Maroon Mondays Awards Reviews: 57th Grammy Awards--Winners

Hey, everyone. The Grammy Awards aired last night, so if you want to check that out, my review on the performances is under this review on the main site...so let's get into the winners!

Sam Smith was the big winner of the show, winning four awards, including Best New Artist and Record of the Year and Song of the Year for his monster smash "Stay with Me" and Best Pop Vocal Album for his highly-triumphed debut In The Lonely Hour. At the time, I was both happy for him and annoyed. Happy because he deserved those Grammys because he's talented, And annoyed, because he seemed like an obvious lock to win more than one Grammy that night. But I congratulate him for his wins.

Beyonce was also a good winner with two wins: R&B Perf. for Drunk in Love and Best R&B Album for her self-titled fifth album. It's annoying that the producers just choose random categories chosen for the broadcast just in case of the musicians appearing. This time there were a few surprises, mostly for Beck, which was meh. I'm gonna listen to him sometime soon, so congrats to him for the win. Also, Country got one little spotlight with Best Country Album going to Miranda Lambert for "Platinum"...and that's it. This was a slap in the face to country artists and fans, as their favorite genre doesn't get this much notice from that, and that's sad. And don't get me started on Rap & Hip-hop, which obviously got nothing shown in the main show, and you're lucky to get a notice on social media. This a big kick in the nuts for the artists and their fans. So I feel sorry for all of them. Come on, Grammys producers. Please put some more time to more categories next year and cut some time from the many performances. We don't need 3 1/2 hours of music that's going to bore us.
And I just noticed, if you're going to watch about the Grammy Awards just to whine about the many performances and how they bore you, then DON'T WATCH IT, DAMMIT!! There are many other shows on TV and DVD to watch. (And don't tell I watched too, or some shit; I have a reason. YOU DON'T.)

Now before I get to the winners, there were some
talked-about moments leading up to the opening of the envelope.

The part about Pentatronix sharing the stage with Barry Gibb was funny. Especially when the white dude
said how grateful he is to share the stage with him.

I thought this "You should be; this is the only time you'll ever matter on TV." Then Gibb made a mention of the other members of the iconic family band in a short speech during "Lifetime Achievement" honor.
For Christ's sake, Grammys producers, this guy is more famous, talented and well-known than these young artists, and all you could give him is a minute on stage with a band I've barely heard of and say like 3 sentences? That's disrespectful to the legacy of the Bee Gees.

During the presentation of Best Rock Album, New England Patriots cornerback Malcolm Butler took the envelope from Josh Duhmel's hands, with wide receiver Jullian Edelman mentioning it's another interception from Butler.
Yeeaahh...that wasn't funny. I understand these guys are basking in the glory of their teams Super Bowl win last week, but that was rude as hell.

Okay...when George Harrison was announced as of the Recording Academy's Lifetime Achievement Award, it really would've made a lot more sense if his fellow Beatles member Paul McCartney was on stage to make the mention. Maybe he declined because it would've been to emotional, maybe he didn't but still. Makes more sense there.

Before the reveal of Album of the Year, Prince made a short, yet powerful message about how albums as a whole still matter, like the lives of African Americans.

After the reveal was more "shock-worthy", sadly. After Beck won the award, Kanye West went up to him, said something, and left smiling, presumably saying a joke. Of course, this led us to think he was making a "Call Back" to that infamous incident at the 2009 MTV Video Music Awards. You know what it is. It was later revealed that Kanye wasn't joking and what he said was dead serious. And that smile was smug as hell.
Kanye...you're an asshole. This was just as unforgivable as that other incident (and I'm being serious here, I used to hate Taylor Swift's music back then, and thanks to you, I hate it way less). You're ignorant, selfish, whiny and a piece of crap. You better be lucky your music is still relevant today, because without it, the whole world will hate you more than Justin Bieber, who at this point has better music than you. (THAT'S RIGHT, I LIKE JUSTIN BIEBER'S MUSIC THAN YOURS!! I HAVE NO SHAME.)

And now, here are the rest of the Grammy Award winners of 2015. There aren't much:
As broadcast:
New Artist--Sam Smith
Pop Solo Perf.--Pharrell Williams-"Happy"
Pop Vocal Album--In The Lonely Hour-Sam Smith
Rock Album--Morning Phase-Beck
R&B Perf.--Beyonce-"Drunk in Love"
Country Album--Platinum-Miranda Lambert
Album of the Year--Morning Phase-Beck
Song of the Year--"Stay with Me"-Sam Smith

Announced Before the Main Show:
Best Traditional Pop Vocal Album: "Cheek to Cheek" - Tony Bennett & Lady Gaga

Best Dance Recording: "Rather Be" - Clean Bandit featuring Jess Glynne

Best Dance/Electronic Album: "Syro" - Aphex Twin

Best Contemporary Instrumental Album: "Bass & Mandolin" - Chris Thile & Edgar Meyer Jr.

Best Rock Performance: "Lazaretto" - Jack White

Best Metal Performance: "The Last in Line" - Tenacious D

Best Rock Song: "Ain't It Fun" - Paramore (Hayley Williams & Taylor York, songwriters)

Best Alternative Music Album: "St. Vincent" - St. Vincent

Best Traditional R&B Performance: "Jesus Children" - Robert Glasper Experiment featuring Lalah Hathaway & Malcolm-Jamal Warner

Best R&B Song: "Drunk in Love" - Beyonce featuring Jay Z (Shawn Carter, Rasool Diaz, Noel Fisher, Jerome Harmon, Beyoncé Knowles, Timothy Mosely, Andre Eric Proctor & Brian Soko, songwriters)

Best Urban Contemporary Album: "Girl" - Pharrell Williams

Best R&B Album: "Love, Marriage & Divorce" - Toni Braxton & Babyface

Best Rap Performance: "I" - Kendrick Lamar

Best Rap/Sung Collaboration: "The Monster" - Eminem featuring Rihanna

Best Rap Song: "I" - Kendrick Lamar (K. Duckworth & C. Smith, songwriters)

Best Rap Album: "The Marshall Mathers LP2" - Eminem

Best Country Solo Performance: "Something in the Water" - Carrie Underwood

Best Country Duo/Group Performance: "Gentle on My Mind" - The Band Perry

Best Country Song: "I'm Not Gonna Miss You" - Glen Campbell (Glen Campbell & Julian Raymond, songwriters)

Best New Age Album: "Winds of Samsara" - Ricky Kej & Wouter Kellerman

Best Improvised Jazz Solo: "Fingerprints" - Chick Corea, soloist

Best Jazz Vocal Album: "Beautiful Life" - Dianne Reeves

Best Jazz Instrumental Album: "Trilogy" - Chick Corea Trio

Best Large Jazz Ensemble Album: "Life in the Bubble" - Gordon Goodwin's Big Phat Band

Best Latin Jazz Album: "The Offense of the Drum" - Arturo O'Farrill & The Afro Latin Jazz Orchestra

Best Gospel Performance/Song: "No Greater Love" - Smokie Norful (Smokie Norful; Aaron W. Lindsey & Smokie Norful, songwriters)

Best Contemporary Christian Music Performance/Song: "Messengers" - Lecrae featuring For King & Country

Best Gospel Album: "Help" - Erica Campbell

Best Contemporary Christian Music Album: "Run Wild. Live Free. Love Strong." - For King & Country

Best Roots Gospel Album: "Shine For All the People" - Mike Farris

Best Latin Pop Album: "Tangos" - Ruben Blades

Best Latin Rock, Urban or Alternative Album: "Multiviral" - Calle 13

Best Regional Mexican Music Album (Including Tejano): "Mano A Mano - Tangos A La Manera De Vicente Fernandez" - Vicente Fernandez

Best Tropical Latin Album: "Mas + Corazon Profundo" - Carlos Vives

Best American Roots Performance: "A Feather's Not a Bird" - Rosanne Cash

Best American Roots Song: "A Feather's Not a Bird" - Rosanne Cash (Rosanne Cash & John Leventhal, songwriters)

Best Americana Album: "The River & The Thread" - Rosanne Cash

Best Bluegrass Album: "The Earls of Leicester" - The Earls of Leicester

Best Blues Album: "Step Back" - Johnny Winter

Best Folk Album: "Remedy" - Old Crow Medicine Show

Best Regional Roots Music Album: "The Legacy" - Jo-El Sonnier

Best Reggae Album: "Fly Rasta" - Ziggy Marley

Best World Music Album: "Eve" - Angelique Kidjo

Best Children's Album: "I Am Malala: How One Girl Stood Up For Education and Changed the World (Malala Yousafzai)" - Neela Vaswani

Best Spoken Word Album (Includes Poetry, Audio Books & Storytelling): "Diary of a Mad Diva" - Joan Rivers

Best Comedy Album: "Mandatory Fun" - "Weird Al" Yankovic
(the one I'm happy for the most. Go Weird Al!!)

