New Fantastic Four Cast Revealed; So is the New YouTube

Ah comic book fans. They can be so possessive. Especially when it comes to adaptions of the the comics they love made for the silver screen. Such is the case when certain actors they don't want to star in the films will star in the films. This includes Ryan Reynolds as Hal Jordan in Green Lantern, and much recently, Ben Affleck as Bruce Wayne/Batman in the next Man of Superman movie. That move made comic book fans go crazy, spurred a huge backlash on Twitter.
Even I myself had a word to say about this.

So Ben Affleck is playing Batman in the next Superman movie. It's perfectly fine but I like the guy who played Adam West on Family Guy more.

— andrewpollard (@APollard36) August 23, 2013

A few months ago, there were rumors circulating around the Internet that a few certain actors would play the comic book Fab Four in a new, including Josh Gad, Miles Teller, and Michael B. Jordan as (wait-for-it) The Human Torch. (headshake)
Of course it was a rumor, but a stupid rumor nonetheless. But it's true.
So imagine their reactions when the cast of the new Fantastic Four film reboot was revealed yesterday.

Joining the cast are Kate Mara (who is brunette) playing Sue Storm/Invisible Woman (a blonde), Miles Teller (who looks 25) as Reed Richards/Mr. Fantastic (who looks 45), Michael B. Jordan (who is BLACK) as Johnny Storm/The Human Torch (obviously not black) and Jamie Bell (who is skinny) playing Ben Grimm/The Thing (who's husky as hell).

Of course the comic book world as a whole is outraged at the casting decision. If you go to comic book movie websites, and read the comments, you would definitely see how they're feeling about this. But you know what? I actually agree with them. There is no way these actors can play these roles without people making comments about this. Yes, that's every other movie, but this time's different. And they actually have a legitimate reason why. So, obviously, there are a few sticking points that show wrong with this story.

First, a black man playing a white character. Is there anything right with this? Who in the production staff thought this was a great idea in the first place? Was this based on a bet to see who could make the first illogical choice in pre-production? Did someone get drunk in the Casting Department while choosing actors? Did they cast a black dude as the Human Torch just because they want Comic Book Guy to rip them apart in a episode of The Simpsons?

Second, unless he finds a way to make it happen, there is no way Miles Teller can look the part of Reed Richards, let alone Mr. Fantastic. The dude is currently pushing 30, while Mr. Fantastic looks 50 with the gray sides in his hair. Maybe the producers are pushing for younger versions of the characters. I'm not sure; this seems really odd.

Third, see First. Unless they have a white mother and a black father, white Sue and black Johnny cannot LOOK related, let alone be related. No one will fall for that. At least they got it right casting a white actress as a white character. Not that Jessica Alba isn't talented, she's just not white.

And finally, look at Jamie. Now look at Thing. Now Jamie. Now Thing. If you sill don't get it, I think Jamie Bell is a little too skinny to have the role of the Thing, or even Ben Grimm. I'm not saying the actor should be fat, but come on.

Those are my reasons why I think these are bad choices to put together the cast. I don't think the casting department made the right decisions with this cast, but I'm okay with it. I will watch the film; I'm not a comic fanboy. If the cast does a really good, or even great job, I'll say I was wrong and will be okay with that. If the movie bombs, It was a stupid decision.


Speaking of stupid decisions, YouTube suddenly changed its layout on Wednesday. It originally looked most of the same, but with a three-lined "guide" icon on the left-hand side, which gets you to the channels you subscribed to the recent videos you watched, and other stuff, looking liked this.

Now it looks near-completely different. The guide is now on the top, now next to the YouTube logo. The homepage is wider than ever, with no ads on top. Looking like this.

Usually I ever like or get used to a new website layout if the company announces the change in advance. This time around, I guess I'll get used to this...I hate it. It looks ugly and baggy. It looks much less better than the last look.
They said it was to "make tweaking playlists easier and closely resemble its apps". Well, to me it looks like they screwed up on that. The desktop website and the mobile app still look completely different from each other. They don't need to look the same. In fact, i'm getting tired of seeing websites and mobile apps of one site look on and the same. It's fine if the app has something unique to it, but the looks better to me in some sense. But if the website begins to look like the app, I hate its guts.

The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon: First Night Review

Hi everyone, Andrew here.
The Tonight Show returned last night with a brand new set, brand new open, brand new band, brand new audience seating, brand new city, and a brand new host...Jimmy Fallon. So, I'm here to give my thoughts on Mr. Fallon's first night as host of the venerable, 60+-year icon of late-night talk. Here we go.

The intro music has a nice Motown sound and is a really classy touch to the Tonight Show mantra. And the open is wonderful, featuring all iconic sites of New York on display, telling people The Tonight Show is back in New York and here to stay. And it was directed by Spike Lee, another great plus.
(I honestly hoped Conan O'Brien would stay a long while as host too, but we all know how that turned out.)
Jimmy was nervous, but he was very good. But you would too, if you were hosting The Tonight Show for the first time. He pretty much knew all the pressure is on him, as new host of Tonight and handled it well. He made a very good move introducing himself to all that don't know him, where he's from, his childhood and age, and his family. Speaking of family, he brought his parents to the show, both looking wonderful. He should be so happy to have the both of them here. Also it was really sweet of him to mention the past hosts before him (Steve Allen, Jack Paar, Johnny Carson, Jay Leno, Conan O'Brien, and Jay Leno. [Yes he was mentioned twice, because he hosted twice. Refunds at the close icon.])

The SET:

I really loved the set. Lots of warm wood, nice textures, perfect lighting, and a cool curtain. I liked the panels on the sides of the curtain, which oddly remind me of...ice cream cones. It also has an awesome retro-looking desk with a beautiful backdrop of the New York City skyline all made and carved in Wood, which I loved the most.

And The Roots gets this really nice platform for all members to stand or sit. I find it much better than the setup at Late Night.

The first jokes were based on the bad turbulence that shrouded Tonight for the past few years, the Winter Olympics and...

Then came a bit where Jimmy mentions he previously had a bet with a friend that he couldn't host the show in the future. He won the bet, and won the cash from his friend--well, make that a lot of friends. Including Robert DeNiro (Jimmy's first guest on Late Night), his old SNL pals Tina Fey and Tracy Morgan, Lady Gaga, Seth Rogen, Kim Kardashian, former NY mayor and governor Rudy Giuliani, Joan Rivers (who was previously BANNED from Tonight after cheating on Johnny Carson with a Fox talk show and never spoke with him again), Lindsay Lohan, SJP, Mike Tyson and even STEPHEN COLBERT, who gave us this lovely welcoming message:

"Welcome to 11:30, BITCH!!"

The GUESTS:
After that, Jimmy's very first guest, Will Smith, joined him for a nice taped bit "The Evolution of Hip-Hop Dancing". My faves were "The Cabbage Patch" and "The Carlton".

Straight after, we got this REALLY great performance from first performer U2 with their new single "Invisible" at the top of Rockefeller Center. Jimmy said it would blow your pants off, and he was right. It was an awesome performance, with sweeping shots of the band, the crowd and the absolutely amazing sunset backdrop of the NY skyline in the background. Also I had this hope that, becase of the small space, no railings to keep them from the inevitable, and the big amount of people there, I feared that people would fall from the Top of the Rock, but fortunately that didn't happen. Otherwise, an amazing performance to start off the Fallon Tonight franchise.

Will later came back to talk to ol' Jim. He began with a heartwarming message to Mr. Fallon, that his warm and loving personality is one of the reasons major stars come to his show, ending with “People are coming [to The Tonight Show] because of your heart”. That was really sweet. He later talked about his family, their winter gatherings at the slopes skiing and snowboarding.
The term he used to describe Jada while snowboarding was hilarious.

SHAUN BLACK!

They later chatted about his daughter Willow, who had a hit song you may still try to for--"Whip My Hair", that was parodied by Jimmy in the style of Bob Dylan.

