Deport Justin Bieber?

Wow, you guys really take this thing with Justin Bieber really seriously. Now that Justin has screwed himself up in Cali and Miami, you people won't take this anymore. In fact, you had a petition signed to deport Bieber back to his home country in Canada. Since the petition reached 100,000+ signatures, the freaking WHITE HOUSE is forced to respond to it and figure out whether or not to kick him out of the country.

Wow. The fact that you say you don't care about Justin Bieber, yet you do anyway really makes me sad. You guys are feeding into his nonsense and regurgitating bullcrap. If this happens to be a gimmick, this will make Justin even more famous and more people will buy music and go to his concerts and do anything that involves his face and whatever.

IF Justin goes back to Canada, that doesn't mean he'll just go away. He'll do the EXACT same things he did in the past month: DUIs, drag races, drug possession, throwing eggs, beating the crap out of people, and acting downright stupid. And his own country has to deal with this dipstick. I know that's what you all wanted, but we've had Lindsay Lohan, Courtney Love, Madonna, Ke$ha, all the male actors from the 80s, and even Marilyn Monroe went through this behavior. The reason we haven't had them deported is because them are from this country and we all never had deportation on our mind. And in Marilyn's case, I don't think deportation even existed at the time.

People, we have taken this too far. We need to take this one day at a time and hope (and pray) that Justin new behavior (or phase, as this might be) dies down and Justin gets back to the studio and make music, because that's the only good thing about him he has left. To sing songs, sell products, and show barely-there sex appeal only female and gay male fans feed into and everyone else sees as man looking like a dyke with a crotch they don't see as male one.

Short/Long Music Review: Tennis Court & Team

Hello and welcome to the first Short/Long Music Review of 2014. I listen to a song, review it, and share it with you guys in a short, semi-neat package. Got it? Good. Now without further adu, let's get it started.

As you've heard, the ultimate success story came last year, when this artist became a huge success when he released an album independently with no label or no outside help and that album ultimately reached #2 on the US Billboard 200 chart and #1 on the Hip-Hop and Rap Album charts, with one song reaching the Billboard Hot 100 after a steady 16-week climb on the chart and later winning for Grammy Awards.

If you're just thinking that I'm talking about Macklemore and Ryan Lewis, then...yes, those aren't their songs, and that's not who I'm going to talk taking about here. Another person also has become a huge success story last year.

A little girl from New Zealand, Ella Yelich O'Connor, began a career by singing in various drama classes and and later won a talent show singing covers of songs by Duffy and Pixie Lott, with the father of a friend sending a video of the performance to several talent scouts with one of them, A&R scout Scott Maclachlan, signing her to Universal Records. After meeting writer and producer Joel Little, he and Ella would write three songs, one of them being a monster hit song about being poor, lower-class, middle-class, and even upper-middle-class with a dream to live life like a pop-star, rap-star--hell, any music star with sucess. At least that's what I think it is because all I hear is her mocking and destroying rap and pop stars on a nice minimalist beat. That song gave Ella a huge hit, massive media attention, and a Grammy Award.

But I've already talked about Royals. Today I give my review on two other Lorde songs; something you may have never heard of, unless you go to Pitchfork.
Two songs completely different from it that I think you'll like better, depending on your tastes...or social status.
It's "Tennis Court" and "Team" by Lorde.

Tennis Court is about Lorde's newfound fame and success after "Royals" and criticizes the high life rich people live. I hear "class clown", which I think she looks like in the video, and "beauty queen", but that means they're different from everyone else, and that they won't care about the rich. The beat is good, slower than Royals but really good, with this little beeping noise sounding like it's coming from Asteroid or Pong or whatever; an arcade game. One of the lyrics is "Don't you think that it's boring how people talk/Making smart with their words again, well I'm bored", meaning she hates how people talk about themselves and the things they want (but not need), and she wants to stand up to them and make her voice heard. Her own voice; her different voice; her "I hate rich life" voice.

This seems ironic, because Lorde is now living the high life along with the rest of them. I wonder what Lorde is like now that she's famous and rich and living the high life.

"Team" meanwhile features poor teenagers wishing for prosperity and happiness. While the rich and ritzy live high and mighty, the down and out are stuck in their small homes looking for work and to make end's meet, but find themselves close to friends and family in their small towns. Lorde hates being told what to do and wants to be her own self. (Does that sound familiar?) Here we don't know more than rich women wearing hundreds of jewels on throats; I don't know if it's their throats or some cut off of other people's heads, or whatever (shiver), so we're treated to what the normal people are and do for once, and that's a good thing. The beat here is better than Tennis Court; It's more sped up, more jaunty and more danceable than "Tennis Court" or even "Royals" I think I'll like this one better.


Hey, you know what?
I just noticed this. These songs and Royals are about Lorde's probable hatred of rich people and the life they all live. I believe this is probably a mission of hers. Make every other song a "I hate snobby, uppity, saditty, rich people and everything about them" song. It's like Taylor Swift, but just replace "Boys" with "People", and you've got Lorde's career on a pedestal. I really like that, though. Anyway, if she keeps doing this, people will get tired of her and go to the next hit sensation, whether a black girl who hates white people "because they is white", although she's near white people a lot; or a masked man writing electronic music, even though he hates it with a passion and even does video blogs about them; or a latino dude singing about his love of being a Scotsman, despite the fact that he has no clue about Scotland at all.

