Special SLMR 2017: iHeartRadio MMVA Edition

Hi, everyone.

Welcome to part 2 of our three-part series on Short/Long Music Review, where I review music tied to the big music-based awards shows in June.

Part One--based on CMT Music Awards, is already uploaded;
Part Three--to be based on the BET Awards is up next week.

This time, I’m reviewing music for this year’s iHeartRadio Much Music Video Awards.
This ceremony based in Canada, may definitely be rooted in Popular music, but also has reaches in Hip-Hop and R&B as well. But that’s not why I watch every year. Why I watch is because of the great list of performers they manage every year, the spectacular and creative stages built on their parking lot and the high caliber of excitement, wonder and ecstasy that only comes with waiting for and watching the MMVAs. And this year’s show has to be no exception; Lorde, Imagine Dragons, Niall Horan, Iggy Azalea and DNCE--along with Arkells, Jessie Reyez, Jazz Cartier and Julia Michaels and more, will perform this year and

For this edition, I’ll review songs performed by most of these artists, with particular emphasis on the lesser known big artists first, while putting the bigger artists at the end. All good? Great.

Let’s kick it off with…
“Knocking at the Door” - Arkells



While I’ve heard their name and seen their faces for years on the MMVA circuit, I’ve never gotten the chance to actually hear their output. So now, I’m giving them the listening they deserve.

This song is definitely a love letter to Toronto. It’s people, culture, personality are shown in full display; and I love every second of it. And it really shows so much other than “that one city in Canada every other person outside it knows (by extension, because Drake and Bieber (not really) are from there)”.
I love the production; the rock beat, the energy, the tone of open pride and love for something, the small but hyped-up uses of horns, and the use of random women talking with the singer in the second verse.
Max Kerman’s vocals really scream his love on his sleeve, including literally on the chorus. I love that he does that; he’s basically quiet (but progressively less later on) on the verses, but then explodes on the hook. It’s just amazing.

This is a perfect banger, a perfect city pride song, and something perfect to play during city events all year long. This is Toronto when the night is young and the party’s on; and I’ve love to be there if/when I can.

I think this band has a new fan in me from now on.
I can’t wait for Arkells to perform this live on-stage.
And for Kerman to grab some throat lozenges second after he’s done.
--
“Shutter Island” - Jessie Reyez



This artist definitely has talent flowing through.

This haunting track is about a horrible relationship where the woman suffers at the hands (in some lines, possibly literally) of her abusive significant other, while trying her best to stay for her love of the guy. This is what real breakup songs are about: the substance, the raw feelings, the intensity, the pain and the heartbreak shown on the singer’s sleeve. The actual feelings someone goes through during a terrible relationship and/or after a bad breakup are heard here; not some fairytale story that turned out to out to be a daydream in the continuing process of a dull reality.

The line “The straightjacket is custom built tho” sticks out (I think) because of it’s symbolism to the restraint of true feelings the woman goes through after a breakup or her feelings have released wide open and she’s suffering from it. It’s a powerful, brilliant line that shines on the real-life struggles women (and at times, men) go through

Reyez has a rough and squeaky yet beautiful voice, and she uses it to its full potential here and her other songs to show real, raw, true emotion and real, uncut feelings that I don’t think I’ve heard from a female singer in years. It’s a wonder why she hasn’t gotten bigger any sooner.

I also suggest checking out her other songs “Figures” and “Gatekeeper”, which are also raw, emotional, genuine, powerful and true in the stories they tell (relationships and the bad side of getting famous). I believe these songs will definitely put on the road to stardom.

I think I love Jessie Reyez. No...I know I do.
--
“Tempted“ - Jazz Cartier

I'm not sure if this is or isn't a song about messing with another guy's girl. It feels like it is, but can't be too sure. But I like it.

Cartier has a slick flow, and I do like some of the lyrics
--
“Issues” - Julia Michaels

Hey! You got problems in your relationship? Well, so does Julia Michaels.



“Issues” is about a woman going through anxieties of dating a guy, and takes comfort when learning he’s going through the same thing.
This song is just raw yet lovely. It just tells us the problems we face in a relationship: trust, common ground, arguing, being open, etc. etc. And I really like it.
The midtempo beat is nice, simple and soft, contrasting from the lyrics. Michaels sing in a raw, open, emotional tone. This track is very relatable to people who go through , and Julia wears in on her sleeve, as shown in her interview with Genius.

I’m a person just like what’s found in this song, except with lots of people. So I can like, agree and relate with this more than I’d want to. Plus, I’m happy and sad it’s a little under 3 minutes.
Happy because it’s not filled with bullcrap filler. And Sad that it’s pretty short.

--

You guys remember Kardinal Offishall? That guy who burst into the US scene in 2008 and actually made it big for a little while? Songs like
and “Numba 1” proved he had some staying power...and then he dropped off the face of the Earth into obscurity for for a nearly a decade.

Then during last year’s Red Carpet pre-show, he returned to the public eye (at least as far as I’m aware) as the house DJ and part-announcer. I didn’t notice much but it was a surprise to see him again and actually recognize him. So I’m curious to see what he’ll do back in his home turf.

--

“Mo Bounce” - Iggy Azalea

I liked “Fancy”. I hated “Black Widow”. I really didn’t like “Team”. This one? Even worse.


This song tried be like “Anaconda”. I despise “Anaconda”, so I don't like this one as much. Although it has its own original beat (even if it’s lyrics were written by 9 people), it’s not enough to be likable in my opinion. And in the opinion of the public, it was about the same. Since the novelty wore off, almost no one wanted to like or listen to an Iggy track, and it openly shows. It reached near the top of a Billboard chart… the Bubbling Under Hip-Hop chart.
So it makes me wonder why she’s still around. I don’t think I’ll ever find a song of her’s I’ll actually like again.

“Switch” - Iggy Azalea ft. Anitta


Oh...well...I kinda like this. The production is kinda kickass, with a industrial-like sound reminiscent of Kanye’s album Yeezy. And Iggy has a real good flow with lyrics in the first verse I actually like. And featured guest Anitta has very good vocals in the hook, which is really catchy.

I do hate Iggy’s delivery at the end of most of the second verse, singing (which she can’t do) and ending a syllable like a question. This is one of the tropes in modern rap that piss me off the most. Other than that, it’s an alright track that’s pretty fun to listen to.
--
“This Town” - Niall Horan



Okay; I’m a sucker for slow, humbling songs about love and togetherness, but this song is so (near-)perfect. Niall’s vocals perfectly compliment the soft, dreamlike guitar-based production, and the lyrics (while sappy) do recognize something that does happen these days--a strong romantic relationship that matters more than most things in the world (well, hopefully).

I like this one. Feels like a nice track to play for the love of your life.
(...no, I’m not pussy-whipped if you’re wondering.)
--
“Thunder” - Imagine Dragons

Yes, guys, they’re back!
Imagine Dragons are back to bring us more potentially big catchy hits.
But first, look at this high-grade Star Trek film-based fan’s wet dream of a video.



Visually beautiful, but contextually head scratching. Oh, and you can’t miss the Jeep product placement. Just like you can’t miss the song’s placement in the ads. Circle of life, amirite?

To the song however, it’s catchy. I’m sure hearing “Thunder” under a pitch-shifted voice over and over will make it so. If anything, this would’ve been an out-of-this-world tribute to the character from Bambi, and I wouldn’t be surprised. The beat is very primal and very bumpin’. The rest of it is alright; a real basic “I was a kid different from everyone else and I wanted to be something big, but they all laughed at me, but I showed them all wrong’...song. The lyrics plainly say this.
It’s super radio-friendly too. And I have never heard it on the radio before this.

Other than that, moving on to their other single that is much better.
-
“Believer” - Imagine Dragons



While not as radio-friendly as “Thunder”, this is just as primal (if not much more) and much more awesome. This track is about a man--broken inside--pissed at the world and always ready to let out his anger. That is until he meets former 80s action superstar Dolph Lundgren starts boxing. Makes sense? No. Awesome? Damn skippy.

The beat is exiting, breathless and filled to the brim with awesome. Definitely sounds like a song you’d hear in an action film or a fighting film like “Eye of the Tiger”, “You’re the Best Around”, and “Gonna Fly Now”...and not in a film like “Murder on the Orient Express” (because Why?).


I like this one a bit more, but both these songs are great start off singles for Evolve.
--
"Green Light" - Lorde



And yes, guys, she's back too.
Our Lorde and savior-ess has returned for another round of success in the mainstream--despite shitting on it in "Royals".
This song here, dealing with a breaking up with a crappy boyfriend and finding yourself in the fun world of being single, is just as unconventional-sounding yet fun and brilliant as the rest of her music. Lorde's vocals are still fresh, funky and perfect; and the beat is just as subverted and unique, yet kickass and awesome as her other singles. And just the fact that she's back just makes me (and possibly the rest of the world) super happy.

--

And that’s it for this special review of SLMR. Thanks for tuning in. And make sure you tune in to the 2017 iHeartRadio Much Music Video Awards, tonight on Much (in Canada). If you're in any country that's not Canada, go to Much.com/MMVA and watch the live stream. For optimal experience, watch the live stream starting at 6:30 on the network's Twitter page. It's gonna be so lit!

Tune in next week for the last special awards show SLMR review for the BET Awards.

Short/Long Music Review 2016: April

I want a recount!!
I want a protest!!
I want a restitution!!
I want a drink.

Why is "Panda" by Desiigner Number One on the Billboard Hot 100?!?! And why did it even blow up on the chart in the first place?? This song sucks ass! Who has so much appeal and likeness to it that they got it over so much that high?? I just don't understand it.
But we've had some other surprises on the chart over the years thanks to YouTube views being counted-standard. "Harlem Shake", and "The Fox" great examples of the Dork-ish era. And now, this song is at the top. the cream of the crop. ...More like cream of the crap.
But let's skip this piece of shit (at least until next month) for other songs that are potentially pieces of shit in my picks of interest for the month of April.

