SLMR: We Can't Stop and Pom Poms

Welcome to Short/Long Music Review, where I find songs (I either love or hate) to review them in a short review that took a long time to review.

Today I'm working on two hits from four former Disney Channel stars that become something close to J.Lo and The Wanted. These artists have changed their images because they wanted to, not because they had to. They're growing, and so are their fanbases. So they had to make songs to prove those changes: songs about girls with big butts and having fun like it's no one's business. It's "We Can't Stop" by Miley Cyrus and "Pom Poms" by The Jonas Brothers.

First up, "We Can't Stop".

As you all know, Miley Cyrus began her career as the star of Disney Channel's Disney Hannah Montana.

During that time, she has sang every other cliched teeny-bopper song under the sun about breakups, makeups, best friends, going out, kissing, and other crap through the world-famous alias of Hannah Montana, becoming one of the most cleanest, holiest, smells-like-lemon-est singers and actors in the world. Even after Hannah changed her look to something from a thrift store, she still looks clean. After the show's end, Miley has gone through a big change in her life; dropping the Walmart shirts and Target pants and going straight to the Hollister tank tops and H&M short-shorts. She has gone through a big phase and boy, has she impressed us with it. And she has put this change into song form with "We Can't Stop".


When I first read about this song, I thought "Oh God, am I gonna hate this song". Because it's about adolescents doing God knows what, going God know where, putting things where God (and the other person) know where to put them, and saying that they don't care what anybody else thinks like teenage girls on The Maury Show, you can understand what I mean. But when I first heard it...well, It's kinda surprising. As it turns out, I actually like it. (I know, I know. I may be as shocked as you are.) But there can be a good reason why. Now I like Miley's music, even all the way back to her Hannah Montana phase. Sounds poppy, lyrics are clean, and the beat is sugary, but danceable. And like that music, it's catchy, with beats to dance to, and it's not really too sugar-coated. And as her image matured, so did her music. She did have a few missteps here and there ("Moving my hips like yeah" Really?) but she gradually gotten better. Which leads to "We Can't Stop". The beat is perfect (it was produced by Mike WILL Made It; not a typical choice for a white female pop artist, but surprisingly nice choice indeed), the lyrics are super catchy (although some including "Everybody in line in the bathroom/Trying to get a line in the bathroom} are questionably weird), and the popularity may be well-deserved. It is yet another poppy dance/club song about getting sweaty and finding love in a club, but at least it's not set to an electronic beat with creepy sounds or human noises slapped in, because I really hate them.
Now the video...it's interesting. Dancing with a giant teddy bear on your back? Check.
Colored mist coming from your nether regions? Check.
Cutting your fingers to spew pink liquid? Check.
Kissing a doll version of yourself? Check.

And twerking on blast in skin-tight clothes?

Double check. Make that part of the list of components for the weirdest and most off-putting music video I've seen this year so far. Yes, it involves dancing and falling in love (or lust) and being with friends...even though it's in an really odd setting. Some critics have said that the video is a desperate attempt by Miley to be popular and relevant again. I don't know about them but I really like the video, but it's best that I watch in small doses. I can't have nightmares about that...moving computer head.

And now, "Pom Poms".

That's right, guys. The JoBros are back, and they're better than ever! Now, before you ask me, yes, the Jonas Brothers were also Disney Channel stars. After they became teen heart-throbs (with their skinny suits and their promise rings), their first television appearance was on Hannah Montana, before being randomly chosen (like every other DC star appearing in every other DC show) by Disney Channel to star in their own show, Disney JONAS.

It about the three spending time away from being pop-rock stars and kicking back to become regular teenagers. And with that, there is also wacky scenes, goofy transitions and an awesome soundtrack. Sometimes I thought Nick was a player, Joe was goofy, and Kevin was gay. (It was actually really good.)
(Yes, the Disney logo appears on all the DC shows' logo; and the Disney (program name) thing is a joke to show my annoyance of such)

After the show ended (it got cancelled), the brothers went back to music, and were nothing like I thought. After another album, a sudden breakup, side projects (Nick with The Administration, Joe went solo, and Kevin had a kid), the trio decided to patch things up, get back together, break up with the label, start their own, and make more music, which led to "Pom Poms".


Now this song is different from their earlier work, mostly because it's about a guy's desire to see a girl's booty go boing. Normally, if I hear any song about this description, I'd think about beaning myself with a can opener. But this time I won't. This one's actually a pretty enjoyable song about such. In fact, as I admit, hearing this song, the JBs makes this look innocent, although they probably wouldn't admit it. Also the line "I want you on my team/Want you like a kid just wants a milkshake" is kinda cute, but hilarious. The beat is amazing; the addition of college sports marching band music is an awesome touch and using "put you pom poms down for me" is a clever euphemism for "shake dat ass for me, mommy", although no one is supposed to be fooled. In fact, the more I hear this song, I more I know that they're trying to be more mature, but I just see this as adorable.
As for the video, it looks like a exciting extension: Telling girls to put their pom poms down on a football field. Get it, because cheerleaders shake pom poms on a football field.

It's a--never mind. And to make it more exciting, throw in hot skinny girls in skimpy clothing (maybe from Hollister or H&M), a real marching band and a church choir to accentuate the "Revival" line. (GLORY!) And, oh, the kid and the milkshake are here too. So this video for "Pom Poms" better to look at than "We Can't Stop". To me it looks like the visual is set in Gravity Falls, making "We Can't Stop" look like it's set in Elmore. There's no finger-cutting, doll-kissing, money-eating or hot dog pinatas here. Keep going somewhere else.
But both videos are enjoyable, as are these songs. These songs are great to dance to at the club or at home by yourself. Either way, these songs are wonderful to hear, but don't listen too close to the lyrics.

