Super Bowl XLVIII: The Highlights

Hello football fans!!

I'm Andrew, and this is my review of the biggest (football) game of the year: SUPER BOWL XLVIII!!

Now last year was known as the game of the brothers and the blackout, in which, for the first time ever, the coaches of the competing teams, the 49ers and Ravens, were brothers--John and Jim Harbaugh--

and during the game, there was a blackout

(yes, a blackout) which lasted 34 minutes. This lasted to so many jokes for days,

And Beyonce was the Halftime Show performer
(maybe she caused the blackout, with all them damn lights.)

But this year is something special, because it's held at MetLife Stadium in Meadowlands, New Jersey (although some people actually think it's in New York. Where does New York have a major football stadium, outside of Buffalo?) and the first Super Bowl to be played in a cold wether city in an outdoor stadium. The Denver Broncos of the AFC faced off against the Seattle Seahawks of the NFC. This is also the Super Bowl with the biggest height of security in history, thanks to would-be terrorists, bomb threats and sex trafficking nearly hampering the safety of the playes, fans, coaches, performers, ect. This year has become this most talked-about year in recent memory...and yet, the most boring.

So are you ready for a recap? No? Well, too bad; fire up the worditinis and let's get it started!!


The game began with the ball actually going behind the Broncos and into the end zone. Then it goes back and forth between teams, starting with coin toss winner Seattle Seahawks and Denver Broncos. After a punch in by Marshawn Lynch for the Blue team to get a 2-point lead, the teams go back and forth and back and forth until someteam finally scored: and that was the Seahawks with a field goal to get the game going.

You know what from now on, I'll call the teams the Blonkos
(as in Rook Blonko)
and the Seasponges (you know, like SpongBob) mo make this boring ass post more exciting.
So here we go. As the game progresses, things start to pick up after when Percy Harman runs 30 yards to the end zone, although a flag was thrown. After another kick by the Seasponges for another field goal, #24 runs through the crowd to make the first touchdown of the game, making it 15-0. The game would pick up a little more when after a little while, the Blonkos would try to make an even game, they fail even more when Seasponge Malcolm Smith quickly catches the ball and swims him way to the end for the second straight TD for his school of flying cool. It's 22-0. It was at this point that the Blonkos, their fans the stadium attendees and the 111 million viewers who watched last night are in for a catastrophe of a game, led by the Seasponges and their stinging performance.

In the third quarter, it's the Seasponges dominating and destroying the Blonkos starting with Percy Haron running all the way to the EZ; just 12 SECONDS into the quarter. How awesome was that?? 29-0. Russell Wilson then makes a great throw to Lynch, 19 yards. After slips and slides, #15 Jermaine Kearse makes the run for yet another TD. The Blonkos finally score later in the quarter with 8 points.
You know what? I'll stop there to say that "to me, this was one of the worst Super Bowls EVER." Not in years, not in recent memory, or not even in decades; WORST. SUPER. BOWL. EV--AR. It's so boring and sad, I could turn on a--a test pattern or the old NBC Peacock "In Living Color" bumper or even the Chicago television Max Headroom incident
and either of these would be much better to watch than this. I'm very sorry folks; but even with the exciting highlights, the fact that the Blonk--I mean Broncos barely ever scored makes for bad television. Even if I wanted the Seaspo--Seahawks to win the game. The game ends with a score 43-8.

This was a bad Super Bowl and I'd be happy to forget it as fast as I can. even if I can try to forget Max Headroom too.
And I wish there was another blackout. Now, that would shake the game even more.

And that's my review. Like it? Thanks. Hate it? I understand.
See you next time.