#SLMR: Bang Bang

Hey, everyone. Welcome to Short/Long Music Review.

Well, this summer has been filled with big hits by many artists, from Iggy Azalea with "Fancy" and Ariana Grande with "Problem", not to mention songs like John Legend's "All of Me" and Pharrell Williams' "Happy", already popular songs which had big staying power on the Hot 100.
There were several songs from female artist getting and heavy on the charts and making the summer music season sweltering, but there was one song that was a triple threat: with the best voice from a female Pop star, the rising star that kept rising and the hottest Fem-Cee in Hip-Hop joining forces to bring us this, one of the biggest songs of the summer.

It's Bang Bang by Jessie J, Ariana Grande and Nicki Minaj.



"She got a body like an hourglass, but I can give it to you all the time"
--I'm sorry; body types aren't my thing. I'm a "I'm desperate, please like me, I don't care what you are; my parents want me out of the house!" kind of guy. And this "give it to me all the time" thing? Irritating.
"She gotta booty like a Cadillac, but I can send you into overdriiive, ohhh"
--If she had a booty like a Caddy, which nowadays looks smooth and round, that's another reason why that's not helping out in your case. There is no way I'd leave her for you.
"Stop and wait, wait for that, (what?) stop, hold up, swing your bat (What is this about baseball, now?)
"See anybody could be bad to you, you need a good girl to blow your mind, yeah"
--Oh, I see. Because she's "bad", that means you have an ample excuse to try to take me away. Well, too bad, missy! It's not gonna--
"Bang Bang" into the room (I know you want it)" --Uhh
"Bang-Bang all over you (I'll let you have it)" --Ohh
"Wait a minute/Let-me-take-you-there (ah)" --Really?
"Wait a minute tell you (ah)"
--
"Bang Bang, there goes your heart! (I know you want it)"
"Back, back seat of my car (I'll let you have it)"
"Wait a minute/Let-me-take-you-there (ah)"
"Wait a minute tell you (ah)"

I'm sorry, but somehow this song does not sound like one about love, relationships, taking some girl's man and sex. It sounds more about murder.--Seriously, this must've been written by someone who had a grudge on someone else who plagiarized his/her work, and wanted this as the constant reminder that he/she is still out there.
You can hear it especially in the chorus.
"Bang Bang" into the roof"
I got you cornered.
"Bang-Bang all over you"
Oop, I shot you.
"Let-me-take-you-there"
"There" meaning the local morgue
--
"Bang Bang, there goes your heeeaaaarrrt!"
Boom, you're dead. You weren't a great lover anyway.
-(Okay, are you sure that this isn't co-written by Hannibal Lecter under an alias?)
"Bang Bang, seat of my caarr"
Gotta hide the body somewhere.

I must be the only one who notices this, but after this is released, I won't be.
Okay, now here's Ariana's verse.

--"She might've let you hold her hand in school/But I'mma show you how to graduate"
Okay, that line makes you sound like a pedophile. Really, from hearing that, it makes me think she's an older broad looking for love from barely high-school-aged children. Just because the other girl let the boy (whomever he may be) hold her hand in school, doesn't make you a good person to rip him away from her and join you in whatever freakfest session you got planned for him to "show him how to grduate". It just makes you a Grade-B trashbag skank...and a sexual predator.
Sure because while she was boring being all cutesy by holding hands, but you're just worse wanting "I think you're cute, let's have an orgy" sex.

--"No, I don't need to hear you talk the talk/Just come and show me what your momma gave"
You mean my penis, the thing she gave me when I came out of the hole and used it a bungee cord before they cut it? Sure, why not.

--"(You've got a very big shhhh/mouth, but don't say a thing)"
Umm, yeah, it kinda is. I took a cold shower this morning; that probably helped.
"See anybody could be good to you, you need a bad girl to blow your mind"
See? Again, this! This thing that they have going on, thinking they're better than any girl any guy they're looking for. Just because they're good at fucking, doesn't make them good people. Even though, Ari has actually referred herself as a "bad" girl. I know this happens only as interpretation in songs, but from how I see it, it just feels

After the chorus, it's everybody's favorite annoying sexpot with an irritating voice, the body of a ham hock, and the booty like a Hummer, Nicki Minaj.

"It's Myx Moscato
It's frizz in a bottle
It's Nicki full throttle
It's oh, oh
Swimming in the grotto
We winning in the lotto
We dipping in the pot of blue foam, so
Kitten so good
It's dripping on wood
Get a ride in the engine that could
Go, Batman robbin' it
Bang, bang, cockin' it
Queen Nicki dominant, prominent"

Uhh...
"It's me, Jessie and Ari; if they test me, they sorry"
That's right men. If you test Nicki Minaj, she'll be pissed. The least you get is a talking to, and the worst is her sitting on you. That won't be good for your penis, now would it? Would it?

"Ride us up like a Harley
Then pull off in this Ferrari"
I get the Harley part as it's about rough, hard sex, and Nicki is smart to to refer herself as a Harley, because she's an easy-ass slut with a vag hungry for anything with a dick.

"If he hanging, we banging
Phone ranging, he slanging
It ain't karaoke night but get the mic 'cause I'm singing"
She never sang, anyway. Also, "If he hanging, we banging"? If a woman is that hungry to have a guy in bed just for going out with her...huh, maybe I should go out more often.

Okay, these lyrics make no damn sense, features the same old shit we hear from female rappers (I understand feminism and sexual liberation, but screw it) but Nicki has the--ugh--swagger and lyricism to pull it off and make me like it.

So from all this, it makes me think "Jessie" is a horny homewrecker, "Ari" is a creepy child-lover, and "Nicki" is...
well, "Nicki".
Surprisingly, out of all the ladies in the song, it's Nicki who has the saner (to me) lyrics. Jessie and Ari are women who want to take men away from established relationships and use them to their sexual advantage. And Ari's lyrics make her look older than she currently is (probably because Victorious and Sam & Cat are still fresh in my mind, but yeah). Nicki is always a dimwitted horny slut as portrayed in some of her songs. But here, it's much more tame, mostly because they come in so fast, you barely notice them the first few times.

Also, I caught two different scenarios.
Scenario 1 is this: These three women are luring men into sexual relationships because they believe the girls they're with don't stand a chance to them in the freaking and "T&A" departments, and are just using to get wet quickly, and then they're through with the guys like disposable cellphones. And...
Scenario 2 is that they see men in horrible relationships and want to save them from their terrible fates by being their better girlfriends, which is where the man happily accept because sex with Jessie J, Ariana Grande and Nicki Minaj is apparently the best thing ever. But in a world like this, both scenarios exist. I believe in S1 because...whores are a twisted people. And speaking of twisted...I don't hate this song. Really.
This song isn't really that bad. The beat is awesome, the vocals of Jessie and Ari are amazing and Nicki's rap verse isn't that bad. It's dull, but not her worst.

This song was a summer hit, it felt like a summer hit, and it deserved to be a summer hit. This is one of Jessie J's best hit singles. It's no "Price Tag", but it's coming close. I want more from Jessie J in the future. Her voice and style is amazing and no like any of the other female Pop stars in the game today (mostly because she has an actually good voice), so seeing this song make it big on the charts really pleases me. Girls, keep it up...and keep it in your pant(ie)s.

Thanks for joining me today for this edition of Short/Long Music Review, and I'll see you next month for another review...

Kanye West Asks Handicapped Fans to Stand Up; Ends Up an Asshole Again

Okay Kanye. It's that simple. Open your mouth, and insert your foot into it. You've done it a few times before; it's not as complex as your music or your ego. So do it.