And there they are: two songs I didn't have to review but I did, because-well-someone had to. The hooks are catchy, but the lyrics are about Running things before things run we (GULP) and feeling happy some girl's hands are free to run all over you. But it's up to you if you want to listen. And next time I will be back to find another song to review (I hope it's good; who am I kidding, it's probably bad)
See you next time.

Simon Cowell Fathers Friend's Wife's Baby: Some Maury Povich Shit

Hi everyone. Need a shocker? Then watch FearNet. But here's the closest thing to real-life Trash TV drama.

The X Factor judge Simon Cowell is in big trouble today, as it is revealed that he may be the father of someone's baby... the wife of close friend Andrew (hey, that's my name) Silverman.

36-year-old socialite Lauren Silverman — who is still legally married to Silverman, New York real estate giant — is, as of posting this, 10 weeks pregnant with 53-year-old Simon's first child. Here's what led to the affair: Simon was close friends with the rich and ritzy Silvermans. He has gone with them on expensive vacations and lavish parties, being all the more closer with Lauren while Andrew was busy with other things. Recently, their marriage was on the rocks, and Lauren felt emotionally and romantically detached, so she ran into the arms of Simon, and they allegedly had a sexual affair behind Sir Silverman's back, which led to the love child. Simon didn't even know that the baby existed until July 10, with some saying "He was tricked" into the affair and conception of the child. Now all the tabloids in the US and UK are blowing up with this story and everyone's talking about it. Even his co-judge on America's Got Talent's cross-country counterpart Britain's Got Talent, David Walliams, made a splash with this, tweeting:

Oh yeah, and @SimonCowell is doing a baby with a lady.

— David Walliams (@davidwalliams) July 31, 2013

I LMAO'ed at this. It would've been funnier if he said, "Doing a baby with a baby".

Sir Silverman would speak on the matter, saying “My top priority is protecting my 7-year-old son while working to resolve all outstanding issues with my wife"..."Hopefully people can respect the interest of our child during this process." Miss Lauren would also break her silence saying in a separate statement, "I am committed to sorting things out with Andrew as amicably as possible to ensure the well-being of our son. I would hope for some space and privacy in order to work through this." The couple filled for divorce on July 15.
Simon would also speak respond to the matter, by only dodging the question during a press release for The X Factor at The Television Critics Summer Press Tour, joking "I haven't read the newspapers. Am I missing something?" and later said "Unfortunately I have to keep this, for the moment, private, but... it's just one of those things, but thank you very much anyway," So Simon, who really is aware of the baby he may or may not be having, will not say anything about it...but I'm going to.

This is not right. Maybe this is karma at Simon for all the damning criticism to all the contestants on American Idol and wearing that ugly black T-shirt all the time. That's what you get for being a Brit, Simon! Better than us at everything; smarts, physique, monetary posterity...uhh, hot voice--okay that's too for me.
But seriously, this is so wrong here. Like Maury Show wrong. At least you weren't black, because if so, everyone would find this considered to be a laughing matter; a ratchety laughing matter. But these days, news like this is a laughing matter anyway, and I scoffed at this the first Time I read this. Even if you're not the father, you ought to be ashamed and embarrassed of yourself. Because to me, a baby is considered to be a big, living, breathing reminder of an affair and regret. Also, Silverman should leave Lauren, because cheating breaks marriage vows, and breaking vows--well--cheating's just bad, okay? The fact that this rich couple can't go to marriage counseling and fix this union (which probably is as his fault as was her's too) was also baffling. If they really love each other, they shouldn't be together in the first place.
And I hope Mario Lopez makes a joke about this at the first live X Factor show, because...actually that's what the show needs, counting it's ratings log and network's desperate need to fill a schedule. (*cough FOX cough*)

HW Shaves Head for Little Cancer Patient, My Heart Warms

Hi everyone. If you love a good story to end the week (or close to the end of the week), here it is.

Former President George HW Bush shaved his head in solidarity for the son of a member of his Secret Service detail. The boy, 2-year-old "Patrick" (as identified by the former president's office; his last name withheld at the request of his family), has leukemia and has his hair removed because of treatment. HW got the idea to cut it all off by his other SSd members, who also shaved their heads in honor of the cute little boy.

The office also announced that Bush's Protective Division has "launched a website at to assist with Patrick's medical bills, and organized the Inaugural Patrick's Pals Motorcycle Benefit Run on August 10th in Kennebunkport -- a 50-mile motorcycle ride through the Maine countryside followed by a lunch and silent auction to raise funds for Patrick's treatments." Bush and his wife Barbara's daughter Robin, who also had leukemia, died from the disease 60 years this October.

This is such a beautiful story. For the former president to shave his head, along with his Secret Service detail, in solidarity with this young child, this is really heart-tugging. No child, let alone Patrick, should bear the pain of being diagnosed with leukemia and going through treatment, not even thinking of the fact that every breath could be his last. I hope the boy beats leukemia and lives a really nice, long and healthy life.
And I usually hate Republicans for some of the things they do, but I commend HW for such a very good thing. I also am sorry for the loss of his daughter to leukemia. Again, no child should bear the pain of being diagnosed with leukemia. May this man be forever thanked from me (and probably the rest of the country) for such a great deed for such a young boy.

Paula Deen Breaks America's Buttered-up Heart for Racial Slur Use

Hi everyone.

Earlier this month, Paula Deen gotten into hot water when she revealed in a taped interview that she used the N-word a few times before in her life. Since then, many sponsors have dropped deals with her, including K-mart, Walmart, Target, Sears, and the Home Depot. Her shows were dropped was dropped by the Food Network and she was also dropped by Random House as publisher for her latest cookbook. Since then, her life is in terrible ruins.

