Thursday, February 19, 2015

Saturday Night Live 40 Review: Anniversary Special


Hi, everybody.
This day has been on everybody's minds for months. The anticipation, the wonder, the imagination, the excitement, the nostalgia, the fear, the potential disappointment, the wasted potential, the complaints about how it used to be (oh wait, that's still happening) and what could have been that could've been shown and represented.
But dammit, they pulled it off phenominally. Almost everything that represented this show throughout its' history (cast members, characters, sketches, moments, hosts, musical guests and Lorne Michaels) is represented very well in this special. I enjoyed almost every single moment from the event and I can't stop glowing from it.


The event begins with Justin Timberlake about to perform a ditty about the show, then Jimmy Fallon comes in, and they perform a rap called "The History of SNL". Rachel Dratch and Molly Shannon made their returns to Studio 8H as their beloved characters, Debbie Downer and Mary Catherine Gallagher. It was amazing; the rhymes were catchy, JF & JT did great and it was fantastic to see Debbie and Mary Catherine on "SNL" once again, especially for this special. And what a special it was!


The open featured many shots and elements from all of the opens in its history and some of the characters that made it famous, along with the many cast members and guests that appeared on the show appearing in the special. It was awesome seeing those elements of some opens mashed together with those of others was absolutely beautiful. And the bright colors used throughout made it even better.


After this, a monologue of epic proportions...sort of. Frequent host Steve Martin (who, by the way, hosted one of the best episodes ever all the way back in 1978) was the first to walk out on stage. He remarks that the special is like an enormous high school reunion (with nearly all of the students being white) and that comedians are the staple of the show. After this, other hosts/musical guests appeared to politely argue with Martin about who the host and musical guests are to have helped make SNL memorable over the years, including (in this order):
-(America's) Tom Hanks, representing actors
-Alec Balwin, for actors who've down comedy and drama. And have also hosted more than seven-eight times (and, as Martin put it, media skirmishes)
-Melissa McCarthy, for actress/not men over "80"
-Chris Rock, fronting hosts who used to be cast members
That was a fine open. I was puzzled by this, but it was nice to see a wonderful variety of hosts being mentioned on the show.

The Best (Sketches)

After this, a wonderfully put-together clip of some of the best sketches in the show's history, from "The Wolverines", the very first sketch, to "". If there was a favorite of any SNL fan, either casual or die-hard, it was in this. And it was a great continuation of the special, and was expected to celebrate the show's vast, rich and uproarious history.


(Excuse my terrible spelling)

Dan Aykroyd returned to Studio 8H to perform the first sketch tribute of the show, one of his legendary and signature skits: The Super Bass-O-Matic. This time, it's new and improved, and under a new name: The Super Bass-O-Matic 2150. It's exactly like the original sketch from 1976, except Aykroyd looks like he's really let himself go. He did a fantastic job, like he knew every word like the back of his hand...or like he wrote them on the back of his hands. Also, Laraine Newman made a return to 8H for her small part in the promo sketch, which was just as great. I did feel a rush of intensity and nerves during the part where Aykroyd slipped more bass into the Matic, in which he couldn't close the top (it's live, really) but everything came in control a few seconds later. I really enjoyed this part.
You still rock, Mr. Aykroyd and Mr. Newman.

It's Jeopardy! time!! #SNL40

— Andrew Pollard (@APollard36) February 16, 2015
Celebrity Jeopardy! is back!!

In the next tribute sketch, Will Ferrell retuned as Alex Trebek, one of his most popular roles one of the most popular sketches. Also returning are Darrell Hammond as Sean Connery and Norm MacDonald as Burt Reynolds, along with Mate McKinnon as Justin Bieber, Alec Baldwin as Tony Bennett and Taran Killam as Christoph Waltz. Straight up--One of the Best parts of the special. The jokes were of the same well-known concept, but are still funny and still awesome. The "Whore Ads" and the "Le Tits Now" jokes made me laugh hard.
Also, the guys of the sketch have not missed a beat; it's as if they secretly do their beloved roles somplace hidden from the outside world to keep them amazing. If this actually happens, it's made this one even more genius.
I really like how Trebek's hair has gotten greyer, just as a nod to the real host of the real Jeopardy! (along with the fact that he's returned to growing a mustache), and that the old set has stayed the same for familiarity.
Although, neither Bieber nor Waltz were needed here, and they felt like they weren't needed, but They were fine in their own right. The big boys of the skit (Especially Ferrell and Darrell Hammond as Sean Connery) just carry the skit by themselves like it's 1996 again.

And the surprise appearance of Kenan Thompson as Bill Cosby during the Video Daily Double gave this a little more laughs.
Again, one of the best parts of the night, by far.

This sketch is still one of the best. #CelebrityJeopardy #SNL40

— Andrew Pollard (@APollard36) February 16, 2015


Pete Davidson and Leslie Jones, the tow last cast members before the show turned 40, presented a segment on the Auditions, the moment where unknown actors and comedians try-out to impress Lorne and the producers for a spot in the cast. It was a refreshing joy to this, watching cast members do impressions and such for a spot, and look around stuff and ask question, especially some of the Not Ready for Primetime Players. It was an even bigger surprise to see Jim Carrey, Stephen Colbert and Zach Gallafinackis audition, too, I could only wonder if any of them got hired. Oh well.


Next up, previous host (and proud Yorkian) Robert DeNiro presented us a really well-done clip of New York City, as shown through Saturday Night Live sketches. The show salute to and spirit of the Big Apple shines bright, since the day of the choice of production in '75 and still lives on to this day. You do see shows celebrate its city like Johnny Carson and Jay Leno-era Tonight Show for Los Angeles and Portlandia with Portland, Oregon, but you don't see the spirit and love of the NYC like SNL does. And it's not during the opens. Well, almost all of them; New York is nowhere to be seen in the season 27 intro--wonder who's dumb idea that was. Anyway, even though I'm not from the city, or the state, I'm very proud of the biggest city in the world for many reasons. One of them being the taping location of SNL. Thanks to it (along with the soap operas at the time), many shows would later be taped in New York (city and state) in the later 1990s and 2000s. SNL and New York, we're grateful for the both of you.

Three cheers to New York City. Just because...#SNL40

— Andrew Pollard (@APollard36) February 16, 2015
Agreed.

After the break (of many!!), Keith Richards of The Rolling Stones introduced Paul McCartney, who performed "Maybe I'm Amazed". And like his appearances on the show, and with The Beatles, he really hits it out of the park. Oh yeah, and this. too.

So yeah, a Rolling Stone introduced a Beatle. That's history in the making, don'cha know. #SNL40

— Andrew Pollard (@APollard36) February 16, 2015


Jack Nicholson gives us another clip featuring SNL's legendary satire and lampooning of American Politics. From Gerald Ford to the George Bushs to Bill Clinton to Barack Obama and everyone in between, SNL was boss at counterpoint to the elephant and donkey parties. And if you were a fan o SNL, you should know how awesome these sketches were. The brutal humor coming to the world of politics was perfect and really enjoyable, and for the 40+ years on the air, SNL certainly know what to do. It's not my favorite parts of the show, but I still enjoyed them a lot.

Honestly, I don't know why this sketch was represented.

But if it can get most of the late 2000s cast back together, then I'll forgiven. Especially with Laraine Newman and Betty White appeared. Although, Kerry and Taylor's accents were super thick and nearly unrecognizable. It may seem hard to pull off a Valley Girl accent, but I myself can do it easily and near-perfectly. So this is unacceptable. I laughed a lot when Kristen Wiig said "Did everyone RSV-Pah??" and when everyone broke character for a bit after the Spanish housekeeper character (played by Vanessa Bayer) faints. And Betty did awesome in this; her performance made the sketch look like a real soap opera on (the now defunct) SOAPnet. It even gripped me in for a little while, after that ended, I went back to watching a sub-par sketch I can barely stand. So yeah, I'd call this the weakest sketch of the special. I mean of course it is when compared to the others, like the remake of the "Bass-O-Matic" sketch, "Celebrity Jeopardy!" and Weekend Update.
As for the ending, which is a special-made one to the Airline Sketch of the 90s, I kinda like this one, although it felt a little botched, but we can count that to the camera shot coming in a little early than expected.