Let's start with the Top 10 from the end of this month, which has changed a bit, but is nothing much special:

--"Work" by Rihanna & Drake is STILL #1 for the entire month (which I still don't mind; it's a really fun song once you avoid the lyrics)
--Like Peter Parker beginning his origin as Spider-Man, "7 Years" by Lukas Graham has been a big riser on the charts this month, climbing up steadily across the Top 10 and making its peak to #2, before dropping a slot to #3.
-I admit, I want to really like this song, not only because everyone else likes it too (clearly). But the sappiness of it turns me off a lot, and as I've learned later on, features verses that are seemingly fake and/or annoyingly braggy. Thanks to that, I've likened this song even less.
--Beating it, though, to get to #2...is "Panda" by Desiigner.
I never wanted this to become a hit. The dark, janky beat is what you expect from other rappers' beats; the lyrics are shit and the flow is...fine. At best (or worst?), he's a knock-off of Future. And that is a reason why this song bombs to me, and yet--like Fetty Wap, he has somehow become a rising star in the music industry. But unlike Fetty--who I'm more indifferent towards, I think Desiigner sucks from the jump. This rise from near the bottom last month just frightens me. And-outside of this segment-I don't want to have anything to do with him. And yet, everyone else does, which frightens me.
--Rising to #4 is Meghan Trainor's "No", which I'm really happy about. It's the first song of hers I think is actually really good from the start. The beat is well-made, the lyrics are perfect with its concept and Meghan's vocals are some of her best so far in her career. This album Thank You better be a good one, cause I'm really excited to hear it.
--ZAYN's "Pillowtalk" is still holding on tight at in the middle #5. It's growing on me a little more, and that's all I'll say.
--#6 is "I Took A Pill in Ibiza" by Mike Posner, a single that is now his biggest since 2010's "Cooler than Me", a terrible song I kinda liked back then (I was a kid, so I had different tastes). But this is a big shock and disgust. I referenced Buckley's mention of "Top of the World" back in February, with the intent of hoping this song refutes his plan of topping charts again--but we all didn't expect this to chart as high as it did. I still don't like this at all.
Well, at least Seeso Remix is much better, thanks to the great slick-ass beat.
--Fifth Harmony's "Work from Home", #7, SUUUCKS. But, Ty Dolla $ign's verse is okay. Weird that the featured artists do way better than them in their own songs.
--"Love Yourself" by Justin Bieber's falling, but sticking around at #8. Which is still great.
--At #9, is "Cake by the Ocean" by DNCE. I still really like this.
--And finally, "Me, Myself & I" by G-Easy featuring Bebe Rexha at #10. It's an enjoyable song.

And now the songs I'm gonna review this month, because it's my thing now--conscious be damned.

Rap

We start off with two new songs from Drake via his latest album Views.
(But nether are available on YT at this moment, so let me know when that happens.)
Sooo...

I've wanted to avoid these songs for as long as I could, but as there are so many songs I've already reviewed, I have no choice.

"2 Phones" - Kevin Gates

I really have no time for this.
This sounds like the crossing sidecars in the train of thought of a . At first, I thought this song was about some dick-ass nigga cheating on his on his girlfriend. In a way it is, but also features the same old shit you've heard before with a twist that ol' Kev here has his phone blown up by his business partners, money-hungry friends and side pieces.
- Push-button-start foreign car ("Button start the foreign")
-Devaluing women ("Phone be makin' women feel they unimportant" /
"Money callin' for me, baby girl I'm sorry/Nothing but a {?}, you not that important")
-The Haters ("Hater, wish you well") [Thank you]
-Many lines about selling drugs
-Sex ("Juggin' round the city, you know what it is")
-Adultery ("Gettin' calling cards from your Barbie doll") [Calling cards?? You mean those things you buy from corner stores to call people in other countries?]

With the tone of Gates' voice, it seems like a parody song, something I'd find hilarious. But it's not. This is serious, and the dark, brooding beat proves it. And his vocals are garbage; he can't keep the same sound and flow for one verse and it changes throughout. And the singing sounds a certain type of terrible; his voice has so much force and , it ruins what little talent he has to carry it.
I'll admit, the hook is catchy, and is most definitely the reason the track's so popular. By the time the song reaches it's nadir, it'll be fresh out of people's minds and only the chorus will stay around.
I really don't like this at all.
--
"Low Life" - Future featuring The Weeknd
Future cannot stop being a black version of Ted Cruz. Hate-able, has a voice for people with no redeemable purpose in life or the future, says things that just make me wanna kick him in the penis, and has a punchable face. With "Low Life", it gets even worse. And with The Weeknd along for the ride, it just makes me grind my teeth to the bit.




This track continues this year of Future's imperial march of drugging, popping, dranking, thotting, car shilling and Auto-Tune slathered to oblivion. And this has to be the worst of his terrible trip to the top. Basically, Not-Past here is checking off what he does for a living and says he'll rep for the low life. It doesn't matter if he's a rich famous rapper staying at swanky hotels and rapping to millions of fans around the world. He's still do what he's been doing since living in the hood:
taking drugs
("I been on the molly and them Xans with your daughter"/
"Taking pain pills on the plane, getting chartered"/
"I can't feel my face, I'm on Adderall, nauseous"),
making his house look like a mini garbage dump
keeping more guns around than condoms
("It ain't stereotyping/
Cause they know a nigga keep twenty rifles/
And they know a nigga keep twenty snipers/"),
sleeping with married women because single women are considered cancer,
("If she catch me cheating, I will never tell her sorry
If she catch me cheating, I will never tell her sorry" /
"Got my baby momma and my side bitch kissing")
and destroying hotel rooms with his grooming habits
("Turn a five star hotel to a traphouse
Roaches everywhere, like we forgot to take the trash out" /
"I turn the Ritz into a lean house
This my sixth time getting kicked out")
(It's their fault they keep letting him back in).
Murder just because
("Running with the wave, get you killed quick
Shoot you in your back like you Ricky")
[Ricky from...New Edition??]

Or at least he claims to be. Yeah, he really doesn't.

So basically whatever he says he does in the song, is only a lie.
And I know Weeknd has taken drug earlier in his life, but come on. A song with Future?? I mean no. When he sings lyrics of a Future song, he makes them look even worse.
And it gets even more annoying when a line in the bridge about snipers and wifey's repeats over and over.
"Sniper, sniper, sniper, sniper, sniper
Sniper, sniper, sniper, sniper, sniper
Wifey, wifey, wifey, wifey, wifey
That's your wifey, wifey, wifey, wifey, wifey?
I think I like her, like her, like her, like her
That's your wifey, wifey, wifey, wifey, wifey?
I think I like her, like her, like her, like her"
This is the man idiots call Future Hendrix, people. Believe it.
And even worse, he claims that these lyrics are not considered stereotypes, but everything found in this song are the stereotypes. Specifically black men who take and sell dope, sleep with multiple women, shoot other men for no reason and live in abandoned houses because frugality. He doesn't even try to make it any clearer; it's just out there to fail masking the same old shit we've heard before. It's pathetic.

The beat makes it more boring than dark, and Future's vocals are laughable as usual. In fact, they make the lyrics more humorous than they seem. Roaches at the Ritz? That's Billy Eichner funny! ha-ha-ha-ha...heeh.
This song sucks ass and I expect to put this in my Worst Hip-Hop/R&B Song List.

No wonder Ciara dumped his wack ass.
--

What is there to say? Rap/Hip-Hop is still garbage.

--

Pop

Pop is better and better on the main chart this month, with songs I really generally enjoy. Fun, bouncy, catchy and listenable. Most of them, at least. Let's start things off with...

"New Romantics" by Taylor Swift



Hello, Taylor Swift. Weird to see you here again--owhoamIkidding?.
Tay-Tay has hit the charts once again during her rad reign of 1989, and this is one of the best from it.

For those who don't know, New Romanticism is a pop culture movement in the early 80s where kids wear eccentric and flamboyant fashions to match the genres at the time, as an answer to punk music and its fans. Basically it's like hipsters but more likable.

Everything about this is just great.
The lyrics are great, they're catchy as hell, the and match the feeling of getting yourself up from heartbreak and despair.
Taylor's vocals are just delicious; the lower register in the verses-what we don't hear usually in her songs-just pulls me in and holds me until the last second. And the production is some of the strongest and best of the album (or at least the singles I've heard). The fast, forceful beat is straight fun and exciting, and ensures an awesome experience with every listen. "We're too busy dancing/to get knocked off our feet"
To me, this song is yet another memorable single from TSwift's fifth album, but only the most fast and fun.
--
"Piece by Piece" - Kelly Clarkson
One of the few American Idols we still know and care about has returned to the charts. Although I almost never noticed much.



This single is about a woman's shattered relationship with father, which ruined her faith, trust and belief in love; but she's willing to forgive to begin and strengthen her relationship with her own family.

I love Kelly Clarkson. Pretty much THE American Idol, she's always had everything that made her a star (and still makes her one): talent, voice, music and writing. And her looks never mattered; I find her beautiful, but that's thing I recognize about her. And although her music now isn't as spectacular as it was since a few years ago, she's still one of my all time favorites.
And this is one of those examples.

While the writing isn't as strong as her previous songs, it's still nice and sweet with a touch of heartbreaking and heartwarming with a splash of hope at the end.
At first, I thought it was about a bad relationship with a lover (when I first heard the line "And all I remember...is your back" along with the pause, I thought 'Oh. So you remember him...for the sex?') And nowthat Ilearned whatit's reallyabout, Ifeel reallystupid andcreepy aboutit. SoSorry.