Best Musical Theater Album: "Beautiful: The Carole King Musical" - Jessie Mueller, principal soloist; Jason Howland, Steve Sidwell & Billy Jay Stein, producers (Carole King, composer & lyricist) (Original Broadway Cast)

Best Compilation Soundtrack for Visual Media: "Frozen" - Kristen Anderson-Lopez, Robert Lopez, Tom MacDougall & Chris Montan, compilation producers

Best Score Soundtrack for Visual Media: "The Grand Budapest Hotel" - Alexandre Desplat, composer

Best Song Written for Visual Media: "Let It Go" - Idina Menzel (Kristen Anderson-Lopez & Robert Lopez, songwriters)

Best Instrumental Composition: "The Book Thief" - John Williams, composer

Best Arrangement, Instrumental or A Capella: "Daft Punk" - Pentatonix (Ben Bram, Mitch Grassi, Scott Hoying, Avi Kaplan, Kirstin Maldonado & Kevin Olusola, arrangers)

Best Arrangement, Instruments and Vocals: "New York Tendaberry" Billy Childs featuring Renee Fleming & Yo-Yo Ma (Billy Childs, arranger)

Best Recording Package: "Lightning Bolt" - Pearl Jam (Jeff Ament, Don Pendleton, Joe Spix & Jerome Turner, art directors)

Best Boxed or Special Edition Limited Edition Package: "The Rise & Fall of Paramount Records, Volume One (1917-27)" - Various Artists (Susan Archie, Dean Blackwood & Jack White, art directors)

Best Album Notes: "Offering: Live At Temple University" - John Coltrane (Ashley Kahn, album notes writer)

Best Historical Album: "The Garden Spot Programs, 1950" - Hank Williams (Colin Escott & Cheryl Pawelski, compilation producers; Michael Graves, mastering engineer)

Best Engineered Album, Non-Classical: "Morning Phase" - Beck (Tom Elmhirst, David Greenbaum, Florian Lagatta, Cole Marsden Greif-Neill, Robbie Nelson, Darrell Thorp, Cassidy Turbin & Joe Visciano, engineers; Bob Ludwig, mastering engineer)

Producer of the Year, Non-Classical: Max Martin

Best Remixed Recording, Non-Classical: "All Of Me (Tiesto's Birthday Treatment Remix)" - John Legend (Tijs Michiel Verwest, remixer)

Best Surround Sound Album: "Beyonce" - Beyonce (Elliot Scheiner, surround mix engineer; Bob Ludwig, surround mastering engineer; Beyonce Knowles, surround producer)

Best Engineered Album, Classical: "Vaughan Williams: Dona Nobis Pacem; Symphony No. 4; The Lark Ascending" - Robert Spano, Norman Mackenzie, Atlanta Symphony Orchestra & Chorus (Michael Bishop, engineer; Michael Bishop, mastering engineer)

Producer of the Year, Classical: Judith Sherman

Best Orchestral Performance: "Adams, John: City Noir" - St. Louis Symphony (David Robertson, conductor)

Best Opera Recording: "Charpentier: La Descente D'Orphee Aux Enfers" - Boston Early Music Festival Chamber Ensemble; Boston Early Music Festival Vocal Ensemble (Paul O'Dette & Stephen Stubbs, conductors; Aaron Sheehan; Renate Wolter-Seevers, producer)

Best Choral Performance: "The Sacred Spirit of Russia" - Conspirare (Craig Hella Johnson, conductor)

Best Chamber Music/Small Ensemble Performance: "In 27 Pieces - The Hilary Hahn Encores" - Hilary Hahn & Cory Smythe

Best Classical Instrumental Solo: "Play" - Jason Vieaux

Best Classical Solo Vocal Album: "Douce France" - Carl Bagge, Margareta Bengston, Mats Bergström, Per Ekdahl, Bengan Janson, Olle Linder & Antoine Tamestit (Anne Sofie Von Otter; Bengt Forsberg, accompanist)

Best Classical Compendium: "Partch: Plectra & Percussion Dances" - Partch (John Schneider, producer)

Best Contemporary Classical Composition: "Adams, John Luther: Become Ocean" - Ludovic Morlot & Seattle Symphony (John Luther Adams, composer)

Best Music Video: "Happy" - Pharrell Williams (We Are From LA, video director; Kathleen Heffernan, Solal Micenmacher, Jett Steiger, video producers)

Best Music Film: "20 Feet From Stardom" - Darlene Love, Merry Clayton, Lisa Fischer & Judith Hill (Morgan Neville, video director; Gil Friesen & Caitrin Rogers, video producers)

Maroon Mondays Awards Reviews: 57th Grammy Awards--Performances

Hello everyone.
Welcome to my review of the 57th Annual Grammy Awards.
Let's get things straight: it was kinda boring. Many of the performances had everyone confined to standing in front of mic stands or instruments or just stand. And there was less background stuff (lights, pyro, ect.) than before, and usually that hurts my eyes, but this time around it's just so-so. I mean, nothing much excited me. I honestly enjoyed the music, but the extra stuff was just bare. I guess the producers realized music does matter over pizzazz, but the viewers watching really don't. I do, however.

We start off with AC/DC rocking out to their classics "Rock or Bust" and "Highway to Hell". These guys still got it. No matter how old they are.

Host LL Cool J came to the stage performing the chorus of his classic "Going Back to Cali" (which makes no sense as the Grammy have been held in Cali since 2004) and then did something different. Instead of a comedic monologue, he instead mentioned the act performing this year

Ariana Grande performed a new song (which'll definitely be another hit for her) "Just A Little Bit of Your Heart" a love ballad for the age. My God, her voice is so beautiful, just like her and her outfit. It was a small, simple performance, but this was nonetheless perfect. If this is the start of a more mature Ariana, I must ask, what about the start of her career? She's always been mature about her music, lyric-wise and behavior-wise. So she's alright for a long time.

Jessie J and the legendary Sir Tom Jones came together for a duet to celebrate the marriage of . This was another great performance. Both singers hit the mark and beyond, both individually and together.

Miranda Lambert sang "Little Red Wagon", and just proves why she is one of the hottest acts in Country. The song is red-hot, and her vocals were red-hot. But to me, they sound like something a whiny, obnoxious, clingy, 12-year-old with relationship issues would sing.

He's back. After 6 years, Kanye West returns to perform a new song "Only One". His performance is really good and the lyrics are beautiful but, Kanye sounded terrible on that butt-load of Auto-Tune. I mean really terrible. But he was wonderful here.

And straight after that, another return to the stage. This time from the Lady of Sex and More Sex herself (and someone Miley Cyrus referred to as "our bitch"), Madonna. Basically, from watching this, I feel that I'm going to Hell when I die. Seriously, Matadors and bulls mixed with Madonna's usual mix of BDSM and creepiness.
Her vocals were really good, though.

Ed Sheeran has really had a great career these past few years (it's like he doesn't need Grammys) and that really shows in his performance of "Thinking Out Loud" with his special guests John Mayer, ?uestlove of The Roots, Adam Blackstone and Herbie Hancock. This had to be one of my favorite performances the moment his name, Mayer's, ?uest's, Blackstone's and Hancock's names were announced. This wonderful sound of the instruments meshing just made it work. It's a soft, soothing performance I just love.

Straight after, Jeff Lynne and Electric Light Orchestra performed their classic hits "Evil Woman" and while being joined by Sheeran, "Blue Sky". This is just an extension of magic. The band still has it, because it never left. My God, I've been missing a lot in music.

Maroon 5 frontman Adam Levine and fellow The Voice coach Gwen Stefani sing a beautiful rendition of the band's song "My Heart is Open". Both singers' vocals were really good and I kinda enjoyed this one.

Hozier performed his breakthrough "Take Me to Church" with icon Annie Lennox. I had no words; but that they were so damn good. You know it could get better from here. And it did when Ms. Lennox peroformed a classic by Screamin' Jay Hawkins, "I Put A Spell on You" with Hozier on guitar. Dang it, I gotta say this: best performance of the night SO FAR.

Pharrell Williams made us feel good in a different way, performing the hit he'll probably get tired of singing in a few years, "Happy", this time as a partial spoken word with help from well-beloved pianist and iconic score maker Hans Zimmer. All I could notice is the outfit he wore, which was like a bellhop. But boy, was this amazing.

Katy Perry sang "By the Grace of God" (a song that has nothing to do with religion, but about her divorce from Russell Brand) in front of what clearly was a screen behind her. Her vocals were very well, and although the screen was distracting, it really helped make this performance a little better...and almost make me cry. I would've loved the performance even more if the title was different.

Lady Gaga and Tony Bennett just make me happy every time they perform together, this time with "Cheek to Cheek". My Gosh, if their album didn't bring back Classical and Standards back in a great way, I don't know what will.

Usher performed "If It's Magic", one of the immortal classics by an immortal musician, Stevie Wonder. His vocals were amazing, almost as amazing those of Mr. Wonder himself, who would later appear at the end of the performance. The song here almost putting me in a wonderful trance I really wouldn't mind being trapped in. Probably because of the harp player's skills.

Eric Church performed "Give Me Back My Hometown". I'm not into Country that much, so I didn't enjoy it that much. He was good.

Rihanna performed a new song, "FourFiveSeconds" with Kanye West and Paul McCartney. It was fine, but...Kanye sucks at singing, Rihanna was weak, and McCartney was pretty much drowned out by everything else. So yeah, it was crap.

Sam Smith sings "Stay with Me" for the 100th time on TV (this year; just kidding) with his guest Mary J. Blige. It was...fine. No, it's not either singer that's at fault here (as both were so amazing), it's that this song has gotten irritating to me now. I play songs on YT and on my playlists a lot, so I never know when it's enough for me to stop, but when this song comes up, I get less interested to listen, and then I stop altogether. So, yeah, really fine performance here, but this is probably the last time I here "Stay with Me" for a while.