The point is, I really like these songs, and I really like Lorde as the now-quintessential anti-pop-star, but this might be a gimmick that might not last any longer, and people might get tired of it. But I hope she doesn't quit on this; we don't have many artists that DON'T talk about money and riches and cars and bitches, and does it in a very nice, near-indie, very awesome package. Keep it going, Lorde. Never stop.

And there they are: two songs I didn't have to review but I did (and wanted to), because-well-someone had to. But it's up to you if you want to listen. And it's also up to you like this girl (but you SHOULD), but if you don't, you've certainly made a wrong choice.
Next time I will be back to find another song to review (I hope it's good; who am I kidding, it's probably bad).
See you next time.

Beyonce's Grammys Performance Too Sexy? ...Yes

At the Grammys, last night, Beyonce opened the show with a steamy and provacative performance of "Drunk in Love". Some TV rights groups and parents blew a fuse. (Sigh)
I actually agree with the parents who said this. The performance aired at 8:00pm, where inappropriate or sexual content cannot air. And Beyonce's performance was indeed inappropriat and ESPECIALLY sexual to air at that time.

Although, to be fair, Beyonce didn't do much but walk around and move herself around on the chair--

maybe you all have a point about that.
Also, this is the Grammys. It's not family entertainment. It's for people 14 and older, and not for kids. Parents should be aware of that.

But you know what--uh--um--

well, uhh--

Alright. It was inappropriate. End of story. But of course, there was another inappropriate performance from Katy Pery, P!nk doing sexy acrobatics, and a bunch of gay people getting married on live television. But the most controversial was Beyonce. Everything else was all "Good Good".

SERFBUARD!

Grammys 2014: The Winners

Hi everyone.

As you heard, the Grammys Awards aired on Sunday. I gave my review, which is up as of now, but I noticeably left out what everyone cared for(well, not really): the actual awards that have been given out. So here they are as forgotten by me, Andrew!

Daft Punk were the big winners of this years' Grammys as they aired in no particular order (as in copied from Wikipedia):

Best New Artist - Lorde (safe choice, but she's very talented, so kinda deserved)
Record of the Year - Daft Punk - "Get Lucky" (Very catchy song, better than some other noms)
--Thomas Bangalter & Guy-Manuel De Homem-Christo, producers; Peter Franco, Mick Guzauski, Florian Lagatta & Daniel Lerner, engineers/mixers; Bob Ludwig, mastering engineer
Album of the Year- Random Access Memories–Daft Punk (Haven't heard any of them, so congrats.)
Song of the Year- Lorde-"Royals"
--(What a very nice victory for a song that's a big FU to rap and pop artists)
--Ella Yelich O'Connor & Joel Little, songwriters
Best New Artist- Macklemore & Ryan Lewis--(Very talented guys, maybe deserved)
Best Pop Solo Performance- Lorde -"Royals"
Best Pop Duo/Group Performance- Daft Punk featuring Pharrell Williams-"Get Lucky"
Best Pop Vocal Album- Unorthodox Jukebox–Bruno Mars
Best Pop Instrumental Album- Herb Alpert-"Steppin' Out"
Best Dance Recording- Zedd featuring Foxes-"Clarity"
--(I really don't like this song. Truly. But congrats.)
Best Dance/Electronica Album- Daft Punk-Random Access Memories
Best Traditional Pop Vocal Album- Michael Bublé-"To Be Loved"
Best R&B album- Alicia Keys-Girl on Fire--(The title song is really corny to me now.)
Best Traditional R&B Performance- "Please Come Home"—Gary Clark Jr.
Best R&B Song- Justin Timberlake-"Pusher Love Girl"--(It's an okay song.)
Best Rap/Sung Collaboration- Jay Z Featuring Justin Timberlake-"Holy Grail" —-(So boring)
—-James Fauntleroy, Jerome Harmon, Timothy Mosley & Justin Timberlake, songwriters
Best Rap Performance- Macklemore & Ryan Lewis-"Thrift Shop"--(Very good and catchy song. Well deserved. And Kendrick Lamar was robbed. He should've won at least one award. He's also very talented.)
Best Rock Performance- Imagine Dragons-"Radioactive"--(I'm beginning to dislike this song. Especially live. It's boring and tired.)
Best Alternative Music Album- Vampire Weekend-"Modern Vampires of the City"
Best Rock Album- Led Zeppelin -- "Celebration Day"
Best Country Song- Kacey Musgraves-"Merry Go 'Round"
--(Very talented girl. She's probably what Taylor Swift isn't.)
Best country album- Kacey Musgraves-Same Trailer Different Park
--(Has some nice songs. I think She'll do very well.)
Best Music Video- Justin Timberlake f. Jay Z-"Suit & Tie"
--(I think Capital Cities' "Safe and Sound" should have won. The vid has almost every visual format known to man and lets them mesh together perfectly. You have to see it to believe it. Way better than just Black & White. Also the song's great.)

There are more winners on the official Grammys website, and (obviously) Wikipedia.
Well thank you for reading, and thank you for reading the Grammy Awards review yesterday. 14 pageviews in the first 3 hours of its release. Wow!!
Thank you and see you next time.
Later!