After the break, U2 came inside Studio 6B to talk with Jim about their new-found mainstream success after winning a Golden Globe and an Academy Award nomination. They later played an acoustic version the song that won them the Globe, "Ordinary Love" from Mandela: Long Walk to Freedom. It was already beautifully fantastic, until Bono summonsed The Roots to join in, and they immediately played as if they played from the start, adding onto the greatness.
The Roots are a brilliant band and still is a really great choice as house band for not only Tonight, but also Late Night as well. And that cannot be denied.


I never honestly thought that someone like Jimmy Fallon would host The Tonight Show (or even Late Night, for that matter). But hey, I was a kid then. I was more focused on School and the next new episode of Foster's. But now that I've seen him up close, I think he could take this hosting job all the way and then some. But now that he's not hosting Late Night anymore, he's in a different ballpark, he has some things to work with: Viewers, demographic, popularity and if he could still get eyeballs. And of course, not everyone loved it. And a lot people did watch out of curiousity. And they will have something to say, whether they loved it and will watch again or they hated it, thought the set looked bland, The Roots were terrible, and they expected him to reach Jay Leno- or even Johnny Carson-level humor (Really Dipshits??) I, however, watched to see what the set looked like. I loved it so much, I wish I could sleep in it--okay, and with it. Whatever. And of course, the very first show is always shaky; either it's really bad and unwatchable or it's pretty good but not great. This is pretty much expected (and should be). But Jimmy will do every well; he's had a very successful run hosting Late Night (yes, for 5 years, but things turned around REALLY quickly) and has been very popular during his stint on SNL, so I won't be surprised if he becomes more relaxed and calm as the stint continues.
Good Luck, Jimmy. You're gonna need it in the ever-expanding late-night field. You might be here 5, 9, 10, maybe even 12 years, but I know you'll do very well.

Favorite jokes:
"I'm Jimmy Fallon, and I'll be your host--for now."
"Welcome to 11:30, BITCH!!" -Stephen Colbert

Favorite part:
(Definitely) U2 performing "Ordinary Love".

Well thank you for joining me for the review, everyone. I'll see you later, or maybe when Seth Meyers debuts.

THAT would be an interesting review. Bye!

Stand Your Ground 2: The Loud Music Trial

**I must warn you all that this is a serious post. I apologize if any humor seeps through anyway.**

Well folks, the Floridian Judicial System has screwed Black America yet again. As you heard, another trial has been held in Florida in which the accused, a grown man, uses a gun to take the life of the victim, a teenaged black boy, for a very sad reason. This is the first trial in 10 months since--well, you know.


Here's the backstory:
On November 23, 2012, Michael Dunn, a software engineer, was visiting a convenience store in Jacksonville, Florida. This occurence happened after he and his fiance Rhonda Rouer attended his son's wedding. He parked next to an SUV with five occupants (four of them teenagers) inside, and loud music playing. While his companion went into the store, Dunn went up to the truck and asked the driver to lower the music volume. The driver complied and turned off the music.

After the accused thanked the boys for the nice deed, he walked to his car when, not long after, from the other car, he supposedly heard one of the occupants yelling curse-words and caucasian slang terms like "white boy" and "cracker" and the driver turn the music back on and to a higher volume level. After not having any of it, Dunn walks back to the vehicle and gets into an argument with one of the teens. Later, after seeing one teenager exit the vehicle (as he so claims), he grabs a pistol from his glove box and began firing, shooting the other car ten times. After the shooting, Rouer ran out of the store and Dunn high-tails it out of the parking lot, heading for a hotel.
One of the teenagers, 17-year-old Jordan Davis, was shot twice and killed in the altercation.

Fast forward about 3 months later, and Dunn is now in court, charged with first-degree murder and 4 other charges in the death of Davis, who didn't even reside from Jacksonville; he lived in Marietta, Georgia, and was vacationing in Jacksonville with his father while his mother was in Atlanta battling breast cancer. On Saturday, a jury deliberated on the case for 30 hours over 4 days and found Dunn guilty on three counts of attempted murder in the second degree and one other charge of firing a deadly missile into an occupied vehicle for the fatal shooting. The jury later declared a mistrial on the charge of first degree murder, after a deadlock on the charge. Dunn's sentencing on the four attempted murder charges is set for March 24. Dunn will face at least 60 combined years in prison, and could face life if convicted of the first-degree charge on retrial.

I would say "If that guy just ignored the loud music and just waited for his fiance to bring the food from the store, and then drive away, all of this would not have happened". But I won't, because it did happen.

This is a very sad case that really reminds us of the Trayvon Martin case, which has eerie resemblances to this trial. Some grown man is near a black teenager, the man goes up to the teenager, the man feels he's in danger and gets a gun, and shoots the teenager in cold blood. Although in this case, the man has a really stupid and piss-poor reason to kill a young man. He claimed he was in danger, when he really wasn't. That's the thing on two different sides of a coin. People think that black people (especially of the dark variety) are always looking and acting menacing and doing really bad things, usually taking this at face value, and have a reason to feel unsafe around them. While on the other side, they're not really wrong here. Some dark skinned blacks have been doing really bad things, and looking menacing while doing them. Flip the coin, and something will happen. This time, it's the former.
The guy should not have grabbed a gun, and kept the doors locked; that way he could've gotten away safe, along with his fiance. The claim he felt he "feared for his life" was really stupid and didn't add up with the evidence. And speaking of the evidence, there was more of that from him and not the teenager (or even his friends [for lack of a better term]). They never had a gun in their truck. I even began to think whether or not it was true he heard one of them shout expletives and called him a "cracker". I have never heard a black teenager call a white man a "cracker". I even think this probably never happened since the early 2000s. There are other slang terms they use against white people, though. "Cracker" probably isn't one of them.

I'm happy the man got convicted on four of the charges. Although, to be honest, I really don't mind that he didn't get the biggest charge against him--first degree murder. I'm not even one of those people who get angry and scowl at some certain things that affect the black community. He's still going to jail for a long time, and he deserves it. I have a feeling, though, that the black community will see this as a victory after the Gubbeorge Zubbimmubbermubban trubbial, where he only got a few smaller charges and yet is still walking. That wasn't fair, and he still shouldn't have gotten out of his car in the first place, and he's just a lying, no-good pussy and--sorry, relapse.
Anyway, this "Stand Your Ground Law" thing is a complete joke and should work only if there is an actual fight going on and you have an actual need to defend yourself, not just some bullshit that you just came up with in your head and went with. That way the culprit gets more jail time. I hope someday this is either looked into or abolished, because the more cases and trials that use it pop up, the more it becomes a joke to everyone but the judicial system in Florida...and the state police...and every other white man in the state.

My thoughts and prayers to the family of Jordan Davis.

Super Bowl XLVIII: The Top Ads

Because I worked so hard on a review for a really bad Super Bowl, I decided to just show you all five ads I liked very much during the commercial breaks.

#5 - RadioShack: The Phone Call
At first, I thought it was a so-so commercial, but gained on me on how RadioShack has still looked like 1983 in 2013, and finally changed its look, with the help of the defining stars of the 80s, like Hulk Hogan and ALF. Pretty awesome.


#4 - Chrysler: Bob Dylan
A brilliant use of how wonderful America is, with the horses and the cheerleaders and the wrapping flags around your body thing and...stuff. Among other things. Basically just about how their cars are built in America while everything we use doesn't. In a very intimate and wonderful pakage.


#3 - Volkswagen: Wings
VW is at it again. This time showing that when VW car reaches 100,000 miles, one of its German engineers grows wings, a modern take on "It's a Wonderful Life". Although the part I don't like is the part where two engineers are urinating; one pair of wings (or dick) is bigger than the other. That's creepy. The "rainbow butts" had me dying. Really weird, but super hilarious.


#2 - Cheerios: Gracie
The ad featuring the same family from with the cute little girl from "Just Checking", except this time the family grows by one (and a puppy). Such a very heartwarming ad. Oh, and that girl could have a nice career being Donald Trump.