Kanye West is in hot water yet again when in Australia, during a concert, he asks all his fans to stand up for a particular part of his song "". When he noticed two fans still sitting down, he actually stops the song, and tells the two to do what he told them to to. They can't...because they're both handicapped. One of them is in a wheelchair and the other is an amputee. Fortunately, he realized his faux pas and said that if someone is in a wheelchair, they don't have to stand up. Don't HAVE to stand up!? Umm...they CAN'T stand up, you cunt!!

I don't wanna get too much into it, so click on this to check it out: http://www.myfoxphilly.com/story/26529142/concert

but long story short, Ye, you don't give the authority over ANYONE to do what you want to. This is a concert; they will stand up anyway, no matter who's playing what arena. They WILL stand up. And if they don't, get used to it. People get tired from standing up at concerts, kinda like you getting tired of other people doing things that have nothing to do you.

And to Kanye's fans who wanted the two handicapped people stand up: You all are dumb(ass)holes. If you see someone in a wheelchair (especially in the seat right next to you in the same row), and you make them stand up? You deserve a day in hell; not only by people verbally giving you shit, but also spending a day in the actual place. Unless-you're Buckley, nobody likes an asshole.

Joan Rivers Has Died

Hi, everyone.
Who knew that just a week after we lost one of the greatest actors and comedians of all time (Robin Williams), we would lose one of the greatest comediennes of all time?
Well, that's what happened when the shocking and heartbreaking news came earlier today, when Joan Rivers passed away at 1:17PM at Mount Sinai Hospital in New York. As soon as I heard he news, I was shocked. She was so alive and well, that she could do her magic for another 5-7 years. So shocked that I hoped that she would wake from her coma and leave the hospital to do what she loves best alive and well.

She was a true pioneer in comedy and paved the way for many females to go into the world of stand-up comedy. And she was just a busy-body; always having the time to do stand-up shows, her E! show Fashion Police and her We show Joan & Melissa: Joan Knows Best?. Her humor has been controversial in recent years, but she still knew how to make em' laugh. Sure she could piss someone off with it (I was one of those people), but there was always a chance someone else can chuckle from it (Again, I was one of those people). And jokes have been made about her face (me myself have made a few before), but she was a beautiful woman with the wit and humor to match.

"My mother's greatest joy in life was to make people laugh," her daughter Melissa Rivers said in a statement. "Although that is difficult to do right now, I know her final wish would be that we return to laughing soon."

Joan is survived by her daughter Melissa and her grandson Cooper.
She will be missed.
(1933-2014)

Female Celebs' Nude Pics Leaked by 4chan

So...you may have heard about some...pictures that have surfaced on the Internet over the weekend. These pictures are nude pics of some well known female celebrities, including Jennifer Lawrence, Victoria Justice, Mary Elizabeth Winstead and Kate Upton.

In a perverted way, I could say:
THANK YOU, FATHER GOD IN HEAVEN!! THANK YOU FOR THE DUDE WHO LEAKED THE PHOTOS!! NOW I CAN FIND SOMETHING TO JERK OFF TO EVERY NIGHT FOR THE REST OF THE YEAR!! MY PENIS CAN BARELY TAKE THE ALL THE TITS AND ASS AND ANUS AND STUFF!! AWW DAMN, I'M SO CREEPY AND DISGUSTING.
(Okay, I saw some of the photos. What?? I DID say I was a dog on the Facebook page! Maybe...)

In a sane, rational, not-a-horndog way:
The Cloud is a very dangerous thing. One day, you put pictures into it that you find sacred and personal; the next day, it might end up in some dinky pervert's computer & flash drive along with pictures of their family after a trip to amusement park.
Anyway, as much as it is the fault of the person who hacked the cloud and leaked the photos, the ladies has a fault in this too. They should know that the Cloud is a very huge Internet-based feature that collects people's information and private things (videos, photos, the like), together with other people's things. And it's controlled over the Web; you can't control them without it. Someone (anyone) with the knowledge and perversion (Basically a Howard Wolowitz circa Season 1-3)

can scope the Internet, find the accounts, hack them and dip into Freakazoid heaven with the pics in their possesion. This just shows how disgusting and thirsty they are (Me included). And from the pics I saw (Yes, I admit, I saw some and I do feel disgusted in hindsight. Don't judge me.), you really need to put a filter and what you want and don't want to pick pictures of, and posting onto a Cloud app or anywhere else on the Internet. Men will DROOL over this shit (See the video for Nicki Minaj's Anaconda. There are at least 150,000 men watching it as this moment. and 200,000 of them watching it on mute.)

Also, the people of the companies whom have a Cloud product are at fault. It's really stupid now that we have to sign up for applications in the Internet just to keep our items. The Cloud is one of them. I don't trust it, because some creepo might hack into my Internet connection, find my stuff, and upload it to the Web (to say nothing of keeping them). Then I'd be humiliated to even walk out my house. But we're used to it because the damn thing is mandatory in every electronic device we own. Dammit, how I wish I could go back to the time where we didn't have Cloud and convince the companies that this didn't happen.
So...2012, maybe?

And 4chan...stay classy.

Sanrio: Hello Kitty Not a Cat--People: WHAAAATT?!??--Me: *FACEPALM*

Hey. You guys know what Hello Kitty is, so I'll get to the point.
This week, Sanrio, the Japanese company behind it, made a reveal that the anthropomorphic animal of our happiness, is not what we all really thought she was all these years: a cat. She's not a cat, but a "person" that so happens to look like a cat. The LA Times reports that University of Hawaii anthropologist Christine R. Yano found some news while working on a HK retrospective exhibit at the Japanese American National Museum.
More deets here: http://www.thewire.com/culture/2014/08/what-mrow-hello-kitty-is-not-a-cat/379252/

Really? Who gives a flying fuck about this?? And who should? Because the sad thing about it is that people are actually angry about this. ANGRY!!
There are people dying in the Middle East, Robin Williams recently died, people are wasting water on the Ice Bucket Challenge (at least some are) and there was a nearly-month-long standoff in Ferguson, MO, after the death of Mike Brown. I'm even angry that Ricky Gervais didn't win an Emmy. And yet, many people choose to be angry at this crap?! Really, people? It's a frickin' fake character!!! Who should care about what it is, or how it looks like? Well, except those crazy, annoying diehard fans of TV shows, movies and comic books. Hello Kitty is just a thing with clothes on and no mouth behind a pink background. I don't know (or get) the appeal of this, but it's there. When I heard about this story, I thought: "Hello Kitty is still around?" and "Why should I care?" and 'What's for dinner?". That's all I have, because I find this shit absurd enough to not be considered a thing to discuss among ourselves. And yet, in the age of social media, this is what we have to look at.

And to the people who are actually pissed about it: Why the hell do you care?? Hello Kitty is a fictional character. The only thing we actually know is that she's a female, we love the cuteness about her and all the merch we have of her and her friends is astronomical. Why the hell do you care about the fact that she's not what you think she is? Or the puzzling fact that she's British, despite the fact that Sanrio is a Japanese company. This just doesn't make sense. Kinda like your mindset; you need to fix that.

I bet @midnight is gonna have a field day (or night) with this.

MaroonMondays Awards Reviews: MTV Video Music Awards 2014

Hi, MTV. I’m Andrew for Maroon Mondays.
You may have read my review of the Video Music Awards last year, snarking about how terrible it was and how dull and dimly-lit it was. Here’s what I said:

Next year, MTV, do better. Get a host. Make it brighter. And stop making those trashy moments; they now seem forced and sad. The BET Awards are kicking your ass, and they are more entertaining. And yet I thought they were the bad one.

