SNL 40 Review: Chris Rock & Prince and 3rdEyeGirl

Well, folks, I knew this would happen when I would review the episodes of SNL 40 I didn't review yet. And they day I watched it, I knew the second it ended that I had watched something I couldn't have watched again if it'll save my life. I watched some corny episodes of SNL in the ten years I've watched the show, but this is the clear, definite, obvious worst.
Not only of the season so far, but also of the decade so far, and probably of the millenium too. I can't say ever, because SNL has three seasons that suck ass, but this may be up there. But I have to, because I wanted to do the damn thing. But as I watched some sketches, I realized, and this is as much as a shock to me as it is to you...but they weren't as bad I though. They're actually good. Not great of course, but kinda good sketches.

(Some sketches don't have clips from YT or Yahoo so here's the whole episode provided by Hulu, with some sketches being the dress rehearsal version.)


This time, the Cold Open spoofs Fox News Channel's The Kelly File, with Cecily Strong portraying host Megyn Kelly. Her guests are New Jersey Governor Chris Christie (played by Kyle Mooney; kidding--Bobby Moynihan) and Kaci Hickox (Carrot Top; I keed--Kate McKinnon). I didn't see most of it or pay attention to it until the title sequence started.

One of the more controversial moments of the show was Chris' Monologue. During it, he makes jokes about the Boston Marathon Bombings and One World Trade Center (originally called the Freedom Tower), among other things.

I will be honest in saying that I did laugh at some of it. I honestly thought it was funny. I know some people didn't like it, and I definitely understand; I will not say that "it's been over 10 years after the September 11th attacks, and we need to move on; he's just making a joke". It's stupid. But I also won't say "it's too soon to make a joke" either. I did find legitimate humor in this monologue. Regardless, I won't say it was the best monologue of them all, but it isn't the worst either.

How 2 Dance with Janelle/Vlog
The Sketch After is about a girl named Janelle (Sasheer Zamata) who has a popular show on YouTube teaching viewers how to do popular dances. She has a creepy boy (played by KyMoo) over and her father (Rock) comes in furious, forcing Janelle to cut off the show because he believes he may be doing innapropriate dances for horny, creepy pervs.

First off, I will give the producers credit for making the room and YouTube video look look believable.
This was a pretty funny sketch; most of the jokes weren't hilarious, but were chuckle-worthy, with the most funny part came from when Rock barged in his "daughter's" room, him reading the comments like any parent embarrassing their child would, and when Janelle did the dance to the booty song; Teddy and dad's reactions were priceless. Pretty good one here.

GoProbe
Next up, a parody on the GoPro portable digital camera mixed together with a long camera used during a colonoscopy. This was genius because of how the GoPro works and what possibilities the producers could go with it. Sure, there are many others ouut of this, but it was still really funny.

How's He Doing? 2
All four of the black cast members are joined by Chris in the second (of probably few) installment of "How's He Doing?", in which five black TV analysts ask each other how President Obama is doing in second and final term of presidency. And of course, they're praising him to the high heavens. (Guess why.)

This was a weak one, but there were some good laughs here and there. I honestly expect this to appear in an ep later this season and one next season as well. I also think a version of this recurring sketch may happen after the 2016 Election with white cast members had a white president gets elected.

SNL's Shark Tank 2
In the second controversial moment of the episode, members (Rock, KyMoo, Pharaoh and Pete Davidson) of the ever-so-horrible ISIS head to the boardroom to discuss and sell the organization to the Sharks (TKill as Mark Cuban; Kate Mc as Barbara Corcoran; Kenan as Daymond John and Beck Benn as Kevin O'Leary).

I would call this one Shart Tanked, because the writers tried to be edgy and controversial with this skit. They ended up being so for ALL the wrong reasons. But I understand what they were going for. Not to be shocking for a cheap laugh, but to make a satire of ISIS (or ISIL as some call it), using the concept of Shark Tank for the humor and I get that. But they tried to emulate the edginess of the writers of the first five seasons for this, and just missed the mark halfway. I'll give em credit for the nice use of Shark Tank concept here. Also, I love how unaware the Sharks are at the prospect of giving their own money to an immoral and noxious organization hell-bent on destroying the Western hemisphere, like it's just another person selling a new item for your bathroom.

Swiftamine
In another pre-tape in which people are falling in love with Taylor Swift's music, which they don't know is. And when they find out, they reevaluate life. So a prescription medicine was made to calm their fears. Called Swiftamine.

This was another of the best moments of the ep. I totally related with Leslie Jones when I cringed to even think about liking Taylor Swift's music. The medicine concept was smart and hilarious. If I ever feel that way about

The Couple
A couple (Rock & Leslie Jones) are getting ready for a special engagement and have to get ready to leave on an Uber car. But first they argue. A lot.

My God, this was the worst. This was the worst sketch I've ever seen in the 10+ years I've watched this show. Well, it was the first time. It was barely funny, cringe-worthy, unpleasant and lackluster. The jokes by the couple were really sad and uncomfortable, the yelling was annoying, and the thing their daughter (SaZam) said almost made me cry. But the worst part came in the middle when Leslie walked in the set...looked around (assumedly for the right camera or the cue cards; whatever)...and said nothing. That was just so cringe-worthy, it hurts. This was the worst skit of the ep, and of the entire season so far. And this coming from a guy expecting what the Blake Shelton x2 episode will be like.

Robbers
Some criminals hold up a bank and do what you don't think would happen.
You know what's annoying? The taped pieces are hilarious, while the live bits are meh at best. The writers do better with these than the latter, where they barely ever try anymore.
Anyway for the pre-tape itself, it was very funny. Seeing the robbers doing anything other than rob the bank with a high caliber of preparedness was really cool. Also, some of the reactions were chuckle-worthy too.

Women in The Workplace
And finally (Thank God), a commercial for Women in the Workplace. I din't see much the first time, and after watching it again, I didn't think this was all that great.

To be honest, this was the part of the episode I couldn't wait for. Prince is BACK! With new music with his band 3rdEyeGirl, we knew he was gonna shut the stage down, and he did. And then some.

-First off, "Clouds". It has a 90s vibe while still be a recent song. His piano work is wonderful and the chorus is really catchy once you remember it.
-Next is "Plectrumelectrum", which is an awesome guitar solo
-We then go straight to "Marz", a super rockin' dity that lets the guitars do the talking. Man, that was awesome!
-and finally, it's "Another Love", a wonderfully smooth R&B ballad, that goes straight into nothing but guitar
He and 3rdEyeGirl fucking killed.
I'd say that this was the best performance by a musical guest this season (no so far). It's gonna take a lot for me to change my mind and make someone else be the best. Prince killed it, and is the best for the entire season. Bar none.

Update Time
Part 1:

Part 2:

Jost & Che are in the spirit of things...sorta. Both are the same as last time, and of course Michael had more laughs. He did flub a line with the Apple joke, and used Prince's performance to save himself; I cringed hard. I actually like this dude more than the other, but at least Colin had yet to slip up. I feel ashamed to be bored by him.
-Pete Davidson returned for another segment on what the hip young people do these days. Of course he was hilarious, but I feel that throwing him in every other week is going to make his segments look, feel and sound weaker and weaker. Just every three weeks is fine, okay?
-Also appearing were Katt Williams and Suge Knight. Jay's Williams impression was amazing. The way he says "boo-boo" just always gets a rise out of me. Kenan was also great as Suge, but couldn't reach the heights of Pharaoh's Katt impression.

So after reliving the brush fire that was this episode, I learned something: that this ep. wasn't as notoriously terrible as I thought. I still found it really suckish, but to me, these sketches do have a change in opinion after repeated watches. They do get a little more funny after the first time around.
Chris was great as host; he did his absolute best, and made me laugh at some jokes, but at the end of the day, it's still one of the more weaker episodes so far. But I wouldn't be surprised if the audience laughed more loudly if Kevin Hart or Blake Shelton made jokes in their episodes in the next two weeks. Or cheered if someone from The Voice appears. I'd be infuriated, yes, but not surprised.
The black cast members got a big push from the producers this week, appearing in almost all sketches, making the big push relevant thanks to Rock's hosting. (At least that's how I see it). On the white side of things, Kate Mc was the best with her impression of Kaci Hickox beig really good. She really held her own in the sketches she appeared in.
So yeah, weak-ass episode all around.

Tomorrow is the final episode of this little SNL40 Catch-Up session here, hosted by Woody Harrelson, with music by Kendrick Lamar. After watching this episode, that one had to be better. See you then!

SNL 40 Revew: Jim Carrey & Iggy Azalea

Hey, guys.
SNL 40 Review Catch-Up continues with Jim Carrey, still one of the best comic actors around, as host. Let's see what comic craziness he'll conjure up this time.

