Friday, August 02, 2013

Simon Cowell Fathers Friend's Wife's Baby: Some Maury Povich Shit

Hi everyone. Need a shocker? Then watch FearNet. But here's the closest thing to real-life Trash TV drama.


The X Factor judge Simon Cowell is in big trouble today, as it is revealed that he may be the father of someone's baby... the wife of close friend Andrew (hey, that's my name) Silverman.

36-year-old socialite Lauren Silverman — who is still legally married to Silverman, New York real estate giant — is, as of posting this, 10 weeks pregnant with 53-year-old Simon's first child. Here's what led to the affair: Simon was close friends with the rich and ritzy Silvermans. He has gone with them on expensive vacations and lavish parties, being all the more closer with Lauren while Andrew was busy with other things. Recently, their marriage was on the rocks, and Lauren felt emotionally and romantically detached, so she ran into the arms of Simon, and they allegedly had a sexual affair behind Sir Silverman's back, which led to the love child. Simon didn't even know that the baby existed until July 10, with some saying "He was tricked" into the affair and conception of the child. Now all the tabloids in the US and UK are blowing up with this story and everyone's talking about it. Even his co-judge on America's Got Talent's cross-country counterpart Britain's Got Talent, David Walliams, made a splash with this, tweeting:

I LMAO'ed at this. It would've been funnier if he said, "Doing a baby with a baby".

Sir Silverman would speak on the matter, saying “My top priority is protecting my 7-year-old son while working to resolve all outstanding issues with my wife"..."Hopefully people can respect the interest of our child during this process." Miss Lauren would also break her silence saying in a separate statement, "I am committed to sorting things out with Andrew as amicably as possible to ensure the well-being of our son. I would hope for some space and privacy in order to work through this." The couple filled for divorce on July 15.
Simon would also speak respond to the matter, by only dodging the question during a press release for The X Factor at The Television Critics Summer Press Tour, joking "I haven't read the newspapers. Am I missing something?" and later said "Unfortunately I have to keep this, for the moment, private, but... it's just one of those things, but thank you very much anyway," So Simon, who really is aware of the baby he may or may not be having, will not say anything about it...but I'm going to.

This is not right. Maybe this is karma at Simon for all the damning criticism to all the contestants on American Idol and wearing that ugly black T-shirt all the time. That's what you get for being a Brit, Simon! Better than us at everything; smarts, physique, monetary posterity...uhh, hot voice--okay that's too for me.
But seriously, this is so wrong here. Like Maury Show wrong. At least you weren't black, because if so, everyone would find this considered to be a laughing matter; a ratchety laughing matter. But these days, news like this is a laughing matter anyway, and I scoffed at this the first Time I read this. Even if you're not the father, you ought to be ashamed and embarrassed of yourself. Because to me, a baby is considered to be a big, living, breathing reminder of an affair and regret. Also, Silverman should leave Lauren, because cheating breaks marriage vows, and breaking vows--well--cheating's just bad, okay? The fact that this rich couple can't go to marriage counseling and fix this union (which probably is as his fault as was her's too) was also baffling. If they really love each other, they shouldn't be together in the first place.
And I hope Mario Lopez makes a joke about this at the first live X Factor show, because...actually that's what the show needs, counting it's ratings log and network's desperate need to fill a schedule. (*cough FOX cough*)

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