Saturday Night Live 40 Review: James Franco & Nicki Minaj

Hey everyone, welcome back to my weekly review of Saturday Night Live 40.
After my admittedly lacking review 2 weeks ago, I promised to do better with my approach to my thoughts on the sketches, musical performances and Update edition. So what better show do I start with than this one hosted by James Franco with musical guest...Nicki Minaj. (Oh God, I need a drink just typing that. And that was on Monday the 1st.)

We start with the Cold Open, which is….another one about politics. (sigh) This time spoofing MSNBC's PoliticsNation with Al Sharpton’s coverage of the Grand Jury decisions after the deaths of Eric Garner and Michael Brown.

Kenan Thompson (with the voice working in his favor this time, sounding close to him) was great as Sharpton, mocking his voice, speech mannerisms that make words sound different when old people say them, the fact that he is bigger than Sarpton today & made an aside about gaining weight, his indifference with everyone and interruptions of guests. Bobby Moynihan and Jay Pharaoh were also good as Sharpton's guests Civil Right Lawyer Lawrence Tatum and Peter DiNello of the Patrolmen’s Benevolent Association, although Jay's jokes were from Tatum's interruption by Sharpton. All in all, pretty good start to what happened to be a really middling show.

After "LFNYIST!" and the title sequence, James walks to the stage for his monologue, presenting himself as actor, poet, and dude, and mentions his new film "The Interview" from Sony, which was hacked last week, with some of its films leaked on the Internet by said hackers. He of course mocked this incident by pointing out that personal information about him wasn't leaked, so he decided to leak them himself before other could do so.

(Just so you know, the email address is fake)
And of course, his "Interview" Seth Rogen makes the obligatory co-star cameo to mention some...questionable photos they took together has been leaked from their phones. All of them either half-naked or full-frontal. He also mentions the incident involving photos he took of a young girl on his Instagram account earlier this year. Seems like a good sport to mock his troubles.
(After the mono, a promo for The Interview aired, featuring [guess who] Nicki Minaj as a guest on the show-within-a-a-film . Which explains why she’s the musical guest.)


The Sketch After the monolouge just had to mock the network’s telecast of Peter Pan Live (no exclamation point; I hate that) with Cecily Strong playing Alison Williams in her portrayal as The Boy Who Never Grew Up (mentioning how boyish his female-like self is and some show called Girls), and just as perfectly coincidental, while Tinkerbell is out of town (?), popular recurring character Tonkerbell (Tink's half-sister) returns. Her (played by Aidy Bryant) appearance (mentioning she jacks children's money for her own teeth and likes a guy who drowns kids) just made it 30% better. And James Franco mocking Christopher Walken’s performance as Captain Hook (basically how dull it was and his boring mannerisms) made it another 33% better. Also, Kate McKinnon, Beck Bennett and Kyle Mooney as the Darling children, the weak-ass fight and Moyni as the Bat from some movie made it all come together in a nicely-wrapped package of odd, delicious and way better than the real thing.
This was just fucking GENIUS! I applaud the writes and producers for working such a sketch in so quickly.

Just like I found this spoof on the new Star Wars Episode VII trailer genius. The spoof features a mock of the first Black Storm-trooper, how old the characters look and act (because the three human cast members from the original films are older and have their own grandchildren) and question the droid that looks ready for the FIFA World Cup. Even though this seems like any parody video on YouTube mocking all this, it's still funny. (I will point out the font for The Force Awakens looks old too). Although I saw an obvious screw-up with graphic, as I saw a green screen behind Kenan's character spoof (X tape spot and all).


Next sketch, MTV is “airing” a special program as part of its Jingle Ballerz special, Hip-Hop Nativity, a modern-day reenactment the birth of Jesus Christ, hosted by "Drunk or High" host KaTyler Smith (Pete Davidson) and including some of today’s hottest musical acts.

The casting was just perfect: Kate Mc as Justin Bieber (always a crowd pleaser), Taran Killam as Eminem, Franco as Riff Raff (who?), Kenan as Rick Ross, The Pharaoh as Kanye West playing Yeezus Christ (I will not refer to him as Jesus), Nicki Minaj as Beyonce and Sasheer Zamata as Rihanna. She sounds like Riri if she had a head cold and looks close to her if she had severe sunburn). All in all, while execution was really good, the idea was great, and would’ve been better if the network airing this wasn’t MTV, since it barely airs anything music-based anymore, but enough about that.

Grow-A-Guy

Straight after, a strange pre-taped sketch by writer-turned-featured-player-turned-writer-again Mike O’Brien about friends at a lake house bonfire joking around. Then a guy named Flint (Beck Benn) tells Trevor (O’Brien) something personal about him (Flint) and the group being his only friends, with Trevor replying that he does have others. And sets to prove him wrong...artificially creating and growing a human being (played by Franco) to be his "other friend".
This one was pretty corny...and very gross. The human-making process was really disgusting, the end where everyone but Trevor explodes gave me a small heart attack, and things they say weren’t very funny (sure, it’s the point, but still). Flint is a fucking jerk (and hypocrite when he explodes). Also, the shout-Outs to Guardians of the Galaxy were kinda dated, especially after the ones made back in the first episode hosted by Chris Pratt. This was one of the strange-but-funny bits we’ve been seeing this and last season, and I usually enjoy them, but this one is one of the ones I can definitely do without. For sure.
#TheHastagCuriousityJokeWasKindaFunnyThough

Magic Bridge/Troll
Soon after, a young couple (Baby Aidy & KyMoo) try to cross a bridge in the woods but are stopped by a troll who lives under it (Franco)

and his...chain-smoking, low-rent buddy (CecStrong).
This involves a lot of kissing (but not from the female) and cheering from the audience. I laughed more from the Dora the Explorer joke I made than from this sketch, and I won't explain more because it was questionably bad.

Here's the version that was taped during Dress Rehearsal. I don't know why this was chosen for the Live Show in the first place.

Sketch after Update takes place inside Pete’s Brain: because he has so many memories in there, he tries to remove them to make room for another via a specialist (Franco). My favorite parts were some of the memories themselves: including TKill as a song, Baby Aidy as the word Rhombus and Jay as Fresh Prince of Bel-Air era Will Smith and Moyni as Judge Lance Ito from the OJ Simpson Trial. This sketch was mixed (more good than bad), and would gotten worse had Nicki Minaj’s involvement in this one got longer. But I learned to move past it.

(Unfortunately, no clip available. Blame YT and Yahoo)

No offence to a certain follower on Twitter who really likes Nicki Minaj (who would probably unfollow me soon after posting), but Nicki’s involvement in sketches really annoyed me. She only appeared in two, and already they were enough to make me grind my teeth in anger.

Like that.

Kid Mayor is about a kid named Tommy, who is the mayor of the small town of Aldridge, Minnesota. Everyone is ecstatic and pleased with this result thanks to Tommy's cute face, cheerful dispostion and the fact that he's still barely an infant, Yet, someone else isn't pleased or ecstatic about it--his competition Tad Rankin, a grown man (obviously) who faced against Tommy in the election, and made a political ad whining about losing to a 4-year-old.

Franco's enthusiasm and wide-eyed manic behavior made this sketch work. His anger toward a four-year-old boy doing certain things (like watching Frozen, sleeping early and soiling a pair of pants) that are cute when Tommy does them and weird when he does them was hilarious. I think this was my second favorite after "Peter Pan Live spoof".

Former Porn Stars
In the Ten-to-One Sketch (Technically, Five-to-One, since it aired five minutes to 1AM...or maybe Dive-to-One, heh-heh...pun), the Former Porn Stars make their return to horn--I mean form. This time, Brecky and (idiot with unknown name) are spokes-sluts of of a yacht company called Sunseeker Yachts. They explain the enjoyment of being on a yacht but wind up mentioning getting past banged or squirted in different ways

Sure, this sketch is really formulaic, but like Phineas and Ferb, the jokes are different and land almost every time. They’ll all sick sex jokes, but that’s the point of these two cum-brained knob-slobs. They’re just genius. Seth Rogen (aka James Franco) comes back to help out and make this sketch even more cringeworthy (aka funnier).

And speaking of funnier, here is a sketch that didn't make it to the Live Show, but was gracefully released on its YT channel. Called "Morning News", it's a report on the news like it's done on any TV station in America. Two anchors (here played by CesStrong & Kenan) act breezy and calm while reading the news, like nothing bad happens. Then came the Ferguson Grand Jury decision and riots...and everything's screwed.
(LesJo appears as traffic reporter Trisha Darby and Franco appears as a guest chef with an...unfortunate name)

This is commentary of race and tension in America based on the riots...and is funny too. Why was this cut while the damn troll skit was added? I don't know if Lorne was afraid people would get offended by this (coming from a guy that created a show that started off offensive) or might find it unfunny, or both, but had this sketch been added, I'd take being offended over being bored. This sketch toes the line between funny and controversial (with a touch of awkward), and ends up both bold as hell and funny as fuck. This was a bold thing to do and paid off on the Internet. People LIKE this, and would've been one of the best sketches of the week, had it been chosen for the show, and not the FUCKING STUPID TROLL SKIT!!!