The CO this squared on President Obama (Jay Pharaoh) giving a press conference on the second person in America that has contracted Ebola. He then changed things over to new Ebola czar Ron Klain (Taran Killam), who will answer questions from reporters (Cecily Strong, Bobby Moynihan, Aidy Bryant and Beck Bennett). Then after he fails to show how he's worthy of the job, for some reason, Reverend Al Sharpton shows up.
This was shit. The jokes weren't funny, Sharpton did not save it, help it and wasn't even needed in it. This is the worst CO so far this season.

Monologue time, as Jim takes the set in a really nice costume. (It IS the Halloween ep, after all) It's a red Elvis-like jumpsuit and attached cape and horns on his head, dressed like The King of Rock 'n Roll himself. We'll call him HElvis.
He performs a song number based on Mr. Presley's assumed favorite snack--peanut butter and banana sandwiches. TKill, CecStrong, Sasheer Zamata and Kenan Thompson join in on-stage to give it a bigger pop.

This is the best monologue of the season so far; the song is funny and catchy, Jim's impression of Elvis was awesome, the Helivs sign at the end was so damn cool, the choir joined in during the song was way cool.


The Sketch After is a family reunion of sorts for good ol' Jim. And the members are quite colorful. In fact, so colorful, they may remind you of some people. This skit was real genius, combining cast members/family members with some of his most famous film characters:
TKill as Jay (Possibly my favorite of it all for how he has the speech mannerisms down pat)
Kyle Mooney as Percy/
Beck Benn and Nessa B as John & Rita/Ace Ventura
Pharaoh as Cable Guy Eddie Torres/Ernie "Chip" Douglas--The Cable Guy
CecStrong as Aunt Kay, and
Moyni as Cousin Wayne/Stanley Ipkiss/The Mask (Second Best of the skit)
His Dumb & Dumber movies co-star Jeff Bridges makes a cameo as Grandpa Lloyd aka Lloyd Christmas, and God does he hold his own here.
The downside is The Riddler from Batman Forever shows up out of nowhere to be in the family picture. That's a shame, because I wished he could have a couple lines in it, but NO! We get the ass-mouth couple instead.
I have to say this was the best sketch so far, but since this ep is hosted by Jim Carrey, we may have some contenders in the wings.

Graveyard Song
The next sketch takes place at a cemetery, where a couple (SaZam and Pete Davidson) are going to have a spooky night ahead. Then, without warning, two headstones, a walking statue and a tree with a face start singing as if we're riding the Haunted Mansion ride at Disneyland. Screwing up the rag-tag group's plans for their deaths are Paul and Phil (TKill and JCarrey), whose part in song basically involves their names repeated over and over.

This one did have some funny parts (Paul and Phil's introduction, the tree's goofy-ass voice and dialogue [like he's a 7-year-old girl], and how goofy this whole thing is. It's not that great, but it is enjoyable.

Secret Billionaire
In what has to be a spoof of Secret Millionaire, a woman named Stacy has met four men,
(Mike, an obnoxious internet genius
Gordon, a nice but dorky owner of retail chain
Abbot Bonneville Cane, member of the Illuminati, and
Tony, Hip-Hop mogul)
with one of them being billionaire.
Oh man, this skit was shit. I pretty much knew the second he spoke, that the funnier lines would be coming from Carrey, and even they suck.
Also, an obvious goof. Near the top of the sketch, we see a white-haired man from out of nowhere getting into a seat, we assume. Later, it's Carrey in a wheelchair. OOPS.

High School/Zombie Attack
In Powder Springs, Georgia, during a major zombie apocalypse (Oh God), four teenagers (KyMoo, Beck Benn, CecStrong & Kenan) band together to protect and save each other from the flesh-eating monsters. A father also on defense mode brings his son (Pete Dave) along, but he doesn't realize that he's a zombie.

As soon as "Attack" came up on screen, I knew this skit would be following the zombie trend, made popular by The Walking Dead of course. This one was super crap. Carrey just doesn't help help the teenagers are stupid as fuck (they just can't tell that's a zombie in front of them!) and Kenan makes a shitty Southern accent.

Office Costume Contest
It's Halloween at the office and everyone has shown up in their best costumes for an annual contest. Karen shows up as Maddie Ziegler from the video of Sia's "Chandelier", and Rick shows up as...Maddie Ziegler from the video of Sia's "Chandelier". So a face-off to determine the winner in the form of a dance-off of whoever can perform the vid's dance the best way possible.

None of them can do it, but that's the best part of the segment, which started off lackluster, put picked up as soon as Rick came in. Creator/executive producer Lorne Michaels and musical guest Iggy Azalea both appear in the skit: Michaels flatly refusing in his 20th time showing his face on-camera, and Iggy also showing up as Maddie, doing something way better than the abominations--uh, performances by her you'll see later below in the review.

Lincoln Ads

Oh and I should mention this: during the first half-hour of the episode, Jim is a perfect imitation Matthew McConaughey in the spoof of his ads for the Lincoln Motor Company. These promos were perfectly hilarious and shows that SNL can be more funnier when the pre-tapes air.

I don't know if it's Iggy Azalea's fault her performances were craptastic, but since a lot of people hate her and/or her music, I can believe them to a certain extant. But to be honest, it was craptastic. The audio was fuzzy, Iggy's vocals were bad, there was popping, the dancing was a bigger joke than most of the sketches, and the best parts were both Rita Ora's surprise guest performance and the end of both sets. Yes, it was THAT bad. So bad, it made me think that the people in the control room hate her too, so they intentionally messed with the sound. No one really cared for Azalea performances; it was all about Jim Carrey, but then virtual unknown MO came and everyone's talking about them.
See for yourself.
Here's the medley of "Fancy" and "Black Widow" with Rita Ora.

And "Beg For It" with MO/ (can't put the slash in the O. My God, this had disaster written all over it, especially on her.

I felt sorry for MO because of the stuff that happened during the performance. This shit shouldn't have happened to her, but it's live television, and things like this happen and will stay a part of the annals of TV history forever. She had this to say a few days later:
"I was beyond EXCITED (!!!) -- but unfortunately I had some technical issues which caused latency on my vocals, and as a result I got confused and my timing was off. It pains me and I'm SO sad today. But life goes on..."
And another thing, I would've loved Iggy's ass if it wasn't so fake.
Update Time:
Jost bored me. When I watched this ep. the first time, everything that came out of his mouth almost put me to sleep. Che was still great.

So, yeah. I though this would be a great show, but but it lacked BIG TIME. Jim did his best, and that was great. And the cast tried to. But I honestly felt that the writers wrote the best jokes catered to him and any joke written for the cast either misses completely or is good, but leaves a lot to be desired.
Also, this annoys me. I would love to see all cast members get a shot to be in at least one sketch every week, but some cast members always get the spotlight to be in more than one. Some of the biggest offenders are Booby Moynihan, Taran Killam, Kenan Thompson, Cecily Strong, Kate McKinnon and Aidy Bryant. I know they're all popular among the group and talented, but for Christ's sake, they take up more screen-time than the other cast members! Can't Lorne, the writers and the producers give the other cast members some time? I know they're trying, but the other cast members have talent. Please, writers and producers, give the other cast members more equal time. Please, for me? Okay, you might not read this, so my opinion's pointless.

Tomorrow, the Catch-Up continues with...Chris Rock. Ugh. See you then!!

Pissed-Off Wife Cuts Off Cheater Husband's Penis...TWICE (*shiver*)

WARNING: Contains content some readers may find disturbing

Men, take this word for it: DO NOT PISS OFF YOUR WIVES. It'll cost you a major organ. Like this man in China did. In fact, it was his penis.

37-year-old Fan Lung decided to use the cellphone of his wife, 21-year-old Feng, to cheat on her. The mistress in question: Zhang Hung, also 21-years-old. When the fornication session ended, Fan forgot one important thing: DELETING THE MESSAGE!

One night after reading the message, and therefore learning he cheated on her, his wife was understandably pissed. But she didn't let her husband and father of five children off that easy. Nope. She didn't kick him out the house. She didn't burn his stuff. And she didn't beat him up. She went into their bedroom while he slept...and cut his dick off. He later went to the local hospital to have it surgically reattached...only for Feng to find him and cuts his cock off again!!. And this time, it's off for good. She throws it out the hospital window to the ground below.

After he couldn't take the pain of losing his rod anymore, Fan chased Feng out of the hospital (losing blood in the process) and into the street, getting into a fight with her. Hospital workers ran outside to see all the craziness going on.
A spokesperson for the hospital had this to say:

“Staff rushed out to see what was happening and found the patient with blood streaming down his legs hitting the woman. He was stopped and the woman was taken in for treatment, and then we discovered she had chopped his penis off again.”

