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“SAVAGES!”

TT for Toony Tuesday: F is for Family - S3 is Season Three

What it is, fellow Earthlings?

Brotha Andrew is back to gab on the latest batch of crazy, radical, bummer and outta sight episodes of F is for Family. Season Three to be exact. 

This season - like the second - continued the plotlines that just continue on. After ending where things could be a fresh new start with smiles, lollipops and rainbows for the Murphy family and their friends, of course life dealt them the brutal slap in the face known as reality.

- Frank is back at work at Mohican Airways, and has been promoted to luggage manager. But things come to a boil when coworker and best friend Rosie quits after he isn't promoted, and runs for city alderman.

- Sue is now pregnant with the family's fourth child, and - after quitting Plasti-Ware after the owner steals her brilliant salad spinner invention - tries her hand at entrepreneurship by starting up her own company with friend and fellow quitter Vivian.

- Kevin is now in summer school and, after dropping his asshole acquaintances like ants on an apple, gets a new group of friends that are just as bad but are better in most regards.

- Bill is still the devil's plaything, seeing even more traumatizing things any child could get PTSD from just one, and now has a "girlfriend" (his bully's somehow even more twisted sister) treating him like her bitch. 

- Maureen is ... doing stuff. I couldn't care less. I remember her getting on a clown show and actually close to winning a ring toss game, but the clown host fucked it up to keep the gifts for himself. (I actually felt sorry for her).

- Major is still around, humping anything and everything in sight.

Speaking on "major", the family's neighbors and friends have gone through changes as well.

-Sue's friend Ginny and her closeted gay husband Greg have finally divorced. While Greg is now living it up as an openly gay man (which made me extremely happy for him), Ginny is still a clingy, shallow, pathetic, questionable, self-absorbed excuse of a woman throwing herself at anyone with a pulse - including Otto Holtenwasser. Poor sweetheart.

-Otto, speaking of, is still our favorite sweetie of a Holocaust survivor, but has an edge to him.

- Bill's bestie Phillip has a diary that shows some... horrifying thoughts to people he doesn't like as a way to cope.

- Frank's co-workers are still doing their jobs at Mohican Airways.

-- But after being disrespected and passed over for a promotion, Rosie quits the company to tun for city alderman.

-- Bob Pogo has repented and is now on good terms with Frank and the other workers. I didn't remember much from him this season besides failing to save Bill in the finale.

-- Red and Carl are still shitty luggage carriers. And are still going on about Fuck School (their porno story).

-- After the deaths of the Dunbartons -- greedy asshole owner Roger and insane, brain-dead racist nephew Scoop, the former's wife Brandy takes the mantle as company owner. She was forgettable.

New characters:

- Chet Stevenson: He's a Vietnam vet who moves into town with his wife...

- Nguyen-Nguyen, Vietnam survivor whom marries Chet after the war.

- Bridget Fitzsimmons, little sister of Bill's bully Jimmy whom has a crush on and starts a relationship with the latter.

- Anthony Bonfiglio, baby brother of Bill's best friend Phillip. He's retarded. (What?? It was an acceptable word on TV back then).

- Jeffery Dahmer, neighborhood little asshole. 

And now, what did I think of this season?

It was great... but I didn't love it. It's pretty much more depressing and somewhat repetitive - even for this show. While there was some hilarious jokes and compelling realistic drama (this show's hallmarks), there were some jokes and moments I didn't like.

- Bill still walking into vile people doing vile things: this season, we have the cray cat lady very hairy cunt and a half-naked hobo pissing in a payphone booth. Every time this happens makes me scream inside and out. That same music that pops up every times this happens makes my teeth hurt too.

- Bill still an unwilling victim of Murphy's Law.

- Anthony's little "YOU KNOW WHAT?" act (after a while).

- Vic is a drug addict.

No really, that's it. I thought we'd get more of a serious side of Vic after losing his radio manger job and kicking out his bust-it-wide-open whore of a girlfriend who had sex with Kevin. We'd see him fall in a more vulnerable state as he drops the habit and get his life back on track and get a job just as great and well-paid. And I honestly thought it was funny at first, but... All we get from Vic throughout is "Yeah, I love drugs! I still feel good! I can stop any time I want!" He never does. Wasted. Just (like him) Wasted.

- Goomer is still creepy as fuck

Frank's friend & nextdoor neighbor - and grade A snoop, Goomer took his nosiness and oddities to the next level here when, at one point, he pretends to be Frank. By wearing the outfit, he draws in the receding hairstyle and wore the glasses. And the background music at the start at the moment really set in motion this disgusting blight. It got funny as it goes on, and got even funnier when his wife Evelyn catches him with his pants down (not literally, but after his (Frank's) pants were down on the can), when he openly lies to her about the situation saying Frank is stealing from him.

- Ginny. That is all.

She continues to be everything we hate about her since her debut, but now is even worse. After divorcing Greg, she hops from poor guy to pitied guy she can get her slimy hands on, and her very presence raises the hairs on every appendage of the other characters. The only good thing about her is that she finally let Greg go from her whiny, abusive clutches and . But she gets worse when she jumps straight to Otto and basically rapes him. Even he hates her. And when Otto isn't on good terms with someone, you know they're fucked. King size.

- Bridget. She makes Megan Parker look like Mabel Pines (selfish tendencies aside).

- Frank being more of an inattentive taint. 

Moments include:

- Ignoring Kevin when he wanted to conquer his fear of the motel pool he nearly drowned in.

- Not listening to Sue about who Chet really is (until it's too late).

- Avoiding Bill while the latter suffers through his latest form of punishment by the universe in the form of Bridget.

- The fight with Sue while she was heavily pregnant.

I just hope season four tones down the borderline morose undertones of this season, and presents the continuing story and plot-lines in a less darker way. I appreciate the (slightly off in spots) realism and linear development along with the proudly absurd jokes about a bygone era in American history that some many people reminisce while cheerfully glossing over the brutal shit back then that's really not much removed from what's happening today (just read the comments under random TV commercial videos on YouTube for just that). If not, I hope season five will be the last. That's how much I feel about season three (tone-wise at least).

And now, some moments I had more than a feeling about:

- Bill finally calling out his old man and old woman for all the abuse and neglect they threw upon him throughout. While in a life-or-death situation in the city river - with only a stuck shopping cart keeping him afloat. Seeing him finally grow a spine and speak his mind raw and genuine to anyone - after all the crap - is a very strong moment of catharsis. (Also, Maureen is good in my book for saving him.)

- Frank showing more glimpses of genuine emotion in some spots.

- Kevin facing his fear of swimming pool. In season 1, it's revealed that Kevin nearly drowned in a motel pool. This would more than probably explains his problems in school, which no doubt sent him to summer school. (Un)surprisingly, he nearly drowned again, but seeing him mature a bit and face his fears for closure is a very mature development and .

- Sue's determination to create her own kitchen appliance (even if if fails for her and Vivian pulls out of the partnership later on after a meeting).

-Rosie runny for local office as city alderman. It's great to see Rosie have more airtime and especially his own storyline, as he's one of my favorite characters. Sucks he lost but his 

Bridget. While I didn't like the character as yet another example of Bill's poor showing in life, her story was... an interesting one (in a good way). Watching her be young, 70s example of a Meghan Trainor song was unsettlingly entertaining and delivered in its purpose in making us feel much more sorry for Bill. and most of her funny lines were admittedly very funny. I raged when she didn't get her comeuppance for her actions, I hope she will next season.

Debi Derryberry get a lot of mileage for her several roles on the show, but this role as Bridget (coupled with the writing) has to be her scariest of all that I've watched in my lifetime. And for that, I'll give her major props.

- The story of Chet and Nguyen-Nguyen.

Stevenson is a vet fighter pilot whom went to Vietnam, and Nguyen-Nguyen is his wife from the country. They're happy; Chet's an awesome, upstanding guy and Nguyen-Nguyen's a sweet, shy, wise, lovely lady. Nguyen-Nguyen a sweet and introspective confidant to Sue, and Chet was seen as a great friend to Frank (but other characters (like Sue) saw a monster in him; it's only too late where Frank discover's Chet's true colors when he goes off the deep end). But under the surface is a very unhappy (and then, very scary) union. Chet is revealed to be a petty, unhinged, volatile, abhorrent "person" who really snapped in Nam - and snapped again later, and Nguyen-Nguyen his prisoner who lost her family and village during the war - by Chet. From that end, Nguyen-Nguyen suffers mightily from her "husband's" abuse and towards the end (notified by her improving English) finally snaps and returns the favor by poisoning Chet, leaving him to possibly Chet-- uhh, die in the hospital. Nguyen-Nguyen is taken to jail, where we leave her 

-- This storyline is incredible.

At first we meet a new interracial couple who seem happy, loving and all smiles; but as it progressed, it gets more and more upsetting, heartwrenching and nightmarish. As said earlier, Chet is a Vietnam pilot who went insane en route back to the States, and took out much of his (physical and emotional) rage on his immigrant/prisoner wife. And at first, Nguyen-Nguyen is a shy, quiet, sweet woman who learns English from watching our then-new TV shows. But later on, we learn she's not to be fucked with, and Chet learns the hard way.

Vince Vaughn (who is one of the show's EPs btw) give a phenomenal and shockingly genuine performance as Chet (especially during the latter half), which is a huge departure from his other characters with laid-back, devil-may-care slacker attitudes and a hidden heart of gold. Seeing him (or rather, hearing his voice) go from the usual to a raging, unhinged PTSD-suffering maniac under the surface was truly unexpected and the payoff was near-perfection.