Sia sang her monster hit "Chandelier"
Like Stay with Me, I've also really got annoyed with this song. I've heard this many times since the first time I've heard it, and it's been in my heard ever since. It's an over-glorified drunken party girl song, that's it. It's a really good song, but it's so over the place, that it's beginning to annoy me, maybe more than the latter song. So basically, this performance here is just like her last ones, just a little kid in a wig doing artsy-yet-funny dances all around a dingy room. There isn't much from it for me.
Oh yeah, and Kristen Wiig was in it. I knew from her SNL performance that it would be funny and someone from that show would be in it. Fortunately, I was satisfied on both fronts. You can't tell me it's not supposed to be funny when the woman behind Gilly, Target Lady and the Female A-Hole is a part of it.

Beyonce performed a hymn "Take My Hand Hand, Precious Lord". I felt many a feeling from this one, left me speechless, and almost cried from her vocals. Beyonce just did that, and made one of the best performances of the entire show.
She later led to Common and John Legend performing their song "Glory" from the soundtrack of critically-acclaimed film "Selma". And My God, this was also gave me many feelings and left me speechless. These two performances end the 57th Grammys on a somber not, but they also ended it on a great note, too.

Here are my Top 5 favorite performances:
5-Pharrell-"Happy"
4-Sam Smith with Mary J. Blige-"Stay with Me"
3-Ed Sheeran and Friends-"Thinking Out Loud" and Jeff Lynne's ELO-"Evil Woman" & "Mr. Blue Sky" w/ Ed Sheeran
2-Beyonce-"Take My Hand, Precious Child" & Common and John Legend-"Glory"
1-Hozier-"Take Me to Church" & Annie Lennox-"I Put A Spell on You"

Thank you all for joining me for my review of the 57th Grammy Awards. Have a good one.

Funday Friday: #5--The Best Super Bowl XLIX Ads

Happy Friday, everyone.
Welcome to Funday Friday, and I, Andrew, want to tell you, not every Super Bowl I hated a lot. There were some I totally liked a lot.

So I bring you my picks for the Best Ads from Super Bowl XLIX. In a particular order that is a Top 6. (And I'm not throwing in a best ad in there because a certain celebrity or surprise is in it. There's more to that to make the list)
But first here are some Honorable Mentions.

Always--"Like A Girl"
Sure, you've heard this term used before as an insult, but to these girls, it doesn't mean more then doing certain things the best they can do it.

This is a very inspiring ad, teaching girls to be themselves; it's very good and powerful--although since this is an Always ad, it's also funny to watch this and not think "How do you hit like a girl?", but think "How do you pee like a girl?" or "How do you put on a tampon like a girl?" or "How do you wear a maxi-pad, or PMS or get a period...like a girl?".

Esuruance--"Sorta"

Okay, I'm kidding, it's this one, "Say My Name".

Yes, because Bryan Cranston returns in his role of Walter White. How'd you know?

Nissan--"With Dad"

Even though it's still an ad by a car company, this one really pulled at the heartstrings. A dad working as a race-car driver, but always makes sure his family is first. Even though his son may not believe it. This sure opened up my eyes.

Bud Lite--"Real Life Pac-Man"

I swear if this exists, I'll sell my kidney to play that. I'M NOT KIDDING. Seeing the guy play Pac-Man, it felt like I was there either in the crowd or doing the game. Hell, I'll drink Bud Lite for the rest of my life if this happens.

Coca-Cola--"Make It Happy"

Yeah, sure. Leaving a bottle of Coca-Cola in the world's Internet infrastructure is such a great idea. But yeah, if it can somehow make it a more positive place to live, than...I'm okay with it.
Okay, I'm a sucker for commercials with positive messages, so yeah, it's here. And I love the message.
Screw the fact that buying and/or drinking Coca-Cola can make the world happier, and pouring some into the entire World's Internet server can make it happier. It's all about the positive. Speaking of positive...
Here are the Top 6 Ads!!

6) Loctite Glue--"Positive Feelings"
I don't know which is better: this product or average-looking people with a great sense of humor dancing awkward.

I'm going with average-looking people with a great sense of humor dancing awkward. Not because it's funny, but because it's cool. But I'll admit, it was funny too.

5) Dodge--"Wisdom"
"Don't bitch." Something we all should all live by

Elderly people telling us "youngsters" about how to live a good life...and how to live it to the fullest. I LOVE IT!!

4) NoMore.org--"Official SBA/Help End Domestic Violence"

It was really bold for a company to do an ad for combating domestic violence, but if it was going to air during a major-televised sporting event, I'd say "Well Done", "Great Job" and "You're a Genius". It's a serious ad, but it really did help in stopping such a horrible thing like domestic violence. And the message is wide open, so that people can understand it and not get shocked by it. If only someone else knew this.
I wish there would be more of these ads, as this thing will not go away easy. (Maybe the NBA Finals can help.)

3) Snickers--"Brady Bunch Spoof"

I always lose it when Carol Brady says "Marcia, eat a Snickers". Also, the appearances of Danny Trejo as Marcia and Steve Buscemi as "Jan" made this SBA perfect. In fact, everything was perfect: the stunt doubles used for Carol and Mike Brady, the audio and visual effects for the ad, and the perfect use of green screen placement (especially when Buscemi is running out of the room, it's like he's running out in the actual Brady house hallway.) All-in-all, perfect genius ad.

2) Fiat--"500X/Blue Pill"
A man is planning to get busy with a lady friend, and was about to use the blue pill to get him hard, but after a little misdirection with popping it, and a lot of bouncing...well, you saw it, just check it out.

This was a surprisingly genius (and surprisingly hilarious) ad. A blue pill making a small car bigger. And you would think the projectile falling around would be filler here, but I think it helped out a lot here. You think it would land in someone's cup or in their mouth, but no, it ended up in someone's car. My god, this ad.

1) Budweiser -- "Puppy Love 2: Lost Dog"
Come on, we all knew this is happening.

Even if Budweiser continues this storyline until it gets annoying, I'll still love it.
Everything here is beautiful. The acting chemistry and bond between the Clydesdale and Puppy (I honestly never thought there was any in two animals, let alone different ones) was truly and strongly effervescent. It still shows the two Buds are still great friends and love hanging out together; no matter where one goes, the other will follow. The part near the end when the Puppy runs back home, but is cornered by wolves really scared me. But his friends in the other Clydesdales (or the Clydes Crew, in my words) has his back. It's a wonderful sight. And the two pals are together again.

This was emotional, powerful and awesome. The people at the Budweiser ad department knew what they were doing, continually making this ad franchise with the Clydesdales a winning tradition with the Super Bowl and its viewers. It's brilliant, and it will tickle you in the feels.
I LOVE THIS AD SO MUCH and it's my favorite of them all.
And it's my pick for the Best Ad of Super Bowl XLIX

And there they are--my picks for the best Ads from Super Bowl XLIX. What are your favorite ads, let me know in the comments section. I'd love to see your faves.
Thanks for joining me for another Funday Friday. Have a good weekend.

The Worst Super Bowl XLIX Ads

Aahh, the Super Bowl, the biggest game, not only in football, but also of sports. Everyone tunes in every year to see the best teams in the league face off in an epic match to win a trophy and some rings.
But to some, the best part of the Bowl are the commercials; The small parts in the breaks between the quarters in which companies (food, automobile, mobile, insurance, ect.) shell out a lot of money to make funny ads to give people interest in their products. The more expensive, the more grand. But in this case, the grandiose and humor won't excuse how bad they are.
I present to you my choices for the Worst Ads of Super Bowl XLIX.

But first, here are a few Honorable Mentions:
McDonald's--"Pay with Lovin""
The reason it's here is because of the implications and well-aware implications that came from the ad. You see, for this month only, the company is letting employees randomly choose customers for something special: instead of paying for their order, they are chosen to pay by doing a task that includes love:

But many people took this another way. Instead of love and hugs, they put out sex and heart failure.

#McDonalds: "Let's just forget that our food kills people" ... Free heart attacks for select folks. Yay! #SuperBowl @mcdonalds
— Real Housewives (@Real_Housewives) February 2, 2015

I've tried paying with lovin' at #McDonalds before. Cashier hated it and I was arrested promptly. Best to pay with money. #SuperBowl
— Beau Miller (@beauamiller) February 2, 2015

Trivia fact! If you really love your family, you don't let them eat at #McDonalds #SuperBowl #SuperBowlXLIX
— TrivWorks (@TrivWorks) February 2, 2015

Love the #McDonalds commercial. "You're total is clogged arteries" #Superbowl
— NoelDickover (@NoelDickover) February 2, 2015

A lot of the #McDonalds menu is barely worth the $1. If I have to dance for the food - forget about it. #SuperBowl
— Brian Stewart (@BrianStewartOH) February 2, 2015

"Would you like to Pay with Lovin'?"-employee "That depends. With or without a condom?" -stupid person #McDonalds #SuperBowl
— Andrew Pollard (@APollard36) February 2, 2015

What if his mom is dead? #McDonalds #SuperBowl
— Ashley Ciandella (@AshleyCiandella) February 2, 2015

#McDonalds Worker: "Call your Mom, tell her you love her." Customer: "She's dead..." McDonalds Worker: "Oh. That'll be 6.57$" #SuperBowl
— Clint Tomerlin (@ClintTomerlin) February 2, 2015

Yeah, if this campaign ever works out McDonald's, be gratful all that money you generated will overcome the mock ads your rivals will produce.