This is just really sad here, both literally and figuratively. This woman has had a huge empire that she built for decades, only to see it implode in a week. Her many sponsors leaving her for saying the N-word, of all things, in a taped interview, have become pussies in response. She later went to Today where, in an interview with the always curmudgeonly classy Matt Lauer, she wanted to apologize for this for the tenthteen time and wants to past in the past and begin anew. She even said "I is what I is". I actually understood what she said, being from the South, even though this sentence is a stupid punchline for a really stupid joke; this was probably said on Inside Edition to screw her even further, but I don't know.

This ridiculous behavior towards her needs to stop. We black people used the word as a greeting to each other with no problems for decades. But when a white person says it, we all are up in arms; but this makes us hypocrites. Yes even I feel bad when a white person says it, but don't call the NAACP for it. Paula Deen admitted she used the word once at a robbery at gunpoint. Why are we still bitching about it? And why is she losing sponsorship for it? She didn't do anything worse like killing someone, or raping a child, committing a major conspiracy involving some of the nation's top secrets! Yes she said the N-word, but for me, that's considered a gasp and a talking-to in the my neighborhood. It's 2013, for God's sakes. We should be taking this in a little shock, then in stride, and then move on. This has been going on for more than two weeks and is getting stupider by the day.

Target, Walmart, Home Depot, and whatever else Ms. Deen has as a sponsor, you did a stupid thing dropping her. There are actors, athletes, authors, ect. who do even worse things than that, and they still get sponsorships, at least for a few more weeks. To think that saying the N-word is equivalent to killing a child, you're are sad pathetic excuses of human beings. What you've done will probably make you lose customers who all the way support Deen (women, people with a brain, Republicans, I don't know), including me; although I admit, I usually go with my mom to those stores. But if you don't re-sponsor Paula, I will never shop there again, which is rare, as I don't do that already. I only go for the air conditioning. And Food Network, you lost a viewer in me, and I only watch your shows because watching people make food entertains me.

Ms. Deen, you have my utmost respect as a black person. This bullcrap is downright dumb and I hope, for your sake and the sake of all that's smart and sane, that this "We Cut Paula Deen Because She Said the Word Nigger" crap ends soon. I may need a new shirt.

The Navy: Cap'n Crunch Not a Real Captain (FACEPALM)

Hiya, mates.

So I didn't read the news online that the George Zimmerman trial has began--or Edward Snowden has escaped US borders with top secret files--or even that over a 100 people died in India while all the talk was on Demi Lovato's deadbeat father died. Nope. I read the news that the United States Navy has declared that Cap'n Crunch, a very popular cereal mascot of the same-name brand from Quaker Oats, is not a real captain.



Yes, really. You see, their argument, as flimsy as I have ever heard, is that they said the Cap'n has three stripes on his uniform, instead of four as a real captain of any US law enforcement would have on his/her uniform, making the Cap'n a commander, leading them say that the Cap'n is--GASP--a fraud!! Even the Pentagon actually went so far as to say it had "no record of a Cap'n Crunch ever serving in the U.S. Navy," and they're going to have to investigate this potential "serious offense." (ugh) Apparently, this news has gone so viral, that it has gotten talk on many real news programs across the country, whether local, national, or even international. Everyone has talked about this for weeks more than any other horrible story in the world actually worth talking about. In fact the Cap'n himself has spoken about this in this video:

So there. If that should prove it. The Cap'n actually taking time to say he's still a Captain no matter what anybody says otherwise. And now, I would like to rant for a sec...

So, first off...WHY THE GODDAMN HELL IS THIS NEWS?!! This is not something the local and national news shows should be talking about or even mentioning like they're up in arms. And yes, some news sites are actually pissed at this. So what's next? The Trix rabbit's not a real rabbit, but a cat with a birth defect? Lucky the Lucky Charms leprechaun isn't really a leprechaun, but a man in a Halloween costume possessed by witches? Or, for kicks, Cheerios aren't little O's, but wheat-based ingredients shaped like vaginas? This isn't news, but it should be to show how stupid and screwed up the the Navy is for opening their mouths on this dumb subject. This is the biggest embarrassment for the US military since the CIA fired David Petraeus for having an affair on his wife behind her and his family's backs.
Secondly, why is the freaking Navy actually talking about this?! The Cap'n isn't real. He's a cartoon used for commercial and promotional use by Quaker Oats to sell Cap'n Crunch boxes. They shouldn't care about what's on his uniform, but what's in their stomach when they're eating his cereal. And like he said, he's four-fingered, eyebrows-on-hat-wearing man with a talking dog for first mate, for Crunch sakes. The Navy whining about the stripes on his uniform makes me want to facepalm as hard as I can, along with the rest of the nation, who finds this really sad on their part. And Pentagon, What the F*ck? You really, really believe that it's worth it to say that the Cap'n, a fake character to begin with, has no record of serving in the U.S. Navy and that you're launching an investigation of this potential "serious offense"? Oh My God, I hate this... This moment will be a perfect black eye on their reputation. They should have more important things to do, like send cadets to battlefield, or check if the enemy says hello with a missile strike, or worry about which cadet died so you can tell their families and forget about it later on. Make that another reason for Conan O'Brien to say Why China is Kicking our Ass. Unless I hope this is a publicity stunt. Yes, it's weird, but at least it makes sense.