Also worth a shining light is Eileen Fogarty as Nguyen-Nguyen. Her performance as Vietnamese woman fitting in in a new country with her homegrown "hero" husband and then suffering brutally under the shadow of the same man who helped kill her family, destroy her village and treat her even worse in her new home is both super hilarious and deeply harrowing -- in the same episode or sometimes even in the same scene. When Nguyen-Nguyen reveals her pain to Sue, it'll tug at the heartstrings and shed a few tears, and even more so during her last appearance when she reveals her revenge on Chet to Sue. You'll just want to give her a hug and all the love and care she truly deserves.

All in all, I thought the season was great, but it'll be a while before I'll give it a rewatch. The tone was way more dark and dreary than I was used to from this show, and left a much more bitter taste in my mouth. That's not to say the laughs weren't there, and there were mile a minute. Hopefully season 4 will IMO bring the series back on track to be an equally hilarious and poignant semi-autobiographical animated series based on a balding comedian who goddamn hates his father. Won't that be neato.

That's my review of F is for Family season three. And this has been Toony Tuesday. See you all next time for... whatever else. I'm Andrew and "may the good toons be yours!"

LA Riots Reborn: Protests and Uprising in America After the Death of George Floyd

In 1992, The United States would live though one of the most infamous in its history, when riots broke through Los Angeles when video of local cops brutally attacked Rodney King was released. When the officers were acquitted in a trial months later, the city's black community was not pleased. After the verdict, riots broke throughout the area - with businesses destroyed, people killed or assaulted, millions in property damage and an image that LA would never recover from for years. King himself spoke out on the carnage, and famously asked "Can we all get along? Can we get along?".

The us vs. them image and mentality of the black community vs. local law enforcement remained and reverberated for the decade and into the new millennium - especially throughout the 2010s, where anger, frustration, tears and calls for justice consistently reached fever point after the deaths of regular African Americans by police officers. -- are many whose lives were unfortunately and unfairly taken. The latest victim of such is George Floyd of Minneapolis, who was killed by police officer Derek Chauvin, while his fellow cops watched. Chauvin would later be arrested and charged with third degree murder and manslaughter.

After the video of the deadly incident went viral, the black and brown communities (and a large portion of the Caucasian community) responded with (mostly peaceful) protests in several major cities across the U.S. I fully support the protests, as it is the best way of waking up the ignorant and showing that black people are also human and are not just thugs and jail bait, and that sometimes, the police are evil monsters using their profession to take down black people who didn't deserve it.

Unfortunately, various law enforcement across the country made things worse by treating the protests as a terrorism uprising and disrupted them with rubber bullets, tear gas, pepper spray, physical attacks and arrests. Seeing police take down and seriously harm people who did nothing wrong and treat them are terrorists makes me furious and tear up a bit. Making it even more so is our brain-dead imbecile of a president; he's tweet-called for the military to step in and kill them (one recent tweet included the infamous, racist and disgusting phrase "Looting leads to shooting") and called for the the U.S. to fall under a "martial law". Plus, he called the governors of of states under protests and uprising "weak". All while hiding in a bunker below the White House (with the outside lights shut off like it's Halloween and everyone is hiding from trick-or-treaters!) What. A. PUSSY.

At one point led DC police to tear gas a group of protesters just so he can take a dumb photo-op in front of church. When November 3 comes around, take your anger to the polls and vote this stupid, psychotic, dictator-wannabe orange fat-ass out of the Presidency.

This would lead to looting in stores of differing sizes. People are stealing from stores in the name of George Floyd. He wouldn't want this.

Listen, folks. If you want to protest police brutality and such, go ahead. I support your fight and perseverance. But if you're gonna loot and steal from other people who built these stores and put their blood, sweat and tears into their hard work, then stop what your doing, go home, look in the mirror and see yourself as the monster that you really are. Because of people like all of you, these stores are now closed and boarded up; other people can't get their food or their prescribed medicine or anything important to survive. Fuck shoes or clothes and the like. You've ruined the good fight for those who really want to fight the good fight and nothing else, and ignorant people will see this as racially-charged guerrilla war. Black people caught looting, some white people caught looting, some white people caught  faking a looting. It's disgusting. Plus, there still is a viral disease out there; there's a chance you'll catch it. Give up the idiocy and don't desecrate the memory of a man who wouldn't do such a thing. He may have been caught with a counterfeit $20 bill; but he also died despite it. Find the right lane and stick with it. Fight for the black community's right to live freely and safely, and don't embarrass us all because you want a new pair of Adidas and a bag of chips at fucking Family Dollar.

His Name is George Floyd: Minneapolis Man Killed by Derek Chauvin, Ex-Cop Charged with Manslaughter / Other Cops Should Be Jailed

Once again, the United States is suffering from a disease. It's not just Coronavirus, but also a disease that corrupts and disrupts police officers in many cities across the country. It keeps on happening when it shouldn't have to, and it makes no sense. 

The latest victim is George Floyd from Minneapolis. He was allegedly caught with a voided check and was issued a warrant on fraud charges when he was stopped on the street by local police. According to the cops that were there, George resisted arrest, causing them to handcuff him and drop him to the ground - with one cop forcing his knee on Floyd's neck. That was an example of Brutality already, but what happened next is even more evil. The cop, Derek Chauvin, kept his knee on Floyd's neck for over 5 minutes, even as George begged to be released as he couldn't breathe and needed air. He never got to grasp for air and George Floyd lost consciousness at the scene, was arrested soon after, and died the following day at the hospital.

This was some bullshit. And it didn't even need fo happen. Cops asserting their authority has been a thing pretty much since the creation of law enforcement-- especially to people of color. You would think that in the age of smartphones, instant internet access and social media that  they would finally stand down and actually do their jobs honorably, right? Fucking. Wrong. Ever since (or even before) Trayvon Martin was heartbreakingly and unfortunately killed by fat evil bitch G***** Z******** (you know who that is; I'm not typing its name), there would be more and more cases of black people (who did nothing wrong) intruded upon, racially profiled and killed by white cops (who had major power trips during these incidents), and they end up walking Scot-free from the major crimes they committed thanks to hiding behind their badges and their superiors, who most likely covered up as much as they could to get them off the hook. These flickers should not be in law enforcement if anyone they face looks less like genuine threats that make them say in defense, "I was fearing for my life", when you have a gun, taser and nightstick in your possession.

In George Floyd's case, just because he was taller and stronger than the cops, that doesn't prove, beyond face value, that he would physically threaten the police. And wouldn't know this if the cops were true in their claim that he resisted arrest. But as proven later on after the video's release, they lied. (Shocker.)

Another video was released a few days later showing that George never resisted arrest and that the officers lost their damn minds for no good reason. Despicable.

Even if George resisted arrest, a cop kneeling on his neck like the guy was meeting fucking Queen Elizabeth until he lost his breath and consciousness was way beyond unnecessary and disturbing. These 4 cops did not do their jobs (and if you argue they did, then they did their jobs horribly, because one of them could've just tasered him, and oh yeah - He didn't resist arrest! THEY LIED ABOUT HIM RESISTING ARREST!!

The 4 corrupt cops deserved to get fired. But they deserve even more to go to prison for life -- one of them committed murder, and the other three aided him while doing nothing to stop. There is police brutality, but this instance took it to the next level, and it makes me sick to my stomach. The cynical asshole in me believes they won't go to jail; they'll walk and probably end up in another police department and possibly even kill again without the proper identification. I want  them to face justice and pay for their crime (and yes, choking someone to death is a crime even by a cop). But knowing that this outcome in court has  happened before, it'll happen again. And that is bullshit.

UPDATE: And now, the killer cop will face justice. Chauvin was recently arrested and charged with manslaughter and 3rd degree murder for the death of George Floyd.

The other cops have not yet been charged, but are under investigation.

No one in the Black community 100% trusts the police wherever they are, and this is just yet another reason why. If you out there want to be a cop, remember... this is not a privilege. Killing people just because you wear a badge is not a perk. Your job is to protect the innocent and arrest the corrupt and guilty. If you have to shoot someone, it should be below the head and chest and only at the last resort. If you still want to  be a cop, and ever end up doing this, you will not be seen as a good person.

These four cops.

Remember them as the shameless, badge-abusing scum of the earth they really and truly are.

And remember him like you remember the other African Americans who did not deserve all this.

His name is George Floyd.

White Bitch Calls 911 on Concerned Birdwatcher about Unleashed Dog (While Abusing It)

Once again, the trend of Idiotic, shameless white people in the U.S. calling local law enforcement against black people minding their business unfortunately continues.

This time, the caucasian creep in question gets what she deserves. 

Christian Cooper is a famous black Birdwatcher walking through NYC's Central Park one day doing what he does best. Our Karen, Amy Cooper (no relation, of course) is a white woman who also went to Central Park around the same time to walk her pet dog. When they crossed paths in one area, Christian asked Cooper to put a leash on her dog (the reason being this certain section of Central Park features birds of many breeds frequenting among the trees, and dogs or other animals will catch and harm them while unleashed). Cooper somehow took Christian's understandable advice as a threat, and decided to call police. But it's what she does during the video that ignited her downfall.

Roll film!

Disgusting.

