Sealab 2020: Andrew Applauds Animation

Morning, class! Today we're taking a trip to the Challenger Seamount to meet the crew at work and witness shark attacks, oil spills, bounties on marine life, malfunctioning submarine destruction--  wait, what!!

Hey, everyone! I'm Andrew and I think it's about time I review a classic cartoon from back in the day. Waaaaaay back in the day.

It's Sealab 2020.

The Show:

Welcome aboard Sealab, a research base on the underwater Challenger seamount. Found on the base are a small but brilliant 250-strong group - men, women and children -  dedicated to the findings and cultivation of the newest scientific discoveries contingent to our world’s natural future. But in their mists are unforeseen threats -- shark and squid attacks, oil spills, environmental  catastrophes, threats to marine life, etc -- challenging the crew to their limits, but always coming out on top, with all lives spared. It IS Hanna-Barbera after all.

Created by Alex Toth and produced and directed by William and Joseph themselves, Sealab 2020 takes place at an underwater research base and features the adventures and tribulations of the people who work and live there, both of which in the year… 2020. The series, produced by Hanna-Barbera Productions, aired Saturday mornings on NBC from September 9 to December 2, 1972, lasting for one season of 13 episodes.

The Plots:

Sealab 2020 is one of Hanna-Barbera’s few animated series that is a full-blown drama. Although it has some genuine humor in a few scenes per episode, it is still a more serious affair.
Each episode features the crew going about their lives and jobs to find, create, cultivate and/or protect (or a combo of the four) new and old discoveries throughout the ocean blue in very serious plots pertaining to our environment and the lives of our aquatic friends, but also features genuine threats to indefinitely throw Sealab and its human inhabitants into disarray. Sea animal attacks, natural disasters, and random damages to Sealab, its inhabitants, and the Challanger Seamount make up a majority of the series' plots. Specific plots include a hunter planning to kill a blue whale as a whale expert and his son arrive ("The Singing Whale"); Hal and Gail are trapped in the home of a squid while trying to install a seismograph unit ("The Deepest Dive"); Sealab is damaged by an anchor and flooded ("Green Fever"); the crew try to stop and delay an unauthorized oil drilling but the workers ignore the warnings to their detriment ("Where Dangers Are Many"); and a malfunctioning sub destroys the edge of Seamount and threatens Sealab ("Collision of the Aquarius"). But in the end, our beloved crew always find a way to save their base/home and the friends and surfaces that depend on them for their survival.

These plots and environmental Aesop per episode may make for a boring, uninteresting and forgettable cartoon. But despite them, the series is actually incredibly entertaining. The conflicts in each episode do leave you at the edge of your seat, the action surprisingly exciting, the thrills are low-key exhilarating, and the day-saving climax is amazing and a breath of fresh air. And there are some fun moments and funny jokes in between that give you a breather before and after the conflicts.

Characters:

And now, let’s meet your Sealab crew

(well, the ones that talk a lot, have names & appear throughout):

Dr. Paul Williams - Sealab’s lead scientist
Hal Bryant, Gail Adams & Ed Thomas - the three lead junior scientists
Lieutenant Sparks - Captain Murphy’s second-in-command
Ms. Thomas - teacher and Ed’s mother
Robert “Bobby” Murphy - Captain Murphy’s grandson
Salli - Bobby’s best friend
Jamie - short blond friend of Bobby & Salli, and
Captain Michael “Mike” Murphy - head of Sealab’s security

While this group of merry men aren’t as zany or goofy or over-the-top as the casts of other H-B cartoons, they are still well-written and really well-rounded. 

-- Captain Murphy and Dr. Williams are very cordial and respectful to one another and take the other’s high position in Sealab into strong consideration. And when a major threat looms, both men converse (mostly in the Captain’s security quarters) to figure out how to suppress and solve the conundrum).
-- Each of the three scientists have some nice chemistry
--- Hal is sweet and gentle with a heart for sea animals ("basking sharks are like the puppies of the ocean.")
--- Ed is cool and sharp-witted with a touch of snark (and zero jive, thank God)
--- and Gail is strong-willed, confident and rises up to the challenge as well as the guys
-- And their relationship with their boss Dr. Williams is built on trust, respect, admiration and care, with no examples of criticism, admonishment or shame.
-- While they aren’t shown together more than a few times, Ed and Mrs. Thomas does have a good relationship as mother and son (and no, not husband and wife as some assumed -- ew.)

