Tuesday, April 01, 2014

An Editorial from Grandpop

Hi everyone.

Today I make a rare decision, and release a post with content from an outsider: my grandfather Andre Pollard II.
He wants to release this editorial to everyone to share his disgust in a certain subject in this country: Youth in America today. On his behalf, I hope you enjoy his op-ed and learn that from his point of view, that teenagers are shit to deal with. Enjoy.

Hello. My name is Andre Robert Duvall Pollard. I’m 67 years old, and I come the city of Philadelphia, PA. And today, I am making this message, with the help of my grandson, Andrew, to tell about my disgust about this new generation of people in this country.

1. Their Behavior- Oh, dear Lord. I’ve never seen a generation of whippersnappers (not a word I’d use to describe them) act so callous and rude. Every time I see one, it acts rude to its parents; talking back, saying curse words, making actual threats. It’s sickening. It makes me want to go over there and hit it over the head with my cane. They act like they’re grown-up, like an adult. I think they’re more like overgrown babies. And even babies have more common sense and tact than them.

2. Television- Back then, when television was good, there were actors that gave their all so we can enjoy quality television week after week and year after year, and there was only three channels, so there wasn’t any difficulty choosing which to watch. even then, there was a wonderful variety of programs has consistently gone down the toilet. Now we have shows that ruin our brains and turn braindead mindless electronic zombies. Programs like The Jersey Shore, SpongeBob SquarePants, The Walking Dead (it’s about zombies; why is it so popular?), Teen Mom, and Sam & Cat (the red-headed one’s an airhead; at least she’s smarter than my grandson, who got held back in the 3rd grade three times!! Lord knows, whatever’s in her brain is slightly cleaner than whatever’s in his) make this medium a barren vast wasteland. I guess Newton Minnow was right.


3. Music-They music they listen to is filth. All the things the “artists” or the thing I really should
music they listen to is filth. All the things the “artists” or whatever I should call them, talk
about are money, drugs, liquor, women, how they treat said women like objects, making them dance disgusting dance moves and calling people things like “niggas”, “bitches”, “hoes”, “broads” and “slut” among other things. Idiots like Lady Gaga, Lil Wayne, Miley Cyrus (ugh, someone needs to put her in a chemical bath), Katy Perry, LMFAO, and Pitbull (I don’t know if he named it himself, or if that’s a part of his given name. And what’s with his mouth?!) Fill the radio with disgusting. Back then even the dirtiest songs has class, cleanliness, and most importantly, TALENT! Because you don’t have any, and you all should be lucky to have careers, and the money to survive until the 20th anniversary of your deaths, it makes me angry that you all brag about it all while we are suffering to eat soup and crackers at the senior center on Tomato Tuesday!

4. Dancing-the dancing today is putrid and vile. All the females shaking the rear end, wishing for a man to be behind them to make their days go better. Then they hope to be lucky to get lucky. Dancing wasn’t so gross back in the day. The moves may look hard, but were easier than the kids who performs such moves.

5. Clothing- Every time I go out, I see kids and teenagers dressed, they wear these tight, uncomfortable, and expensive clothes like they just left Detroit. Where they get them them, and why they wear them to believe they’ll impress other people will always somehow cross my mind like the names appear across the clothes. And don’t get me started of the heavyset females! They’re the worst. You all think you’re sexy, but I’ve got news for you: No matter what people like Mo’Nique tell you: Loving yourself won’t escape the fact that you’re morbidly fat and wearing clothes that only teenage girls wear. Do yourselves a favor, and wear clothes that can actually

6. And bedding a woman for the “halibut” (not a typo) is so disgusting. There are tricks and trades and whatnot. Back then, if your parent give you the talk first, we’d wait until we’re married to have sex and we knew that children would be a consequence if we didn’t want any. We’re not stupid.

Now before you begin to rant and criticize about my article, I get it. I get that we’ve done things similar to you all way back then. The dancing, the clothes, the attitude and behavior. We’ve done it before too. But the difference between us and you all is that what we did back then is more classy and innocent than what you all are doing today. No social media (whatever that means), no loud, bass-blasting music, no stupid, terrible television programs that run on sex, drugs and/or toilet humor than quality and talent; no anything made before 1991. Just innocence and cleanliness.
Now run and tell that, you disgusting pigs. That fact that we, the elderly (or “elderies” as that stupid redhead Cat would call them) are in a world run by mindless, crazy, ignorant, violence-driven, buttfaced nincompoops is a sad fact indeed. And I fear even more for the children of today and the future (including the wedlock love children of the slutty horny kids) to end up even worse.
God help us all.


Thank you all for reading and thank you to my grandpa Andre for the great read. And now I have an announcement to make: starting this month, this blog will no longer include opinions of random topics in the world of entertainment, national news and international, and just random thoughts in my head. Instead, I will talk of sex, the goings on in the world of soft-core pornography, bondage, the best deals in sex toys and vibrators, ninjas and why they're so cool and the occasional talk of the fantastic programming on Disney Channel. Recaps and live chats of such programming such as Austin & Ally, Dog with a Blog, Gravity Falls, Liv and Maddie, I Didn't Do It and Wander Over Yonder. I hope you all join me for the conversation in the months ahead.

Thank you and...
APRIL FOOLS.

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