This bitch talked like she was attacked and beaten when speaking on the phone, while at the same time, held the dog by the leash so hard and so aggressively, she's basically choking the life out of it. The canine moves and squirms all over the place as if it's begging their master to let go; it's abhorrent and disheartening to watch. The fact that this woman cared more about making a scene to get police sic'd on an innocent bystander (a black one at that) who only wanted to help her keep her canine in check (and therefore keep the birds safe), than keep her canine in check and safe -- and, you know, BREATHING, says so much about her than it would at all for the man whom was trying to do something good for someone else and then go about his day. And it says even more about a part of white people in the 2010s (and now 2020) that decide to try to terrorize and ruin the lives of black people just living their lives and not terrorizing the lives of others to begin with (whether they truly are criminals not is irrelevant) . Had they just minded their own business and left the African Americans alone, these stupid showings of "borderline" racism and supremacy would not happen and life in America would much more happy and free. But no, they do just that, and now that their faces and names are out in the other, they now represent a form of humiliation, embarrassment and karma in the age of social media and memes. And Amy Cooper is the latest and best example of this.

After the video went viral, Cooper lost the following: 

- Her dog: the cute pooch was surrendered by Cooper to the rescue she adopted the canine from, . On Twitter, they announced that the dog is back in their care.

- Her job: She was fired from Franklin Templeton, a major investment firm. They announced her termination in a Twitter post.

- Her livelihood: I'm sure anytime she leaves her house soon, she won't be seen the same way.

All thanks to one major overreaction caught on video that she did not need to make and one phone call she didn't need to make.

Cooper later apologized fir her actions.

"I'm not a racist." -Yes, you are. 

"I did not intend to harm this man." -Yes you did, you threatened to call the cops on him, in the hopes of him getting arrested, abused and or killed for the major transgressions of telling you what to do and inconveniencing you. Don't deny it and don't lie about it. It makes you look even worse. We know what you are now,  Amy. And everything we've seen of you in that video is what you truly are: a dimwitted racist who can't handle being in the same environment as a black man,  and want to see them taken down even though doing so will backfire on your dumb ass.

I don't care if what I say next makes some people mad (if it does, fuck you), but she deserves everything. She didn't need to call the cops on a black man -- and one whom wasn't threatening or imposing to her (again, all he asked of her was to leash her dog). She didn't need to act as if she was assaulted by the same man (I don't know him personally, but I presume Christian and most birdwatchers like him are not psychotic people) -- that made things worse. And she especially didn't need to hold her pet by the leash and yank them around - that could've killed or at least suffocated them. She should've gone to jail for animal cruelty. All this gets her what she deserves, and had she not have been like all other whites being pricks to black people based on preconceived stereotypes, she wouldn't be where she rightfully is today -- jobless, hated, infamous and petless.

I hope Christian Cooper is doing fine.  He didn't deserve the crap he went through. Hope he's having fun with all fine-feathered fluttering friends in Central Park.

Moronic Trump Official Compares Idiotic Stay-at-Home Order Protesters to Rosa Parks

Vox

Hello, everyone.

I hope you guys are doing great during the your state's/providence's/country's  shutdown from Coronavirus. It is very changing times on Earth at the moment, and it's definitely something we (most especially extroverts) are not used to. Many of us have lost our jobs; rent and utilities are near impossible, all the important supplies are always gone from the store shelves (seriously, fuck the people who swiped high amounts of toilet paper! [you all don't need that much]), and many large events across the planet have been either postponed or canceled altogether till next year. It all seems like insanity, but as long as we all stay calm, do our best mentally, thank those who still have an important job to do (the healthcare workers, our mail-people, our law enforcement and firefighters, government officials (who isn't the highest of the bunch) and all others unmentioned), keep the faith, have the famous folk actually notice and care, and keep the essentials stockpiled, we're #inthistogether.

I at the moment am okay; my family and myself are doing great at home - taking it one day at a time, but nobody is stir-crazy and it's a great thing.

As for the count of cases and deaths from COVID-19, it's startling and heartwrenching. Fortunately, as I've heard at the moment, all is slowing down a bit, and the curve is flattening. And even though it's real heartbreaking that so many have lost their lives or have had their lives slow down because of Coronavirus, at least things are improving steadily. And that is also good.

What isn't as good though is that some citizens of several states in the U.S. of A. have had enough of COVID and the stay-at-home orders, and have taken to their city halls and state houses to voice their displeasure.

courtesy Channel 7 - WXYZ-TV Detroit

Here's my displeasure: these people are out of their fucking minds if they think their demands of reopening their cities states and walking among the thousands/millions of denizens will make everything better! We are are in the middle of a pandemic, where people have gotten severely sick or even died from a major disease (which at the moment, STILL has no cure)! There's no where to go or who to talk to in person because the major streets are closed (except mostly in Florida, because... Florida)! The stores and beaches are shut down! And it is viral and borderline airborne! What point is there in protesting, when the government officials and leaders will not listen to you?! (Well except Trump, but he only wants your vote, of course. He doesn't care about you.)

And speaking of Trump, his response to Coronavirus was a goddamn disgusting catastrophe. He fired the response task force, he lied about not knowing about the virus (he knew in January and did still nothing), he went around Fox News and the right wing media claiming 15 people had the virus and that everything was under control (that's not how viruses work and him saying "under control" would make a cat have a heart attack), he fought against anyone and everyone who wanted him to send the necessary supplies to treat contracted citizens (governors,  reporters, etc), sent necessary supplies to OTHER COUNTRIES for the money, made his daily press briefings like his rallies, his administration did nothing much to update the nation on the stats, blamed anyone but himself (Obama, Democrats, the media (and its reporters), China, the WHO, the CDC, etc. etc.) and of course he made it about himself.
A bang-up job from our commander in sheeit.

And back to the protesters of these protests, they're making their little stunt all about themselves. This whole thing is about putting themselves before those of everyone else in this country. Their wants, their needs, their desires and their cries of desperation for what they think is normalcy. But we're no longer in normal. This is a new normal. And what they're doing ISN'T normal. No social distancing, some are wearing masks and/or driving in their cars hilariously enough (which negates the whole thing) and many are even taking to blocking entrances to major hospitals so employees and patients cannot enter. All of this is selfish, pathetic, amoral, immature and irresponsible.

Think that's stupid? Well, some claims are even more so.
Some douche wanted more mulch for his grass. And some bitch wanted her roots colored at the hair salon. I'm not kidding - these are real. Here's a clip.

It makes sense that those people doing their protests are mostly Trump supporters, because no one else could think up very stupid reasons to hold up streets and block hospitals so that healthcare workers and COVID-stricken patients won't get in, but for those I've just said.

These people are certainly what's wrong with America and their incompetence in understanding the situation of Coronavirus has put themselves and others (especially others trying their best to keep their families healthy and safe while doing their jobs) not only in danger but also in the spotlight as the lowest of the low.

Just like this man: Stephen Moore, a Trump administration official on 45's council tasked with reopening the country. While helping plan a protest of Wisconsin's state-at-home order, said this verbal abomination in support of the protesters.

"This is a great time for civil disobedience. We need to be the Rosa Parks here and protest against these government injustices."

That's right. This rich, high-ranking, high-and-mighty out-of-touch asshole moron compared the stay-at-home-order protesters to Rosa Parks. In other words, a Trump official one nut short of a Payday bar connected a group of idiots wanting the home states back open to serve their own trivial minutiae needs to a Civil Rights icon who risked her life to fight for blacks to sit anywhere they please on a public transportation. This is where our government is right now -- nonsensical racial and classism discord.

If you can find the dots to connect between these two totally unrelated and incompatible topics, congrats. You are just as dumb and out-of-touch as Moore.

Also dumb and out of touch are the GOPers in state government deciding this week to reopen beaches (already an unsanitary place to have fun for some people) to the public. And many have actually went. People, we are in the middle of spring! Why are you going to the beach when it's not the right season. Y'all just went there because your governors said so. And that is very dumb. Think for yourselves and find your own fun at home.

If what's next offends you, I don't give a sweet shit. Those protesters and beach-goers are going to catch Coronavirus, and that is karma. I'm not saying they deserve it (and neither does anybody), but if you aren't going to use common sense and actively ignore social distancing guidelines during this pandemic, you get what you get and I won't feel an iota of sympathy for you people. I only feel sorry for members of your families that share genetics with you. If they catch it too, and learn it's from you, I hope they disown your asses.

Protesting a state order is one thing, but doing so while blockading
hospitals from healthcare workers is one thing way too far.

And this healthcare worker says as much here.

(I feel I should worship the ground this hero walks on.)

Now look, I don't blame the protesters for wanting to protest against these state orders. They want to go back to work, go back shopping, have outdoor fun and live their lives again. I - as introverted as I am - also want to do these things again. We all want to. I realize this pandemic is certainly different than other viral outbreaks and really is something we're all not used to. But right now, it's not the time to do such things. This is serious, and it's not something to laugh at. Thousands of people have died and many thousands more are very sick, from a disease that is very easy to catch and suffer from. As I say they have every right to fight against their states' orders, the protesters' hearts certainly weren't in the right place, and their actions & words on TV proved it.

Fuck you protesters, fuck you Stephen Moore, fuck you Trump, fuck you Trump administration (except Dr. Anthony Fauci), fuck the GOP governors and fuck you Florida state government. All of you can suck seriously sweet taint.
This country should not have to be so divided on such a dangerous issue like Coronavirus, but we have dangerous president in the White House at this moment so here we are.

Everyone else, stay safe, listen to your state officials, keep the kitchen full and  stay healthy, because - again - we're all in this together.

Disney/Pixar's "Onward" The First Animated Film to Feature an LGBTQ Supporting Character: Here's Why I Care and DON'T Care

Greetings, adventurers!

Are you ready for a quest of epic, awesome, majestic and emotional proportions? If you're saying 'yes', then you're ready for...

the first LGBTQ+ character in an animated film.

