Saturday Night Live 40 Review: Sarah Silverman & Maroon 5

Welcome back to my Review catch-up of SNL 40.
After such a great start to the season last week, I couldn't wait to see who would continue the wave of excitement, awesome and hilarious.

Then I saw the title card for the second show and thought..."Ehh, okay?".
I have heard of Sarah Silverman before, especially with her old Comedy Central show "The Sarah Silverman Programme", but I wasn't completely sold on her humor. It was childish and immature, even for a female comedian. So looking back, I at least thought I could adjust my standards (coming from a guy who found "Imma butter them biscuits and flap them jacks" & "CRACK-CRACK-CRACK" gut-busting) so I could watch it and enjoy it as much as the last episode.
Well, let's check it out.

(Some of the sketches do not have a clip on YT or Yahoo, so here is the full episode from Hulu below with the dress rehearsal version used instead of those of the live show)

The episode begins with the Cold Open in the form of Steve Croft's (Beck Bennett) "interview" of President Obama (Jay Pharaoh) on CBS' 60 Minutes. Obama talked about ISIS and terrorists spending their days on the Internet, mostly on Twitter. For once, this political CO was hilarious! The responses Obama made were really good and the use of Twitter tweets was genius! (and on a side note, I wondered how Bennett quickly went from the green screen used for the 60 Minutes set to the White House interview set that quickly, but I won't get into that.)


After the usual, first-time host Sarah made her first appearance on SNL since 1993, when she was a featured cast member, but was fired after that one season. During her monologue, she also mentions that some jokes she wrote got censored, which was hilarious.
She then grabs a mic, goes to the audience and sit on the lap of a female member named Lindsay (that's the spelling I'll use here). She tells Lindsay some wonderful things about her, and then gives the mic to Lindsay, asking her to say good things about her. This was also hilarious, especially when she threw it to Lindsay.
My favorite part of the Mono was when Sarah took questions from the audience. And by audience I mean her when she was usually planted in the audience during her stint as a featured member. What makes it genius is using the old clips unedited and melded them into it, as if she's being asked by herself. That was just perfect.
This Monologue really funny and enjoyable.

The Ebola in Our Everything Pre-Tape
Straight after was a pre-taped sketch spoofing the hit teen film adaption of the hit teen novel, "The Fault in Our Stars". But instead of cancer, the beautiful lady here has Ebola.

Okay, the fact that the show was spoofing the film was funny enough, but taking the very-recent Ebola outbreak and using that as the twist of the pre-tape was genius. Silverman and Taran Killam made it work as the lady looking for love while battling the somehow-not-airborne disease and the guy who does love her but is trying to get away from her as possible. Kenan Thompson also did a great job as Terrance Howard (the voice works to his advantage).

Heaven/Joan Rivers
The Sketch After the Monologue takes place in Heaven as some of the most influential figures in history (at least some that the producers can find for resemblance with the cast), Eartha Kitt (Sasheer Zamata) as hostess, celebrate as another influential figure joins them in spirit. Her name: Joan Rivers (Sarah). Ms. Rivers then proceeds to roast on the figures joining her on the celestral stage: Richard Pryor (Pharaoh), Steve Jobs (Kyle Mooney?; couldn't tell), Ava Gardner (Cecily Strong), Benjamin Franklin (Bobby Moynihan), Freddie Mercury (Adam Levine, frontman of musical guest Maroon 5 and unfortunate previous host) and Lucille Ball (Kate McKinnon).

This sketch was a wonderful tribute to Ms. Rivers, who was the comedienne who paved the way for other comediennes to be who and where they are today. I will say that this sketch was funny, and would've been hilarious had Silverman not flub some of her lines. I did think this intentional because Rivers did flub lines sometimes, but I wasn't very sure. And of all the people who that did talk in this sketch, why did it have to be Mercury (Levine)? The impression was terrible, the slip-in of a line from one of Queen's songs wasn't needed and Levine only remotely looks like him. The plus here All in all, beautiful.

Whites Pre-Tape
Later on, another pre-tape; this time about...White people.

I didn't know why this exists, but it does. Even though I'm black, I did find it hilarious, more because of how awkwardly accurate it was; that the White race will no longer be the dominate race in America in the next few decades. The first time I saw this, I was weirded out that a pre-tape like this was made. But now I get it; and I can laugh at it. Especially at how nonchalant and happy they are.

After this, a skit about "Forgotten TV Gems", TV shows that no one watched and have been discovered today and brought to us by host Reese De'What (Kenan, of course). The show reviewed is "Supportive Women"

There were a few good laughs here and there, but it wasn't the best for me. Honestly, if they want to talk about "Forgotten TV Gems", they should take a look at NBC for a bit. (Hey-O!)

River Cruise
Next, on a steamboat cruise, passengers are treated to the performance of a "lunchtime" (no, not a typo; the guy really said that). The host (Kenan) introduces the crowd to Tina Turner impersonators (Silverman, SaZam and CecStrong). During their performance of "Proud Mary", their reveal some embarrassing moments previously in their lives. It's not pretty.
No, seriously. It's really not a pretty sketch. I was bored throughout the whole thing, and the jokes were really flat. A few were hits, but I was being generous here, because this one may have been the worst of the bunch, especially days after the show aired. I watched a report on Inside Edition that reveals that the writers and producers may have stolen ideas from a similar sketch by legendary comedy troupe The Groundlings. Ian Gary, a writer for the troupe, claims that the show swiped elements from a sketch they did not too long during the summer. Including wigs, costumes and concept (Tina Turner impersonators recount their pasts and how they became Tina Turner impersonators). But the jokes are different. Here's a quote from an article on The Hollywood Reporter's website:

"...over the years I have seen MANY, MANY sketches flat out stolen from my friends by Saturday Night Live. Nearly verbatim. Word for word... And everyone in our community goes 'Oh man. That sucks.' and nobody says anything because I guess SNL is still some dream for some people or they don't want to get involved, or a million other reasonable things that stop people from standing up for each other when things are blatantly wrong. This is fucked up. This is stupid. And we have the means to make people aware of blatant rip offs of other peoples material. It doesn't need to be a witch hunt. It doesn't need to be pointing fingers, assigning blame, or taking sides. But a simple case of what's right and wrong."

Here's the video of the Groundlings's sketch (starring Kimberly Condict and Vanessa Ragaland) for comparison: Wow. As much as I wanna elicit sympathy for the Groundlings, because the sketch was stolen, I will say that at least SNL improved on the concept, because that was bad. Really bad. I know the singing voices were intentional, but the slow music made it brain-burning boring. So...at least they could sing.

Home From Vacation
At least this next skit was original (I hope) and (I swear). A woman (Sarah) has come home from Amsterdam and reveals some shocking news to her brother (TKill) that, while there, she met a guy and cheated on her fiance Jeff (Moyni). [ouch] What makes this painful, is that Jeff is in the back seat, waiting to propose marriage to her. [ouch] Jeff is understandably pissed, and will continue to be now that a radio report (voiced by Kenan) gives the three news that after going to or coming from JFK will be bumper-to-bumper traffic for miles ahead, leaving them stuck for hours. [ouch] Then her parents (Kate Mc and Beck Benn) come from behind, hoping to celebrate a new marriage [OUCH], and Adam Levine also pops out, planning to sing "She Will Be Loved". [OUCH] So now, -- is left in her own conundrum, horrified and humiliated that the man she loves now knows she's a cheater. Okay, this was bitingly hilarious. How this was crafted together and executed made it well-done. This is my favorite of the night.

Vitamix
After that, a spoof on the informercial on kitchen appliances; this one a high-powed blender. The owner (Nessa B.) talks with her friend (Sarah) about how it works, and the amazed aquaintance then asks how much it costs. The woman tries to evade the cost topic to mention the blend options speeds and gets sidelined by the friend every time. She then says some out-of-left-field shit about her friend's income. A spat ensues. This sketch really puzzles me; not that it was terrible, but that this show is mostly humor, not melodrama. And this skit happens to be melodrama. It really grabbed me and almost made me feel sorry for the friend and see the blender owner as a bitch. Then the ending came in, and made me remember that it's a comedy show. It's not a bad sketch, but it wasn't great either.