I don't feel the catchy factor here, but I still enjoy it well enough to replay. The straight pop production with touches of 80s pop is superb. And Kelly is just easily awesome as she's ever been. (Even with child, she's still got it.)

I'm just very happy Kelly is still doing well for herself, with this song peaking in the Top 10 on the Hot 100 last month. And it's good that she's a least half as relevant (deservedly) as everyone in the Top 10. And for that, she deserves to still be the star she truly is.
--
"Close" - Nick Jonas ft. Tove Lo
The little Jonas Brother probably has another hit on his hands. And with Tove Lo joining, he's got it already.




This track is about the physical and sexual desires of two people in a relationship...but the anxieties of both ruin things. So they try to mend things.

Okay, I'm not too keen on the steel drum at the start, but the hard, rough beat is undeniably awesome. And just as much is both Jonas' and Tove's vocals. Nick still has that smooth and sexy-yet-vulnerable voice and utilizes it well, while Ms. Lo has an airy, soft-as-silk voice that sounds amazing on only her. And the chemistry between them shines bright and burns hard like a thousand suns. And they make the situation believable (especially when you watch the video).
You see, Charlie Puth and Meghan Trainor? THAT'S how you make a good sex song. And you don't need to desecrate the name/legacy of Marvin Gaye to do so. (Idiots)

I really like this song.

--
"Lost Boy" - Ruth B



This is a "chick on piano" song, something some internet vloggers hate. But I kinda like this a lot. This song has a lot of emotion from a story we all know and love (mostly thanks to Disney and NBC), but the lush, echo-y vocals of Ruth B. make this work. The cadence of her voice is just lovely and

Also it's kinda funny she refers to herself as a "lost boy", because the Boy Who Never Grew Up was played by a woman in the Broadway versions, so this is kinda not a coincidence.
--
"YOUTH" - Troye Sivan



Running away from a song about sex to a song about...running away is this track by Austrailian artist Troye Sivan (first name pronounced without the "E"). It's clear from reading the title that it's about having fun at your age and running away from the inhibitions of life (responsibility). Like--you know...teenager shit.

Basically the lyrics call for "Let's explore life while we're young, prepare for what comes at us and learn about everything that makes us who we are", while it's saying "Let's get shitfaced and high! We won't care what our parents and elders say. Let's run away from responsible stuff and crap!" or at least that's what I'm getting from the video.

But it's not that bad a song. I really like the production (dream-like and buzzy) and the vocals on Troye is pretty good.
--
"Cheap Thrills" - Sia ft. Sean Paul

I generally like Sia, but I kinda dislike this song.



Sean Paul? It's been a long time since we last heard him in a song. But here, this it feels much more like a song by him than by Sia, as she has one verse repeated twice and a chorus that really doesn't sound like a song by her. Yes, there is "Chandelier", but that's different.

Sia's vocals are dull and the lyrics are even duller; laughable even. The beat, meanwhile, is very fun and bouncy, and can will be a fun track to play at parties, so the writing can be largely excused.

The track was originally written for Rihanna--and it shows (but I guess having no money just wasn't a part of the manufactured image she's portraying right now). But even if she did take this, I'd enjoy it more than the shit she's putting out from Anti right now (including one you'll see coming soon).

For Sia, this is dull, pandering sell-out material. But for Sean Paul, this is a perfect resurgence in the mainstream. And right now, I can take this. I like this.

--
"Needed Me" - Rihanna

Rihanna has another song on the charts (possibly about sex), and a music video that should make them all have ratings now. "Bitch Better Have My Money" sure paved the way.



"Mustard ON THE BEAT, HO!"

NoooOOOOOoooOOOOooo!! (sobs)

Great! DJ Mustard is back. I'm sure every suck-ass rapper and their loony fans are happy to hear. All I can say about the beat is that, despite still being as paint-by-numbers and basic as he's known for since the start, this is actually a good beat. The production actually feels more organic and fits the song. And yet, it's so fucking boring. Even "BBHMM" had more pep than this dreck.

And if that wasn't enough, this song is just like "Bitch Better Have My Money", but with a side of romance thrown in too. It's about a "real nigga" "dating" a "bad bitch" and how the relationship fizzles out, but the woman believes that, despite their many hits on random people, riding motorbikes, huffing blow and carrying guns like clutch purses, he needs her. A true Bonnie & Clyde, amirite?

The video is just fine, but since it's Rihanna, it has to have more than a minute's worth of tit shots, ass shots and a strip club. How perfect.

But no, seriously, fuck this song. It's just RiRi trying and failing once again to act gangsta, ending up a fake-ass hood bitch instead. And of course, DJ Mustard. I bet ANTI is just more of the same from Rihanna and I don't want to have anything to do with it.

--

And that does it for the Pop section. I enjoyed most of the songs featured this month, More from a production standpoint than writing standpoint. Rihanna still mostly sucks, I enjoy Taylor Swift more and more, I think Tristafe Sivan might have a couple songs on the charts before becoming an obscure memory, Nick Jonas will be still a hitmaker and Kelly Clarkson is till awesome.
I'm curious to see what next month will bring. Hope for more fun tracks.

---

Country

"You Should Be Here" - Cole Swindell



This song is just heartbreaking. And beautiful.
Cole Swindell gives us this tribute to a loved one who past away just before their bond continued to strengthened. He mentions his family coming together and reminisce about the good times they shared.

To be honest, if I didn't choose to read the comments under the video as it played, I wouldn't know what it really was about (even if it was spelled it for me). Thank goodness for that, because I almost thought it was a song about drinking beer at the honky-tonk and having some hick fun.

And even though it was short, it really packs in the emotion of songs wishing farewell to loved ones. And since I myself lost a beloved loved one a few years ago, and I first played it after the day of his death, it really hits me.

The beat is nice and Swindell give great, honest, emotional vocals. So I'll give this one a big thumbs up.

--
"That Don't Sound Like You" - Lee Brice

Remember Lee Brice? The guy who claimed he doesn't dance and would rather do anything else?
Well, he's got a middling hit about how a girl isn't herself and wants to rectify. But I bet the reason she ain't herself anymore because she heard him sing this song.



Christ, this song is boring. And apparently, it's made to make us feel like the girl to see how she feels. The production is sappy and moody, but calls for "I want my girlfriend to stop acting so glum, so I can have some fun and get into her pants again." How noble. This song is stupid, but I'll take it for not over this next excuse for music.

--

I've heard that a lot of people are less than indifferent towards Thomas Rhett. He's dull, he's terrible, he can't make good music. But I've never heard his mucic before, so I can't side with or against them. But then I listened to "Die A Happy Man"...and they're probably right.



Immediately after the first strums of guitar, this track reminded me of "Waiting on the World to Change" by John Mayer. Not a good start. In fact, he might be a country-fied version of Mayer anyway.
The concept, as fresh as it is, is simple: He's in love with his lover, and says that all he ever needs in his life is her love, and he'll die a happy man. And when you get it, I'm sure you'll smile through a quick death soon.
Uhh, guy? You do know you need more than love to live? In fact, it sounds pathetic to declare love when you know you need food, water and air to live. Creepy, even.

This is a very sweet, smooth song and a wonderful exchange to your love, but the message is just skewered to hell and back. I'd love my lover too, but I'd rather have a Quarter Pounder and a Pepsi in my stomach before I start declaring.
I honestly think he must've lost some sense in his brain before coming to that conclusion.
--
"Came Here to Forget" - Blake Shelton



I Want to Forget This.

Oh wow, this is shit. His vocals sound like he's trying to mix like R. Kelly and Luke Bryan. Of course he fails. The beat is laughable garbage, sounding more moody than it needs to be. Blake tries to sound hip and cool, and yet redneck-ish, but looks like a idiotic asshole. And the concept is so generic. He's bitter after a breakup and wants to find a new girl, who is also single. And they want to have fun. (Remind you of anything?) I can't remember anything else because this song is so crap. Can't be the Asperger's because I just played it.

--
EDM

"Middle" - DJ Snake



That drop, man.

I'm not too into this one. But the beat is very enjoyable. And the vocals from Bipolar Sunshine are pretty good. But this a song I'd rather not play on repeat any time soon.

--

And finally, I'd like to start a new feature where I review the very last song I chosen on the Hot 100 this month, called Song 100. Very self-explanatory.

First song is from the list issued the week of April 23, "Record Year" by Eric Church.



I don't know if a breakup let him to a huge start to his music career...or actually listen to vinyl records. Either way, this is corny.

While Church does great here, along with nice production, the lyrics are stupid and not at all clever. The mentions of bands and singers, along with iconic LPs on the grooves get a bad treatment from this song. He's depressed from a breakup, and needs music to get him happy again. There's nothing that makes it original or memorable.

I'd give this a skip.

--

Well, this was a productive month. I listened to some very fun and enjoyable Pop, shitty Rap, stupid country, and likable EDM. Most of them are probably not gonna be memorable for a while. But I'm more or less generally pleased. Let's hope this continues to next month.

This for joining me this month. I'm Drew, and I'll see you in May. (Actually June for May, but still...) Goodnight!

Short/Long Music Review 2016: March

Hi, everyone, and welcome to another month of songs on the charts checked in and reviewed for Short/Long Music Review.

There was some nice movement in the Top 10 in this month of March, as I’ve already reviewed most of the singles that have appeared in the top--or have risen or fallen since I’ve discussed them month.
-“Work” is still #1 for the past month (Good)
-”Love Yourself” rose to #2 (Great)
-”7 Years”-a song I don’t like much-actually rose to #3 (to my shock)
-”Stressed Out” dropped 2 spots to #4 (Grown on me)
-”My House” held on to the #5 spot (Meh)
-”Pillowtalk” dropped from the top and the top five. (Good)
-”Sorry” is still hanging at #8 (Cool)
- and my prediction just might gain some traction: DNCE’s debut “Cake by the Ocean” is second to last at #9. Hope it either goes higher or stays in the Top 10 in general.

