Mere mortals... ghosts and ghouls... damned demented derricks ... gynecologists... Welcome to your dooooooom. Also, welcome back to Saturday Night Live Review!
I hope you're feeling putrid. Because I have a roundup that'll melt your skin, rot your soul, blacken your heart... and wish you had a different career goal. (Seriously, what you do is embarrassing.) Let's take a trip down ...
for Episode 4, hosted and musical-guested by rapper... called Chance, Chance the Rapper.
The Cold Open takes us Donald Trump rally in Albuquerque, New Mexico (or as he refers it - "Albacore, tuna capital of the United States" in "by far, my favorite Mexico") where President 45 (once again played by Alec Baldwin [because fuck Match Game and all the future guest roles; all he needs is this and he's set for life])
There's so much to love here:
- Alec's continued performance as Trump
- The writing, which at this point two years ago was really written by Trump and everyone around him; the writers just enhanced it a bit and Donnie might expect residuals very soon
- The cast, especially Cecily Strong as MAGAsupporter "Christine from Los Crusas", Aidy Bryant as an even loonier supporter, Pete Davidson as an escaped fighter of ISIS, Alex Moffit as "Mark Zuckerberg" announcer Darrell Hammond as Bill Clinton and alum Fred Armisen as Turkey's Premier Erdogan.
Fave Lines:
Everything "Christine from Los Crusas" said
- "I don't care what they say, I know it's big." and
"We're gonna ride. Kind of the only thing we do." - Bikers with Trump rep (Mikey Day) (what's funny is how brilliant it is, being an un-exaggerated non-hyperbole on what the MAGAtards would do whether or not Trump is impeached and removed from office. These people can be and - at times - prove to be batshit insane)
-- Everything the background crowd says (proving that the MAGAnuts can be - and are - members of a cult lead by gold-snorting, tan-faced ox of a false idol they are worshiping and willing to die for to get him to even notice them for their brief, undeserved adoration. Also not exaggeration or hyperbole.)
-- "I love you. And I worship you as the one true white lord!" and everything else -MAGAfreak (Aidy Bryant)
Need more?
Another home-run of a political CO. Speaking of home-run, did anyone watch the World Series last weekend??
Chance the Rapper makes his return to Studio 8H, proving - after three stints as musical guest and one as host two years prior (doing the Thanksgiving episode no less!) - Lorne and the crew like him well enough to have him steadily appear the last several years and he hasn't missed a beat... to beat. His Monologue proves it, as it's based around his hometown Chicago's well-known moniker of/as The Second City. And for that, incensed, - and with help from Melissa Villasenor Heidi Gardner and (for some reason) Kyle Mooney - he goes to rap about his favorite things that are second nature in the realm of public opinion.
Burger King, Pepsi, Robin Gibb, Chili's, Luigi (from Super Mario Bros.), Sega Genesis and DMC (as in Run-..., over Rev Run) and forgotten and ill-fated products of pop culture like Bing, the Percy Jackson movies, Antz, Redbox, Adam Carolla, Brooklyn Nets and Scrappy-Doo (Hey, someone likes him too!! I feel redeemed!!) get a shout-out and it feels both pretty funny and pretty charming. While this has to be written by one of the writers, I'd be superbly content if Chance had a hand in the rhymes (he's quirky cool like that).
Random Thoughts:
--If you're an Outlier - with a love of any of those things, this is for you. Outside of Scrappy, I have equal measure love for or outright dislike any of these things.
--Why Chance let a white man (KyMoo) rap should be grounds for his black card to be revoked. This is the mistake we have to put up with after Vanilla Ice. (Eminem and Macklemore are excluded.) KyMoo has no thug life; he could get shot just for thinking that in a black neighborhood.
--Also, I now know what an isthmus is. Every time I say it, I feel like a grown-ass, black Cindy Brady.
--And California Dreams was my sheeeit back in the day. Random afternoon reruns in the 2000s put it on-point with me. Why isn't anyone talking about a revival or reboot of that show?? Why is that trash Zack Morris still getting head-space??
- "I was wondering, do you think I could be on your next album?"
--Heeeeell no! You're lucky you got to rap, let alone speak. Those pretty ladies got nothing but to be the scene in Say Anything. (You KNOW that scene).