Mr. MTV, I’m so sorry. You kind did get better. I was angry at the Miley fiasco, how (intentionally) strange it was, and how questionably tiny her ass was. Because of that it, spread to the entire show. I thought the rest was really good. I honestly enjoyed it. All the other performances were awesome and the winners (some of them, anyway) were well-chosen ones indeed. So, please forgive me.

Anywho...
Hey, everyone. Andrew here welcoming you to my review of the 2014 MTV Video Music Awards. And of course this show is known (and very-well remembered) for its shocking and controversial moments, one of them happened last year during Miley Cyrus’ performance. And boy, do I remember it very well. pink teddy bears, Chuck E. Cheese swimsuit/costume, foam finger (*shudder*), Robin Thicke coming out and then she twerked on his meat (I think he felt anything when she was all over him, if you know what I mean.)
If you want to know what was all about, here it is:


This years’ show took place at the Forum (remembered previously as The Great Western Forum; seen Space Jam? Yeah.) in Inglewood, CA, continuing MTV’s trek of putting the VMAs in places that aren’t New York City, LA, or Vegas (although they went to Miami once). Probably they might go to Chicago, Charlotte or even Galveston, TX in a few years. As with last year, there was no host. I can understand this given how huge and lavish the sets are and how amazing the graphics look every year (you readin’ this, BET?), but it’s odd how they don’t spend some money on a host. Hell, I could be the host and do it for FREE if they asked me. Oh well.

Okay, enough with the technical crap, let’s get with the review.

We begin with catastrophic star Ariana Grande performing what can be her next hit of many, “Break Free”. Her voice sounds deeper and breathier than her last performances. And a little scratched. Outside of her great voice, her stage presence was wooden and robotic; all she did was stand and walk. No emotion in that And another thing, I thought this song was about love and stuff, like that song with a similar name from High School Musical. Nope, it one of the many pop songs with the beat of electronic music (God, these things annoy the fuck outta me, like outsourcing music from to DJs with turntables and computers). Anyway, the performance was mixed; voice was great but everything else was dull.
--

Straight after that, Nicki Minaj (and her co-star, her colossal ass) perform "Anaconda". I song I HATE...with a passion. The song’s about the desire a man has of having some chick’s fat ass on his dick. It’s obnoxious, forced and all-the-way annoying. She was lip-synching, and I didn’t have time for the strip sequence. Although, this was more--umm--exciting than Ari’s performance.
--

Straight after THAT, Jessie J slayed it with her single “Bang Bang”. This third of the set was the hands-down best of them all. Just her standing there with her voice can beat Ari and Nicki clean. And her legs (DAY-Yum). This part was the Best Performance by a female so far.

Taylor Swift took the stage and shook some of herself off on it, performing the song that’s not going to NOT reach the Top 40, “Shake It Off”. It’s a really good song with a very good beat. And even though it’s about how pissy she is about some boy who messed her up (and there IS the subtext about this too.), this song is one I actually like from the jump. Her dancing skills was... One part of the performance was really funny. During the bridge, Taylor was on top of this setup of 1989 (the name of her latest album), signaling to us she was going to jump from it and into the arms of her male dancers. She then thought “Fuck this!” and decided against it, saying and went downstairs to continue the performance. This was one of my favorites of the night.

Next up, Sam Smith sings the song that made him a star overnight, and a superstar at the end of the year, “Stay with Me”. his voice is perfect in every way. And when he sings it live, it’s a different kind of perfect. This one for me was the Best Performance by a Male of the night. I don’t care if the dude has to move around and dance, he must have a voice to back that up. And Sam has the voice that overpowers everything else. He deserves to be a star, and I’m glad to watch his star rise.

Usher performed “She Needs to Give it to You” with Nicki Minaj. Everyone was wearing white like they were in a Got Milk? commercial. I don't know the song, but Usher sung it very good. Then Nicki Minaj came out looking like she sheared Lamb Chop’s family for that fur she wore. She was--well, I really could care less about Nicki, but that fur stuck out to me. This performance was Meh, along with the song. The beat is really good, the whole “I’m gonna give it to you” is getting really old. I mean, saying “give it to me” is like yelling at someone to give you a cookie, not your desire to cum.

Later on, that band I still barely know existed, 5 Seconds of Summer sang “Amnesia”. It was a good performance, but, to be honest (and I don’t wanna sound mean), I don’t care for or about them. They’re good musicians, but I’m not a fan of them. And all I can say is these guys should be grateful to MTV for putting them in a stage of this caliber because there will be a time when they wouldn’t be popular and famous and that they’ll be just an obscure thing in music. Remember Young the Giant? Yeah.

Iggy Azalea performed her song “Black Widow” with featured artist Rita Ora. Both ladies brought the sex appeal to this one. both looking sexy in black skin-tight body. This one, though was kinda dull, despite the "spider and its web" concept.

Next, Maroon 5 performed “Maps” from a concert stage outside the Forum. And MTV made it look like a damn concert, too. The song is really good, and the beat is the same. Although I’m not much of a fan of Adam Levine’s voice, he does make the song sound good this time. I really enjoyed this one.


Finally (the woman BET only got on tape, but MTV got in the flesh), Beyoncé. She performed a medley of her songs from her surprise Self-Titled album. AND. SHE. SLAUGHTERED. IT. I MEAN COME ON. Who thought she WOULDN’T?! She sang every song live (and not lip-synched), looked smoking-hot sexy doing it, and each song somehow got more visually better than the last. The dancers were great, the backgrounds were awesome and fit the songs perfectly and her vocals were just...***Flawless. Plus, during shots of medley, her and Jay-Z’s daughter Blue Ivy is seen dancing to Mommy’s songs and cuteness was on overload. And then when the medley ended, the whole stadium was on their feet (cheering her), and Jay came to his superstar wife, their offspring in hand. And I just cried. It was just...MTV saved her for last and made a smart move doing it.

Even though no one else cares about it, the camera angles and production work really work in every performance. The people who produced the show (Den of Thieves) really knew what they were doing in those departments. So I’m one of the every few people of the internet to say this: Den of Thieves, you are a bunch of geniuses. Your production of the VMAs make it more visually amazing and beautiful to look at. Thanks for taking the VMAs to new heights.

And now some Random Thoughts from the show:
--That moment when Nicki Minaj held her dress tight during “Bang Bang”. Some people thought it was a “Wardrobe Malfunction”, but my sister (who was watching we me at the time) thought it was because of the quick timing because of the medley format, which makes much more sense. Ari had plenty of time to change, while Nicki had only two verses and a cut-up version of the chorus to wear the dress and change the fact that she used to wear something that highlighted her ass.

--Sam Smith is a star, needs to be a star, and will be a superstar when his next record comes out. Oh, and he needs to work with Adele SOON. because if I need to have my heart skip a few beats, this would be the perfect reason. These two artists changed music for the better, and this record they could make can blow all of music for the better.
By the way, during his performance, there were many cutaways to Kim Kardashian and Kendall & Kylie Jenner; more than what I ever really wanted (NONE). And don’t get me started about them texting during the heartfelt tribute to Michael Brown. Speaking of that…

--It was very nice of MTV to shed a few minutes for the tribute of the slain Ferguson, MO teenager, and having Common be the voice of the tribute was a great touch. He kept it short, sweet and classy.

--Honestly, in hindsight, having Jim Carrey & Jeff Daniels present an award on the show was a BAAAADD move. Jim acted like he was in character as every other character he played in his films, while Jeff tried hard to toe the line between sane and strange. So, in short, it was weird.

--I thought Nicki Minaj’s Anaconda performance was gonna put the censor on lock, but it was actually surprisingly tame, even for her. Not even her ass could make it really raunchy. I still don’t like it though; it’s still dull.