And here's the hilarious and heartwarming part. People have went to social media to sing their praises to the Cap'n for being their cereal hero. Tweets, posts on Facebook, videos on YouTube, they have done it all. Even I myself have done it. I know we're all falling for a fake cereal box mascot, but it's worth it. We've all loved him in commercials for years and begged our parents to buy boxes of those delicious crunchy morsels. Here is some Tweets from the actual Cap'n Crunch Twitter page:

@RealCapnCrunch is a real captain! Only real captains can defeat the Soggies AND make a great cereal!

— Jason hyman (@Smashfan64) June 23, 2013

Do not question @RealCapnCrunch's rank. He has all authority over Crunchberries. What more proof do you need? #TeamCrunch

— Charlie Ratcliff (@SeeCharlieTweet) June 22, 2013

I'll say it again, Horatio Magellan Crunch will always be a Cap'n to me. Crunchitize me, @RealCapnCrunch !

— Zak Hlavna (@blahdiddy2003) June 23, 2013

So @RealCapnCrunch could be the Captain of a paddle boat & I still won't care. His cereal is AMAZING! #CapnCrunchForLife

— Millie Rocklage (@LadyMillieRock) June 23, 2013

Who agrees that @RealCapnCrunch is a real captain?? I stand by the #teamcrunch. #mysonslovethecrunch

— Melissa Joan Hart (@MelissaJoanHart) June 21, 2013

@RealCapnCrunch I don't care about what's your uniform or if you're a commander. You're still a cap'n to me. #StripesDontMatter #CrunchLove

— #AndrewPollard (@AndrewPollard_) June 20, 2013

That's right, all these people and more have tweeted their support for the Cap'n, and he tweeted back his appreciation with this tweet:

I'd like to thank all those on #TeamCrunch these last few days… your loyalty shall not be in vain! Stay tuned. pic.twitter.com/iY93EuGwkF

— Cap'n Crunch (@RealCapnCrunch) June 21, 2013

So Cap'n Crunch, ignore the talk and stupid stuff the Navy and Pentagon have put apon you and please stay your true self. We'd love it that way. Stay the Cap'n. Oh, and go f*ck yourself, Navy and Pentagon.

Now, excuse me while the Cap'n crunchitizes me. See ye next time.

Taylor Swift's Fans: We Knew A&F Was Trouble

I know this me condescending to this kind of nonsense, but I have to. I gotta keep this blog.\

As you know, I ripped into Abercrombie and Fitch previously for their decision to stop making clothes for plus-sized women customers. This decision was because its CEO wanted to appeal to "the cool kids" This rip is well-deserved. But this post is completely different.
You see, A&F began selling a shirt for female customers that said this quote: "# more boyfriends than T.S.", the T.S. initials obviously being Taylor Swift. Apparently, this shirt became a hot topic online, yet I found this as funny as Phineas and Ferb The Movie. And Phineas and Ferb The Movie was extremely funny. And everyone else did too, most definitely because of Taylor Swift's well-know horrible love life and how she turns them into hit songs. This always becomes a big topic for comedians, talk show hosts and basically everyone else to yuk about. Since then, everyone has made this into a laugh fest.

But at the other end of the spectrum, a few hundred thousand people did not find this funny. At all. Who are these people, you ask? Swift's fans, who else? Apparently they found this so offensive that they began to curse A&F for being the horrible, sick, Devil-run company it is and began to boycott its stores for selling the shirt. They even took to social media to stop the sales of it, creating a petition on Change.org and called the service line to complain. One of them made a video about complaining to the service line.
Surprisingly, they even won this ensuing "war" between them and the company. So the shirt isn't sold anymore and the Swifties can call this a victory as they go tell their leader Torson about it on the planet Swork and once and again profess their love for their leader, once and again annoyed by this.

Seriously, can they take a joke? It is true that Taylor Swift has dated a few famous men, broke up with them, and wrote songs with this as if she's the victim, and they will feel sorry for her her and comfort her by covering her songs on YouTube, making fan art and doing their damnest to make her notice. But even they know that Taylor Swift sucks at finding the right guy, and making only songs about breaking up and falling in love with some random guy is just annoying. And what's even more annoying, at least to me, is the fact that they find anyone (or anything) criticizing her and defend her by shooting them down as if she means more to them than their own lives or eating, when in reality, Taylor Swift doesn't give a jack sh!t about them, only sees them as walking potentials of being rich, and her record label will do anything to make her record more songs for more exposure and (of course) more money. If she says she loves them, that's it; she loves them, but she doesn't really care about them.

It's kinda like the "Console Wars of 2013" except it doesn't matter who wins; both Microsoft and Sony win because you're spending hundred of dollars on something you don't really need, and when someone criticizes it, you somehow feel offended and must defend it, when Microsoft and Sony don't give a sweet f^ck about you, only your money. It's just like A&F and this shirt; they don't give a crap about Swifties, only their money and what they want to buy. They don't care who going to the store as long as they buy something. At least the girl with the YouTube video was a little aware of that, stating she still wouldn't want to shop there even after they took down the shirt.
And as for Abercrombie, don't be a pussy by taking down a certain shirt just because a few hundred thousand people don't like it. They're just Taylor Swift's fans; they don't really matter. And for every Taylor Swift fan, there's a Taylor Swift hater, and there are a lot more Taylor Swift haters out there who get the joke more and its value and would have loved to buy it. If only I were a woman.
Well, if you have a comment, send them down to to the comments section. And if you're a Swiftie, unload right now. I need the exposure. Until next time.

Kimye Goes "North" for Baby's Stupid Name

Guttentag, everyone.

Last week, Kim Kardashian and Kanye West gave birth to their first (and probably last) child, a girl, a month early. A;though she is healthy, she was born premature from labor pains Kim has suffered during the pregnancy. Now more of the baby's information has been released, mainly her name. As reported by TMZ, the name Kim and Kanye have given for the baby girl is...get ready...here it comes...her name is...North. That's right. The girl's name is North.