--
The Sketch After is the newest, hugely popular recurring character to baffle me since David S. Pumpkins (unlike Pumpkins, I get his schtick and laughed immediately). Meet Lazlo Holmes, a correspondent for the New York regional sports network known as MSG. He usually covers legendary NBA franchise (and nationwide punching bag) the New York Knicks; but thanks to the company's other reporters leaving for reasons from paternity leave to taking to PSATs (apparently they'll cover anything and hire anyone), Lazlo has to cover their sports as well.
Holmes' first appearance had him calmly complain about the cold elements of Hockey (and his surprise that a black man actually likes the sport).
And now, he's bewildered by the on-the-rise and crazily popular... thing known as e-sports with his coverage of the League of Legends World Championship. Believe it or not... he doesn't like it.
Okay... this is hilarious. But at first, I didn't get the hype. Here's the punchline: a black sports reporter out of his element and instead doing coverage of something his race ain't having no business being near, and outright stating his distaste, perplexity for such. It's hilarious to me (and even more so that black people can and do love more than just the the B-ball, but at first I didn't think this would continue. After this sketch... I'm now convinced. And with Chance playing him instead of - say - Chris Redd (because there are enough roles for him [/s]), they don't have to do this more than once a season. It's the same setup and punchline and its more expected here, but it still works and the jokes land well (even if I cannot possibly relate to whom now has to be the second fictional character in TV history I know of named Lazlo... after him.
Fave Lines (courtesy of Lazlo Holmes):
"I guess e-sports is what White and Asian kids were doing while Black kids were inventing Hip-Hop."
"Well, to me, this game looks like how a seizure feels. But I think if you know what's happening in this clip, you need to get out of the house more."He says he's kidding. But honestly, he's not. But hey, at least the pay is good.
Random Thought:
S3X PANDA99 is my spirit animal from the username alone. Even if I got zero word out of anything he said.
--
Tasty Toaster Tarts
Jason might have... done something... to his parents.
But hey, he's got the Tasty Toaster Tarts!!!! DAY MADE!!!!
This pre-tape airing close to Halloween may have been obvious but it's no doubt brutally hilarious. Since you watched it, you knew what happens. Chance's performance here was well-done, both as a cheerful, excited teenage boy excited to have over friends for treats and pallin', and a silently deranged demon child who should be in Arkham Asylum and the next subject of an episode of Law & Order: SVU.
--
Spooky Song
Two white kids cavort about a cemetery, and now must listen to four ghosts' creepy compositions about their current careers as celophane-esque corpses. The third one (Chance) is the one we wanna hear about the most to his "chance-grin".
As expected, the cast must sing about brutal ways they met their maker, while host has the most revolting and embarrassing demise of all-- he got mega hard from reaching 9V batteries up his rectum and getting electrocuted from protruding a pole up his patootie on his roof, leaving him parting to the postmortem pissy/poopy-pantsy style. Yikes, no wonder he wanted to skip his turn.
Ahh, toilet humor. When it works, it works. And boy did it work here. Chance did the heavy lifting here, and carried the sketch with ease, with embarrassment easily spoken and foresight of his actions clearly streaked across his face. And the shock and disgust from everyone else is palpable. Plus, the dark setup and punchline mixed with the whimsical humor and songs
Plus, the set of the sketch is the best of them all. The fake tombstones, piano-plaing skeleton and puppet owl (whose reactions somehow remind me of The Californians) and the large LED screen displaying the clouds that create illustrations that show the ghosts' deaths are big pluses to me; and show that when the set design department are great, they're awesome. Great job, everyone. This is the Best Sketch of the Week.
--
Judge Barry
This judge has the power to preside cases judging on people's (men's) appearances.
It feels like something made with Gilda Radner in it. I liked the idea and the flying (guess what it really is) but to me the execution felt a bit off. But the turn off kiss was hilarious. And at least the lady found love... by the bartender that looked up her dress. Certainly gave him a rise up.
--
Space Mistakes
This last Pre-Tape hits the nail on the head on what could happen if you fucked up in space. Shit goes south super soon.
This is brutal to think about, but it is hilarious to watch still.