This time around, the musical guest is Maroon 5. The partial namesake of the blog returned to the SNL music stage for the fifth time. The set-up (many strobe lights grouped around a huge V [named for their fifth album Five] [Why it isn't pronounced V like the roman numeral puzzles me.]) looked awesome as hell. The songs they performed were not. How they performed them, however, were. First up, "Animals". As you remember, I named this song as my pick for the third Worst Pop/Indie Song of 2014. But the performance of the song was...admittedly great. Especially at the end. The energy from Levine and the 6 guys who are also members of the band that still probably play, give off a vibe that can touch you and--no, that's sick. They had that energy you can feel--ew. Well, they just had that energy. Their second performance is "Maps". I was surprised when I realized that the song I liked more than Animals had a less than better performance than the former song. It was good, but somehow I like "Animals" better. Don't get me wrong, I still hate that song, but that performance was better. Overall, Maroon 5 did great for their fifth performance.


Update Time:
Part 1:

Part 2:


Well, Jost & Che have gotten better. While Che has gotten his act together and gotten more comfortable in his role, Jost, however, is still the same. He's slow, boring and has a blank stare that'll either put you to sleep or put you to death.

Kenan makes an appearance as Reverend Al Sharpton, discussing how African Americans believe that President Obama isn't protected well enough by the Secret Service. This part dragged on a bit, but Kenan did good as Sharpton. He kept it up and made it watchable to not bore me. Although the joke about mispronouncing words like MSNBC wore thin. Really thin.

The next segment involving Jost & Che asking each other which words they can't say, like Bae (stupid ass word!), toodle-loo (unless you have a death wish), In Da Club (which makes you look like a damn fool), and "Thank You for Your Help, Officer" was hilarious. It did give Jost more of a nicer vibe when interacting together.

The final segment featured Kate Mc & Silverman as a female music duo named Garage & Her. (And I don't give a damn what the true enunciation is, Garage; it ain't funny) They are here responding to news that Marvel has created a new female version of superhero Thor, so they sing a song about it about female identity and appreciation, which is basically saying that some things are a woman. The song was funny and sweet, and could be a good song to play to show that women are just important in the world. Sorta.
And with that from now on, my thoughts on Update will be shorter to something like "Jost is still boring me" and "Che is not", because why am I wasting my time with this; it's the same opinion over and over again.

Best Sketches:
Heaven/Joan Rivers
Home from Vacation
Vitamix
Whites
honorable mentions
Ebola in Our Everything
Obama/60 Minutes
Worst Sketches:
Forgotten TV Gems
River Cruise

So this was a pretty good episode. There were some jokes that made me really laugh and Silverman did a very good job doing her best being funny in the sketches, but shined in the monologue where she was the only one there. Most of the sketches were so-so some that were funny left a lot to be desired and the ones that fell flat fell flatter than the the new iPhone that gave many Asian carpel tunnel. Too bad.
The cast do get some chances to shine, but fall flat, too, except Pete Davidson. He didn't show up at all this week. I guess that "Would You Go Down on a Guy" bit he did landed him some sort of bye week; Poor guy.

Fortunately, there is the next review to lift us up. Tune in tomorrow when former Bill Hader returns to the SNL stage for his first time as host. You KNOW it's gonna be funny. I mean, STEFON!!
See you then!

Saturday Night Live 40 Review: Chris Pratt & Ariana Grande

Hey everyone.
Since I started the SNL 40 Reviews really late (as in November 22 late), I'm giving us a quick catch-up of the season before the 17th, when the show returns like with Kevin Hart as host and Sia as musical guest. So, of course, let's begin with the season premiere, which I thought, right off the bat as the best episode so far this season, and might keep its title after the mediocre episodes that aired after it.

Host Chris Pratt has had a huge year. Besides starring in the ultra-praised Parks and Recreation, he's also done big things in film, starring in The Lego Movie, one of the biggest-selling and best-reviewed animated films of all time and Guardians of the Galaxy, the second-biggest-selling film of the year and the best film I saw at the movies, and in will be starring in Jurassic World coming later this year, among others. So there's no denying that he a big movie star and will continue to be for the next few years. And that's big enough to be the first host of SNL big historic fortieth season.

So let's get started with the first cold open...which was boring as hell and tedious.
It's a spoof of CNN's State of the Union with Candy Crawley, who as you know is leaving the network in . Aidy Bryant portrays Crowley and her guests were former Ravens linebacker Ray Lewis (Kenan Thompson) and hall-of-famer Shannon Sharpe (Jay Phaoroh). Host Chris Pratt briefly appears as Commissioner Roger Goddell.

This was barely funny and was frustrating for the most part, because Aidy messes up a few of her lines and makes this skit slower than it should be. Kenan and Jay do their best, but does save this sketch from being a wallbanger, but doesn't make it great. I know 5 minutes is kinda long, even for the SNL opening sketch, but this dragged on for what felt like between 10 minutes and an eternity. I feel sorry for the members in this sketch, but their performances don't make it work.

And now that that's over, "Live form New York, It's Saturday Night"! (sorta.)

Now for a bit (I promise), let's talk about the latest title sequence. My God, is it beautiful. Like pretty much every open, it features sweeping shots of New York City mixed together with the starring and featured cast members. What makes the cast shots cool, is that their names, when shown, move with their movements. And then their initials are briefly. Also, the wonderful retro vibe the sequence gives off. The camera angles and shots like like those of the 70s (Check out the sequence from the first seasons on YT for comparison).


After being blown away by the open, the awesome-ness continued onto the host set, where Chris performed his monologue. His wife, actress Anna Faris, appears to show him major support. The Mono song was a goofy and awkward ditty, and that made it funny and sweet.



Straight after, a pre-taped sketch mocking Cialis about a strange prescription medicine for erectile dysunction...while having the feeling of going to the club and getting crazy...also known as getting turnt up. (ugh) It's called Cialis Turnt. (sigh)

It's funny, but also corny. This is a pre-taped that isn't about a current event topic. This fake Cialis ad could've aired during the 30-something seasons and would've fit perfectly.

He-Man & Lion-O
The Sketch After the Monologue features Kyle Mooney as a young boy named Danny who makes a wish on his birthday for his toys, He-Man & Lion-O from Thundercats, to come to life. (Why this sketch with 80s toys that takes place in this decade is beyond me) After the blow on his candle (and some mysterious lights coming from nowhere for a few seconds), his wish actually comes true. His action figure toys (Pratt and Taran Killam, respectively), have become human-sized and interactive with Danny. But things don't go to plan; they instead want his Birthday cake, like his older sister, find joy in touching their privates (which the sensation of them suddenly growing also give them a liking). Danny's mother also takes a liking to them. Creepy.

This was a super funny skit, playing off the fact that the toys have barely brains to use and do whatever tickles their fancy. Also, although Ari did a really good job as She-Ra, I felt she didn't need to be in this sketch other than to wear She-Ra's outfit. Replace her with any white female member and not much changes. It just feels the same. All in all, this was a weird yet funny sketch.

Vet Office 2

Next up--oh God!! I hate this crap sketch!! This recurring stinker of a sketch debuted last season in Episode #9 hosted by Josh Hutcherson. It's a sketch at an animal hospital, where the nurses are talking about their day and help visitors with their pets' medical problems in terrible ways. This was the worst sketch, and since this sketch felt like one that felt one-and-done, I really didn't expect it to come back this season. It wasn't funny, it was really forced, and those Southern accents were God-awful.
I honestly don't have the time to explain more. I HATE THIS SKIT!

Marvel Trailer
Fortunately, something great came after that.
This pre-tape is loosely based on Marvel's success after Guardians of the Galaxy, a very obscure and almost unknown comic book turned into a huge monster smash movie and one of the biggest of the year. So in this spoof, the company decides to replicate the success by producing and releasing films that are completely made-up and have no story to build off from. They pretty much know they'll make a lot of money, just by slapping the Marvel name on top. THIS. IS. GENIUS!!