Because there isn’t much to discuss there as we reach Month 3, I’ll just start with the bottom half of the Top 20. Let’s start with Ariana Grande’s latest single, the “title track” of her third LP Dangerous Woman.

I...don’t know where to go with this one.
When I think of a song where a woman (in Ariana’s case, an adolescent trying to be grown) turns bad, I expect the beat to have more speed and drive, not this slow percussion-heavy slow jam groove best for first-time sex with a guy picked by the music video director based off his looks on the summer ads for American Eagle.
I like the beat a lot, but it clearly doesn’t sounds like one for a song about a dangerous woman.

Also, this “stretching out the last word of every line after almost smashing the whole stanza together” thing she has going on with her vocals is really annoying. She sounds great here, but the execution is just near grating. Also near grating, the guitar solo in the bridge is clearly affected, and doesn’t sound right to me. What does sound right to me is the affected vocals at the end, which--not gonna lie--is kinda hot.

This track isn’t laughable, but it is questionable; but I think it can grow on me as the year progresses.
What is laughable is this: if Ariana wants to look like a “Dangerous Woman”, she should take off the bunny ears mask and show off a skinny, tight leather jacket and pants over a bustier on the album cover. That would be FIRE!
And that mask doesn’t make her look dangerous. It makes her look like a discount Catwoman...or a superhero (or super-villain) alter-ego for Louise Belcher...or the biggest fan of Halley from Astroblast! by ten years. (...look it up).
--
And now, Meghan Trainor has returned (even though she never left) with a new hairstyle and a new attitude to match, in preparation for her second album Thank You. And to start off the single collage around that, here’s her first single--or piece of shit on skewered feminism, depending on your view, “NO”.

When I first read the title, I thought this song would something of a female empowerment anthem discouraging domestic abuse. When I heard it, I was only a little disappointed. While It’s not against abuse, we did get something as good in showing your clear disinterest to a man who won’t quit hitting on you. Basically if you’ve ever watched Victorious, you may have heard one of the songs “Take a Hint”; it’s just like that.
I love the beat; an eclectic mix of electropop and R&B from the 90s and early-2000s that reminds me of Lauryn Hill, Britney Spears and Dangerously in Love-era Beyonce. And the lyrics are also great; pretty much showing what you usually hear in songs like this without losing the point or going overboard.

Although....one gripe about this song is this line:
“Lick your lips and swing your hips/And all you have to say is”
You ain’t gotta do all that. You REALLY don’t have to do all that. Hell, it won’t even help your case. That’ll probably just make the guy even more hornier and lustier. Just say “no” and walk away. And if the dude really doesn't give up, just throw a glass of alcohol at him and then run.
One thing I don’t like about it at first is Trainor’s vocals try so hard to emulate Rihanna’s vocals from at least the start of the latter’s career. I couldn't understand some of the lines because her voice was so thick and try-hard. And no one asks for their sign anymore.

Other than that, I really like this one. It’s much better than almost all of her singles, especially “All About That Bass” and “Dear Future Husband” and that dogshit collab with Charlie Puth, “Marvin Gaye”. If her second album Thank You (or at least future singles from it) are anything like this, then I just might like her again. MIGHT.
Shit like those can take a while to change me.
--
Fifth Harmony seems to be driving the “I’m a boss with a lot of money and a lot of sex appeal” thing to the ground (See the album cover) with “Work from Home”...which has to be the most bland, uninteresting and lifeless song I’ve ever heard yet.
And I’ve wasted a chunk of my life listening to “Only” and “Fancy”.

Okay, seriously! This is so uninteresting, boring, lifeless and laughable that--after listening to it and watching the video for the first time--it left me with NO reaction; I was left just flabbergasted and speechless.

None of the girls have lyrics that are memorable (or even more than basic), or vocals that have any personality, or much cadence, substance or even talent (surprise surprise). All of this just left my soul with the same disgusting feeling I felt from watching the pilot of Tales from the Darkside. (Seriously, don’t watch that if you don’t like horror media.)
Plus, their vocals clearly are affected, but not Auto-tuned. So of course, they have to rely on halter tops, jean short shorts under tool belts and grinding on every construction material in sight to carry the video.

As for the beat, I was left at a crossroads.
Between this and “Worth It”, this beat had nothing to offer, but I like it and is pretty catchy. Whereas with the latter, I didn’t like it, and it had more to show and is more memorable, for better or worse. But there’s one thing that’s still the same: All beats in Fifth Harmony songs are terrible and have nothing of excitement, joy or even interest. They’re just another novelty at best and a horrible girl group at worst, and I cannot--for the life of me--like or support me for anything they put out or perform.

I largely expected featured artist Ty Dolla $ign to rap(-sing) something horrible; but somehow, like Kid Ink on “Worth It”, he actually puts out something more interesting than the group. Sure, most of the verse is just “Shake dat ass fo’ me, mami”, but it left me with a more better taste in my mouth. And I really don't want what he sells.
Shocking, I know. I’d be surprised as shit if the next time I hear this, I’ll be tapping my foot in anticipation for Ty’s verse to come up. It’s shocking that Fifth Harmony can make a shitty rapper look better than themselves in their own songs. I scared for what happens next; maybe Rich Homie Quan? Tyga?? Young Thug?!?

Screw Fifth Harmony. I never want to hear or see them again.
--
“Never Forget You” - Zara Larsson & MNEK

This next song follows a basic “I’ll always love you and I’ll never forget you” formula in some songs. But this isn’t really bad. Larsson has a really nice voice, reminiscent of Rihanna but doesn’t sound forced or irritating, like Selena Gomez tried and failed to do. Also, the other artist in this, MNEK, also did a really good performance. Honestly I thought that he was a rapper or a DJ--because of his name and the appearance in the video. He has a nice voice reminiscent of Sam Smith (in fact if you didn’t know of this song, you would’ve thought that was Smith there).
Both artists are pretty talented (if not similar to other artists), but can carry this song pretty well.

The beat is one of the better parts of this. It has a nice drive that goes hard during the post-chorus, but not too hard. And it fits the concept and tone of the track well.
As for the video, it’s very creative and cute. It follows a little girl and her imaginary friend as they grow older and wiser as time passes. And throughout the clip’s timeframe, the no-so-girl and the creature grow but have still stayed together. It’s a lovely, bright visual that I’ve enjoyed watching.

I don’t love it, but I really like and enjoy this song, and I think it can become a nice minor hit as the months pass.
--
Alessia Cara is an artist I really like. You may remember I proved that in a tweet back in December, showing my love for her breakthrough "Here".

Lemme tell you right now.
I'm officially obsessed with @alessiacara's #Here. So dour, so gloomy, so anti-fun. SO BRILLIANT too.

— EDREWtorial (@EDREWtorial) December 24, 2015

(3 people liked it. She was one of them.)
Anyway, she has a new song out called "Wild Things" and I kinda like it.

Remember that line in "Here" where she mentions wanting to be with her friends and chatting about world domination:
"And we'll discuss our big dreams, how we plan to take over the planet"
She took that and turned it into a song. Which is really good.
I like the beat; the sound of what probably is hands banging on a surface and little cymbals (?) like in that "Cups" song from Pitch Perfect, but this is much different here. Also, Alessia's vocals are much more expansive, expressive and better than in "Here". I like this one a lot.

Also, I listened to her EP Four Pink Walls; and while not great, I pretty much enjoyed it is most places. I suggest giving it a quick listen before checking out her debut LP Know-It-All.
--
If you’re noticing a trend here, the last few songs I’ve reviewed were by women.
Happy Belated Women's History Month!!
--
“Sugar” - Robin Schulz ft. Francesco Yates

Robin Schulz is yet another DJ on the scene with his debut single “Sugar” featuring Francesco Yates. This song isn't much special, but is still a light fun song. There isn't much that gives off a club or a breakdance vibe (no bass or drive, just something of modern disco), but it's best for a little radio play once in awhile.

I've only heard of Yates from his appearance at last year's MMVAs, and because I’ve never heard a lick of his music, he’s mostly remembered for his nice-as-hell white-dude afro, which already made me a fan. So I had to see what this track is all about
He has a really nice voice; not extravagant, but pleasant to hear. What isn't pleasant is the guy's looks. While watching the video, I noticed that Yates does not at all look 20. He looks frickin' 12!

Like a male Annie. That's kinda scary.

From seeing the title, I’ve had thoughts of this song being similar to the song by Maroon 5, and from hearing the beat, my thoughts may not be so hollow. It goes along the same district, but thanks to the EDM feel, that’s all for comparisons.
While this isn’t a song I would break the replay button for like everyone else is on YouTube (over 150 million views as of this post), this is still a song I would enjoy in general.
Congrats, Robin.
--
The Chainsmokers have, in my opinion, made a major rebound in their musical catalog after their obnoxious abomination/appreciation of douchey self-portraits known “#SELFIE”, with two songs doing really well on the charts,
“Roses” featuring...ROZES (heeeh)

And “Don’t Let Me Down” ft. Daya


“Roses” is kinda amazing. It’s got a catchy sweet beat and a kickass chopped production that make you do the robot with each frame cut of the chorus. I don’t mind the one verse that partially repeats as it progresses; it's a really cool line to sing along to.

Meanwhile, “Don’t Let Me Down” is more darker track about trying to gain the trust of someone you love, hoping they down ruin it; with a fast, hard drive in the production to match. I love the beat of “DLMD” slightly more than “Roses”, but the drop in “Roses” is just damn brilliant. Some of the comments on YT prove it hilariously.