After the fight, husband and wife were taken inside: Feng to recover from the fight and Fan for losing blood from his now-permanently-destroyed rocket. Despite searches for and finding the spot where his dislodged doinker was found, local authorities were unable to find it. Meanwhile, his dime had this to say on the matter:
“It doesn’t matter that he’s lost his fertility. He has five children already.”

First of all, what the hell kind of man uses his wife's cellphone to send an email to his side chick?? Secondly, who still sends emails as a primary use of sending messages? And Third, how crafty was the wife for sneaking into hospital and doing the dirty deed a second time? And fourth, who found this hilarious?
When I first read the story, I laughed uncontrollably. In fact, when all I read was "In China", I lost it. Because if I know any one race who can settle revenge with a blade, it's the Chinese. But this is just rich.

Dude, you're a fucking idiot.
--First, for underestimating your wife
--Second, for cheating on her
--Third, for using her cellphone to cheat on her
--Fourth, for LEAVING THE EVIDENCE on her phone
--Fitfh, for cheating while being a five-time father, and
--Sixth, for keeping the door to your hospital unlocked

(BTW, I don't condone cheating; but if you do, it's smart to erase the messages)

Plus, the side chick, Zhang Hung, is a dumb bitch. What she said about losing his skin flute was stupid. Saying “It doesn’t matter that he’s lost his fertility. He has five children already.” is like saying "It doesn't matter if I can't eat candy anymore because I have diabetes, I can still eat meat and ice cream". It really sounds like she still wants to get busy with Fan or is done being his secret freak toy. You do know that if you're helping a guy cheat on his wife, don't you need a third leg for that?

Anyway, I think what Fan Feng did to Fan Lung's bald-headed yogurt slinger for cheating, while absolutely sickening, was absolutely awesome. (I don't condone chopping body parts off either) That dumbasshole deserved what he got for cheating on her. Especially for doing something so stupid like using her phone for cheating and leaving a message on her phone.
But hey...things could have gotten worse. His nuts could've gotten the short end of the stick too.

Saturday Night Live 40 Review: Bill Hader & Hozier

Hey everyone.
The SNL 40 Review Catch-Up continue this week, and joining them is this episode hosted by Bill Hader, the 8-year cast member who makes his return to the show after leaving two years ago at the end of Season 38. I just have to say after the premiere, I was wrong. This is the best episode of the season so far.
Hader hosted the episode guns blazing. He brought back some of his fan-favorite characters and impressions including Herb Welsh of WPXD News New York, war veteran/ventriloquist Anthony Peter Coleman with his puppet Tony, and Weekend Update city correspondent STEFON!! And he didn't miss a beat or slow down; his performance was amazing. So amazing, it's like the other cast members were trying to keep up with him. It's like he never left.
Bill Hader was my all time favorite cast-member of all of SNL, and I loved all of his work on the show, so being excited to hear that he'll be hosting an episode this season, and to see him back on Studio 8H is a complete understatement.

As we begin, the Cold Open takes place in North Korea where Dear Leader to them (and Dear Pain in the Ass to us all) Kim Jong Un (played by Bobby Moynihan) has been away from the public for a long time, and his guards (all the other white male cast members) is worried about his health. Un gets his fat ass up to deny he is horrible shape (he's actually an Olympian), and proves it to his guards in embarrassing ways.
This was a good CO, showing off Mr. Moyni well as the Dear Leader and gave him the chance to do some really good dancing.

After that and the usual, Bill walks out to the stage for his monologue, and instead of standing with the host for a minute, he's there the entire time. And he's nervous. After a brief synopsis of his life before, during and after his time as an SNL cast member He then goes for a song, but mentions he has a voice like Harvey Fierstein.

Fellow former cast member and co-star of his critically-acclaimed film The Skeleton Twins Kristen Wiig joined him on stage to give him a push to sing. Things didn't turn out great. Fortunately, Mr. Fierstein came to save the night, teaching Bill that it's best not to sing from your head, but from your peni--I mean, heart. The Bill gets to sing! This was a really funny Mono.

The Sketch After featured a return of one of Hader's popular characters, Herb Welch, reporter of WPXD News New York. His report this time centers on an epidemic of teen sex and teen pregnancies at a local high school. Of course, things don't go well as planned.

Of course, Bill doesn't miss a beat. That cranky curmudgeon of an old man still makes me laugh with his misunderstandings, racism- and ignorance-tinged remarks and ability to end his reports quickly with not much style and certainly very little grace.

"The Group Hopper" Trailer
Next, a pre-taped trailer spoofing the ever-popular post-apocalyptic, dire-straits, woe-is-me, fight-to-the-death, straight-from-a-book, teen movies. A guy (Pete Davidson) is thrown into a world of choice (but not his actually) as he must be part of a group of people who are born to...be a part of a group.

This spoof was a brilliant one, tackling all the characteristics and tropes of such films and blending them all together in such a perfect package. And Hader was great as a parody of Effie Trinket, a man/woman with hooves that can ruin a low ceiling.


Later on, a brilliant sketch spoofing Hollywood Game Night. Kate McKinnon was great as host Jane Lynch, with everyone else doing amazing as the celebrities they're portraying:
-Cecily Strong as Sofia Vergara
-TKill as Christoph Waltz
-Jay Pharaoh as Morgan Freeman
-Beck Bennett as Nick Offerman (if fact, he was so damn good, the audience either thought so too, or thought that the real Offerman was in the sketch)
-Bill as Al Pacino, and
-Wiig as Kathie Lee Gifford (although I find her portrayal so annoying because of her mean-spirited behavior toward Hoda Kotb)
Although, I wish celebrities portrayed on this show aren't so stupid or absent-minded; it's annoying and doesn't really make a sketch great. I know it can work, but there are other ways to have celebrities in a sketch act normal, and still make it funny. This is kind of an an embarrassment, especially for Freeman and Offerman; they know better, dammit. At least Lynch was on the same page here. Oh, and the contestants (Vanessa Bayer & Aidy Bryant) don't do much. That clearly doesn't happen on HGN. It's like the producers only saw the celebrity parts of the show and used that. Know what? Forget it; it's still great.

39 Cents
Just like this next pre-tape, mocking those commercials in which cheap white people beg other to send pocket change to them to help destitute people of destitute countries survive another day.

My God, this was brilliant, brilliant, brilliant. Hader was great as Charles Daniels, but the true stars of the show were Kenan, Pharaoh, SaZam and (especially) Leslie Jones as the destitute people. Everything they said and their perfect timing on Daniels really made this sketch. Plus, the fact they chose a low amount of money to send to these companies in their commercials was really spot-on. Makes no sense to give low if these folks want the destitute to survive at least a month. I applaud all who appeared in the sketch, even Nessa B. as the assistant with the coffee.
When I first saw this and laughed hard at Leslie Jones' dialogue, I said to myself, "She has got to be a cast member; they just have to promote her."

And just a few days later, my hopes and wishes (along with those of pretty much everyone else) would come true and by the next episode (hosted by Jim Carrey), Leslie is now a full-fledged featured cast member of SNL.

"Love is A Dream": A Tribute to Jan Hooks
After this, Bill & Kristen return to the main set to present a tribute to Jan Hooks, one of the most memorable and beloved female cast members in the show's history. Jan passed away on October 9, 2014, from cancer. In this tribute is a beautiful pre-recorded video, "Life is A Dream" starring her and fellow cast member of the time, Phil Hartman, who himself is one of the most memorable and beloved male cast members in its history.
This was an absolutely wonderful tribute to Ms. Hooks and sent me to tears after watching it. May she and Mr. Hartman rest in peace.

Puppet Class 2/Coleman & Tony

Another fan-favorite of Hader's characters also returned--Anthony Peter Coleman and his puppet Tony. We start this skit in Puppet Class in the Learning Annex. Three ventriloquists-in-training are learning to master the craft and two of them (CecStrong and Moyni), their puppets and the teacher (TKill) are in for a rude awakening when the other is a part of the class--Coleman and Tony.
This segment is funnier than the last one. The further insight into Coleman & Tony was endearing to the sketch, and all of Tony's jokes were so damn hilarious.

"It like a cookout, and we were the meat. And I used my best friend as an umbrella!"

"I was not charged with war crimes."

"If I had to use emojis to describe my time in Crimea, it would be: palmtree, flamethrower, baby, flamethrower, mosquito, mosquito, mosquito, mosquito..."

"I did not lose a full year of my life in porno theaters."

"Here's a joke--GOD."

"I was a honeypot, a sex trap; I DID WHAT I HAD TO DO."

"Can you tell me how to get--" "How to get THE NIGHTMARES TO STOP?"

And I felt that the other puppet-masters (Moyni and CecStrong) were there just so we can ignore them and watch Coleman and Tony. Meh. This was a great skit.