Squarespace--"Om/Creeping--Dreaming with Jeff"
Normally women dreaming of Jeff Bridges in their bedrooms is a perfect lullaby. But Jeff Bridges in your bedroom singing a monotone lullaby in real life is weird. And a website that does this from your computer (which is real mind you, not something you can make using the Squarespace software) is straight up creepy.

Jeep--"Beautiful Lands"
This would seem like a beautiful commercial showing off how awesome and proud Earth is, until you notice it's one for a car company.

It's like it's saying "If you want to travel this beautiful, proud, spacious and amazing world, get a Jeep." Yeah, sums it up quite nicely. Also, how the hell can you travel to other countries when this can barely travel from state to state?

Mophie--"All-Powerless"

Yeah, this is stupid. I mean--how can you watch TV when the world is ending?? Dumb priest.

And now let's get to my picks of the SBAs I just hated. Not because they're terrible as a whole, but because there's a certain element that makes them terrible in my eyes.
5) Carl's Jr.--"Au Naturel"
Now, I've said I'm a dog before on this site, but if this ad is of any indication, I am not that kind of dog.

You know Carl's Jr. is know for its hot and sexy ads, and I'll give them some credit for being bold to sell its products, but since the concept has been used over and over for profit to diminishing returns (and because this area are no locations in Philly [the closest from here is near Toronto, Ontario, Canada]), it just ends up lazy. It's like they're saying "I think we're out of ideas, so let's make an ad about a model walking naked! Sort of.". And yeah, this is what we have.
And it shows men are still horny pricks.

4) TurboTax--"(NOT)Boston Tea Party/Alright Then"
I don't know what to say about this: It's a reenactment of the Boston Tea Party...and then it's...What is this?

It's not "not funny" because it's offensive, it's "not funny" because there's nothing to laugh at. The tone just doesn't feel right. All we see is people stopping one of the most infamous moments in history all because of a simple thing, say "Alright then", and move on with their lives. I just don't find it that funny.

3) Doritos--"When Pigs Fly"
You know how this goes: Kid sees Doritos. Jerkass adult male eats some. Kid hatches scheme. Adult is gullible enough to believe it. Kid gets Doritos. The whole damn concept is used over and over for its SBAs (Super Bowl Ads).
But it's on the list for the same old concept being used to death by the company to diminishing returns. Hell, their last commercial was my pick for the best SBA because it was funny and creative. Now it's like they're barely trying anymore.

Also, didn't he get the bag yesterday; wouldn't make sense to save the bag to the next day. And it's not a bad thing to give the boy a couple chips; he'll leave you alone straight after. Also, kid, can't you buy your own bag?? It's a waste of time to build a dirigible that could've potentially killed a pig to prove how much you desperately want a bag of unhealthy, pasteurized chips you could've easily bought at the convenience store.
Oh yeah, and another thing, it's stupid.

2) T-Mobile--"More Kim"
T-Mobile, this is the reason I'm almost dropping you. It's good that Kim is aware of how narcissistic she is to make a joke, but who cares?

Go away Kim Kardashian. Just...go. #SuperBowl
— Andrew Pollard (@APollard36) February 2, 2015

1) Nationwide--"Boy Can't Grow/Make Safe Happen"
You already KNOW why it's #1.

Thanks @Nationwide for unintentionally scaring the shit out of us; we really needed that during a big televised game. #SuperBowl
— Andrew Pollard (@APollard36) February 2, 2015

This one...just...scarred everyone. Hard.

I mean, what a twist. It wasn't that sweet at all, but to see it happen at the end? *shiver* I would've appreciated it more if the revelation happened at the beginning. This would lead to a few memes throughout the night, all of them funny

and tweets too.

All across America tonight "Mommy, Daddy am i going to die?" Way to go #Nationwide
— Masked Scheduler (@maskedscheduler) February 2, 2015

The Seahawks haven't completed a pass but on the plus side I haven't killed any of my kids. #Nationwide
— Ken Jennings (@KenJennings) February 2, 2015

Hi, I'm Rob Lowe and I have Direct TV. Hi, I'm Bathtub Drowning, Detergent Eating, Television Crushed Rob Lowe and I have #Nationwide.
— Crutnacker (@Crutnacker) February 2, 2015

#Nationwide ad so successful, Flo the Progressive Lady will now do a bunch of commercials with Jane Mansfield's severed head.
— Frank Conniff (@FrankConniff) February 2, 2015

So wait...@mindykaling is invisible because she died? #Nationwide
— Tony Goldmark (@tonygoldmark) February 2, 2015

So yeah, while commercials were good to me, the companies won't care; they'll just rake in the money they're getting from it and they do this again next Super Bowl. And I'll have another bunch of ads to despise.

Saturday Night Live 40 Review: JK Simmons & D'Angelo

Welcome to another SNL40 Review, hosted this time by highly-acclaimed and awarded actor JK Simmons. Seriously, he came in just after winning a Golden Globe and SAG Award for his role in "Whiplash", a film I've actually never heard of until awards season came in. The closest thing I've known him from is the voice of this guy.

Oh well, let's get into it.

The Cold Open takes place from KING-TV 5 in Seattle, as Seahawks quarterback richard Sherman (Pharaoh) and special guest and good friend…running back Marshawn Lynch (Kenan) host Super Bowl Shut-Down.

Some great parts include:
Sherman brutally shut down New York City idiot--I mean mayor Bill De Blasio for that “blizzard”, Marshawn Lynch refusing to talk at all, and how the white guy at the end (TKill aka Usual Guy #2) tries to act urban, but fails.
All I will say is that was kinda funny, and a pretty good start to a pretty good episode.

After the usual (speaking of which, dammit, Darrell Hammond really opened up and shined this time; he said everyone’s names with pomp, circumstance, moxie, spunk and power, and I just love that), JK (best known from the Sam Raimi Spider-Man films, The Legend of Korra, the Farmers Insurance ads and Growing Up Fisher, a show on NBC that got cancelled [screw them for that]) is on stage for for his monologue, which is pretty much a mock of his movie "Whiplash", in which he plays a character that snaps at people into playing the drums correctly. (I didn't see the film so bear with me for that)
During the week of prep, he gets close with KyMoo & Lil Aidy, and they begin making a song based on the stupid blizzard that never happened. JK then becomes a diva when Kyle does the wrong pitch.

He also does this Pete Dave and LesJones before also scaring Aidy off as well.
His tirades were really funny and his well-known technique of screaming made it priceless. And even though I've seen him play them before, Fred Armisen playing drums is magnificent.

In this Pre-Tape tied to the big game, a group of football fans (some of the male members & JKS) are ready for snacks and one of the guys’ wife (Nessa B) comes in with a fix’in: Totino’s Pizza Rolls. And when the food is given, she retreats to the kitchen...with nothing else to do...barely to return again.

Another genius pre-tape here, mocking commercials where women give the snacks to the men...and then go away. And they're treated like servants and the men their masters. Nessa B did amazing as the wife, who sounds gleefully clueless and unaware (or somewhat aware) of how her husband is terribly treating her in front of his friends, just like every other woman in those commercials. Painful, yet hilarious.

The Sketch After mocks all the major televised beauty pageants (including Miss America, Miss Universe and Miss World) with a pageant dedicated to finding the most disgusting, rancid, unacceptable excuses of human beings, and showing them off to you for your viewing enjoyment (and laughing and pointing).

The sad thing is that these women seem to be aware of the fact that they are skanky, rancid, horrible excuses of human females.
Another sad thing is that I hoped Leslie and Sasheer would be in the sketch, but then I thought it would’ve been too funny, really expected...and racist. Some people believe that Black women being portrayed as skanks on TV would be seen as racist, some said by African Americans themselves. Blacks, don’t defend your own when you know some of your own is just like then, only worse. Here's an example:

Anyway, this was very funny and, while not imaginative, it’s just a great mocking of pageants. I wish there was another sketch making fun of the sexist nature and bubble-brained contestants of pageants, just because.

Reese De’What returns, and like his last appearance, it was just as funny. This time, as host of “Cinema Classics”, he brings us a just-released alternate version of the ending of “Casablanca”.

I thought the gag with Kate Mc as Ilsa saying “No” in a whiny, thick accent was funny at first, until I kept hearing the audience laughing at it as if it was the best thing of the night, which made it get old really quickly. Needless to say, that was a really good skit. Kate was awesome as Ilsa and JK did a great job as Rick. So yeah, one of the best of the night.

After it, a pre-tape lampooning the recent blizzard storm that never was.
Teachers are celebrating when students are staying home with the handful of snow as excuse.

It was a “meh” kind. There were a few here or there, but the jokes weren’t funny enough to sustain the whole thing. Fortunately, things picked up when JK came in as the school’s principal.

“Pushie: the Big Annoying Pain with Feelings”
A man is typing a birthday card to a friend, but is stopped by Pushie (Moyni), an annoying computer animation designed to help PC users with a problem on Microsoft products.