I really like (maybe even borderline love) these songs, and I think I can start appreciating The Chainsmokers as an EDM duo that deserves to be listened to, and not be avoided at all costs.
--
And now that the pop and EDM is over with here, let's get to R&B and Hip-Hop. And what way to start this section than with...
--
“Back to Sleep” - Chris Brown
Aww, dammit!!

My sisters listen to him. This feels like the biggest disgrace to my family.

Chris Brown continues to become a disgusting embarrassment to the R&B genre (at least in my eyes) with “Back to Sleep”, which at first glance...is clearly about fucking until the girl passes out from the vileness.
I mean, come on. What do you think this crap is about? Reading the song’s title before Brown’s name was enough of a perfect guess. But after hearing the song, I knew that his credibility and creativity has continued to dwindle lower and lower...and lower...and lower.
And the beat tries its damndest to make all this sound sensual and even sexy with a fake 90s sound, but it’s not.
Plus, after hearing the chorus, I then thought “If you’re banging her back to sleep, does this mean you suck at sex?” Because that’s my only thought. Either that or the woman wasn’t in the mood, but went along with it--which may be the same thing. ...or rape. (either way, *pbbt*.)
Ohh, and the bridge basically says "I don't care if you got a job; take a day off. We bangin' til noon. I don't care if you fired; I want to get inside you, and you're gonna let me. Got that?"
But you said earlier you'd fuck her back to sleep, which is before she goes to work. What kind of mindset do you have!? Well, probably one that inspired "Loyal", apparently.
So Chris Brown doesn't want you to work; he's spent hours away from you touring and making music, and he wants to do something important with you that he could've done at another time. He wants to fuck you. And according to him, you have nothing else to do (sleeping is that), so you must comply.
Yeah...that's rape. Well, close to that.
Chris Brown...fuck you.

Anyway, this garbage song sucks pure ass and I wouldn’t touch it with a 10-yard iron pole. But don’t count out BET still hiring him to perform this song (or any others) at this year's BET Awards. I don’t blame them; they still need someone to help keep them semi-relevant for at least one night a year.
--
“Oui” - Jeremih

Speaking of BET being desperate--Jeremih? Who? Oh yeah, “Birthday Sex” and “Don’t Tell ‘Em”.
Anyway, he somehow is still relevant and has yet another hit on the charts.
This one being “Oui”, which I think is better than the aforementioned songs and more. The soft-and-smooth R&B beat actually sounds nice and fits the tone nicely. And Jeremih’s vocals don’t annoy me as much. Granted they still annoy me since the start, but I can handle them here.
I also like the part of the song near the end where he vocalizes “Oooohh-”
This isn’t a bad song. I really enjoy this one.
--
Fetty Wap has another song on the charts called “Jimmy Choo”. And I must ask: WHY?!?

This song is shit for many reasons:
-The beat sounds like it was made in 2004
-Fetty still sounds like his mouth was filled with novocaine before he reached the microphone
-His continued use of his dumb-ass catchphrases
-The lines and rhymes are complete garbage
-Clear product placement of the Jimmy Choo shoe brand, and
-the fact that he’s still around.
This is his worst song to date in my eyes (although he’s never had a good song in my eyes ever), and I must ask another question: Why did we make him popular again? Well, no--actually, why did you people make make him popular again? I didn’t do jack shit for this to happen and I’m happy for that.
--
“Panda” - Desiigner
I wanted to talk about this song because the title reminded me of Panda from We Bare Bears.
I reeaaally wish it didn’t.

Okay. What fresh hell...
Was this...recorded by ISIS!? Seriously, who thought the bright idea was the constant sound effect of some dick cleaning out an AK magazine at target practice in Arizona? That is fucking creepy, while at the same time is annoying as hell.

The guy, Desiigner? What kind of stage name is that?? If rap is still trying to be masculine and hedonistic...this is a major example of it failing. And the two I’s? Smooth.
His voice is really unrecognizable at times; muttering every line, both sounding lazy and untalented and a fucking blessing because I really don’t want decipher. And the background voice pretending to a real nigga gansta is annoying as all fuck.

The title of the song is pretty much the musical equivalent of Clickbait. While it’s clearly not about pandas in general, I still expected something other than the usual bullshit drowning rap nowadays in this song. Which is funny because, in this song, Desiigner sounds like he’s drowning.

I hope to God that this guy will be a one-hit wonder. This song is garbage, should not have been made, should not have been popular and should not have been listened to--by me at least.

Also, that artwork? Stares at you at every direction. #Creepy
--
I can't stand Kid Ink. And I can't stand Fetty Wap.
And yet...I listened to a song by both. It's called "Promise".
I hate myself.

Fetty isn't as annoying as he is in his own songs, but it's still Fetty Wap.
And Kid Ink? He's...tolerable.
This song is still terrible. But slightly better than I thought it would be.
--
Rascal Flatts? Haven't heard that name since after they did that song for Cars.
Well, they're back with a new song called "I Like the Sound of That".
I Don't Like the Sound of This.

The frontman's vocals and twang are slightly un-listenable and all-the-way irritating and lead a thin premise that we've heard in most R&B and hip-hop songs in the last several years: killing the lonesome-ness and going to a girl's house for sex.
The production is good and the chorus is pretty fine. But this isn't a good song by them. Good thing I don't listen to them much. And Cars is a great film.
So...Not despise-able.
--
And finally, Justin Bieber has another song from Purpose that's landed on the charts. And...to be honest...I'm absolutely excited. This time, it's one of my favorite tracks off the album, "Company".

This song is the best in so many places.
The composition (it's about Justin pursuing a girl for a friends-with-benefits relationship) is really good. It's simple and straightforward, but layered nicely and very enjoyable.
The vocals (which are light and breathy in the first half of the song) are actually some of Bieber's best from the album (and maybe even his career), and definitely carries the song all the way.
The beat is awesome; it perfectly fits the tone of the track, has a use of Trap percussion that I actually quite enjoy, has a great touch of R&B, and gives me chills every time. AND I LOOOOOOVE IT!
I've listened to Purpose all the way through and I can say that this is his best album. Period. Justin Bieber has gotten better as an act and a person, and I can find it in my heart to actually enjoy him without coming close to projectile vomiting from the thought of him.
And this is one of the best parts of it. I wanted this to be a single sooo bad, and now that it is, and as he's performing it live now (like he is at the iHeartRadio Music Awards), I hope this becomes a huge hit. This is a Purpose song that has to become a hit. ...which isn't saying much because all other singles reached #1 anyway.

Special Short/Long Song Review: Birthday Song

I put myself through this. Now I must get myself out of it.

This is 2 Chainz, a rapper from College Park, GA. Previously known as Tity Boi, Chainz broke out in 2012 with a few big hits--including "I'm Different", "I Luv Them Strippers", and the song we're going into today--"Birthday Song". All of them suck. So why I talking about this one? Well...the word "Birthday" is in the title. And it's my birthday today. So...

"They ask me what I do and who I do it for
And how I come up with this shit up in the studio"
Really? I don't think anyone would ask you about your rap career, or how you would come up with such lyrical brilliance of "No Lie" and "I'm Different". Unless you really are aware that your music is shit, than in that case...

"She got a big booty/
so I call her big booty"
Classy, man. Very classy.
No you don't even have to ask her for her name. Just "Big Booty" is a good enough nomenclature.

"I'm in the kitchen, yams everywhere
Just made a juug, I got bands everywhere
You the realest nigga breathin' if I hold my breath
Referee, with the whistle, brrt! hold his tech"
--I'm...I'm not even gonna try with this one. I don't care if I could get the best joke of my Internet history with this.

"Extendo clip, extendo roll/
when ya girl leave me, she need a hair salon"
That doesn't rhyme. That doesn't fucking rhyme.
It doesn't even have the same damn vowel tones! No fucking slant will save this stupid line! It doesn't even sound fake. It sounds...bizarre. Why did he think this line is perfect for the song? And even worse, why didn't the co-writers find this a dumb line and erase it?? Maybe they were too doped up to realize it...or, in the spirit of the song, too pressed up against a big booty ho's ass to notice.

"Hair weave killer goin' on a trapathon
See I done had more bombs than Pakistan"
*facepalm*

"When I die, bury me inside the jewelry store/
When I die, bury me inside the Truey store"
Just perfect. The body of a shitty, milquetoast rapper in a store where people buy diamond rings and necklaces. That'll be the day; the main attraction isn't a beautiful ruby necklace or large-numbered carat ring, but the stiff corpse of some rapper no one remembers from some odd decades ago whose claim to . You do know mostly women goes to these stores? Also, is it "jewelry store" or "Truey store"? Or is it "Gucci store" or "Luis Vuitton store"? Choose one place to be buried; you can't have them all! You're not gonna be buried there anyway!
"When I die, bury me next to 2 bitches"
--Uhh, question: Where these women already dead? Or do you really want two living, breathing women buried alive next to your rotting corpse? Because if so...you crazy, mon! Also, they wouldn't find it attractive to lay buried next to you dead and gone and stay that way for their lives. I don't think most women would find you attractive while you're still alive.

This verse is exactly what you expect here. Just 2 Chainz making a piss-poor attempt at rapping; his vocals are so crappy, you'd think he's acting as a parody rapper; the rhymes are truly godawful (no duh); his flow is so irritating, it could removing the color off a Coffee Mug; the use of background vocals saying one word like "Yeah!" or "True!" after every line; and the beat doesn't make any of this any better--it's just a gaudy trap beat that tries to sound menacing, real and gritty, but 2 Chainz's laughable voice and flow just throws everything off.