MaroonMondays Awards Reviews: Grammys 2014

([ZZZZZZZZ] Huhh? What? Ohh. Oh man. What time is it? Oh snap, gotta make the review!!)

Hi everyone and welcome to MaroonMondays Awards Reviews, where I, Andrew, bring you my thoughts on the big awards ceremonies...and and tries to be funny with it.

This time around, I review the 56th Grammy Awards, the biggest night in music, and (to me) the biggest waste of time and energy in my life. So why do I watch? Because I have a blog that needs stuff like this to survive. The Grammy Awards is one of them.

Here's how I felt after watching last years' show:

Seriously, after watching some of the performances, I felt really tired. Alicia Keys; boring. Frank Ocean; snoozefest. Coldplay? More like Oy vey. Prince? Wait, Prince didn't perform. Lost my train of thought. Oh yeah; To put this in perspective, if my sister brings her kids to visit me and act up past bedtime, I'd turn this on and they'd be knocked out in minutes. So since then, I've hoped for a better, more exciting, more entertaining and all-around great show. And maybe I've got one.

We start with Beyonce on a chair, performing her big steamy hit "Drunk in Love". Previously, that means someone's gonna perform a song acoustically. Now a days, it's someone using said chair to grind, lap, and sex their way to Naughtyville. Although she didn't do much on (and off) the chair, Beyonce sang beautifully, even better than when she sang on the track itself. And of course her husband Jay Z performed with his hottie-hot wife, grinding their beautiful bodies together as the song progresses. (I'm not a fan of his verse, but he "spat", if I shall say, very well.) Many people say that this performance wasn't really good; they just put too many expectations on her; I didn't. They wanted a big production with dancers and bright shiny lights and fire, and they got a woman sitting on a chair with bright shiny lights. It's still sexy to me, obviously because of who's performing it.

After the opening act, host LL Cool J did his hosting bit, and I think he did better here than he did all of last year. He was more loose, on point, and less wooden.

After that, Lorde performed her monster hit that crudely destroys rappers, pop stars and their lifestyles that we'll never have ever, "Royals". Everything was dark (which makes sense because, like the song, it wasn't flashy) and she sang--well--odd. While her voice was good, it seem like she was making her voice way different from in the song. I hate when people do that. Also she was moving around like an emu or ostrich or Bjorn performing live. It was questionable to me, but I still liked it.

Hunter Hayes later came out, performing a new song called "Invisible". It's one of those "If you've been bullied and/or outcast, then you're not alone, so I wrote this for you" songs as of late. He sang well, but I thought he had nerves, but that's fine for a Grammy newcomer. I think he's pretty talented and will do very well in the Country world. Oh and it's not about cars, girls from the south, and beer by the keg--y'know, with lots of twang.

Katy Perry sang a track from her latest album called "Dark Horse", which, to me, sounds like the closest thing Katy has to reaching Hip-Hop with this song. The stage was dark and gloomy, which I find nice. Rapper/Professional strip club critic in disguise/sadly still an ACADEMY AWARD winner Juicy J joined her later for his guest verse. I actually like his verse, mostly because it's not about strip clubs, strippers, and other generic rap crap. I hate the way he sounds when he raps, but I'll give an exception here. Also that red light on her chest looked like her tits have bones
which probably explains why they're so big.

Robin Thicke was joined by legendary band Chicago for two of their classic hits "Does Anybody Really Know What Time it Is?", "Beginnings" and "Saturday in the Park", along with Thicke's mega-hit "Blurred Lines". I think this was a nicely meh set, even though others said it was horrible and that "Blurred Lines" is a rape song (STILL?!?) and that he shouldn't have sang with them---blah blah blah. Overdramatic. Also I only know the choruses to the Chicago songs, so I can't tell if the critics were right about Robin messing up the lyrics to the songs, so time will tell. Overall it was a really good job.

Next, two short performances from John Legend and Taylor Swift.

Legend performed his beautiful love ballad "All of Me", which was simply wonderful; just him and a piano under low lights singing. I then noticed some woman watching him from a close distance; then I noticed that it's his wife. Anyway that is a beautiful song about falling in love with someone no matter what they look like on the outside; Inner Beauty works.

Straight after an award was given, Taylor Swift appeared to sing a new song called "All Too Well". She did great, even though it was one of her many (in)famous break-up songs, which I hate. And that headbanging thing? It basically got media coverage. And at the end, she looks at the audience with a stern look on her face, like she's saying "Whatever".

I actually laughed at that.
I smell GIF status. I even saw, in my mind, a fake Twitter account. Basically half of everything on this show got a fake Twitter account, including Pharell's big, brown, gawdy Ranger's hat.

Later on, P!nk, one of the most spontaneous, inspiring and sexy performers in pop perfromed "Try", a song about taking risks in love, and "Just Give Me a Reason", a song about how a couple's relationship isn't really bad, but just needs repair. Fun.'s Nate Reuss joined her for the latter song. I loved P!nk's voice and amazing acrobatics (after her more-than-fantastic performance of "Glitter in the Air" years ago, but--I hated hearing Nate Reuss' voice. He sounds like a woman (obviously) trying to sing like a man, and he looks the part too (not as much as Justin Bieber, though) but failed horribly. I myself might not have a great voice, but I'd rather hear me sing this live than him. At least he sounds great on the track.