Nicki Minaj is is the musical guest this week, so I had about two weeks to mentally and psychologically prepare for what would entail on screen (and be defiled on stage). Of course, Nicki would usually shake her ass a lot, as that's in her DNA, and her voice would be a high-pitched audio equivalent to cats screeching in heat, so that's what I'm used to. I was sure she would perform two of the three recent songs she released: Pills N Potions, Anaconda and Only. And I was correct in that the song she wouldn't perform would be PNP...but I was surprised it wouldn't be Anaconda either (although half-wrong is the word, because she would perform part of it in the Brain sketch).
Instead, Nicki performed a new song called “Bed of Lies“ featuring Skyler Grey. It’s...actually good. I actually like the sound and rhymes from this set. It’s very nice, at least.

As for her second performance, it was what I feared. It was “Only”. Now, it was boring, mostly because of the beat. And her lines were corny, especially those about duct tape. I swear I heard some boos in the audience...okay, they were in my head. But still, corny. Thank Goodness, it was short, as this turned into a medley, which got better for me. The song is “All Things Go”, a very serious and powerful song detailing Minaj's life before becoming a rapper, including having an abortion when she was 16, and being proposed marriage at a young age. This one sounded better beat-wise, and her vocals and raps were really good. This song is pretty much my fave from her lastest album. And I’ll take mid-tempo hip-hop over dull pings and bass any day.

Also the set background is really nice. Looks like a New York subway like previously (more the walls of Grand Central Station).
She did have a lot going for her. She is smoking hot, fake ass or no. And she was on point with her spitting, so I won’t fault her technically. 2/3rds of the songs she performed were really good, and I praise her for not doing the ones I hated. So all in all, mixed. Loved "BoL", could care less for "Only", and really loved "ATG". She exceeded my expectations and that made me happy. Well done, Nicki. Well dome.

Update time:
Jost and Che were...actually enjoyable. Even though some of the jokes weren’t. In fact, the parts were more serious and biting than funny. And somehow, I like it. It’s very different, very positive and just what this duo needs to make their Update era to move forward. If they can do it more in a baby steps fashion, they can last a few more seasons in a more positive direction.

Moyni returned as Second-hand News Correspondent Anthony Crispino. Although he wasn’t as very popular as Kate Mc’s Angela Merkel, CesStrong’s Girl You Wish You Hadn't Started a Conversation With at a Party and Moyni’s own Drunk Uncle, I like Crispino as an alternative who can hold his own in a bit and still make me laugh. His jokes and timing were really good and has become a favorite of mine (yes, more than Druncle Stan for sure, whom I see as funny, but also a little overrated).

Leslie Jones just can’t stop being funny. This time talking about marijuana legalization and how this accounts to users visiting dating sites and not to African Americans. Seriously, I know her humor isn’t for everyone, but it is a lot of everyone, which was why she was promoted to featured so quickly. I just love her so much and want her to appear again soon. (But not too soon, I don't wanna be annoyed).
And this line "Have you ever been called a bitch...by Harriet Tubman?" just kills me every time.
Although she could tone down her creepy flirty passes at Jost a bit. It's a little unsettling.

Kim Kardashian showed up to talk about her ass in an issue (no, THE issue, he says sarcastic as fuck) of Paper magazine. She shows those photos of her in some places for comparison. Who gives a fuck? This shit needs to stop. Taking about Kim Kardashian and her ass in that God-awful photo shoot needs to stop. I'd rather hear about anything else other than this crap. Fuck, I'd rather listen about the life of Adoph Hitler set to the music of Insane Clown Posse rather than this! And the fact that she's played by Nicki Minaj (who herself has an ass that men also gawk and cream about) just makes this more bad (not to mention her annoying-as-shit voice making it worse). And I won't get into anymore crap about how they don't look or sound alike, because I wanna remove the memories like Pete did earlier.

Favorite Update Bits:
Eric Garner
Snapple Cap
Detroit Power Outage
Girl Scout Prison Cookies
Leslie Jones
Black Peter

Top Three Sketches:
Peter Pan Live Spoof
Kid Mayor Rebuttal Ad
MTV's Jingle Ballerz/Hip-Hop Nativity

Worst Sketches:
Magic Bridge/Troll
Grow-A-Guy (*shiver*)

And that is it for the review this week. I think James Franco was a really good host. A few of the sketches were really weak, but the ones I liked really shined for me, and Franco was great in them all. And Nicki Minaj surprised the hell out of me by being better than I thought. Not that I hoped she'd be bad or that I hate her personally, but she was better than I thought. Well done to both, and the cast for making a better episode this week. The guys did really good, but Girl power was in force with all the better stuff coming from the ladies, especially Baby Aidy, CesStrong and Nessa B. Great job, ladies!!
And congrats to Mike O'Brien for coming out of the hole that is the writers' room to appear in a sketch this week. Just...don't creep us out next time.

Next week, The Hobbit and Sherlock star Martin Freeman hosts SNL for the first time, with music from another first-timer, Charli XCX. You know, (I Don't Care) I love It, Fancy and Boom Clap? No?? Good. See you then! Goodnight!

1 Season Wonder: Freaks and Geeks

Welcome to 1 Season Wonder, a segment of Maroon Mondays. And you know what that means. At least I think you do...
I scour across the Internet and find TV shows with only 1 season, watch them, see if I enjoyed them, talk about them here and put them in a list of 1-Season Wonders. It sounds easy as it looks, right? No, you actually have to find these shows, watch through them hoping they're not as painful as they were the first time, and debate with yourself to see if it makes the list. If that sounds challenging and you want it that way, then let's do it.

In a world where low-minded jocks rule the hallways of high school, where goofy-looking nerds rule the study halls and libraries, where the adults can't be any more smothering and clueless about their kids and kids in general, and the music that truly defined a decade and generation, you get one of the most critically-acclaimed, well-beloved and questionably-short series of the 90s...and also probably of all time. It's Freaks and Geeks.



Created by Paul Feig and premiering on NBC on September 25, 1999, Freaks and Geeks explores the the students, cliques, and behaviors within William McKinley High School in Chippewa, Michigan. Lindsay Weir is a "freak", an academic prodigy, a mathlete, and all-around nobody. She and her brother Sam, a "geek" with a love of Star Wars, LARPing, and algebra, move up to High School and face new challenges in their lives. For Lindsay, it's a new discovery in herself, including wearing a rad-ass army jacket and hanging with some strange, yet really cool beans friends aka the "freaks". And for Sam, it means bullies, bullies, new study groups and chess tournaments...and bullies.
But in that one year, they both find change in their daily minutae. Lindsay makes new friends in Daniel Desario, Ken Miller, Nick Andopolis and Kim Kelly, also "Freaks"; while Sam makes some in Neal Scheiber and Bill Haverchuck, also "geeks". This new rag-tag group of friends go through school, life and the troubles and tribulations that real-life teenagers would face in the 80s...and this series did it well.

This show was--well, awesome. And all the characters are awesome. They all have their own brand of humility and humor that some other shows of the era don't have...and they were not even in their 30s...yet. (Almost all of them were either in their 20s or a little older than their characters at the time of production [and some show it], with John Francis Daly being the exception, but still) They all weren't one-dimensional, boring or shitty. They were very complex, close-to-real-life and were likable. Lindsay and Sam are smart, but she doesn't bring any nerdy stereotypes to the table, and Sam does brought the ones that weren't exaggerated or blown up for the gags. Plus, the Freaks were like normal people, just different from what we thought were different; they think and act differently. And they were cool for it. Not many series could have a group of characters like this.

Wow, this series had it all about the 80s: the fashions, the attitudes, the hair. As much of the 80s as possible is thrown into this series, and it was done really well. Hey, it's Judd Apatow; the dude's a producing genius. Also, the use of Joan Jett's "Bad Reputation" as the theme song was freaking rad. In fact, the use of many songs of the 80s is freaking rad. Although it cost the show's budget greatly, it worked well in the producers' favor, and, along with sharp writing and acting, would help create some of its' memorable scenes. Like this one.

And speaking of said scenes, my God, were they filled to the brim with awkwardness. Many of them were either hilarious or heartwarming with a touch of hilarious in them. But of course, it it had some awkward in them, and that's what made them (and this series) memorable. I feel very sorry for the producers because they had a cultural touchstone on their hands, but NBC cancelled it just when it got better. A start in a time slot on Saturday did not help (although, at the time, it was a night that was programmed like the others), and a move to a night where Who Wants to Be a Millionaire was the fucking king of TV made things worse. After said cancellation, three episodes didn't air, so they (along with the rest of the show) would air on the network that later become known as ABC Family. That still wouldn't satisfy the fans (or the producers).