And now, another Best Sketch of the show, Weekend Update. At least it should be with Jane Curtain, Tina Fey and Amy Poehler at the desk. And it was funny. Really funny. All the jokes landed, including my favorite

the chemistry between the three was wonderful and the guests paying tribute to a few iconic characters of both Update and SNL proper:
-Emma Stone as Roseanne Roseannadana
-Edward Norton as Stefon (with Bill Hader returning as the real Stefon, along with Seth Meyers making a brief cameo)
-Melissa McCarthy as Matt Foley, and
-Bobby Moynihan as the Land Shark
did a fantastic job. The only crime with this one was that it was a little short, at least compared to the regular Update. (Blame Kanye.) I wish it was at least 7 minutes long, because then, at least more Update anchors would've came in and contributed to the sketch. That would've been better in my eyes. But overall, this was another Best of the Special.

And straight after, a retrospective of the iconic middle-of-the-show segment, featuring almost all of the hosts (Cecily Strong were notably missing) and the iconic moments that came with them. I thought it was disrespectful for Cecily to get jettisoned when she was a anchorperson just like everyone else. Granted for a single season, but still. And the same thing goes for everyone else who was also not shown in the clip. Other than that, it was a great retrospective of a really great part of SNL since the very start.
Which would go to another great part of one of the Best Parts of the Special:

Four of the male anchorpersons of Update (Kevin Nealon, Norm MacDonald, Colin Quinn and Seth Meyers) came together to discuss their bright memories of the segment and then to honor the man who started the tranquil madness and uproarious news, Chevy Chase. Chase came to the main stage to discuss the segment and his . And it was short. I mean...come on!! (Blame Kanye.)

Music with Marty and Maya as Beyoncé
Part 1:

Part 2:

Martin Short and Maya Rudolph stewarded this segment chronicling the iconic moments of popular music characters on SNL. And boy, did they help bring out the greats.
Starting with Rudolph herself as Beyoncé, performing a version of Knowles' song "Drunk in Love", which was really good, with the bit with Short literally being blown away by the stage fans was really funny
and continued on with:
-Garth & Kat singing a song "specially created for the show". And if you know who they are, then you know this is not the case; when I mean by "specially created for the show", I mean "something really terrible they made up on the spot".
-Marty Culp and Bobbi Mohan-Culp (Will Ferrell and Ana Gastayer) performing a superculp--I mean supercut of current popular songs, which was very funny
-Joe Piscopo (!!) performing "New York, New York" as Frank Sinatra (!!!)
-Derek Stevens (Dana Carvey) singing his classic "Choppin' Broccoli"
-Adam Sandler as Opera Man
-DeAndre Cole performing his future-classic, uber-catchy title theme of the "What's Up with That?" sketch, along with Jason Sudeikiis reprising his role of Cole's right-hand running man.
-Steve Martin with a classic straight out of Ancient Egypt, "King Tut", and
-Nick "the Lounge Singer" Ocean (Bill Murray) singing that amazing "Love Theme" from "Jaws",
ending it with The Blues Brothers (Dan Aykroyd and Jim Belushi [in the place of his late brother John Belushi]).
This was a fantastic recollection of the music of the series, and another Best Part for me. The performances were done live (which was a better thing than watching a pre-tape of them) and all of the former cast members/hosts looked and sounded great, especially Mr. Rudolph. Her outfit looked hot, and her legs look amazing. I'd pay money just to see those gams from 50 feet away.
I wish some of the performances were longer, though. Again, Blame Kanye (and maybe Miley, too).


Chris Rock walked to the stage and talked about Eddie Murphy, the most-well-known, beloved (in Dick Ebersol's case, VERY beloved) and best-used African American cast member in SNL history. And then Murphy himself made his first appearance on SNL in 30 years, talking about his experience on the show and what it made him to be: a comedy legend. And that's it. If Eddie Murphy is going to appear on the show for the first time in 30 years, you gotta make time for him! You can't just give him a whole minute to say a few words and then go to commercial, That's not fair.
Honestly this lasted about 5-1/2 minutes (including Rock). Let's--let's just--(sigh) Blame Kanye, folks.


Derek Jeter and Peyton Manning open this pre-packaged clip of all the times athletes hosted SNL (so all of you who expected OJ Simpson or Robert Blake to appear, you are greatly disappointed). I didn't enjoy it as much as the others, but I still found it funny.

The end of the segement features the return of Sudeikis and Will Forte as Pete Twinkle and Greg Stink, and these guys are just as great as they were back during the sketch's beginning. This is one of my favorite pieces of the special.



After an introduction by long-running host Candace Bergen and Win Butler of Arcade Fire,
Miley Cyrus performed Paul Simon's immortal "50 Ways to Leave Your Lover". Umm...why?? Why is she performing the song? I mean, Simon was in the studio, so it would've made a lot more sense to have the guy who originally performed it almost 40 years ago perform it here. Did he have a sore throat during the special? Does he hate this now? I'd doubt it. It just doesn't make sense to me. Miley did have really good vocals here, and she did a great job, but it still didn't make any damn sense to me, especially because the man himself is here. Plus, she sounded like her dad in his "Achy Breaky Heart" days.


Audience Q&A

"Mr. NBC" Jerry Seinfeld took to the stage to answer questions from the audience.
Before getting to the video, this segment has been a part of the show for decades. The host being asked questions by members of the studio audience (usually cast members). And it's pretty funny at times.
Now, the people asking questions were Michael Douglas, John Goodman, James Franco, Larry David, Dakota Johnson from NBC sister company Universal Pictures' big-selling film "50 Shades of Grey" (at least that's how I see them treating this part), former cast member Tim Meadows, Sarah Palin and Ellen Cleghorne, one of the first and few African American female cast members in SNL history (seriously, they can be counted on both hands, if not one).

This segment was really funny, and seeing Miss Cleghorne in this segment and on SNL in a very long time was wonderful, even though she wasn't as well-known or popular as Eddie Murphy at the time. In fact seeing her there lasted longer and was more satisfying than Eddie Murphy, and I barely know who she is or was. Super ironic, I know.


Then after a short introduction by Christopher Walken, Lord Obnoxious himself performed one of his biggest songs "Jesus Walks"...upside down...on his back, in a dimly lit part of the set.
Why this? Well, because it's Kanye. Although this is a step up from "Bound 2", so yeah, it's good. After a verse of the former, he sings (yes, SINGS.) his latest single "Only One". Apparently, he didn't care the he sounded like he just had a wire removed from his jaws. But his vocals were terrible. I felt that he wanted to sound weak and close to tears. He can do that, but chose not to here. But like his performance at the Grammys, it was personal, powerful and made me tear up. Then...uhh...

yeah, he sang "Wolves" with Sia and a guy named
Okay, why is he performing? No, this has nothing to do his dick moves recently, but because this is the SNL Anniversary. I think there should be enough for everything about the show, and not to have Kanye here. I mean, Kanye did appear like 4 or 5 times and that's good enough to be memorable and appear in the special, but if you want to invite a guy who wrote a line in one of his songs which goes "Fuck SNL and the whole cast, tell 'em Yeezy said they can kiss my whole ass/ More specifically, they can kiss my ass-hole/I'm an asshole? You niggas got jokes" on a special like this, yeah you've got a problem. Especially with people who don't like him as a person. So yeah, I thought this performance was really good, but I really wouldn't put in up there with the best parts of the Special. Yeah, I guess it kinda does relate to the recent dick moves.


Next, as presented by Louis CK, a perfect collection of SNL short films that were made legendary. Including the forever infamous "Don't Look Back in Anger". You know, the short films really made
this show great, too. Taking cast members out of Studio 8H and into the streets of New York (or an off-city-limits studio) and do whatever the hell they want, whether related to whatever was popular at the moment or whatever was in the writers' minds. And they were awesome; everything was a good laugh. All you see for the past 40 years either made you laugh, made you cry, or both. Because they were beautiful. The short film will always be my favorite part of the show for these reasons.


And now for my favorite one of all, the In Memorial segment, presented by Bill Murray. It is here that cast members, crew members and people who have been a huge part of Saturday Night Live since its humble beginning that have passed on sometime during its almost 40 years on-air will be memorialized and remembered for the huge, amazing and memorable contributions they have made to this series. I pretty much felt how everyone else felt from this. Emotional, teary-eyed, and full of gratefulness, because we have witness comedy magic being made on SNL and we took it for granted, and we can't thank all of these contributors for their service to SNL and the comedy world. The reaction when Don Pardo's name appeared was well-deserved. SNL is Don Pardo. Oh, and that part at the end where Jon Lovitz's name appeared made me laugh my ass off.

And finally, it was long overdue, but we finally made it, as we take a little trip to...