What. The. Serious. F#!&?

Of all the names they could've have given the baby, why did they gave her North? What kind of "intellectual" thoughts have been running in Kanye's head that would lead to that name? And what thoughts were in Kim's head at all? I'm sorry, but this is a stupid name baby, let alone for a girl. Even if it were a boy, it's still stupid. This name might seem creative for some, but not for me. And I've seen girls name more ghetto than this, and even they make sense.

What makes this rumor stem is from those jokes from Late-Night talk show hosts and people on Twitter about what name the baby might have. Whether it starts with a K or a direction. They even made jokes about the girl's butt and how big it would be, coming from a mother with an ass as big as a Whopper and father who likes to chase said asses as big as a Whopper. And of course, as you have guessed, I really didn't care; I just laughed. But why am I talking about it anyway, you asked? Because I wanted to say how stupid this name is and that people who will actually comment and say that it's not and that I'm just "hating" on them are either in denial or looking for attention and are also stupid.

I'm hoping this isn't some kind of theme going on. My family has a theme of names that start with A, my name Andrew included. Names by the letter A are clever. Names by directions aren't that clever. But if you still want to go that direc--no--way, then a better name for sweet baby "North" should be "Easton". Yes, it's a direction name and it's still a girl, but at least it's a real name. The only way I'd find North is on a compass, street sign, or on a poster for "North by Northwest". Speaking of "North by Northwest", this tweet by BET was hilarious.

movie buffs will know how this relates to #kimye pic.twitter.com/D4l2XvDS7I

— BET (@BET) June 21, 2013

And if you want to add "North" into the mix, try "Easton North West", or even "Easton Northby North West" (Northby pronounced North-BEE or North-BY, whatever). Kim and Kanye, I hope this report isn't true and that "North" isn't the baby name. I rarely care about you two or the money-grabbing, attention-hungry, always-annoying Kardashian clan.


(By the way, Kim, congrats on your mom Kris' talk show coming in July. I wish her good luck...or not.)
But anyway, nice try Kimye (I really hate this mashed name), you two aren't fooling anyone. Especially me. Alright, I've had enough. If you like or hate the Kimye baby's name, or have any thoughts on it, please say so in the comments section below or on Twitter. I'll see ya later.

Man Threatens Sister's Life Because He Wants J. Cole to Notice Him

You know, guys, this also had my jaw dropping too. And yes, you read right. Some crazy nutcase wants to kill his own sister if rapper J. Cole didn't retweet a tweet of him buying a copy of Cole's album Born Sinner. Here's the deets:
The asshole named @_TzC_ thought it was a great idea to take a picture of himself holding a gun toward his little sister and tweet it with this caption (and I quote): "@JColeNC retweet me and I'll buy Born Sinner. Don't retweet me and I'll kill my lil sister ȁd" . That would seem like a genius idea, right? Of course...IF YOU'RE A F*CKING PSYCHOPATH!!!

I don't know if he thought this is funny or worth a look at, but this is just sick. To get attention by making a tweet stating you'll kill your relative if a famous celebrity didn't retweet it really makes you a scumbag. A dirty, sleazy, rotten, disgusting scumbag. Twitter would later delete his account for good.

J. Cole later did retweet the tweet with this tweet:

Understandably, he may have been shocked at seeing this and wanted the poor girl's life to be okay. If he could believe it. Also some people that the tweet was for getting attention and called out Cole for believing it and retweeting. One of the people, @ItsMrKingz, sent out this:

@JColeNC WHY WOULD YOU RT THIS DAMN FOOL POINTING A GUN AT A CHILD? LIKE THAT SH*T FUNNY?

— I. King (@ItsMrKingz) June 18, 2013

Hey, it's not J. Cole's fault some dumbass wanted to get noticed this way and it's not his fault that he was worried about the girl. Maybe he knew this was some asshat who wanted attention and wanted everyone to see it, or maybe not. You can't blame him for that. It should be the idiot's fault.
And if that wasn't enough, the moron would make these statements on Facebook:

And then he makes this:

"Um...Johnnie Cochran is DEAD, dumbass!", is what I said.

Anyway, he should be lucky he's not in prison for this crap. They should lock him up for 20+ years for assault and battery, attempted murder, endangering the welfare of a child, and simply being an idiot. As for the little girl, feel very sorry for her. To be related to...that is just wow. And J. Cole, don't fall for bullcrap. You're better than that.

MuchMusic Video Awards: My Review

Hi everybody.
I'm here with yet another awards show review. (Sigh) Although, this time I didn't didn't even notice it was going on. Seriously, I found out on Twitter by a someone I followed, and quickly went to the network's website to watch the livestream. Fortunately, I didn't miss much. I watched straight through and enjoyed the whole thing. The stage was beautiful, the performances were great, production was--Oh right, you're probably asking me "What the f@(# is the MuchMusic Video Awards?". If I could explain it to my brothers and sisters that night without a hitch, maybe I can do the same with you guys. I've been watching since 2010, so this show isn't too cryptic to me.

The MuchMusic Video Awards is an annual music video awards ceremony airing on MuchMusic, a music video network in Canada. It's equivalent to MTV, except that it airs more videos. The MMVAs are a very unique and unconventional awards show. Instead of being held at a big arena or multipurpose studio somewhere in the Great White North, it's instead held in a purpose-built stage in the parking lot at the network's headquarters on Queen Street in Toronto. And instead of having an actor or comedian signed to host, it has the network's "VJs" (a term you've probably haven't heard of in years) host along with some Top-40 chart artist they spend thousands of dollars to get their hands on to say "What's up, Canada?!". The "VJs" (them being Lauren Toyota and Scott Willats) also interview presenters. That's right, interview. The presenters promote whatever movie or TV show they're in (mostly Degrassi and Teen Wolf) and then they either present an award or introduce a performer. You can call it weird, I call it genius.