Inside SoCal
After the break, a pre-tape by Mooney & Bennett; sound be good.

I always love the old-school vibe their shorts give. The production makes it fantastic. Also, the weird concepts of these are great; you never expect what happens here. You thing something happens, but something else does. And if something you expect happens, it gets taken up to a high level of insanity. However, the jokes here were flat; I actually laughed only twice. So this isn't the best I've seen from Beck & Kyle this season. I know they'll do better next time; they're that good.

Cat
This Ten-to-One Sketch is something Dr. Seuss would write in a world where he's gotten drunk one day and wrote to release a demon in his brain. One day day, Sally and Nick (Aidy & Pete Dave) are inside during a rainy day. They are bored and ask their mother (CecStrong) what to do. Then someone at the door comes in; it's The Cat in the Hat (Hader)! to the kids' amazement and their mom's...horror. Cat tries to juggle making the kids' day better and making sense of his former flame's new life without him. Then, their father (THING 2! aka TKill) shows up.

This twist in the skit made this one the best, in which Cat hope to save the day, but ends up a pest. And the reveal of what made Cat a bother, is that he may be Sally's so-very true father. This just made me howl like a wolf to the moon, and read people's tweets on Twitter like an affable goon. And Thing 2 showing up would make this much more crazy, with the thing Cat says at the end was extremely hazy.

"But Oh, The Places She Let Me Go."

This time around, the musical guest is of actual talent: not only can he sing, he can also write, play guitar and make truly soulful and powerful music that can make a army veteran cry. His name: Andrew Hozier-Byrne. But here, we'll call him Hozier.
The two performances he does were just fantastic. The music, the lyrics, the vocals, the vibe. Everything was fantastic.
So instead of just saying how great they were individually, I'll just give a rundown of both songs:

"Take Me to Church" is a gospel-tinged rock love ballad about Hozier comparing his lover's love and sex to religion. It's also written as commentary on sexuality in his native Ireland and on Russia with it's attack on the people of the LGBT community.

"Angel of Small Death and the Codeine Scene" is a bluesy song of rock & soul about, I assume to be, a guy who falls for a girl whose love is like a drug. The love he receives is painful, but the feelings are so good, he couldn't leave her.
These songs contain beautiful and powerful lyrics that take the listener in, and puts their emotions in a corner, putting you in a dark and dreary world that you can't escape until the song ends (In fact this dark and dreary world in his music is based on our dark and dreary world, so it has a touch of real life in it). But it sounds so amazing that that you want to get locked in it again. It's so damn good. He's so damn good. He has so much talent that it would be a crime for him not to pursue music.
Overall, Hozier did that shit and he rocked it. He will go very far in music; I just know it.

(On a side note, I just love the part of his "Angel of Small Death" performance when he gives a big smile during his guitar solo. Made me give a big smile as well. I just love it.)

Update Time:
Well, Jost & Che have gotten better as a team. Colin is still boring, but he has gotten the hang of anchoring, and Michael has stopped flubbing lines and proven himself. I honestly see they both doing better each week, but the fans of the show and people giving them shit for no reason just isn't giving them the time or credit. I will though.

Anyway, it's (at the time) fall in New York and--you know where I'm going with this. STEFON'S BACK!!!

He really hasn't missed a beat with him. The kid we all know and love with his strange recommendations to even stranger New York hotspots over the years has become a hallmark of modern-day SNL. So to be super-excited for his return (something we all still know would happen) was an understatement. His jokes all worked (like they wouldn't):
-His puzzled look after meeting Jost & Che ("One of each." "Barack, Mitt.")
-His way of pronouncing and enunciating the names of the hotspots
-The repeated mention of former MTV VJ Dan Cortese
-and of course, those weird, creepy hotspots that Stefon has recomended for years.
Another great thing of note: Stefon's pregnant!!
Congrats to him and husband Seth Meyers.

And with that, the end to another show and another review.
My God, what an episode! Every sketch was great, made me laugh, and featured some well beloved characters that Bill just couldn't pass up to reprise and us to watch again and fall in love with one more time.
Everyone did great in some capasity this week (even writer Leslie Jones), with the biggest offenders being Moyni and CacStrong appearing in almost all of them. I did get annoyed by this, but I didn't mind. They did great. Everyone did.

And that ends another review. Tomorrow Jim Carrey returns to SNL to host the Halloween episode. Will he be insane? Yes. Will he be funny? Yes. Will Iggy Azalea rock the stage? NO. Of course, I've got my review. See you then!

Saturday Night Live 40 Review: Sarah Silverman & Maroon 5

Welcome back to my Review catch-up of SNL 40.
After such a great start to the season last week, I couldn't wait to see who would continue the wave of excitement, awesome and hilarious.

Then I saw the title card for the second show and thought..."Ehh, okay?".
I have heard of Sarah Silverman before, especially with her old Comedy Central show "The Sarah Silverman Programme", but I wasn't completely sold on her humor. It was childish and immature, even for a female comedian. So looking back, I at least thought I could adjust my standards (coming from a guy who found "Imma butter them biscuits and flap them jacks" & "CRACK-CRACK-CRACK" gut-busting) so I could watch it and enjoy it as much as the last episode.
Well, let's check it out.

(Some of the sketches do not have a clip on YT or Yahoo, so here is the full episode from Hulu below with the dress rehearsal version used instead of those of the live show)

The episode begins with the Cold Open in the form of Steve Croft's (Beck Bennett) "interview" of President Obama (Jay Pharaoh) on CBS' 60 Minutes. Obama talked about ISIS and terrorists spending their days on the Internet, mostly on Twitter. For once, this political CO was hilarious! The responses Obama made were really good and the use of Twitter tweets was genius! (and on a side note, I wondered how Bennett quickly went from the green screen used for the 60 Minutes set to the White House interview set that quickly, but I won't get into that.)


After the usual, first-time host Sarah made her first appearance on SNL since 1993, when she was a featured cast member, but was fired after that one season. During her monologue, she also mentions that some jokes she wrote got censored, which was hilarious.
She then grabs a mic, goes to the audience and sit on the lap of a female member named Lindsay (that's the spelling I'll use here). She tells Lindsay some wonderful things about her, and then gives the mic to Lindsay, asking her to say good things about her. This was also hilarious, especially when she threw it to Lindsay.
My favorite part of the Mono was when Sarah took questions from the audience. And by audience I mean her when she was usually planted in the audience during her stint as a featured member. What makes it genius is using the old clips unedited and melded them into it, as if she's being asked by herself. That was just perfect.
This Monologue really funny and enjoyable.

The Ebola in Our Everything Pre-Tape
Straight after was a pre-taped sketch spoofing the hit teen film adaption of the hit teen novel, "The Fault in Our Stars". But instead of cancer, the beautiful lady here has Ebola.

Okay, the fact that the show was spoofing the film was funny enough, but taking the very-recent Ebola outbreak and using that as the twist of the pre-tape was genius. Silverman and Taran Killam made it work as the lady looking for love while battling the somehow-not-airborne disease and the guy who does love her but is trying to get away from her as possible. Kenan Thompson also did a great job as Terrance Howard (the voice works to his advantage).

Heaven/Joan Rivers
The Sketch After the Monologue takes place in Heaven as some of the most influential figures in history (at least some that the producers can find for resemblance with the cast), Eartha Kitt (Sasheer Zamata) as hostess, celebrate as another influential figure joins them in spirit. Her name: Joan Rivers (Sarah). Ms. Rivers then proceeds to roast on the figures joining her on the celestral stage: Richard Pryor (Pharaoh), Steve Jobs (Kyle Mooney?; couldn't tell), Ava Gardner (Cecily Strong), Benjamin Franklin (Bobby Moynihan), Freddie Mercury (Adam Levine, frontman of musical guest Maroon 5 and unfortunate previous host) and Lucille Ball (Kate McKinnon).

This sketch was a wonderful tribute to Ms. Rivers, who was the comedienne who paved the way for other comediennes to be who and where they are today. I will say that this sketch was funny, and would've been hilarious had Silverman not flub some of her lines. I did think this intentional because Rivers did flub lines sometimes, but I wasn't very sure. And of all the people who that did talk in this sketch, why did it have to be Mercury (Levine)? The impression was terrible, the slip-in of a line from one of Queen's songs wasn't needed and Levine only remotely looks like him. The plus here All in all, beautiful.

Whites Pre-Tape
Later on, another pre-tape; this time about...White people.

I didn't know why this exists, but it does. Even though I'm black, I did find it hilarious, more because of how awkwardly accurate it was; that the White race will no longer be the dominate race in America in the next few decades. The first time I saw this, I was weirded out that a pre-tape like this was made. But now I get it; and I can laugh at it. Especially at how nonchalant and happy they are.