It just has to be funny and creative to take the success of something no one's heard of, and mock it in the way of other things no one knows about and release them to huge success. Great job, writers. Great job. Although the repeated use of the start of Hooked on A Feeling was annoying.

Booty Rap
The next sketch takes place at a bar, where a group of ladies and a bunch of guys separately have a night out. One of the ladies (Aidy) goes to one of the guys (Chris) tries to ask him out, and does so in a very...liberating manner.

The guy also has a way of peeking his interest.
I'm gonna say this: This is funny as hell. The fact that it started out as a normal, random sketch and turned into this absurd, out-of-nowhere rap-song-skit based off of Nicki Minaj's annoyingly popular "Anaconda". This was a genius concept and genius execution. Chris is genius with his lines about buttering them biscuits and flapping them jacks and CRACK-CRACK-CRACK, but using Aidy as the lady rapping to ask the guy out was a gold mine. Her mannerism and her having, and I quote, "a big fat ass" really make it work just as well. This just has to be one of my favorite sketches.

Bad Boys Pre-Tape
Later, another pre-taper; this time by Kyle Mooney and Beck Bennett, with Pratt appearing as their friend Maxie. It's pretty much a parody of sitcoms from the 90s. Right down to the post-production, dialogue, camera work and segues. And it's genius...but at first I was confused by it. But now I noticed, that's the point. It's supposed to be confusing. With the way 90s sitcoms were like, that makes sense. And that makes it all the more funny.


NFL Intros
The NFL on CBS is the setup for the following skit. Players of the Baltimore Ravens and Carolina Panthers appear for the usual roll call (you know, their name, rank, and college they went to). But instead of that last one, the players instead state physical or mental crimes they all committed over the past several years.

This was a hilarious sketch all around. But the funniest part came when LesJones comes in unexpectedly to say a crime she committed: Hitting her husband right back. I laughed so hard I thought I whole the neighborhood! (Okay, maybe I didn't do that; but it was still hilarious.)

And finally, the last sketch of the episode is Puzzle World 6, in which a group of game testers try out a new game. The game is very simple, with two characters on the side to help out (Pratt and Vanessa Bayer) But after they finish level, they do some...things.
Wow, this was too funny. Especially when the level is reached. The things the characters did, especially the "war scars" thing left me a little breathless.

Ariana Grande is the first performer of the season, so she had to bring it all in her performances, and she did.

Her first song "Break Free" was very impressive. Starting off in acoustic version played piano, her voice was really good, and the music was amazing. Then she jumped off the piano and runs to the stage, performing the studio version. I was happy she performing both versions, but I thought she tried too hard when she performed the rest of it on the stage. I though this performance was really good, but the second was even better.

For the first time ever, I heard what I thought was her best song yet, "Love Me Harder" with The Weeknd. Her voice was even better, the beat sent me good shivers and Weeknd's vocals were just as great. They both work great together. This song would be favorite Ariana song ever.
So overall, I loved both songs. Very solid performing from Ms. Grande.

Update Time:
Part 1:

Part 2:

This ep aired way before I began the reviews, so I'll say my thoughts in hindsight.

Well, the new Update team that everyone has been waiting for for months (especially since Cecily Strong announced that she's leaving to return to the sketches full-time) finally came. Now before I get to my sympathy toward them without sounding like a hypocrite and liar: I will say my opinion now, they were terrible together at first sight...but they weren't an abomination like everyone thought.
Colin Jost barely improved from last season and Michael Che was really bad. But hey, there's a reason: Jost was only a co-anchor for half a season; that's not enough time to improve and make a name for yourself (although that did happen for the worse), and Che is new to SNL, at least on-camera. No matter how much you want to criticize them, you seem to forget that they just happened to be a new team. You gotta give them time to grow as a team to really make an opinion about them. I figured this would happen; in fact, I myself felt this team wouldn't work.

Because of this, the producers decided to give viewers a final goodbye to Cecily at the Update desk full-time in the form of A Girl You Wish You Haven't Started A Conversation With At a Party, who appears to discuss the Ebola virus. She hasn't missed a beat. She's as great as the first time we saw her. Also, she made a passing reference to her short time as co-anchor with Colin with this:

"Who is that?" "That's Colin."
"He looks like my ex. He died at Burning Man."

--
Making her second appearance, after her controversial debut last season, Relationship Expert Leslie Jones talks about dating in this new decade and the questions surrounding them.
-At the time, I said this the minute she appeared on the desk: She needs to be a cast member! She is FUNNY, and shows it too. I know her humor isn't for everyone, but I know it's for me, so when the announcement came that she would become a featured cast member, I just said this: "HELL YEAH!! THANK YOU, GOD!!!" So this would become the start of her mark on the show, and it's gonna be documented here from start to finish.
--
Making his debut as, new cast member Pete Davidson (the first member to be born in the 90s) also really make his mark, by discussing his thoughts on a young man being caught -- of being a sexual position with a statue of Jesus Christ: that's talking about a game called "Would You Go Down on a Guy", which is being asked if you'd have sex with another dude for a lot of money.
-My goodness, this young man is hilarious! His goofy bravado, awkward mannerisms and jokes make his segment hilarious and one to talk about. It's great that Lorne and the producers chose Pete to join the cast, because he has talent and proves he has talent. I hope he appears again on Update as this schtick, because this is genius. But not too much, it's really genius.
So after watching this first offering of the newest Update, it left me with some desire for them to get better. And as the season will progress, they'll get through improvement, for better or worse.

So as I said, best episode of the season so far. Chris gave his all in the sketches and the cast did amazing. I laughed hard at almost all of them and found them all great, hoping the next episodes will be like this. But this is SNL so that's not gonna happen. And as the next reviews prove, my instincts (along with the comments on the TV-show websites) would be correct.

See you tomorrow for my review of Episode 2, hosted by Sarah Silverman, with music by Maroon 5. See you then!

Funday Friday--#1: The Amazing Dancing Madrids

Hi everyone, and welcome to a brand new segment I'd like to call Funday Friday,
where I find some fun, funny, heartwarming or crazy videos or reads I'd just happened to find in the past few days, and share it with you guys to end the week on a high note.

In this inaugural edition of Funday Friday, I bring you this amazing old married couple named Keone and Mari Madrid, who did the impossible: Dance like they're freaking tWitch!
I saw this video on Monday via this link on Facebook from musical group Karmin, which took me to this page on Dose.com. The dance is played to "Is This Love" by the great Bob Marley.
And let's just say that this vid will make your day...and your weekend. And probably your month too.

Let me just say Cheers to longevity in life, to being youthful at an old age, to the art of dance, and to Bob Marley and his music. All of these are the best ever.

Short/Long Song Review: Blank Space

Wanna know a funny thing?
I ended 2014 here on Maroon Mondays (sort of) with a Short/Long Music Review of a song by Taylor Swift. I hated it.
So it's a sad thing that I'm starting 2015 (sort of) by writing a Short/Long Song Review of a song by...(sigh) Taylor Swift.

When I made my Top Ten Worst Pop/Indie Song List during the back end of last year, I faced a dilemma. I already had 9 songs on deck and I had a few choices from an artist to put at #10. And all of them came from a certain artist I have a long-running love-hate relationship with: Taylor Swift. Yeah I admit, I really liked some of her music (they're catchy and actually really good), but the reason I hated them is the same, consistent reason: All of them are songs about bad relationships and the boy who ruined it for her. I wouldn't hate her discography if there wasn't so many of them between her (so far, as of posting this) five albums. Because of this long stretch of formulaic nature, my annoyance of her and her music has stood the test of time since the jump...at least until last August, when Taylor finally announced to the world that she's no longer a country artist (or at least pop/country) and will continue her career as a straight-up pop artist.
Since then, my heart grew three sizes more,

and I had the strength of ten Andrews, plus four.