So let's get to the verse that is just as bad as the last. From the rapper who is way more talented and perfect, yet is even more of a bigger ass, Kanye West.
"Ah, Yeezy Yeezy how you do it huh?
-Asked himself
It's my birthday, I deserve to be greedy huh?"
Whoa. Calm down, dude. This enough of the pussy for yourself. Just calm it.
"She holding out, she ain't givin' to the needy huh?
You go downstairs and fall asleep with the T.V. on"
What the fuck does that mean?! You have sex with her, and then watch TV downstairs? What, was her performance that bad you had to go to another room to avoid talking about it??
"Y'all been together ten years, you deserve a ménage
'Specially if you put that BMW in her garage
'Specially if you paid a couple payments on her mamma crib
Went to her niece's graduation, man, I hate those kids"
This has nothing to do about this song (surprise, surprise) but if it says something about Kanye, it's that he wades through marriage for good, freaky sex; hates kids; and buys a house for someone who already owns one. Man...I wish I had his life.
"Last birthday, she got you a new sweater
Put it on, give her a kiss, and tell her, "Do better""
--At least she got her something nice, dickhead!
"She said, "How 'bout I get you jewelry from the Weston?"
How 'bout she hit the 'West Inn' and get her best friend?
?I'm jokin', I'm just serious, I asked her
Don't be actin' like no actress, if we preachin' then we practice
Don't be reachin', don't be touchin' shit
We in Kanye West's Benz
'Cause I will turn you back to a pedestrian"
--Ladies and gentlemen, Mr. "Even more of a bigger ass".
All of this verse screams smug, douchey and abusive, with a side of obnoxious and dumb. Kanye just couldn't go over himself without saying disgustingly threatening statements about sex and relationship where he dominates over the woman, and how he'll threaten the woman with getting him better items for his birthday that he could get himself. And the fact that he had the balls to say he'll force the woman to get her friend for a threesome in every other line is unbelievable.
But this is what I expect from Kanye. This is what he is now. It's sad, I know.

There's another verse to this by both guys, but it's clear I don't wanna go though this sh--
"I show up with a check to your work place
--SONOVABITCH!!
(Then hand the valet the keys to the Mercys')"
--Who says that as a slang term for Mercedes?
No one says that as a slang term for Mercedes.
It's either Benz or nothing!

"Tell the DJ play your song, this shit come on
(What I'm seein' from the back I can't front on)"
--Yeah, I don't think anyone would want to call this shit their song.
Especially a song that has nothing to do with birthdays, and nearly everything with funerals and not rhyming.
"When I die, bury me inside the booty club"
--UUUURRRRAAUUGGGHHH!
"Get it girl, get it girl, get it get it girl/
I might switch it up...and get you girl"
--How about switching it up and actually get some decent rapping and rhyming skills? And not filling up lines with the same three words?
And not say "girl" like you say "God"?

"They ask me what I do and who I do it for"
How about if people ask you why you left college with basketball scholarship and a 4.0 GPA for a career in rapping that no one finds a good thing? Yeah, you'll love to discuss that.
Okay, we're done here.

This song is garbage.
Nothing here is pleasant. No rhyming, no decent rapping skills, no statements or activities worth any logic or morals a terrible guest verse by Kanye. It's disorganized, it's unorthodox, and it's a fucking mess. Nothing is about birthdays, and nothing is happy or cheerful about it. Even the beat isn't happy. And the music video (basically The Room of music videos) couldn't help make it any better (if it was ever possible). It is laughable, though.
There's nothing to remember from this, and everything to forget about. Of course this is the horrible introduction to one of the worst rappers of the decade--ever, even--so this isn't surprising.
Why 2 Chainz ever became a rapper is a mystery even Sherlock couldn't solve. He has: the writing skills that would make , flow so shitty even The Blizzard Man would laugh at him, has no rapping skills that would save his life (hell, it's better just to end it all anyway and let him die at a jewelry store like he so eloquently wishes), has the personality of a white Dennis Reynolds (scratch that, even Dennis has a better personality)--he has none at all, and no point .
He has no talent whatsoever, and has no reason to become a rapper. He should've just left college to become...whatever it is he originally wanted to become.

In short, FUCK THIS SONG! And FUCK 2 CHAINZ!! (I've said "FUCK KANYE WEST" too many times)

Short/Long Music Review 2016: February

Welcome back, everyone, to Short/Long Music Review.
This month on the Billboard charts have seen quite some movement. Some new songs have debuted in the Top 10, including one that became the first hit by the artist who, after leaving his universe-famous group, has more number-one hits than they do (ONE). (hah, pathetic!). Also, some hit songs took huge tumbles, while others rose in popularity.

Let's check them out.

Starting with "Pillowtalk", the debut single by solo X Factor UK auditionee-turned One Direction member-turned whiny, petty, wannabe emo solo artist Zayn Malik (or as he is now known as ZAYN).

This song immediately shot to the top of the Hot 100 upon release, thanks to buzz from an interview with Fader Magazine, by pretty much trying to negate everything he's done with One Direction by saying he was unhappy about it; curiosity from fans about what tones and topics will be featured in his own music, and what the former member of the biggest boy band in the world will prove in his first steps away from the band.
It's a shame that the first time I heard, because of his Irish accent, I can't understand much of what the hell he's saying. Plus, while it succeeds in conveying a sexual relationship with the fix'ins--pain, confusion, love and hunger for orgasm, along with fantastic imagery and graphics throughout; it also feels like artsy-fartsy nonsense that I think tries to teach me something about love and painbut ends up showing me that it's possible for a flower to grow out of a woman's clit while appearing in a naked, spiky-faced state used for an art exhibit at the Met.

The beat is really perfect; the slow alt-R&B production and fits with the writing and tone of the track and with Zayn's vocals (even if they're so moody, that I can't understand much of what he's seeing), proving that this guy can make decent music on his own.

I don't think this song deserved to reach number one; I don't think it has the presence and popularity to reach the top. I can recognize the reason (it become a smash hit because everyone was curious to see what the debut of the breakup member of One Direction would sound like) and can congratulate Zayn on his instant start to success. I know in my mind that what he said in his Fader interview made him out to look like an asshole, and that he should've left if he wanted to should he had the chance, but after this song and later interview with Apple Music's Beats 1 Radio, I can now see with fresh eyes and a fresher mind that he had no ill will toward the other members of One Direction and felt it was his time to depart for his own career with his own sounds and words in tow. I wish him good luck in the future.
--

"Work" - Rihanna ft. Drake

Riri is back! ...I think.
I mean, she had two other songs that would be part of the tracklist for ANTI, but for some reason they're not there. Instead she retcons everything by making "Work" the first single. And...I'm cool with that. I, at best, like "FourFiveSeconds" (almost all because of her) and I fuckin' despise "Bitch Better Have My Money" (partially because of her), so this was a great change of pace.
Anyway, this is Work, the so-called new debut single off ANTI, featuring Drake. And it's...fun. Really fun.
The beat is awesome; the soft dancehall-reggae production is perfectly bright and bouncy, and the and the chorus is exceptionally catchy. Put them together and you got a wonderful dance explosion.
It's too bad the lyrics are trash. That is if you are curious as to what the questionably-gibberish lines are and search it on the lyric sites. Some of the lines are about making a romantic relationship difficult, but staying because of the good sex, and others are just plain nonsense.
Then there's Drake's lyrics:
"If you had a twin, I would still choose you"
"Sorry if I'm way less friendly/
I got niggas tryna end me, oh"
"I spilled all my emotions tonight, I'm sorry
Rollin', rollin', rollin', rollin', rollin'
How many more shots until you're rollin'?"
Yeah, even with looking up the lyrics, this is dumb crap.
But this song is still a fun track to enjoy at the club, or a cookout, or a high school dance. Or sex.
--

"Stressed Out" - twenty one pilots

This song is just like every piece of the Nostalgia Boom: Reminiscing about how great things were when you were a child. I don't mind things like this, but these are everywhere. Excuse me for getting off-topic: but I can't go through a week without learning news about a reboot/remake of an old TV show or a sequel/remake of a decades-old movie (looking at you, Disney) or movie adaption of a decades-old TV show--almost none of which are needed, and all of which are examples of Hollywood exes running to ideas and concepts that largely don't need to be touched, instead of new pilots and concepts that should be and can potentially be new hits that nearly everyone can enjoy. We can look back on old movies and TV shows and music to love again and take us away from today and back to times when young life was fun and free and amazing--and that's just cool. But to have this mentality so clearly all the time, it just annoys me.
Which beings me to this song. It's not a bad song, and gives some new insight into memories of when one was young and reaching adulthood. I can agree that it's scary and most times, and all we can do about childhood is reminisce about it. I can relate to that jazz. But it's also weird--especially when the Video is concerned. Big Wheels? Really?

Also, this line:
"I wish I found some better sounds no one’s ever heard,
I wish I had a better voice that sang some better words/
I wish I found some chords in an order that is new,
I wish I didn't have to rhyme every time I sang"
I don't know if I should laugh and find it clever or slam them on Twitter for such laziness.

This song peaked at number 2 (a great feat in and of itself), but there are better songs from them that deserve to get higher too.
--

Yet another Justin Bieber song from Purpose is a big hit. It's "Sorry". And...I really like it. (#notsorry)

This song is Justin trying to apologize to a girl for being a shitbag; either to get back into her heart...or into her pussy.
I like the arrogant, sarcastic tone Justin shows here, trying to be sincere but can't. For some reason, I can actually get behind Justin Bieber being an asshole. (Yes, I did wrote that.) At least this is better than that little cream-puff with the swoop from back in the last decade.
The writing isn't brilliant, but is still great and super catchy.