That's what is happening in the upcoming installment from the "companies with the biggest, most obvious stronghold of the Academy Awards ever" franchise -- also known as Walt Disney Pictures and Pixar Animation Studios: Onward.

For those of you unaware (and I'm hoping there aren't many), Onward centers on two teenage elf brothers, Ian and Barley Lightfoot (voiced respectively by Tom Holland and Chris Pratt), who learn by their mother Laurel (Julia Louis Dreyfus) on the former's 16th birthday, that their late accountant father (he passed away when both boys were very young) was actually a wizard and left them with a magical staff and collection of spells in the hopes of continuing his legacy in a world with magic and wizardry are dwindling in saddening fashion. After this everything-changing reveal, the bros then find a spell that can bring their dad back from the great beyond for 24 hours, and it works... until they reanimated only his legs, waist and feet. This leads them on a journey to find a continuing spell to bring back the rest of their now-bottom-half dad and, along the way, find themselves closer in a very emotional and heartwarming way that only Pixar can make it.

But right now, that's not what's everyone is focusing on.

What's getting word of mouth is that last week, it was announced that one character in the film, a cyclops named Officer Specter would be portrayed as "a self-identified lesbian" (voiced by entertainment quadruple-threat Lena Waithe - whom is also a lesbian) in the movie. She appears in one scene with two other cops - Officer Gore and Colt Bronco (portrayed by Ali Wong and Mel Rodriguez respectively) - doing a traffic check where the Brothers Lightfoot are passing through.

Here's the peek into Officer Spector's life of scissoring and cross-tounging:
“My girlfriend’s daughter got me pulling my hair out"

For context, here's part of the article from TODAY.com.
"Officer Specter comes in towards the middle of the brothers’ quest while they head to the magical mountains. In one scene, the character and her cop partner Officer Gore pull over a driver who claims he was distracted because his girlfriend's sons have been acting up.
“My girlfriend’s daughter got me pulling my hair out,"
Officer Specter relates during the scene."

And that's it. That's all we hear about it. Nothing overt, nothing brash, nothing in your face, nothing worth waving the rainbow flag. She's just a cop raising a kid from a previous relationship with her girlfriend. It's just so overwhelmingly underwhelming, that even I felt dulled out by it, asking "that's it?". So basically, Disney and Pixar are taking the subtle route and making the personal life of Officer Specter sound normal and mundane as if it's not a big deal.
As they should.

As revealed by producer Kori Rae to Yahoo, "it just kind of happened" and added “The scene, when we wrote it, was kind of fitting and it opens up the world a little bit, and that’s what we wanted.”
Director Dan Scanlon said in another interview,
“It’s a modern fantasy world and we want to represent the modern world.”

From the moment the movie was announced, I was super excited. It's a fun, exciting story with no-doubt fun, relatable characters (voiced by no-doubt very talented actors) and some moments that make me laugh, cry, feel and enjoy. Plus, it officially debuts on my birthday - March 6. And as we reach closer to the release date, the trailers and behind-the-scenes videos got me even more amped. Nothing could stop me from seeing it. Not even the fact that an LGBTQ character will be in it.

Okay, don't get me wrong and make no mistake. I'm very happy for a non-straight character in an animated film (whether made for the family or otherwise). And if you expected me to get triggered and trash Disney and Pixar for this accusing them of "supporting the SJWs" and "brainwashing the kids", you're in for a rude awakening.

Here's why I care about this: 

I don't have any problems with non-straight characters in movies and TV shows all my life. There are gay characters I've seen featured in several different characteristics -- some (read: few) written well, others (read: many) stereotypically unwell, and several in between. Most of them are vibrant and flaming. And rarely, in the previous century, has any characters of the like been treated normally and respectfully and not as a joke. The problem with that is we've been so used to seeing gay people like that in media for years that it's hard to see the LGBT community as anything but overdramatic, flamboyant, sexually active, disease-carrying, comically dressed weirdos. Which is why it's great to find TV shows and movies these days that depict less... those. But some people just don't want to get educated about why gay people aren't what they think. They're so close-minded it's more scary than funny, and that's a shame.

Here's why I don't care about this:

As happy as I am about Officer Specter being lesbian as any open-minded, progressive-thinking person would, I don't care if someone's LGBTQ because in real life - unless I'm dating them; that doesn't matter to me. If I want to make friends with someone or talk personal with them - and they reveal to me that they're lesbian, gay, bi, trans, queer or etc., I'd say "That's cool. I'm very happy for you"... and nothing more. It's not that I'm being dismissive. It just does not affect me personally, and I wouldn't care more or less than I'm supposed to. I really don't mean this in a disrespectful, insulting or demeaning manner; I just won't throw a party for you if you came out to me. I'll give you a hug and a nice pep talk, and that's it. If you say you don't care, at least explain why you don't care. Or else... you do care.

This news does not affect me like it does some other people make it affect them, who at this point just love to make a mountain out of a molehill over every little change in society that they think will negatively affect them. Seriously, just yesterday, I saw a video on YouTube by a popular superhero media news website reacting like the genre of animated movies has been forever besmirched and tarnished, because a side character in one of them just so happens to have a girlfriend. The host elaborated that Disney has their balls squeezed by social justice warriors to make this happen, and that children will think they will be gay later on life too - and some comments mirror this. For God's sake, it's not like Ian will end up in an orgy with mermaids and gnomes, or Barley winds up in a coke-fueled cult worshiping a golden idol likeness of Slash. The overreactions and overreaching were so gross, that I stopped the video about halfway and didn't bother commenting, as those whose opinions I agreed with got destroyed by the commentators who think Disney is forever ruined by a gay background character we'll forget about in one movie after seeing it anyway. Y'all know Disney and Pixar films have featured some dark and depressing morals, topics and scenes in their movies through their histories and no one got pissed over them (mostly because the staff never announced them beforehand). If African Americans, Hispanics, Asians, women and straights can be positively portrayed in movies, non-straights can too.
It just took way too long to do that for all involved.

One gay character is not going to hurt, it's not going to brainwash children (and if you think that's the case, you need to check their social media and streaming service accounts for all that) and it won't tarnish animated movies forever. If no one has a problem with straight people shown kissing, then no one should be grossed out by people of the same sex kissing. Kissing is kissing. And if children are repulsed by a boy and girl kissing, then that's one thing. They're children. You grown ass people are not. Grow up.

If you think that children are brainwashed by Disney and Pixar movies, then realize that they can believe that they could be replicating the toxic masculinity of Gaston (Beauty and the Beast) and Clayton (Tarzan); act like a far off world exists for them to stay a kid (Peter Pan); that toys live, breathe and move when you're not around (Toy Story franchise); superheroes live among us (Incredibles); talking rats can cook at night (Ratatouille); it's possible a meteor didn't wipe out the dinosaurs (The Lost Dinosaur); tiny colorful creatures control our emotions (Inside Out); the characters of video games have personal lives (Wreck-It-Ralph movies); the dead can celebrate Dia de Los Muertos like the living (Coco); it's totally cool to act and live an evil, egomaniacal, extremely-judgmental priest (The Hunchback of Notre Dame); monsters can magically access and scare our sleeping children through their closets (Monsters Inc.); boys can smoke cigars and drink beer before turning into donkeys [plus puppets can become real boys via fairy godmothers] (Pinocchio); elephants can fly (Dumbo); and Simba and Nala can be siblings [and the stars say "SEX"] (The Lion King). Long story short, if you think that children are so stupid to believe anything in a cartoon show or film to do such things or act like such characters, congrats. You assholes are just as dumb as you think they are - if not more.

Making a big deal about it will not make it go away; it just makes it bigger. If you say you aren't going to see the film because if one character whom is gay, too bad. It looks like a great, fun, exciting movie on par with Pixar. And you're just going to ruin it for everyone else with your mindless whining. But remember: It's not about you and it won't ruin you. It helps to be aware about it, but if you don't care, cool. Just don't make it an even bigger deal out of it than the people who make it happen. If they want to scream from the rooftops that the societal norms of the 2010s are cruelly shunning them away, they might as well should. I'll just stand aside and let them fight instead of roadblocking them from just living their lives in silence. 

So in conclusion: I'm happy that Disney and Pixar are featuring representation of the LGBT community in one of their movies. It's long overdue and shows they're finally more open to people who aren't white or straight. It's not a major reason I want to to see it (again, everything else at the top is) because I don't fully care, and I'll still support it even if the character isn't a lesbian. And since she will appear in one or two scenes and she mentions a girlfriend briefly, there's really nothing to worry about. To those crying and piddling their pants about this, stop it. You don't know what you know more than what you've seen before that leads up to nothing big and brash. You are not a gatekeeper to the best and pure of animated film. Nothing is changing for the worst. That came when most films of the past decade plus are exclusively CGI and all of The Emoji Movie. Shut the hell up and enjoy the film for what it could be. I'm not saying you shouldn't speak on this; everyone has a right to speak their opinion, no matter what. But if this is what you need to say on a movie made mostly for kids, you shouldn't. Everyone else who wants to see it wants to see it for every other reason before this one; don't be mad at them for wanting to see another Pixar piece that'll do doubt get nominated for an Oscar - or even win (mark my words on either) and be another expected grand slam that'll be a hot moneymaker for LuxoCo and FrozenHead Studios.

Me, I'm going to cosplay as Ian when Onward comes on March 6 and enjoy it.
You? Whatever you want.
i DoN't CaRe!!!1!!11!!1

THE//EDDIE/MURPHY\SHOW=REVIEW (aka SATURDAY/NIGHT\LIVE_FORTYFIVE=REVIEW: ten -- EDDIE MURPHY (and lizzo) [Chrismas]

Finally...