--I thought it was sweet during the moment when Miley Cyrus let an unknown guy accept the Video of the Year award for her. The message he gave was heartbreaking and then heartwarming. It made me want to help out for this cause he mentioned.

--Beyonce trended on Twitter overnight. And she deserved it. She later got out-trended by some guy named Frank Grimes.

--And finally, some good winners were chosen this year, although I thought better videos and musicians should’ve won.

Nevertheless, I liked this show, although I felt it was kinda dull, something I felt surprised by because it's the VMAs. Dull isn't its middle name. But it's survived by those strange and controversial moments, very few of which we got this year, probably even just one (if you count those vignettes with Jay Pharoah in them). Anyway, I really wouldn't mind if MTV made the VMAs much more upbeat and livelier next year; I want to feel happy when we're not watching a performer singing. I felt like I was about to die (you know, Beyonce killed me on the inside). If I can't do that, then I don't know why I should still watch the VMAs. I barely recognize names, it feels dull and dreary (Like Lorde's persona; unless she says "Thank you so much" in her beautiful New Zealand accent.) and it's the only thing I still watch on MTV anymore. Oh well.

Thank you guys for joining me for this review and join me...the next time an awards shoe comes up. But not the Emmys, because I'm winded. I Bark Fun--I mean, Bye-Bye!!

Robin Williams Has Died

Hi, everyone.

Do you feel a little shocked? Well, I do. And you will be, too.
Acclaimed actor and comedian Robin Williams has died today. He was 63 years old. He was known for his legendary career of stand-up comedy and quirky physical comedy. He later went to acting, guest starring in an episode of Happy Days as Mork, a strange alien from the planet Ork; He was sent to Earth to learn and record human life and activity. That would lead to him and co-star Pam Dawber starring in a spin-off entitled Mork & Mindy. That series would air from 1978 to 1982 and would become a huge hit, cementing Mr. Williams' career as the big thing in comedy.

He would later transition to acting starring in many iconic films such as Mrs' Doubtfire, Aladdin, Jack, Good Morning, Vietnam, One Hour Photo and many many others, winning an Academy Award from his role as Sean Maguire in Good Will Hunting. He would later get back into television in 2013, starring in The Crazy Ones, a sitcom about an advertising company created and run by his character Simon Roberts and his daughter Sydney. The series lasted only one season. This series' axing is what shocked me about his death; the fact that it ended not to long ago, and that he passed away just months after it ended its' run.

Although it's currently unknown just how he died, the Marin County Coroner has released word that he died from committing suicide. Whatever happens in the coming days is clear, we lost an icon of comedy...too damn soon. He has inspired many people to get into comedy and will never be forgotten. 
Rest in Peace, Mr. Williams. You are gone, but you are not forgotten.
(1951-2014)

100th POST of 2014--Maroon Mondays Awards Reviews: Teen Choice Awards 2014

OH MY GOD, I'M reviewing THE Teen Choice Awards AGAIN!!!! Ugh.

Anyway, I think this parody from Family Guy sums up how goofy, hyper-active and strange this show is. Plus, the names for the actors that come on the show is absolutely spot-on.
Brian definitely said it best:

"Every year I recognize fewer and fewer names."

Boy, was he right.


Anyway, you know what the Teen Choice Awards are, so I won't get into it. Here's last year's review for more:
http://maroonmondays.blogspot.com/2013/08/teen-choice-awards-my-review.html


This years' show (held from the legendary Shrine Auditiorium in Los Angeles) was hosted by Teen Wolf star Tyler Posey and Modern Family star Sarah Hyland. I did not like it. At all.
Here are some highlights (as I would call them, Lowlights, because of how mind-numbingly painful they were):
-Tyler was painfully awkward and sweaty here and Sarah seemed doe-eyed dull, but she was better than Tyler at being funny because she stars in the most popular sitcom on TV. Whatever the writers wrote probably knew how corny it was and loved to see how many laughs it would get, so they sent them in anyway.
--Tyler shook his butt in front of Jennifer Lopez, who's known for her butt more than her music. He ought to be lucky he's not as much of an acclaimed actor, or else that would've been a huge embarrassment on his part. Oh, and it wasn't funny. Or enjoyable. And I have more of a butt than him.
---Keeping Up With the Kardashians has 10 SEASONS (!!!!); 8 more than I could EVER fathom. Cosmos was in the same category, but lost. No more can be said about this.
----And many more to mention, but I can't because I need my brain.

But just because most of the show was horrible, doesn't mean there weren't at least a few great moments. Here are the Highlights of the show:
--There was a brief reunion of cast members of Shake It Up when Bella Thorne presented the Candies' award to former co-star Zendaya. It was so sweet and heartwarming, and nice to see CeCe and Rocky together again. (And she looks so damn good.)

--When Ariana Grande accepted the award for Choice Female Artist, she gave a beautiful and touching speech, which mentioned the hard time her and her family suffered after the passing of her grandfather. She really kept it classy and sweet ending it by thanking her fans for the love and support she received from them and to never stop doing what you loved. That speech is the best part of the night for me.

--Donald Sutherland won the award for Choice Movie Villain for The Hunger Games: Catching Fire. Surpringly, he's not young with washboard abs, but what makes me happy is he's not young with washboard abs. The fact that he won showed that the teenagers voting (or the producers; still keeping an open mind, here) at least sometimes have an eye for true talent in some categories. The mention to his wife of 42 years (who agreed with their choice) were beautiful, and also, the salute some audience members made during the speech was pretty cool. The other best moment of the night, folks.


I'm gonna be honest: I've watched this show for many years. This is the first time ever that I've never heard of almost anyone who steps foot on stage or is mentioned during the opening credit. Literally, almost no one I recognize. It's like I'm grateful for the repeat offenders of these awards, just so I know at least half of the people appearing. So after 90 minutes of this, I just had to turn it off. I came in at least happy, but left disgusted, annoyed, and depressed. Maybe I was too hard on the BET Awards; sure their categories are predictable but at least they have surprises and great performances to make up for it, but this is sad, shameful and frustrating. If I were a girl, I'd sadly be just like them; screaming for whomever is hotter or has nicer hair or can take off their shirt. It's that terrible. And you know what? This said it best about one thing:

What I find sadder is that more people don't already realize that most awards shows are rigged #TeensDontHaveAChoiceAwards

— NICKandMORE (@nickandmore) August 11, 2014

It starts with the nominations. “They” select who “they” want (and by "who" I mean the names that will bring them the most attention).

— NICKandMORE (@nickandmore) August 11, 2014

If you haven’t noticed, people who are promoted to be at these awards are usually the ones that win. #itsnotacoincidence

— NICKandMORE (@nickandmore) August 11, 2014

Exactly. RT @nsideguy25 "yeah well most reality talent shows are too. But we still watch"

— NICKandMORE (@nickandmore) August 11, 2014

This gave me the wakeup call I needed to realize: The voting system is rigged to please the teenage girls who watch every year. And this works almost every time. And to get ratings. Basically, all you have to do is show up and you're given a surfboard. If it's that easy, maybe I should star in a TV show or movie catered to teenagers, be hot and popular and just show up at the show. I just might win one. So easy.

Let's get to the performances. 85% of which I hardly know of.

Demi Lovato kicked off the show with her latest hit "Really Don't Care". I really did enjoy this performance although the appearance of featured artist Cher Lloyd was more apathetic: I thought she was lip-synching. Plus my siblings (who were watching with me) were commenting that she was a little different in her appearance (i.e. She got bigger). I thought that was uncalled for and really didn't care. She is still her.