The surviving members of The Beatles performed last night just weeks before the 50th anniversary of their historic first American television performance on The Ed Sullivan Show. I'll get to Paul McCartney later, but first up, Ringo Starr brought the house down with his latest song "Photograph". He really had some energy to pick up because performed the crap out of that song. For a guy his age and considering what band he was a member of, he really did great.

Alt-rock band Imagine Dragons and revival of Hip Hop Kendrick Lamar joined forces to perform the singles "Radioactive" and "mAAd city". I really don't like when Imagine performes this song live, especially when the frontman sings. It gets really loud and I hate when he says "Radioactive". Also, I feel the song is overrated to me now, because of how many times I hear on TV and the radio. But I did love when they performed with K-Dot on "mAAd city". It's a fantastic piece about his life growing up in Compton, CA and the struggles and tribulations throughout childhood and adulthood. I would hate to be him.

But of course this performance will be more remembered for Taylor Swift grooving to the beat like a black girl at a block party. I said to myself of this, "This is probably going to be a meme soon".

I noticed after that that all of the performances were in dark lighting. I don't know if it was a them for this years' show, or someone at the Staples Center dimmed the lights a little (or a lot). It definitely wan't the TV though.

Kacey Musgraves followed straight after with "Follow Your Arrow". Although she sounded great, all I heard from the song was "Kiss lots of boys, and kiss lots of girls', so I assume it's about being against or for being a bisexual. But it's actually being (and staying true to) yourself; following you arrow. Meh, that's fine, but from what I head, the song basically says "It's okay to be whatever you feel; skinny, fat, gay, straight (as an arrow) or someone who likes to kiss a lot. No one's gonna stop you."--that or just let Kacey judge and then be what she tells you to be.

Ringo came back with his fellow Beatle Paul to sing one of McCartney's latest songs "Queenie Eye". It was wonderful seeing these two best friends and legends get together on stage again, especially for the Ed Sullivan anniversary. And Hearing them perform is fantastic. And the song is great too.

I didn't watch any more after that. So after watching them the next day on YT, here are my thoughts on more of the performances:
-Metallica rocked it out of the park their performance of "One" with Lang Lang.
-Daft Punk killed it with their biggest hits, including "Get Lucky", with Pharell, Chic's Nile Rodgers, and STEVIE WONDER on hand to burn the stage. "Le Freak" and Wonder's "Another Star" also played briefly.
-Sara Bareilles looked like she was going to die happy after performing with her idol, the legendary Carole King when both sang King's "Beautiful" and Bareilles' "Brave". Both did so stupendously.

-Macklemore & Ryan Lewis brought out Mary Lambert, Queen Latifah, Madonna, Trombone Shorty & Orleans Avenue and 30 straight, gay, bisexaul and biracial couples to give us one beautiful, inspiring and powerful performance of "Same Love" and "Open Your Heart". If I watched live, I would've cried. I think I'm crying now.
-Green Day's Billie Joe Armstrong and Miranda Lambert joined together for a really great performance of "When Will I Be Loved" and
-Nine Inch Nails, Queens of the Stone Age, Foo Fighters' Dave Grohl and Lindsey Buckingham ended the night with an awesome set of "Copy of A" and "My God Is the Sun".

And that's the show it was very exciting, more watchable and way less boring than last year. I don't know if I think next year will be better or equal. (It will probably be boring, I don't know.)
Well, I'll see you February 2 for Super Bowl XLVIII. Until then, this is Andrew saying, "Good-Good (laughs) Bye!" and "SERFBUARD!"

Man Plans to Kill Rhino; Activists Plan to Kill HIM

Corey Knowlton was in hot water last week. What--you don't know who he is?? Well, if you don't, what's wrong with--I'm kidding. Even I don't know who he is. He's a hunter who enjoys killing animals for a living. On April during an auction held by the , Knowlton paid $350,000 for the chance to hunt an endangered African black rhinoceros. He did so successfully. After his announcement of this, many animals activists have made their disapproval, with several sending him death threats, and some even threatening to take his AND his family's lives. Knowlton has since hired around-the-clock private security after receiving the death threats.

(SIGH)

Now I'm not an animal lover, mostly because I eat meat. I really hate animal lovers, not because of their protection of animals (I'm pretty much cool with that), but because of the way they go about it. They act all high and mighty about how the animals are sacred species and that their lives shouldn't be tampered with, that they're perfect and special, that the world wouldn't be great without them and ect., ect., ect. But hey, from what I can tell from years of watching nature shows like National Geographic Explorer and My Gym Partner's a Monkey, it's that animals are not perfect and special--well, at least they don't act that way. They're not high and mighty, and we're basically just like animals, if evolution is to be believed. The fact that you want to kill one species by killing another makes you jerks and jackasses.

And to the specific group of people who want to send death threats and take the lives of Mr. Knowlton and his family, just to protect the life of one rhinoceros. I've got two words for you:

FUCK YOU!!!!!

Why in the name of God would you want to kill a man to save the life of an animal?! The human is just the same as a species as a rhino. They both have a face, legs, a nose an appitite, and a beating heart. And besides, a rhino will die from other things too, like starvation, diseases, famine and being killed (and eaten) by other animals.