Even 15+ years later, everyone's still riled up about it's cancellation. Judd Apatow is still pissed about it. Just last month, Seth Rogen ran into a former NBC exec to complain about it. Here's an idea: How about making a revival?!?
Revivals have been huge this decade: From Reading Rainbow to now-cancelled Dallas, the shows that everyone loved from years past have come back in full force and has gained many fans. So why not do one for Freaks and Geeks?? Sure, the cast has grown up and has gone to different endeavors, but the show isn't called Freaks and Geeks in High School! Have the characters shown 35+ years after high school and into their own accords. Show them in that setting and that'll satisfy everyone.
I don't blame the producers for being angry about the show's death. NBC shuffled the show around the schedule, barely promotes it, and aired the episode out of order, causing the continuity to end up out of whack. So I see why they're still peeved after all these years.
But they do have a right to be peeved after all. This show is so damn good, brilliantly written, amazingly cast and wonderfully produced. This is one of the best shows of the 90s. As great as Friends, Seinfeld, . This show will live in fame...(insert famous quote here).

All episodes are available on YT and Netflix, with reruns airing on IFC and FXX.
Favorite Characters: All of them.

No words can describe how much I love each and every one of these main characters
Favorite Episode: Pilot--which started everything and looked, sounded and felt like a great pilot in the process.

Well, there it is, Freaks and Geeks, the ninth edition of the 1 Season Wonder segment, added to the list of 1 Season Wonders--because it just had to, and this show is too good not to be. This show is on of the best short-lives TV series in history for a reason. And I'm just glad it exists for all of us to watch, enjoy, love and have close in our conscience. And it's all deserved.

Thank you for joining me for this edition. Tune in next month for another edition of 1 Season Wonder involving another classic series that was criminally AND undeservedly short-loved lived. Also it's one show Sheldon Cooper is still crushed up about.

See you then!!

#201: Saturday Night Live 40 Review: Cameron Diaz & Mark Ronson and Bruno Mars

Hello, everyone. Andrew here, welcoming you to the first review of Saturday Night Live 40. This season has been...well...mixed, to be honest. The episodes hosted by Chris Pratt, with musical guest Ariana Grande,

former cast member Bill Hader, with Hozier,

and Jim Carrey (although Iggy Azalea was really bad)

were freaking awesome,

the one by Sarah Silverman & Maroon 5 was mixed (and would've been worse had their performance of "Animals" (a song I hate) been terrible [but it was really good].)
and the one by Chris Rock

was horrible, with the saving graces being the monologue and the supawemazballs mega-performance by Prince.

I then checked out the ep hosted by Woody Harrelson, and I thought "hey, that was funny!! I see they've gotten their groove back. Maybe this season won't be that bad."
Then I checked out this week's show hosted by Cameron Diaz, and THEN I thought '...maybe I'll need to check out a few episodes".

Some of the sketches aren't shown here because their videos on YouTube are blocked...in this country. I'm not even gonna.

We start off with the Cold open...which is a "new episode" of Schoolhouse Rock. (Look, if you wanna make it look that, at least use some old ABC bumpers from the 70s to make it more believable.) This features a twist on the classic "I'm Just A Bill" with Kyle Mooney as a kid wanting to learn about the government, and getting some info from a Bill, played by Kenan Thompson (who, at this point, can play any character and still does it in the same voice; and that's not a good thing). The Bill explains how an order goes into law, and then gets pushed down the stairs by President Obama, who shows the boy a new bill called Executive Action which gets Obama to create his own bill on any issue he feels must be dealt with, and immediately puts that to law.

Obama acts like a jerk to Bill here (although that's the point); Bill is an idiot for continually coming up the stairs, only to get knocked off them by Obama; and Bobby Moynihan's portrayal of Executive Action was a little dull, but still got the job done.
This CO is really good; I commend the writers for putting a humorous spin on Obama turning "Evil" and pretty much saying "Hey, I'm the president, and I can do whatever I want, no matter how many Republicans stand in my way" and it works. Jay did great as Obama, with Kenan and Bobby also doing great as Bill and Executive Action, pretty much proving
I do hope the show would do one that has nothing to do with politics; I don't care if it's bad, just without Bronco Bama every goddamn week.

After "LFNYISN" and the title sequence (which I will say is one of the show's best ever, with its use of NYC as a backdrop, retro vibe and the technique which graphics move along with the video in real-time, this one has everything that's awesome), Cameron comes to stage for her monologue, which involves her not wanting questions from the audience. Yet she gets them anyway in another edition of "Host Gets Asked Questions from 'Audience Members'", but they weren't even questions.

Also,

The sketch after takes place at a high school play, in which students act out the contemporaries of Thanksgiving.

This sketch sucks. I don't know if it was supposed to be that way, but even then, it falls flat. I had a better enjoying the reactions of the two people in the audience (played by Kenan and Vanessa) WHO CLEARLY AREN'T ENJOYING THE PLAY like I did.

The next sketch "New Annie" is just a meta parody of the second (yes, second) remake of Annie, with Leslie Jones as New Annie, Jay Pharoah as Jamie Foxx, Diaz as her character Ms. Hannigan...and Vanessa Bayer as Annie. ?

This makes little sense to me. I don't know why there was a white Annie in this one, when this is supposed to mock the new(est) Annie. At first watch, I hoped the writers and producers know what this film was about before the skit was made, and thank God they did, but still. Leslie was a riot as new, black Annie, Jay was great as Jamie Foxx and Diaz was pretty good, but forced as her portrayal as her character Ms. Hannigan.
On the down side, Vanessa's portrayal as white Annie (especially with the voice) was irritating. I know that's the point, but I watched the original Annie many times; she was NOT like this all the time. The ending with Kenan make the skit palpable, but not entirely great.

In a taped bit, the ladies of SNL (along with Cameron) bring it on home (literally to their parents' homes) for Thanksgiving with "Back Home Ballers".

It's no "(Do It On My) Twin Bed", but it's still drop-dead funny. Especially when Leslie comes in And Lil' Baby Aidy just brings it every time.

In another sketch "Office Boss", a couple (played by Kenan and Shasheer Zamata) visit the man's boss and his wife (Diaz) for a dinner date. The wife is telling them a story of how she and the boss met, and straight after asks her husband to come downstairs. It's Office Boss Baby (played by Beck Benett), a man who has the intelligence and money of a CEO but pretty much has something like Down's Syndrome.

The man is pretty much kissing his ass to become CFO of his company, and sits through what has to be one of the saddest nights of his life. I'd either stay where I was or quit so that I don't have to deal with this crap.

You know when I watched this, I thought of the implications that their marriage has. Including:
--Do these two have sex? Because that's sick.
--What the hell was she thinking when she met him??
--Is the man really that desperate for a promotion, that he and his wife had to sit down through this dreck?
--God I feel like dying.
At least one of those was answered when Boss Baby's wife reveals that they're having a(nother) baby.

At this point, it made me lose faith in humanity.
The first half of the skit was funny, especially when Boss Baby dropped in. When wifey fed him baby food, I stopped laughing. Beck plays him really well, and want to see him more soon.

Later on, a skit involving Kenan as a nature show host with his co-host, a monkey named Buggles. This is not cute. At all.

This sketch made me want to vomit, and I was sick with severe allergies last night barely pulling on through this and the edition of SNL Vintage, so I was hoping for that. The whole thing is just "Hey, my monkey co-host ripped my dick and nuts clean off". I don't know who the fuck would find this funny, but I didn't, the audience didn't, and I'm sure almost 85% of viewers didn't either. This is definitely the Worst Sketch of the Week.
After this, I asked my sister to change the channel, because I just couldn't watch any more of this. I found better entertainment from Burns & Allen, The Patty Duke Show and Alfred Hitchcock Presents on Antenna TV.

I missed a few more sketches, and the second performance by Ronson and Mars. And for good reason.

As for Ronson & Mars, they shut the stage down. The performance of "Uptown Funk" was absolutely amazing. And the set looked electrifying (literally, there were enough lights to blow up the electric bill).

I don't know if the writers planned on making this ep sickening and make the viewers vomit before Thanksgiving dinner, but if that was their plan, I can understand that, but I feel they've done it a bit too hard this time. The sketches were nauseating, not really hilarious and made me want to pray to God to keep me from killing people. This episode was terrible. Almost all the sketches were either not funny or grotesque (and in a couple cases, BOTH).

The Saving Graces this week were the CO and Ronson and Mars' performance.

I really need to watch the show in 2 weeks so that I need to end my watching SNL ends on a better note. I can't not do this, and it will kill me.