Next, our latest Canadian export, MAGIC!, took us to Reggae-town with their monster debut "Rude". Which is about some guy asking a father for his blessing to marry his daughter, and ends up a whiny pussy when he says No, calling him Rude, that he's the one who's Rude. There could be a reason why the Dad doesn't want to give his little girl to this dude, the chorus telling what it is. He wants to start a family with her, whether the dad likes it or not. And just because he's human, he expects everything to go his way. Outside of the authentic beat, which is fantastic, the lyrics are terrible and shows how dickish the guy is.

The performance was great, however, and the band plays very well live.

RIXTON (a British band I've never heard of before last night), performed two songs. Double the less recognition. They are "Wait on Me" and "Me and My Broken Heart" (a song I heard on Rising Star by contestant Macy Kate; I thought it was a song she recorded).

I thought they were a really good band. Those are very upbeat with some nice lyrics so I'll give them a listen sometime.

Becky G perfomed her hit (God, I need to listen to radio a little bit more) "Shower". At first I thought the song is about a guy she wanted to date, but didn't, because he stinks. Anyway, it's just a typical "white girl acting like hip hip" song--Oh wait, she's Latina? Oh. My dearest apologies. I barely heard any lyrics from her because she spoke so fast and it's kinda funny that way. The beat is really nice, though; I give her that.



And finally, Jason Derulo performed "Wiggle" and "Talk Dirty", the two song that involve a woman's backside and what he wants to do with it later on. Surprisingly, I think I like this one better than Demi's. It's bouncy, amazing and fun from start to finish. The dancing was awesome, his vocals were killer and the songs aren't that hated to me anymore. The segue was awesome. The beat from "Wiggke" is irritating to many, but I enjoyed it. Although, I did say to myself when the female dancers came out, "There is no way those are real. They look more like pillows."
Anyway I enjoyed this performance so much, I wish I were there. The screaming and corny humor would be totally worth it.

On an overall scale, I thought the performances were really good. They were wonderful to listen to and the performers were perfect for the show and the teen demographic. The producers knew what they were doing and did a great job with it. I comment them for that half of the show...the other half, however...

And now, this years WINNERS:
Choice Summer Music Star: Female
Demi Lovato
Choice TV Actress: Drama
Lucy Hale, “Pretty Little Liars”
Candie’s Choice Style Icon
Zendaya
Choice TV Actress: Sci-Fi/Fantasy
Nina Dobrev-“The Vampire Diaries”
Choice Movie Actress: Action
Shailene Woodley-“Divergent”
Choice Summer TV Star: Male
Tyler Blackburn-“Pretty Little Liars”
Choice Break-Up Song
“Amnesia” -5 Seconds of Summer
Choice Movie Actor: Sci-Fi/Fantasy
Josh Hutcherson-“The Hunger Games: Catching Fire”
Choice TV Show: Drama
“Pretty Little Liars”
Choice TV: Reality Show
“Keeping Up With The Kardashians"--
Choice Movie Breakout Star
Ansel Elgort, “Divergent” and “The Fault in Our Stars”
Choice Movie Actor: Drama
Ansel Elgort-“The Fault in Our Stars”
Choice Female Country Artist
Taylor Swift--STILL?!
Choice Summer Song
“Really Don’t Care”-Demi Lovato featuring Cher Lloyd
Choice Movie: Drama
“The Fault in Our Stars”
Choice TV Reality Personality – Female
Cat Deeley-“So You Think You Can Dance”
Choice Twit
One Direction
Choice Movie Chemistry
Ansel Elgort, Nat Wolff and Shailene Woodley, “The Fault in Our Stars”
Choice Movie Liplock
Shailene Woodley and Ansel Elgort-“The Fault In Our Stars”
Choice Movie Scene Stealer
Nat Wolff-“The Fault In Our Stars”
Choice Web Star: Female
Bethany Mota
Choice Web Star: Male
Tyler Oakley
Choice TV Actress: Comedy
Lea Michele, “Glee”
Choice Movie Actor: Comedy
Kevin Hart-“Ride Along”
Choice Comedian
Kevin Hart
Choice Movie Villain
Donald Sutherland-“The Hunger Games: Catching Fire”
Olay Fresh Effects Breakout Star Award
Odeya Rush
Choice Viner
Cameron Dallas
Choice Web Star: Fashion/Beauty
Zoe Sugg (“Zoella”)
Choice Web Star: Comedy
Our2ndLife
Choice Web Star: Music
Shawn Mendes

Now that that's finally over, I can't wait for the Video Music Awards to come in 2 weeks. Of course, I'll have the review the next day, so see you then. Goodbye!!

#SLMR: Fancy

Hi everyone.
So I went to the Billboard Hot 100 chart to find dome songs to review, and surprisingly, there are some songs that have some staying power. Two songs I already reviewed (Dark Horse and Talk Dirty) are still making waves, staying in the Top 20, and some songs like Happy and All of Me staying in the Top 10 (with both peaking at #1).

But today, I'm gonna talk about the huge year this artist is having. She has become a popular artist last year gaining acclaim for her rhyming and content, has later toured with Beyonce on her tour, two videos for really dirty songs went viral, had two successful EPs produced by T.I., became a popular model, and, in 2012, became the first female and first non-American rap artist to be inducted into XXL Magazine's Top 10 Freshmen issue (that's right; Nicki Minaj didn't make the list first).
This artist really made it big, especially when her debut album The New Classic hit the top 5 in several countries worldwide. And, as said, she's not American.

Who is she? Iggy Azeala.
The song I'm reviewing-is one that's burning up the charts. It's on top at #1, and she had another ("Problem" by Ariana Grande) that was, on it's peak, just one slot lower at #2, and she's just the featured artist. Because of these songs, Iggy became only the fourth female rapper in history to have a song top the Hot 100, and she joins The Beatles as the ONLY acts to have the first two singles reach the top of the Hot 100.
DAMN. She should just retire right now.

It's "Fancy" by Iggy Azalea featuring Charli XCX.

We start with a slow beat that kinda reminds me of certain song, but I can't put my finger on it. Anyway, Iggy starts off with:
"First things first, I'm the realist"
--That's a pretty good start-up line. And even though it gets on my nerves when rappers say the word "real" in regards to them, I'll give a pass because the way she says it sounds really good.
"Drop this and let the whole world feel it (let them feel it)/And I'm still in the Murda Bizness
I could hold you down, like I'm givin' lessons in physics (right, right)"
--The "Murda Bizness" part is a nice little Call-Back to her earlier song of the same name featuring TI. It's about looking fly, being better than other women, and killing whoever's in your way. It's pretty good. As for the rest, I'm gonna skip because, as a black dude who should know what this means, I have no idea what this means.
"You should want a bad bitch like this (huh?)
Drop it low and pick it up just like this (yeah)
Cup of Ace, cup of (Grey) Goose, cup of Cris(tal)
High heels, somethin' worth a half a ticket on my wrist (on my wrist)
--Ehh... Okay, these lines are the usual talking about wanting a man to get with a woman like her (or a "bad bitch") And the usual mentioning of the expensive alcoholic beverages no one can buy unless there's a block party or club visit or whatever. I don't know what the hell "worth a half a ticket on my wrist" means, though.

By the way, I'm sorry, but doesn't she sound, like, almost like T.I.? Now, I know she worked with T.I. before, and she was raised in the South when so emigrated to the U.S. when she was 16. But come on, don't you hear the similarities between them? The thick Southern accent, the flow, the way the two of them I do.