The man that saved a sketch comedy powerhouse... has come back home.

The man that for four years in the 80s helped (if not single handedly took) a hugely successful and popular television series from its dying breaths and gave it new life through his wild, crass, racially-charged and eye-opening yet real, raw, refreshing and damn hilarious brand of comedy has finally returned to that series as host for the first time in 35 years -- and that was the second time (his first was while he was still a cast member). And between that timeframe, he's made movies. And comedy specials. And -- popular, successful, quotable, classic movies and comedy specials.

Laughter is his game.

Eddie Murphy is his name.

On the other side of the bill is a musician who has really made a big jump to the mainstream this year. While she has been in the game for several years, she's been making hit after hit, bop after bop, jam after jam and Jawn after jawn in 2019. Juice, Truth Hurts, Good as Hell, Jerome and  And she's just getting started. Oh and she's fluent with the flute.

Her name is Lizzo.

Honestly, I can't freaking wait.

I've seen Murphy's sketches today alone and he was definitely the shit during his time inside Studio 8H. His jokes were hilarious, his timing was impeccable, his characters (Mr. Robinson, Gumby and Buckwheat, etc.) was iconic and he was an inspiration to many. You really wouldn't believe he was only 19 when he started. Now he's back where he started from, with everyone grateful to be where they are because of him. And I'm grateful to be alive for it all.

See you soon for the 45th Christmas episode and the last episode of both 2019 and the 2010s. Can't get any bigger than this.

--

And here we go!
Obviously we start with a political cold open, this time based on the sixth democratic national debate. Everyone we know/love is back - Rachel Dratch as Amy Klobochar, Larry David as Bernie Sanders, Jason Seudeikis as Joe Biden, Fred Armiden as Michael Bloomberg and Maya Rudolph as dropout Kamala Harris (bringing her Beyonce sized sexy song humor with her). I didn't see the debate, and I didn't have to - as I know where my support lies. But this sketch tells me how looney this how thing has been. The current, former and guest cast give their A-game. Heidi Gardner does a fine job as PBS Newshour anchor Judy Woodruff, and Alec Baldwin still has good pay as IMPEACHED President Donald Trump. I can't wait for 2020 for the sketches to fly and the disses to sting.

--

Returning to a standing ovation and CHANTS, Eddie Murphy returned to the house he rebuilt to remind us how awesome he was, still is and always will be - his movies, his wonderful kids and his Bill Cosby impression. Tracy Morgan, Chris Rock and Dave Chappelle cameo to Also prove how awesome they are and make for an entertaining, hilarious and inspiring monologue. Some white dude also appeared -- "Joe Piscopo" -- but thank God for Kenan to break up the monotony.

--

As I live and breathe, it's Mister Robinson! One of Murphy's legendary sketches has risen from the ashes and has not been unmissed. Murphy has not missed a beat as the skit has been reinvigorated for the modern day. His place is now gentrified, he's old and fat and is now rocking a slick stache, but he's still got it -- thieving, squatting and being an affable asshole to everyone he meets. And teaches it all to his young impressionable viewers - who should watch South Central instead.
Also he has a son. I wonder if it's that boy he sold on the black market.

Show returns live on January 25 with Adam Driver and Halsey.
--
No, not Netflix's Nailed It. It's a Food Network show where people bake cakes and they end up dumpster fires that make me question what even do at 12:51 (am, PM, does not matter).
I loved this one because the cakes are nightmares, but the surprises are genuine. Speaking of nightmares, please pray for me after the ugly fire-raised demon lives in mine with me holding a cross and rosary beads to make it through the next few hours.
--
This next pre-tape takes place at a family's Christmas dinner party, where everyone enjoys the love of family and togetherness, even when everything leading up to it was an episode of a BET drama. It was brilliant, realistic to a sense and a classic to be sure. Just wait till next year's clipshow.
--
BUCKWHEAT!
Fuck the pointless  Masked Singer starting the sketch. Buckwheat is back. It's good to see him back. And nice on the judges (surprisingly well-casted) for going meta to welcome him back after three decades... and being shot.
--
She's 100% you know... it's Lizzo.
She performed her #1 hit (and my fave of said boppy jams)  "Truth Hurts". While more nuanced than her last performances of the track (see the BET Awards, VMAs and others for those - oddly they involve cakes), it was still energetic and fun. Lizzo looks 1000% less stripperific than at that Lakers game, she still looked sexy and smooth. She never performed the whole song live before, but I'm glad she did.
--
Colin Jost and Michael Che make their last appearance on Weekend Update, discussing the impeachment-- GUMBY!! He straight up took the show and NBC to task for not putting respect on his name for making Eddie Murphy a star and saving the show. I live for this and laugh for this. Even when they crack up.
-
Pete Davidson peeked out of his pothole to discuss the impeachment before launching a diatribe about how his being thr youngest cast member since Murphy led to jokes of being not handsome. Like a haze, I couldn't remember this.
-
Jost & Che launch into their tradition of reading the other's jokes. And as usual, Colin gets a race joke (Buttegieg"s running mate is the Popeyes Chicken sandwich) and Michael's is cringe (Epstein Unbecoming). My tradition is that it is always funny.
-
Cecily Strong's Jeanine Pirro is back to react to some political crap, but her punchline is up chucking wine all over Jost. It's as disgusting as it was hilarious.
-
This edition was super funny from start to finish. Merry Christmas, Colin and Michael and all of the writers.
--
It seems like they needed a time to squeeze in Murphy's characters when they didn't need to. It feels awkward.
--
Black Jeopardy! Is Back Jeopardy!
And look who's here - Velvet Jones!

The greasy ho-loving woman-teaching book salesman returned during an episode of the game show-within-a-show, and even though he's older, he isn't wiser enough  to stop saying ho or using the show to his his similarly-titled correspondence  books. I always love this sketch, and seeing yet another Murphy character makes me smile wide. His last answer is inspiring though.
--
Lizzo returned for the last performance of the year/decade with a Christmassy version of "Good as Hell" in a super-sexy Winter Wonderland. It was quite a surprise to see, but with dancers dressed like sultry candy canes and Cirque de Soleil-ing on poles, it's every sleazy pizza-faced 16-year-old's dream. Hot and fresh on the coldest, stalest holiday, Lizzo knocked it out the park.
--
And finally, a bear has terrorized and cannibalized a section of Santa's workshop. An elf has freaked out and it's all on the news.

Meh. Murphy saved it from being boring and forgettable. His lines were hammy and hilarious and all the same sleazy but make this sketch a visual pleasure but a conceptual waste.
--
Well, that is it. The last episode of SNL in 2019 hosted by Eddie Murphy. It was a great episode that featured expected-but-still-exciting appearances of Murphy's great characters from his tenure, and a few new and recurring sketches that took at least one big laugh out of me. The cast took the year out on a bang, and continued to gel with the impressive writing perfection. The hosts, musical guests and guest stars are brilliantly chosen and all give their A-game to consistently awesome returns and the creative of Lorne and the staff have no bounds yet (there are small ones but they come and go). This season so far is a winner to me, and I can't wait for more in the new year and decade. And I hope you'll join me then. Happy Holidays, everyone.I'm Andrew Duvall Pollard, saying "Goodnight and...*gurgling demonic tonguespeak*...-- I mean, "I'M GUMBY, DAMMIT!?".

Refresh for more review - this is live tonight.

Toony Tuesday's Tinselthon: Simpsons Roasting on an Open Fire (The Simpsons)

Ho-Ho-Hey, everyone!
Welcome back to Tinselthon. Today, we're taking a look at the very first episode of The Simpsons - coincidentally a Christmas episode. Aired on Fox on December 17, 1989, this episode either reintroduced to America the subjects of the popular segment on The Tracey Ullman Show (which also aired on Fox at the time) or introduced to America and the world a family that would change the idea of a fictional family on television and the landscape of the American sitcom forever. And it all began by changing the landscape of the Christmas episode - for worse (for the characters) and for better (for them later and for us).

It's "Simpsons Roasting on an Open Fire".

This special is different from many others before it in which unlike where one or two things go wrong for light despair and/or heavy laughs but everything still goes right and festive in the end, everything goes wrong -- whether for despair and/or laughs.
- Bart gets a tattoo, but Marge pays for a painful removal - losing the money for Christmas presents in the process
- Homer doesn't get a Christmas bonus (along with his co-workers) and has to find otjer means to make pre-Christmas cash.
- Homer steals a tree from a homeowner's land (and nearly gets shot and mauled) because he couldn't afford even the cheapest of big real fir trees.
-Homer's secret seasonal job as a mall Santa gets him a very low wage (current hourly minimum wage)
- Homer's last resort is to take that wage to bet at a dog track. Even that fails... with terrible odds against his pick (but at least he does get a new puppy for the family).

Homie tries his absolute best (and that is very commendable) but sadly falls short every time... but at the end, the family are still happy -- thanks to their new dog Santa's Little Helper, joining their other pet Snowball II (rest in peace, Snowball I) as the furry members of the clan.
Despite the near poverty, it's sweet (and even a little teary-eyed to see the family still have a great Christmas. It's as if you don't need presents, trees, bright lights and decorations to have a memorable holiday. Just family and love.