And that's it for my first review, and I hope you guys enjoyed it more than I enjoyd the show. I know we all have different tastes in humor, but this show wasn't good for me. Tune in on December 7 for my review of Episode 8, hosted by James Franco, with musical guest Nicki Minaj (dear God, this may get worse).

See you then!!

200th POST EVER!!: I Love Over The Garden Wall (my thoughts on the series)

Hey, everyone. You know...
I've never been more excited for a series with less than 20 episodes total in my life than I have with Over The Garden Wall.

Over The Garden Wall is a mini-series (the first for Cartoon Network) created by Patrick McHale, about a young man named Wirt and his little brother Greg going on an adventure like never before. Wirt is a shy teenager with a lov of self-indulgent poetry and clarinet, and Greg is a happy-go-lucky kid with a wonderful dispostition and can-do attitude. The two end up lost; Wirt freaks out, and Greg is busy wondering of a name for the pet frog he kept. And in this story is a completely different world beyond imagination. There, they face questionable tactics, evil figures and--that makes their brotherly bond, and Wirt's new-found confidence, aalong with undying love for Greg grow stronger.

Since New York Comic-Com, my interest in this increased. From the video clips and pictures I've seen, and from the music I've heard, this series is just a wonderful mash of beautiful animation, amazing voice acting and just plain wonderful music. I've read many comments, tweets and Facebook posts I've read, I've read nothing but amazing praise about Over The Garden Wall, praise I've never seen for a series before. And all because of that, I thought that this series was certain (despite being only 10 11-minute episodes long) to be one of Cartoon Network's best series in its history. You would bet your butt it'll this great...and it was. And then some.

Everything about it screamed brilliant. The writing, the producing, the animation, the voice casting and the way it was all put together. We all thought there would be a start, middle and end. Nope, there was a middle, start, shocker, and end. And this placement made everything more amazing. Oh, the start of the chapter where we saw many people and things and sights and sounds, like the pretty girl and cute dog, the dolls and trinkets, the guy looking at a picture and quivers when he sees a shadow, and a fish fishing for fish? Freakin' genius! All of these things shown would later be part of a reveal in a later chapter. (SPOILER ALERT)
--The pretty girl is Beatrice, and the dog is hers.
--The trinkets are people who work at or frequent a local tavern in Chapter 4.
--The man, the painting and the shadow are (in order) tea company owner Quincy Endicott, a woman he once loved, and Margurite Grey, a competitor he now loves in Chapter 5.
--The fish-fishing fish saves Wirt from drowning in Chapter 8.

The animation is also brilliant. It's like Adventure Time and Gravity Falls mixed together to make beautiful landscapes of color, tint, detail, and shine. I almost always stop and look at the backgrounds and appreciate how stupendous they look. If an animator could have a brain orgasm, this would be a show to get one from. Well, along with AT and GF (also great series with great animation). The animators took to great lengths and spent painstaking hours to create a beautiful new world no one will ever forget, and it paid off big time.

Also, the work the actors who voice the characters did a really great job. Elijah Wood does an awesome job as Wirt, making him sound believable as an angst-addled teenager with not much direction in life. Colin dean does an equally-awesome job as Gregory, making him sound really believable as cheerful child that never stops being cheerful and happy, never stops jumping in to help out a person in need (and succeeds) and never stops being funny (and he really succeeds at that). Melanie Lynskey also wowed me as Beatrice, a bird filled with guilt, regret and pain masked by sarcasm, wit and amazing spirit (well, at first, mostly to Greg, and not to Wirt at all), and Christoper Lloyd just amazing as The Woodsman. His voice, mannerisms, haminess and overall talent just make Woodsman captivating. Like I said before, he's Doc Brown or The Hacker, but he is his own character, and that's what makes him great.

And it's not just the main four actors that put in work in this series. The is also the supporting cast that also do really good work. Including singer Chris Issak as Enoch, John Cleese as Quincy Endicott and Adelaide, Bebe Neuwirth as Marguerrite Grey, Tim Curry as Auntie Whistles, Shirley Jones as Beatrice's mother and opera singer Samuel Samey as The Beast, among others. The producers went outside to box to cast voice actors we either don't know of or haven't heard of in a while, and dammit, it worked so well.

And I just wanna talk about the music. Oh right, I already have. It's all in my special edition of Long/Short Music Review: The Music of Over the Garden Wall. It's a good read that even the people that make the music, The Blasting Company, loved it.

(Okay, corny, shameless self-promoting over)

This series is just beautiful. Everyone who lent their talents into this series should get a pat on the back, take a bow, get a hug and other things that express gratitude and praise. And it's all deserved. This is a series you should watch and watch again, with family, friends, people you don't know, or just yourself. Any awards it gets nominated for, it deserves. Everything about it is just awesome.
I Love Over the Garden Wall, and you should to.

Surprise SLMR: Don't Tell Em

Surprise Short/Long Music Review time!! (again.)
This time, the man that (unfortunately) brought us "Birthday Sex", a song about using your dick as a gift for your girl's birthday (and will always be inferior to Dick in a Box) is back with another about sex, and this time the happiness of birthdays is replaced by the fear, compulsion, temptation and utter sadness of adultery. But according to Jeremih, that can masked by keeping it a secret. So here's his latest dip into not hiring prostitutes and keeping it in his pants, featuring YG, who might as well Toot It and Boot It to the hospital if he ever confesses; "Don't Tell Em".



...
--ZZZZZZZZ
"Mustard on the beat, HO!"
--Oh, it's another song produced by DJ Mustard. Crap, now I have to listen to the same shit he's made in his songs since his beginnings in his songs. The same quiet piano hits, the same snapping or clapping appearing in three-quarters of the chorus, and of course, the repeated chants of unknown people shouting "Hey Hey Hey Hey!" in the background. But hey, he has the cash from all this! "If it ain't broke, don't fix it" is probably his mentality. So let's take a listen shall we?

"'Rhythm Is A Dancer'/I need a companion/ Girl, I guess it must be you"
--Sure, pick up a chick you guess is perfect for a night in bed, despite that she's already dating. No way this would never happen in real life, right??
"Body like a Summer/Fuck you like no other"
--Don't lie, Jeremih. Sex is as easy as putting a finger though a donut hole. No way a girl would fall for something like you being an expert at it.
"Don'cha tell 'em what we do."
--Aaaand I'm wrong.
"Don't Tell 'Em" (repeat 25+ times)

You know, every time he says something in his songs, it leads me to believe he's saying something else. Like the first line.
"Girl, wat it do wit it(?)/
And u kno' how'da to wit it(?)"
I'm kidding, but seriously...
here's the real lyrics, if you actually care.
"Girl wat it do wit it/Don't tell em how you hit the ground wit' it"
--How you hit the ground with it? What did she do, get angry from how lacking your performance was, she just had to punch the floor? Oh no, can't tell the boyfriend (or a contractor) about that!
"...Girl you kno' I'm from Chicaaago!"
--Whoop-de-fuckin'-do; you're from Chicago. So is Johnny Galecki.
Who cares?!?
"I act a fool, Bobby brown wit' it!"
--You sure are acting a fool (wit it), but don't blame Bobby Brown for that.
"Ain't nobody take me out though"
--And it's their problem because...maybe you're a B-list singer with the name that nobody pronounces right that has song no one listens to anymore and is so desperate for a date, he just goes to the sluttiest girl at the bar for nightie, and just realizes that she's taken. But again, I could be wrong.
"You got good gifts/Bring 'em down the South pole"
--Great, you ruined Christmas for me!!
"[Unintelligible] quarter miles"
--What.
"[Unintelligible] gon' work it out"
--Huh.

"Only your (shoe?) got me feeling like thiiiis/Oh why why why why why"
Yes, Jerry, a big question: How could something so useless and pathetic...be trapped into adultery because of a shoe?
"Nothin' but grabbing the (width?) of yo' hiiiips/ That's why why why why"
Oh and maybe grabbing the--uhh--size and length of her waist. Okay, this makes no fucking sense!

After the chorus again is the second verse, which is just as bad, so I just put in two lines (Both of which are questionably stupid.)

"Girl, know how ya 'Fuu Fuu' wit it"
--Fuu...Fuu? Dafuq is that?!? Some fluffy monster pet.
"An' you know I know what to do with it!"
You know what it is...and you know what to do with it? Thank God I was not raised in the 'Hood.

And now we go on to featured artist YG,
“934-8616/I gotta missed call from yo’ bitch!”
--You know, I picture what would happen if he actually said that to another guy. He probably answer with a beat-down and say “Yeah, well, you gotta missed ball from my fist.”
--”She been plottin’ on for a whole minute/She wanna suck my dick/An’ I’m cool wit it”
Okay, One: Plotting? What the hell could that mean? If you meant fucking, what didn't you say that instead? It's fits in the rhyme scheme!
And two: What man wouldn't be cool with a BJ from a girl? It's like saying you watch Agents of SHIELD and that you don't wanna get blasted from Agent May...which is, kinda sad, I guess.