I can finally enjoy Taylor's music without the added annoyance of it being classified as country. ...but then I remembered it's still about her bitching at guys who fucked her over.

And I'm back to Grinch mode.

Back to the TTWPIS list, I chose between two songs to put in at #10, since "Out of the Woods", which I hate even more, was already at #6. They were "Shake It Off" and "Blank Space".
At first listen of "SiT" on YT, and hated it for her being in denial about her dating life and that corny-ass rap verse in the bridge. After several more listens, I began to like it more, but still hated that lyric and the bridge rap. I then heard "Blank Space" for the first time during her performance at the American Music Awards (something I should stop doing from now on), and already hated it for being boring and treading the same dead, rotting, decomposed horse of a topic. But after a few more listens from time to time, I began to liken it a little more, because of my thought of Taylor admitting she has a screwed-up dating life, and decides to mock herself for it. And boy, does she have a sense of humor.

("get to the damn song, you pizza-face toolbox!")

But then I had a decision, choosing which song I liked the least that will stay in the list forever. And I stand by my choices for better or worse. And the song I chose was "Blank Space". Sure felt good of myself to make the conscious decision and finish the list. After that, I felt ashamed for putting the song on the list instead of one I heard longer than that. I thought I liked it more than "Shake It Off". That song had more charisma and force.
A few days later, I read an article of her talking about the writing and production of the song and...I got angry again. She says she didn't make the track because of her parodying her love life; she's parodying the listening public's perception of her dating life. And there goes the denial again. Now I have a reason to put it on the list. But I still feel disappointed in myself for putting it there because haven't heard it enough to criticize it and I know there's more to the song to either like or hate.
So, in my darkest hour of despair and heartbreak, I decided to make this edition of Short/Long Music Review a curious question to see if I made the wrong decision or the right one to put it on the list.
Here is "Blank Space" by Taylor Swift.



"Nice to meet you, where you been?
I could show you incredible things
Magic, madness, heaven, sin"
--So we start off with Taylor meeting a guy and finding intrest just from face value. Yep just like any woman who's began a love affair. But this is Taylor Swift we're talking about. So hold on folks, this verse has just started.
"Saw you there and I thought
Oh my God, look at that face
You look like my next mistake
Love's a game, wanna play?"
--Okay, that line is genius. Picking apart the curiousity of love in one simple line. And then

"New--money, suit and--tie
I can read you like a magazine
Ain't it--funny, rumors--fly
And I know you heard about me"
--Here's she mentioning her past, which you already know. At this point, I'm happy that Taylor is at least admitting about how the tabloid magazines perceive of her. Mocking her own shortcomings in life is a strength of this I can get behind.
"So hey, let's be friends
I'm dying to see how this one ends
Grab your passport and my hand
I can make the bad guys good for a weekend"
And here Taylor is a sweet, kind girl happy for a relationship with a guy
Yes, folks, Taylor Swift can make the bad guys good for a short amount of time. Where have we heard that before?

"So it's gonna be forever
Or it's gonna go down in flames"
(Psst, the second one)
You can tell me when it's over
If the high was worth the pain"
(I don't think he'd be the one to tell you this, but I bet you the high of record-breaking records, chart-topping singles and a lot of money, especially after the Spotify incident, is definitely worth the pain...the pain of your wrist after writing down the lyrics.)
"Got a long list of ex-lovers
They'll tell you I'm insane"
(Yeah, they will. They'll tell him they're still recovering after 3 months of riding the dragon. And hearing the dragon's music about them)
'Cause you know I love the players
AND YOU LOVE THE GAME!"
Jeez, Tay, no need to yell. So you love the players who love to play the game. Well, if you see the game as Def Jam: Icon and the object is to ruin your love and trust with metaphorical physical violence and throws to the bass-shaking walls, then I'd really believe you when you say they love the game.
"'Cause we're young and we're reckless
We'll take this way too far"
(Yeah, reckless. I'm pretty sure that "Reckless" and "Way Too Far" for you is staying up past midnight, watching R-rated Channing Tatum movies, eating cereal for dinner and the occasional use of the word Damn.
Jeez, you sound like a human Disney Channel Original Series.)
"It'll leave you breathless
Or with a nasty scar"
(Ohh, now she's gettin' violent, huh? I sure a little wussy fight will leave...at least...a bruise on ya. Not much really.)
"But I've got a blank space, baby
And I'll write your name"
Blank Space. Meaning she has a book that collects the names of guys she's dated. First off, I didn't know Taylor still writes in books, when there's a thing called a computer that can save data for her.
Second, she must be a frickin' creepo to store a list of guys' names in her

"Cherry--lips/Crystal--skies/
I can show you incredible things"
I don't think "Cherry lips" or "Crystal skies" are that incredible. I mean the the kissing a girl and looking up at the stars are really good things, but they're not exactly tickets to Heaven if you know what I mean.
"Stolen--kisses, pretty--lies
You're the King, baby, I'm your Queen"
Okay, I've heard some corny things in love song like -- and "Call me Mr. Flintstone/ I can make your BedRock", but a line about kisses being stolen is a first in a line of them. Also, You said "I can show you incredible things" again. I know this happens before, but for someone like Taylor Swift to repeat a line in more than one verse, that's just lazy. Or foreshadowing something.
"Find out--what you want/Be that girl--for a month
Wait, the worst--is yet to cooooome, oh no"
Maybe what he wants is a good relationship with that'll last a damn long time, even if he known about you in the tabloids. But knowing you, we all know what's happening next. (I will give Taylor credit, though, for knowing the dreaded break-up was coming anyway. Because of the fact it has happened five times already, I'm proud of her for finally anticipating it.)
"Screaming,--crying,--perfect storms
I can make all the tables turn
Rose--garden,--filled with thorns
Keep you second guessing like
'Oh my God, who is she?'/I get drunk on jealousy
But you'll come back--each time you leave
'Cause, darling, I'm a nightmare dressed like a daydream"
Holy shit, Taylor's gone banal. What a shocker.
I mean seriously, who didn't expect a Taylor Swift song to go down this route around verse two?? She starts off happily in love with a guy, then he does something that somehow pisses her off (she barely says what that is, leading us to assume she'll break up any guy for anything), and breaks up with him in anger, pain and tears. Ant then the cycle starts over for the next song and so on and so forth. And that includes "Shake It Off" if you count the "too many dates" line and that bridge rap. Sure, she wrote a couple lines about how people think she dates, but that's two lines in an otherwise likable song. But here, she wrote an entire song about her making fun of how the public sees her dating life. And how they see her dating life IS TRUE!!

"Boooys only want love if it's torture
Dooon't say I didn't, say I didn't warn ya" x2
--Yeah right, Taylor; you don't know what torture is. There is no way you and any of the guys you dated would ever reach the development of a relationship that is "torture" since all of them barely reached 90-day mark. God, this made Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries' 73-day "marriage" look like a freakin' prefect masterpiece.

Yet speaking of masterpiece, let's talk about the music video for a bit. My God, what a sight for sore eyes that is. That's because its director Joseph Kahn said in an interview that he wanted it to emulate the cinematography of the work of iconic director Stanley Kubrick. And boy did he do a masterful job with it. It really looks like something Kubrick would direct; the camera angles, the tight shots, the movement, and the lighting look like a short film by him, than a Taylor Swift song about another relationship gone shitty.

Why did I put the song on the list again? Oh yeah.
Because it's freaking boring. Despite it's minimalist tone, the beat is so quiet and thin, I could barely hear it. It's like I'm hearing a spoken-word song. I try my best to listen to it and enjoy it, but it's so slow and tiring, I end up a little sleepy. Plus this out-of-place space between lyrics; it's really irritating. It's like her throat got sore and still needed to perform this as carefully as possible, so that the producers can take care of the rest by smushing the finished results together. But then they decided to leave spaces in to make it sound cool, or even revolutionary in pop music. It's like this:
"It's like--she's run--out of--breath/
Yet tries hard to keep it all on track;
It just--an-noys--me so--hard/
Makes me bang my head until a crack"
I've heard songs use this type of lyrical work before and this isn't the worst, but it's still annoying. All that on top of it being the usual TaylorSwiftian bullshit about dating a bad guy and him screwing her over to oblivion.