After this, a skit about "Forgotten TV Gems", TV shows that no one watched and have been discovered today and brought to us by host Reese De'What (Kenan, of course). The show reviewed is "Supportive Women"

There were a few good laughs here and there, but it wasn't the best for me. Honestly, if they want to talk about "Forgotten TV Gems", they should take a look at NBC for a bit. (Hey-O!)

River Cruise
Next, on a steamboat cruise, passengers are treated to the performance of a "lunchtime" (no, not a typo; the guy really said that). The host (Kenan) introduces the crowd to Tina Turner impersonators (Silverman, SaZam and CecStrong). During their performance of "Proud Mary", their reveal some embarrassing moments previously in their lives. It's not pretty.
No, seriously. It's really not a pretty sketch. I was bored throughout the whole thing, and the jokes were really flat. A few were hits, but I was being generous here, because this one may have been the worst of the bunch, especially days after the show aired. I watched a report on Inside Edition that reveals that the writers and producers may have stolen ideas from a similar sketch by legendary comedy troupe The Groundlings. Ian Gary, a writer for the troupe, claims that the show swiped elements from a sketch they did not too long during the summer. Including wigs, costumes and concept (Tina Turner impersonators recount their pasts and how they became Tina Turner impersonators). But the jokes are different. Here's a quote from an article on The Hollywood Reporter's website:

"...over the years I have seen MANY, MANY sketches flat out stolen from my friends by Saturday Night Live. Nearly verbatim. Word for word... And everyone in our community goes 'Oh man. That sucks.' and nobody says anything because I guess SNL is still some dream for some people or they don't want to get involved, or a million other reasonable things that stop people from standing up for each other when things are blatantly wrong. This is fucked up. This is stupid. And we have the means to make people aware of blatant rip offs of other peoples material. It doesn't need to be a witch hunt. It doesn't need to be pointing fingers, assigning blame, or taking sides. But a simple case of what's right and wrong."

Here's the video of the Groundlings's sketch (starring Kimberly Condict and Vanessa Ragaland) for comparison: Wow. As much as I wanna elicit sympathy for the Groundlings, because the sketch was stolen, I will say that at least SNL improved on the concept, because that was bad. Really bad. I know the singing voices were intentional, but the slow music made it brain-burning boring. So...at least they could sing.

Home From Vacation
At least this next skit was original (I hope) and (I swear). A woman (Sarah) has come home from Amsterdam and reveals some shocking news to her brother (TKill) that, while there, she met a guy and cheated on her fiance Jeff (Moyni). [ouch] What makes this painful, is that Jeff is in the back seat, waiting to propose marriage to her. [ouch] Jeff is understandably pissed, and will continue to be now that a radio report (voiced by Kenan) gives the three news that after going to or coming from JFK will be bumper-to-bumper traffic for miles ahead, leaving them stuck for hours. [ouch] Then her parents (Kate Mc and Beck Benn) come from behind, hoping to celebrate a new marriage [OUCH], and Adam Levine also pops out, planning to sing "She Will Be Loved". [OUCH] So now, -- is left in her own conundrum, horrified and humiliated that the man she loves now knows she's a cheater. Okay, this was bitingly hilarious. How this was crafted together and executed made it well-done. This is my favorite of the night.

Vitamix
After that, a spoof on the informercial on kitchen appliances; this one a high-powed blender. The owner (Nessa B.) talks with her friend (Sarah) about how it works, and the amazed aquaintance then asks how much it costs. The woman tries to evade the cost topic to mention the blend options speeds and gets sidelined by the friend every time. She then says some out-of-left-field shit about her friend's income. A spat ensues. This sketch really puzzles me; not that it was terrible, but that this show is mostly humor, not melodrama. And this skit happens to be melodrama. It really grabbed me and almost made me feel sorry for the friend and see the blender owner as a bitch. Then the ending came in, and made me remember that it's a comedy show. It's not a bad sketch, but it wasn't great either.

This time around, the musical guest is Maroon 5. The partial namesake of the blog returned to the SNL music stage for the fifth time. The set-up (many strobe lights grouped around a huge V [named for their fifth album Five] [Why it isn't pronounced V like the roman numeral puzzles me.]) looked awesome as hell. The songs they performed were not. How they performed them, however, were. First up, "Animals". As you remember, I named this song as my pick for the third Worst Pop/Indie Song of 2014. But the performance of the song was...admittedly great. Especially at the end. The energy from Levine and the 6 guys who are also members of the band that still probably play, give off a vibe that can touch you and--no, that's sick. They had that energy you can feel--ew. Well, they just had that energy. Their second performance is "Maps". I was surprised when I realized that the song I liked more than Animals had a less than better performance than the former song. It was good, but somehow I like "Animals" better. Don't get me wrong, I still hate that song, but that performance was better. Overall, Maroon 5 did great for their fifth performance.


Update Time:
Part 1:

Part 2:


Well, Jost & Che have gotten better. While Che has gotten his act together and gotten more comfortable in his role, Jost, however, is still the same. He's slow, boring and has a blank stare that'll either put you to sleep or put you to death.

Kenan makes an appearance as Reverend Al Sharpton, discussing how African Americans believe that President Obama isn't protected well enough by the Secret Service. This part dragged on a bit, but Kenan did good as Sharpton. He kept it up and made it watchable to not bore me. Although the joke about mispronouncing words like MSNBC wore thin. Really thin.

The next segment involving Jost & Che asking each other which words they can't say, like Bae (stupid ass word!), toodle-loo (unless you have a death wish), In Da Club (which makes you look like a damn fool), and "Thank You for Your Help, Officer" was hilarious. It did give Jost more of a nicer vibe when interacting together.

The final segment featured Kate Mc & Silverman as a female music duo named Garage & Her. (And I don't give a damn what the true enunciation is, Garage; it ain't funny) They are here responding to news that Marvel has created a new female version of superhero Thor, so they sing a song about it about female identity and appreciation, which is basically saying that some things are a woman. The song was funny and sweet, and could be a good song to play to show that women are just important in the world. Sorta.
And with that from now on, my thoughts on Update will be shorter to something like "Jost is still boring me" and "Che is not", because why am I wasting my time with this; it's the same opinion over and over again.

Best Sketches:
Heaven/Joan Rivers
Home from Vacation
Vitamix
Whites
honorable mentions
Ebola in Our Everything
Obama/60 Minutes
Worst Sketches:
Forgotten TV Gems
River Cruise

So this was a pretty good episode. There were some jokes that made me really laugh and Silverman did a very good job doing her best being funny in the sketches, but shined in the monologue where she was the only one there. Most of the sketches were so-so some that were funny left a lot to be desired and the ones that fell flat fell flatter than the the new iPhone that gave many Asian carpel tunnel. Too bad.
The cast do get some chances to shine, but fall flat, too, except Pete Davidson. He didn't show up at all this week. I guess that "Would You Go Down on a Guy" bit he did landed him some sort of bye week; Poor guy.

Fortunately, there is the next review to lift us up. Tune in tomorrow when former Bill Hader returns to the SNL stage for his first time as host. You KNOW it's gonna be funny. I mean, STEFON!!
See you then!

Saturday Night Live 40 Review: Chris Pratt & Ariana Grande

Hey everyone.
Since I started the SNL 40 Reviews really late (as in November 22 late), I'm giving us a quick catch-up of the season before the 17th, when the show returns like with Kevin Hart as host and Sia as musical guest. So, of course, let's begin with the season premiere, which I thought, right off the bat as the best episode so far this season, and might keep its title after the mediocre episodes that aired after it.

Host Chris Pratt has had a huge year. Besides starring in the ultra-praised Parks and Recreation, he's also done big things in film, starring in The Lego Movie, one of the biggest-selling and best-reviewed animated films of all time and Guardians of the Galaxy, the second-biggest-selling film of the year and the best film I saw at the movies, and in will be starring in Jurassic World coming later this year, among others. So there's no denying that he a big movie star and will continue to be for the next few years. And that's big enough to be the first host of SNL big historic fortieth season.

So let's get started with the first cold open...which was boring as hell and tedious.
It's a spoof of CNN's State of the Union with Candy Crawley, who as you know is leaving the network in . Aidy Bryant portrays Crowley and her guests were former Ravens linebacker Ray Lewis (Kenan Thompson) and hall-of-famer Shannon Sharpe (Jay Phaoroh). Host Chris Pratt briefly appears as Commissioner Roger Goddell.

This was barely funny and was frustrating for the most part, because Aidy messes up a few of her lines and makes this skit slower than it should be. Kenan and Jay do their best, but does save this sketch from being a wallbanger, but doesn't make it great. I know 5 minutes is kinda long, even for the SNL opening sketch, but this dragged on for what felt like between 10 minutes and an eternity. I feel sorry for the members in this sketch, but their performances don't make it work.