I'm not condoning murder of any special species (humans included), bet he's a man and he can do whatever the sweet fuck he wants! You can't because you are weak, stupid and horrible. I hope you get trampled by a rhino you're trying to protect like an elephant trampling a peanut named Chuckles.

Oops, too soon. (Still not sorry)

SNL Finally Has a Black Female Cast Member (Now SHUT UP!!)

Hey, everyone.
Well finally, after months of controversy, endless chatter, and many people finding a negative in this big positive, Saturday Night Live has found its new African American female cast member. Her name is Shasheer Zamata (just imagine how Don Pardo is saying her name). She will make her debut tonight, when the show returns from hiatus.

Now the reason why I want to type this post isn't because of my being happy that SNL has a black female cast member. It's because I'm happy everyone can be quiet now that the search and find process is over. This has been going on since the new cast members were announced last year. And when they debuted last September, the annoying chatter kept going and going and growing and growing until it annoyed creator Lorne Michaels, who decided to create a talent search to find the next cast member of Saturday Night Live. More specifically, an African American Female cast member. After hundreds of women auditioned for a cast member spot, Lorne and the producers found their perfect black female in Upright Citizen's Brigade alum Shasheer. Now, before last year, nobody gave a damn about the cast of SNL. Nobody gave a damn (that much) about new cast members, only veterans and the host they wanted to see. Only blacks and other minorities cared about black cast members. And I'm black and I've never cared for this even years after Maya Rudolph.

What also annoys me is the constant stream of comments from people saying the reason why SNL chose a black female cast member is just because she's black. And that makes the producers of SNL racist. First off, that's the point, dipsticks. That they clearly wanted a black female cast member because the public won't shut up about it is really out there. In fact, You ALL should be the racist. You all wanted not a cast member in general, but a BLACK (FEMALE) cast member. You didn't care whether or not she (or he for that matter) had any talent. You cared if she/he were a person of color (namely black.) You wouldn't stop throwing shade at SNL because the cast is full of white people--By the way, you do notice there ARE cast members of color in the cast? There is an Iranian, a Hispanic, and a . It's not half, yes, but it's something. Add that to Sasheer and the two black male members (Keenan Thompson and Jay Pharoah) and you got a diverse cast.

Now that this is all over, can we all be quiet and just be glad that SNL has the diverse cast we all never really needed until this moment? Can we just enjoy the cast for their humor and talent and not for their skin colors? Because if their cast won't make you any more happier, I WILL make a post about how stupid and decisive you all are, and I will use REAL curse words.

Sasheer, I wish you well. I hope you do good come tonight. Everyone will actually have high expectations for you; but I won't. I wish you well tonight and for the rest of the season. And hopefully years to come. Knock 'em dead, girl.

The Downfall of Justin Bieber : UPDATED (a little)

Well someone is in the news this week, and it's someone I have not mentioned before. He's someone you know and loath (or love, depending on who you are) and on a big downfall since ever since his second (Under the Mistletoe is a Christmas album and doesn't count) album Believe. Also he's a topic I've sworn and promised to never talk about since this blog was created. But now, I have broken this promise because, dammit, Justin Bieber isn't a child anymore and needs a wake-up call!

Ever since Believe dropped, he's been on a crazy, twisted rollercoaster ride of a celebrity like this. For example, first he did a really lazy thing, having his bodyguards carry him up the Great Wall of China; only people in wheelchairs or walkers can't do that. Later April 2013, in the Netherlands, while visiting the Anne Frank House, he wrote, in the museum's guestbook, this:

"Truly inspiring to be able to come here. Anne was a great girl. Hopefully she would have been a belieber."

Stay classy, Drew. Of course he later got criticized for it, but wondering about Anne Frank being a Belieber is like wondering if Rosa Parks was a fan of Twilight, a Twi-Hard: it just won't happen.

And now the apex of it all: last Thursday night in Calabasas, CA, Justin was caught by his next-door neighbor Schwatz throwing eggs at his property including his door and walkway. The neighbor said there were at least 20 eggs thrown at his property.

Since then, he is now under an investigation into the matter, with the Los Angeles Police Department raiding his home Tuesday morning and arresting his good buddy Xavier "Lil' Za" Smith (who?) after drugs were found in the house belonging to him. Whether it's cocaine or not, he's still going to jail. As for Justin, he is a suspect in a vandalism investigation, with his damage to his neighbor's property exceeding $400. Meaning he has committed a felony.

UPDATE: And what can I tell ya ABOUT FELONIES? He has now been arrested for drunk driving, suspicion drug possession and DUI, and drag racing in Miami Beach, later resisting arrest. He did this after blowing tens of thousands of $1 bills at a local strip club the night before. He was sent to jail on $2500 bail (1,000 for resisting without violence, $1,000 for DUI and $500 for driving with an expired driver's license).

Thank God stupidity and horniness aren't viruses, or else he and his hyper-loud, scatterbrained fans would've infected us years ago.