Takin' all the liquor straight, never chase that (never)
Rooftop like we bringin' '88 back (what?)
--Nope. nothing.
Bring the hooks in, where the bass at?
Champagne spillin', you should taste that
Wow, I don't know anything from this. Maybe it's something Australian-related, if there actually is rap music from Australia at all, but my mind's drawing a blank on this one. Let's go to the chorus.
"I'm so fancy
You already know
I'm in the fast lane
From L.A. to Tokyo"
--Okay, first off, if I already know, why the hell do you feel the need to tell me?
And second, I like Chari's voice, but it also irritates me. Especially when she says "Fancy" and "Fast Lane"; stretching the end of the words just aggravates me.
"I'm so fancy
Can't you taste this gold?"
--I'm sorry, "taste this gold"? That ain't fancy; that ain't even sanitary.
"Remember my name
'Bout to blow"
--I barely remembered your name when "I Love It (I Don't Care)" came out.

Okay back to Iggy.
"I said, "Baby, I do this, I thought that you knew this."
Can't stand no haters and honest, the truth is"
--I'd know what you'd do, Iggy, if you'd tell me what the hell it is.
"And my flow retarded, each beat did depart it
Swagger on stupid, I can't shop in no department"
--I hate when artists use the word "retarded" to mean a crazy good beat, if not using the word at all, but hey, if it can be used in a positive way to not mean something cruel and degrading, I'm okay with it.
"To get my money on time, if they not money, decline
And swear I meant that there so much that they give that line a rewind
So get my money on time, if they not money, decline
I just can't worry 'bout no haters, gotta stay on my grind"
--To me, that "Line" is kinda bad, doesn't really deserve a "rewind", and doesn't make sense. But the way Iggy says it keeps it from being terrible. Speaking of terrible...
"Now tell me, who that, who that? That do that, do that?
Put that paper over all, I thought you knew that, knew that"
--There is nothing you tell me that I know of!! Also, this line makes no sense either; it's like someone who stutters wrote that. Well, if they actually have the mental capacity to write stuttering.
I be the I-G-G-Y, put my name in bold
I been working, I'm up in here with some change to throw"
I like this line. Sure, she's bragging, but it's a really cool line; way cool.

Okay, Charli's verse includes trashing a hotel room, getting drunk, riding on a chandelier, being a deluxe film star (of porn, probably), not giving fucks and overall getting what she wants. Things that are not at all fancy and that crazy, oversexed little sluts do.
Catchy, but stupid, please don't ever touch; OOWWW (repeat to oblivion and fade)

"Still Stuntin'/how you luv dat"
I could give less of a shit if you do actual stunts, Iggy.
"Got the whole world askin' how I does that"
--How you does that? First of all--oh forget it. I already lost half my brain from this. Moving on...
"That's jus the way you like it, huh/Feel so good, you could wish that you could bite it, huh"
--B-B-B-Bite? That molester talk, girl.
"Neva turn down nut-in/Slayin these hoes, gold trigga on tha gun like--"
Now, that's straight-up serial killer talk.

Okay, that's enough; this is the hardest song I've ever reviewed. I don't know much of Iggy's lyrics to make analysis on and barely came up with what you see here. Even if she's talking Australian-related content, there's nothing in this song that I haven't already heard of or is completely new to hip-hop. In fact, I'm very surprised that I'm drawing blanks at this one; almost all these lines either make no sense or something I've heard so much, it just comes across as lazy and foolish.

Okay, I kinda like this song, but the lyrics are catchy enough to make this song a success. Not to lyrically dissect and find anything unique or original. So, just listen to this without thinking. You'll stay smart and not lose brain cells.

See you next time for another review!

America's Got Talent Weekly Review: Ep. 1--Quarter Finals with Cheesiness-Part 1 Acts

Welcome to Maroon Mondays' weekly reviews of the Live Shows of America’s Got Talent. As with my reviews of Rising Star and So You Think You Can Dance, this review is (slightly) less professional than the those of the TV Show websites.

Hello, everyone. Welcome to the first review of America’s Got Talent's Live Shows of Season 9. Now, I wanted to do this because I wanted to do more of this reviewing stuff (which was fun, but I won’t give up the regular work and the Segments) and because I was giving on Rising Star. So I needed something better, and just in the Nick (heh; pun.) of time, this show came right in with its live shows. All the amazing variety of acts in different styles, competing for the love of America and winning $1,000,000 and a headlining show in Las Vegas. Couldn’t be any more fun to watch, right? Also because despite how lewd and gross he was in the 90s, Howard Stern is an awesome judge.
So let’s get it started.


First up on the first live show of the season, Sean & Luke. The two are tap dancers who’ve done so since they were toddlers and have done a quite impressive job since then. Now to the act, though. I thought they were really good, but I felt that they’re not great. The dancing was wonderful, but pretty basic. Plus, the ladies dancing with them and the lighting were a bit of a distraction. I did love the song playing in the background. This may have helped my perception of them a bet to their advantage. I do believe they can make it to next week, but not for the long run.


Up next, Valo & Bobby. A couple from Bulgaria, they are a strongman and acrobat stunt act. Immediately, the pressure and intensity were on high. During their act, Bobby holds a very tall metal bar with Valo in a circle on top. Almost immediately, I lost my breath.
Then she brought a BIKE. Intensity went to 11 and a half and I almost literally died. I prayed she wouldn’t fall, and thank goodness she didn’t. I did agree (a little) with Mel B. While she thought it was awful because she feared Bobby might drop Valo to her death, I thought it was awful because there was too little act to watch. I was impressed with the act, and hope they go through.


After that, Julia Goodman. Although she’s a soccer player by day, she's a singer by night and already impressed during the audition.
This week she sings “Iris” by the Goo Goo Dolls. Her voice is so beautiful; the low bars are amazing and the high notes were good. Although they were low, and I could barely hear her, and that’s with the volume up. Howard believes it wasn’t her best (probably because of nerves) and Mel feels she didn’t give it her all, despite looking stunning. I thought she did. She also does have grace and innocence, and I really like that.


After the 3-minute switch up, Baila Conmigo, a Latin dance troupe from West New York, NJ. Such a cute group of kids, they are. Their performance was amazing. Even with the strobe lights blocking the act, they were immensely amazing. And these are LITTLE KIDS doing these moves. Everyone put a lot of work into this dance, and it paid off in a great way. I loved it.
Mel, Howie and Heidi got excited at how fast the kids were and exasperated at how these dancers are kids. I find this one my Favorite Act of the Week.


Next, David and Leeman, a comedy and magic act. They’re basically doing what every other act did on this show. Perform a guessing game with the judges. First they take a picture of everyone and send it online. Then, they pull out the judges’ books, Howard’s Miss America, Heidi’s Heidilicious, Mel B’s Catch A Fire and Howie’s Don’t Touch Me. I won’t type in the rest because it’s tedious and boring, just like most of the act. It was boring and dragged. I was paying attention, but felt like wanting the two to pick up the pace. And the most laughter and amazement I got from this was the title of Howie's book. Seriously genius.


Next up, The Willis Clan. You can tell because of the name and their home life, they’re country mice of a family and a family singing group. They performed Huey Lewis and the News classic “The Power of Love”. Although I really liked it because of the song choice and their perfect harmonies and the wind instrumentation, it felt very low and quiet-like. Howie and Mel thought so, too. And Howard was rooting for them. On the side note, the kids dancing was super cute.


Later on, Flight Crew Jump Rope, a stunt crew involving...Jump Ropes. Their set also involves trampolines(!) and doing both at the same time(!!!). I thought it was really awesome. Their rope skills were stupendous, and doing the ‘trampoline and roping at the same time’ bit was every bit of perfect. They did not mess up nor disappoint.
Mel thought it was “OFF THE CHAAAAIIIINNNNN-UHH!!”