Taylor, there is no way you can deny your horrid dating life this long when it's been thrown out there in public so fucking wide open, that it makes you look like an idiot for trying to hide it. I know it's not any of my business of to talk about it (yeah yeah, I know, "why am I talking about it?", blah blah, Kermit the Frog sipping on tea), but you barely kept them a secret and when they end, a new album is either in the works or is released, and then you date another guy as if the last one didn't even exist. And the public explodes talking about your dating troubles and mocking you on how fast and loose you are in relationships. And no amount of sass and snark can redeem you.

...or maybe...maybe she's telling the truth. Maybe the guys she's dated really are assholes and treat her like crap. Maybe she tried her best to make each relationship work and notices each time that they aren't and smartly ran away before it gets worse. And maybe the songs she write are comfort away from the pain, heartbreak and sadness; to make her feel better and good about herself, and at the same time learn that girls everywhere are feeling the same way and wants to keep it up to make those girls feel happy and proud about themselves. And she'll use these songs to go into relationships better and find a better guy that'll treat her better and love her for her.
NAH!! THAT'S NOT IT! Taylor will continue the same damn cycle forever until she's dead. Probably even after she's dead, too.

So in summary, I do like this song. The beat is really good in its minimalist nature, and Taylor has a great performance here along with the lyrics. Most of them were well-thought of and well-written, and make for what could be one of Taylor's best songs. But because of the reason above, I don't love it, and I guess it really does deserve to be in the Top Ten Worst Pop/Indie Songs List. The lyrics are still about the usual, Taylor's still whining her near-non-existent ass off, and the guy she's dating gets off with the worst thing ever: Taylor Swift writing a song about him that'll go #1 on the Billboard Hot 100 and will definitely win her a bunch of awards. It's a circle of life that'll continue until Taylor runs out of material (aka runs out of famous guys to date). I will like her new work, but it's gonna take a while for me to truly love and appreciate it.

See ya next month for another edition of Short/Long Music Review. Until next time, I need to find a girl that won't end up writing my name ...or listen to Taylor Swift. Shouldn't be hard.

Racism Sadly Still Exists: Bombing at NAACP Chapter

And yet this day just gets even worse.

After the horrible attack on Charlie Hebdo in Paris earlier today another horrible ethical attack occurred; this time in Colorado Springs, Colorado, when the building of a chapter of the NAACP was barley destroyed by a homemade bomb. Fortunately, no person appeared at the building during the attack and no significant damage was made. The person who committed the crime or the motive is unknown. The FBI is investigating.

Racism is a horrible thing, no doubt. But it still exists. Ignorant idiots just refuse to realize that there are other races inhabiting this country and just make complete asses of themselves making their opinions of this matter heard, and something of this nature happened today. I'm not saying racism should stay around, but it's still around, no matter what anyone says or does to combat it or kill it entirely. But we shouldn't stop trying. I just hope that we as a nation will not sit down and let horrible things like this continue to happen. The African American community has fought hard to stand out, survive and live peacefully as an equal race for too damn long, and shouldn't let the work of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. and Malcolm X die down all because some dumbass with segregation on his mind tear down a building.

Whoever did this shall be arrested and sent to jail for the crime. I don't care if the human is white, latino, Muslim, Asian or even Black (yes, even Black; although that's uncertain). Whoever did this or any race shouldn't get away with this.

This day is horrible.

Compromizing Free Speech? Hell No!: The Killings at Charlie Hebdo (UPDATED)

You guys know free speech right?
It's a thing people use to say what they want and feel in the context they want or feel to express what they feel. But sometime, some people don't like free speech...as least when it comes to others using it against the things they like and others don't. And sadly, a clash in the name of free speech happened in Paris. At the headquarters of Charlie Hebdo.

At 11:30 am Paris local time, or as reported this morning in America, a shooting occurred at the offices of French satirical magazine Charlie Hebdo. 12 people were killed and eleven others were injured, four of those are in critical condition. 3 police officers were wounded. Of the 12, eight were Hebdo journalists (among them, four of the magazine's founding cartoonists) and two were officers.
At one point during the exchange, one of the men shouts, "We have avenged the Prophet Muhammad"
The officers then escaped the officers in a waiting black vehicle and jetted off, later abandoning the vehicle for another. The killers are still on the loose.

This makes no fucking sense. Why must people be killed because they have an honest opinion that they really want to let out? Why must lives be taken because a certain group of people don't like what they're saying? We should free speech be compromised if the people committing the attack I don't get it!!
These people have a right to say what they feel! It's in their journalistic integrity to say what they want. No person can and should ever take their right to it. It's in our 1st Amendment, dammit! To terrorist should and shall ever take anyone's right to free speech. If Those assholes have a right to use it anyway they want to, WHY THE FUCK CAN'T THEY?!?! They have a job at Charlie Hebdo to inform the French public about their opinions on the news of the world just like the satirical newspapers of the United States does to inform the American public.
If we can't have free speech like we do now, then we are living in a truly insane and truly fucked-up world.

These fucking cowards shall not get away with this reprehensible crime, and should be arrested and tortured for the crime. This is something that shouldn't have happened The term "The Pen is Mightier Than The Sword" is a very powerful and legendary quote that that really fits with this sad story, but think a nice sequence of water-boarding fits just as well.

We as Americans have still stood strong after 9/11 and the other horrible tragedies of the past decade. I (along with the rest of America and those in full belief of free speech) know the people of Paris, the country of France and the people of Charlie Hebdo especially can stand strong after this.

You cowards may have taken away the lives of some people (which was a horrible thing in and of itself), but you haven't taken away the right to free speech. Free speech is still alive, well and kicking with everyone else in the world, even with you. Just because you believe you have the right to free speech, that doesn't mean everyone else can't, won't and shouldn't. If When you're caught, you will suffer for your crimes. And will avenge those at Charlie Hebdo who have lost their lives when they shouldn't have.
Charlie Hebdo, you have the sympathy and empathy of everyone in the world.

This is a quote from Philippe Val, the former director of Charlie Hebdo, during an interview with Radio France:

"Our way of rendering justice is to not to stand by quietly, it is to continue. One cannot do otherwise. I hope that this tragedy, which is irreparable, will change things, that we will not let the bastards win. It is necessary to have a forceful and realistic discussion on this rising danger, which is real and that has been denounced for years. We have not listened. Today you have to listen to us, do not leave us alone."

#JeSuisCharlie

UPDATE: Okay, there is a little good in this story now. Two days after the horrible attack tttat Charlie Hebdo offices in Paris, French police caught up to the suspects, , Cherif and Said Kouachi, and engaged in a shoot-off with the suspects, killing them.

Another attack also happened around the same time, when a gunman took people hostage at a kosher market in eastern Paris. The gunman was also killed in the attack, with reports that those kept hostage were also killed.

All I will say here is that I'm happy the attackers are killed. It's really painful for the employees of Charlie Hebdo lose their colleagues and friends at the magazine, and even worse for the families of the victims lose their loved ones. And I feel sorry for everyone. But I'm now happy there is closure and that the deaths will be avenged.

Surprise Short/Long Music Review: Potatoes & Low-Asses (Yes. SERIOUSLY.)

Yes, folks. What you read at the top of the page is a real thing. And No, it's not a typo.
If you've been watching Over the Garden Wall like I have, then you know about it and its music that have become popular all across the nerd-vine of the Internet. One of the most popular is "Potatoes and Molasses", a song about Gregory's declaration that the this delicious meal that is "warm and soft like puppies and socks", "much sweeter than Algebra class" and "short and stout to make everyone shout". If you haven't heard the song yet (seriously, why?), here it is below:

The reason I'm mentioning this is because the other day looking over blog's official Twitter page timeline, I came across this tweet by The Blasting Company, the good folks who composed and recorded the series music, which reads:

I do believe this is a first for us... https://t.co/GC67tFcfF7

— The Blasting Co. (@blastingcompany) December 28, 2014

After clicking on the link enclosed in it, I was redirected to a video on YT. This video is something I was surprised to hear, and will never forget it. And boy, I'm glad I listened to it.