In this segment, Wayne & Garth give us a Top 10 list of the things that make SNL amazing for past (almost) 40 years. And every single one of them was great, especially the crew. Thanks to each and every single member of the SNL crew, they have spent as much of their lives as possible working to make SNL as tip-top shape and as fast and lucrative as possible, without incident or screw-up. And they did it (and still do it) amazingly. Doing live television takes a LOT of hard work, but to watch these guys pull it off so very well after all these years, and now to get the recognition and praise they truly deserve is just heartwarming and beautiful. You know what's also beautiful? Watching the two mock Kanye West HARD; it's hilarious. Also hilarious? The fact that they STILL haven't left the basement.


And this Special could not end without like how every show ends, with everyone on the main set, thanking viewers for watching the special, and for watching Saturday Night Live for almost 40 years. The man who began it all, Lorne Michaels, came on stage to thank everyone and to join in the celebration. And this caps off a fantastic special celebrating 40 Years and Seasons of a simple TV series pushing the limits of comedy and television, making lasting impressions on the world, keeping it going on NBC (already seen as a joke to a lot of people), and never looking back.



Favorite Moments:
-Monologue
-Celebrity Jeopardy!
-Weekend Update (rest in peace, Gilda Radner and Chris Farley)
-The Music (especially when Nick the Lounge Singer and the Culpps appear)
-Wayne's World
-In Memorial (especially when Jon Lovitz's and Generalissimo Francisco Franco's names appear. One of the biggest laughs of the night.) (rest in peace, Everyone who has been a part of SNL throughout its' history)

Worst Moments:
Miley and Kanye

Everyone wasn't overused or underused, the jokes landed great, everything made me smile, I was a hit on Twitter (at least to my friends), all era of the show were used here amazingly, and the music was fantastic. I couldn't ask for a better special celebrating the history of SNL, and I think I'm so very grateful to live on Earth at this time to watch it. I'm so grateful for Saturday Night Live.

Well, thank you all joining me for this review, and join me on February 28, when Dakota Johnson will host the show, with Alabama Shakes joining as musical guest. See you then!!
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Saturday, February 14, 2015

Special SLMR: Rude (As Performed by the KIDZ BOP Kids)

Yeah...



"Saturday Morning, jumped out of bed, and put on my best suit
Got on my bike and raced like a jet, all the way to you"
Whoa, whoa, whoa, kid! Slow your roll. You are too young to marry her. The best you can do is ride your bike to the arcade for a game of Hang-on and Candy Crush and Plants Vs. Zombies: The Last Stand.
"Knocked on your door with heart in my hand/To ask you a question
'Cause I know that you're an old fashioned man (yeah yeah)"
Okay, guys; you know how this goes. The guy goes to the man's door, asks for his blessing to take his daughter's hand in marriage. He says no, the guy gets rejected, and starts whining and crying about the dad being "rude", when we all know, that it's him that's rude.
Why we're here though is because Kidz Bop has made a version of this song. The lyrics are changed to fit the concept of kids singing it as clean as possible (with Car changed to Bike, because kids can't drive). But the huge problem here is, that the song here is about a guy asking a father for his daughter to marry him. So there will be implications from this cover...as in a KID asking the dad to marry his YOUNG daughter!
"I hate to do this, you leave no choice
Can't live without her"
Oh, you're standing up to him, huh?! Look at you acting all manly!
And by the way, there's no way she can live without you; the things she can't live without are her cellphone, her friends and a poster of One Direction. And you can't live without your bike, your boys, and playing video games on that Xbox One you got last Christmas.
Love me or hate me we will be boys
Standing at that altar
The only one who really fits the name "boy" is you!! You're too young to get married!!
"He said, 'You'll never get your blessing till the day I fly'"
Fly? Yeah that doesn't even make sense.

You know what? Screw the fact that it's Kidz Bop singing cover versions of popular songs for cheap-ass parents to buy for their kids with odd, questionable behavior to listen. It's songs like this that give the franchise backlash for taking songs like I'm Real, Toxic, Born This Way and Fancy and scrubbing them clean and turning them into cutesy, sugary, teenybopper songs made by kids, for kids. Give them horrid implications of KIDS doing disgusting things like have sex, realize they're gay and getting married! God this is sick.

For all intents and purposes, it works for money, but fails for morals. Kidz Bop, I won't say you suck hard, but I will say this: WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU??
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Special SLMR: All About that Bass (As Performed by the KIDZ BOP Kids)

"I'm Bringing Anal Baaaaaaaaack"
Fucking REALLY!?!?!



The actual line is
"I'm bringing it all back",
but for the past few weeks, this line and the entire rest of the song blew up across the internet because of people believing the line sounded like the Anal line. So of course they took to Twitter and air out their puzzled frustrations:




Oh my God, make it stop!! (Oh yeah, this isn't a video; I'm typing this down. I really can stop it myself.)

As for the rest of the song, it's...not bad. The vocals from the singers aren't half bad, and they can belt out some notes worthy for Nickelodeon or Disney Channel. The lyrics have mostly changed, and it's for the better. And they're funny too, never forget that. But it's good they scrubbed the cursing and harmful words from it.
But this is Kidz Bop we're talking about. Any song sung by the group of kids chosen by a group of producers to sing covers of popular songs aka make moronic choices in songs to make money and raise awareness to keep its relevance afloat.

And for my honest opinion of the original song, it's not a bad song. The beat is great (which may explain the "bringin' it all back" line), Trainor has a nice voice, and I thought the message of self-acceptance would've been great if the lyrics weren't so damn biased towards overweight people. It is catchy as hell though, and so it this, if not for the stupid implications.

I don't know why they chose this particular song for the tracklist, other than because it's a hit and making a cover of a hit will generate popularity and sales. And because of that, the franchise will continue for years and years. So get used to it America and the world. Kidz Bop is here to stay...whether you like it or not...for better or worse.

Also, unless word-of-mouth brought them there, but it's really sick when adults are listening to this song cover by Kidz Bop (Yes, I'm an adult too; blame Facebook, BuzzFeed and Uproxx for their word-of-mouth)
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Friday, February 13, 2015

Funday Friday: #6--Fox News Gets Schooled

Hey, everyone and Happy Funday Friday
Well, you guys know that Fox News Channel has a reputation for being a network that features reports and commentary with Conservative leanings. This happens during all of its programs (Yes, even Red Eye, the show it airs that matters anymore does this too).

So during The O'Reilly Factor, reporter Jesse Watters went to the small town of Bennington, Vermont for a segment on liberal bias in the media. This reporter tried to be Billy Eichner and embarrass the denizens and the town as a whole by asking questions based on liberal leanings for potential laughs for its viewers (some of which are probably too old to know who Billy Eichner is). This, in the short term, was not a good (or smart) idea for them. Because some students of the Quantum Leap Exhibit Program at local Mount Anthony Union High School were learning on ethics in journalism learned about Fox News' diabolical plan and fought back by outsmarting them in a deliciously brutal way. Check this out.

BURN!
Awesome job, students. You did your work, fact-checked Fox News' dumb-ass bullcrap and protected your town's reputation as a wonderful small town that just so happens to be proudly liberal-leaning. From one guy who can't stand Fox News' annoying conservative "Highbrow", condescending, bullshit to a group of such, I applaud you, I bow down to you, and if there's a way it could happen, I want to come to your town, shake your hands and hug you for such an badass takedown of a major news organization like Fox News and showing it how real fact checking is done. Great job, guys.
Fox News, go bankrupt.

Special thanks to Jeff Grimshaw for the link (Find him on Facebook, Twitter and YouTube) and Upworthy for the article (Also find it on Facebook and Twitter).
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Tuesday, February 10, 2015

Beck vs. Beyonce?: Who Cares Who Wins AoTY?



Hello, folks.
So earlier today, I was scrolling down Facebook, when this article from BuzzFeed popped up: "5 Reasons Why Beck Beat Beyonce".
I got a annoyed, yet I clicked on it to see what it was about. And they were five stupid reasons, indeed. One of thee worst is this:
1) His lyrics

5) His "artistry" aka Number of Writers

and 3) His "artistry" Part 2 aka Number of Instruments

And after that I got even more annoyed.

You know what> I have something to tell you people.
SHUT UP!! Your argument makes no sense!
Just because Beck has been in music longer than Beyonce DOESN'T MEAN SHIT.
Just because Beyonce is more popular than Beck DOESN'T MEAN SHIT!
Just because Beck is more musically-inclined than Beyonce DOESN'T MEAN SHIT!!
Just because Beyonce is more hotter than Beck DOESN'T MEAN SHIT!!!