Next, Jasmine Flowers, an East-meets-West dance troupe. The whole entire performance was absolutely fantastic. The transitions, the techniques, the shapes and forms, the this and that. It was almost breathtaking. All of the group was amazing.
Mel went “Ah” (not in a good way) and called them “an acquired taste”, something not everyone would like, Heidi liked it, Howie enjoyed it, and Howard didn’t like this one as much as their previous performances. I don’t know about Mel’s opinion, but they were my perfect cup of Tea.


Emily West was next up to perform “Chandelier” by Sia. Emily has a perfect mix of Celine Dion and Shakira in her voice. I really liked that in her. Her arrangment was amazingly sultry and refreshingly sexy. Plus, she’s really hot for a middle-aged woman.
Everyone gave a standing ovation. Mel said “Wowzers!”, Howie called it the best performance of the night so far, Howard called it the best performer IN THE THREE YEARS HE’S BEEN A JUDGE, and Heidi loved it with no other words. I loved it too, so I also name Emily my Favorite Act of the Week.


Straight after, another strongman act, JD Anderson. At first we’re treated to him sushing in a tux, then rips it off and does his signature--breaking stuff with his body while looking like a reject from American Gladiators. He amazed me with that. Breaking baseball bats, cinder blocks and BLOCKS OF ICE while not bleeding (and he almost passed out from that) definitely deserves some love.


(This is the only video from the NBC-verified show YT channel.)
Dan Naturman. Another comedy act that acts more awkward and cringe-y than funny. He was funny, but wasn’t hilarious to me. He does have a funny-sounding voice, but is also irritating. He did have some good bits including the Canadian Prime Minister, Prevacid and the Health Care, but other than that, it was meh. Side-not, the song introducing him, "Baby Got Back", was inappropriate and corny.


Last but not least, the final act of the first live show of the season, Miguel Dakota. He sang The Beatles’ iconic “Come Together”. I love the vibe this one gives, like some Imagine Dragons-type performance, and it sounded like them too, especially the drum banging. His voice was also really good. He really made the song his own, something no one should successfully attempt with a Beatles song.
Mel and Heidi were feeling hot under the collar from this and Howie (@HowieMandel on Twitter) thought this could be a Million-dollar act. Howard, meanwhile, wasn’t impressed.

And now the first eliminations of the season.


Taking the spots in the the next round are:
Emily West
Dan Naturman
Miguel Dakota
David & Leeman
(Judges’ Choice) Baila Conmigo

Eliminated are:
Jasmine Flowers
Valo & Bobby
The Willis Clan
Sean & Luke
Julia Goodwin
JD Anderson
Flight Crew Jump Rope

I feel that with these choices that this is a really sad thing for me. I loved JF, JD and FCJR. They did so well to me, but it’s America’s decision and I must stick with it with the utmost respect and maturity. And yet, it still wasn’t fair!! I don’t like Dan Naturman, and David & Leeman are boring!! I’m so mad, really really mad!!!! But…
I must act like an adult, and finish the review.

Next week, the semi-finalists face off for out votes. Who will impress and shine? Who will crash and burn? And what tacky, flashy, pattern-y, Mariah-picked-it outfit will Nick wear next week? Find out this Tuesday, and tune in Next Thursday night for my review. And please tune in every Thursday at 9pm for my review of America’s Got Talent; I hope to see you guys then.
Goodnight for now!

Brian Williams' Daughter Allison Cast as Peter Pan in NBC Live Special; Many Cry Nepotism

Hey everyone.

Last year, NBC announced, after the astounding success of its first live televised musical special in decades, "The Sound of Music Live!", that it will air another live televised special in December, Peter Pan Live! (What the hell is up with the exclamation points?). Usually the title role in the Broadway musicals and TV specials are played by a woman; the most famous being Mary Martin, who won a Tony award for the musical and the hearts of millions (65 to be exact) in the NBC special in 1955, '56 and '65. This announcement left questions and wonder as to who will play the amazing boy wonder of Neverland. That is until now. Today, NBC made the announcement that Girls star Alison Williams will play the title role in the live special. She is also a classically-trained singer and has videos on YT that have millions of views each. Here's one of them below.
Damn, she's got pipes.

Oh yeah, she also happens to be the daughter of NBC Nightly News anchor and managing editor Brian Williams.
Soon after the news hit the web, people immediately threw the nepotism card because of the Peacock keeping it in the family for the role choice, writing bitingly hilarious comments about it, saying that she's Brian Williams' daughter and saying "Nepotism!" and crap. And there were a lot of them.
Here are some of the comments at this article on Deadline:
http://www.deadline.com/2014/07/allison-williams-cast-as-peter-pan-in-nbc-musical-peter-pan-live/#comments
And some at TVLine.com: http://tvline.com/2014/07/30/nbc-peter-pan-cast-allison-williams-girls/#commentform-536386

Hey, I don't blame the people for the accusations of nepotism. They have a really good point. Remember, Brian Williams IS her father, he does work at NBC News, and he may have put in a word in to for the producers to consider her. So, it does make sense to say so. But come on, people, the network execs didn't make the decision (they're probably too busy fixing it's messed up schedule); the show's producers did. Even if they they did, at least they made a great, smart choice! I don't care what the other people think or say and I don't find this a bad idea; she's a very talented actress. I admit, I don't watch Girls (I find it annoyingly overrated) but I've heard her name. And I have never heard her music before, but I regret that. This girl can sing! Just listen to her. Her voice sent shivers and chills to my spine (among other places), and it'll send some to yours, too. Here's some more examples:



Also this ultra-cute picture she later shared of her 3-year-old self dressed as Peter Pan is another great indication. Just look at the hair!


If she has an album out, I'd buy that in seconds, and if she's in anything else, I'll support it from the start. Whether it be comedy, drama, musical, hell, even sex tape--I support it. (okay, maybe not sex tape; she's better than this). She's just that talented. I wish her the best as Peter Pan, the producers for making this as fun, amazing (and safe) as possible, and NBC as much of the best in the world for catching lightning in a bottle for a second time. Only God knows how many people have watched it before the show airs, but everyone already has 3 million on lock.

I'd also want to point out that I always wonder why a woman always plays Peter Pan and not a dude, and why the producers of the original Broadway musical did this choice. I'd want to look further into that, but I'm too lazy to at this point.

Adorable, Innocent Daddy-Daughter Date Video Gets Stupid Outrage

Hey, guys. Take a look at this video I watched earlier today.
This video features a guy taking someone out on a date. And that someone...is his daughter. The video is called "The Best Date Ever" and was created by the guy, Aaron Dickson, who wanted to record the entire date with daughter Analynne. It's really cute with a nice dinner, a waiter, and the two playing in the park. The best part is when it all began when Daddy meets his date. You can really see how happy and excited she is, with beaming red cheeks and everything. Here's the video below, which was posted last month in time for Father's Day.

This video later went viral on YT, reaching almost 8 million views as of posting this. But, the reason for it's popularity isn't because of how cute it is...No, no, no. It's because of some people making comments about how disgusting it seems to be.

Some of these comments include "This is too creepy" and "Ewwww, on so many levels".
Umm...okay.
To the people who find the video disgusting: you find this purely innocent video of a Dad enjoying a date with his daughter the most disgusting thing ever, but you find rape, domestic abuse, incest, murder, cannibalism, necrophilia, and anything else sex- and violence-related on television and in music okay. You also find putting fake relationships of blood-related characters from television shows together (like some as found on TVTropes.org) cute,
including one between a twin brother and sister.

Yeah. Let that sink in for a minute.

If you think that video is sick and wrong on so many levels, YOU must be even more wrong for putting two members of the same family together for the sake of liking some scenes between the two people. Don't give me the argument that it's all fake and just for fun, or that we like these characters a lot, or that they just make the show they're even better. So what? It's still proving my point. Just because they say things in some way that aroused you, that disgusts me. Sure, the word "Date" is used, and that made me a little creeps out too, but that's the only downside.