#1 -TIE; Doritos: Time Machine & Budweiser: Puppy Love
These are, respectively, funniest and sweetest ads of the game, and therefore, to me, the best.
Doritos is always known for really stupid men and really mischievous children, and this ad features them both. The man falls for the boy's "Time Machine" that works on Doritos and thinks he's IN THE FUTURE when he sees an old man, thinking he's that boy. Hilarity ensued.

Also, this ad from Budweiser. They're know for very patriotic and/or heartwarming ads, and this has to be one of the most heartwarming ever. It features a golden retriever and a Clydesdale in a very cute friendship. That is, until the GR is adopted, breaking the bromance (or sismance; I'm not sure) until a few more Clydes spell it out to a famrer the and the GR's owner, then letting the two buddies stay together until the very end. If I could cry at this, I really would. Take a look.


Honorable Mentions:
Toyota Muppets
GoDaddy "I Quit"
Oikos Greek Yogurt "Full House" Reunion &
T-Mobile Tim Tebow

And there they are. My top 5 picks for the best ads of the Super Bowl. I hope you like them. I sure have more than the game.
See you later.

Super Bowl XLVIII: The Highlights

Hello football fans!!

I'm Andrew, and this is my review of the biggest (football) game of the year: SUPER BOWL XLVIII!!

Now last year was known as the game of the brothers and the blackout, in which, for the first time ever, the coaches of the competing teams, the 49ers and Ravens, were brothers--John and Jim Harbaugh--

and during the game, there was a blackout

(yes, a blackout) which lasted 34 minutes. This lasted to so many jokes for days,

And Beyonce was the Halftime Show performer
(maybe she caused the blackout, with all them damn lights.)

But this year is something special, because it's held at MetLife Stadium in Meadowlands, New Jersey (although some people actually think it's in New York. Where does New York have a major football stadium, outside of Buffalo?) and the first Super Bowl to be played in a cold wether city in an outdoor stadium. The Denver Broncos of the AFC faced off against the Seattle Seahawks of the NFC. This is also the Super Bowl with the biggest height of security in history, thanks to would-be terrorists, bomb threats and sex trafficking nearly hampering the safety of the playes, fans, coaches, performers, ect. This year has become this most talked-about year in recent memory...and yet, the most boring.

So are you ready for a recap? No? Well, too bad; fire up the worditinis and let's get it started!!


The game began with the ball actually going behind the Broncos and into the end zone. Then it goes back and forth between teams, starting with coin toss winner Seattle Seahawks and Denver Broncos. After a punch in by Marshawn Lynch for the Blue team to get a 2-point lead, the teams go back and forth and back and forth until someteam finally scored: and that was the Seahawks with a field goal to get the game going.

You know what from now on, I'll call the teams the Blonkos
(as in Rook Blonko)
and the Seasponges (you know, like SpongBob) mo make this boring ass post more exciting.
So here we go. As the game progresses, things start to pick up after when Percy Harman runs 30 yards to the end zone, although a flag was thrown. After another kick by the Seasponges for another field goal, #24 runs through the crowd to make the first touchdown of the game, making it 15-0. The game would pick up a little more when after a little while, the Blonkos would try to make an even game, they fail even more when Seasponge Malcolm Smith quickly catches the ball and swims him way to the end for the second straight TD for his school of flying cool. It's 22-0. It was at this point that the Blonkos, their fans the stadium attendees and the 111 million viewers who watched last night are in for a catastrophe of a game, led by the Seasponges and their stinging performance.

In the third quarter, it's the Seasponges dominating and destroying the Blonkos starting with Percy Haron running all the way to the EZ; just 12 SECONDS into the quarter. How awesome was that?? 29-0. Russell Wilson then makes a great throw to Lynch, 19 yards. After slips and slides, #15 Jermaine Kearse makes the run for yet another TD. The Blonkos finally score later in the quarter with 8 points.
You know what? I'll stop there to say that "to me, this was one of the worst Super Bowls EVER." Not in years, not in recent memory, or not even in decades; WORST. SUPER. BOWL. EV--AR. It's so boring and sad, I could turn on a--a test pattern or the old NBC Peacock "In Living Color" bumper or even the Chicago television Max Headroom incident
and either of these would be much better to watch than this. I'm very sorry folks; but even with the exciting highlights, the fact that the Blonk--I mean Broncos barely ever scored makes for bad television. Even if I wanted the Seaspo--Seahawks to win the game. The game ends with a score 43-8.

This was a bad Super Bowl and I'd be happy to forget it as fast as I can. even if I can try to forget Max Headroom too.
And I wish there was another blackout. Now, that would shake the game even more.

And that's my review. Like it? Thanks. Hate it? I understand.
See you next time.

Deport Justin Bieber?

Wow, you guys really take this thing with Justin Bieber really seriously. Now that Justin has screwed himself up in Cali and Miami, you people won't take this anymore. In fact, you had a petition signed to deport Bieber back to his home country in Canada. Since the petition reached 100,000+ signatures, the freaking WHITE HOUSE is forced to respond to it and figure out whether or not to kick him out of the country.

Wow. The fact that you say you don't care about Justin Bieber, yet you do anyway really makes me sad. You guys are feeding into his nonsense and regurgitating bullcrap. If this happens to be a gimmick, this will make Justin even more famous and more people will buy music and go to his concerts and do anything that involves his face and whatever.

IF Justin goes back to Canada, that doesn't mean he'll just go away. He'll do the EXACT same things he did in the past month: DUIs, drag races, drug possession, throwing eggs, beating the crap out of people, and acting downright stupid. And his own country has to deal with this dipstick. I know that's what you all wanted, but we've had Lindsay Lohan, Courtney Love, Madonna, Ke$ha, all the male actors from the 80s, and even Marilyn Monroe went through this behavior. The reason we haven't had them deported is because them are from this country and we all never had deportation on our mind. And in Marilyn's case, I don't think deportation even existed at the time.

People, we have taken this too far. We need to take this one day at a time and hope (and pray) that Justin new behavior (or phase, as this might be) dies down and Justin gets back to the studio and make music, because that's the only good thing about him he has left. To sing songs, sell products, and show barely-there sex appeal only female and gay male fans feed into and everyone else sees as man looking like a dyke with a crotch they don't see as male one.

Short/Long Music Review: Tennis Court & Team

Hello and welcome to the first Short/Long Music Review of 2014. I listen to a song, review it, and share it with you guys in a short, semi-neat package. Got it? Good. Now without further adu, let's get it started.

As you've heard, the ultimate success story came last year, when this artist became a huge success when he released an album independently with no label or no outside help and that album ultimately reached #2 on the US Billboard 200 chart and #1 on the Hip-Hop and Rap Album charts, with one song reaching the Billboard Hot 100 after a steady 16-week climb on the chart and later winning for Grammy Awards.

If you're just thinking that I'm talking about Macklemore and Ryan Lewis, then...yes, those aren't their songs, and that's not who I'm going to talk taking about here. Another person also has become a huge success story last year.

A little girl from New Zealand, Ella Yelich O'Connor, began a career by singing in various drama classes and and later won a talent show singing covers of songs by Duffy and Pixie Lott, with the father of a friend sending a video of the performance to several talent scouts with one of them, A&R scout Scott Maclachlan, signing her to Universal Records. After meeting writer and producer Joel Little, he and Ella would write three songs, one of them being a monster hit song about being poor, lower-class, middle-class, and even upper-middle-class with a dream to live life like a pop-star, rap-star--hell, any music star with sucess. At least that's what I think it is because all I hear is her mocking and destroying rap and pop stars on a nice minimalist beat. That song gave Ella a huge hit, massive media attention, and a Grammy Award.

But I've already talked about Royals. Today I give my review on two other Lorde songs; something you may have never heard of, unless you go to Pitchfork.
Two songs completely different from it that I think you'll like better, depending on your tastes...or social status.
It's "Tennis Court" and "Team" by Lorde.