Beck and Beyonce are two completely different artists of two completely different genres of music. And it was clearly proven during the Grammy Awards the other night. Beyonce won Best R&B Album for Beyonce, while Beck won Best Rock Album for Morning Phase. If you really want to overlook that with the Album of the Year category, you're a sad pathetic idiot.

Many like people like one over the other and that is fine. But making an argument over a foolish topic like this is mind-blowingly stupid, even on BuzzFeed's standards.
It's like saying The Walking Dead is better than Gravity Falls. They're two different series of two different genres with two different fanbases, sometimes overlapping, with some being fans of both. But arguing over which show is better than the other is super pointless as both shows are amazing in their own way.

I'm not saying that people listening to one album should listen to the other to see if it's better or equally amazing (which obviously isn't going to happen anyway), but this argument is fucking pointless. All of your time and effort into making a point is just baffling. Besides, both artists won 2 Grammys that year. Shouldn't all of you be happy with your respective musician's big win? And not talk shit about the other like a sane human would??

Honestly, in my opinion, I don't care who truly deserved the Album of the Year Grammy. I don't find the Grammys that important to me anymore. (especially since Taylor Swift won AoTY in 2009 with Fearless, although my point here is stupid because I've admittedly never listened to Fearless). So I really wouldn't care if any artist or any album wins an Grammy, even if it's one I really do like that hopes would win, had it be nominated. And even if I'm happy one artist won a Grammy, I don't get pissed enough to make a angry tweet about it on Twitter.

If you don't like Beyonce, fine. Don't shit on Beyonce!
If you don't like Beck, fine. Don't shit on Beck either!
But my point here is, don't waste your (somewhat) precious time on brain-damaging and humanity-questioning arguments like these. And I'm not a hypocrite, because I'm not that much of a fanatic of either of these artists, and I don't really care for either of them at all. I just don't understand why people are wasting their time on this pathetic-ass argument.
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Monday, February 09, 2015

Maroon Mondays Awards Reviews: 57th Grammy Awards--Winners

Hey, everyone. The Grammy Awards aired last night, so if you want to check that out, my review on the performances is under this review on the main site...so let's get into the winners!

Sam Smith was the big winner of the show, winning four awards, including Best New Artist and Record of the Year and Song of the Year for his monster smash "Stay with Me" and Best Pop Vocal Album for his highly-triumphed debut In The Lonely Hour. At the time, I was both happy for him and annoyed. Happy because he deserved those Grammys because he's talented, And annoyed, because he seemed like an obvious lock to win more than one Grammy that night. But I congratulate him for his wins.

Beyonce was also a good winner with two wins: R&B Perf. for Drunk in Love and Best R&B Album for her self-titled fifth album. It's annoying that the producers just choose random categories chosen for the broadcast just in case of the musicians appearing. This time there were a few surprises, mostly for Beck, which was meh. I'm gonna listen to him sometime soon, so congrats to him for the win. Also, Country got one little spotlight with Best Country Album going to Miranda Lambert for "Platinum"...and that's it. This was a slap in the face to country artists and fans, as their favorite genre doesn't get this much notice from that, and that's sad. And don't get me started on Rap & Hip-hop, which obviously got nothing shown in the main show, and you're lucky to get a notice on social media. This a big kick in the nuts for the artists and their fans. So I feel sorry for all of them. Come on, Grammys producers. Please put some more time to more categories next year and cut some time from the many performances. We don't need 3 1/2 hours of music that's going to bore us.
And I just noticed, if you're going to watch about the Grammy Awards just to whine about the many performances and how they bore you, then DON'T WATCH IT, DAMMIT!! There are many other shows on TV and DVD to watch. (And don't tell I watched too, or some shit; I have a reason. YOU DON'T.)

Now before I get to the winners, there were some
talked-about moments leading up to the opening of the envelope.

The part about Pentatronix sharing the stage with Barry Gibb was funny. Especially when the white dude
said how grateful he is to share the stage with him.

I thought this "You should be; this is the only time you'll ever matter on TV." Then Gibb made a mention of the other members of the iconic family band in a short speech during "Lifetime Achievement" honor.
For Christ's sake, Grammys producers, this guy is more famous, talented and well-known than these young artists, and all you could give him is a minute on stage with a band I've barely heard of and say like 3 sentences? That's disrespectful to the legacy of the Bee Gees.

During the presentation of Best Rock Album, New England Patriots cornerback Malcolm Butler took the envelope from Josh Duhmel's hands, with wide receiver Jullian Edelman mentioning it's another interception from Butler.
Yeeaahh...that wasn't funny. I understand these guys are basking in the glory of their teams Super Bowl win last week, but that was rude as hell.

Okay...when George Harrison was announced as of the Recording Academy's Lifetime Achievement Award, it really would've made a lot more sense if his fellow Beatles member Paul McCartney was on stage to make the mention. Maybe he declined because it would've been to emotional, maybe he didn't but still. Makes more sense there.

Before the reveal of Album of the Year, Prince made a short, yet powerful message about how albums as a whole still matter, like the lives of African Americans.

After the reveal was more "shock-worthy", sadly. After Beck won the award, Kanye West went up to him, said something, and left smiling, presumably saying a joke. Of course, this led us to think he was making a "Call Back" to that infamous incident at the 2009 MTV Video Music Awards. You know what it is. It was later revealed that Kanye wasn't joking and what he said was dead serious. And that smile was smug as hell.
Kanye...you're an asshole. This was just as unforgivable as that other incident (and I'm being serious here, I used to hate Taylor Swift's music back then, and thanks to you, I hate it way less). You're ignorant, selfish, whiny and a piece of crap. You better be lucky your music is still relevant today, because without it, the whole world will hate you more than Justin Bieber, who at this point has better music than you. (THAT'S RIGHT, I LIKE JUSTIN BIEBER'S MUSIC THAN YOURS!! I HAVE NO SHAME.)

And now, here are the rest of the Grammy Award winners of 2015. There aren't much:
As broadcast:
New Artist--Sam Smith
Pop Solo Perf.--Pharrell Williams-"Happy"
Pop Vocal Album--In The Lonely Hour-Sam Smith
Rock Album--Morning Phase-Beck
R&B Perf.--Beyonce-"Drunk in Love"
Country Album--Platinum-Miranda Lambert
Album of the Year--Morning Phase-Beck
Song of the Year--"Stay with Me"-Sam Smith

Announced Before the Main Show:
Best Traditional Pop Vocal Album: "Cheek to Cheek" - Tony Bennett & Lady Gaga

Best Dance Recording: "Rather Be" - Clean Bandit featuring Jess Glynne

Best Dance/Electronic Album: "Syro" - Aphex Twin

Best Contemporary Instrumental Album: "Bass & Mandolin" - Chris Thile & Edgar Meyer Jr.

Best Rock Performance: "Lazaretto" - Jack White

Best Metal Performance: "The Last in Line" - Tenacious D

Best Rock Song: "Ain't It Fun" - Paramore (Hayley Williams & Taylor York, songwriters)

Best Alternative Music Album: "St. Vincent" - St. Vincent

Best Traditional R&B Performance: "Jesus Children" - Robert Glasper Experiment featuring Lalah Hathaway & Malcolm-Jamal Warner

Best R&B Song: "Drunk in Love" - Beyonce featuring Jay Z (Shawn Carter, Rasool Diaz, Noel Fisher, Jerome Harmon, Beyoncé Knowles, Timothy Mosely, Andre Eric Proctor & Brian Soko, songwriters)

Best Urban Contemporary Album: "Girl" - Pharrell Williams

Best R&B Album: "Love, Marriage & Divorce" - Toni Braxton & Babyface

Best Rap Performance: "I" - Kendrick Lamar

Best Rap/Sung Collaboration: "The Monster" - Eminem featuring Rihanna

Best Rap Song: "I" - Kendrick Lamar (K. Duckworth & C. Smith, songwriters)

Best Rap Album: "The Marshall Mathers LP2" - Eminem

Best Country Solo Performance: "Something in the Water" - Carrie Underwood

Best Country Duo/Group Performance: "Gentle on My Mind" - The Band Perry

Best Country Song: "I'm Not Gonna Miss You" - Glen Campbell (Glen Campbell & Julian Raymond, songwriters)

Best New Age Album: "Winds of Samsara" - Ricky Kej & Wouter Kellerman

Best Improvised Jazz Solo: "Fingerprints" - Chick Corea, soloist

Best Jazz Vocal Album: "Beautiful Life" - Dianne Reeves

Best Jazz Instrumental Album: "Trilogy" - Chick Corea Trio

Best Large Jazz Ensemble Album: "Life in the Bubble" - Gordon Goodwin's Big Phat Band