This one was hilarious, spoofing the paper clip of the same sort that also annoyed millions with its presence.
The bouncy, happy disposition Bobby displayed was surprisingly refreshing, despite what he was meant to play. And when he was almost offed--literally, he displayed some good enough dramatic acting to make me feel sorry for him, and it was good.
The “Murder Pushie” part was dark, and did make me feel sad for a little bit (thanks to Bobby doing a great job being a sad Pushie), but also funny. And I admit, even though I thought it would happen and would’ve laughed had he actually go through with it, I was happy when the guy did not murder Pushie; he was kinda cool.

This next pre-tape is genius. Taking whitewashing in movies to a ridiculous new level, with "The Jay-Z Story". Trust me when I say...this is fucking hilarious.

Writer Mike O'Brien escaped the writers hole once again to star as Hova, with Jason Sudeikis as Kanye West and JK as Nas. This one is impossibly hilarious, with the genius element being that the white actors don't even try to be Black guys.
I loved the idea of O"Brien and his short film sketches this season. I'm still creeped out by "Grow-A-Guy", but this concept just might work wonders along with the rest of the great pre-tape boom of this season. I'd love to see another of these before the season ends, so please, Lorne and the producers, give Mike another one of these soon.

In the Five-to-One sketch, it’s Career Day and a dad (JKS) comes to his son Jake (Pete Dave)’s class talk about his career...which is a food fetish performer.

The only thing I can remember fondly about it is “American Boy who Eats in The Manner of a Pig”, and that may not be a good thing. The only laugh I gave was that little “Uh-Huh” from Jake. It was really creepy for the class, teachers and the two adults to find something comforting about this guy’s career and praise it like something deserving of an Academy Award. I found something deserving of a puke bucket.
I understamd where SNL is going with an odd concept for a sketch, but to make it work, it needs to have a certain element of humor to go along with it. This sketch does not have that element. I felt just as disgusted and embarrassed as Jake with this skit. Disgusted for obvious reasons, and disgusted for watching this more than once for this review. But to be honest, if I would do this job to get paid $45K, I'd do it. Screw my dignity...as long as it not in front of a televised audience.


This week's musical has been in music for 20+ years now, and have become a huge part of the Neo-Soul genre along with Maxwell, Lauryn Hill and Erykah Badu. But he has only two albums made, before his pesonal life spiraled out of control. Fortunately, he's done great, and has gone back into music in a big way. And has released a critally-acclaimed third album with some really wonderful music we've heard tonight.
He's D'Angelo
First up, “Really Love”.

I’ll say this about the performance and song: I can’t explain it how I feel about it. The beat is perfect, perfect for a slow dance or a nice jam at a party or at home.
The performance by his band, Black Messiah, was so damn great; the string performers did amazing, the guitar man was awesome and the drum work was perfectly smooth. And D’angelo’s vocals (along with those of the backup singer woman’s) bring it all together. And the backup singer woman at the beginning speaking low-volume Spanish? Made me hot under the collar.

And finally, The Charade.

This performance garnered a lot of interest from everyone because the stage. The members of The Vanguard wore black shirts with white-colored phrases on them that say either “Black Lives Matter” or “I Can’t Breathe”, which are based on the incidents surrounding the deaths of Michael Brown and Eric Garner and there is a tape outline on the stage floor. This was a bold statement from the guy and his band and had us talking for the good. Oh, and the song rocked! Big time. The guitar work was awesome, the vocals were great and the message was powerful and clear.
D’Angelo’s back, he’s still got it, and he let it all on stage.

Time For an Update:
Part 1:

Part 2:

All I can say is, Jost has no reason to go to quinceneras, and should never go. I guess there’s more to that dull personality than he wants to let on?
Also, I felt a nice edge to Che during his riff on Black History Month Post Office stamps; felt like something he’d work on at The Daily Show. Really good (maybe because of the mention of the Maury Show, which suckered me in, but whatever).

Two recurring Update characters appeared again this week.
First up, One-Dimensional Female Character (played by CecStrong), who discussed her thoughts on this years’ Super Bowl. She had some good laughs, but her time here was a bit weaker than last time, which was impossible, but I thought ODFC wasn’t a very strong character (pun intended) for Strong.

Jebediah Atkinson is back! One of my favorite Update characters returned for what made him so popular: his bitingly hilarious critiques of everything TV, music and film. All while being a man from the 1800s who somehow lived long enough on hate to reach this millenium.
His opinions on the Grammy Awards nominees were painfully hysterical and deliciously heartbreaking. I’ve never enjoyed a character who can dish out brutal honestly for laughs like him.
And, Really, Audience? You know who Jebediah is, and you know what his jokes are about. So don’t so sensitive about his jokes when they are tame compared to even the least crude TV shows.

Favorite Sketches:
-Pushie
-Cinema Classics

Best Pre-Tapes:
The Jay-Z Story
Totino's Ad

Worst Sketches:
-Career Day
-Miss Trash

I loved JK’s performance as a straight man of a sort in the sketches, yet says some very absurd things while being serious. He has that energy from his other famous roles and puts them into these roles in the sketches. Most of them were good with the only truly terrible ones being Miss Trash and Career Day.
Once again Kate McKinnon shined this week, mostly from her role as Ilsa in the "Cinema Classics" skit. Seriously saying "No!" in that way and her clear aware tone was hilarious. Kate has that talent to shine above everyone else and become one of the most popular cast members of this era.
Also doing the most laughs is Bobby Moynihan, thanks to being Pushie. I know I've said a lot about him this season so far for being on overused cast member, but this time he's appeared relatively smaller this time, with the most prominence being a couple lines in a few sketches, and of course as Pushie, but it's as Pushie that made me fond of him this time. I actually enjoyed his presence and I also used that role as an metaphor meaning that I wish he'd get lesser screentime, but then he played Pushie, and I wanted him more. Thanks a lot, Moyni! You got me to want more from you down the road! I hope you're happy! Thanks.

So folks, SNL will be in a small hiatus during February. Why? Because it's got a big day ahead of it.

It's 40th Anniversary Special is coming up on the 15th! Past SNL cast members return to the studio that made them household names and famous comedic actors to reminesce on the sketches they love and moments that everyone will love to hear about. I can't wait to watch and you have to too.
See you later for another SNL40 Review.

Funday Friday: #4--Oddest Roll Call Ever

Ladies and gentlemen, the Super Bowl is only 2 days away, so to help us gear up for the biggest game of the year in style (and laughs), Keegan Michael Key and Jordan Peele of Comedy Central's Key & Peele give us a gut-buster.

This clip is the third installment of the hugely popular "East/West Bowl" segment, in which football players are saying their names in a roll call, with the following names getting increasingly ridiculous and impossible to pronounce. It's an absolutely genius take on football players (professional, college, high school, ect.) with oddly unique names and it's extremely hilarious.
Take a look, and look out for some familiar faces.


And, just in case, to continue the great laughs from this perfect segment, here are the other editions, too.
East/West College Bowl 1:


East/West College Bowl 2:


East/West College Bowl Rap:


These guys are geniuses and their show is a perfect riot. Comedy Central needs to keep this as long as possible (and by that, I mean 5-6 seasons and let it end on their terms.)

GoDaddy Pulls "Controversial" SB Ad After Animal Rights Groups Bitched About It

Heidi-ho, everyone.
Remember that ad from Budweiser at last years' Super Bowl, with the puppy and horse being best of friends, that made you cry tears of joy, and you hated to admit that? Well, here it is.

The reason I'm showing this, is because GoDaddy.com, the leader of making websites for Mom & Pop stores, and known for its super-steamy ads like this:

So this year, they took it a different direction. Instead of hot women doing sleazy-ass things for horny, parched men to jerk off to on the internet after the game, the ad features a dog on a trunk falling off (thanks to a speed-bump) and looks for the way home...only to get sold by a website.
This is the next big Super Bowl ad to not air on TV.

Sadly, some pussy animal rights groups started yammering on about...something that made the ad unappealing to animal lovers, so a petition on Change.org was made, and over -- signatures were signed, enough to force GoDaddy to remove the ad from the list of planned ads to air during Super Bowl XLIX. And, it's been all over the TV news shows.

I can't understand why anyone would find something wrong with this ad! I mean,
I honestly don't a thing wrong with commercial. I honestly don't. The closest thing in my mind is when the puppy got knocked out of the van and when it got "sold". Yes, those parts are shocking, and I understand the people who do hate those parts, but after the international incidents with "The Interview" and Charlie Hebdo, honestly nothing will shock me anymore for a laugh. Really, nothing.

"Ghostbusters" Reboot Cast Revealed--I APPROVE!!

Hey everyone.
It's the news that everyone has been talking about--well, the news that the magazine and newsmagazine show websites has been talking about for the past few days.
If you haven't heard, Ghostbusters, one of the biggest, best and most original comedy films of all time is getting rebooted...and with a female cast.

Well, yesterday, the cast has been revealed. And for those of you who are (still) fans of Saturday Night Live, like I am, you guys will love this:
former cast member Kristen Wiig, current cast members Kate McKinnon and Leslie Jones, and two-time host Melissa McCarthy will be the actors suiting up and saving New York this time for the reboot. I think this is a perfect cast.

But I hope this perfect cast will not use characteristics I usually think of from them:
Kristen is known for portraying annoyingly dorky and self-centered characters and Melissa playing rude, crass, creepy, annoying and highly foolish characters in her recent movies. Also, on SNL, Jones is known for being a loud, sassy, scary, sex-addled woman and McKinnon is known for creepy, goofy and sometimes off putting characters in sketches. But to many people, they find them funny or even hilarious. I only find Wiig funny most of the time, McCarthy some of the time, and Kate and Leslie all the time.