Justin, this behavior NEEDS TO STOP. You're 19 years old (and about to turn 20 in March) yet you're acting like goddamn Bart Simpson! you're lazy, stupid, annoying, and downright pissing us all off. Just because you're a music star, doesn't mean you can anything you want, whenever you want. There are people in this world who appreciate hours of walking through one of the 7 wonders of the world, walking through the house of a Holocaust victim, and living in a nice, swanky, ritzy neigborhood without doing really f**king stupid things. None of things could ever justify who you are and what you do. Well, so does getting high, shoplifting, and killing someone; but you didn't do (2 of) these things, so you're not that stupid. But anyway, this all needs to stop. Your fans are defending you. The media is making a mockery of you. Hell, I'm actually wasting my time talking about you. Either truly retire from the music industry or continue making a damn fool of yourself. At least things can't worse. You could--um, kill someone, or--what the hell--just be like a rapper and bang a bunch a women, knock them up and deny the kids from the get-go. Although unlike the Mariah Yeager (who?) catastrophe, this would be real, raw and much worse.

U

So Justin, get your damn act together. I'm already beginning to hate you (outside your music, which is meh already) and you just continue to lower my standards. This isn't a plea for help; even the near scatterbrained fans of the Belieber hive are finding your acts stupid. So, just...okay?

Golden Globe Awards: My Review

Ahh, the Golden Globes, the loose-as-hell ceremony that I consider the drunk, fun-loving cousin of the Academy Awards. What I love about this is that unlike the Oscars, the humor isn't forced, the celebrities are being themselves for the most part, and it isn't boring me so much I might get a seizure. I love what I saw last night; Tina and Amy should host again next year, and the year after that and after that and after that, until people get tired of them, like sequels of Hollywood movies.

I'm gonna keep it short, so here are some highlights for me:
The thing I clearly hated about the show is actors walking across the auditorium to receive their award. It's not their fault the Hollywood Foreign Press Association foolishly put many of them in the back of the Beverly Hilton so they would be usurped by the bigger stars in front of the stage. Too bad, some A-listers didn't win.

The best joke of the night was at the beginning, when Tina Fey said "Gravity is nominated for best film. It's the story of how George Clooney would rather float away in space and die than spend one more minute with a woman his own age." Hahaha, it's funny 'cause it's TRUE!!

The worst joke of the night came from Brooklyn Nine-Nine creator Dan Goor: "Winning a Golden Globe is way better than saving a human life!" Yes, waiting an hour to see if you won an award and/or actually winning one is MUCH better than saving the life of--well, saving a life. Good one, Dan. Just be glad your show is about police officers saving lives and it won an award and leave it at that.

Melissa McCarthy was more drunk than funny on stage. I blame the media for hyping her up for being in so many comedy films, making her look like royalty. Even less funny than Jonah Hill not using a teleprompter to present a movie. At least he got it together with a hard copy paper.
I'd be Randy's father. I'd be creeped out by Jacqueline Bissett too. Diane Lane singing was nice. Unexpected and weird, but nice nonetheless.

One of the jokes also might have set off the live feed: "Like a supermodel's vagina, let's give a warm welcome to Leonardo DiCaprio". If there were any complaints, those people are pussies because they can't take a solid lewd joke. And it's Leo DiCaprio; gay men's penises will give him a warm welcome anytime.

There were much more highlights I would've put here, but I was too busy either laughing so hard or busy remembering the highlights I put here to put here.

This years' show was fantastic. Tina and Amy will host again, I'm sure. And the producers should change the format a little next year, maybe put on a 7-second delay all the way through, maybe make more time for the hosts, and-oh yeah- not make actors walk from the back of the room to get a damn Globe!!

WINNERS (in order of broadcast appearance):
Sup. Actress in a MP - Jennifer Lawrence (American Hustle)
(Great for a film that was released a month ago)
Sup. Actress - TV Series, Mini, or Movie Jaqueline Bissett (Dancing on the Edge)
(Best speech of the night just because she said "Shit". Bloody perfect!)
Mini-Series or TV Movie - Behind the Candelabra
Actress in a Mini-Series or TV Movie - Elisabeth Moss (Top of the Lake)
Actor in a TV Series - Drama - Bryan Cranston (Breaking Bad)
TV Drama Series - Breaking Bad (Anyone else "not expect" this?)
Original Score-Motion Picture - Alex Ebert (All is Lost)
Original Song-Motion Picture - "Ordinary Love"- (Mandela-Long Walk to Freedom)
Sup. Actor-TV Movie/Mini-Series Jon Voight - (Ray Donovan)
Actres in a Comedy/Musical - Amy Adams (American Hustle)
Actress in a TV Drama Series - Robin Wright (House of Cards)
Screenplay-Motion Picture - Spike Jonze (Her)
Actor in a Comedy/Musical - Andy Samberg (Brooklyn Nine-Nine)
Foreign Language Film - The Great Beauty/Italy
Sup. Actor in a MP - Jared Leto (Dallas Buyers Club)
Actor in a Mini/TVM - Michael Douglas (Behind the Candelabra)
Director-Motion Picture - Alfonso Cuaron (Gravity)
TV Series-Comedy - Brooklyn Nine-Nine
(A really good surprise; better than The Big Bang Theory in some aspects)
Actor in a Comedy - Leonardo DiCaprio (The Wolf of Wall Street)
(Great for another film released a month ago.)
Comedy/Musical Film - American Hustle
Actress in a MP, Drama - Cate Blanchett (Blue Jasmine)
Actor in a MP, Drama - Matthew McConaughey (Dallas Buyers Club)
Motion Picture - Drama - 12 Years a Slave
SPECIAL AWARD: Cecil B. DeMille Award - Woody Allen (Well deserved; his films are timeless)
My apologies if any winners did not appear on this list.