Best Latin Jazz Album: "The Offense of the Drum" - Arturo O'Farrill & The Afro Latin Jazz Orchestra

Best Gospel Performance/Song: "No Greater Love" - Smokie Norful (Smokie Norful; Aaron W. Lindsey & Smokie Norful, songwriters)

Best Contemporary Christian Music Performance/Song: "Messengers" - Lecrae featuring For King & Country

Best Gospel Album: "Help" - Erica Campbell

Best Contemporary Christian Music Album: "Run Wild. Live Free. Love Strong." - For King & Country

Best Roots Gospel Album: "Shine For All the People" - Mike Farris

Best Latin Pop Album: "Tangos" - Ruben Blades

Best Latin Rock, Urban or Alternative Album: "Multiviral" - Calle 13

Best Regional Mexican Music Album (Including Tejano): "Mano A Mano - Tangos A La Manera De Vicente Fernandez" - Vicente Fernandez

Best Tropical Latin Album: "Mas + Corazon Profundo" - Carlos Vives

Best American Roots Performance: "A Feather's Not a Bird" - Rosanne Cash

Best American Roots Song: "A Feather's Not a Bird" - Rosanne Cash (Rosanne Cash & John Leventhal, songwriters)

Best Americana Album: "The River & The Thread" - Rosanne Cash

Best Bluegrass Album: "The Earls of Leicester" - The Earls of Leicester

Best Blues Album: "Step Back" - Johnny Winter

Best Folk Album: "Remedy" - Old Crow Medicine Show

Best Regional Roots Music Album: "The Legacy" - Jo-El Sonnier

Best Reggae Album: "Fly Rasta" - Ziggy Marley

Best World Music Album: "Eve" - Angelique Kidjo

Best Children's Album: "I Am Malala: How One Girl Stood Up For Education and Changed the World (Malala Yousafzai)" - Neela Vaswani

Best Spoken Word Album (Includes Poetry, Audio Books & Storytelling): "Diary of a Mad Diva" - Joan Rivers

Best Comedy Album: "Mandatory Fun" - "Weird Al" Yankovic
(the one I'm happy for the most. Go Weird Al!!)

Best Musical Theater Album: "Beautiful: The Carole King Musical" - Jessie Mueller, principal soloist; Jason Howland, Steve Sidwell & Billy Jay Stein, producers (Carole King, composer & lyricist) (Original Broadway Cast)

Best Compilation Soundtrack for Visual Media: "Frozen" - Kristen Anderson-Lopez, Robert Lopez, Tom MacDougall & Chris Montan, compilation producers

Best Score Soundtrack for Visual Media: "The Grand Budapest Hotel" - Alexandre Desplat, composer

Best Song Written for Visual Media: "Let It Go" - Idina Menzel (Kristen Anderson-Lopez & Robert Lopez, songwriters)

Best Instrumental Composition: "The Book Thief" - John Williams, composer

Best Arrangement, Instrumental or A Capella: "Daft Punk" - Pentatonix (Ben Bram, Mitch Grassi, Scott Hoying, Avi Kaplan, Kirstin Maldonado & Kevin Olusola, arrangers)

Best Arrangement, Instruments and Vocals: "New York Tendaberry" Billy Childs featuring Renee Fleming & Yo-Yo Ma (Billy Childs, arranger)

Best Recording Package: "Lightning Bolt" - Pearl Jam (Jeff Ament, Don Pendleton, Joe Spix & Jerome Turner, art directors)

Best Boxed or Special Edition Limited Edition Package: "The Rise & Fall of Paramount Records, Volume One (1917-27)" - Various Artists (Susan Archie, Dean Blackwood & Jack White, art directors)

Best Album Notes: "Offering: Live At Temple University" - John Coltrane (Ashley Kahn, album notes writer)

Best Historical Album: "The Garden Spot Programs, 1950" - Hank Williams (Colin Escott & Cheryl Pawelski, compilation producers; Michael Graves, mastering engineer)

Best Engineered Album, Non-Classical: "Morning Phase" - Beck (Tom Elmhirst, David Greenbaum, Florian Lagatta, Cole Marsden Greif-Neill, Robbie Nelson, Darrell Thorp, Cassidy Turbin & Joe Visciano, engineers; Bob Ludwig, mastering engineer)

Producer of the Year, Non-Classical: Max Martin

Best Remixed Recording, Non-Classical: "All Of Me (Tiesto's Birthday Treatment Remix)" - John Legend (Tijs Michiel Verwest, remixer)

Best Surround Sound Album: "Beyonce" - Beyonce (Elliot Scheiner, surround mix engineer; Bob Ludwig, surround mastering engineer; Beyonce Knowles, surround producer)

Best Engineered Album, Classical: "Vaughan Williams: Dona Nobis Pacem; Symphony No. 4; The Lark Ascending" - Robert Spano, Norman Mackenzie, Atlanta Symphony Orchestra & Chorus (Michael Bishop, engineer; Michael Bishop, mastering engineer)

Producer of the Year, Classical: Judith Sherman

Best Orchestral Performance: "Adams, John: City Noir" - St. Louis Symphony (David Robertson, conductor)

Best Opera Recording: "Charpentier: La Descente D'Orphee Aux Enfers" - Boston Early Music Festival Chamber Ensemble; Boston Early Music Festival Vocal Ensemble (Paul O'Dette & Stephen Stubbs, conductors; Aaron Sheehan; Renate Wolter-Seevers, producer)

Best Choral Performance: "The Sacred Spirit of Russia" - Conspirare (Craig Hella Johnson, conductor)

Best Chamber Music/Small Ensemble Performance: "In 27 Pieces - The Hilary Hahn Encores" - Hilary Hahn & Cory Smythe

Best Classical Instrumental Solo: "Play" - Jason Vieaux

Best Classical Solo Vocal Album: "Douce France" - Carl Bagge, Margareta Bengston, Mats Bergström, Per Ekdahl, Bengan Janson, Olle Linder & Antoine Tamestit (Anne Sofie Von Otter; Bengt Forsberg, accompanist)

Best Classical Compendium: "Partch: Plectra & Percussion Dances" - Partch (John Schneider, producer)

Best Contemporary Classical Composition: "Adams, John Luther: Become Ocean" - Ludovic Morlot & Seattle Symphony (John Luther Adams, composer)

Best Music Video: "Happy" - Pharrell Williams (We Are From LA, video director; Kathleen Heffernan, Solal Micenmacher, Jett Steiger, video producers)

Best Music Film: "20 Feet From Stardom" - Darlene Love, Merry Clayton, Lisa Fischer & Judith Hill (Morgan Neville, video director; Gil Friesen & Caitrin Rogers, video producers)
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Maroon Mondays Awards Reviews: 57th Grammy Awards--Performances



Hello everyone.
Welcome to my review of the 57th Annual Grammy Awards.
Let's get things straight: it was kinda boring. Many of the performances had everyone confined to standing in front of mic stands or instruments or just stand. And there was less background stuff (lights, pyro, ect.) than before, and usually that hurts my eyes, but this time around it's just so-so. I mean, nothing much excited me. I honestly enjoyed the music, but the extra stuff was just bare. I guess the producers realized music does matter over pizzazz, but the viewers watching really don't. I do, however.

We start off with AC/DC rocking out to their classics "Rock or Bust" and "Highway to Hell". These guys still got it. No matter how old they are.

Host LL Cool J came to the stage performing the chorus of his classic "Going Back to Cali" (which makes no sense as the Grammy have been held in Cali since 2004) and then did something different. Instead of a comedic monologue, he instead mentioned the act performing this year

Ariana Grande performed a new song (which'll definitely be another hit for her) "Just A Little Bit of Your Heart" a love ballad for the age. My God, her voice is so beautiful, just like her and her outfit. It was a small, simple performance, but this was nonetheless perfect. If this is the start of a more mature Ariana, I must ask, what about the start of her career? She's always been mature about her music, lyric-wise and behavior-wise. So she's alright for a long time.

Jessie J and the legendary Sir Tom Jones came together for a duet to celebrate the marriage of . This was another great performance. Both singers hit the mark and beyond, both individually and together.

Miranda Lambert sang "Little Red Wagon", and just proves why she is one of the hottest acts in Country. The song is red-hot, and her vocals were red-hot. But to me, they sound like something a whiny, obnoxious, clingy, 12-year-old with relationship issues would sing.

He's back. After 6 years, Kanye West returns to perform a new song "Only One". His performance is really good and the lyrics are beautiful but, Kanye sounded terrible on that butt-load of Auto-Tune. I mean really terrible. But he was wonderful here.