And now that that's over, "Live form New York, It's Saturday Night"! (sorta.)

Now for a bit (I promise), let's talk about the latest title sequence. My God, is it beautiful. Like pretty much every open, it features sweeping shots of New York City mixed together with the starring and featured cast members. What makes the cast shots cool, is that their names, when shown, move with their movements. And then their initials are briefly. Also, the wonderful retro vibe the sequence gives off. The camera angles and shots like like those of the 70s (Check out the sequence from the first seasons on YT for comparison).


After being blown away by the open, the awesome-ness continued onto the host set, where Chris performed his monologue. His wife, actress Anna Faris, appears to show him major support. The Mono song was a goofy and awkward ditty, and that made it funny and sweet.



Straight after, a pre-taped sketch mocking Cialis about a strange prescription medicine for erectile dysunction...while having the feeling of going to the club and getting crazy...also known as getting turnt up. (ugh) It's called Cialis Turnt. (sigh)

It's funny, but also corny. This is a pre-taped that isn't about a current event topic. This fake Cialis ad could've aired during the 30-something seasons and would've fit perfectly.

He-Man & Lion-O
The Sketch After the Monologue features Kyle Mooney as a young boy named Danny who makes a wish on his birthday for his toys, He-Man & Lion-O from Thundercats, to come to life. (Why this sketch with 80s toys that takes place in this decade is beyond me) After the blow on his candle (and some mysterious lights coming from nowhere for a few seconds), his wish actually comes true. His action figure toys (Pratt and Taran Killam, respectively), have become human-sized and interactive with Danny. But things don't go to plan; they instead want his Birthday cake, like his older sister, find joy in touching their privates (which the sensation of them suddenly growing also give them a liking). Danny's mother also takes a liking to them. Creepy.

This was a super funny skit, playing off the fact that the toys have barely brains to use and do whatever tickles their fancy. Also, although Ari did a really good job as She-Ra, I felt she didn't need to be in this sketch other than to wear She-Ra's outfit. Replace her with any white female member and not much changes. It just feels the same. All in all, this was a weird yet funny sketch.

Vet Office 2

Next up--oh God!! I hate this crap sketch!! This recurring stinker of a sketch debuted last season in Episode #9 hosted by Josh Hutcherson. It's a sketch at an animal hospital, where the nurses are talking about their day and help visitors with their pets' medical problems in terrible ways. This was the worst sketch, and since this sketch felt like one that felt one-and-done, I really didn't expect it to come back this season. It wasn't funny, it was really forced, and those Southern accents were God-awful.
I honestly don't have the time to explain more. I HATE THIS SKIT!

Marvel Trailer
Fortunately, something great came after that.
This pre-tape is loosely based on Marvel's success after Guardians of the Galaxy, a very obscure and almost unknown comic book turned into a huge monster smash movie and one of the biggest of the year. So in this spoof, the company decides to replicate the success by producing and releasing films that are completely made-up and have no story to build off from. They pretty much know they'll make a lot of money, just by slapping the Marvel name on top. THIS. IS. GENIUS!!

It just has to be funny and creative to take the success of something no one's heard of, and mock it in the way of other things no one knows about and release them to huge success. Great job, writers. Great job. Although the repeated use of the start of Hooked on A Feeling was annoying.

Booty Rap
The next sketch takes place at a bar, where a group of ladies and a bunch of guys separately have a night out. One of the ladies (Aidy) goes to one of the guys (Chris) tries to ask him out, and does so in a very...liberating manner.

The guy also has a way of peeking his interest.
I'm gonna say this: This is funny as hell. The fact that it started out as a normal, random sketch and turned into this absurd, out-of-nowhere rap-song-skit based off of Nicki Minaj's annoyingly popular "Anaconda". This was a genius concept and genius execution. Chris is genius with his lines about buttering them biscuits and flapping them jacks and CRACK-CRACK-CRACK, but using Aidy as the lady rapping to ask the guy out was a gold mine. Her mannerism and her having, and I quote, "a big fat ass" really make it work just as well. This just has to be one of my favorite sketches.

Bad Boys Pre-Tape
Later, another pre-taper; this time by Kyle Mooney and Beck Bennett, with Pratt appearing as their friend Maxie. It's pretty much a parody of sitcoms from the 90s. Right down to the post-production, dialogue, camera work and segues. And it's genius...but at first I was confused by it. But now I noticed, that's the point. It's supposed to be confusing. With the way 90s sitcoms were like, that makes sense. And that makes it all the more funny.


NFL Intros
The NFL on CBS is the setup for the following skit. Players of the Baltimore Ravens and Carolina Panthers appear for the usual roll call (you know, their name, rank, and college they went to). But instead of that last one, the players instead state physical or mental crimes they all committed over the past several years.

This was a hilarious sketch all around. But the funniest part came when LesJones comes in unexpectedly to say a crime she committed: Hitting her husband right back. I laughed so hard I thought I whole the neighborhood! (Okay, maybe I didn't do that; but it was still hilarious.)

And finally, the last sketch of the episode is Puzzle World 6, in which a group of game testers try out a new game. The game is very simple, with two characters on the side to help out (Pratt and Vanessa Bayer) But after they finish level, they do some...things.
Wow, this was too funny. Especially when the level is reached. The things the characters did, especially the "war scars" thing left me a little breathless.

Ariana Grande is the first performer of the season, so she had to bring it all in her performances, and she did.

Her first song "Break Free" was very impressive. Starting off in acoustic version played piano, her voice was really good, and the music was amazing. Then she jumped off the piano and runs to the stage, performing the studio version. I was happy she performing both versions, but I thought she tried too hard when she performed the rest of it on the stage. I though this performance was really good, but the second was even better.

For the first time ever, I heard what I thought was her best song yet, "Love Me Harder" with The Weeknd. Her voice was even better, the beat sent me good shivers and Weeknd's vocals were just as great. They both work great together. This song would be favorite Ariana song ever.
So overall, I loved both songs. Very solid performing from Ms. Grande.

Update Time:
Part 1:

Part 2:

This ep aired way before I began the reviews, so I'll say my thoughts in hindsight.

Well, the new Update team that everyone has been waiting for for months (especially since Cecily Strong announced that she's leaving to return to the sketches full-time) finally came. Now before I get to my sympathy toward them without sounding like a hypocrite and liar: I will say my opinion now, they were terrible together at first sight...but they weren't an abomination like everyone thought.
Colin Jost barely improved from last season and Michael Che was really bad. But hey, there's a reason: Jost was only a co-anchor for half a season; that's not enough time to improve and make a name for yourself (although that did happen for the worse), and Che is new to SNL, at least on-camera. No matter how much you want to criticize them, you seem to forget that they just happened to be a new team. You gotta give them time to grow as a team to really make an opinion about them. I figured this would happen; in fact, I myself felt this team wouldn't work.

Because of this, the producers decided to give viewers a final goodbye to Cecily at the Update desk full-time in the form of A Girl You Wish You Haven't Started A Conversation With At a Party, who appears to discuss the Ebola virus. She hasn't missed a beat. She's as great as the first time we saw her. Also, she made a passing reference to her short time as co-anchor with Colin with this:

"Who is that?" "That's Colin."
"He looks like my ex. He died at Burning Man."

--
Making her second appearance, after her controversial debut last season, Relationship Expert Leslie Jones talks about dating in this new decade and the questions surrounding them.
-At the time, I said this the minute she appeared on the desk: She needs to be a cast member! She is FUNNY, and shows it too. I know her humor isn't for everyone, but I know it's for me, so when the announcement came that she would become a featured cast member, I just said this: "HELL YEAH!! THANK YOU, GOD!!!" So this would become the start of her mark on the show, and it's gonna be documented here from start to finish.
--
Making his debut as, new cast member Pete Davidson (the first member to be born in the 90s) also really make his mark, by discussing his thoughts on a young man being caught -- of being a sexual position with a statue of Jesus Christ: that's talking about a game called "Would You Go Down on a Guy", which is being asked if you'd have sex with another dude for a lot of money.
-My goodness, this young man is hilarious! His goofy bravado, awkward mannerisms and jokes make his segment hilarious and one to talk about. It's great that Lorne and the producers chose Pete to join the cast, because he has talent and proves he has talent. I hope he appears again on Update as this schtick, because this is genius. But not too much, it's really genius.
So after watching this first offering of the newest Update, it left me with some desire for them to get better. And as the season will progress, they'll get through improvement, for better or worse.

So as I said, best episode of the season so far. Chris gave his all in the sketches and the cast did amazing. I laughed hard at almost all of them and found them all great, hoping the next episodes will be like this. But this is SNL so that's not gonna happen. And as the next reviews prove, my instincts (along with the comments on the TV-show websites) would be correct.