If the dad was a war hero, we all wouldn't find the video gross; we'd praise the dad for all his service to the country, say that the daughter is really adorable and say that this is the cutest video we've ever saw. And if any of us had still called the video gross, we'd all be called terrorists or un-American immediately. But because not much is known about the dad or how the date came into plan, the people who commented find this disgusting.

Now, I'm not gonna force you all to change your minds for the sake of righting things; we'll all entitled to our own opinions. But I'm just saying, if you want to ship a brother and sister, or a cousin and cousin, or a father and daughter, then whatever. But also saying that a cute, sweet, adorable video of a father and his daughter spending the day together is creepy and gross really puts how creepy and gross you are into the spotlight.

Oh, humanity, how I give up on you.

Sam & Cat-roversy Part Dice: Suddenly Cancelled

Well, everyone?
The news that we already knew would happen for the last few months, has happened. Nickelodeon's hugely popular sitcom Sam a& Cat has been cancelled after one season. And to be honest, I'm not all that surprised. First off, giving a show a FORTY-episode season is definitely gonna put a strain on everybody, especially without a hiatus in between everything. Second, it had to happen because Ariana Grande now has a huge music career. Almost all of her singles are hugely popular on the charts and on the Internet. third, those sexy lingerie photos that were leaked.
And fourth, the rampant rumors circulating between the two main stars, like the one about Jen and Ari getting into problems, the one where Jen is pissed that Ari has a bigger paycheck than her, and the one where Jen had problems with, all of which which were vehemently denied. So basically, this production has been a troubled one after the first taping.

Oh, what the heck? It's 1 Season Wonder Time!!

Sam & Cat is created by Nickelodeon ratings powerhouse Dan Schneider. It's about

Okay, Sam & Cat were both annoying in their own ways.
Sam is still the cold-hearted bitch we all knew and liked from iCarly, and Cat is still the scatter-brained nutcase from Victorious (who of course, didn't start that way; she was dim but had some common sense.) Cat's voice is seriously beyond grating; every time she speaks, it hurts my ears, especially when I watch on a PC with headphones on. It's the vocal equivalent to someone scratching a chalkboard.
And Sam is back to her old ways, and it is just annoying. The worse offenders are #PeezyB (where she coldly brushes off Cat to hang out with a dickhead rapper, and give a fucking girl to two grown fucking men when they go to fucking Mexico!!) and #Twinfection (where she forces her twin sister to help do a dirty deed involving a stupid "disease" and scaring Cat).
To quote her from an episode of iCarly:

Mama doesn't play to get even. Mama plays to win.

The fact that this show exists with these two complete opposites was puzzling, but a smart move because of how popular it was younger viewers.

Now, the other characters I have a better time with.
Dice is a pretty cool straight man to the two. He's funny in his own accord, is pretty to cool to see, and isn't really dull. His peddling scenes are strange (Which is predictable considering it's Schneider's forte) but are pretty funny
Nona is not your typical Schneider-verse elderly character. She sweet, caring, lovely, and her stories of her past are hilarious (and questionable) and she isn't frustratingly annoying or senile, like the many old people Schneider has featured in his shows. In fact, Nona might as well be my favorite character.
And yes, I enjoy even Goomer, too. Yes, he's stupid, but he provides a lot of laughs, more than Cat. He does have some bright spots: In #BlueDogSoda, he knew how to make a carbon copy of the episode's titular soft drink in order to start an underground business thanks to the sody-pop being banned by the CFC. Also, in #RevengeoftheBritBrats, he figured out the evil Gwen and Ruby's plan to sever Sam and Cat's friendship without difficulty...despite the fact that he barely knew who they are, since he didn't appear in (hashtag)TheBritBrats. Anyway, Goomer is more funnier to me because -- and Zoran Korch's delivery. He can make me laugh more than be annoyed.

This show had some funny moments. But the taste in humor that Dan Schneider has does not work out for me in the long run.

Now to some serious talk: Nickelodeon, it's all your damn fault!! If you hadn't cancelled Victorious (which was your highest rated show at the time, mind you) we could've gotten some more episodes. The 60-episode limit is old, outdated and weak, especially after iCarly ended and since SpongeBob is still on the air. I really like this show; the characters are really fleshed-out, the music is great and the actresses have better voices than Miley Cyrus and Selena Gomez. So it's not fair this show cancelled when it got better. I refuse to watch anything else on this network that is live-action anymore; they really suck.

Anyway, goodbye to Sam & Cat. You have become The Monkees of live-action television shows. 2013-2014

"Clarence" Creator Fired at CN Studios for Being a Perv

Hey everyone.

Okay, there's this show on Cartoon Network called Clarence. It's about this happy, excited and sweet little guy named--well, Clarence. The series created by Skyler Page, features Clarence's daily adventures with his friends and his mother.
He is voiced by series creator Skyler Page. The reason I'm saying this is because Page has been accused of sexual assault by many female co-workers at Cartoon Network Studios. Because of these allegations, Page has been forced out at CNS, leaving his show in limbo and the voice of the character he created silent.

The details are found in this exclusive article at CartoonBrew.com:


Okay. This one is a little serious for me and I apologize if I go a little Helen Lovejoy, but this is how I feel about it.
This news just came out of nowhere these past few days, after I began to enjoy the show, even though I haven’t watched in weeks. There were posts of disgust from people on Twitter and all have been retweeted by one of my personal followers. You know what? I'll tell you this first. I hear this all the time in music, and any time I hear of cases of sexual assault in the real world, I get two scenarios:
1) I shouldn't be surprised because men can be total pigs sometimes.
2) Whoever is accused of these crimes should be arrested if these are true.

But with all of these allegations popping up, stories of past contacts of Page said by those who claim it happened, and tweets of said allegations, calling Page "a piece of shit", and hope this never happens in the future, I believe that Page has a lot of explaining to do. I don't like people who are sexually aggressive and/or abusive to others. Using woman as just sexual objects is wrong. Just because they have vaginas and tits, doesn't mean you can use those things. Women have many other talents. Men thinking women belong on Earth to freak and breed children are disgusting creatures and bigamists.
Also, from what I heard, using a mental illness as a cover-up for these sexual assault escapades is not only wrong, but makes things even worse. And this revelation makes me downright pissed, because as a person who has a mental illness, feel very disgusted and insulted! And because of this, even if he has one, I have reached a level of disgust with this dude. Just because you have a mental illness, you shouldn't use it to your advantage. People will not judge you that way, especially after the horrible rash of shooting in this country these past decade. The killers had mental illnesses!!

I hope this dude gets some help, because this is no laughing matter. And I've watched his show Clarence. It's a really good and very enjoyable show, and I really enjoy the antics of the title character, which so happens to be voiced by Page himself. And now, after this, I can never watch Clarence the same anymore, especially because Page voices him.
Also, I want to give major props to the women who publically spoke about the assaults he committed on them. It takes guts and bravery to stand up to the attacker and open up about it, especially these days with social media. Although going to social media instead of going to the police was not a good move. Telling potentially hundreds of thousands of strangers about your personal life first, instead of law enforcement, isn't going to do you any good. I am very proud of the women who want this fucking guy away from them as possible. And the people who used to work with him, but quit because of his assholish behavior should be applauded too. Especially Patrick Harpin, former Head of Story of Clarence and close friend of Page. He wrote this personal post on his tumblr page:


This is one reason I'm--disgusted, to say the least--that I am a man.
Also, Cartoon network has a lot of money to spend now that an ad for Clarence has popped up. Talk about poor timing, if you know what I'm CN.