And straight after that, another return to the stage. This time from the Lady of Sex and More Sex herself (and someone Miley Cyrus referred to as "our bitch"), Madonna. Basically, from watching this, I feel that I'm going to Hell when I die. Seriously, Matadors and bulls mixed with Madonna's usual mix of BDSM and creepiness.
Her vocals were really good, though.

Ed Sheeran has really had a great career these past few years (it's like he doesn't need Grammys) and that really shows in his performance of "Thinking Out Loud" with his special guests John Mayer, ?uestlove of The Roots, Adam Blackstone and Herbie Hancock. This had to be one of my favorite performances the moment his name, Mayer's, ?uest's, Blackstone's and Hancock's names were announced. This wonderful sound of the instruments meshing just made it work. It's a soft, soothing performance I just love.

Straight after, Jeff Lynne and Electric Light Orchestra performed their classic hits "Evil Woman" and while being joined by Sheeran, "Blue Sky". This is just an extension of magic. The band still has it, because it never left. My God, I've been missing a lot in music.

Maroon 5 frontman Adam Levine and fellow The Voice coach Gwen Stefani sing a beautiful rendition of the band's song "My Heart is Open". Both singers' vocals were really good and I kinda enjoyed this one.

Hozier performed his breakthrough "Take Me to Church" with icon Annie Lennox. I had no words; but that they were so damn good. You know it could get better from here. And it did when Ms. Lennox peroformed a classic by Screamin' Jay Hawkins, "I Put A Spell on You" with Hozier on guitar. Dang it, I gotta say this: best performance of the night SO FAR.

Pharrell Williams made us feel good in a different way, performing the hit he'll probably get tired of singing in a few years, "Happy", this time as a partial spoken word with help from well-beloved pianist and iconic score maker Hans Zimmer. All I could notice is the outfit he wore, which was like a bellhop. But boy, was this amazing.

Katy Perry sang "By the Grace of God" (a song that has nothing to do with religion, but about her divorce from Russell Brand) in front of what clearly was a screen behind her. Her vocals were very well, and although the screen was distracting, it really helped make this performance a little better...and almost make me cry. I would've loved the performance even more if the title was different.

Lady Gaga and Tony Bennett just make me happy every time they perform together, this time with "Cheek to Cheek". My Gosh, if their album didn't bring back Classical and Standards back in a great way, I don't know what will.

Usher performed "If It's Magic", one of the immortal classics by an immortal musician, Stevie Wonder. His vocals were amazing, almost as amazing those of Mr. Wonder himself, who would later appear at the end of the performance. The song here almost putting me in a wonderful trance I really wouldn't mind being trapped in. Probably because of the harp player's skills.

Eric Church performed "Give Me Back My Hometown". I'm not into Country that much, so I didn't enjoy it that much. He was good.

Rihanna performed a new song, "FourFiveSeconds" with Kanye West and Paul McCartney. It was fine, but...Kanye sucks at singing, Rihanna was weak, and McCartney was pretty much drowned out by everything else. So yeah, it was crap.

Sam Smith sings "Stay with Me" for the 100th time on TV (this year; just kidding) with his guest Mary J. Blige. It was...fine. No, it's not either singer that's at fault here (as both were so amazing), it's that this song has gotten irritating to me now. I play songs on YT and on my playlists a lot, so I never know when it's enough for me to stop, but when this song comes up, I get less interested to listen, and then I stop altogether. So, yeah, really fine performance here, but this is probably the last time I here "Stay with Me" for a while.

Sia sang her monster hit "Chandelier"
Like Stay with Me, I've also really got annoyed with this song. I've heard this many times since the first time I've heard it, and it's been in my heard ever since. It's an over-glorified drunken party girl song, that's it. It's a really good song, but it's so over the place, that it's beginning to annoy me, maybe more than the latter song. So basically, this performance here is just like her last ones, just a little kid in a wig doing artsy-yet-funny dances all around a dingy room. There isn't much from it for me.
Oh yeah, and Kristen Wiig was in it. I knew from her SNL performance that it would be funny and someone from that show would be in it. Fortunately, I was satisfied on both fronts. You can't tell me it's not supposed to be funny when the woman behind Gilly, Target Lady and the Female A-Hole is a part of it.

Beyonce performed a hymn "Take My Hand Hand, Precious Lord". I felt many a feeling from this one, left me speechless, and almost cried from her vocals. Beyonce just did that, and made one of the best performances of the entire show.
She later led to Common and John Legend performing their song "Glory" from the soundtrack of critically-acclaimed film "Selma". And My God, this was also gave me many feelings and left me speechless. These two performances end the 57th Grammys on a somber not, but they also ended it on a great note, too.

Here are my Top 5 favorite performances:
5-Pharrell-"Happy"
4-Sam Smith with Mary J. Blige-"Stay with Me"
3-Ed Sheeran and Friends-"Thinking Out Loud" and Jeff Lynne's ELO-"Evil Woman" & "Mr. Blue Sky" w/ Ed Sheeran
2-Beyonce-"Take My Hand, Precious Child" & Common and John Legend-"Glory"
1-Hozier-"Take Me to Church" & Annie Lennox-"I Put A Spell on You"

Thank you all for joining me for my review of the 57th Grammy Awards. Have a good one.
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Friday, February 06, 2015

Funday Friday: #5--The Best Super Bowl XLIX Ads

Happy Friday, everyone.
Welcome to Funday Friday, and I, Andrew, want to tell you, not every Super Bowl I hated a lot. There were some I totally liked a lot.

So I bring you my picks for the Best Ads from Super Bowl XLIX. In a particular order that is a Top 6. (And I'm not throwing in a best ad in there because a certain celebrity or surprise is in it. There's more to that to make the list)
But first here are some Honorable Mentions.

Always--"Like A Girl"
Sure, you've heard this term used before as an insult, but to these girls, it doesn't mean more then doing certain things the best they can do it.

This is a very inspiring ad, teaching girls to be themselves; it's very good and powerful--although since this is an Always ad, it's also funny to watch this and not think "How do you hit like a girl?", but think "How do you pee like a girl?" or "How do you put on a tampon like a girl?" or "How do you wear a maxi-pad, or PMS or get a period...like a girl?".

Esuruance--"Sorta"

Okay, I'm kidding, it's this one, "Say My Name".

Yes, because Bryan Cranston returns in his role of Walter White. How'd you know?

Nissan--"With Dad"

Even though it's still an ad by a car company, this one really pulled at the heartstrings. A dad working as a race-car driver, but always makes sure his family is first. Even though his son may not believe it. This sure opened up my eyes.

Bud Lite--"Real Life Pac-Man"

I swear if this exists, I'll sell my kidney to play that. I'M NOT KIDDING. Seeing the guy play Pac-Man, it felt like I was there either in the crowd or doing the game. Hell, I'll drink Bud Lite for the rest of my life if this happens.

Coca-Cola--"Make It Happy"

Yeah, sure. Leaving a bottle of Coca-Cola in the world's Internet infrastructure is such a great idea. But yeah, if it can somehow make it a more positive place to live, than...I'm okay with it.
Okay, I'm a sucker for commercials with positive messages, so yeah, it's here. And I love the message.
Screw the fact that buying and/or drinking Coca-Cola can make the world happier, and pouring some into the entire World's Internet server can make it happier. It's all about the positive. Speaking of positive...
Here are the Top 6 Ads!!

6) Loctite Glue--"Positive Feelings"
I don't know which is better: this product or average-looking people with a great sense of humor dancing awkward.

I'm going with average-looking people with a great sense of humor dancing awkward. Not because it's funny, but because it's cool. But I'll admit, it was funny too.

5) Dodge--"Wisdom"
"Don't bitch." Something we all should all live by

Elderly people telling us "youngsters" about how to live a good life...and how to live it to the fullest. I LOVE IT!!

4) NoMore.org--"Official SBA/Help End Domestic Violence"

It was really bold for a company to do an ad for combating domestic violence, but if it was going to air during a major-televised sporting event, I'd say "Well Done", "Great Job" and "You're a Genius". It's a serious ad, but it really did help in stopping such a horrible thing like domestic violence. And the message is wide open, so that people can understand it and not get shocked by it. If only someone else knew this.
I wish there would be more of these ads, as this thing will not go away easy. (Maybe the NBA Finals can help.)

