SLMR: I Love This Shit & Beat It (the Sean Kingston one) & Tapout

Welcome to Short/Long Music Review, where I find songs (I either love or hate) to review them in a short review that took a long time to review.

Today I review three songs that are about metaphorically hurting some poor slut's vagina, having money we poor folk could never have in a million days, stealing women in other relationships, and smoking illegal drugs like Freddie Prinze. All three are, in my taste, mediocre to various degrees, and I hate four of the participating artists (all featured) so here they are:
I Love This S#!t  by August Alsina featuring Trinidad James, Beat It by Sean Kingston feat. Chris Brown and Wiz Khalifa, and Tapout by Rich Gang featuring Future.

So we start with "I Love This Sh!t" by August Alsina featuring Trinidad James.

This is basically a generic modern R&B song about drinking, sleeping with random women, smoking illegal drugs and loving it like it's your last days on Earth. I like August's voice; he's pretty talented for a Chris Brown or Usher wannabe. But his voice should not mesh with these shit lyrics and chorus.
And then there's Trinidad James. You may remember him for his song "All Gold Everything". I hated it; just like I hate him. He is untalented, lucky to be in the  business, and is really funny-looking. In fact he looks like the product of Bootsy Collins and some black girl from Fat Albert and the Cosby Kids. But...as bad as it was, his featured performance here is better than the one on "All Gold Everything", which is like saying rotting garbage is better than battery acid.



So August needs to find better better material to sing with, because the usual R&B ditty of drinking, smoking and fucking is getting older by the day...and Trinidad needs to get all new everything.

And now, another song about the three C's: Cunts, Coitus and Coke, "Beat It" by Sean Kingston feat. Chris Brown and Wiz Khalifa.

Now at least this is better than "Love This Shit" in it's approach to Women. The guys see girls with with other men, and the girl wants to leave because she wants a better and spicier and raunchier--okay I lied. This is no better. It's just a song about stealing another guy's girl and freak with her, treating her like a disposable cellphone. They just think she's leaving him for one of them. Which is a joke, because the girl would rather be safe with him than life-threatening with them (Chris). Although the hook is, as I admit, pretty damn catchy. As repetitive as it is (saying Beat It over and over), it's something that can be a good earworm with a beat you can dance to. That is until Wiz comes in. In short, it's lyrics about getting high, saying her "nigga" needs to step his game up and getting her wet (like the ocean...heh heh heh).



So it's just another of these. These rappers and singers new to find things to rap or sing about, but they're too absent-minded and in the green to do so. And the people like this. SMH

And now to the final song of the three (and probably the creepiest), Tapout by Rich Gang featuring Future.

And you thought this was about wrestling.
Honey Mustard? (Shiver) Thanks Lil Wayne. You help me lose my interest in that. Before I begin, Rich Gang is a super group featuring members of record labels Cash Money and Young Money
So where the f*ck to begin? As usual, Lil Wayne has usual dic-I mean schtick about sex and his choice of women with low self-esteem and standards with men. And his voice? Dear God. Birdman has his million-dollar (blank) thing, Mack Maine is suckish at best and Nicki Minaj (with her Anjelica Pickles voice) talking about someone's ass (I don't know if it's her's, but who cares?). And everyone says "pussy" more than once. It was nasty for me to hear it in past few years in this context, but now it's just annoying. Future is great here, fortunately because he only does the hook. And speaking of, the second half of it is sadly and undeniably catchy.



And there they are: three songs I didn't have to review but I did, because-well-someone had to. The hooks are catchy, but the lyrics suck (on that) ass. But it's up to you if you want to listen. And next time I will be back to find another song to review (I hope it's good; who am I kidding, it's probably bad)
See you next time.

1 Season Wonder - Hercules: The Animated Series

Hello everyone and welcome to 1 Season Wonder, a segment at Maroon Mondays - where I take a look into the annals of Television and find some of the best TV shows--with one season--and bring them to you for your enjoyment.

Since this is the first edition, I will tell you what this segment is all about. I scour across the Internet and find TV shows with only 1 season, watch them, see if I enjoyed them, talk about them here and put them in a list of 1-Season Wonders. It sounds easy as it looks, right? No, you actually have to find these shows, watch through them hoping they're not as painful as they were the first time, and debate with yourself to see if it makes the list. If that sounds challenging and you want it that way, then let's do it.

Our first show is one of those great cartoons from Disney that you both loved and learned from. Not only can you get a nice lesson in Greek Mythology, you also get a laugh from its great humor and the nods of stuff from the modern era producers add to keep young viewers from being bored. It's based on the movie that you also loved that you also loved and learned from It's Hercules: The Animated Series.

During the 1990s, the Walt Disney Company was on a huge roll--not only with its movies, but also with its animated television series; particularly the ones that aired in syndication. DuckTales, Goof Troop, Darkwing Duck, TaleSpin, Gargoyles, Aladdin--they've all became hits and eventual classics, both in the mainstream and in cult followings. Another of these shows is Hercules: The Animated Series. The show had the usual animated series episode number: 65 episodes. Why? Because, at the time, Disney believes that this many episodes makes for enough material to achieve a few seasons. Except this show had only one. The series is produced by Tad Stones, who also produced other Disney syndicated animated shows. As you know this show is based on the classic 1997 Disney film of the same name, but is actually the prequel to the film; here, Herc goes to High School, hangs out with his friends Icarus and Cassandra and is in training to become a hero, as mentioned in the theme song. Also, there is a huge plot, among many contradictions with the film, where Hades is aware that Hercules is alive, which didn't happen in the movie. Also the series isn't in the film's canon, making for new stories as the show progresses.