You know, this song is really terrible. The lyrics make no sense, and somehow, people know them well enough to sing them, YG's lyrics condone guys stupidly telling other guys their women called them, and it's unbelievably boring. It might put you to sleep by the time the audio watermark comes in and you might forget it's a song about forcing a girl to cheat on her significant other. Which is sad because there are so may of them out ther to try to forget and won't go away. Also, Jeremiah says "Wit it" so many times, I just wanted slap myself with a hammer wit it. Oh crap, now I subconsciously typed it in! For now, I wish Jeremih and YG to go away because America was a happier and safer place to have a good relationship in until they came out of nowhere with the third respective hits of their careers.

See you next time when I might come up with something else.

Over the Garden Wall Review: Into the Unknown & The Unknown (The Final Review)

Well, everybody.
The end has finally come. Over the Garden Wall has reached its final two chapters, and even though it's sad to watch this end, it's worth it to say that all good things must come to an end, and this series was so damn good (pardon my language again). Watching this for the past five days have been worth all the hype, all the wait, and the embarrassing tweets I've sent on Twitter, all the fan-page accounts that I've followed (okay only two, but it's worth it because they follow me back too) and all the tweets that creator Patrick McHale favorited (okay, also only two, but I'm grateful he even faved just only one). So with a heavy heart, hazy eyes and painful fingers, it's time for the final review of Over the Garden Wall.

When we left off, Greg was caught in a trap by The Beast, and Wirt, with no one to blame but himself, tries to look for him, but failed, having nearly died twice befor being saved by Beatrice. And now, he must face his biggest fears: losing his little brother and The Beast. But that won't happen, yet.

First, we begin Chapter 9: "Into the Unknown"

with a flashback of Wirt in his room, painfully saddened, and begins to makes a decision, and that decision is to put on a costume, go outside, and give a mixtape to a girl named Sara, a girl he likes. It's Halloween night. He goes to a football game, when Sara is. Greg comes from a neighbor's house with candy and takes the tape and gives it to her friends, and Wirt snaps. The brothers try to find take the tape (now in her jacket), but are caught and fail. They try again and find her at a party, unsuccesfully going through her jacket again. Later, we meet her date (and Wirt's probable rival), Jason Funderberger, who turns out to be a goofy-looking dude, but she likes him. Later on, they tail Sara, Jason Funderberger and some friends to a cemetery, to no avail on the tape thing. Greg embarrasses Wirt even more, which he finds horrible. Suddenly, everyone is caught by police. Sara and her friends leave, while Wirt and Greg are cornered. They climb a tree to the top of a wall, hoping to run back and go back on their mission, and climb down on the other side. Unfortunately, that doesn't happen. Wirt goes berzerk at Greg for being in his life (along with Greg's father, whom he doesn't like; they're stepbrothers after all), ruining his life for being around, and wants nothing to him. Then a train comes; Wirt pushes Greg out of the way. And this is where things get worse. Wirt and Greg fall several feet down an embankment and into a river, knocked unconscious.
Wirt then wakes up in a cave surrounded around bluebirds. He's in the tree cove of Beatrice's family. Now that Wirt is back to heath (and eating dirt for treatment), he can now find The Beast and save Gregory.

You see, it all makes sense now. Wirt and Greg are from the 1980s, and the clothes they worn that we thought were normal 1920s garb, was just costumes they wore for Halloween, and that "Garden Wall" they climbed was just the blocking wall of a cemetery they went to with Sara and his friends. And when they jumped over it, they fall several feet behind into the river below, and that jump-started the entire series. The entire series was just Wirt's imagination. And the many things he said here, like him being in high school, him saying "Smell ya Later" to Lorna in a time when no one says this, him embarrassingly saying that he does poetry to himself and plays clarinet, and make more sense because he's a awkward, shy, introverted kid from the 80s. And everything ties together here.
Seeing Wirt in the real world before the start was very endearing and like any teenager going through problems like he has, those problems that he faced felt real and something we all can relate to. His big crush on Sara, the anger and jealousy of seeing her with another guy, and annoyance and intolerance from Greg's antics. Many teens have gone through that (including me) so I applaud the writers for making this chapter so good.

And now the final chapter of Over The Garden Wall, Chapter 10: The Unknown.

Beatrice is flying through the snow and finds footsteps, which bring her to Greg, conversing with The Beast over an item he found for the latter. The wind blows Bea away, causing her to run into Wirt, who's looking for Greg. They then begin their trek to find him.
Meanwhile, Woodsman finds some wood to burn in his lantern, and hears someone singing; it's Beast with Greg, trapped in branches. Beast then tells Woodsman that he has another soul for the light, meaning he's about to...take Greg away. Woodsman begs Beast no to do so, not knowing that the light is souls of children he kept for many years, including what could be his daughter and Greg. Shocked and horrified, Woodsman tries to save Greg .
Wirt and Bea (now with Woodsman's lantern in tow) find Greg in the empty part of the forest wrapped in wood branches. They then are face-to-face with Beast, who plans to finish off Greg when the light in the lantern goes dark. Wirt then learns that the light is Beast's soul and opens the inside, releasing the light and ends the reign and terror of The Beast, along with his life. Wirt then goes to Greg and admits the entire thing was his fault, and that he shouldn't have put the blame on his brother in the first place. Then with the lantern in tow, With goes face to face with Beast, realizing that the only thing keeping the lantern lit wasn't the souls of children, but his own. Wirt opens the lantern, and blows out the light, almost destroying the Beast. He carries Greg and they begin their way. Bea goes home to her family and Woodsman finally kills the Beast to find his daughter.
Greg is saved from his doom, Woodsman is free from The Beast's reign, an Beatrice now has the thing she needs for her and her family to be humans again, Wirt and Greg are finally (and this time, I mean finally) on their way home.
But first, Wirt comes to, grabs Greg and leaves the river, where police and their parents are looking for them. They are rushed to the hospital. This was all Wirt's imagination.
He wakes to Sara, who tells he and Greg are in the hospital. They are just fine, and Greg tell other patients what happened, including Jason Funderberger (not the guy, Greg's pet frog--no, Wirt and Greg's pet frog. Wirt then talks with Sara about the mixtape, but she interjects that she doesn't have a record player. But he says that they can play it at his house. But first, they'll have to get through other mixtapes he made, and then, go all the way to the top, and then they can--oh man! Now I'm typing like Wirt's talking. I guess that's how I write these reviews, I guess.

And in the end,
-Woodman reunites with his daughter,
-Lorna is still enjoying life with Auntie Whistles,
-Quincy Endicott and Fred the horse (now his tea packing horse) being the best of friends
-Beatrice and her family are humans once more,
Wirt and Greg are back home,
Wirt gets the girl, and Greg has a new pet.

You know, expected a big final face-off between Wirt, Greg, Beatrice and The Beast. Although that didn't happen, I was very satisfied with what I had. I'm very happy everyone has a happy ending. Just like I'm happy for this series. Man, this series is good. All the twists and turn that would make your head spin, all the funny moments (80% of them coming from Greg of course), all the shocking twists and the amazing places we've seen, this series has it all.

Final time for Random Thoughts
--Jason Funderburger is such a Fogell from Superbad.
--That rad 80's music from this chapter was so cool beans. I wish that was really a part of the soundtrack.
--HOLY SHIT, THAT FALL.
--I really like Beatrice family. They're so tight-knit and friendly; you wouldn't notice any bad things.. I understand why Beatrice had that self-exile now.
--I'd be lying if I'd say I wasn't like Wirt as a teenager.
--Even in the real world, Greg is boss
--I'be lying if I didn't say I'd cry like hell if Greg died under the Beast's power.
--Sara is a really hot gitl...She is lucky to have Wirt,

--Thank you, Patrick McHale for such a magnificent series. I applaud you, the producers who put this together, the writer for putting together uch a story, the animators for making such beautiful scenery, and the actors for putting so much work and effort into their characters and making them look so complex and believable. I've never seen an animated mini-series before (but I'm sure this won't be the last), and I've never seen one as put-together as this before. I can't think of how much I love this series now.

Well, thank you all for joining me for this 5-day engagement in to the annal of my mind for such a beautful series. I'm so grateful for the love and pageviews I've received and that you've put up with my terrible reviewing skills. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
So, I'll see you next time for the other crap I'm doing.
Goodnight!

Special SLMR: The Music of Over the Garden Wall

Hi, everyone.
If you’ve been watching this new mini-series on Cartoon Network called Over the Garden Wall, or have been looking at this blog’s Twitter page for the past few weeks, you may have known a little about the series and its’ music. It’s featured within its’ chapters on-screen and on a section of it on the Network’s YouTube channel. And by golly, is it really, really good. So good, it’s almost like nothing I’ve heard before in a series (or even movie) soundtrack. Mostly because the music is very authentic in its sound and concepts. Everything is very 1920s and Antebellum in concept, and sounds beautifully in execution. So I’m dedicating this edition of Short/Long Music Review to the Music of Over the Garden Wall.