I hope these characteristics will be toned down for this film; Ghostbusters is beloved for many reasons--one of them being characters that are being funny (really funny AND smartly funny) without resorting to annoying sexual or toilet humor crap for several cheap laughs. But I think these ladies can pull it off well with some sharp writing and great production. And I've seen some of Paul Feig's work; this guy is talented and

I wish the cast and crew the best of luck with the film and belive this will be a big hit at the box office. I mean it has to be, it's Ghostbusters!
Well, of course, it still won't compare to the original film, but still.

POST #230: EDREWtorial: ColouredGate--Benedict Cumberbatch Refers to Black Actors as Colored in Interview

Evening, all.
Benedict Cumberbatch is in some hot water with the African American community.
Cumberbatch, the star of "The Imitation Game" and Sherlock, appeared on Tavis Smiley's PBS talk show last week to discuss the recent announcements of the Academy Awards nominations, which no actors or directors of color have been nominated for any of the major awards. Speaking on the topic, he mentions a certain word that has been seen as degradation to the African American race: colored.

Here's an except of the interview with Cumberbatch mentioning the word:

“I think as far as colored actors go it gets really different in the U.K., and a lot of my friends have had more opportunities here [in the U.S.] than in the U.K. and that’s something that needs to change. Something’s gone wrong, we’re not representative enough in our culture of different races and that really does need to step up a pace. I don’t want to get into any debates about that, but it’s clear when you see certain migratory patterns that there are more opportunities here than in the U.K.”

And here's a clip of excerpt:


I know that I wasn't born or raised during the previous generation to endure such a horrible experience as being separated from whites, getting severely punished for the simplest offense or called a "nigger" for no good reason, but even I think that it was a bad idea for Cumberbatch to say the term "colored" in reference to today's African American actors. And he should know better; he's a very classy, controlled, sophisticated man. So he should know that it's wrong to use that term.
Maybe because he is from the UK, and has been a bit secluded from the teachings of the Jim Crow era and the Civil Rights Movement in the US; I'm not sure, that's the closest thing I have to a good explanation in his defense. I do understand why he said it though, and he made a damn good point using it, but still, there are more better terms to use, like "people of color", "African American", "Black" and "minority". I'm not angry at him

I will cut him some slack though. He did make a good point about actors of color getting more opportunities in film in the United States than in the United Kingdom. Even though I haven't seen many films made from UK film studios, I have seen their posters, and many of them don't show black British actors on them; just white Britsh actors. Granted because most of the time, they're making films take place at the time period of Downton Abbey, but even in modern-day drama and even comedy films, there's rarely a black Brit to be seen and to be found on the posters.
And this extends to television too, where it's also hard to find British actors of color on the small screen. Granted, again, some of the more popular shows take place in the time period of Downton Abbey (like Call The Midwife, Mr. Selfridge and... Downton Abbey) Fortunately it's more easier to find them playing characters there than on the small screen.
So he makes a damn good point against his own homeland on people of color getting opportunities across the pond than in their home country; hell, they'd get a better opportunity competing on The Voice UK, Big Brother UK, and even Dragon's Den.

Anyway, after some backlash from the African American community, Cumberbatch apologized in this statement to People magazine:
“I feel the complete fool I am and while I am sorry to have offended people and to learn from my mistakes in such a public manner, please be assured I have. I apologize again to anyone I offended for this thoughtless use of inappropriate language about an issue which affects friends of mine and which I care about deeply.”

On the other hand, while I do agree the term "colored" is a term that shouldn't be used anyone in this day in age, I think that it's a better term to hear than "nigger" and "nigga".
Hear me out: I've made it known that I have hated the term "nigga" all my life, but I have gotten used to it lately. But many Blacks have been using the term casually for many decades to refer to their close friends or "homies" (remember, this term is a slight spin of the term "nigger", which was the ultimate degrading term to African Americans for cenuries). But when the term "colored" comes up, everyone's up in arms; understandably because a white person said it. But I don't feel that offended if that term was used by anyone, other than "nigga" or even "nigger", again, understandably because a white person said it. But in my lifetime, I'd be disgusted in anyone of any race said the term to me directly or indirectly. Because "nigger" has been used far more longer in history than "colored", and to me, being called "colored" is a step above being called "nigger" in my eyes (even if that term is also degrading), admittedly a little below "nigga", because at the end of the day, "nigga" is still a term used in a good way.

I just hope that this is the last time we hear of the term "colored" in this country for a long time, outside of biographical films about Martin Luther King, Malcolm X, Muhammad Ali and others.

Saturday Night Live 40 Review: Blake Shelton & Blake Shelton

Hey everyone.
You know, SNL has had its interesting choice of hosts these past few seasons. There are two scenarios to this:
1) Lorne and the producers will find hosts in actors/personalities that star in shows that air on the network to fill up the quota (It's happened before with Parks and Recreation star Chris Pratt hosting the premiere; other examples include Brian Williams, Adam Levine ),
2) or people who are popular former cast members from seasons past (which include [from the past few seasons alone] Tina Fey, Amy Poehler, Jimmy Fallon, Kristen Wiig and Andy Samberg).

Which brings me to Blake Shelton. This artist is pretty much a country music superstar (and since I've never listened to any of his songs outside of Boys 'Round Here" [which he performed later on], that's all I know). He's also popular from his role as judge/coach on The Voice, the oh-so mega-popular reality-competition series that also airs on NBC. Which explains a few things:
The Voice and SNL bot airing on the same network
Lorne seemingly not being desperate to find anyone to host to fill up quota, and this not being his doing
They actually think there can be more humor from his witty banter and “rivalry” with Adam Levine
So let’s get’r done!

The Cold Open takes us Inside the NFL, where host Greg Gumbel (Kenan) takes us into the recent scandal from the NFL (the second one since last week) involving the New England Patriots using deflated footballs to help them score games. Beck Benn appears as Bill Belichick, TKill (aka Usual Guy #2) plays the franchise’s quarterback Tom Brady (who’s pretty much an airheaded pretty boy who’s talented at throwing a ball on decorated grass), Moyni (Usual Guy #2) portrays Assistant Equipment Co-Manager Dougie Spoons (really, writers?!), the real brains (if any) of the scandal (especially at the end of the skit),
and Kate Mc, KyMoo, Pharaoh and SaZam plays reporters asking the idiots piecing questions.

I just love it when writers make a CO that isn’t political and base it from a recent scandal. But here it’s just mixed. All of the things Belichick and Brady said were really good and funny,
but some of the things Spoons says were just fucking stupid. I mean, right out of the gate, he said “You guys wanna touch my balls or somethin’?!”. Even MADtv wouldn’t write something so corny like this shit.
(Also, take a look near the end of the skit, where the old black reporter next to Kate Mc sorta...misses his mark.)
Overall it was a really good CO. However...

The Monologue is just jokes about Blake's hick upbringings (he says he’s a “Fish Out of Water coming to New York City” [because he and the writers may have forgotten of his appearance on The Tonight Show two days ago, which is 2 FLOORS DOWN in 30 Rock...and every time he’s performed a concert and made a TV appearance there] and the only comedy show he watched was Hee Haw) mixed with the usual mediocre SNL humor, featuring Pete Dave, LesJones, Pharaoh, the Usual 2 Girls and the Usual 2 White Guys (dressed like they’re not out of place in a sketch on Hee Haw) being taught about “country humor”. And by that, I mean sex with skanks, first-grade level idiots, wives who can’t cook worth a divorce and incest.

Now, I’ve never watched Hee Haw before, but I can tell from watching this, that the writers never did either. The jokes were terrible and predicable. Also, the “Deliverance” reference seemed strange at first, until the third joke from Moyni. I guess it is possible for someone to find humor in “Gonna make you squeal like a piggy”. It was pretty funny, though, and the music playing was catchy.

Farm Hunk
And of course, the hick-ness spread into the sketches with The Sketch After being a clear spoof on The Bachelor. Replace the typical white dude with a typical white dude with a thick Southern accent and a twang (which in this case, is Blake).

The ladies (all the female members) are basically hot, snotty, airheaded women from Hollywood who do porn. That’s funny.
The hilarious part about it is the genius twist on the usual trope of booting off the women of color first, and sticking with the air-headed, yet hot white women pretty much picked from the same state who'll tear each other apart (physically, emotionally, and mentally) for the one guy’s affection, and move to his horrible Iowa hometown, not realizing that they'll all be kicked off the show sometime or another. Also, I like Blake's charm, and his mocking the Southern Hick stereotype. Leslie Jones made the sketch.

Ladies and gentlemen, Family Feud Celebrity Edition is BACK!!
And this time it's the coaches...of...The Voice (Well, it was expected but at least it was funny) vs. some judges...of...American Idol.

Everyone did great with their impressions.
TKill as Adam Levine (definitely)
Pharaoh as Pharrell Williams (absolutely)
CecStrong as Christina Aguilera
Kate Mc as Keith Urban
SaZam as Nicki Minaj
Back Benn as Harry Connick Jr., and
KyMoo as Steven Tyler
And Kenan was great as always as Steve Harvey. His jokes in Harvey’s mannerisms always works for me. Although, I still hate when jokes are made about celebrities saying things that make people remember who they are for a pop. That feels tacked on and annoys me.