And that's it. Thank you for reading. I'll see you in March for the Academy Awards. See when Ellen Degeneres makes jokes about the nominees and other things, while somehow adding herself and her talk show into them, like she does any. other. time she appears TV. Wouldn't want to miss that.

Oh well. Good night!

People's Choice Awards: My Review

Hey everyone. The People's Choice Awards aired last night, but I didn't watch live. I had other things to do. So I watched from YouTube, thanks with the good graces from from someone who recorded and uploaded the whole thing, so I thank you dearly. So here are some highlights for me in a nutshell:

It seems like every time CBS airs this ceremony, it's just an excuse to give some of their shows recognition and tell people about them. And let Ellen Degeneres show up just to pick up an award for "Best Talk Show Host"; her record 14th!! I don't hate Ellen; I find her hilarious a lot. But it's time someone else won the award, but as long as she has a talk show (until she 79 for all I know), she just keep this award category under her belt (or fanny pack; whatever she makes her team make for her at abnormally large sizes). And Adam Sandler is only funny when he isn't trying to be.

Anyway, I always have this consternation like I have for the past few years. Some of the expectations were correct some of last years winners won, and it came to my anger. I don't know why I should be angry, but this is the People's Choice Awards. The people chose; specifically, anyone under 28 with a computer and cell phone, and not me. But how the awards were given and how everyone still acts so surprised makes me sick. I should be happy, at least, but I wasn't.

Also the hosts suck ass, especially the blonde. Seriously, Kat Dennings and Beth Behrs should stick to their day jobs (even though their day jobs also suck ass.) Although Beth was kinda good singing Wrecking Ball and Before She Cheats. She did something okay. So not much is different. It was boring, felt forced and I almost deeply regretted watching.
And yes, there will be people saying "If you didn't like it, you shouldn't have watched it."--well, something like that misspelled and messed up with numbers somewhere. But it was live, Sara Barreilles was performing and they're not here anyway, so what!

All of the the performers were great this year. But my favorite was OneRepublic, who really shut the place down with their performanc. Ryan Tedder really burnt his throat wailing on stage. And this is one of their best songs to dte for me, so that's great.

Here are this years' winners: My reaction is right next to some of them.

Favorite: Movies
Movie/Action Movie: Iron Man 3
Comedic: The Heat (It was pretty funny, Bu Sandra And Melissa were hilarious)
Dramatic: Gravity (Sandra owned popular cinema this year; one of the best dramas )
Actor: Johnny Depp (What movies have he been in this year I heard of?)
Actress; Sandra Bullock (She owned the show this year)
Dramatic Actor: Leonardo DiCaprio
Dramatic Actress: Sandra Bullock
Comedic Actor: Adam Sandler (He's only funny when he's not trying hard to be)
Comedic Actress: Sandra Bullock (Seriously!)
Action Star: Robert Downey Jr. (What did we think was gonna win?; This will explain the requests he made at the mic.)
Movie Duo: Sandra Bullock & George Clooney (Gravity)
Family Movie: Despicable Me 2
Horror Movie: Carrie
Thriller Movie: Now You See Me
Year End Movie: The Hunger Games: Catching Fire

TV
Network Comedy: The Big Bang Theory (I did expect this at all)
Network Drama: The Good Wife (Ohmigod YEEEESS!! This show rocks!; Seriously this show is really good)
Comedic Actor: Chris Colfer (He makes me laugh zero times)
Comedic Actress: Kaley Cuoco (She makes me blush a lot a times)
Dramatic Actor: Josh Charles
Dramatic Actress: Stana Katic
TV Crime Drama: Castle
Sci-Fi/Fantasy Show: Beauty & the Beast
Sci-Fi/Fantasy TV Actor: Ian Somerhalder
Sci-Fi/Fantasy TV Actress: Kristin Kreuk
Cable Comedy: Psych (I was shocked. No really.)
Cable Drama: The Walking Dead (I wasn't shocked there
Premium Cable Show: Homeland
Movie/Miniseries: American Horror Story
Cable TV Actress: Lucy Hale
TV Anti-Hero: Rick Grimes (The Walking Dead)
Bromance: Sam Winchester, Dean Winchester & Castiel (Supernatural))
Gal Pals: Rachel Berry & Santana Lopez (Glee)
On Screen Chemistry: Damon Salvatore & Elena Gilbert (The Vampire Diaries)
Hero: Norman Reedus (The Walking Dead)
New Comedy: (Super Fun Night)
New Drama: (Reign)
Actor In A New TV Series: Joseph Morgan
Actress In A New TV Series: Sarah Michelle Gellar
Streaming Series: (Orange Is the New Black)
Series We Miss Most: (Breaking Bad)
Daytime Host(s): Ellen DeGeneres (The Ellen DeGeneres Show) (See top, but still, someone else should win next year)
Late Night TS Host: Stephen Colbert (The Colbert Report)
New Talk Show Host: Queen Latifah (The Queen Latifah Show)
Competition TV Show: The Voice

I can't show the Music categories, because this is too much for me to bear.
It was a mixed bag shoe for me as always so we'll what goes on next year.

Thank you for reading; I'm so sorry I didn't give you more, but whatever. Good night.