The music was arranged and recorded by The Blasting Company, an Ethnic/Folk/Dance music producing group from Tennessee, consisting of Josh, Justin, Charles, Brandon, Cory, Chief and Daniel, plus female members Clara, Kat and Jessica. I've never heard of them before after the series was announced earlier this year, but I certainly will know this name after it ends. The music they make is absolutely wonderful. A perfect mash of old-fashioned sound and modern-day indie in such a really nice package. I love each and every song in their own very unique way, so I’m gonna describe how much I love each song in their own little package of reviews.

Let’s start with T--”Over the Garden Wall” (a namesake song). With vocals by Chris Isaak, the song features a perfect ragtime sound with flourishes of drums and trumpets and accordion that just sounds really good without the instruments overlapping a lot. This is something you and your lady friend can dance to or snuggle up to. It’s perfect for almost anything.

Next is H--"Into the Unknown". This one is about the danger that lurks within the woods. Also sung by Chris Isaak, this one features nothing but a great piano session, which starts off dark and dreary, but later becomes warm and inviting, and his vocals mesh wonderfully wirh it. Halfway through the song, Isaak give us a haunting spoken work verse about the dangers and evil the are hidden deep within the titular Unknown, which sounds just as good as the previous one.

After that is E--”Like Ships”. A smooth piano ballard about two people coming together in love, like ships on a winding river. Sung by Elijah Wood and Shannon Sossamon, the voice of Lorna--First off, I will say that Elijah has a really nice singing voice, something I never realized about him, and second, their voices mesh wonderfully here. This is a simple love ballad that just blooms from start to finish.

My absolute favorite is the next track, U--"Patient is the Night". Sung (again) by the great Chris Isaak, this piece is about working all day until sunset and eager to see your lover’s beautiful face. And even though this concept is very simple, these lyrics make them complex and I just love everything about this one. The lush piano background, the quiet cymbals, Isaak vocals (which are the best to me), and the whistling piece near the end. And speaking of the end, the it just sends shivers all over your body. The first time I heard this, I almost cried (Seriously, I was misty-eyed and ready to leak) and every time the end comes, the same thing happens. The emotion, power, passion and overall feeling from this song just takes your emotions and dances with them (not to make you feel bad, but to make you feel good, happy and appreciate the night sky even more). All of these reasons and many unexplainable ones is why I truly love this song. This is a song I just wanna play on repeat and never get tired. And if I die, I want this to be the song I hear before I pass on.

N2--"Come Wayward Souls" is another short haunting tune about committing yourself to the evil and scary, with accordion played throughout and vocals by Samuel Samey, the voice of the Beast. This is one I won't be playing a lot anytime soon.

In K--”The Highwayman Song”, the titular Highwayman sings about what he does for a living, but don’t cross him, or else you’re left with a bloody face and cold feet. This one easily sounds like the scariest of them all, with the haunting instruments and HWM’s big booming vocals, this one will absolutely leave you running for cover...or your parents.

N2--”Forward, Oneiroi!” is an opera bit that includes amazing string and wind and beautiful vocals by . It feels slow (in a good way, I swear!!) but quick-moving, and when you hear this, it’s like watching an actual opera in the 1920s or lying down on a field by a river and daydreaming away or sitting at home and sleeping through Great Performances, or a combination of the three.

Moving on, we have O--”The Courting Song”. It’s about (what else?) what happens on the road to getting married. Attire, rings, vows, cake, things you’re to young to know about (sex); everything that happens after popping the question. This is the song I was introduced to when hearing of the series. And it quickly (and really) left an impression on me of the series’ music’s concept and feel of the Roaring 20s. The old-piano sound, the quick, muffled and elderly sounding vocals, and the some of the lyrics definitely feature words that have been used in the old century. And as I realized after hearing this song, it was a thing to get married at a young age way back then, and that makes this song even better.

Following is W--”Langtree’s Lament”. Sung by namesake Ms. Langtree (voiced in the series by Janet Klein, who also performs the song), this song is about the man she loved, her wondering why he leaves her, and how heartbroken she is. Another simple concept, but what makes it also more complex, and therefore making this song so amazing is its excellent and genius use of the Alphabet to explain and accentuate the story. Whether to use a letter to represent the start of a word or a word itself makes it so special. Plus, Langtree’s voice has a very nice modern-day indie feel to it, without shying away from the important old-time groove.

And finally, N3 (to tell the letters apart) --”Potatoes and Molasses”.

With vocals by the voice of Gregory, Colin Dean, this final song is about the desire for the delicious meal after a long morning of school time. Greg’s voice and Colin’s vocals make you feel really happy from hearing them (and watching Greg on the series, this truly makes sense). The added band of instruments make it make it pop even more, and the song (like all the others) is just a gem of beauty and wonder.

Sadly, when I hear old man Langtree shout “That’s enough!”, not only is this song over, but we’ve reached the end of all of the Music of Over the Garden Wall. I wish there was more to hear because the everything about these songs were just impossibly perfect, but I'm actually entirely grateful for the song I have been given. Each and every one is just worth listening and pretty much worth your time. Even if you don't watch (and you really should watch) or don't like (how could you not like this) Over the Garden Wall, you would love the songs of the series. I swear on my life, you'll enjoy them, and if you don't...make better life choices.

And now, I present the 5 songs I love out of all of them. I love them all very much, but these five are my favorites.

5-Langtree’s Lament--for its genius use of the Alphabet
4-Into the Unknown--for its beautiful use of piano play and Chris Isaak's vocals
3-The Courting Song--For the hilarious take on young love and marriage,
2-Potatoes and Molasses--For Colin Dean. This dude is really talented,
1-Patient is the Night--For everything about it

lso love the appreciation the series' music has been getting from viewers (like yours truly, obviously). Many fans have loved the music for its true authentic sound and very close proximity to the music of the Roaring 20s. I ready many comments on each of the video's pages, and every single one is about how much the certain song or about how great the series is.

The Blasting Company, I applaud each and every one of all of you for the music you guys have made for this series. Your talent just shows here and will leave a lasting impression on animation, TV in general and all of music.
Well, this series is just a perfect piece of animation and it music is just perfect in every way.

Over the Garden Wall Review: The Ringing of the Bell & Babes in the Woods

Welcome back, everyone. I hope you've settled with the crap of the last 3 reviews and will enjoy this review of Over the Garden Wall even better. We've almost reached the home stretch as Wirt and Gregory may be close to home...or so we thought, because this is Over the Garden Wall.

Here is the story so far:
Wirt is pissed with Beatrice, and Gregory is...just being Gregory (which is just great). Just as he and Greg finally went to Adelaide's, they have been pulled into a horrible trap in which she plans to use them as child slaves, and Beatrice wanted a pawn so she can be human again, something, after warming up to the boys, she doesn't want happening. This severed their friendship for good (like the pair of scissors Adelaide owned. Owned is the key word, because she later died from the night air, like...you know)
We left off Beatrice is still at the crime scene hurt and ashamed in herself, and as the brothers continue walking on their journey back home.

As we start Chapter 7: The Ringing of the Bell,

Bea searches through Adelaide's home, no reason, still ashamed.
Meanwhile, Wirt and Greg are walking in the rain. Greg talks to Wirt about Beatrice, which the latter does not want to do. Then Wirt is trapped by the Woodsman, who continues his cryptic sermon of Beware, Untrue, Terror and Tree-killing. But Woodsman is actually trying to warn them of further danger when still going through the forest. By kicking his lantern away, Wirt escapes in time before the Beast appears.
The two run into the house of a witch doctor named Auntie Whispers, who uses hypnotism to command people to do things (as she does here with her "niece", Lorna) just by ringing a magical bell. (It's just in the title).

Lorna is sick, but Whistles could not ask others make her well. When she goes upstairs, Wirt and Greg help her with her chores, and just then, Wirt begins a crush on her. When Greg tries to catch his ever-renamed frog upstairs, they wake Whispers, who wants to eat them for trespassing and wants Lorna by her side, which doesn't happen. They hide in the closet; BIG MISTAKE. Lorna turns into a spirit-possessed monster and almost kills the brothers before Wirt throws himself and Greg out the window and escape. Because the New WB Frog swallowed the "Ringing of the Bell" Bell earlier, they (well, mostly Wirt) found the chance to defeat the spirit and save Lorna, who is now well. She and Whispers thank the two for their heroic deed, and, grateful for the love and care Whispers gave to her, Lorna decides to stay with Whispers. Wirt is saddened. At the end, Woodsman chats with The Beast, wanting it to stay away from the brothers, with Beast warning that this would not help him, as his daughter's life is at stake.