Also there are other characters in minor speaking roles, but you won’t see them in more than one episode.

One of my favorite elements of Sealab 2020 is its grasp on realism. Okay, future year aside The main characters are very smart people who handle their positions within Sealab and the challenges that befall it and them very well. Unlike the characters of most other H-B cartoons, they don't do ridiculous slapstick or physical comedy to reach the solutions to their problems and the climax of a given episode. They use realistic ideas and plans to save the day.

Animation:
Taking away the obvious factoid that many cels are recycled many times here (as per H-B’s wont), the series’ ink and pain look amazing. While everyone looks like normal people who would work at/live in an underwater. No black dots for eyes, no skinny body frames, and everyone does their job with decorum, professionalism and respect (for themselves and each other). Plus, thumbs up to everyone for the characters not wearing the loud, colorful and extremely dated fashions and styles of the decade (... well, hairstyles aside).

The animators do a great job of Sealab not being too futuristic. Yes again, it does take place in another year in the future, but please bear with me. Most depictions of the 21st century (specifically the designs of city buildings, the fashions, the technology, the human behavior, etc.) in TV and movies before, during and even after 1972 make every year in it look and sound way too strongly from a sci-fi comic book or novel. And as a human realistically living in this century, story aside (except for comedic ones), all of these depictions make me laugh till my guts hurt. So it’s refreshing to see a version of 2020 that doesn’t look like almost all the rest and instead go for a lighter minimal tone that focuses on the walls, inhabitants, adventures, conflicts and (although the jury’s still out on those water-cars).

Conclusion:

In my opinion, Sealab 2020 is a very entertaining Saturday morning cartoon in its own way. As a more dramatic production, it’s not like… literally every other SMC on that year’s schedule (whether on NBC or the other Big 3 networks), but it works in its favor. Some may see the pro-environmental slant and Aesops as boring and preachy, but to me they do help getting a message across to treat the planet much better (as we need it to live and breathe, rather than it needing us to walk on). And the outdoor and action sequences are no slouch in keeping me interested and invested.

I’ll be honest. I’ve never heard of Sealab 2020 throughout my childhood. If there ever was a time I watched it back then, it’s safely vaulted in the back of my mind. Heck, even other H-B shows of the decade got more clearer recollections ; late night airings of Devlin, Speed Buggy, Super Friends and Banana Splits; and even ToonHeads, Speed Racer, Rocky & Bullwinkle, and freaking Wait Till Your Father Gets Home on Cartoon Network back in the late 90s and early 2000s (and that’s if I’m lucky to stay up some nights) were what I got to see to my quiet prepubescent delight. The reason I do know of it now was… when I looked it up and watched it this year. Sure I was lucky to stay up and watch a certain parody of it when it debuted in 2003, but even then I had no idea that it was spoofing this show; I honestly thought they were drawn that way!

But I’m happy about watching & appreciating it now as an adult over never knowing it existed.

And that's my review of Sealab 2020.

Thank God the staff didn't write in a viral outbreak because it would've been depressing prediction gone true. Plus, if this series was just as iconic as other Hanna-Barbera shows (and of course no pandemic), we would've had a Sealab of our very own this year.

Thank you all for checking in, and thank Christ that the namesake year it took place in is over. It was a dang awful, unbelievable and heartwrenching year, and no doubt we've all suffered (myself included). But 2021 is around the corner, and as long as we keep the faith, stay safe, be kind(er) to and look after one another, and take the vaccine, we'll all get through this. I think we all need a win, and if we contribute well to the betterment of society and not be crap to each other, 2021 may be a colossally amazing year. We shall see.

Thanks again. I'm Andrew saying be safe out there, and love yourself and each other.