3) Snickers--"Brady Bunch Spoof"

I always lose it when Carol Brady says "Marcia, eat a Snickers". Also, the appearances of Danny Trejo as Marcia and Steve Buscemi as "Jan" made this SBA perfect. In fact, everything was perfect: the stunt doubles used for Carol and Mike Brady, the audio and visual effects for the ad, and the perfect use of green screen placement (especially when Buscemi is running out of the room, it's like he's running out in the actual Brady house hallway.) All-in-all, perfect genius ad.

2) Fiat--"500X/Blue Pill"
A man is planning to get busy with a lady friend, and was about to use the blue pill to get him hard, but after a little misdirection with popping it, and a lot of bouncing...well, you saw it, just check it out.

This was a surprisingly genius (and surprisingly hilarious) ad. A blue pill making a small car bigger. And you would think the projectile falling around would be filler here, but I think it helped out a lot here. You think it would land in someone's cup or in their mouth, but no, it ended up in someone's car. My god, this ad.

1) Budweiser -- "Puppy Love 2: Lost Dog"
Come on, we all knew this is happening.

Even if Budweiser continues this storyline until it gets annoying, I'll still love it.
Everything here is beautiful. The acting chemistry and bond between the Clydesdale and Puppy (I honestly never thought there was any in two animals, let alone different ones) was truly and strongly effervescent. It still shows the two Buds are still great friends and love hanging out together; no matter where one goes, the other will follow. The part near the end when the Puppy runs back home, but is cornered by wolves really scared me. But his friends in the other Clydesdales (or the Clydes Crew, in my words) has his back. It's a wonderful sight. And the two pals are together again.

This was emotional, powerful and awesome. The people at the Budweiser ad department knew what they were doing, continually making this ad franchise with the Clydesdales a winning tradition with the Super Bowl and its viewers. It's brilliant, and it will tickle you in the feels.
I LOVE THIS AD SO MUCH and it's my favorite of them all.
And it's my pick for the Best Ad of Super Bowl XLIX

And there they are--my picks for the best Ads from Super Bowl XLIX. What are your favorite ads, let me know in the comments section. I'd love to see your faves.
Thanks for joining me for another Funday Friday. Have a good weekend.
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Wednesday, February 04, 2015

The Worst Super Bowl XLIX Ads

Aahh, the Super Bowl, the biggest game, not only in football, but also of sports. Everyone tunes in every year to see the best teams in the league face off in an epic match to win a trophy and some rings.
But to some, the best part of the Bowl are the commercials; The small parts in the breaks between the quarters in which companies (food, automobile, mobile, insurance, ect.) shell out a lot of money to make funny ads to give people interest in their products. The more expensive, the more grand. But in this case, the grandiose and humor won't excuse how bad they are.
I present to you my choices for the Worst Ads of Super Bowl XLIX.

But first, here are a few Honorable Mentions:
McDonald's--"Pay with Lovin""
The reason it's here is because of the implications and well-aware implications that came from the ad. You see, for this month only, the company is letting employees randomly choose customers for something special: instead of paying for their order, they are chosen to pay by doing a task that includes love:

But many people took this another way. Instead of love and hugs, they put out sex and heart failure.








Yeah, if this campaign ever works out McDonald's, be gratful all that money you generated will overcome the mock ads your rivals will produce.

Squarespace--"Om/Creeping--Dreaming with Jeff"
Normally women dreaming of Jeff Bridges in their bedrooms is a perfect lullaby. But Jeff Bridges in your bedroom singing a monotone lullaby in real life is weird. And a website that does this from your computer (which is real mind you, not something you can make using the Squarespace software) is straight up creepy.

Jeep--"Beautiful Lands"
This would seem like a beautiful commercial showing off how awesome and proud Earth is, until you notice it's one for a car company.

It's like it's saying "If you want to travel this beautiful, proud, spacious and amazing world, get a Jeep." Yeah, sums it up quite nicely. Also, how the hell can you travel to other countries when this can barely travel from state to state?

Mophie--"All-Powerless"

Yeah, this is stupid. I mean--how can you watch TV when the world is ending?? Dumb priest.

And now let's get to my picks of the SBAs I just hated. Not because they're terrible as a whole, but because there's a certain element that makes them terrible in my eyes.
5) Carl's Jr.--"Au Naturel"
Now, I've said I'm a dog before on this site, but if this ad is of any indication, I am not that kind of dog.

You know Carl's Jr. is know for its hot and sexy ads, and I'll give them some credit for being bold to sell its products, but since the concept has been used over and over for profit to diminishing returns (and because this area are no locations in Philly [the closest from here is near Toronto, Ontario, Canada]), it just ends up lazy. It's like they're saying "I think we're out of ideas, so let's make an ad about a model walking naked! Sort of.". And yeah, this is what we have.
And it shows men are still horny pricks.

4) TurboTax--"(NOT)Boston Tea Party/Alright Then"
I don't know what to say about this: It's a reenactment of the Boston Tea Party...and then it's...What is this?

It's not "not funny" because it's offensive, it's "not funny" because there's nothing to laugh at. The tone just doesn't feel right. All we see is people stopping one of the most infamous moments in history all because of a simple thing, say "Alright then", and move on with their lives. I just don't find it that funny.

3) Doritos--"When Pigs Fly"
You know how this goes: Kid sees Doritos. Jerkass adult male eats some. Kid hatches scheme. Adult is gullible enough to believe it. Kid gets Doritos. The whole damn concept is used over and over for its SBAs (Super Bowl Ads).
But it's on the list for the same old concept being used to death by the company to diminishing returns. Hell, their last commercial was my pick for the best SBA because it was funny and creative. Now it's like they're barely trying anymore.

Also, didn't he get the bag yesterday; wouldn't make sense to save the bag to the next day. And it's not a bad thing to give the boy a couple chips; he'll leave you alone straight after. Also, kid, can't you buy your own bag?? It's a waste of time to build a dirigible that could've potentially killed a pig to prove how much you desperately want a bag of unhealthy, pasteurized chips you could've easily bought at the convenience store.
Oh yeah, and another thing, it's stupid.

2) T-Mobile--"More Kim"
T-Mobile, this is the reason I'm almost dropping you. It's good that Kim is aware of how narcissistic she is to make a joke, but who cares?



1) Nationwide--"Boy Can't Grow/Make Safe Happen"
You already KNOW why it's #1.

This one...just...scarred everyone. Hard.

I mean, what a twist. It wasn't that sweet at all, but to see it happen at the end? *shiver* I would've appreciated it more if the revelation happened at the beginning. This would lead to a few memes throughout the night, all of them funny
and tweets too.






So yeah, while commercials were good to me, the companies won't care; they'll just rake in the money they're getting from it and they do this again next Super Bowl. And I'll have another bunch of ads to despise.
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Tuesday, February 03, 2015

Saturday Night Live 40 Review: JK Simmons & D'Angelo



Welcome to another SNL40 Review, hosted this time by highly-acclaimed and awarded actor JK Simmons. Seriously, he came in just after winning a Golden Globe and SAG Award for his role in "Whiplash", a film I've actually never heard of until awards season came in. The closest thing I've known him from is the voice of this guy.

Oh well, let's get into it.

The Cold Open takes place from KING-TV 5 in Seattle, as Seahawks quarterback richard Sherman (Pharaoh) and special guest and good friend…running back Marshawn Lynch (Kenan) host Super Bowl Shut-Down.

Some great parts include:
Sherman brutally shut down New York City idiot--I mean mayor Bill De Blasio for that “blizzard”, Marshawn Lynch refusing to talk at all, and how the white guy at the end (TKill aka Usual Guy #2) tries to act urban, but fails.
All I will say is that was kinda funny, and a pretty good start to a pretty good episode.

After the usual (speaking of which, dammit, Darrell Hammond really opened up and shined this time; he said everyone’s names with pomp, circumstance, moxie, spunk and power, and I just love that), JK (best known from the Sam Raimi Spider-Man films, The Legend of Korra, the Farmers Insurance ads and Growing Up Fisher, a show on NBC that got cancelled [screw them for that]) is on stage for for his monologue, which is pretty much a mock of his movie "Whiplash", in which he plays a character that snaps at people into playing the drums correctly. (I didn't see the film so bear with me for that)
During the week of prep, he gets close with KyMoo & Lil Aidy, and they begin making a song based on the stupid blizzard that never happened. JK then becomes a diva when Kyle does the wrong pitch.

He also does this Pete Dave and LesJones before also scaring Aidy off as well.
His tirades were really funny and his well-known technique of screaming made it priceless. And even though I've seen him play them before, Fred Armisen playing drums is magnificent.