Remember that Nationwide Super Bowl commercial where the kid is revealed to have died at the end? Well this is like that if it screwed the Challenger disaster: the mystical wonder and delight of working for NASA, only for something to not go right and take the lives of everyone on board. I'd watch this if this was a dark comedy movie should it exist.
Both pre-tapes this week were very morbid and yet very side-splitting. Well done, writers for taking the PT's to some depressing places for the lolz.
--
And now,
Uncut for Ever:
Where I review sketches that didn't make the 90-minute live show.
So, ever watched those Public Service Announcements back in the day when untalented people in loud, flashy clothes overact to what was _then worst pieces of society (drugs, alcohol, sex, fire, littering) and you cringe to when someone suffers or creepily enjoys from one of them? Of course you all did. Well, this sketch takes the idea, and mockingly shoves it up its ass.
This was really funny. The pacing was slow, the direction was a bit sloppy and the lighting was bottom-notch. But all of this, and especially the acting, was intentional to prove a point in how bizarrely bad it is (beside many of the worst PSA's). The acting was terrible, the clothes were bargin-bin as Boscov's, the writing was trash, and the production rushed and sub-par Canadian children's comedy. And it all was brilliantly well-done. I wouldn't haved loved it if it made the live show, but as a cut sketch it was A+ execution.
That reminds me, I gotta watch those Smokey the Bear and McGruff the Crime Dog cartoon PSAs from the 90s. Those were my childhood.
--
Chance the Rapper introduces this week's musical guest: some rando from Illinois named... oh yeah.
He performed some new tracks from his first ever studio album The Big Day (don't worry fans, it's still self-released): "Zanies and Fools" and "Handsome" with the woman whom will at this point be forever known for "Hot Girl Summer", Megan Thee (remember the second "e") Stallion.
"Zanies..." is a deliciously hype record about his meeting his future wife at a Re/Max open house. The song is bright, ; and the performance is all-pink from lighting to dancers and the band's outfits. The showcase also featured a video of Chance's beautiful daughter singing "Impossible: It's Possible" from Rodgers and Hammerstein's Cinderella, which is sampled in the song and lifted every single one of my spirits. Chance's usual bounce, goofy rap-sings were the usual yet a nice touch, but everything else about the production felt like something I've never heard from Chance (which should say so much of me not hearing his music. Gotta change that).
"Handsome" is young typical brag rap song. Rapper says he looks hot, is rich, sees everyone as jealous of him his "talent" and his bank account, and has eyes for one girl having eyes on him. It's obnoxious but it's usual. But wow, this is uncomfortable to listen to, especially when it's made by Chance the Rapper. I don't know if he made songs like this before, but this isn't something he can make in his element (at least to me). And it shows here. Megan Thee Stallion is certainly in hers, but her lyrics (some good, others very much not) are sloppy and raunchy as her voice. She does have the energy to say them but she's more Nicki and especially Cardi than Remy (ironically Nicki did guest on "HGS", so there's that). I really like the production and work by the backup band though, so there's also that.
I hope The Big Day features more songs like Zanies and Fools than like Handsome, because despite the roller coaster feelings of Chance's musical performances, I still wanna cop the album, no matter how brutal the fan reaction was. I mean, DAYUM.
--
Well, this episode was fangtastic. The writers certainly tapped deeper into Chance's strengths as an actor for the sketches, the cast were in their Agame as always, there was some chemistry going between the Rapper and the Cast, and while there weren't any sketches that are exactly memorable (probably other than Lazlo Holmes II: Spastic over e-sports), they were still funny in their own ways.
Best Sketches:
- E-sports Reporter
- Spooky Song
- Judge Barry
Next time, it's episode 5, hosted by award-winning indie darling (and you know where else) Kristen Stewart with music from newly Five-Timers Club member Coldplay. Who knew an F-bomb actually can't keep you away from coming back? Certainly not me (... everyone but Lorne. Must be the forgiving type.)
Well, then, evil spirits, that takes care of our little rendezvous. Any last words?? Oky, Happy Halloween, everybody! Either enjoy the treats, or enjoy the trick that'll rid us of your miserable, miserly existence. Enjoy the day...
...and I'm Andrew, saying Goodnight, and "We're not judging you."
...well, I am.