This special episode introduced secondary characters that would become beloved on their own later on in the series proper.
- Seymour Skinner, Springfield Elementary principal
- Milhouse Van Houten, Bart's best friend and co-conspirator in his schemes
- Sherri and Terri, Bart and Lisa's classmates
-Ralph Wiggum, Bart's... special classmate
- Moe Syzslak, proprietor of Moe's
- Charles Montgomery Burns, Homer's evil greedy boss at the Power Plant
- Waylon Smithers (whom is only heard over the speaker)
- Barney Gumble, Homer's best friend, drunk and frequent Moe's customer (and is also a blonde here, instead of a brunette)
- Patty and Selma Bouvier, Marge's older twin sisters
- Ned Flanders (Homer's sweet friendly neighbor) and his son Todd
- Santa's Little Helper, the Simpsons' new pet dog
- Snowball II, the Simpsons' (relatively new) pet cat (of many)
- Dewey Largo, Springfield Elementary's music teacher
and Lewis, one of Bart's other friends/classmates (at first)

"Simpsons Roasting on an Open Fire" really kicked off the series in a big, festive way, and it's easy to see.
From the start and throughout the episode, America's favorite family were just like we knew them from day one (if you've never watched the Tracey Ullman Show shorts).
Bart being a mischievous brat that with a heart;
Lisa a precocious sweetheart, Maggie a pacifier-sucking walking-then-tripping baby, Marge a wise nurturing and loving mother and wife, and Homer a dopey and anger-prone yet fun, loving and determined father (sort-of). They represent a family that truly exists in all of us -- even if their characteristics are a bit over-the-top, there's legitimate authenticity in the family that you see in your family or your friends' families or your neighbors or people you see walking down the street. There's a chance the Simpsons are just like your family (and one of them are just like you).

Random Thoughts:
- How the hell did the tattoo artist think Bart was old enough to get inked despite The Boy being half his size?? Maybe he saw the signs instead -- dollar signs.
- By extension, Marge really didn't have to pay to get it removed. That money is for presents. If anything they could've waited until AFTER Christmas with makeup covering it.

Favorite Moments:
- Lisa and Bart's showings at SE's Christmas Pageant (especially Lisa's)
- The family's letters to Santa
- Homer as Mall Santa
- Bart's encouragement for Homer to keep earning money
- Patty & Selma in general
-Lisa telling off Aunt Patty for dissing Homer in such articulate language that I had to hear very close to hear what she said (I knew what she said though). What a badass daddy's girl!
- Homer and Bart taking home Santa's Little Helper (and the family's reactions)
The family and Grandpa Abe singing "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer" -- with Homer snapping at Bart and Lisa for adding funny lyrics to it (the former later getting strangled for the first time because of it).

Favorite Lines:
- "Oh, Jingle bells, Batman smells, Robin laid an egg. The Batmobile broke its wheel, and the Joker got awa- (YANK)" -Bart
--
-
Marge: You will not be getting a tattoo for Christmas!
Homer: Yeah, if you want one you'll have to pay for it out of your own allowance.
Marge: Homer!
--
Marge: (writing) Dear Friends of the Simpson Family, We had some sadness and some gladness this year. First the sadness: our little cat Snowball was unexpectedly run over and went to Kitty Heaven. But we bought a new little cat, Snowball II, so I guess life goes on. Speaking of life going on, Grampa is still with us, feisty as ever. Maggie is walking by herself, Lisa got straight A's and Bart... well, we love Bart. The magic of the season has touched us all.
Homer: Marge! Haven't you finished that stupid letter yet?
Marge: [writing] Homer sends his love. Happy Holidays...
Homer: Marge!
Marge: [writing] The Simpsons.
--
Homer: (buying a chew toy for Maggie) It says it's for dogs... but she can't read.
--
Tattoo Removal Technician: (turning on laser) Now whatever you do, boy, don't squirm. You don't want to get this sucker near your eye or groin.
--
Homer: Dasher, Dancer... Prancer... Nixon... Comet... Cupid... Donna Dixon?
--
Bart: Hey, Santa, what's shakin', man?
Homer: (as Santa) What's your name, Bart-ner... er... little partner?
Bart: I'm Bart Simpson. Who the hell are you?
Homer: (annoyed) I'm Jolly ol' Saint Nick.
Bart: Oh, yeah? We'll see about that! (Pulls off Homer's Santa beard, just as their photo is taken)
Homer: D'oh!
--
Bart: Aw, come on, Dad, this could be the miracle that saves the Simpsons' Christmas. If TV has taught me anything, it's that miracles always happen to poor kids at Christmas. It happened to Tiny Tim, it happened to Charlie Brown, it happened to The Smurfs, and it's gonna happen to us!
Homer: Oh, all right. Who's Tiny Tim?
--
Patty: Where's Homer anyway? It's so typical of the big doofus to spoil it all.
Lisa: What, Aunt Patty?
Patty: Oh, nothing, dear. I'm just trashing your father.
Lisa: Well, I wish you wouldn't because, aside from the fact that he has the same frailties as all human beings, he's the only father I have. Therefore, he is my model of manhood, and my estimation of him will govern the prospects of my adult relationships. So I hope you bear in mind that any knock at him is a knock at me, and I am far too young to defend myself against such onslaughts.
Patty: Mm hm. Go watch your cartoon show, dear.
--
Marge: This is the best gift of all, Homer.
Homer: It is?
Marge: Yes, something to share our love - and frighten prowlers.

Bart: And if he runs away, he'll be easy to catch.
--
"OW! quitit." -Bart
--

"Simpsons Roasting on an Open Fire" is not only a hilarious, brilliant and heartwarming start to The Simpsons TV series as a whole, but is also one of the best Christmas episodes and specials in television history (and maybe it's because I love the show very much, but even if not it still is). This episode was supposed to air later in the season, but thanks to sloppy animation of the intended debut "Some Enchanted Evening" (In fact the series was to first debut in Fall 1989 with that episode) being pointed out by EP and co-developer James L. Brooks, it was scrapped with this episode airing in it's place. Cheers to writer Mimi Pond (her only credit for the series) and director David Silverman (his first of many), and the rest of the early crew for putting together such a festive and fantastic debut.

Thank you all for joining me for my first ever review of The Simpsons. And stay tuned on January 14 where I'll review the rest of Season 1, starting with "Bart the Genius". Can't wait to do it, and I hope you'll all join me.

Merry Christmas, everyone!
Or... Happy Hanukkah/Kwanzaa/Boxing Day/Festivus/etc./New Year, everyone!

Toony Tuesday's Tinselthon: Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer

Welcome everyone, to the first of hopefully many editions of Toony Tuesday's holiday-themed reviews - entitled Tinselthon. First up, the one that started the madness; the special that created term, and has continued the trend today with movies that are all essentially the same thing "something (romance, mishap, goofiness, bright light competitions, etc.) and TV shows where something (disbelief in Santa, missing presents) turns to something expected (belief, gifts turn up, everyone’s happy) to this day. It’s the first of Rankin/Bass’ iconic holiday specials: Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer.

Everyone knows the song, everyone remembers the story, everyone can recaaaall the most famous reindeer of aaaaall. And everyone has figured out how much of an asswipe Santa - and everyone but Mrs. Donner, Hermey, Clarice, Yukon Cornelius Mrs. Claus and the Misfit Toys - was. So please let me retell it in my snappy, sardonic, somewhat-serious and un-patent-able wit and weird, uncouth yet funny writing.

This special has been sweet, fun, hilarious, and brilliant. But at some parts, it feels a bit cynical. Even though I never noticed it as a kid, almost everyone in the special was a damn jerk to Rudolph:
- His father Donner resented the red nose from the moment he was born (although I will give him some credit - he was genuinely shocked by the blinkin' beemer of a beak and wanted to protect him from the other dicks of does, and did feel horrible about his borderline emotional abuse when his son runs away from home);
- all the other reindeer (children and adults) give him hella grief because of it, by making fun of him (the kids) or keeping him away from... certain activities (Comet [thank gosh Santa yanked him out of the sleigh]). And even when he became an adult, the rest of them still act childish as hell towards him. [it's one thing for fellow kids to mock you for your appearance, but for grown deer and does to brush you off so harshly? That's a dick move if I've ever seen in a holiday special. And I don't care if that's how parents act toward their kin back then, that's just crappy];
- And finally, old Kris Kringle himself. From the moment he meets up with Donner and the Ms. to meet their newborn, Santa bitterly dismissed Rudolph because of the nose, and during the reindeer games scene where he admonished Donner for the little kid he co-conceived having the thing he didn't have any control over. The only time he finally shows any empathy to Rudolph is when the latter's nose has much better use when a demon snowstorm devastates the world and the nose's light so bright as a lifeline to give Christmas gifts to the kids. [Yeah, sure he did feel bad later on {he just didn't say it himself}].
(I said this in my review of the song during my Top 10 Worst Christmas Songs of All Time... list: the reason I hate the song [and therefore these characters in this special] is because Santa and the other reindeer treat him like garbage until the very minute (when a snowstorm somehow nearly wiped out the whole damn WORLD) he was considered useful - not a friend, or an acquaintance, or even someone interesting; USEFUL. People like them make the world a wasteland. While it’s nice that there are people with great talents to help make the planet brighter, taking advantage of them is a scumbag move.)


All these characters (except Donner to an extent) are the worst parts of the special, and while I’m aware that it’s one special whose plot is literally untouched all these years (...except the part of the end when the Misfit Toys do go to deserving homes) - causing me not to get totally furious about it, watching these scenes still tick me off - more so as an adult. Screw them!

And now to rid of the rampant rage, let’s talk about the special’s music.
Of course, this special titled Rudolph the Red-Nose Reindeer is based on the song called “Rudolph the Red-Nose Reindeer”. I don’t like the song (see why here), but I love the songs featured.