Natasha Leggero "Offends" PH Veterans with SpaghettiOs Joke

Ahh New Years Eve: a time to celebrate another year gone, having fun with family and friends, and and mock veterans for not having basic bodily functions. Well that's what comedienne Natasha Leggero did in the form of a joke on TV on New Years' Eve.
On NBC's New Year's Eve with Carson Daly, Leggero, along with actor/comedian Anthony Anderson and actress Jane Lynch, was asked by Daly about how SpaghettiOs uses Veterans Day awareness to sell products and make profit.

Lynch joked that she was worried that SpaghettiOs is now considered pasta, while Leggero made this joke about United States veterans not having teeth to chew the "pasta".
Here's the video below...



(Oh no!! That she-witch!! She should be hangged!! WHATAN IDIOT!!)
First off, you may be wondering: who the hell is Natasha Leggero? Well, she's a comedienne best known from Comedy Central, and currently stars in the show Brickleberry (which I suggest not watching, unless you're into porn, mocking religion, redneck humor, and other tasteless crap. But season 1 is pretty good; check that out if you want to.)

Now I get the backlash she has received. I myself was pretty shocked by the video at first by reading the header, but when I watched this crappy video clip on YouTube, I could barely make out what anyone said.
(And the annotation on the top, made sense at first)

Of course you'd think I'd be pissed off and outrage about this, right?

Well...This should make me pissed off! I should be outraged! This make me angry!! THIS should make me FIND her and HANG HER!!! But, no, it really doesn't.
Why should we be offended? Because we all have someone in our lives who previously went to war and now don't have any teeth? Well, yes, that may be the case, but all she made was a joke. And seriously, veterans won't have teeth when they're old anyway. WE ALL won't have teeth when we're old. It's just what happens when we age, people.

It's a sad joke, yes, but she didn't make a joke about vets being blown up or killed. THAT would have been off-color, tasteless, idiotic and therefore unfunny. She made a joke about vets not having teeth and barely being able to chew food with gums or dentures. There are comedians out there who have made worse jokes about veterans and our society in general for years and all we do is shut up and laugh at them as if it was episode of All in the Family. Yet all you heard from her was "survivors of Pearl Harbor" and "food they can barely chew" and you're immediately up in arms. You all are acting like she made a funny about vets losing a leg, and then using a cane they can barely walk with, because the cane company is using Veterans' Day as a ploy to make a profit. Just like Anthony Anderson was acting like he was cracking up at the joke.

And if you're pissed off that I'm not at the same page with you about this subject then too bad. I'm not sorry about it. It's not a horrible joke. Calling a 9-year-old Oscar-nominated actress a cunt when she grows up is a horrible joke. Funny now, but still horrible in hindsight. Oh and she wasn't sorry about the vets joke thing either, when she posted this on her website:

I wish I could apologize, but do you really want another insincere apology that you know is just an attempt at damage control and not a real admission of guilt? Let me just try instead to be honest.
I'm not sorry. I don't think the amazing courage of American veterans and specifically those who survived Pearl Harbor is in any way diminished by a comedian making a joke about dentures on television. Do we really believe that the people who fought and defended our freedom against Nazis and the Axis powers will find a joke about SpaghettiO's too much to bear? Sorry, I have more respect for Veterans than to think their honor can be impugned by a glamorous, charming comedian in a fur hat.
That's not to say I don't think comedians are a problem in this country, they are a financial drain on the people who date them and talk far too much about themselves. I'm thrilled to see how passionate (death threats against a five foot tall woman are always the height of passion!) people are about our country and our Veterans. I am too. My own father lost his hearing in the Vietnam War so the issue is pretty close to me too. So rather than apologize, let me offer another perspective.
On the one hand you have me, making a joke about how old people can't chew tough foods very well.
On the other hand you have Veterans who receive inadequate care upon their return from active duty, rampant sexual assault against female soldiers, staggering rates of suicide, traumatic brain injury, PTSD, substance abuse and depression among soldiers and political gridlock that prevents these problems from getting solved quickly.
Where do you think your outrage and action would be better served, calling me a c--- or doing something about the above problems?
For those of you that are currently doing both: Kudos!
To our vets: I love you. I truly hope you know that.
To SpaghettiO's: Let's do lunch.
To the Elderly: Chew!
To [some guy named] @nealrscott: It's spelled Human Excrement not Increatment.
To those looking for an active way to address the above problems, do what I've decided to do instead of apologize: Make a donation to the Disabled American Veterans foundation.

Hah!! She made a burn against you, because you're unintelligent and lazy!! (Ahem)
Anyway, she did something really different and decided not to apologize, because we as a society don't take a comedian's apology as nothing more than crappy damage control. And she cares about veterans as much as the next guy. You don't see other comedians do something like this before. And you know no one accepts their apologies unless their name is Ellen DeGeneres or Taylor Swift. And the next time something on veterans comes up, and she makes a joke about them, she will NOT get a sympathy vote from me.

By the way, I'm sure nobody chews SpaghettiOs anymore. They just stick it their mouths, taste and swallow. Unless there's meatballs, because then you can chew them.

See you next time when you old pal Andrew tries to defend Jamie Kennedy being asked about how middle-class Americans are struggling financially, and turns it into a joke about how Black and Latino residents survive on Food Stamps. You'll burn for my reaction!!

Later!