See you tomorrow for my review of Episode 2, hosted by Sarah Silverman, with music by Maroon 5. See you then!

Funday Friday--#1: The Amazing Dancing Madrids

Hi everyone, and welcome to a brand new segment I'd like to call Funday Friday,
where I find some fun, funny, heartwarming or crazy videos or reads I'd just happened to find in the past few days, and share it with you guys to end the week on a high note.

In this inaugural edition of Funday Friday, I bring you this amazing old married couple named Keone and Mari Madrid, who did the impossible: Dance like they're freaking tWitch!
I saw this video on Monday via this link on Facebook from musical group Karmin, which took me to this page on Dose.com. The dance is played to "Is This Love" by the great Bob Marley.
And let's just say that this vid will make your day...and your weekend. And probably your month too.

Let me just say Cheers to longevity in life, to being youthful at an old age, to the art of dance, and to Bob Marley and his music. All of these are the best ever.

Short/Long Song Review: Blank Space

Wanna know a funny thing?
I ended 2014 here on Maroon Mondays (sort of) with a Short/Long Music Review of a song by Taylor Swift. I hated it.
So it's a sad thing that I'm starting 2015 (sort of) by writing a Short/Long Song Review of a song by...(sigh) Taylor Swift.

When I made my Top Ten Worst Pop/Indie Song List during the back end of last year, I faced a dilemma. I already had 9 songs on deck and I had a few choices from an artist to put at #10. And all of them came from a certain artist I have a long-running love-hate relationship with: Taylor Swift. Yeah I admit, I really liked some of her music (they're catchy and actually really good), but the reason I hated them is the same, consistent reason: All of them are songs about bad relationships and the boy who ruined it for her. I wouldn't hate her discography if there wasn't so many of them between her (so far, as of posting this) five albums. Because of this long stretch of formulaic nature, my annoyance of her and her music has stood the test of time since the jump...at least until last August, when Taylor finally announced to the world that she's no longer a country artist (or at least pop/country) and will continue her career as a straight-up pop artist.
Since then, my heart grew three sizes more,

and I had the strength of ten Andrews, plus four.

I can finally enjoy Taylor's music without the added annoyance of it being classified as country. ...but then I remembered it's still about her bitching at guys who fucked her over.

And I'm back to Grinch mode.

Back to the TTWPIS list, I chose between two songs to put in at #10, since "Out of the Woods", which I hate even more, was already at #6. They were "Shake It Off" and "Blank Space".
At first listen of "SiT" on YT, and hated it for her being in denial about her dating life and that corny-ass rap verse in the bridge. After several more listens, I began to like it more, but still hated that lyric and the bridge rap. I then heard "Blank Space" for the first time during her performance at the American Music Awards (something I should stop doing from now on), and already hated it for being boring and treading the same dead, rotting, decomposed horse of a topic. But after a few more listens from time to time, I began to liken it a little more, because of my thought of Taylor admitting she has a screwed-up dating life, and decides to mock herself for it. And boy, does she have a sense of humor.

("get to the damn song, you pizza-face toolbox!")

But then I had a decision, choosing which song I liked the least that will stay in the list forever. And I stand by my choices for better or worse. And the song I chose was "Blank Space". Sure felt good of myself to make the conscious decision and finish the list. After that, I felt ashamed for putting the song on the list instead of one I heard longer than that. I thought I liked it more than "Shake It Off". That song had more charisma and force.
A few days later, I read an article of her talking about the writing and production of the song and...I got angry again. She says she didn't make the track because of her parodying her love life; she's parodying the listening public's perception of her dating life. And there goes the denial again. Now I have a reason to put it on the list. But I still feel disappointed in myself for putting it there because haven't heard it enough to criticize it and I know there's more to the song to either like or hate.
So, in my darkest hour of despair and heartbreak, I decided to make this edition of Short/Long Music Review a curious question to see if I made the wrong decision or the right one to put it on the list.
Here is "Blank Space" by Taylor Swift.



"Nice to meet you, where you been?
I could show you incredible things
Magic, madness, heaven, sin"
--So we start off with Taylor meeting a guy and finding intrest just from face value. Yep just like any woman who's began a love affair. But this is Taylor Swift we're talking about. So hold on folks, this verse has just started.
"Saw you there and I thought
Oh my God, look at that face
You look like my next mistake
Love's a game, wanna play?"
--Okay, that line is genius. Picking apart the curiousity of love in one simple line. And then

"New--money, suit and--tie
I can read you like a magazine
Ain't it--funny, rumors--fly
And I know you heard about me"
--Here's she mentioning her past, which you already know. At this point, I'm happy that Taylor is at least admitting about how the tabloid magazines perceive of her. Mocking her own shortcomings in life is a strength of this I can get behind.
"So hey, let's be friends
I'm dying to see how this one ends
Grab your passport and my hand
I can make the bad guys good for a weekend"
And here Taylor is a sweet, kind girl happy for a relationship with a guy
Yes, folks, Taylor Swift can make the bad guys good for a short amount of time. Where have we heard that before?

"So it's gonna be forever
Or it's gonna go down in flames"
(Psst, the second one)
You can tell me when it's over
If the high was worth the pain"
(I don't think he'd be the one to tell you this, but I bet you the high of record-breaking records, chart-topping singles and a lot of money, especially after the Spotify incident, is definitely worth the pain...the pain of your wrist after writing down the lyrics.)
"Got a long list of ex-lovers
They'll tell you I'm insane"
(Yeah, they will. They'll tell him they're still recovering after 3 months of riding the dragon. And hearing the dragon's music about them)
'Cause you know I love the players
AND YOU LOVE THE GAME!"
Jeez, Tay, no need to yell. So you love the players who love to play the game. Well, if you see the game as Def Jam: Icon and the object is to ruin your love and trust with metaphorical physical violence and throws to the bass-shaking walls, then I'd really believe you when you say they love the game.
"'Cause we're young and we're reckless
We'll take this way too far"
(Yeah, reckless. I'm pretty sure that "Reckless" and "Way Too Far" for you is staying up past midnight, watching R-rated Channing Tatum movies, eating cereal for dinner and the occasional use of the word Damn.
Jeez, you sound like a human Disney Channel Original Series.)
"It'll leave you breathless
Or with a nasty scar"
(Ohh, now she's gettin' violent, huh? I sure a little wussy fight will leave...at least...a bruise on ya. Not much really.)
"But I've got a blank space, baby
And I'll write your name"
Blank Space. Meaning she has a book that collects the names of guys she's dated. First off, I didn't know Taylor still writes in books, when there's a thing called a computer that can save data for her.
Second, she must be a frickin' creepo to store a list of guys' names in her

"Cherry--lips/Crystal--skies/
I can show you incredible things"
I don't think "Cherry lips" or "Crystal skies" are that incredible. I mean the the kissing a girl and looking up at the stars are really good things, but they're not exactly tickets to Heaven if you know what I mean.
"Stolen--kisses, pretty--lies
You're the King, baby, I'm your Queen"
Okay, I've heard some corny things in love song like -- and "Call me Mr. Flintstone/ I can make your BedRock", but a line about kisses being stolen is a first in a line of them. Also, You said "I can show you incredible things" again. I know this happens before, but for someone like Taylor Swift to repeat a line in more than one verse, that's just lazy. Or foreshadowing something.
"Find out--what you want/Be that girl--for a month
Wait, the worst--is yet to cooooome, oh no"
Maybe what he wants is a good relationship with that'll last a damn long time, even if he known about you in the tabloids. But knowing you, we all know what's happening next. (I will give Taylor credit, though, for knowing the dreaded break-up was coming anyway. Because of the fact it has happened five times already, I'm proud of her for finally anticipating it.)
"Screaming,--crying,--perfect storms
I can make all the tables turn
Rose--garden,--filled with thorns
Keep you second guessing like
'Oh my God, who is she?'/I get drunk on jealousy
But you'll come back--each time you leave
'Cause, darling, I'm a nightmare dressed like a daydream"
Holy shit, Taylor's gone banal. What a shocker.
I mean seriously, who didn't expect a Taylor Swift song to go down this route around verse two?? She starts off happily in love with a guy, then he does something that somehow pisses her off (she barely says what that is, leading us to assume she'll break up any guy for anything), and breaks up with him in anger, pain and tears. Ant then the cycle starts over for the next song and so on and so forth. And that includes "Shake It Off" if you count the "too many dates" line and that bridge rap. Sure, she wrote a couple lines about how people think she dates, but that's two lines in an otherwise likable song. But here, she wrote an entire song about her making fun of how the public sees her dating life. And how they see her dating life IS TRUE!!