“Jingle, Jingle, Jingle” is a catchy and fun introduction to Santa (before he became the asshole we know and despise).
“We Are Santa’s Elves” is a sugary, charming and high-energy bop by...guess. The one elf with the specs doing that one line is always a highlight, as is the elf that cut another elf’s feather on his cap.
"There's Always Tomorrow" is a dreamy ditty by Clarice in which she comforts Rudolph from the cruel taunts from the other young deer. Her VA’s voice (along with those of the background vocalists and the stirring production) bring a string tingle down my spine and can for yours as well. The big crescendo at the end is also borderline ethereal. It’s an incredibly beautiful song that tells the listener that just because today was not your day, the next just may be.
"We're a Couple of Misfits" actually begins twice in which both Rudolph and Hermey ask why they are what others think they are, and it’s very sad. But the song itself is more cheerful and encouraging, where the two take joy in the fact that they are not alone in their misery over their true selves, and even more so when they say “fuck off” to their detractors, become what they are born to be and become independent together. It’s an upbeat and uplifting track that can inspire those who are in the same predicament to ignore the haters and be, stay true and love themselves.
There’s another song performed by the dynamic duo called “Fame and Fortune”, which replaced “Misfits” in the special’s 1965 airing and for several years. It’s a bright and cheery tune about them wanting to reach stardom and prosperity. While that doesn't fit the scene or the special as a whole, it’s still catchy and the instrumental is
"Silver and Gold" is a soft, slow, simmering song by Sam the Snowman, teaching us that the titular precious metals are not what they’re really worth, and life and all good that entails are. They do make great decorations though. The song was originally to be performed by Yukon himself, Larry D. Mann, but was given to Ives because of his legendary singing career. Makes sense there, seeing as the gold miner would’ve sang a song about gold, but whatever.
"The Most Wonderful Day of the Year" introduces The Misfit Toys. It starts sad and tearful, but when you get to know them you feel heartbroken for their current predicament, but you do smile a bit knowing what happens to them later.
And finally, another song by Sam the Snowman to close out the program, “A Holly Jolly Christmas”. While it debuted during the special, it has since grown to be a seasonal classic ever since. It’s definitely as bright, cheerful, fun, exciting and (dare I add) jolly as the Christmas season itself. Ives’ voice fits and mingles well with the track and is definitely the most memorable part of the song, and was even a Top 10 hit in 2019, making Ives the oldest artist  with the longest gap between hits and the oldest artist - living or dead (at 109 years after his birth) - to have a Top 40 hit. It’s also one of my all-time favorite Christmas songs.


and now the characters I love:
Ms. Donner (Rudolph’s Mom): Her love of her son was obvious, but not being as cruel as the other reindeer make her as saintly as any loving mother would.
Clarice: Rudolph’s sweetie liked him for who he was from the minute they met, a cute deer that she could be friends with (or more). Even when Rudolph’s false fact failed and his real deal revealed, she still liked him and found the beamer handsome. She even wanted to help Ms. Donner find Ru when he ran away. She’s a very compassionate and wise doe who should’ve been of many
Hermey: The ex-elf and perspective dentist also ran away - this time from the toy factory at Santa’s village - for not being accepted as to what he dreams to be. He then meets Rudolph later on and they hit it off and trek to . He’s sweet, smart, strong-willed, sometimes sardonic and super; and his link-up and later friendship with Rudolph during the rest of the special is something iconic and forever the best part of the special.
Yukon Cornelius: This miner may be looney tunes when it comes to mining, but his unconventional style, kindness to Ru & Herm by helping them find a new living space and hyper-loud voice and hammy/cheesy speaking are infectious. And his sacrificing himself to save Rudolph and Hermey is one that gives him the right to be called a hero (even if he survives as shown later on with Bumble [how? “Bumbe]) Every time he appears on-screen makes me ear-to-ear grin, so much that he may be my favorite.
The Misfit Toys: This large commune of unique playthings couldn't be played because of their odd differences from other versions of their kind: A cowboy riding an ostrich (instead of a horse), a gun unleashing jelly (and not bullets), a jack-in-the-box named… Charlie, a polka-dotted elephant, a boat that sinks (not floats) and stammers and a depressed doll, with a flying lion as their leader. While it’s heartbreaking to see these toys in their current condition - unwanted, unloved and nowhere else to go, seeing Rudolph and Hermey cheer them up and convince them that they are the exact opposite made me tear up. And that they finally do find forever homes during the special’s close made my heart almost warm as much as Rudolph’s nose. As for the leader, King Moonracer, he’s a stubborn but caring and fair monarch, and his letting the Island’s castaways leave for their destinies is wonderful and palpable.
Ms. Claus: I’ve never seen her act harsh or malicious to any other character, let alone Hermey or Rudolph. Her meanie moment was at the start when she wants Santa to fatten up, but she was cool then and throughout.

While there were characters I dislike profusely, there are also characters I adore strongly, and the latter outweighs the former by a mile for me to keep loving the special. Also, a few words: the animation is shoddy and jerky but has its charms, the work to get the movie together was admirable, the voice work is top-notch - with most of the cash to blow on Ives as Sam (and he does a fantastic job), the songs are earworms of the very merry kind and the story sucks but the journey to the end is an enduring one. It’s not one of my very favorite Christmas specials, but it is still worth watching after all these years and something for the family to watch together. Enjoy.

Random Thoughts:
- The Head Elf is a dick, but his inflictions are a delicious riot
 - "WHY WEREN'T YOU AT ELF PRACTICE?!"
- If it weren't for their outfits, all the other elves would've looked like the mascot for the Greendale Human Beings - but with faces. In other words, they look non-gender-ish (no homophobe).
- Hermey's non-speaking faces and poses give me life. Just watch the song scenes mute.
- A cowboy riding an ostrich is super awesome, a gun squirting jelly would be brilliant at breakfast and lunch, a polka-dotted elephant or a sadsack doll would be any kid's favorite snuggle-buddy, a sinking, stuttering boat can be fun to play with when holding it, and Charlie-in-the-box...can have a different name- but Charlie is just fine.
- King Moonracer is a badass - in name, character and in form. He shall be my spirit animal of the month of December or any month ending in "-ember" or "-ry".

- As you all know recently, the Rudolph special was produced and aired in 1964, but Videocraft (Rankin-Bass as it was known that year) goofed big time with the copyright - the year used in roman numerals is MCLXIV -or 1164- MC-M-LXIV meaning this little, unnoticeable slip became a king-size snag picked up years later, proving it to be (at least without the featured music or Rudolph himself) under public domain. So if I had a YouTube show, Fair Use wouldn’t have to protect me; I can show most of it untouched and I’m good.

Thanks for checking in everyone, Come back tomorrow when the Tinselthon continues when I review another of Rankin/Bass’ Christmas classics: Frosty the Snowman.

StAbUrDaY/fRiGhT\diVe_FORTYFIVE=REVIEW: fo4r - Chance the Rapper ⅋ reppaR eht ecnahC

Mere mortals... ghosts and ghouls... damned demented derricks ... gynecologists... Welcome to your dooooooom. Also, welcome back to Saturday Night Live Review!

I hope you're feeling putrid. Because I have a roundup that'll melt your skin, rot your soul, blacken your heart... and wish you had a different career goal. (Seriously, what you do is embarrassing.) Let's take a trip down ...

for Episode 4, hosted and musical-guested by rapper... called Chance, Chance the Rapper.

The Cold Open takes us Donald Trump rally in Albuquerque, New Mexico (or as he refers it - "Albacore, tuna capital of the United States" in "by far, my favorite Mexico") where President 45 (once again played by Alec Baldwin [because fuck Match Game and all the future guest roles; all he needs is this and he's set for life])

There's so much to love here:
- Alec's continued performance as Trump
- The writing, which at this point two years ago was really written by Trump and everyone around him; the writers just enhanced it a bit and Donnie might expect residuals very soon
- The cast, especially Cecily Strong as MAGAsupporter "Christine from Los Crusas", Aidy Bryant as an even loonier supporter, Pete Davidson as an escaped fighter of ISIS, Alex Moffit as "Mark Zuckerberg" announcer Darrell Hammond as Bill Clinton and alum Fred Armisen as Turkey's Premier Erdogan.


Fave Lines:
Everything "Christine from Los Crusas" said
- "I don't care what they say, I know it's big." and
 "We're gonna ride. Kind of the only thing we do." - Bikers with Trump rep (Mikey Day)  (what's funny is how brilliant it is, being an un-exaggerated non-hyperbole on what the MAGAtards would do whether or not Trump is impeached and removed from office. These people can be and - at times - prove to be batshit insane)
-- Everything the background crowd says (proving that the MAGAnuts can be - and are - members of a cult lead by gold-snorting, tan-faced ox of a false idol they are worshiping and willing to die for to get him to even notice them for their brief, undeserved adoration. Also not exaggeration or hyperbole.)
-- "I love you. And I worship you as the one true white lord!" and everything else -MAGAfreak (Aidy Bryant)
Need more?

Another home-run of a political CO. Speaking of home-run, did anyone watch the World Series last weekend??

Chance the Rapper makes his return to Studio 8H, proving - after three stints as musical guest and one as host two years prior (doing the Thanksgiving episode no less!) - Lorne and the crew like him well enough to have him steadily appear the last several years and he hasn't missed a beat... to beat. His Monologue proves it, as it's based around his hometown Chicago's well-known moniker of/as The Second City. And for that, incensed, - and with help from Melissa Villasenor Heidi Gardner and (for some reason) Kyle Mooney - he goes to rap about his favorite things that are second nature in the realm of public opinion.