Tennis Court is about Lorde's newfound fame and success after "Royals" and criticizes the high life rich people live. I hear "class clown", which I think she looks like in the video, and "beauty queen", but that means they're different from everyone else, and that they won't care about the rich. The beat is good, slower than Royals but really good, with this little beeping noise sounding like it's coming from Asteroid or Pong or whatever; an arcade game. One of the lyrics is "Don't you think that it's boring how people talk/Making smart with their words again, well I'm bored", meaning she hates how people talk about themselves and the things they want (but not need), and she wants to stand up to them and make her voice heard. Her own voice; her different voice; her "I hate rich life" voice.

This seems ironic, because Lorde is now living the high life along with the rest of them. I wonder what Lorde is like now that she's famous and rich and living the high life.

"Team" meanwhile features poor teenagers wishing for prosperity and happiness. While the rich and ritzy live high and mighty, the down and out are stuck in their small homes looking for work and to make end's meet, but find themselves close to friends and family in their small towns. Lorde hates being told what to do and wants to be her own self. (Does that sound familiar?) Here we don't know more than rich women wearing hundreds of jewels on throats; I don't know if it's their throats or some cut off of other people's heads, or whatever (shiver), so we're treated to what the normal people are and do for once, and that's a good thing. The beat here is better than Tennis Court; It's more sped up, more jaunty and more danceable than "Tennis Court" or even "Royals" I think I'll like this one better.


Hey, you know what?
I just noticed this. These songs and Royals are about Lorde's probable hatred of rich people and the life they all live. I believe this is probably a mission of hers. Make every other song a "I hate snobby, uppity, saditty, rich people and everything about them" song. It's like Taylor Swift, but just replace "Boys" with "People", and you've got Lorde's career on a pedestal. I really like that, though. Anyway, if she keeps doing this, people will get tired of her and go to the next hit sensation, whether a black girl who hates white people "because they is white", although she's near white people a lot; or a masked man writing electronic music, even though he hates it with a passion and even does video blogs about them; or a latino dude singing about his love of being a Scotsman, despite the fact that he has no clue about Scotland at all.

The point is, I really like these songs, and I really like Lorde as the now-quintessential anti-pop-star, but this might be a gimmick that might not last any longer, and people might get tired of it. But I hope she doesn't quit on this; we don't have many artists that DON'T talk about money and riches and cars and bitches, and does it in a very nice, near-indie, very awesome package. Keep it going, Lorde. Never stop.

And there they are: two songs I didn't have to review but I did (and wanted to), because-well-someone had to. But it's up to you if you want to listen. And it's also up to you like this girl (but you SHOULD), but if you don't, you've certainly made a wrong choice.
Next time I will be back to find another song to review (I hope it's good; who am I kidding, it's probably bad).
See you next time.

Beyonce's Grammys Performance Too Sexy? ...Yes

At the Grammys, last night, Beyonce opened the show with a steamy and provacative performance of "Drunk in Love". Some TV rights groups and parents blew a fuse. (Sigh)
I actually agree with the parents who said this. The performance aired at 8:00pm, where inappropriate or sexual content cannot air. And Beyonce's performance was indeed inappropriat and ESPECIALLY sexual to air at that time.

Although, to be fair, Beyonce didn't do much but walk around and move herself around on the chair--

maybe you all have a point about that.
Also, this is the Grammys. It's not family entertainment. It's for people 14 and older, and not for kids. Parents should be aware of that.

But you know what--uh--um--

well, uhh--

Alright. It was inappropriate. End of story. But of course, there was another inappropriate performance from Katy Pery, P!nk doing sexy acrobatics, and a bunch of gay people getting married on live television. But the most controversial was Beyonce. Everything else was all "Good Good".

SERFBUARD!

Grammys 2014: The Winners

Hi everyone.

As you heard, the Grammys Awards aired on Sunday. I gave my review, which is up as of now, but I noticeably left out what everyone cared for(well, not really): the actual awards that have been given out. So here they are as forgotten by me, Andrew!

Daft Punk were the big winners of this years' Grammys as they aired in no particular order (as in copied from Wikipedia):

Best New Artist - Lorde (safe choice, but she's very talented, so kinda deserved)
Record of the Year - Daft Punk - "Get Lucky" (Very catchy song, better than some other noms)
--Thomas Bangalter & Guy-Manuel De Homem-Christo, producers; Peter Franco, Mick Guzauski, Florian Lagatta & Daniel Lerner, engineers/mixers; Bob Ludwig, mastering engineer
Album of the Year- Random Access Memories–Daft Punk (Haven't heard any of them, so congrats.)
Song of the Year- Lorde-"Royals"
--(What a very nice victory for a song that's a big FU to rap and pop artists)
--Ella Yelich O'Connor & Joel Little, songwriters
Best New Artist- Macklemore & Ryan Lewis--(Very talented guys, maybe deserved)
Best Pop Solo Performance- Lorde -"Royals"
Best Pop Duo/Group Performance- Daft Punk featuring Pharrell Williams-"Get Lucky"
Best Pop Vocal Album- Unorthodox Jukebox–Bruno Mars
Best Pop Instrumental Album- Herb Alpert-"Steppin' Out"
Best Dance Recording- Zedd featuring Foxes-"Clarity"
--(I really don't like this song. Truly. But congrats.)
Best Dance/Electronica Album- Daft Punk-Random Access Memories
Best Traditional Pop Vocal Album- Michael Bublé-"To Be Loved"
Best R&B album- Alicia Keys-Girl on Fire--(The title song is really corny to me now.)
Best Traditional R&B Performance- "Please Come Home"—Gary Clark Jr.
Best R&B Song- Justin Timberlake-"Pusher Love Girl"--(It's an okay song.)
Best Rap/Sung Collaboration- Jay Z Featuring Justin Timberlake-"Holy Grail" —-(So boring)
—-James Fauntleroy, Jerome Harmon, Timothy Mosley & Justin Timberlake, songwriters
Best Rap Performance- Macklemore & Ryan Lewis-"Thrift Shop"--(Very good and catchy song. Well deserved. And Kendrick Lamar was robbed. He should've won at least one award. He's also very talented.)
Best Rock Performance- Imagine Dragons-"Radioactive"--(I'm beginning to dislike this song. Especially live. It's boring and tired.)
Best Alternative Music Album- Vampire Weekend-"Modern Vampires of the City"
Best Rock Album- Led Zeppelin -- "Celebration Day"
Best Country Song- Kacey Musgraves-"Merry Go 'Round"
--(Very talented girl. She's probably what Taylor Swift isn't.)
Best country album- Kacey Musgraves-Same Trailer Different Park
--(Has some nice songs. I think She'll do very well.)
Best Music Video- Justin Timberlake f. Jay Z-"Suit & Tie"
--(I think Capital Cities' "Safe and Sound" should have won. The vid has almost every visual format known to man and lets them mesh together perfectly. You have to see it to believe it. Way better than just Black & White. Also the song's great.)

There are more winners on the official Grammys website, and (obviously) Wikipedia.
Well thank you for reading, and thank you for reading the Grammy Awards review yesterday. 14 pageviews in the first 3 hours of its release. Wow!!
Thank you and see you next time.
Later!

Man Plans to Kill Rhino; Activists Plan to Kill HIM

Corey Knowlton was in hot water last week. What--you don't know who he is?? Well, if you don't, what's wrong with--I'm kidding. Even I don't know who he is. He's a hunter who enjoys killing animals for a living. On April during an auction held by the , Knowlton paid $350,000 for the chance to hunt an endangered African black rhinoceros. He did so successfully. After his announcement of this, many animals activists have made their disapproval, with several sending him death threats, and some even threatening to take his AND his family's lives. Knowlton has since hired around-the-clock private security after receiving the death threats.