In this Pre-Tape tied to the big game, a group of football fans (some of the male members & JKS) are ready for snacks and one of the guys’ wife (Nessa B) comes in with a fix’in: Totino’s Pizza Rolls. And when the food is given, she retreats to the kitchen...with nothing else to do...barely to return again.

Another genius pre-tape here, mocking commercials where women give the snacks to the men...and then go away. And they're treated like servants and the men their masters. Nessa B did amazing as the wife, who sounds gleefully clueless and unaware (or somewhat aware) of how her husband is terribly treating her in front of his friends, just like every other woman in those commercials. Painful, yet hilarious.

The Sketch After mocks all the major televised beauty pageants (including Miss America, Miss Universe and Miss World) with a pageant dedicated to finding the most disgusting, rancid, unacceptable excuses of human beings, and showing them off to you for your viewing enjoyment (and laughing and pointing).

The sad thing is that these women seem to be aware of the fact that they are skanky, rancid, horrible excuses of human females.
Another sad thing is that I hoped Leslie and Sasheer would be in the sketch, but then I thought it would’ve been too funny, really expected...and racist. Some people believe that Black women being portrayed as skanks on TV would be seen as racist, some said by African Americans themselves. Blacks, don’t defend your own when you know some of your own is just like then, only worse. Here's an example:

Anyway, this was very funny and, while not imaginative, it’s just a great mocking of pageants. I wish there was another sketch making fun of the sexist nature and bubble-brained contestants of pageants, just because.

Reese De’What returns, and like his last appearance, it was just as funny. This time, as host of “Cinema Classics”, he brings us a just-released alternate version of the ending of “Casablanca”.

I thought the gag with Kate Mc as Ilsa saying “No” in a whiny, thick accent was funny at first, until I kept hearing the audience laughing at it as if it was the best thing of the night, which made it get old really quickly. Needless to say, that was a really good skit. Kate was awesome as Ilsa and JK did a great job as Rick. So yeah, one of the best of the night.

After it, a pre-tape lampooning the recent blizzard storm that never was.
Teachers are celebrating when students are staying home with the handful of snow as excuse.

It was a “meh” kind. There were a few here or there, but the jokes weren’t funny enough to sustain the whole thing. Fortunately, things picked up when JK came in as the school’s principal.

“Pushie: the Big Annoying Pain with Feelings”
A man is typing a birthday card to a friend, but is stopped by Pushie (Moyni), an annoying computer animation designed to help PC users with a problem on Microsoft products.

This one was hilarious, spoofing the paper clip of the same sort that also annoyed millions with its presence.
The bouncy, happy disposition Bobby displayed was surprisingly refreshing, despite what he was meant to play. And when he was almost offed--literally, he displayed some good enough dramatic acting to make me feel sorry for him, and it was good.
The “Murder Pushie” part was dark, and did make me feel sad for a little bit (thanks to Bobby doing a great job being a sad Pushie), but also funny. And I admit, even though I thought it would happen and would’ve laughed had he actually go through with it, I was happy when the guy did not murder Pushie; he was kinda cool.

This next pre-tape is genius. Taking whitewashing in movies to a ridiculous new level, with "The Jay-Z Story". Trust me when I say...this is fucking hilarious.

Writer Mike O'Brien escaped the writers hole once again to star as Hova, with Jason Sudeikis as Kanye West and JK as Nas. This one is impossibly hilarious, with the genius element being that the white actors don't even try to be Black guys.
I loved the idea of O"Brien and his short film sketches this season. I'm still creeped out by "Grow-A-Guy", but this concept just might work wonders along with the rest of the great pre-tape boom of this season. I'd love to see another of these before the season ends, so please, Lorne and the producers, give Mike another one of these soon.

In the Five-to-One sketch, it’s Career Day and a dad (JKS) comes to his son Jake (Pete Dave)’s class talk about his career...which is a food fetish performer.

The only thing I can remember fondly about it is “American Boy who Eats in The Manner of a Pig”, and that may not be a good thing. The only laugh I gave was that little “Uh-Huh” from Jake. It was really creepy for the class, teachers and the two adults to find something comforting about this guy’s career and praise it like something deserving of an Academy Award. I found something deserving of a puke bucket.
I understamd where SNL is going with an odd concept for a sketch, but to make it work, it needs to have a certain element of humor to go along with it. This sketch does not have that element. I felt just as disgusted and embarrassed as Jake with this skit. Disgusted for obvious reasons, and disgusted for watching this more than once for this review. But to be honest, if I would do this job to get paid $45K, I'd do it. Screw my dignity...as long as it not in front of a televised audience.


This week's musical has been in music for 20+ years now, and have become a huge part of the Neo-Soul genre along with Maxwell, Lauryn Hill and Erykah Badu. But he has only two albums made, before his pesonal life spiraled out of control. Fortunately, he's done great, and has gone back into music in a big way. And has released a critally-acclaimed third album with some really wonderful music we've heard tonight.
He's D'Angelo
First up, “Really Love”.

I’ll say this about the performance and song: I can’t explain it how I feel about it. The beat is perfect, perfect for a slow dance or a nice jam at a party or at home.
The performance by his band, Black Messiah, was so damn great; the string performers did amazing, the guitar man was awesome and the drum work was perfectly smooth. And D’angelo’s vocals (along with those of the backup singer woman’s) bring it all together. And the backup singer woman at the beginning speaking low-volume Spanish? Made me hot under the collar.

And finally, The Charade.

This performance garnered a lot of interest from everyone because the stage. The members of The Vanguard wore black shirts with white-colored phrases on them that say either “Black Lives Matter” or “I Can’t Breathe”, which are based on the incidents surrounding the deaths of Michael Brown and Eric Garner and there is a tape outline on the stage floor. This was a bold statement from the guy and his band and had us talking for the good. Oh, and the song rocked! Big time. The guitar work was awesome, the vocals were great and the message was powerful and clear.
D’Angelo’s back, he’s still got it, and he let it all on stage.

Time For an Update:
Part 1:

Part 2:

All I can say is, Jost has no reason to go to quinceneras, and should never go. I guess there’s more to that dull personality than he wants to let on?
Also, I felt a nice edge to Che during his riff on Black History Month Post Office stamps; felt like something he’d work on at The Daily Show. Really good (maybe because of the mention of the Maury Show, which suckered me in, but whatever).

Two recurring Update characters appeared again this week.
First up, One-Dimensional Female Character (played by CecStrong), who discussed her thoughts on this years’ Super Bowl. She had some good laughs, but her time here was a bit weaker than last time, which was impossible, but I thought ODFC wasn’t a very strong character (pun intended) for Strong.

Jebediah Atkinson is back! One of my favorite Update characters returned for what made him so popular: his bitingly hilarious critiques of everything TV, music and film. All while being a man from the 1800s who somehow lived long enough on hate to reach this millenium.
His opinions on the Grammy Awards nominees were painfully hysterical and deliciously heartbreaking. I’ve never enjoyed a character who can dish out brutal honestly for laughs like him.
And, Really, Audience? You know who Jebediah is, and you know what his jokes are about. So don’t so sensitive about his jokes when they are tame compared to even the least crude TV shows.

Favorite Sketches:
-Pushie
-Cinema Classics

Best Pre-Tapes:
The Jay-Z Story
Totino's Ad

Worst Sketches:
-Career Day
-Miss Trash

I loved JK’s performance as a straight man of a sort in the sketches, yet says some very absurd things while being serious. He has that energy from his other famous roles and puts them into these roles in the sketches. Most of them were good with the only truly terrible ones being Miss Trash and Career Day.
Once again Kate McKinnon shined this week, mostly from her role as Ilsa in the "Cinema Classics" skit. Seriously saying "No!" in that way and her clear aware tone was hilarious. Kate has that talent to shine above everyone else and become one of the most popular cast members of this era.
Also doing the most laughs is Bobby Moynihan, thanks to being Pushie. I know I've said a lot about him this season so far for being on overused cast member, but this time he's appeared relatively smaller this time, with the most prominence being a couple lines in a few sketches, and of course as Pushie, but it's as Pushie that made me fond of him this time. I actually enjoyed his presence and I also used that role as an metaphor meaning that I wish he'd get lesser screentime, but then he played Pushie, and I wanted him more. Thanks a lot, Moyni! You got me to want more from you down the road! I hope you're happy! Thanks.

So folks, SNL will be in a small hiatus during February. Why? Because it's got a big day ahead of it.

It's 40th Anniversary Special is coming up on the 15th! Past SNL cast members return to the studio that made them household names and famous comedic actors to reminesce on the sketches they love and moments that everyone will love to hear about. I can't wait to watch and you have to too.
See you later for another SNL40 Review.
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