Burger King, Pepsi, Robin Gibb, Chili's, Luigi (from Super Mario Bros.), Sega Genesis and DMC (as in Run-..., over Rev Run) and forgotten and ill-fated products of pop culture like Bing, the Percy Jackson movies, Antz, Redbox, Adam Carolla, Brooklyn Nets and Scrappy-Doo (Hey, someone likes him too!! I feel redeemed!!) get a shout-out and it feels both pretty funny and pretty charming. While this has to be written by one of the writers, I'd be superbly content if Chance had a hand in the rhymes (he's quirky cool like that).

Random Thoughts:
--If you're an Outlier - with a love of any of those things, this is for you. Outside of Scrappy, I have equal measure love for or outright dislike any of these things.
--Why Chance let a white man (KyMoo) rap should be grounds for his black card to be revoked. This is the mistake we have to put up with after Vanilla Ice. (Eminem and Macklemore are excluded.) KyMoo has no thug life; he could get shot just for thinking that in a black neighborhood.
--Also, I now know what an isthmus is. Every time I say it, I feel like a grown-ass, black Cindy Brady.
--And California Dreams was my sheeeit back in the day. Random afternoon reruns in the 2000s put it on-point with me. Why isn't anyone talking about a revival or reboot of that show?? Why is that trash Zack Morris still getting head-space??
- "I was wondering, do you think I could be on your next album?"
--Heeeeell no! You're lucky you got to rap, let alone speak. Those pretty ladies got nothing but to be the scene in Say Anything. (You KNOW that scene).

--

The Sketch After is the newest, hugely popular recurring character to baffle me since David S. Pumpkins (unlike Pumpkins, I get his schtick and laughed immediately). Meet Lazlo Holmes, a correspondent for the New York regional sports network known as MSG. He usually covers legendary NBA franchise (and nationwide punching bag) the New York Knicks; but thanks to the company's other reporters leaving for reasons from paternity leave to taking to PSATs (apparently they'll cover anything and hire anyone), Lazlo has to cover their sports as well.

Holmes' first appearance had him calmly complain about the cold elements of Hockey (and his surprise that a black man actually likes the sport).

And now, he's bewildered by the on-the-rise and crazily popular... thing known as e-sports with his coverage of the League of Legends World Championship. Believe it or not... he doesn't like it.

Okay... this is hilarious. But at first, I didn't get the hype. Here's the punchline: a black sports reporter out of his element and instead doing coverage of something his race ain't having no business being near, and outright stating his distaste, perplexity for such. It's hilarious to me (and even more so that black people can and do love more than just the the B-ball, but at first I didn't think this would continue. After this sketch... I'm now convinced. And with Chance playing him instead of - say - Chris Redd (because there are enough roles for him [/s]), they don't have to do this more than once a season. It's the same setup and punchline and its more expected  here, but it still works and the jokes land well (even if I cannot possibly relate to whom now has to be the second fictional character in TV history I know of named Lazlo... after him.

Fave Lines (courtesy of Lazlo Holmes):

"I guess e-sports is what White and Asian kids were doing while Black kids were inventing Hip-Hop."

"Well, to me, this game looks like how a seizure feels. But I think if you know what's happening in this clip, you need to get out of the house more."
He says he's kidding. But honestly, he's not. But hey, at least the pay is good.

Random Thought:
S3X PANDA99 is my spirit animal from the username alone. Even if I got zero word out of anything he said.

--

Tasty Toaster Tarts
Jason might have... done something... to his parents.
But hey, he's got the Tasty Toaster Tarts!!!! DAY MADE!!!!

This pre-tape airing close to Halloween may have been obvious but it's no doubt brutally hilarious. Since you watched it, you knew what happens. Chance's performance here was well-done, both as a cheerful, excited teenage boy excited to have over friends for treats and pallin', and a silently deranged demon child who should be in Arkham Asylum and the next subject of an episode of Law & Order: SVU.

--

Spooky Song
Two white kids cavort about a cemetery, and now must listen to four ghosts' creepy compositions about their current careers as celophane-esque corpses. The third one (Chance) is the one we wanna hear about the most to his "chance-grin".

As expected, the cast must sing about brutal ways they met their maker, while host has the most revolting and embarrassing demise of all-- he got mega hard from reaching 9V batteries up his rectum and getting electrocuted from protruding a pole up his patootie on his roof, leaving him parting to the postmortem pissy/poopy-pantsy style. Yikes, no wonder he wanted to skip his turn.

Ahh, toilet humor. When it works, it works. And boy did it work here. Chance did the heavy lifting here, and carried the sketch with ease, with embarrassment easily spoken and foresight of his actions clearly streaked across his face. And the shock and disgust from everyone else is palpable. Plus, the dark setup and punchline mixed with the whimsical humor and songs

Plus, the set of the sketch is the best of them all. The fake tombstones, piano-plaing skeleton and puppet owl (whose reactions somehow remind me of The Californians) and the large LED screen displaying the clouds that create illustrations that show the ghosts' deaths are big pluses to me; and show that when the set design department are great, they're awesome. Great job, everyone. This is the Best Sketch of the Week.

--

Judge Barry
This judge has the power to preside cases judging on people's (men's) appearances.

It feels like something made with Gilda Radner in it. I liked the idea and the flying (guess what it really is) but to me the execution felt a bit off. But the turn off kiss was hilarious. And at least the lady found love... by the bartender that looked up her dress. Certainly gave him a rise up.

--

Space Mistakes

This last Pre-Tape hits the nail on the head on what could happen if you fucked up in space. Shit goes south super soon.

This is brutal to think about, but it is hilarious to watch still.
Remember that Nationwide Super Bowl commercial where the kid is revealed to have died at the end? Well this is like that if it screwed the Challenger disaster: the mystical wonder and delight of working for NASA, only for something to not go right and take the lives of everyone on board. I'd watch this if this was a dark comedy movie should it exist.

Both pre-tapes this week were very morbid and yet very side-splitting. Well done, writers for taking the PT's to some depressing places for the lolz.

--

And now,
Uncut for Ever:
Where I review sketches that didn't make the 90-minute live show.

So, ever watched those Public Service Announcements back in the day when untalented people in loud, flashy clothes overact to what was _then worst pieces of society (drugs, alcohol, sex, fire, littering) and you cringe to when someone suffers or creepily enjoys from one of them? Of course you all did. Well, this sketch takes the idea, and mockingly shoves it up its ass.

This was really funny. The pacing was slow, the direction was a bit sloppy and the lighting was bottom-notch. But all of this, and especially the acting, was intentional to prove a point in how bizarrely bad it is (beside many of the worst PSA's). The acting was terrible, the clothes were bargin-bin as Boscov's, the writing was trash, and the production rushed and sub-par Canadian children's comedy. And it all was brilliantly well-done. I wouldn't haved loved it if it made the live show, but as a cut sketch it was A+ execution.
That reminds me, I gotta watch those Smokey the Bear and McGruff the Crime Dog cartoon PSAs from the 90s. Those were my childhood.

--

Chance the Rapper introduces this week's musical guest: some rando from Illinois named... oh yeah.

He performed some new tracks from his first ever studio album The Big Day (don't worry fans, it's still self-released): "Zanies and Fools" and "Handsome" with the woman whom will at this point be forever known for "Hot Girl Summer", Megan Thee (remember the second "e") Stallion.


"Zanies..." is a deliciously hype record about his meeting his future wife at a Re/Max open house. The song is bright, ; and the performance is all-pink from lighting to dancers and the band's outfits. The showcase also featured a video of Chance's beautiful daughter singing "Impossible: It's Possible" from Rodgers and Hammerstein's Cinderella, which is sampled in the song and lifted every single one of my spirits. Chance's usual bounce, goofy rap-sings were the usual yet a nice touch, but everything else about the production felt like something I've never heard from Chance (which should say so much of me not hearing his music. Gotta change that).

"Handsome" is young typical brag rap song. Rapper says he looks hot, is rich, sees everyone as jealous of him his "talent" and his bank account, and has eyes for one girl having eyes on him. It's obnoxious but it's usual. But wow, this is uncomfortable to listen to, especially when it's made by Chance the Rapper. I don't know if he made songs like this before, but this isn't something he can make in his element (at least to me). And it shows here. Megan Thee Stallion is certainly in hers, but her lyrics (some good, others very much not) are sloppy and raunchy as her voice. She does have the energy to say them but she's more Nicki and especially Cardi than Remy (ironically Nicki did guest on "HGS", so there's that). I really like the production and work by the backup band though, so there's also that.

I hope The Big Day features more songs like Zanies and Fools than like Handsome, because despite the roller coaster feelings of Chance's musical performances, I still wanna cop the album, no matter how brutal the fan reaction was. I mean, DAYUM.

--

Well, this episode was fangtastic. The writers certainly tapped deeper into Chance's strengths as an actor for the sketches, the cast were in their Agame as always, there was some chemistry going between the Rapper and the Cast, and while there weren't any sketches that are exactly memorable (probably other than Lazlo Holmes II: Spastic over e-sports), they were still funny in their own ways.

Best Sketches:
- E-sports Reporter
- Spooky Song
- Judge Barry

Next time, it's episode 5, hosted by award-winning indie darling (and you know where else) Kristen Stewart with music from newly Five-Timers Club member Coldplay. Who knew an F-bomb actually can't keep you away from coming back? Certainly not me (... everyone but Lorne. Must be the forgiving type.)

Well, then, evil spirits, that takes care of our little rendezvous. Any last words?? Oky, Happy Halloween, everybody! Either enjoy the treats, or enjoy the trick that'll rid us of your miserable, miserly existence. Enjoy the day...

...and I'm Andrew, saying Goodnight, and "We're not judging you."

...well, I am.