Parole Board
In the following sketch (which is really dark), a man in prison (in what seems like the 1940s; I’m surprised he wasn’t arrested for walking down the street) is pleading for parole, but the board (Usual Guy #1, CecStrong aka Usual Girl #1 and Shelton) is not easily impressed with his plea. Because he's a cannibal.

In the end, it was boring yet was funny. Even though he made it work, Kenan’s voice was irritating, and made me think that a relative of Sump’n Claus was in the slammer for eating people. I assume even he would give him sump’n after that.

Topeka Today: My Darlin’ Joan
On a local talk show in Kansas, a 97-year-old songwriter (Usual #2) talks with the hosts (Usual #1 and SaZam) about some songs about his wife of seventy years (Kate Mc; who I might as well call on of the Usuals too), who died some time ago. With a singer (Shelton) to bring the songs to life on-air, he wrote his pain and heartbreak was written into music. And it starts off sweet...then it gets ugly.

This sketch felt a little predictable, I could almost tell the rest of the show from then on just from that. Still, it was funny, with the "Humidifier from Hell" part being hilarious.
I also have a few problems about the couple’s old photos looking like something from a green screen, especially when the show has a photographer doing the ultra-amazing bumpers (which look legit-ly retro), but I won’t get into that.

Magician

The Five-to-One (which in this case, started 10 minutes before 1 on the dot) was also predictable. In it, a magician (Usual Guy #2) is doing a show. A guy (Blake) believes this is fake, So he tries to prove it, while the magician proves him wrong and does his tricks. This definitely the worst sketch of the night, bar none.

During the final break, the SNL Band performed a bit for the audience and viewers before cutting to more commercials. To be honest, I enjoyed that more than some of the sketches.


One of my better favorites is the spoof on hard life, pain, heartbreak and crazy people in country music with "Wishin Boot". Kate Mc, Aidy, and Shelton did great here, with the lyrics tackling many stereotypes in Country music (some that don't make sense) and ending up hilarious.

While he was good as host, Blake was better as musical guest. And boy was he great. Since I don’t listen to his music a lot, I just watched them and heard the music for the first time at face value. They were really good.
So here, I'll just make short mentions about his two performances:
"Neon Lights” is about

and "Boys ‘Round Here" is basically everything hicks do--drink, shoot, ogle women and get truck stuck (along with a terribly dated reference to that old dance craze of "The Dougie" that'll make Cali Swag District laugh at him):


Time For an Update:
Part 1:

Part 2:

This week's report from Jost & Che was a little...disjointed. Some jokes were misses, Jost was slow as ever, Che flubbed a line for the first time in a while, and dragged a bit. Fortunately, it was mercifully short like last week. And again, they've gotten better.

Riblet is something else. He's Che's old pal from high school, and was waiting a little less patiently to do his thang. And when he did his thang, it made me notice; my God, Bobby Moynihan could be really good at doing Update. I'm sure everyone enjoyed that like I did, because Moyni handled those two roles very well: being a wack-ass wannabe ghetto homie and a fake news anchor joking on the latest news in a straight-yet-goofy manner. (Che later tried again to get a cheap pop from the Audience by mentioning a guest but forgotten that Riblet's not Prince.)

Resident Young Person Pete Dave returned for another chat about what the young'ns do around town. This time gay porn. It was just like "Would You Go Down on a Guy" all over again.

The final guest, Nicole, teaches us about how to control our personal finances and assets. And she's Michael's ex-girlfriend. So of course she gives him hell. This was the weakest bit of the night, but had to be in comparison with Riblet and Davidson. SaZam did a great job though.

So Apparently, Che has been screwed over more in the 13 minutes he's had to sit in the desk this week than the 90 minutes we've had watching the show (and the two days more I've had from writing this review.) He lost his job, his ex to his so-called best friend and his co-anchor to the pack of laughing hyenas.

Man, Che can't catch one this week. That's a damn shame. #SNL

— Andrew Pollard (@APollard36) January 25, 2015

Poor buddy. Seriously, Riblet or Bobby Moynihan would be a great change of pace at the desk.

How Was The CO?
DeflateGate CO
The Kick is Good. (Heh, football reference)

Top Three Best Sketches:
Farm Hunk
FF Celebrity 2
Parole Board

honorable mention--
Wishing Boot
Topeka Today: My Darlin’ Joan

Worst Sketches:
Magician

Okay, I may be wrong here. Episode 4 with Chris Rock isn't the worst episode...This one with Blake Shelton is. Say what to want about the former; at least it had some really interesting humor and had everyone talking. And the writers had flexed their muscle that time. This, however, was weak. And super dull. The jokes were fine, but they were clearly there to suit Blake's country roots and music, and it showed. I know the show can have a bad episode every now and then, but judging the comments from a lot of people that pretty much scream "I miss the First Five Seasons even though I can clearly but it on DVD!!" or "I miss the Phil Hartman/Jon Lovitz/Jan Hooks/Dennis Miller era, even it's never coming back!", it seems they see every one after them as the bad episode. Blake did a great job as host; he showed off a lot of charm, which I really like and did his best to continue the sketches, even though they were mediocre.
Also, no one really impressed me more this week than Kenan & TKill. Kenan shined as Greg Gumbel and the cannibal inmate in "Parole Board", while Taran was great as Tom Brady and Adam Levine. These impressions have led them to the top of the best cast members of this week. Good job to them!

Next week (or later this week, since these are released on Mondays now), that guy from, among others, the Spider-Man films, The Closer, The Legend of Korra and Whiplash (for which he just won a Golden Globe Awards and SAG Award for his performance) is coming to Studio 8H. Yes, JK Simmons will be hosting Episode 13, and I cannot wait! (I probably won't really enjoy this one, as his talents won't mesh well with the writing; maybe it will, I don't know.)
See you then!

Funday Friday: #3--Better than Legolas

Hey everyone. Andrew here, welcoming you to another Funday Friday.
For centuries, Archery has been a powerful skill among men. But most men are pretty much (and embarrassingly) considered amateurs, compared to this man.

Meet Lars Anderson, who can do Archery like he's Superman. Maybe even faster than the Man of Steel. He is much quicker than his fastest competitor, and can shoot his bow at lightning-quick speeds, sometimes with more than one arrow. He's so quick, you won't know what had hit you, even though this is just a video you're watching.
In fact, here's the video of this guy in action.



Yep, he's that great. Better than Legolas from Lord of the Rings, Oliver Queen/Green Arrow from Arrow and Katniss Everdeen from The Hunger Games, for comparison. I've taken Archery a few years ago, and it's a fun skill to do, and even better once you master it. And I say, this man is a GOD at Archery. If he was a superhero, I'd let him save our streets

Saturday Night Live 40 Review: Kevin Hart & Sia

When I heard that Kevin Hart has been announced as hosting the first episode of SNL in 2015, I had three things on my mind:
1)

2) Maybe I could skip this episode or even end these reviews entirely.
and 3)


This is because I don't like or get Kevin Hart that much. His comedy may be funny most of the time, but the way he performs his comedy is straight-up goddamn annoying. He yells like a cat screeching, he jumps and bounces around like a fucking child, and his topics are ghetto as hell. And yet people (almost all of them from the African American community) find his shit the best thing they've ever heard. Plus, for the past few years, he's been overexposed in the acting industry so hard it just makes my laugh; being in an 1/8 of all films in the past two years, has been hovering the talk show circuit like you wouldn't believe, has a show on BET called Real Husbands of Hollywood (yes, it's what you think it is; and if you haven't heard of it, don't bother researching it and blaming me later) and is talked about by everyone.
It makes me sick! Which brings me to December. When he was announced as host of the January 17, 2015 episode, I just wanted to avoid the episode like the Black Plague or HIV or Justin Bieber.
But because I enjoy loving you guys, the continued love and respect you all bring of the blog--(looks at pageviews)--yes, continued love, I must continue watching SNL to continue the reviews to continue the pagevie--I mean love. If running this blog with the way I'm living life is wrong...Actually, you really wouldn't want to ask me about my life. So let's get this over with because I have a life outside of this.

So we start off with the Cold Open, in which a young man named Michael (Pete Davidson) is up at night working on a paper on Martin Luther King Jr. Then suddenly, Mr. King himself (Kenan Thompson) appears in his room and helps him learn about his legendary life. King then asks the boy questions about his legacy.
On Twitter during my livestream, I mentioned that David Oyelowo would’ve also been great as King in this sketch; not because Kenan was bad (he was pretty spot-on), but because the jokes would’ve been ten times better because the movie he starred in, the role he portrayed, and especially the because of the Oscar snub joke. I would’ve laughed my ass off from that.
It was really good. The jokes were really funny, especially those about the snub by the Academy and the throwaway about interracial love (which was taboo in the last century, but isn’t now). A great start to a really good episode ahead.

--


Kevin comes on stage for his Monologue. As expected, it was some goofy crazy shit we’ve seen from him for the past few years. But this time, it’s hilarious. After getting engaged, he and his soon-to-be wife released that they to get away from the craziness of Hollywood and move into the calm and cozy of the suburbs. But things don’t go as planned. Kevin has a problem with raccoons.

Like I said, this is hilarious.

