I actually enjoyed the Oscars. I...can't believe it.
Although, I don't see pigs flying or Hell freezing over, so...hmmm, there's that.
This year's Academy Awards was fronted by host of Jimmy Kimmel Live! and the network's entertainment puppet in late night like Michael Strahan is it's puppet in the morning on GMA. And oddly enough (IMO), he was actually good. While he was great as host. That's below, but first.
This year's show was under a lot of pressure; after the #OscarsSoWhite controversy regarding the acting categories, the long-regurgitating aftermath of the election, the wrath of President D. Trump, and every other award ceremony this year doing it already, and (IMO) Jimmy Kimmel hosting it, it seemed this show would go to crap. But it didn't. I quite enjoyed it. A lot.
Kimmel did a great job as host. His writers made some great material and it was mostly memorable and enjoyable. I loved what I saw and at times...I actually thought about him hosting again. Well it'll make sense to ABC, since him hosting would save them hella cash. But I would be okay with it.
Here are my favorite moments from this year's show, in order of appearance. Superb in their own:
--Mahershala Ali said a moving speech after picking up the win of Actor in a Supporting Role for Moonlight. Touched my heart and was classy yet real. Congrats to the first Muslim actor to win an Oscar.
--Suicide Squad won an Oscar... I know right?
The Razzie-nominated film won the opposite award. For Best Makeup and Hair. Redemption feels so great!
--Auli'i Cravalho gave us all one of our favorite moments of the night with her performance of "How Far I'll Go" from Animated Feature nominee Moana. It brought me to tears and her voice was super lovely to hear.
--When Kimmel asked the crowd if they were hungry (I bet they've all been asked that twice a week), I thought he'd leech off Ellen DeGeneres and even Chris Rock with brilliant segments involving pizza and Girl Scout cookies respectively. He did, but it was still funny. And that catch Andrew Garfield made. Nice job, ex-Spider-Man!
--Actress in a Supporting Role winner Viola Davis (from Fences) gives us another reason why we love her as an actress and a human being. Her speech moved me to tears and moved me. Her thanks to her parents for everything should be my mantra to parents. I should be grateful to them to loving putting up with my dick-headed ass. Oh and another thing, now that she finally won an Academy Award, Ms. Davis is now 3/4s close to the legendary EGOT club. All she needs is a Grammy; I wouldn't be surprised if she ends up with one.
--Shirley MacLaine!! STILL beautiful after all these years.
--Afghan Farhadi's Iranian drama film The Salesman won Foreign Language Film. It was a shame that he couldn't be there to pick up the statuette, because he couldn't even be in the U.S. thanks to President Trump's retarded Immigrant--I mean "Travel" Ban. So he stayed in Iran. His speech regarding (and even despite of) the ban--which was human, beautiful and heartfelt--was read by one of two prominent Iranians, Anousheh Ansari (the first female space tourist). The other on stage was Firouz N (who works at NASA). It was just a moment that proudly and unapologetic-ly tells you this America is our land for everyone to live and love.
Jimmy has now made a memorable moment in Oscar history. And all it took was a group of blissfully unaware Hollywood tourists and thousands of dollars to do so. They were supposed to go to a wax museum, but ended up close to Tinsel Town elite. Two of them even got married (sort of) by probably her movie wet dream Denzel Washington. Best night ever right??
The next presentation made one of the men presenting the luckiest/hated man on Earth. Seth Rogen, Michael J. Fox,THE DeLOREAN and those self-tying Nike sneakers. Goddammit. I'm so glad the standing ovation was Mike (he deserved it though). The whole thing was awesome.
After a long while of waiting and Hollywood taking a long jizz to La La Land, the In Memoriam segment continued to tug at one heartstrings with salutes to the people we know and especially the people we DON'T know. Sara Bareilles sang "" by -- and it moved me. Plus, Jennifer Aniston saluted Bill Paxton, who suddenly and tragically passed on the previous day. All of this was beautiful.
"Please welcome 2-time Academy Awards winners, Ben Affleck and Guest".
So...Jimmy Kimmel...REALLY doesn't like Matt Damon. Their years-long feud has been the stuff of legend. Ever since Damon fucked Kimmel's then-girlfriend Sarah Silverman, Jimmy has never gave Matt a inch. Jokes, time delays, a classic ambush, and clever sneaks across a decade+ later, and it all came to this.
All of that was hilarious. All of the Damon screw-overs was pure gold. Your opinion on either man may stay the same, but you gotta admit that all of it was brilliant.
--"And the Academy Award for Best Picture...
...La La Land."
Shit. I don't hate the film. It's just much better films deserved it more. Arrival, Hacksaw Ridge, Hidden Figures, Lion, Manchester by the Sea, Moonlight--
Oh wait a minute, what is this?
"Moonlight is Best Picture."
...Whaaaaaaaaaaat? I--uhh--well--wow. I didn't expect that at all. Apparently Warren Beatty read the card wrong, and said the wrong title. That plot twist was more shocking,unexpected and fulfilling than any of M. Night Shyamalan's films post-Sixth Sense. Call it a "Steve Harvey at Miss Universe 2015" moment withOUT Steve Harvey! But it also wrapped up one of the most fun and entertaining Academy Awards telecasts I've ever seen.
Jimmy Kimmel was a great host (believe it or not), many of the jokes landed well, I was happy with the winners, and I left a happy dude.
Well that's my review of the 89th annual Academy Awards. Did you enjoy the show? What was your favorite moment? Did you have a good drink after the 6 times La La Land won Oscars? Were you as annoyed as I was with the commercials Verizon did clogging airtime, despite your love for Thomas Middleditch? Let me know what you thought in the comments section below.
Thank you for joining me, everybody. And until soon,
Attention, campers,
Attention, campers,
It's tiiiiiiiime for Camp Lazlo!
There were two scouts who made a friend
And Lazlo was his name-o
L-A-Z-L-O
L-A-Z-L-O
L-A-Z-L-Oooooooo...
And Lazlo was his name-o
And then the trio went to camp and turned it upside-down-o
L-A-Z-L-O
l-a-z-l-o
L-A-Z-L-Ooooooo
And Lazlo was his name-oligopoly...
(Yodelay-hee...)