This is a mash-up song by "Psycosis" between "Molasses" and a song by (of all artists) Juicy J called "Low" featuring Nicki Minaj, Young Thug and Lil Bibby. It is called "Potatoes and Low Asses". Really.
Brace yourself for maximum absurdity and awesome ahead.



All I can say is...Psycosis aka whoever made this, I applaud you. This is super awesome. I usually don't like Juicy J songs, but this mash-up made me really like this song. The beat and production are really, really good, it's great to dance to, and actually accentuates the Juicy J track to beyond tolerance for me. Plus, the name is genius! Combining "Potatoes and Molasses" with "Low" and Asses, which no-doubtedly rhymes with Molasses, is a stroke of genius. Everything about this mash-up is genius!
I mean, what more can I say? This is so damn good!

More of The Downfall of Justin Bieber

This post began work In March 2014, after the video deposition.

It seems like these days, to maintain your status as a celebrity, you have to do some dirty work. Some stars have by changing up the status quo by doing different roles or changing the sound in their music. Others, on the other hand, do horrible things like steal, smoke dangerous drugs, drink heavily, commit assaults, possess illegal weapons and break the hearts of fans, among other things. In the year 2014 (and the second half of 2013), Justin Bieber has been doing some of the latter, going himself into frequent squabbles with area police departments and getting close to being behind bars, but always walks off scot free. So I, Andrew, give you a (semi-)complete rundown of the crimes committed by Justin Bieber.

I call it "More of the Downfall of Justin Bieber".

On March 10, a video of Bieber being asked questions in a deposition that was taped on March 6. The Biebs was an asshole throughout the entire depo, looking bored, talking smart and acting like he had places to be, He also pretended to fall asleep in his chair at one point. The kicker came when one of the lawyes asked him about Selena Gomez. He told them: "Don't ever ask that again" over and over.

On May 12, Bieber, ever so cunning, got himself in legal trouble when he was caught stealing. The item of attempted theft? A cell phone. Justin and some friends were at--of all places--a mini-golf outlet. Police were called to the place because Bieber allegedly already stole a little girl's phone. The woman herself told TMZ that Bieber saw her taking pictures, so he came up to her and demanded he take it to delete the pics; she obviously refused. So the Biebz thought it was okay to reach into her purse, grab it, and do it himself. (SMH) Someone close to Bieber tried to downplay the situation.
"Justin was just enjoying hanging out with friends at the batting cage and playing mini-golf," the source told CNN. "This just wasn't a big deal."
I wonder if the lady owner of the phone was either angry or honored to have her phone stolen by Justin Bieber. Probably the former.

On May 15, a video was released of Bieber doing a really stupid and dangerous stunt. It's called "Skitching", in which someone rides a skateboard while hitching a ride close to a car. Just look at this.

Justin Bieber -- Clinging to Moving Van on Skateboard
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If only he tripped. (Sorry (notsorry), that was cruel)

I might not think of this as that bad, but--on May , a video was released of Bieber saying a joke in regards to black people. The video, taped five years ago during his "swoopy hair" days, shows Bieber with some friends playing XBox, when Bieber says this:

He was 15 years old at the time, not much a kid anymore, so apparently, either he didn't know right from wrong like how we do in America, or he does, but just doesn't know there was a camera right there in front of him recording his every word. Either way, whoever said the joke that Bieber got it from, he must be blushing.

Bieber would later make an apology on Twitter, saying this:

So he apologized, and it's kinda perfectly sincere; that's good enough, right? Well, it would...

...if not for what happened on the week of June 3, when a 24-second video was surfaced of Justin rearranging the lyrics of his 2009 song "One Less Lonely Girl" and added the N-word to it. He also adds a sweet, lighthearted lyric about killing a girl (assumingly Black) and joining the Ku Klux Klan. Take a look at this garbage.

I admit, I snickered at this the first time, but you have take a look at my face to see how disgusted I am at this. If Donald Sterling has to give up the Clippers for the words he said (and it's still well-deserved), then Usher and Scooter Braun have to give up his pretty-boy ass soon. We Americans are already annoyed by his antics so far, so if there's any chance Canada can take him back with open arms, we'd understand fully.

And yet, he's still around, and he's gone into pissing off us Americans intentionally. Earlier this week, Bieber attended a party in an Ibiza, Spain nightclub Cipriani, and almost got into blows with actor Orlando Bloom. Bloom almost punched Bieber in the face for an alleged crack the Biebz made about Orlando's ex-wife and Victoria's Secret model Miranda Kerr. Bloom attempted to run past security and tried to run Bieber over and clock him. Biebz ducked from the shot, but felt ready to fight and shouted "What's up, Bitch?" before leaving the nightclub. One of Bieber's sources says it didn't happen until after Bloom took the swing and missed. Also, someone on Justin's side says that he and party went past Bloom's table (he was at another) and wanted to shake his hand, but Bloom refused. This beef between the two began in 2012 when Bieber got flirty with Kerr during the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show, which set off tension between her and Bloom. The couple later separated in October 2013.
It's one thing and it's another to want to punch Bieber in the face because of how much of a candy-ass pretty-boy he is, but it's not cool to joke about someone's family, especially when that family has a child with them. If I were Orlando, as soon as someone tells me that Justin Bieber made a crack about my ex, I'd rush to the other side of the party and knock him out the second I'd see him, whether or not that'd be an excuse to punch him for no reason. And God help him if he made a joke about my daughter. I'm just saying, ALL HELL WILL BREAK LOOSE if that happens. Even if he didn't make these smart-ass remarks, Justin Bieber needs to keep quiet sometimes and think before he acts, or else he could get his dyke-looking ass beat by another grown man (or woman) at another party in foreign country.

After that Bieber would get into trouble a couple more times this year, but they're not a huge or memorable. But this year has become the year of Justin Bieber going Apeshit and never looking back. We'll never know whatever trouble he'll get into next year, but we all should keep this in mind. If Bieber's music goes into decline in quality and mass-sized quantity, he'll get desperate and "make more trouble", while we'll not care and watch his embarrassment in enjoyment. And I'll have another year-long-made post hot-and-ready.

106 & Park: Last Episode Review

Welcome everyone, to my review of the final episode of 106 & Park.
106 & Park is a music countdown program on BET which aired for 14 years from September 11, 2000, to December 19, 2014. Now when I watched this show back when I was a kid, it was one of the best shows on TV. The music, the hosts, the guests, even the set. Everything that worked in the beginning and would continue for years had made it awesome. I loved watching it for years, even during its Dork Ages, I still watched, because I was a very loyal viewer and the hosts, guests and music kept me watching.

This program seen as the urban TRL (MTV's Total Request Live), playing the top 10 popular hip-hop and R&B music videos in the country and inviting popular musicians, actors, athletes and ect. to the set to promote music, movies, TV shows, spots and ect. All the elements to make the show work worked and made it BET's most watched series for years.

The first hosts are AJ and Free, two unknowns thrust onto the spotlight by BET to host the then new program and became extremely popular for it. They hosted for the first 5 years from 2000-2005. Thanks to this show, they became household names and popular television personalities.

Later on in 2005, after the shocking announcement that the two would leave for personal reasons, 106 was hosted in the interim by Big Tigger, host of another hugely popular BET series Rap City, and Julissa Bermudez. The two would take the reigns for a year from '05 to '06. I thought the two were a really good pairing and enjoyed them a lot. This wasn't seen as a dork year; the pairing kept the show floating along well, and kept it at the top.
But the next year would prove something bigger and take 106 & Park to a whole new level.