And I haven't even got to the beat. It's fuckin' awesome. The warm and sweet tropical house/dancehall beat is amazing, and creates great vibes with every listen. I couldn't take my ears off it and couldn't stop replaying after first listen.
I never thought I would love a Justin Bieber song like I did with this, but I'm cool with it.
--
And rounding out the Top 5 (at least at the end of the month),

"My House" by Flo Rida.

Flo Rida can't stop being relevant...and can't stop sucking cow teats.
"My House" is the second single from the EP of the same name, and another reason Flo is not as great as he thinks he is. Since we all know--because of the many other songs he does--what it's all about, I'll just skip to the beat. It's a very nice and pretty catchy flow, but I don't consider it his best, which is sadly ironic as it's actually an original beat, and that his better productions are those that steal beats from other songs. (Interesting progression here.)

Also, while most of it is the same old stuff we've come to expect from Flo Rida, bit of the writing is mediocre tripe.
"Yeah, you know what we is" is the worst of them. I mean, come on. Really?

In my mind, this track doesn't sound like a regular song made for the charts--or even the album it came in. It sounds like a song made for a soundtrack for a movie or a TV show or a commercial, which explains its appearance in an ad for Pizza Hut during Super Bowl 50

(apologies for the Ad playing twice. It's the fault of the channel that featured the video)

and I'm damn sure it will be shown in a TV spot for a few movies later this year. Even if the song doesn't fit with the plot of the movie.
I don't mind this one at all. It's catchy, and not that bad a song as other people make it out to be, but it's pretty underwhelming (even for a Flo Rida) as isn't as great as...other other people make it out to be. I'll play this under a good mood, but not a lot though.

---

Now that that the Top 5 has been covered, let's get to more songs.

Pop

"7 Years" - Lukas Graham
I had nothing to expect when I first heard this song.
Then he starting rap-singing.

This song is about Lukas looking back at his life during certain parts of it.
Honestly I don't like much of it. His vocals try for sincere, but end up laughable; the production tries for soft and heartfelt, but sounds more sappy and forgettable (it has to be irritating the music box sound); and the lyrics go for honest reflection, but sound either made-up or something I can't say without people scrutinizing me for saying it (must eb the rap-singing and Lukas saying "Once I was (blank) years old" twice in some lines).
I can appreciate what the song is--an autobiographical track reflecting on childhood and growing to become what he is today, a rap-singer who one day become famous. But I don't love it. All the parts are perfect and in the right place, but the execution doesn't sit well with me. And I've heard songs like this before, and I don't think this would be a favorite.
--

"One Call Away" - Charlie Puth
Ugh.

Okay, not Ugh. This is actually a better song for him. Yes, I'm saying this despite his abomination of a debut single "Marvin Gaye", but even taking the latter away, this is way better. His high-pitched voice isn't as high-pitched and whiny as in "See You Again", and the plot (doing your best to be a great friend to a shy, mousy girl) is kinda heartwarming, if not really sappy.
There are a couple minor annoyances:
-The line "Superman ain't got nothin' on me" irritates the crap out of me (Hint Hint: No, he doesn't), and that's not including the times the chorus comes in the song.

This came close to cracking the Top 10 so far, and I'm actually happy about that. It's actually a good song by Puth and should've been true debut. Granted it wouldn't be a talked about as "Marvin Gaye", but...I don't care.
--

"I Know What You Did Last Summer"
Shawn Mendes & Camila Cabello
What is this?

This song is about two people in a relationship pondering what the other is doing, and trying to pry the truth out. The thing is...

There is so much wrong with this.
1) Camila Cabello, who I think is the worst member of Fifth Harmony (a bad girl group in and of itself). She doesn't have a great voice, which sounds robotic and uninteresting. She tries so hard to have a cutesy, baby-like voice like Ariana Grande; but Ariana does it better, as Camila ends up sounding on the level of a kitten screeching in a boiler room.
2) The writing, which tries to explore a dark aspect of infidelity in a relationship, but ends up straight hokey.
3) The vocals of both singers don't sound believable. They try to be convincing about the subject at hand, but I really don't buy it.

Also, the composition contains elements of Bill Withers' classic "Ain't No Sunshine", a way better song about heartbreak after a good relationship. Why? This wasn't needed, and I don't think even Bill Withers himself would be flattered with a writing credit on this.
Seriously. This song is terrible.
--

Here are six words you never expect to see: Mike Posner's back on the scene.
He's got a new song out called "I Took A Pill in Ibiza", and it's exactly what you think.

At first, it seems that Posner wrote a more sad, personal track about the bad side of a music career. But then you realize he made "Cooler Than Me", "Bow Chicka Wow Wow" and--if A Dose of Buckley's "Ten Worst Songs of 2014" video is taken to consideration--"Top of the World"; he's never going to do that. Never going to try to put out his soul for everyone to hear and sing about a painful moment of his life he wants to get off his chest. (Hell, I would enjoy "7 Years" MORE than whatever mess he'd concoct here.)
He's sad that he's not popular anymore and to stay around, he gives up most of his material possessions and goes around the world to tell people who somehow still know him to not go where he went like a fricking after-school special. Boo-fucking-hoo.

Dude, you've done enough to get yourself into this. You were a novelty act with a few popular novelty songs. Then your time went up and everyone went to the next novelty. Now you made a song about downing a drug you didn't know was by some manic fan you didn't know and felt shitty about it, expecting to feel sorry for you. Other famous singers wrote and released songs way more serious, powerful, heartbreaking and therefore better than this crap. And it isn't going to be the one to get you over the top. At least not here, as this became a big hit in Norway and the Netherlands (although that has to be because of the EDM version by SeeB which isn't that bad).

I can only wonder how this guy still has a career, when most of the songs he makes are crap, and charted like crap. Well, that line in the latter song "I could *fart* on the track and it still " proves it. I find it annoying that he's out in the world, not a care inside, doing whatever he wants, and making music that's uninteresting, soulless, shameless, unintentionally hilarious and undeserved of being hits.

Mike Posner...go away.
--

A "great princess" once brought unto us this rimesless phrase "Qu'ils mangent de la brioche"--when the village peasants have run out of bread--traditionally translated to "let them eat cake". I'm sure we of today would definitely eat cake to this next song, "Cake by the Ocean" by a band headlined by boy band veteran Joe Jonas, DNCE.

While this band has been a thing for a while now (since last September actually), I first officially met them during the broadcast of Grease: Live back last month. So I decided (days later) to play their EP SWAAY and check what they're about.

Their big hit currently is "Cake by the Ocean", which I first assumed was about a strange summer fling at the beach with more than just sandwiches and sody pop in the basket. And if a theory about that title--meaning "a slang term for 'sex on the beach'", which is thanks to the producers misunderstanding of the latter term--is true, it makes so much sense.

It's surprising I kept hearing this song in an ad for Sprint that I kept skipping on YT, and never realized it was their song. But hey, "better late than never", amirite?

But in all fairness, this song is awesome.
It's really fun, really wacky, really catchy and really sweet...like cake. The beat has an awesome funk and new wave groove that can create a perfect vibe the second it starts; the lyrics are goofy as fuck, but also works in continuing the vibe and are super catchy; and Jonas' vocals make it clear the guy is having the time of his life singing, just like the band is for playing it, and just like you will once you play it.
All of this is perfect for a good time..and any other time; just play it, and your mood is always on the up and up.

I believe this song could--can--will become a big hit come Springtime (already by the end of the month, it cracked the Top 10), and has some true potential to hold on through this Summer. I really think this song can and will be a big hit--it deserves to. And maybe just make my list of Best Pop/Indie Songs of 2016. Well, if I do one.
--

Coldplay has returned with another song with expansive and wonder-filled production and vocals from Chris Martin that will take you to another place in "Adventure of a Lifetime".

Honestly, this is one of their best singles in a while.
The beat--which sounds nothing like what they've usually did before--is mesmerizing. The elements of disco is a wonderful surprise and perfectly added. And Chris Martin Kratt's vocals perfectly blend in, giving off a vibe that he's having an amazing time while recording.
This song is very cheery for pop, very light for disco and very groovy for dance--and it all works. I know this track will become a hit later through the Summer.

---

It's funny we end one section with Coldplay, and start another with Drake, was we reach this month's picks of fuckin' chicks and suckin' dicks. It's time for...

Hip-Hop

starting with...

"Summer Sixteen" - Drake

Oh my God, this song is awesome.
The energy he gives is FIRE. He spits FIRE too. Those raps he spews just takes away all my reservations about this and his other songs and make me a true fan.
Just read all of these.
"To do what you couldn't do/
Tell Obama that my verses
Are just like the whips that he in,
They bulletproof"
-
"I coulda killed you the first time/
You don't have to try and say it louder nigga,
Trust, we heard you the first time/
It's nothing personal,
I would have done it to anyone/
And I blame where I came from,
And I blame all my day ones
You know Chubbs like Draymond/
You better off not saying nothing"
-
"All you boys in the new Toronto
Wanna be me a little
All your exes know I like my O's
With a V in the middle"
-
"How am I keeping it real
By keeping this shit to myself?
You was never gang, gang, gang, gang
You was never one of us
Had us fooled for a minute there
Now we done all grown up
But I'm better off anyway
Y'all never gonna finish Drake
Say you seeing 'bout it when you see me man
Y'all never home anyway"
-
"I used to wanna be on Roc-A-Fella
Then I turned into Jay"
DAAAAAMMMMNN.
(Also, the lines about his pool being bigger than Kanye West's was hilarious.)
Basically what he's saying is "I'm better than most of you, and y'all niggas ain't got a chance".
And quite frankly...I can believe him on that.
Hot, witty, quirky raps, the speed like a NASCAR driver at the Indy 500, the cockiness of Kanye (with even less of the ego), and the return factor that makes him even better.o
Yes, I think Drake is even better than ever ("Started from the Bottom" definitely aside.)
, , And the way he says the line "Lookin' for Reveeeeenge" was corny (but a good kind of corny), but also really catchy.
This has a big mixtape vibe (thanks to the beat--a slowed-down sample of "Glass Tubes" by Brian Bennett and-of all things-"The Question Is" by The Winans [the comments on both linked videos is unbelievable]), but is perfect for the radio. I'd definitely turn this song up anywhere I am.