If you thought that Whispers would be the threat of the episode (including me), you were wrong. Horribly wrong. If Woodsman wanted to keep the two away from the Unknown, he should've said so. He associates himself with The Beast anyway, and he causes some of the crap on them, so what use is there to say all these things? Oh that's right, he loves his daughter. And the Woodsman is just the biggest anti-hero I've ever seen.

In the next chapter, Babes in the Woods,

Beatrice comes back, well briefly, to find the brothers, but to no avail. Meanwhile, Wirt and Greg are travelling by...a makeshift boat out of an outhouse to the next place they'll end up. Wirt is heartbroken by his departing with Lorna and just doesn't feel like anything anything anymore. He also asks Greg to stop feeling happy all the time, blames him for getting lost in the first place and leaves responsibility of going home to him, not caring about anything anymore. The two later lay their heads on a tree and rest.
Greg looks into the the stars and recites and old folklore, and dreams of a colorful, magical land of happiness and deity above the clouds, with angels and animals and singing abound. Later on after all the happiness, The Queen of the Clouds comes to Greg and tells him that Wirt is hopelessly in failure and refuses to come back to reality. Greg then asks for a way back home, and the Queen gives him one. As it turns out, the Queen is actually The Beast, brainwashing Greg into joining him in the Unknown. When Wirt finally wakes up and snaps out of his morose state, he realizes his carelessness put his brother in danger. He desperately looks for Greg, but slips on snow and falls to the ground, knocked unconscious, but gets back up, only to fall through thin ice and into cold, frigid water, nearly drowning. Fortunately, he is saved by a net, which is pulled into a boat by the fishing fish...which Beatrice is in. Bea tries to get Wirt to come to and ask where Greg is, but it's no use...Chapter ends, Hearts broken, Countdown to the end begins.

This half hour is just "Let's See How Much We Can Make Wirt Sad, Part 2 & 3" (Part 1 was Chapter 6). Wirt is realizing that hiding his feelings and running away from his problems and fears are beginning to come back bite him, and although he's finally toughened up and has done thing things on his own, he goes back to old characterization, which screws him over hard later on. Meanwhile, I just love Babes in the Woods. The animation and songs remind me of the classic cartoons of the by animators like Tex Avery and . The parts after the homage truly ramps up the intense fear and, with Greg going with The Beast, Wirt looking for him and failing hard, and Be being genuinely worried for both of them. This really shows how close these three have become since the beginning of the series, and I love how everything just kills any hope we have of them going home again and just realize that we have a couple chapters left before it does happen. Plus, they reach The Unknown.

Random Thoughts:
Chapter 7:
--Greg may have powers; no he doesn't. It's still cute though.
--Dear God, Auntie Whistles is huge! It's like her stature already tells us that she's already Someone needs to get her some toothpaste.
-- From seeing Whispers eat a black turtle, I can say as happy as I am, "Thank God Lorna is not related".
--Wirt and Lorna seem wonderful together. I can tell from the shapes of their noses. The song they sing "Like Ships" is just a beautiful love ballad.
--It seems like when we all thought Whispers would be the threat...
--It seems Auntie Whispers may be related to Adelaide.
--Tim Curry was amazing as Auntie Whispers, completely different from his many other roles (I swear I didn't know he was in this before calling Enoch in Chapter 2 "Pumpkin Pennywise".)
Chapter 8:
--fish fishing for fish. Logic is screwed-up.
--Suddenly, I'm craving for the classic cartoons I enjoyed watching when I was a kid. Dollar-store DVDs, here I come!!
--Thank God I know that they'll be back together tomorrow.

Well, folks, the time has come. In less than 20 hours, the story of Over the Garden Wall comes to an end. The final battle begins, the reunion of (but I swear to God, I haven't seen it yet.) I gonna cry. See you tomorrow. Good---goo-goo-good...(sniff) Niiiigghhttt. (cries)

Over The Garden Review: Mad Love & Lullaby in Frogland

Hidey-ho, everyone. The obsession continues as another pair of chapters are in the books (well, broadcast TV books; and ha, pun). And now, here's what I think of them in the next edition of my review of Over the Garden Wall.

Chapter 5, Mad Love

begins as Wirt, Gregory and Beatrice go to a beautiful mansion, where inside lives an old man named Quincy Endicott, a tea company tyccoon who is--use a higher term--off his rocker (And I mean it and a very sorrowful AND humorous sense). He believes there is a ghost in his house, and wants it gone, despite that his fear of said ghost can't get him to do so. Plus, he believes the brothers to be his nephews. That's because Beatrice is scamming him in believing so just to dip into his money for a ferry ride to Adelaide.
Meanwhile, Wirt and Bea are searching for money and look into a closet, where they end up trapped. There, they have an chat about dark secrets. Beatrice slips that she used to be a human. She later reveals that previously she threw a rock at a bluebird, and in turn, she and her family were cursed, and were turned into bluebirds for the rest of their lives. (damn) When Wirt reveals his dark secrets in return, they aren't really that bad: He likes to recite poetry to himself at night, plays clarinet, and has a huge crush on a girl. Plus he knows interior design well. (Okay?)
I felt very sorry for Beatrice to have this fate bestowed upon her and her family. Even though throwing a rock at a bird is wrong, it was really cruel for them.

Meanwhile, Greg, Fred and Endicott look around the garden for the ghost. It's later revealed that the ghost that Endicott feared for all these years is actually a woman who is alive and well, and his competitor in the tea business: Marguerite Grey. Their houses were connected because of how huge they are. The two late fall in love, and thank Greg for his good deed in erasing their fears.

At first, there was definitely no way you would not feel sorry for him. You may have thought he needed help and soon, but because of his money and status among the wealthy, and because of the time period this series takes place in he can't get. And despite the more funny things he did here, it makes me feel guilty for laughing. But then things turned right around for the better by the end. Despite the bragging of his money, Endicott is a very nice guy, sweet and generous.
Also, it was very unfair for the three to steal money from him by posing as family. I know they need a ride

Next up, Chapter 6: Lullaby in Frogland

Wirt, Greg and Beatrice are taking a ride on a steamboat populated by frogs. The stepbrothers are happy to be closer to seeing Adelaide, and close to going home again. But because of one minor mistake (Greg's frog George has no clothes) the heroes are chased by security and end up hiding in Wirt's coaty-capey-thing (Greg is masked by a drum) to avoid being arrested. They end up playing in a band, with Wirh doing well playing bassoon, Greg playing his drum-face and his frog singing. That's cool. Finally, they get off the boat, into mud (the frogs are hibernating) and later, Bea goes to find Adelaide a little early. Wirt and Greg follow her. Things may have seemed well...
Only to reveal that Adelaide is a crazy old bitch (pardon my language) who wants to use Wirt and Greg as slaves, with the two believing that Beatrice was using their friendship for her benefit.
I've never felt so heartbroken. All when Wirt and Betrice were beginning to become friends, Adelaide happened. And speaking of Adelaide, that was shocking. Tricking the brothers to believing that she was a nice lady, when she wanted them to cater her every whim no reason, all in exchange for Bea to become human again. That's just painful. And just like that another two chapters end, leaving us with bad tastes in our mouths, and more eager to wonder what happens tomorrow when Wirt and Greg go closer Into the Unknown.

Random Thoughts time:
Chapter 5:
--Endicott brags about his money more than every modern-day rapper combined.
--I like Fred the Horse. Mostly because his voice is very familiar to me.
--Ha, Unkie. Greg is such a sweetie.
--Sure, Wirt. Ask the ONLY OTHER PERSON in a locked closet, if she is still there. (Now I see what Bea puts up with)
--Is it just me, or is Wirt just a nerd?
--Two compititors in love. Isn't that sweet?
Chapter 6:
--As funny as that sounded, and even though Greg was a little foolish for throwing the money in a fountain earlier, Wirt putting blame on Greg wasn't cool in the slightest.
--Greg with a drum on his face is my new spirit animal.
--That moment when the officers and waiter stepped on the tadpoles (BABIES) really grossed me out. That was just (gagging)
--I now hate Adelaide.
--And my big love for Beatrice has gone back to huge like. And yet I still feel sorry for her.

Well, that's it for now. tune in at the same time tomorrow for Chapters 7 & 8, The Ringing of the Bell and Babes in the Woods.
Goodnight!

Over The Garden Wall Review: Schooltown Follies & Songs of the Dark Latern

Hey, everyone. Welcome back to my review of Over The Garden Wall. This time complete and ready to go at 11pm.
Well, what a start that was, huh? I've never been pulled into a show like this since...well, I'm like this to a lot of animated shows, but I've never been excited for one this much since this series. And I was satisfied with what I saw last night, and wanted more. Which is why I'm happy those 24 hours went by so quickly when the next two chapters came in.