This years' show is hosted by K-pop icon in Korea/Pop misfit in North America, PSY. I barely could understand him, he slowed his speech which didn't work, and he barely did anything other than perform "Gangnam Style", a song no one ever can or will understand, unless they're Korean, and his second US single/newest K-pop single in his more than 10-year career, "Gentleman". In fact, the show started and ended with PSY performing those songs. But he was a good host, and he really did his best.

I'll get to the winners later on, but first my thoughts on the performances.


After PSY performed "Gangnam Style" for the 50th time, Down with Webster performed "Million to One". I never heard this song before tonight. So...this was a very peppy and futuristic-sounding song, so the performance had to be the same. And I loved every bit of it. The bounce, the boom, the tenacity. I loved everything about the song and the band and would love to hear from them anytime soon.


Next up was Classified (a band or group I never heard of) with "Inner Ninja". This was a nice indie-sounding song with David Myles giving guest vocals. What made me love this song was its inspiration and light-hearted humor that I found in the music video. This performance was nothing more and nothing less. I'm now a Classified fan no doubt.

Ed Sheeran hit up Queen Street performed "Lego House". As much as the title would imply, it's clearly not about Legos, it's about love and staying together throughout the pain and joy of as relationship. This is probably my favorite Ed Sheeran song because it's actually good song with amazing writing and production with a nice message. And in this performance, Ed shows his love for his fans by just being himself playing with a guitar. He needed nothing else, and I'm really okay with that.

After a few minutes, Armin van Buuren asked us to "go Dutch" with "This Is What It Feels Like". I admit, as boring as it was, it (and the song) was also pretty awesome and and had me bang my head a little. I stopped when I hit my head against a wall, but I couldn't stop dancing. The set peaked when the mosh pit sang the title chorus. That was cool. I'll be sure to listen to this for the rest of the Summer.


One of the biggest moments of the night involved host PSY proving he can dance to songs other than his own, especially when no one asked him to. The song in general: "Single Ladies" by Beyonce. Needless to say, I was...impressed. Until he said, "If you liked that, then you better put a ring on it". No. He. Did. Not. Still impressed, by less though.

Straight after, Serena Ryder (a nobody in the US, unless you watch BET for the season 6 promo of The Game) performed a medley of two songs--"What I Wouldn't Do" and "Stompa" (the latter the song used in the Game promo). The set was, from start to finish, awesome. The girl played electric guitar! The crowd was super! I have nothing to say, because I have no words to say!

Then, Avril Lavigne sang "Here's to Never Growing Up". The song is kinda like a song from Peter Pan, having fun, partying, and hanging with your friends. What can I say? Seriously, what? This woman has been in the game for over a decade, cranking out hits like Disney Channel cranks out TV shows with snarky smart-ass kids, paint-thin plots, annoying laugh-tracks and/or twins. I love this song and it's message. The performance was slow, but Avril and group of grunge-looking goons just being there, I sure wasn't bored.

After a turn around Queen Street (is that a TV on the roof??), Marianas Trench sang "Desperate Measures"...with no pants. This was weird, awkward and even questionable. Which is why I call this one of the best moments of the night. It was perfect, astounding, surprising, and definitely hilarious. Flipping, dancing, and underwear showing. This might not be the rage like last decade (thank God) so I'll enjoy it now.

After PSY posed with a green screen standee, calling it taking pictures with everyone in the mosh pit, Phillip Phillips took us home with..."Home". This one had me moving and grooving all over. This guy knows how to make a crowd happy. Home is my favorite song from my favorite male American Idol winner (yeah, I watch it. Shut up.). I can't wait for more from him.

And now for another of one of the biggest moments of the night, Demi Lovato performed a medley of "Give Your Heart a Break" and "Heart Attack". She didn't disappoint. She didn't have to sex up. She didn't have to talk about dicks and vags. AND NO ILLUMIN-something-or-other. All she did was sing and be herself. I love you, Demi.

The last performance was PSY with Gentleman. The co-hosts (and announcer) said it would be big and it was. It was huge, it was great, and it was magnificent (and i'm not talking about the female dancers' butts! PSY likes booty.) It ended in a cavalcade of dancing, a thunderstorm of streamers and and an inflatable frog-faced Asian in a nice suit. It was a great way to close what I call the best MuchMusic Video Awards ever.

And now the winners of this years' MMVAs. They will win a piece of metal. No seriously, the hardware is a piece of metal with the Much logo etched into it. Take a look.

Hilarious, huh? Here's the punchline: here's what it used to look like.

Okay, no near-funny business.

The winners are:
International Video of the Year – Artist - Demi Lovato - Heart Attack
International Video of the Year by a Canadian - Avril Lavigne - Here's to Never Growing Up
International Video of the Year – Group - Macklemore and Ryan Lewis featuring Wanz - Thrift Shop
Viral Video of the Year - Psy - Gangnam Style
Your Fave International Artist/Group - Taylor Swift
Pop Video of the Year - Marianas Trench - Desperate Measures
Rock Video of the Year - Serena Ryder - Stompa
Hip Hop Video of the Year - Drake - Started From the Bottom
Post-Production of the Year - Billy Talent - Surprise Surprise
Director of the Year - Director X – Drake - Started From the Bottom
Your Fave Artist/Group - Justin Bieber
Your Fave Video of the Year - Marianas Trench - Stutter
MuchFact Video of the Year - Classified f. David Myles - Inner Ninja
Dance Video of the Year - deadmau5 f. Chris James - The Veldt
Video of the Year - Classified ft. David Myles - Inner Ninja

And that's it for this year. I love everything about it. And I can't wait til next year. I hope you guys learned from me about this show. Remember: BET Awards Review Monday July 1!
See you later.