(SIGH)

Now I'm not an animal lover, mostly because I eat meat. I really hate animal lovers, not because of their protection of animals (I'm pretty much cool with that), but because of the way they go about it. They act all high and mighty about how the animals are sacred species and that their lives shouldn't be tampered with, that they're perfect and special, that the world wouldn't be great without them and ect., ect., ect. But hey, from what I can tell from years of watching nature shows like National Geographic Explorer and My Gym Partner's a Monkey, it's that animals are not perfect and special--well, at least they don't act that way. They're not high and mighty, and we're basically just like animals, if evolution is to be believed. The fact that you want to kill one species by killing another makes you jerks and jackasses.

And to the specific group of people who want to send death threats and take the lives of Mr. Knowlton and his family, just to protect the life of one rhinoceros. I've got two words for you:

FUCK YOU!!!!!

Why in the name of God would you want to kill a man to save the life of an animal?! The human is just the same as a species as a rhino. They both have a face, legs, a nose an appitite, and a beating heart. And besides, a rhino will die from other things too, like starvation, diseases, famine and being killed (and eaten) by other animals.

I'm not condoning murder of any special species (humans included), bet he's a man and he can do whatever the sweet fuck he wants! You can't because you are weak, stupid and horrible. I hope you get trampled by a rhino you're trying to protect like an elephant trampling a peanut named Chuckles.

Oops, too soon. (Still not sorry)

The Downfall of Justin Bieber : UPDATED (a little)

Well someone is in the news this week, and it's someone I have not mentioned before. He's someone you know and loath (or love, depending on who you are) and on a big downfall since ever since his second (Under the Mistletoe is a Christmas album and doesn't count) album Believe. Also he's a topic I've sworn and promised to never talk about since this blog was created. But now, I have broken this promise because, dammit, Justin Bieber isn't a child anymore and needs a wake-up call!

Ever since Believe dropped, he's been on a crazy, twisted rollercoaster ride of a celebrity like this. For example, first he did a really lazy thing, having his bodyguards carry him up the Great Wall of China; only people in wheelchairs or walkers can't do that. Later April 2013, in the Netherlands, while visiting the Anne Frank House, he wrote, in the museum's guestbook, this:

"Truly inspiring to be able to come here. Anne was a great girl. Hopefully she would have been a belieber."

Stay classy, Drew. Of course he later got criticized for it, but wondering about Anne Frank being a Belieber is like wondering if Rosa Parks was a fan of Twilight, a Twi-Hard: it just won't happen.

And now the apex of it all: last Thursday night in Calabasas, CA, Justin was caught by his next-door neighbor Schwatz throwing eggs at his property including his door and walkway. The neighbor said there were at least 20 eggs thrown at his property.

Since then, he is now under an investigation into the matter, with the Los Angeles Police Department raiding his home Tuesday morning and arresting his good buddy Xavier "Lil' Za" Smith (who?) after drugs were found in the house belonging to him. Whether it's cocaine or not, he's still going to jail. As for Justin, he is a suspect in a vandalism investigation, with his damage to his neighbor's property exceeding $400. Meaning he has committed a felony.

UPDATE: And what can I tell ya ABOUT FELONIES? He has now been arrested for drunk driving, suspicion drug possession and DUI, and drag racing in Miami Beach, later resisting arrest. He did this after blowing tens of thousands of $1 bills at a local strip club the night before. He was sent to jail on $2500 bail (1,000 for resisting without violence, $1,000 for DUI and $500 for driving with an expired driver's license).

Thank God stupidity and horniness aren't viruses, or else he and his hyper-loud, scatterbrained fans would've infected us years ago.

Justin, this behavior NEEDS TO STOP. You're 19 years old (and about to turn 20 in March) yet you're acting like goddamn Bart Simpson! you're lazy, stupid, annoying, and downright pissing us all off. Just because you're a music star, doesn't mean you can anything you want, whenever you want. There are people in this world who appreciate hours of walking through one of the 7 wonders of the world, walking through the house of a Holocaust victim, and living in a nice, swanky, ritzy neigborhood without doing really f**king stupid things. None of things could ever justify who you are and what you do. Well, so does getting high, shoplifting, and killing someone; but you didn't do (2 of) these things, so you're not that stupid. But anyway, this all needs to stop. Your fans are defending you. The media is making a mockery of you. Hell, I'm actually wasting my time talking about you. Either truly retire from the music industry or continue making a damn fool of yourself. At least things can't worse. You could--um, kill someone, or--what the hell--just be like a rapper and bang a bunch a women, knock them up and deny the kids from the get-go. Although unlike the Mariah Yeager (who?) catastrophe, this would be real, raw and much worse.

U

So Justin, get your damn act together. I'm already beginning to hate you (outside your music, which is meh already) and you just continue to lower my standards. This isn't a plea for help; even the near scatterbrained fans of the Belieber hive are finding your acts stupid. So, just...okay?

Golden Globe Awards: My Review

Ahh, the Golden Globes, the loose-as-hell ceremony that I consider the drunk, fun-loving cousin of the Academy Awards. What I love about this is that unlike the Oscars, the humor isn't forced, the celebrities are being themselves for the most part, and it isn't boring me so much I might get a seizure. I love what I saw last night; Tina and Amy should host again next year, and the year after that and after that and after that, until people get tired of them, like sequels of Hollywood movies.

I'm gonna keep it short, so here are some highlights for me:
The thing I clearly hated about the show is actors walking across the auditorium to receive their award. It's not their fault the Hollywood Foreign Press Association foolishly put many of them in the back of the Beverly Hilton so they would be usurped by the bigger stars in front of the stage. Too bad, some A-listers didn't win.

The best joke of the night was at the beginning, when Tina Fey said "Gravity is nominated for best film. It's the story of how George Clooney would rather float away in space and die than spend one more minute with a woman his own age." Hahaha, it's funny 'cause it's TRUE!!

The worst joke of the night came from Brooklyn Nine-Nine creator Dan Goor: "Winning a Golden Globe is way better than saving a human life!" Yes, waiting an hour to see if you won an award and/or actually winning one is MUCH better than saving the life of--well, saving a life. Good one, Dan. Just be glad your show is about police officers saving lives and it won an award and leave it at that.

Melissa McCarthy was more drunk than funny on stage. I blame the media for hyping her up for being in so many comedy films, making her look like royalty. Even less funny than Jonah Hill not using a teleprompter to present a movie. At least he got it together with a hard copy paper.
I'd be Randy's father. I'd be creeped out by Jacqueline Bissett too. Diane Lane singing was nice. Unexpected and weird, but nice nonetheless.

One of the jokes also might have set off the live feed: "Like a supermodel's vagina, let's give a warm welcome to Leonardo DiCaprio". If there were any complaints, those people are pussies because they can't take a solid lewd joke. And it's Leo DiCaprio; gay men's penises will give him a warm welcome anytime.

There were much more highlights I would've put here, but I was too busy either laughing so hard or busy remembering the highlights I put here to put here.

This years' show was fantastic. Tina and Amy will host again, I'm sure. And the producers should change the format a little next year, maybe put on a 7-second delay all the way through, maybe make more time for the hosts, and-oh yeah- not make actors walk from the back of the room to get a damn Globe!!