The Sketch After is a talk show for people who still watch MTV, E!, or the new HLN (which is shit for people who base their lives on Facebook and Twitter) called Why’d You Post That.
The first guest, Kim (Nessa B) discusses her photo of the Empire State Building. Darnell is pissed about it; the photo itself, the content, focus, the effect, etc. (Man, this dude is more psychoanalytical on these photos than I am on everything I’ve talked about on this blog!) So he would throw her into The Wall.
With the second guest (Trisha [Baby Aidy])/photo (a huge, disgusting bruised toe that’d make the writers of SpongeBob blush...and get inspired), things really would pick up, despite the screen not being up to code.

Kevin’s jokes were super funny, making this sketch palpable. “The Wall” was a shocking, yet pleasant surprise. I laughed every time it comes up, even more so now that it’s online. However, during the time poor Kim went through “The Wall”, the couch hit the set wall for a second, seemingly screwing up days of practice and improvement that the producers had with it. Kevin’s vamping made it little better. And another thing, the background music for a show hosted by a black man made it look and sound super white. And speaking of white...

Corner Boys
this next one is a pre-tape about brothas on the streets talking about what they’re doing. Like spin class, shopping and wearing matching sweaters...with dogs.

This is masterfully genius; taking the stories and jokes about black guys doing things like hustlin’, running from the cops or keeping a couple AKs and Nikes on deck, and flips it upside down to get this gem. They say something gangsta, and then after the reveal, say something incredibly white. You don’t have to be Black and/or grow up in the projects during your lifetime to know that’s funny. My faves were Martha’s (Mayonnaise), Jay’s “party” (especially the part where this lady sang “I’m In Luv Wit The Coco”), and Kevin’s bitches (aka dogs from his dog-walking business). Honestly, if they said this in a real projects, they would’ve gotten shot.

“Get On Up”/Fake James Brown
James Brown (Hart) is performing at the iconic Apollo Theater, and before he starts her set, he asks his band if they wanna get funky...among other things.

I laughed hard when Brown asked his band (CecStrong, SaZam, and nearly all of the male members) some good odd questions, and gets back some really odd answers especially what they’d want for lunch I honestly started thinking about Chicken Parm with Mustard. That. sounds. delicious.

Nancy: Soap Opera Reunion
On the “Nancy” Show, host Nancy Chase (Baby Aidy) (which sounds not at all like HLN host Nancy Grace) welcomes members of the cast (Kate Mc, TKill, SaZam and CecStrong) of “soap opera” Fairwood Manor reunite for an interview. But one of the members (Nessa B) is singled out badly when she comes out on set. Just listen to her music.

It’s not great, but I did chuckle when the corny, childish music played when Ms. Bond came on and left the stage. Poor Maggie; seemed really nice. And on a side note, Debbie’s charatcer on the show must have had the life of a cat if she “successfully” killed herself 25 times. And if you know English, you have to understand it to speak it.

The Journey/Musical
A king (Kenan), and his companions (Hart, TKill, CecStrong and SaZam) are facing the wrath of a dragon destroying his kingdom and their beloved land, they try to run away, but they instead start singing a song. Over and over again.

First off, none of them can’t sing to save their lives (literally; I guess that’s why the dragon is on its rampage), but that makes it funny. Hart’s companion is aware of their constant singing, like it’s a musical, like Flynn was aware of everything going around him in Tangled. The writers took the annoying thing where characters spontaneously sing during crucial moments of a story and made it a part of the skit, which I love. Kevin’s reactions to leave also make it hilarious.

Look-a-like/Kevin’s Son
After finishing a show, Kevin goes backstage to finish up and leave for home. But suddenly, an old flame (LesJones), who somehow went past security to go to his dressing room, talks with him about an important matter: Years ago, after they had a one-night stand, she later had a son, who may be Kevin’s. The kicker...they have the same features and character traits down pat.

Jay’s imitation voice, tics and mannerisms are perfect. His voice is so fucking nasally though, it really ticks me off. Leslie was funny, too, thanks to her forcefully making Kevin accept that not-so-mini-Kevin is his son.

Listening Party
In the final sketch of the episode, which I'll call the Five-to-One Sketch (my apologies to The AV Club for the name being very similar), rapper Chocolate Droppa (Kevin's real life alter-ego) has written and recorded his latest single, which is based on his entourage (Leslie Jones, Jay Pharoah, Beck Bennett, Pete Davidson and Bobby Moynihan, Taran Killam, Cecily Strong & Kenan Thompson, which from now on will be known colloquially as The Usual 4, for any time they all appear in a sketch). In that single, however, features lyrics that clearly include embarrassing secrets that he knows about them. Everyone are not pleased.

The physical gags that Kevin did was funny, while everyone else’s reactions were really funny. The things they said, while a little weak, were good enough to make me chuckle. And the secrets themselves are hilarious. The shooting at the end felt cliched, but was still a little funny.

Justin Bieber Calvin Klein Ads
Throughout the ep., a spoof on Justin Bieber’s recent ad campaign for Calvin Klein underwear. When Kate Mc is impersonating Justin Bieber, you KNOW it’s gonna be hilarious.

Lemme just leave a few quotes:
“My tattoo...makes me say owie.”
“My pee-pee’s in there.”

This week’s Musical Guest Sia has been on a whirlwind of a year after working with Flo Rida on one of his songs (this time “Wild Ones”) sent her into the public consciousness. But unlike Kesha, we actually like her. Last year, she released her album 1000 Types of Fear and became critically-acclaimed artist. And two songs from that album were performed here:
“Elastic Heart” and “Chandelier”.
But these performances weren’t memorable because of her singing.
It’s because of her short veil covering her eyes (she really doesn’t like the concept of “Fame and Fortune”, and I don’t blame her; she cares more about the art are of music) and the people of the set:

“Elastic Heart” features the girl from the "Chandelier" video, Maddie Ziegler, and another woman in the same flesh-colored unitards doing an intimate dance number all across the stage. While you would find this beautiful, I found the choreography hilarious. In fact, from this tweet:

You know; if Kate McKinnon was in this performance, it would STILL be funny as it is now. #SNL #Sia

— Andrew Pollard (@APollard36) January 18, 2015

I thought it would get funnier if Kate Mc appeared in this sketch reprising her character from the Halloween sketch in the Jim Carrey Episode #4.

While “Chandelier” features a mime mimicking the lyrics in sign language.
I honestly thought that they were a parody of her videos, because of how absurd some people see them. But nope, they’re legit. I found both performances wonderful; Sia’s voice was perfect, and the street performers were awesome. Maddie Ziegler will have a great dancing career ahead of her.
These performances this season have been no short of amazing. Everyone who has appeared in an episode has really brought the house down with their music. Lorne and the producers have really struck gold this season, and I can’t wait for what they got in store for the rest of the season!

shit.

Time for an Update
Part 1:

Part 2:

At this point, I’m beginning to liken Jost more. I realized he’ll be here for the season (and probably another), and his sane, boring personality has gotten much more tolerable, so I’m beginning to warm up to him more and more.
As for Che, he’s still the same. Fortunately, he’s improved from flubbing lines (and making me cringe more after the fact), and surprising makes me like Colin more than him.
Also, I noticed that they didn’t do a segment together (which I usually liked), but the producers realized something was wrong, and fixed it. Too bad they realized something was still wrong.

I keed, I keed; I said I warmed up to this guy, and I mean it.

I also realized that this edition is shorter than usual. Probably because of Kevin’s Mono. I kinda liked it; if the producers keep it up like this, Update may get better and better in my eyes.

Honestly, ever since I've watched SNL since October 2, 2005, I've only ever saw episodes as ever great, good or average, with no truly bad episodes. (I was a kid with a bedtime of 8:00; please cut me some slack) The one that's truly bad to me so far was the Chris Rock/Prince episode from this season. So I've expected this episode to be really average since Darrell Hammond said his name back in December.
(Basically everyone thought it)
To be honest, though, I thought his last episode was really good; the sketches weren't bad, Kevin was pretty good as host, the Z-Shirt Part 2 gag was a great surprise and Macklemore & Ryan Lewis were awesome as the musical guest. Hell, even the new Daft Punk album commercial made this episode really good.

So, what did I think of the episode?

Overall this was a really good ep.
Kevin was a very fine host; his jokes were much better than I expected, and the “Bushwick” pre-tape was genius. I felt this was a lighter version of the Chris Rock episode though; the sketches were very...urban, for lack of a better tone, as if they were built to reach the host’s strengths and needs. But the writers toned down the darkness this time, since Hart was more of a sillier type of comedian. Plus, he wasn’t as loud and hyper as he usually is in his stand-up, so that’s a plus.

Of all the cast members who did great, I got to give it to Kate McKinnon. She was awesome! Her facial expression in the Nancy Show Reunion sketch was funny, her character in Update was a blast, and her Justin Bieber impression in the Calvin Klein Ads spoof especially was fucking hilarious. I mean it’s always hilarious, but this was one of the best of them all. She did a bang-up job this week, and I can’t applaud her enough.

As for Sia, also great during her performance. Her voice was wonderful and letting the street performers do all the work and not showing her face was a smart artistic choice, even though we’ve seen her face before (and therefore makes less sense). In case you’re curious on what it really looks like, here it is:

Next week Blake Shelton is host AND musical guest.

That's all I gotta say. See ya next week!