PlayStation 4; My Weak Gamer-Boy Review

Hello Gamers of the World!!

Today I'm going to talk about the PlayStation 4. You've seen what Microsoft released with the Xbox One and my review, so now today's the day I will give my thoughts oon the latest offering from Sony. Now in February, Sony revealed what will be in store for the PS4's release, including a


Now to the design. When first revealed, it was to large burst of applause at E3. But when first revealed to me, it was to a metaphorical question mark over my head and a confused look on my face. This looks a bit like the Xbox One, I thought. It even looks like the Playtation Plus its a little smaller than the Xbox One. Hell, it's even small than the PS3; if not the same size. And the new DualShock 4 looks like any other DualShock controller...except for the the wide flat thing in the middle. It makes one wonder if all the stuff under the hood can fit inside.

When the price of $399 was revealed, I thought it was to troll with Microsoft, which its XBO costs $100 more at $499. And then, the reveal that the PS4 can play used games. Again, I thought it was to troll Microsoft, but then I thought "That's not a bad idea." Because the Xbox One will limit used gaming to just one time for a friend or stranger or someone who actually bought a Xbox One in the first place is really a hassle and unfair to all gamers, Sony will give them a saving grace Basically half of everything every male on stage said is a slam on Microsoft and Xbox, but you can't blame them; they do have some good points. Including the used games thing, not signing into your PS4 every 24 hours, that it can record a cool moment of a game you're playing, downloading stuff while power is off, ect.

And when I read comments saying how the PS4 is going to blow the XBO out of the water (and that's putting it super mildly), I made my own comment on Deadline Hollywood (clearly not a website about games) that no matter what, it's still expensive, isn't worth a buying war with the XBO and that Sony's getting its superficial hopes up. But after reading the spec and features of this new console, I think that the Xbox One needs to watch its back come this holiday season. Because it has a target in its back.

Well, tell me what you think on Twitter (@MaroonMondays) and on the comments section. Is it better thank the Xbox One? Or is the Xbox One going to kill it cone the Holidays? Tell me.

And I'll see you later.

DirecTV Makes Victim of CO House Fire Pay Up

Hi everyone. And yes, you read right. DirecTV is in some bad PR today.

Get this: Jeremy Beach and his family lost their house and everything in it after a terrible fire in Colorado Spring last week. Fortunately, Beach, his wife, 5-year-old son, and their two dogs made it out of the fire in time. Unfortunately they left a rabbit (?) and two chickens (??) inside with the rest of the possessions. After that he made calls to various services asking to cancel their services because of the fire. And then he calls DirecTV to cancel his account when the telemarketer on the other line said--get this--that he still owes the company $400. The tab was for a satellite dish and two receivers that were destroyed in the fire. "I can't believe it", he said in an interview. "I had lost everything and they acted like they could care less." “I tried to explain that a couple hundred dollars is nothing to them but a lot to me,” he said. “I need that money. I can use it to buy diapers, clothes for my family.” Well, the family hopes the insurance from the fire will help pay for the bill.

Really DirecTV? REALLY?? This family lost everything in a fire that would've been caused by a dumbass or crazy kid with a match (which would be their fault on its own) and you have someone tell them they still owe you money. Let me tell you: the stuff they owe BURNED WITH EVERYTHING ELSE IN THEIR HOME! There is no way they could pay for it because they're busy collecting insurance from the house. It's not going to take an apology to stop the increasing pain they're going through...or the embarrassment you're going through right now. Apparently, a fire means as much to you as you ask another customer for HBO: You only give a damn when they say No. And this isn't the first time you ended up as the bad guy in situations like this. In June 2012, during the Waldo Canyon fire, when 347 homes in Mountain Shadows were destroyed, DirecTV still charged customers. I didn't know much about that, but I hope, if they had any, DirecTV deserved the backlash.

As for the family, I hope they have enough money from insurance to get a new home (yes even with furniture) and that they get a new start. I'm really sorry they lost their pets, items and valuable. And DirecTV, I'm sorry you didn't get an F from the Better Business Bureau...for sympathy.

Paris Jackson Attempted Suicide, Hospitalized; Scares Whole World

Hi everyone.

Well as you have been aware, Michael Jackson has three children: sons Prince & Blanket and daughter Paris. And he has did his best to keep those children away from the public eye and let them have a wonderful, happy, free life. Who wouldn't want Michael Jackson as a father? On second thought, don't answer. I still don't believe he did that. Anyway, fast forward years later, and after father Micheal's passing, the kids began to live a more normal life. They have gone to school, Yep they have made their father proud. And then one day this happened...

In the news for the past few days was this shocking discovery that Paris has attempted to commit suicide. It was unclear why she did this, until Wednesday, via TMZ, when it was revealed that she did this because of the pain of losing her superstar father and getting teased and verbally assaulted by classmates at her school, as well as in arguments with other members of the Jackson family. She was taken from the family compound in Calabasas, California, and to a nearby area hospital. As part of the suicide attempt, she reportedly OD'd on Motrin and cut herself in her wrists with a meat cleaver. There may have been signs of her planning this, from her posts on her Twitter account to videos on her YouTube channel. It was also been revealed that Paris has committed attempted suicide before, but this instance is more serious.