Brag songs in general annoy me a bit, but honestly I can get behind a Drizzy brag song.
If when he said "I take any skeptic and turn 'em to a believer" to you then, you really wouldn't believe him.
If Views from the 6 is anything like this, I'd so cop it--illegally of course.
--

This, though, I wouldn't give to my worst enemy. He'd probably like it.

This is "Best Friend" by ... Young Thug.

...and I don't wanna play this shit.

And this...

isn't the only reason why.
Being John Malkovitch, the video is not.
--
And speaking of shitty music videos trying to emulate what partially made the 1999 film a masterpiece...

Here's "Watch Out"--by the Young Thug of 2013, 2 Chainz. A questionable song in its own right

To be honest though, the difference, between these videos, is this one is intentionally absurd, and because of that, it's actually kinda funny. And the song, despite sounding like the background music on a Wii game, isn't that bad. Sure, it's a bragging song, but the humor in it shouldn't be something that you can't angry over. And it get on my nerves, but but doesn't go off the deep end.
I still don't like 2 Chainz, and would avoid him on many costs--And I despise Young Thug, and would avoid him at all costs.
--


--


--
This next song, "Antidote" by Travi$ Scott is a big opposite.


Despite the extremely obnoxious use of Auto-Tune, the annoying lines about taking your girlfriend, popping pills, haters and their incessant hating and the many lines about "the nightshow" (including just "the nightshow")... I can handle this one. Mostly because of the beat.

That's it. Just the beat.
--
"$ave Dat Money" - Lil Dicky feat. Rich Homie Quan & Fetty Wap
This has to be a joke. (Okay, it is, but still...)

And he's white. Honestly I thought that was a shitty black rapper just now getting famous. But, nope.
Shouldn't you guys condemn him for stealing the right to take on our genre, and make shit like this? But, honestly, this is kinda funny. This song tries to be a more raunchier version of "Thrift Shop"--saving money by doing very tightwad-y things to either save or stretch a dollar, and in its form, largely succeeds.
Dicky's lines...are pretty funny, and I can get through the annoying voice, showing this is to be funny.

On the other hand, there's the featured artists--Rich Homie Quan and Fetty Wap, still mumbling their way through bullshit to the bank. Really. Even with a song parody about not doing such things, they still can't go through it without mentioning the paper, fuckin' bitches and some shit. Hell, he even mentions that in Quan's voice, and cuts it short. (Good, that guy is creepy as fuck.)

I also find it ironic that this song about saving money from mundane ways of blowing it away, features rappers who rap about doing such things and have rapper names that indicate such.

But anyway, I like this song. It grew on me, and I can get with it. Just yes to Dicky no to Quan and Fetty, though.

---

Okay washing my hands of the mostly bullshit, let's get to...

Country

where we have some newcomers to the charts, all making measly gains in 80s section after a couple weeks of life.


Kicking off this genre section, we have Chris Young and Cassadee Pope teaming up for "Think of You", a song about what used to be and what is broken now in a relationship.

In terms of vocals, both artists have a twang in their voices that almost make the lyrics indecipherable. Also, speaking of "empty space", there isn't much chemistry going on here between the two; I actually feel empty space between their vocals. And it's not just them recording their vocals, and the mixers put them together. Plus, the production is pretty bland; the muffled drums, weak guitars, no bass, and not enough punch or drive to show. I know that it's hard to move on after a strong close kinship, but this song doesn't really show it.
But despite all that--and the used up trope of the way things were and what they are now, This song is just fine. Mediocre, but fine.

Also, if my friends ask me about my ex, I'd rather just tell them we broke up and just move on from it. "If you wanna go see her, go ahead. Just stop thinking of us being together, you weird fucks!"
--

And if their situation ever continued into one like this, as shown in Dierks Bentley's "Somewhere on a Beach", the girl deserved to leave.

Really? Fucking really?? Do you really need to brag your ass off to your ex about how you found a new girl that is seemingly better than her? Do you realize that you and this girl are in a relationship just fir the fuck of it? No, not for love or emotions or a kinship. Just " she goes to the clubs and party, she got a hotter body, she's much more fun, she's a great drinker, she fucks me great"--blah blah blah. This is disgustingly obnoxious and painfully hilarious.
The tone on Bentley's vocals sounds embarrassingly cocky and arrogant, and the lyrics try to paint the ex as the bad guy; when it only makes her look she's just the used car in Dierks car garage of relationships and the new girl is the hot new sports car. But I can't see this, because he's acting like a huge smarmy lame asshole douche mocking her by showing off his new lover like a trophy--which I think she is portrayed. And all this makes me feel sorry for the ex, because there is nothing in this song that she's done as the reason as to why she and Bentley broke up and he's off railing the hot alcoholic freak of his new chick.
Plus, the production doesn't match the tone and lyrics at all.
It calls for "the end of a relationship, and it's hard to move on but it's time for a drink at the bar", but the producers didn't realize the lyrics call for "the end of a relationship...it's time for a drink with some slut that has good pussy and smoking hot tits, so forget that other girl and fuck her".
Yeah...this song is morally bankrupt ans boring as hell.
In short, it's a country-fied "Hotline Bling" with more clarity and a new girl thrown in.
FUCK THIS SONG.
--
Tim McGraw is back (possibly again), and he seems grateful, humble and kind for how far he's become in life thanks to the people who brought him there life with..."Humble and Kind".

I like this one. The soft, slow, yet rising, stirring and powerful production just moves mountains for the concept--which, while small, works wonders. McGraw looks back on his life and feel grateful for the lessons and messages of wisdom from family (especially his grandma) and the people in his life for supporting him throughout his endeavors in life. What else there is to say? I like it.

---
Okay, I usually don't listen to gospel songs voluntarily in my life. Usually, my mom turns on to the stations where we live and they're on for hours. No changing the dial, it's all we can hear. I didn't mind it when I was a kid, because I actually enjoyed them. But as I got older my like and enjoyment dwindled significantly. There were more songs I didn't listen to than songs I did want to listen to. But understandably, that's because most of them are repetitive in their topic and try so hard to be relevant and down with the young ones.
But last year was the year when I had to be disgusted with contemporary gospel music, because most of them try so hard to pander to a different crowd. The young crowd that likes hip-hop. Yeah, really.
These songs sound so terrible being two different things at the same time. And being two different things THAT SHOULDN'T BE TOGETHER!! One example is Erica Campbell's "I Luh God"
(and no, that's not a typo. That's how it's written)

This song tries so hard to be hip with the young crowd by making everything this way.
Starting with this awful beat is trash. This light piano melody and trap percussion is just laughable. Even DJ Mustard could giggle at this gunk.
Then comes Erica's vocals. I listened to a lot of Mary Mary songs when I was a kid, and I always noticed that both ladies have spectacular voices. Listen to "Shackles", "Get Up", "I'm Walking" and "God in Me" and you'll see how amazing she is when she sings. Here, this is just embarrassing.
Trying to act like a gansta rapper with your vocals (or whatever the heck that is) makes you like a joke, especially compared to your previous singles.
And the lyrics are even worse. Mixing lyrics about our Lord and Savior with the mannerisms of a rapper is just pure garbage juice. And those aforementioned other songs are way better at being hip-hop-ish than this.
And then, there's the video, which looks like a parody of rap songs while being as pure as possible, but this is serious. All of this is hilarious: A woman with a large wig, a lit-up E, a girl wearing a hat tagged "Selfie", a car, and all other nonsense that just screams something Funny or Die would make up. Maybe a comedy skit at the Dove Awards (a ceremony honoring Gospel music) like Taylor Swift's "Thug Story" for the CMT Music Awards. (I wish) And back to DJ Mustard, there's even a fat black guy in the clip who looks like him, shouting "Love im, I love im" over and over, which is extremely annoying.
All of this make this song inexcusable Gospel. And I understand who would like this, but I don't understand why they would like this.
She had this to say in an online interview:

"They're used to (me) very pulled up and polished and singing 'Yesterday' and 'Help.' But, I just wanted to have fun, declare my love for God and at the same time reach an audience that I think the gospel community sometimes ignores. There is Christian hip-hop but I feel that more Caucasian children gravitate to it. So, I figured, you're my people so, let me get with my folks!"

"You're my people. Let me get with my folks."
Most of your folks would not like this. And they would laugh at this.
Erica, you're great at being polished and pulled up. It shows you have a wonderful voice and spirit, and that you can make great contemp. Gospel music. But if you're going to make crap like this, I won't see you as one of the best at this genre. Fortunately, this is only one song.

Well? Ehh. I really enjoyed some songs, but I was only overwhelmed in a few places. There is a lot to be happy about production wise, but I couldn't overlook some blandness and uninspired tripe in the writing.
-Pop has really expanded, dusting off a few old genres and making them new again, and digging deeper into others, which I do appreciate.
-Rap is still shit, filled with lines worthy of jail or a shooting range and beats worthy of an online third-party beat-making website or app.
-Country still has the mentality of morally-absent rappers (in some places) and boring beats that make you pass out then feel like you've been molested. ("Humble and Kind" is pretty good.)
-And stay away from whatever the hell genre "I Luh God" is. Or, to make it easier, stay away from Contemporary Gospel entirely.

And that does it for another month. See you all soon.