Up first...

After the pseudo-nightmare that is Pottsfield, Wirt, Gregory and Beatrice continue on their trek to Adelaide's house. After Wirt's shoe is untied, Bea gets annoyed with Wirt and asks Greg if he wants to be like Wirt, (as she claims) always does what he's told, pathetic, a pushover. Wirt is angered by this.

Wandering off, Greg finds a schoolhouse. Wirt and Beatrice go inside just as class has started. When they go in, Wirt decides to give Bea payback by--well, being a pushover. The teacher, Ms. Langtree, begins class by talking about the recent troubles in her life; the school closing down, her lover Jimmy Brown leaving her unexpectedly, and a crazed gorilla on the loose. She then sings a song about Brown.

Meanwhile, outside, refusing to go in, Greg meets some new friends and play a game called "Too Old Cat" (basically finding cats that are wrinkly and barely mobile). While Doing so, his possum friend looks in the bushes and finds a GORILLA!! The gorilla chases the guys around the school until possum friend knocks it out with a swift hit to the head via a branch.

After the bell rings (thanks Greg and friends climbing it after the GORILLA! attack), the children (and Wirt and Greg) go to lunch (or Meal Time as Ms. Langtree calls it), where the eat on a dull and bland lunch of potatoes. Greg finds something great out of it in the form of a jar of Molasses, by mixing the two together, and sings "Potatoes and Molasses", a song about this delicious mixture...until a man in a big coat comes in and stops the proceedings. He complains that if he wants to keep a school for animals to learn to read and write open, they must not have fun and play music. He then takes their instruments away, and sends them to bed (takes "schoolhouse" a bit too literal, doesn't it?)

During bedtime, Greg decides to bust out and leave with Wirt tagging along and asking for a plan, which Greg doesn't have. Then, somewhat conveniently, they find Old Man Langtree behind the bushes, moping about his troubles surrounding the school he tries to keep open (he gave up his life savings, home and everything else he's owned to save it; and he plans on selling the animal kids' instruments to keep it running), his daughter (Jimmy Brown left his little girl heartbroken) and the gorilla on the loose, and wishes that things in the world would go good for once. Greg then finally has his plan: steal the instruments.

The next morning, Old Man Langtree wakes up to find the instruments stolen and wonders where they are. He then finds a beautiful sight ahead: a benefit concert (led by Greg) to raise money to save the school. Many people gave a lot of money, just enough to save the school. Old Man and Ms. Langtree are happy, so happy that she just had to mention that damned Jimmy Brown and the stupid-ass gorilla again. But not for long, as coming from behind is the stupid-ass GORILLA!! After scaring everyone (again), OML asks Wirt to do something and Wirt complies, but his untied shoes make everything...better. Because of them, he trips into and knocks over the gorilla, and his head falls off, revealing a man inside. It's Jimmy Brown, the man who left Ms. Langtree. He reveals the reason for the gorilla fiasco: he took a job in the circus as the gorilla to make enough money to buy a wedding ring for her (Aww, how sweet), but he can't get the head off and tries to get people to help him, but they run off because of its scary stature. Ms. Langtree is delighted and they reconcile. And Old Man Langtree is smiling and teary-eyed that things in the world are for the better after all. This chapter ends with Greg giving a reprise of "Potatoes and Molasses" and everyone is all smiles...and Wirt has to tie his shoe again.

Well, this half of this half hour was both happy and sad.
The sad part with the schoolhouse closing and Ms. Langtree's man leaving her...for whatever reason that was later revealed to be him getting a job to buy a ring for her. There's no way you can feel sorry for the Langtrees at this point. Fortunately, the main three happened to be around at the time. And throughout the circumstances that led up to the concert, there's no way I would keep from crying a little throughout the ep. But the antics of Greg did keep me from making a fool of myself with his antics with his friends and his song "Potatoes and Molasses". And the benefit concert really made me smile wide. If there anything Greg can't do, it's stopping to help anyone in need and failing helping anyone in need. And being his wonderful cheerful self, of course.

And with Chapter 3 ending, we jump into...

Our three heroes are in a truck hidden in hay, trying to on course. But the driver is going very fast to run away from the Beast. Because of the fast speed and rocky turn off a corner, they fall off the truck and into the rainy night, where they still up lost.

To their luck, they come across a tavern, and go inside. While Greg gets food, Wirt and Beatrice try to ask for directions to Adelaide but Bea gets repeatedly hit with a broom by a female employee, and leaves in anger, leaving Wirt with this unfortunate task.
The lady introduces herself as the Tavern Keeper (her real name is not revealed), and the other employees of the Tavern (it's unknown whether they work there or not [or that they also have real names either], so let's assume they do), Butcher, Baker, Midwife, Master and Apprentice, Tailor and Highwayman.

Wirt tries to ask for directions to some of them, but his inability to do (he stutters and says the wrong words the whole time) fails miserably, especially when he asks an old, mustachioed man for them (the man mistakes his cry for help for trouble in trying to marry a girl at a young age), so he instead gets a song on how to pop the question in stylish and extravagant fashion.

Meanwhile, Bea talks with a horse about her problem, but then wonders what person would She tries hard to find to also find directions, and hears a voice in the background, so she goes to the person to ask. Back inside, Wirt tells everyone he's isn't getting married, but no one's listening. They force him to a love song (since that's what everyone does there), and he tries to decline, but fails and sings his on-the-spot song. It's not about love, but is very personal. It reveals that Wirt and Greg are step-brothers with Greg being born after Wirt's mother remarried, they are lost and looking for a woman named Adelaide to find their way home. The employees finally understand what he was trying to say (with Master believing that he's a Pilgram) and help him out. Tavern Keeper then tells him a story (a song) about the Beast and tells Wirt to be careful.

Wirt looks for Beatrice and finds her missing. He grabs Greg (and a lantern) and they ride the horse to find her, and run into the Woodsman (who he thinks is the Beast), who has knocked out Beatrice, and warns them to stay away from the woods. Wirt fights back with some really quick thinking. He blows out his lantern and grabs the Woodsman, while Greg picks up Beatrice, and knocks off Woodsman's lantern, setting a tree on fire in the process. The three then flee from the scene, leaving Woodsman to salvage his lantern.

The real Beast then appears to tell Woodsman about his horrible plan: He must keep his lantern lit at all times, for the rest of his days, or his young daughter's life and soul will be in great danger upon the hands of Beast. He also wants Wirt and Greg, but Woodsman tells him to leave them alone.

Well, this was a darker one. But weren't the tavern employees great? Even if some didn't talk much and appear for a few seconds, they still were great. Whether together or individually:
-Tavern Keeper is deliciously wicked
-Butcher is
-Baker is enjoyably manic
-Midwife out of it (she spits out a fish upon her introduction), but that makes her great
-Master is amazingly stoic
-Tailor is wonderfully shy and woeful, and
-Highwayman is really scary
and yet these characters are absolutely great in their short appearances.

Also, I think Wirt needs to applauded here. He actually steps in and does a brave and heroic deed in saving Beatrice from the Woodsman's hands. Plus he rode a horse, despite not knowing hot to do so, and used quick thinking to stop the Woodsman from doing even worse to her. And they went away just as quick as they came. Wirt is awesome!

And my God, the Beast is scary (obviously).

Random Thoughts:
Chapter 3:
--How odd is it that Wirt has shoestrings on his shoes, despite that it looks like otherwise all the time?
--Beatrice is a mean old bossy boots. Her being a witch to Wirt just hurts. Wirt's comebacks to her were delicious. Also her little curse was really cute.
--I kinda figured the teacher is odd just from her first words. Her hair is nice, though.
--Her song, "Langtree's Lament" is very pleasant to hear. Greg's song, "Potatoes and Molasses", is this up to 12, with cuteness on severe.
--Skinny guys can be menacing in very large coats.
Chapter 4:
--Wirt just can be ignored...and that's sad.
--Beatrice got hit by a broom lady. That's refreshing.
--Somehow, I feel disappointed if the doesn't return.
--Beatrice just can't go five minutes without leaving Wirt and Greg behind. Maybe she wants maggots. (No she doesn't).
--Wirt and Greg are stepbrothers. Forget Dipper and Mabel, maybe they're like Phineas and Ferb.
--Who knew Wirt's shoes can slip off so easily? Even though they have shoestrings...as shown earlier. Logic...
--Watching the fire-burning tree confirmed my thought that everyone had shivers sent at that moment.
General:
I will say these Chapters are more funny and lighthearted than dark and scary, like the last two. But this is a good thing. I really enjoyed them and laughed out loud from, especially from Greg's continued antics. This will be a much more amazing experience as time goes on. See you tomorrow for my review of Chapters 5 & 6, Mad Love & Lullaby in Frogland.