WINNERS (in order of broadcast appearance):
Sup. Actress in a MP - Jennifer Lawrence (American Hustle)
(Great for a film that was released a month ago)
Sup. Actress - TV Series, Mini, or Movie Jaqueline Bissett (Dancing on the Edge)
(Best speech of the night just because she said "Shit". Bloody perfect!)
Mini-Series or TV Movie - Behind the Candelabra
Actress in a Mini-Series or TV Movie - Elisabeth Moss (Top of the Lake)
Actor in a TV Series - Drama - Bryan Cranston (Breaking Bad)
TV Drama Series - Breaking Bad (Anyone else "not expect" this?)
Original Score-Motion Picture - Alex Ebert (All is Lost)
Original Song-Motion Picture - "Ordinary Love"- (Mandela-Long Walk to Freedom)
Sup. Actor-TV Movie/Mini-Series Jon Voight - (Ray Donovan)
Actres in a Comedy/Musical - Amy Adams (American Hustle)
Actress in a TV Drama Series - Robin Wright (House of Cards)
Screenplay-Motion Picture - Spike Jonze (Her)
Actor in a Comedy/Musical - Andy Samberg (Brooklyn Nine-Nine)
Foreign Language Film - The Great Beauty/Italy
Sup. Actor in a MP - Jared Leto (Dallas Buyers Club)
Actor in a Mini/TVM - Michael Douglas (Behind the Candelabra)
Director-Motion Picture - Alfonso Cuaron (Gravity)
TV Series-Comedy - Brooklyn Nine-Nine
(A really good surprise; better than The Big Bang Theory in some aspects)
Actor in a Comedy - Leonardo DiCaprio (The Wolf of Wall Street)
(Great for another film released a month ago.)
Comedy/Musical Film - American Hustle
Actress in a MP, Drama - Cate Blanchett (Blue Jasmine)
Actor in a MP, Drama - Matthew McConaughey (Dallas Buyers Club)
Motion Picture - Drama - 12 Years a Slave
SPECIAL AWARD: Cecil B. DeMille Award - Woody Allen (Well deserved; his films are timeless)
My apologies if any winners did not appear on this list.

And that's it. Thank you for reading. I'll see you in March for the Academy Awards. See when Ellen Degeneres makes jokes about the nominees and other things, while somehow adding herself and her talk show into them, like she does any. other. time she appears TV. Wouldn't want to miss that.

Oh well. Good night!

People's Choice Awards: My Review

Hey everyone. The People's Choice Awards aired last night, but I didn't watch live. I had other things to do. So I watched from YouTube, thanks with the good graces from from someone who recorded and uploaded the whole thing, so I thank you dearly. So here are some highlights for me in a nutshell:

It seems like every time CBS airs this ceremony, it's just an excuse to give some of their shows recognition and tell people about them. And let Ellen Degeneres show up just to pick up an award for "Best Talk Show Host"; her record 14th!! I don't hate Ellen; I find her hilarious a lot. But it's time someone else won the award, but as long as she has a talk show (until she 79 for all I know), she just keep this award category under her belt (or fanny pack; whatever she makes her team make for her at abnormally large sizes). And Adam Sandler is only funny when he isn't trying to be.

Anyway, I always have this consternation like I have for the past few years. Some of the expectations were correct some of last years winners won, and it came to my anger. I don't know why I should be angry, but this is the People's Choice Awards. The people chose; specifically, anyone under 28 with a computer and cell phone, and not me. But how the awards were given and how everyone still acts so surprised makes me sick. I should be happy, at least, but I wasn't.

Also the hosts suck ass, especially the blonde. Seriously, Kat Dennings and Beth Behrs should stick to their day jobs (even though their day jobs also suck ass.) Although Beth was kinda good singing Wrecking Ball and Before She Cheats. She did something okay. So not much is different. It was boring, felt forced and I almost deeply regretted watching.
And yes, there will be people saying "If you didn't like it, you shouldn't have watched it."--well, something like that misspelled and messed up with numbers somewhere. But it was live, Sara Barreilles was performing and they're not here anyway, so what!

All of the the performers were great this year. But my favorite was OneRepublic, who really shut the place down with their performanc. Ryan Tedder really burnt his throat wailing on stage. And this is one of their best songs to dte for me, so that's great.

Here are this years' winners: My reaction is right next to some of them.

Favorite: Movies
Movie/Action Movie: Iron Man 3
Comedic: The Heat (It was pretty funny, Bu Sandra And Melissa were hilarious)
Dramatic: Gravity (Sandra owned popular cinema this year; one of the best dramas )
Actor: Johnny Depp (What movies have he been in this year I heard of?)
Actress; Sandra Bullock (She owned the show this year)
Dramatic Actor: Leonardo DiCaprio
Dramatic Actress: Sandra Bullock
Comedic Actor: Adam Sandler (He's only funny when he's not trying hard to be)
Comedic Actress: Sandra Bullock (Seriously!)
Action Star: Robert Downey Jr. (What did we think was gonna win?; This will explain the requests he made at the mic.)
Movie Duo: Sandra Bullock & George Clooney (Gravity)
Family Movie: Despicable Me 2
Horror Movie: Carrie
Thriller Movie: Now You See Me
Year End Movie: The Hunger Games: Catching Fire

TV
Network Comedy: The Big Bang Theory (I did expect this at all)
Network Drama: The Good Wife (Ohmigod YEEEESS!! This show rocks!; Seriously this show is really good)
Comedic Actor: Chris Colfer (He makes me laugh zero times)
Comedic Actress: Kaley Cuoco (She makes me blush a lot a times)
Dramatic Actor: Josh Charles
Dramatic Actress: Stana Katic
TV Crime Drama: Castle
Sci-Fi/Fantasy Show: Beauty & the Beast
Sci-Fi/Fantasy TV Actor: Ian Somerhalder
Sci-Fi/Fantasy TV Actress: Kristin Kreuk
Cable Comedy: Psych (I was shocked. No really.)
Cable Drama: The Walking Dead (I wasn't shocked there
Premium Cable Show: Homeland
Movie/Miniseries: American Horror Story
Cable TV Actress: Lucy Hale
TV Anti-Hero: Rick Grimes (The Walking Dead)
Bromance: Sam Winchester, Dean Winchester & Castiel (Supernatural))
Gal Pals: Rachel Berry & Santana Lopez (Glee)
On Screen Chemistry: Damon Salvatore & Elena Gilbert (The Vampire Diaries)
Hero: Norman Reedus (The Walking Dead)
New Comedy: (Super Fun Night)
New Drama: (Reign)
Actor In A New TV Series: Joseph Morgan
Actress In A New TV Series: Sarah Michelle Gellar
Streaming Series: (Orange Is the New Black)
Series We Miss Most: (Breaking Bad)
Daytime Host(s): Ellen DeGeneres (The Ellen DeGeneres Show) (See top, but still, someone else should win next year)
Late Night TS Host: Stephen Colbert (The Colbert Report)
New Talk Show Host: Queen Latifah (The Queen Latifah Show)
Competition TV Show: The Voice

I can't show the Music categories, because this is too much for me to bear.
It was a mixed bag shoe for me as always so we'll what goes on next year.

Thank you for reading; I'm so sorry I didn't give you more, but whatever. Good night.

Natasha Leggero "Offends" PH Veterans with SpaghettiOs Joke

Ahh New Years Eve: a time to celebrate another year gone, having fun with family and friends, and and mock veterans for not having basic bodily functions. Well that's what comedienne Natasha Leggero did in the form of a joke on TV on New Years' Eve.
On NBC's New Year's Eve with Carson Daly, Leggero, along with actor/comedian Anthony Anderson and actress Jane Lynch, was asked by Daly about how SpaghettiOs uses Veterans Day awareness to sell products and make profit.

Lynch joked that she was worried that SpaghettiOs is now considered pasta, while Leggero made this joke about United States veterans not having teeth to chew the "pasta".
Here's the video below...



(Oh no!! That she-witch!! She should be hangged!! WHATAN IDIOT!!)
First off, you may be wondering: who the hell is Natasha Leggero? Well, she's a comedienne best known from Comedy Central, and currently stars in the show Brickleberry (which I suggest not watching, unless you're into porn, mocking religion, redneck humor, and other tasteless crap. But season 1 is pretty good; check that out if you want to.)

Now I get the backlash she has received. I myself was pretty shocked by the video at first by reading the header, but when I watched this crappy video clip on YouTube, I could barely make out what anyone said.
(And the annotation on the top, made sense at first)

Of course you'd think I'd be pissed off and outrage about this, right?

Well...This should make me pissed off! I should be outraged! This make me angry!! THIS should make me FIND her and HANG HER!!! But, no, it really doesn't.
Why should we be offended? Because we all have someone in our lives who previously went to war and now don't have any teeth? Well, yes, that may be the case, but all she made was a joke. And seriously, veterans won't have teeth when they're old anyway. WE ALL won't have teeth when we're old. It's just what happens when we age, people.