In 2006, two new unknowns made their debut on the program and made it hotter, stay relevant and even more popular: Terrence Jenkins and Rocsi Diaz. This era was the one I remember the most. These two (along with the studio audience and music countdown) were the bread and butter of the show. All of these breathed new life to 106, and it still became a hot destination for the music, guests and set. I couldn't think of a better show to watch besides the news on a weekday evening, and Terrence and Rocsi gave me a reason to stay at home and watch.
Then, after 6 years of hosting, Terrence and Rocsi both announce they are leaving 106, as they individually feel that it's the right time to walk away from the show and do other projects. Rocsi later became a correspondent for Entertainment Tonight and Terrence became an actor and co-host of the E! News show

Saturday Night Live 40 Review: Amy Adams & ONE DIRECTION

Well, everyone. The Christmas holiday is upon us.
The snow is falling (in the case of this year, not really), people are shopping for Christmas gifts, decorations are hung up and turned on in houses across the nation, and everyone's in the cheerful spirit. So leave it to Saturday Night Live 40 to give us a reason to be happy...and split our sides too (probably).

The Christmas episode has been a tradition with the show since its beginning in 1975. Basically, it's just another episode, with some sketches featuring decorations in the background, and the main guest host/SNL Band set and musical guest set get heavily decorated as well. So what makes this better than others? The decor...
AND THAT ONE DIRECTION IS PERFORMING THIS WEEK!!!! YES!! WAAAAHOOO!!!! YES!!
OHMYGOD! OHMYGOD! OHMYGOD! OHMYGOD! OHMYGOD! OHMYGOD! (HYPERVENTILATING)
I CAN'T BELIEVE IT!!! HA-HA-HA!! ...
...sorry, got a little excited. Also, Academy Award-nominated actress Amy Adams (almost alliterative)
is the host, so that's also great. So follow me as we reminesce in yet another good episode this season...and possibly the strangest.


We start with a special by soon-to-be British superstar Sam Smith (Taran Killam, who surprisingly almost looks like him) singing holiday versions --and then, static--and then, Dr. Evil appears. DR. EVIL!!! YES!! Evil interrupts the broadcast to deliver an attack on both North Korea and Sony for their actions in the "The Interview" shutdown scandal. You know what's happening here.
I don't care if it wasn't funny (yet it was), the fact that Mike Myers reprised his (second) role from the Austin Powers in this sketch was absolutely genius. I expected SNL to do a mocking on the matter, didn't expect this at all. Brilliant, Brilliant, Brilliant!

Monologue time.
Amy came to the stage to talk about the joys of the Christmas season, including taking your kids to Times Square and see Christmas Elmo; if you're lucky, the human inside will take off the head ans reveal himself as an ugly balding crank who wants a cigarette.
She later performed (don't worry, this one's good. She can sing.) the Holiday classic "We Need a Little Christmas", with a little help from Kate McKinnon, Bobby Moynihan, TKill, Sasheer Zamata

Kristen Wiig returns to help this a little more razzle-dazzle (and a more crazier

Asian-American Doll Pre:
Sick of white female dolls that have all the fun stuff just for being...white? Well, here's the Asian American Doll, a doll made by the makers of the Christie, Stacy and Stephanie dolls. She can do anything the other dolls also can do--as long as it's not stereo-typically Asian.

This pre-tape is so cringe-worthy and hilarious. It mocks all the foolishness of the people who create dolls, their ethnic group and the back-stories and accessories. It also makes fun of kids who unintentionally mention stereotypes about the Asian-American Doll--it's country, academic strengths, and what it put's in a house it lives in (like an Oriental rug). And they made this so brutally well-done. The Gong bang was a lovely touch.
Also, Vanessa Bayer was great as the mom who gave her daughter a doll she will love, but the daughter thinks too much...way too much. (Do these kids watch CCTV a lot? Do they have Dish?)

Christmas Serial:
Next, a parody of NPR series Serial. I've never heard of the show, but from research on Wikipedia (It premiered on October 3), I'm surprised it took SNL this long to make a mock of it.
This episode is about a boy who got a present from a mysterious guy named Kris (as Kringle, meaning--you-know-who). You pretty much know how this goes.

This is a genius take on the immortal story of Santa Claus giving presents to kids on Christmas Night, but makes it look like a cold case crime as seen on the show and 48 Hours. Cecily Strong does a great job as host Sarah Koenig and Kyle Mooney was hysterical as "Kris", among the the other cast members in this pre-tape.

Following is...*sigh* Girlfriends Talk Show.
This time, Morgan claims to be on the dance squad, so the guest is its captain (Amy). Morgan tries her best to prove she's on the squad but fails horribly. Also, One Direction appears as the guy dancers.

Now, I'm not saying it isn't funny (some parts here are). But it's really annoying. Kyra's voice is fucking irritating and Morgan is so creepily desperate for a segment to do (or pretty much anything else), that I can't help but feel sorry for her that she always gets dashed by her best friend for someone she just just threw in because they're more popular. And Kyra is pretty much a slut if her dating all the male dancing squad is any indication. On the other hand, Amy looked beautiful as the captain, and believable too.
I really don't want to see this again.

Office Christmas Party
At an office party, co-workers who came to have fun look ready leave bored out of their minds (mostly because their co-worker DJ Tom plays the Ghostbusters theme), waiting for the day they buy their kids' presents to make it much much less taxing. That is until two guys (Jay Pharaoh & Pete Davidson), pretty much the second-coming of The Dick in a Box Guys, make the wish of one of them (Moyni) come true.
And from there, the boring office party becomes a banging, awesome Office Christmas Party!!

This reminds me of "Boy Dance Party" from last season, also bright-lighty, banging and catchy. The things the co-workers seem mundane but is really funny in execution, especially Carol from New Media (Baby Aidy) getting wasted and crashing into the tree. Becky from Payroll (Adams) was just awkwardly funny.
This was just hilarious.

The next sketch is a holiday special in Cuba airing on NBC in partnership between the Peacock network and
Cuba's own Cuba Vision.

I don't want to say much, but this was more cringeworthy and creepy than funny, with the many Cuban stereotypes that even the writers and producers of the first 5 seasons would blush at (and of course respond by saying, "we can do better than that"). Throwing in Cuba Gooding Jr. (Kenan) just because his name is Cuba just wasn't funny to me. The funniest thing being some Cuban figures being played by clearly white cast members; thank God they look like them at least.

Singing Sisters/"A Magical Christmas"
Three women (Kate Mc., CecStrong & Amy A) are at a bar trying to impress a couple men (Moyni & Kyle Mooney), while the men get them a drink.

I assume those "women" were animals, since they kept talking about eating garbage. Also, because the description on Yahoo! said they made a wish (talk about Spoiler). This was a strange-ass sketch.

And so was the next one...
In the Ten-to-One, a store called Whiskers-R-We, the spokeswoman Barbara DeDoo(?) (Kate Mc) and her girlfriend (Amy) are showing off cats to give for adoption during a holiday giveaway. They also slip details of their dating life in very creepy ways relating to the cats.

This was really creepy, Barbara's voice/lisp is irritating, and the lesbian subtext is sick as hell.

This week's musical guest is One Direction.
AAAAAHHHHHH!!!
Sorry.
They performed two singles from their lasted album Four...(I won't judge them for the simple album title...Okay, I will; The title is smple, basic and boring. The genius of it all is that it's the fourth album.)

The first is "Night Changes", a song about a girl having fears about a relationship with a guy, but the guy assures her the ship will stay the same, even though night changes to day.
This was a beautiful song with beautiful vocals from the guys, so this was a beautiful performance.

And the second is "Ready to Run"
I love this one more for being more higher in tempo than the last one, but they're both great performances.
Also, I wanna talk about the guys for a sec. They've clearly grown up. Louis look less like a boy, Zayn has the rugged hipster Irishman look (whatever that may be), Liam's grown a nice beard, Nial looks even more polished--and doesn't Harry look like a younger, British version of Hozier?