The show reunites most of the voice cast including Tate Donovan as Herc himself and James Woods as Hades. In fact, Woods won a Daytime Emmy award for his role as Hades in 2000. If that doesn't prove how impressive his commitment to his role is, then I don't know what is.
Also, the show has an impressive guest voice cast list. The list involves over 150 celebrities from movies, TV and music. Where else can you find Merv Griffin voicing a talk show host...who is a griffin, or Wink Martindale as a sphinx who is great at riddles, Idina Menzel as a woman who's all over men like lotion all over ashy people, Ben Stein as Trivia (that's pronounced Try-VEE-ah), Kathie Lee Gifford and Regis Philbin as (respectively) a mother of very scary monsters and her numerous headed mate, and Dan Castellaneta as a reporter named...Homer. The producers really did know how to tie celebrities to the well-known people of Greek Mythology.

What I love about the series is the humor that comes with the mythology of the characters and settings, even though some are just in name. Even more with the the fact with when guest stars are involved. I don't really mind the history gags, as long as they're accurate. Also the fact that James Woods really commits to his role as Hades, making him a goofy dick than an evil son of a b*tch. Most of the characters are either humorous or humble, with a few being both. The series' art is also amazing: the color is bright, lush and meshes well with each other. And then there's the Muses. They are five women who basically sing songs during each episode. Some are fine, while others are really catchy. One thing I hate about them is that they always seem to kiss Herc's butt, every chance they get. That annoys me. I'm aware that there's a point to that, but there are episodes that doesn't have them do that, which I'm glad to watch sometimes just because of that. But they all are super hot, and that you gotta admit.

After all 65 episodes aired...that's it. Disney usually goes to the next production and sorta-kinda forgets about the last. After the show has ended, Disney made another movie, a midquel (whatever that is) Hercules: Zero to Hero, which is basically four episodes of this show mashed together with original bridging to show what happened during Hercules' teen years while he's spooning with Meg. Herc: TAS went to reruns on Disney Channel and Toon Disney for the next decade and is now for your viewing pleasure on YouTube. (Speaking of Toon Disney, it should've never left. Disney XD sucks. No matter what success it gets.)

So why is it a Wonder?: Because it is one of the many great syndicated Disney animated series. And yes, there many. Basically a individual work of art among the many a individual works of art Disney has put apon the world from the late 80s, throughout the 90s and the turn of the millenium. Also, JAMES FREAKING WOODS.

Favorite Character: Tie between Icarus and Hades. Because both are hilarious in their own ways -- Icarus for talking before thinking (his brain is fried for flying too close to the sun), being his hammy self 24/7, and throwing himself at Cassandra, who doesn't give a sweet f*ck about him, and Hades for being more funny than evil, being his hammy self 24/7, making the rude but comical one-liners every chance he gets.

Favorite Episode: Hercules and the Bacchanal: Because--well, come on, who doesn't find Bacchus hilarious?

And there it is, Hercules: The Animated Series, the first addition of the 1 Season Wonder segment, added to the list of 1 Season Wonders and will forever be known as the spin-off of some Disney film lampooning Greek Mythology, but you know, in a great hilarious and absolutely awesome way-with James Woods.

Next time, I review a classic show starring Sally Field everyone forgotten--until now. It's the first show where surfing, hot guys, dancing when the sun goes down, and the goofy best friend were the priority--before Disney Channel ran it to the ground.

I'll see you next time, but until then, keep your television shows close and the pieces of crap closer.

HW Shaves Head for Little Cancer Patient, My Heart Warms

Hi everyone. If you love a good story to end the week (or close to the end of the week), here it is.

Former President George HW Bush shaved his head in solidarity for the son of a member of his Secret Service detail. The boy, 2-year-old "Patrick" (as identified by the former president's office; his last name withheld at the request of his family), has leukemia and has his hair removed because of treatment. HW got the idea to cut it all off by his other SSd members, who also shaved their heads in honor of the cute little boy.

The office also announced that Bush's Protective Division has "launched a website at to assist with Patrick's medical bills, and organized the Inaugural Patrick's Pals Motorcycle Benefit Run on August 10th in Kennebunkport -- a 50-mile motorcycle ride through the Maine countryside followed by a lunch and silent auction to raise funds for Patrick's treatments." Bush and his wife Barbara's daughter Robin, who also had leukemia, died from the disease 60 years this October.

This is such a beautiful story. For the former president to shave his head, along with his Secret Service detail, in solidarity with this young child, this is really heart-tugging. No child, let alone Patrick, should bear the pain of being diagnosed with leukemia and going through treatment, not even thinking of the fact that every breath could be his last. I hope the boy beats leukemia and lives a really nice, long and healthy life.
And I usually hate Republicans for some of the things they do, but I commend HW for such a very good thing. I also am sorry for the loss of his daughter to leukemia. Again, no child should bear the pain of being diagnosed with leukemia. May this man be forever thanked from me (and probably the rest of the country) for such a great deed for such a young boy.