It's a sad joke, yes, but she didn't make a joke about vets being blown up or killed. THAT would have been off-color, tasteless, idiotic and therefore unfunny. She made a joke about vets not having teeth and barely being able to chew food with gums or dentures. There are comedians out there who have made worse jokes about veterans and our society in general for years and all we do is shut up and laugh at them as if it was episode of All in the Family. Yet all you heard from her was "survivors of Pearl Harbor" and "food they can barely chew" and you're immediately up in arms. You all are acting like she made a funny about vets losing a leg, and then using a cane they can barely walk with, because the cane company is using Veterans' Day as a ploy to make a profit. Just like Anthony Anderson was acting like he was cracking up at the joke.

And if you're pissed off that I'm not at the same page with you about this subject then too bad. I'm not sorry about it. It's not a horrible joke. Calling a 9-year-old Oscar-nominated actress a cunt when she grows up is a horrible joke. Funny now, but still horrible in hindsight. Oh and she wasn't sorry about the vets joke thing either, when she posted this on her website:

I wish I could apologize, but do you really want another insincere apology that you know is just an attempt at damage control and not a real admission of guilt? Let me just try instead to be honest.
I'm not sorry. I don't think the amazing courage of American veterans and specifically those who survived Pearl Harbor is in any way diminished by a comedian making a joke about dentures on television. Do we really believe that the people who fought and defended our freedom against Nazis and the Axis powers will find a joke about SpaghettiO's too much to bear? Sorry, I have more respect for Veterans than to think their honor can be impugned by a glamorous, charming comedian in a fur hat.
That's not to say I don't think comedians are a problem in this country, they are a financial drain on the people who date them and talk far too much about themselves. I'm thrilled to see how passionate (death threats against a five foot tall woman are always the height of passion!) people are about our country and our Veterans. I am too. My own father lost his hearing in the Vietnam War so the issue is pretty close to me too. So rather than apologize, let me offer another perspective.
On the one hand you have me, making a joke about how old people can't chew tough foods very well.
On the other hand you have Veterans who receive inadequate care upon their return from active duty, rampant sexual assault against female soldiers, staggering rates of suicide, traumatic brain injury, PTSD, substance abuse and depression among soldiers and political gridlock that prevents these problems from getting solved quickly.
Where do you think your outrage and action would be better served, calling me a c--- or doing something about the above problems?
For those of you that are currently doing both: Kudos!
To our vets: I love you. I truly hope you know that.
To SpaghettiO's: Let's do lunch.
To the Elderly: Chew!
To [some guy named] @nealrscott: It's spelled Human Excrement not Increatment.
To those looking for an active way to address the above problems, do what I've decided to do instead of apologize: Make a donation to the Disabled American Veterans foundation.

Hah!! She made a burn against you, because you're unintelligent and lazy!! (Ahem)
Anyway, she did something really different and decided not to apologize, because we as a society don't take a comedian's apology as nothing more than crappy damage control. And she cares about veterans as much as the next guy. You don't see other comedians do something like this before. And you know no one accepts their apologies unless their name is Ellen DeGeneres or Taylor Swift. And the next time something on veterans comes up, and she makes a joke about them, she will NOT get a sympathy vote from me.

By the way, I'm sure nobody chews SpaghettiOs anymore. They just stick it their mouths, taste and swallow. Unless there's meatballs, because then you can chew them.

See you next time when you old pal Andrew tries to defend Jamie Kennedy being asked about how middle-class Americans are struggling financially, and turns it into a joke about how Black and Latino residents survive on Food Stamps. You'll burn for my reaction!!

Later!

Happy New Year

Hello everyone. I hope you're enjoying the last day of the year they call 2013.

It's Andrew once again for the last time this year. First off let me apologize for this very long hiatus. I've been though a few personal things in my life. And writer's block. It has been a while since I've made a post so I'll just take this in a personal route.

When I started this blog in December 2012, I never knew of what I got myself into. I thought I was going to quit as soon as I started. But I later learned that it turned out to be the best thing for me to involve a computer, a keyboard and my brain. It took a lot of hard work and internet bandwidth, but it got me something I'd never reach: 1000 pageviews in less than a year; more than I ever wanted. And some of my posts have gotten more than I ever thought as well. Some have 5 views, some have 13. Even a few of them have more than 20!! My segments Short/Long Music Review and My Reviews on major televised award ceremonies have also became a hit because of you guys, and I really thank you for that.

I have one thing to say and a group of people do that to: THANK YOU, All of YOU. Without your love and support, along with spreading the word to friends, you guys have brought this blog from underground to sensation. If it wasn't for you guys, my blog would've still been seen by only my family and a few friends, and even then they'd only check it out if they had nothing to do. And without this blog, I'd still have nothing to do but watch talk shows and masturbate (and I do a lot of one of them). I shouldn't have said that. Oh well.

So thank you guys for making this year, my first full year of working a blog, the best I've ever had. And I can't wait for what's in store in 2014, so I can talk about it...or talk sh!t about and have you guys read about it. So I hope you guys had a great summer, perfect Halloween, fantastic Thanksgiving, a very Merry Christmas and super amazing awesome(balls) Happy New Year. See ya later...in 2014.

Sincerely,

The Maroon Marauder
Andrew

SLMR: Heartbreaker and All That Matters

Today I've decided that, for--what the hell, let's get into this.

Aahh, Justin Bieber. As you all have known, this guy is currently on a maturity roller-coaster going from pretty-boy pop heartthrob
to cocky, daddy-mack pop-R&B panty-melter.
And apparently his music changed too, as seen by his recently-released single from his single-release campaign "Music Mondays". Hmm, seems catchy, doesn't it?

Let's start with what I thought was Bieber's first ever break-up songs after so many make-up ones, "Heartbreaker".

This was literally from Wikipedia when I was making this review:

Heartbreaker was released on October 7th because it was he's official date with Selena Gomez Heartbraker is for any one whos going through a heart break just as he was when he wrote the song

WOW. Thanks for the info, dumbass.

Well, it seems like for the sake of maturing his sound, it looks like he's going to the direction of Justin Timberlake, as it sound like here, especially during the chorus. I really like the beat; sounds very 90s. But the spoken word part sounds like a fail to me as Justin here tries to be like JT or Childish Gambino. Okay, in this song, Bieber is whinn--confessing that he feels that his lover is giving him the 3rd degree because she feels he isn't giving his all in their relationship. He wants her to feel the same way. Oh boo hoo, Justin Drew Bieber!! She is breaking up with you. You shouldn't try chasing after her. You gave it your best, but she wasn't buying that. Now leave her and go someplace else. It's not like she loved you anyway. Okay, I barely got what he's saying because he sounds like he's singing through a fan, so I'm standing by what I wrote.


I actually wanted to hate this song because of the nice and not-at-all foolish decisions good old Biebs has been doing for the past few years
>
but as soon as I heard it, I thought, hmm, this could be interesting. And interesting it was, as we head over to "All That Matters".

Okay, is this Justin Bieber or Jesse McCartney? I'm definitely hearing the latter with a touch of Drake, or vise versa. Okay, I really like the beat. Nice mix of pop, R&B, and a little hint of hip-hop inside. It "Matters", Justin tells a hope-to-be-future lover that she is the only thing that matters to him...and that's it. Nothing else does. Like food, water, heat, music, hearing, a comb, or of course, anyone else. At first that's what I thought it was about...until I watched the lyric video, as I barely gone through the song proper. It's about cheating on his lover with some other girl, I think. Yikes! Probably the other girl was the girl in Heartbreaker. While I like the music, I certainly hate the words. It sounds like Bieber's trying so hard to be Ginuwine, Usher and Chris Brown, but sounds mediocre.

Oh, also there's some really corny lines such as "What's a King bed without a Queen" and "There ain't no I in Team". Ugh. I've never heard Lil Wayne say any lines more cornier than that. Well, if he makes more songs like this, he could become the next Ginuwine or Usher or Keith Sweat or, God forbid, Chris Brown. Sweet God Justin, choose wisely.