You can really see a resemblance.
Anyway, great job from the boys, I can clearly say this with no restraint, regret or disgust. Their latest album is really good, and I wish them very well in the future. Now, I really wish they don't break, just so they end bitterly and Harry gets a solo career that crashes and burns as well. Although they can get rid of the skinny jeans; poor thighs need a breather. (okay, I regret typing that)

Time For an Update:
Part One

Part Two

Okay...I noticed some uneven work from Jost & Che this week, as there was a very terrible ying-yang going on at the desk. Michael got the great laughs, while Colin got the shitty laughs.
I feel sorry for Colin. He's getting better, but all I see in him is being a boring, grumpy, crumudgeon who does this job only to get through and go home (Literally, since that's the only thing he does here, since he barely appeared in a few sketches), even worse since it's the Christmas episode and he's gone off the Good list. (At least Sump'n Claus will hook him up for Xmas.)

Moyni showed up as (oh no.) Kim Jong Un...and almost got shot in the process.
Y'know, I get annoyed when a cast member appears on Update for an interview. I get that it's part of the joke, but this still annoys me for reasons I clearly cannot explain. Oh yeah, and Moyni was kinda funny as Kim Dong Um-he's-a-bitch-for-not-taking-a-joke.

Kenan appears as Michael's "neighbor" Willie, an old man who is clearly in the holiday spirit, and helps out Mike, who is a half-Grinch.
Even though it was lower in pace (and longer) than the KJU part, this one was also funny and sweet, and Kenan did a great job as Willie.

Garth & Kat are back! yay.
They are hear with another song involing the last-of-the-year holidays (this time Hanukkah) and of of course it's a weird-as-hell song about
I was only excited when Fred Armisen came back. I only laughed when they botched lines.

Favorite Bits:
"Look, Kimberly..."
Moyni as Kim Jong Un
Kenan as Willie
"...sorry, Ladies." (just kidding; that still sucked)

So, In Conclusion:
This was a weird episodes. Like, really weird. Some sketches But, surprisingly, that didn't stop it from being funny. There was some good laughs in almost all sketches.
Amy did a great job as host, she did keep me interested, and did her very best singing in a couple of them too.
Mooney, Sasheer, Pete Dave, Leslie Jones and Pharaoh barely appeared in a couple sketches (while Beck Bennet didn't appear at all), and everyone else gave really good performances in some sketches and "Meh." performances in others. But I'll give it to the performers for being so popular in the writing department to get so many sketches to appear in. I just find them repeat offenders. I do wish some of the other cast members get at least one sketch to perform in. That way, they don't coast for the season and have people forget who they are. And that they don't get a free pass to next season...

Well, guys this is the last review...for now.

Because on January 17, after Christmas & New Years' breaks and weeks of repeats, SNL returns Live with host Kevin Hart...The elipsis doesn't mean I hate his humor (although I don't love it either), it means there's no musical guest for that show. Which is extremely puzzling. Will they give him a slot for him to perform a comedy act? Did they forget to find an act to line up (which hasn't intentionally happened since...Walter Matthau hosted back in 1978)? Is HE the musical guest (I barely handled his comedy; I don't think I'll prepare for his singing) We'll see what happens then.
But until then, thank you for joining me for the first four Saturday Night Live 40 Reviews. it has been my pleasure spending all of my Sunday making these and and giving them to all of you for your enjoyment. See you January 17! Goodnight!
...and Thank You.

Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson: The Last Last Night (Review)

Well, everyone. The time has come.
The Late Late Show has ended an era: Craig Ferguson is leaving the program as host after almost ten years and over 10 seasons (I know, it confuses me too), from January 3, 2005 to yesterday, December 19, 2014.

Even though this show was second fiddle to David Letterman's Late Show (which itself will reach the end of its own era early next, when Letterman leaves for retirement, with Stephen Colbert taking reigns--as his replacement), it had a brand that made it stand out from all the other late-night shows, which was a huge feat, because all the late night shows of this era had identities that were genius amazing in their own right. That brand was absurd, surreal, in-your-face humor that is oddly refined, yet deliciously awkward in one strange, yet beautiful package.
Many elements made this show work; the loose, no-cue-cards interviews with guests, the running gags, Craig banging the camera at the start, his puppets, his chats with Geoff Peterson, Geoff Peterson itself/himself, horse Secretariat, ect. All of this showed how free-flowing, yet tightly-wound and smart as a whip it could be and did.
So let'[s check out my review of the very last show and relive the every moment from start to finish, shall we?

We start with drums...many drums...among other things...as they were performed (sort of) by some--many of Craig's beloved guests, which began a performance of Dead Man Fall's "Bang Your Drum".

And that segued into a live performance in the studio with Craig taking lead continuing the great song. Man, was that awesome! The feeling was amazing, the performers were great, the in-house choir adding in made it even greater and Craig singing made it even more greater. This entire performance was awesome!

After the commercial break, and a wonderful montage of him walking out to the set from the very first show to his last, Craig comes out for the final time to make his final monologue. And just like all the others, it was a barrage of strange stories, creepy jokes with Geoff and peeks of Secretariat. And of course, it was hilarious!



After another commercial break, it was time for Craig to answer questions sent by viewers via e-mail and Twitter. In the first question, Jack from New Jersey asked Craig to do a bit where a doorbell rings (via a doorbell under his desk) and he asks who's at the door. (if you're a fan, you KNOW who it is. If not...) It's Secretariat!! A horse!! He runs into and around the studio while Craig, Geoff and the audience dances in ultra-happiness. After that...it's onto the next question. It does seem weird to you, but an event to us, the robot skeleton army.
Anyway, a woman from Lexington, Ky., asks Craig, in this, the final Tweetmail in the history of this Late Late Show, what Ass Mode means. (If you've watched the show, during the "Check the Tweets" jingle, the phrase "Ass Mode" appears somewhere in all of the jingles. You've probably been curious about it and what it means too.) So Craig (actually Geoff) finally answers the immortal question: Ass Mode is the way of life.
...okay?

Anywho, it's onto the final interview, with Craig talking with legendary stand-up comedian and former host of The Tonight Show, Jay Leno.

It was a wonderful low-key interview. It was intimate, funny, heartwarming, goofy, absurd, lacadaisical, and just all-around amazing/ The interviews that Craig make with his guest are nothing like the other talk-show hosts. They are barely about things the guest would come to promote (TV shows, movies, books, etc.), and instead talk about anything on the guest's mind (and anything that's interesting and or/funny).

After that, it was time for the final edition of

and this leads to this near-immortal question: Who is the guy (or woman) whom has controlled Secretariat all this time?
The answer would finally be revealed. It's...Bob Newhart.

"Hey, guy, it's your dream."

Yes, a dream as Craig as a swirl of the screen, the sound of the TARDIS revving up, and my continuous, long-winded typing reveal to be a dream of...Mr Wick??
He wakes up to Drew Carey (!!!) and tells him the odd recollection of imagination. Drew tells him it's not true and the two go back to sleep. That's right, this is the dream of Mr. Wick, who is sleeping with Drew Carey after the end of The Drew Carey Show. This was a Shout-Out to the finale of Newhart, with a close-up to a snow-globe with Craig, Geoff and Secreteriat inside being another to the finale of St. Elsewhere and a quick screen blink-out to black as an ode to the final episode of The Sopranos.
Boy, was that weird...but that was what made the show great. And perfect.

I will miss The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson so much. It's humorous, intelligent and wacky; everything just makes me happy to be alive so I can tune in. Craig has been a surprisingly great host; his bits, pieces and touches to his part of the franchise have made it one of the most genius and underrated shows on TV I've never watched a show like it before and (since it'll be on YouTube forever) I never will again.
Goodbye, Geoff. Goodbye, Secretariat. Goodbye, Sid the Cussing Bunny. Goodbye, Kronos the monkey. Goodbye, Wavy Rancheros. Goodbye, all the other puppets that appeared on the show. And Goodbye, Craig. Your hosting threw in a new era in the talk show genre that has imprinted a goofy and genius naivete and changed it for better or worse (more better than ever would be worse). Since then, your presence has still been felt and talk will never be the same.
Thank You.