"Boooys only want love if it's torture
Dooon't say I didn't, say I didn't warn ya" x2
--Yeah right, Taylor; you don't know what torture is. There is no way you and any of the guys you dated would ever reach the development of a relationship that is "torture" since all of them barely reached 90-day mark. God, this made Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries' 73-day "marriage" look like a freakin' prefect masterpiece.

Yet speaking of masterpiece, let's talk about the music video for a bit. My God, what a sight for sore eyes that is. That's because its director Joseph Kahn said in an interview that he wanted it to emulate the cinematography of the work of iconic director Stanley Kubrick. And boy did he do a masterful job with it. It really looks like something Kubrick would direct; the camera angles, the tight shots, the movement, and the lighting look like a short film by him, than a Taylor Swift song about another relationship gone shitty.

Why did I put the song on the list again? Oh yeah.
Because it's freaking boring. Despite it's minimalist tone, the beat is so quiet and thin, I could barely hear it. It's like I'm hearing a spoken-word song. I try my best to listen to it and enjoy it, but it's so slow and tiring, I end up a little sleepy. Plus this out-of-place space between lyrics; it's really irritating. It's like her throat got sore and still needed to perform this as carefully as possible, so that the producers can take care of the rest by smushing the finished results together. But then they decided to leave spaces in to make it sound cool, or even revolutionary in pop music. It's like this:
"It's like--she's run--out of--breath/
Yet tries hard to keep it all on track;
It just--an-noys--me so--hard/
Makes me bang my head until a crack"
I've heard songs use this type of lyrical work before and this isn't the worst, but it's still annoying. All that on top of it being the usual TaylorSwiftian bullshit about dating a bad guy and him screwing her over to oblivion.

Taylor, there is no way you can deny your horrid dating life this long when it's been thrown out there in public so fucking wide open, that it makes you look like an idiot for trying to hide it. I know it's not any of my business of to talk about it (yeah yeah, I know, "why am I talking about it?", blah blah, Kermit the Frog sipping on tea), but you barely kept them a secret and when they end, a new album is either in the works or is released, and then you date another guy as if the last one didn't even exist. And the public explodes talking about your dating troubles and mocking you on how fast and loose you are in relationships. And no amount of sass and snark can redeem you.

...or maybe...maybe she's telling the truth. Maybe the guys she's dated really are assholes and treat her like crap. Maybe she tried her best to make each relationship work and notices each time that they aren't and smartly ran away before it gets worse. And maybe the songs she write are comfort away from the pain, heartbreak and sadness; to make her feel better and good about herself, and at the same time learn that girls everywhere are feeling the same way and wants to keep it up to make those girls feel happy and proud about themselves. And she'll use these songs to go into relationships better and find a better guy that'll treat her better and love her for her.
NAH!! THAT'S NOT IT! Taylor will continue the same damn cycle forever until she's dead. Probably even after she's dead, too.

So in summary, I do like this song. The beat is really good in its minimalist nature, and Taylor has a great performance here along with the lyrics. Most of them were well-thought of and well-written, and make for what could be one of Taylor's best songs. But because of the reason above, I don't love it, and I guess it really does deserve to be in the Top Ten Worst Pop/Indie Songs List. The lyrics are still about the usual, Taylor's still whining her near-non-existent ass off, and the guy she's dating gets off with the worst thing ever: Taylor Swift writing a song about him that'll go #1 on the Billboard Hot 100 and will definitely win her a bunch of awards. It's a circle of life that'll continue until Taylor runs out of material (aka runs out of famous guys to date). I will like her new work, but it's gonna take a while for me to truly love and appreciate it.

See ya next month for another edition of Short/Long Music Review. Until next time, I need to find a girl that won't end up writing my name ...or listen to Taylor Swift. Shouldn't be hard.

Racism Sadly Still Exists: Bombing at NAACP Chapter

And yet this day just gets even worse.

After the horrible attack on Charlie Hebdo in Paris earlier today another horrible ethical attack occurred; this time in Colorado Springs, Colorado, when the building of a chapter of the NAACP was barley destroyed by a homemade bomb. Fortunately, no person appeared at the building during the attack and no significant damage was made. The person who committed the crime or the motive is unknown. The FBI is investigating.

Racism is a horrible thing, no doubt. But it still exists. Ignorant idiots just refuse to realize that there are other races inhabiting this country and just make complete asses of themselves making their opinions of this matter heard, and something of this nature happened today. I'm not saying racism should stay around, but it's still around, no matter what anyone says or does to combat it or kill it entirely. But we shouldn't stop trying. I just hope that we as a nation will not sit down and let horrible things like this continue to happen. The African American community has fought hard to stand out, survive and live peacefully as an equal race for too damn long, and shouldn't let the work of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. and Malcolm X die down all because some dumbass with segregation on his mind tear down a building.

Whoever did this shall be arrested and sent to jail for the crime. I don't care if the human is white, latino, Muslim, Asian or even Black (yes, even Black; although that's uncertain). Whoever did this or any race shouldn't get away with this.

This day is horrible.

Compromizing Free Speech? Hell No!: The Killings at Charlie Hebdo (UPDATED)

You guys know free speech right?
It's a thing people use to say what they want and feel in the context they want or feel to express what they feel. But sometime, some people don't like free speech...as least when it comes to others using it against the things they like and others don't. And sadly, a clash in the name of free speech happened in Paris. At the headquarters of Charlie Hebdo.

At 11:30 am Paris local time, or as reported this morning in America, a shooting occurred at the offices of French satirical magazine Charlie Hebdo. 12 people were killed and eleven others were injured, four of those are in critical condition. 3 police officers were wounded. Of the 12, eight were Hebdo journalists (among them, four of the magazine's founding cartoonists) and two were officers.
At one point during the exchange, one of the men shouts, "We have avenged the Prophet Muhammad"
The officers then escaped the officers in a waiting black vehicle and jetted off, later abandoning the vehicle for another. The killers are still on the loose.

This makes no fucking sense. Why must people be killed because they have an honest opinion that they really want to let out? Why must lives be taken because a certain group of people don't like what they're saying? We should free speech be compromised if the people committing the attack I don't get it!!
These people have a right to say what they feel! It's in their journalistic integrity to say what they want. No person can and should ever take their right to it. It's in our 1st Amendment, dammit! To terrorist should and shall ever take anyone's right to free speech. If Those assholes have a right to use it anyway they want to, WHY THE FUCK CAN'T THEY?!?! They have a job at Charlie Hebdo to inform the French public about their opinions on the news of the world just like the satirical newspapers of the United States does to inform the American public.
If we can't have free speech like we do now, then we are living in a truly insane and truly fucked-up world.

These fucking cowards shall not get away with this reprehensible crime, and should be arrested and tortured for the crime. This is something that shouldn't have happened The term "The Pen is Mightier Than The Sword" is a very powerful and legendary quote that that really fits with this sad story, but think a nice sequence of water-boarding fits just as well.

We as Americans have still stood strong after 9/11 and the other horrible tragedies of the past decade. I (along with the rest of America and those in full belief of free speech) know the people of Paris, the country of France and the people of Charlie Hebdo especially can stand strong after this.

You cowards may have taken away the lives of some people (which was a horrible thing in and of itself), but you haven't taken away the right to free speech. Free speech is still alive, well and kicking with everyone else in the world, even with you. Just because you believe you have the right to free speech, that doesn't mean everyone else can't, won't and shouldn't. If When you're caught, you will suffer for your crimes. And will avenge those at Charlie Hebdo who have lost their lives when they shouldn't have.
Charlie Hebdo, you have the sympathy and empathy of everyone in the world.

This is a quote from Philippe Val, the former director of Charlie Hebdo, during an interview with Radio France:

"Our way of rendering justice is to not to stand by quietly, it is to continue. One cannot do otherwise. I hope that this tragedy, which is irreparable, will change things, that we will not let the bastards win. It is necessary to have a forceful and realistic discussion on this rising danger, which is real and that has been denounced for years. We have not listened. Today you have to listen to us, do not leave us alone."

#JeSuisCharlie

UPDATE: Okay, there is a little good in this story now. Two days after the horrible attack tttat Charlie Hebdo offices in Paris, French police caught up to the suspects, , Cherif and Said Kouachi, and engaged in a shoot-off with the suspects, killing them.

Another attack also happened around the same time, when a gunman took people hostage at a kosher market in eastern Paris. The gunman was also killed in the attack, with reports that those kept hostage were also killed.

All I will say here is that I'm happy the attackers are killed. It's really painful for the employees of Charlie Hebdo lose their colleagues and friends at the magazine, and even worse for the families of the victims lose their loved ones. And I feel sorry for everyone. But I'm now happy there is closure and that the deaths will be avenged.