Okay I admit, I can't make out what the hell Justin's saying. This is the first time I've ever been stumped making this review; I've never tried so hard to hear and understand what an artist said because everyone else spoke clearly. Even Justin himself sang clearly in his older songs. If he wants be make more sensual songs about taking it to the next level, at least stand in front of the microphone and scream at it, then wait for the results.

And there they are: two songs I didn't have to review but I did, because-well-someone had to. But it's up to you if you want to listen. And it's also up to you like this guy, but if you don't, you've certainly made better life choices than I have.
Next time I will be back to find another song to review (I hope it's good; who am I kidding, it's probably bad).
See you next time.

SLMR: Wrecking Ball & Royals

Welcome to Short/Long Music Review, where I find songs (I either love or hate) to review them in a short review that took a long time to review.


Before I got started on this edition, I would like to apologize for this short hiatus for the past few weeks. The reason? Well, I live with my parents. You can connect the dots on that one.

And now, on with the show. Today I'm reviewing a song by...her.

Riley Lycrus...sorry. Miley Cyrus. The all-mighty twerker of Twerkeessee. Since her image refresh, I've cut off all constant use of radio, MTV, Vevo, YouTube, SNL, Spaghetti-Os, French Fries, bathrooms, parties, looking at city skylines, and starting Monday, the Today Show, but since I have you guys, I decided to dip into the Miley pool of turnt up and un-censorship to bring you all my review of her latest single Wrecking Ball.
Also, I will be reviewing a song I haven't ever heard of until...watching Good Morning America on Friday. I should stop doing that. It's by a person I've never heard of until now named Lorde (w...not today.). It's a song that has been called the anti-thesis of partying, sex, drugs, twerking and anything else in pop music, rap music, and...basically music at all these days. It's called Royals.

Let's start with Wrecking Ball.

Wrecking Ball continues Miley Cyrus' big transformation from popular kid song singer to white trash hip hop impersonator...I'm sorry, I don't hate Miley Cyrus. I really like We Can't Stop and I see her image change as fakery just to help skyrocket record sales and popularity, and that's a smart thing for her. But I can't help making jokes about her looking like the richest-looking slut in the world. Instead this song is not about that, it's about being in love and the consequence you suffer in the hands of an uncooperative lover. In this case, it's Miley and her ex-fiancée Liam Hemsworth, who is the basis of the song. I know it seems crazy, but this song is actually (and obviously) tamer and realer than We Can't Stop, despite the fact that I would think that, in the video, Miley looks like some crazy-ass broad who either can't love or loves too much, like Taylor Swift. (Yeah, I went there. SUE ME.) Anyway, this is cemented (heh, pun) in the music video that had everyone talking (and mocking) ever since the vid was released last month.

Here it is.

And if you don't like that, here is the director's cut, which shows just Miley singing teary eyed. I find this much better than the original.


Speaking of the video, she's vulnerable and open and--and she wants to feel free--and--uh--okay, I was busy staring at her naked and riding the wrecking ball and liking the sledgehammer, and thinking that sledgehammer was my sledgehammer. But the vulnerable and open part, that's true. She did feel that way after ending her relationship with Hemsworth, which is what puts the video together. Ever since then, It has spun into countless parodies that include teary eyes, licking sledgehammers, broken cement walls and (yes) wrecking balls. It even garnered attention from as the video reminiscent of the video of Sinead O'Connor's song "Nothing Compares 2 U". The similarities are striking.

Yes, it seems like easy porn, but this is nothing compared to this. There is a video much worse than Wrecking Ball. Much worse that there is much more nudity and sex in it. It's called Pour It Up by Rihanna. And no one said anything about this.

And there it is: one song that wrecks the competition and becomes a surprise hit--wait. Oh yes I forgot something; the other song. The song that knocked "Wrecking Ball" off the top of the charts. It's--uh, oh yeah--Royals by Lorde.

Now to be honest, I have never listened to this song. Never. Since I don't listen to the radio anymore (and will probably be destroyed in 10-15 years, I think), I never gotten the heads up on this until watching ABC World News Now one late night with the anchors gushing about this song, and that she would perform it on GMA. That got me wondering: Why do I stay up at night and Who is Lorde? Well If you know Gotye, then you know what I mean, so I don't have to type it. Lorde, real name Ella Yelich O'Connor, is from New Zealand and has been in the business since she was 12, and has been praised in her home country for her near-unheard of sound, and compared her to Adele, Florence + the Machine and Lana Del Rey. Here's a taste of her sound in Royals.


So...wait, this isn't it. I never expected this to be yet another party pop song about drinking, sex, drinking some more, driving in expensive cars, smoking exotic drugs like Molly and Reefer and living the life of kings. And I really didn't expect this to top the Billboard Hot 100. And for that I say, THNAK GOD ALMIGHTY!! HALELUJAH!! Finally, a song that doesn't include the all of the above. It includes the opposite; telling you that you will never live the life of luxury, and you will stay broke, living off the paychecks you get from working at Wal-Mart and eating the Hungry-Mans you binge on while watching the cable you steal from your neighbor's house. From that you can tell that I hate these types of songs, and wish for a song to be nothing like that; and here it is. It sounds like rap, but it's fortunately nothing but. Some of the lyrics do confuse me like "I cut my teeth on wedding rings/In the movies". I've never met nor heard of someone doing that whether in movies of in real life.
As for the MV, it's just someone doing normal things that a typical person of average wealth of prosperity would do, like waking up, taking a shower, eating cereal, cutting hair, laying on a street, watching your mouth bleed, ect. It kind of represents what many others don't: Real human life that isn't a fairy tale dream come true. It's rare these days that there are music and videos about this subject, so let's hope Lorde makes more music this and just not be a sex freak. That goes for Miley Cyrus too, as if it isn't too late.

And there they are: two songs I didn't have to review but I did, because-well-someone had to. But it's up to you if you want to listen. And next time I will be back to find another song to review (I hope it's good; who am I kidding, it's probably bad).
See you next time.

CMA Awards Nominations

Why is she still nominated? She's not even country anymore!--

Oh sorry. Hi, everyone. Welcome to the reason I'm still relevant, Maroon Mondays Award Show Reviews. Today the Country Music Association released nominations to this years' CMA Awards, the largest country music awards ceremony
in the UNIVERSE!!!
(Ahem)
Well, at least in North America.

As you know, I am into country music (well, at least not as much as pop or hip-hop, sadly) but I do enjoy the awards show where I can watch the big artists (and Taylor Swift) perform their latest hits and battle against each other in the categories that make up the nominations (And in Taylor's case, just show up looking pretty, sing a song that sounds country enough, and you're automatically nominated).

So here they are, in their big, wonderful glory, the nominations to this years' CMA Awards:

Vocal Duo of the Year:
Big and Rich
Florida Georgia Line
Love and Theft
Sugarland
The Civil Wars
Thompson Square

Female Vocalist:
Kelly Clarkson (Not really a Country singer either)
Kacey Musgraves
Taylor Swift (See?)
Carrie Underwood

New Artist:
Lee Brice
Brett Eldridge
Florida Georgia Line
Kip Moore
Kacey Musgraves

Male Vocalist:
Jason Aldean
Luke Bryan
Eric Church
Blake Shelton
Keith Urban

Entertainer of the Year"
Jason Aldean
Luke Bryant
Blake Shelton
George Strait (A surprise nom; I never heard of him before Drake's HYFR)
Taylor Swift (Another surprise; as she's not a country artist)

Well, that's it. Who will win it all? Who will will perform? Who will not show up in a hat? Find out when the CMA Awards air November 6 on ABC.
But, dear God, I hope it's not Taylor Swift. Hate all you want, TS fans, but she doesn't deserve any nom, and definitely doesn't deserve any awards. She's a pop artist now, and I have never ever (no pun intended) heard any song from her that sounds like country; just listen to most of Speak Now and ALL of Red. It's all right there.

So, see you in November?