Now, I think I know her she feels. I have been bullied during my days in high school. I have tried to get over it but couldn't as these memories bring me pain and hardships. And i have tried to hide it as hard as I can. Even though I never, once in my life, thought of committing suicide, I understand what she's going going through. To be raised by her father, the biggest entertainer in the world, and then face the outside world head on after his death, really takes a toll on her, mentally, psychologically and emotionally. And all in the middle of a court case between her family and concert promoter AEG for the treatment of Michael during his ill-fated This Is It tour. But I hope she feels okay and gets the help she needs, and not to act like some other famous women turning into smoking, drinking, erratic b!tches getting by on being a smoking, drinking, erratic b!tch and mooching off of their (not-there) parents, (fake) friends and (sleazy) indie movie studios getting feet in the door. Dearest Paris, I know you've heard this many times before, but I hope you get help and live a wonderful life ahead of you. Sometimes people who stand out from the crowd would go on to do big things in the future. And by the looks of it, you might be one of them.

Now what do you think? Tell me in the comments section or on Twitter.

Until next time, see ya later.

CMT Music Awards: My Review

Howdy!



Last night, CMT gave us another amazing Music Awards. It took place in Nashville and was hosted by actress Kristen Bell and Country superstar Jason Aldean.

I'll get to the winners of the night a little later, but first the performances.


Starting off the night was host Jason performing with music icon Lenny Kravitz (!) performing his classic hit "American Woman". I had no words; I was blown away. The man can still perform. Even if all he does is walk around, he can perform. And Jason maade it all the more amazing. I may have to watch again to keep all the awesomeness.



Next was Miranda Lambert with "Mama's Broken Heart". This is the first time I ever heard the song, I loved it. She didn't much here, but who cares? She's hot, the song's hot, so the performance is hot. Then was newcomer Kacey Musgraves with "Blowin' Smoke". This is another song I've never heard of until last night. This a really nice song, but the performance was boring. Don't get me wrong, I like the song and find Kacey talented, but the performance nearly put me to sleep. If the song's tempo was up a little higher, which I would like even more, then the performance would be more exiting.


Darius Rucker performed "Wagon Wheel" with Lady Antebellum. He started in the aisles of the Bridgestone Arena and into the stage to rock the house. All of you pretty much know him as former frontman of Hootie & the Blowfish(sadly, not me), before making a successful solo move to country and hasn't looked baked since. This song is a huge example of this. Lady Antebellum's involvement only ups the ante.


Hunter Hayes and Luke Bryan performed their songs outside the BA because, according to Kristen Bell "this arena's not big enough for all this Riiiight. Anyway, Hunter performed "I Want Crazy". He performed liked the title implied; he rocked the house and shut it down. So did Luke Bryan when he performed "Crash My Party". As slow as this song is, I love the warm feeling Luke has going on here. He gives it to the audience and they give it right back to him. I just love that vibe she gives to him.


And now...(Sigh)...Taylor Swift. Oh wait, she's not performing a breakup song. Oh thank God. She performed "Red" in a red dress (a really hot one) on a red stage. Brilliant, huh? Anyway, I was actually prepared to press mute so I don't have to hear one of her many famous "I'm pissed about this boy so I'll sing about it" songs. It didn't happen this time. It was a pretty nice performance. Although I didn't see anything on stage besides Taylor herself that was a pretty darn good performance...that ended in Taylor pretending to look fierce. Keep pretending to be looking fierce, Taylor.


Later Lady Antebellum performed "Goodbye Town". It was minimalist, but they did a great job of keeping entertained. Then, another great group Little Big Town performed "The Chain". Twas such a classy song. That is until Keith Urban showed up and blew classy away and replaced it with awesome. Minutes later host Jason Aldean returned
(Again? in my Rocky voice) to sing "Night Train". Basically a song about getting down and getting it on...in a train...I think. Anyway, it was a great performance and yet another reason to love country even more. Oh and speaking of Jason, he and Kristen Bell did the usual host making jokes thing between performances. They weren't that funny. Really.


Carrie Underwood, a native of Oklahoma, performed a version of her hit "See You Again" to reflect the devastation and rebuilding of the state. At the end she was joined by a white-robed choir; needless to say, it was beautiful, touching, classy and absolutely amazing. This is certainly one of the best performances of the night. Almost had me to tears.


And finally, Florida Georgia Line perform their hit "Cruise". Even though I'm not much of a fan of this song, this performance made dance in my seat a little. And they made this performance great on their own...until Nelly showed up. That's right, folks, Nelly is a featured artist on a remix of "Cruise" so what better than for CMT to bring him to the show and to have him perform it with FGL and end the night with a bang? Nothing really. He came and shut it down and helped ended the set (and the show) in great fashion. Okay, I'm now a fan. Shut up.

And now the winners of this years' show. Although the nominees are cryptic to me, they are good songs to be nominated. Here are the well-deserved/lucky winners,

Video of the Year: Carrie Underwood – "Blown Away"
Duo Video of the Year: Florida Georgia Line – "Cruise"
Group Video of the Year: Lady Antebellum – "Downtown"
Male Video of the Year: Blake Shelton – "Sure Be Cool If You Did"
Female Video of the Year: Miranda Lambert – "Mama's Broken Heart"
Collaborative Video of the Year: Jason Aldean with Luke Bryan and Eric Church – "The Only Way I Know"
CMT Performance of the Year: Miranda Lambert – "Over You" from CMT Artists of the Year
Breakthrough Video of the Year: Florida Georgia Line – "Cruise"
Nationwide Insurance On Your Side Award: Hunter Hayes

I hope you enjoyed this review as I have enjoyed the show. See you at the end of this month for my review of the BET Awards. And see you next time for my next topic. See ya later.