And may the good toons be yours....

SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE 46 REVIEW: nine - Kriisten Wiig IV & Dua Lipa Deux (The Christmas Episode)

Merry Christmas week, everyone!

And yes, this year, we certainly need a little cheer, holly, jolly, noel, mistletoe, yada-yada-yada and an state-load of the egg nog Timmy Turner's Dad loves to get us through the fifth circle of hell shithole we still call 2020 (and when midnight hits on January 1, we no longer call it that). 

But until then, as many of the holiday TV specials and movies we love, the music we always listen to every year anyway but find the right time to now, the stuff we buy from stores before we wake up in buyer's remorse and (at least for me) enjoy the last episode of Saturday Night Live.

Speaking of which, I feel it's time that yours truly spin you a tale in which a long-time dream of mine finally came true. And yes, it invloves this very show.

It was March 6, 2018. Your ol' pal Andrew was in New York City for his 24th birthday. After living the sights, sounds and smells I've always heard about on TV and in film (just the good and funny parts), I got to go on the famous tour of NBC Studios. The stops on the tour were Nightly News, what was then that failed experiment to make that Fox News loon seem talented known as Megyn Kelly Today and Late Night with Seth Meyers. The last stop was none other Studio 8H... or at least, the doors of it, as they were preparing for a show at the time. But the fact that I was there was wonderful enough. Oh, I was also involved in a part of the tour where you can host your own talk show, with a band, studio staff, a guest and an audience. I was... okay. Overexcited but okay. I was aiming for early-Tonight Show Jimmy Fallon. But walking to those doors would only foreshadow what would later become, for me - Andrew, a dream come true.

It was Friday, May 10, 2018. Your ol' pal Andrew was chillin' like a villain at home, doing what all mild people on their time off at work do -- masturbating to anime characters in their underwear under the air of occasional loneliness and shame. I'm kidding. I do that every other day to regular cartoon characters in their underwear. Kidding again! (...or am I?) Actually, I was sitting on the living room couch surfing the web when I got an email from some department at NBCUNIVERSAL informing me that I had won a ticket to a taping of Saturday Night Live. I just about hit the ceiling! (Not literally because my place is a rental.) As revealed in the email, the taping is the dress rehearsal for tomorrow evening at Studio 8H in NBC Studios on 30 Rockefeller Center. I was so excited, I just accepted the ticket and didn't plan out everything. Since it was my first taping just 24 hours away, how could you? I just grabbed the best transportation money can buy on short notice -- Chinatown Bus. (And it you have a random trip you must take the next day, go to them. They gotcho back!)

The day finally came. I barely could sleep; the jubilation was on overload. When I boarded the bus in the best duds I owned (a loud blue sweater, a cheap gray blazer, church pants and shoes like they're from Ross, and a tacky blue shirt and tie [I worked at UPS at the time]), all I could think about was that I'm finally gonna be in the audience of one of my favorite TV shows. When I finally reached New York, my grin was about as wide as the Grinch's, but not as yellow or full of bugs. Stepping out of the bus, onto the subway and into 30 Rock, I could barely breathe because ny heart skipped a beat too much to count (not serious as a heart attack though). After walking actoss the areas I could walk to pass the time (the common shopping arear and the Shops at NBC Studios), the time finally came to come. After waiting in their guest waiting room and finally returning my ticket, I was in line for SNL's dress rehearsal.

After going into the elevator and walking down the hall, hearing the beautiful music of the SNL Band, I was finally living a dream I've had since I've watched my first episode - over 13 1/2 years earlier. I am here. I got to sit on one of the yellow baseball stadium seats overlooking the studio. It is... smaller than it was on TV (then again, so is every one of them). Other than that, I was witnessing glorious television production unfolding before my very eyes. The host of the episode was legendary award-winning actress Emma Thompson and musical guest were legendary (for Radio Disney) boy band Jonas Brothers. I still couldn't believe I was in the same room as Nanny McPhee and the guys who sang "Year 3000", "SOS" and "Burnin' Up". But it happened. Here's what I saw that didn't air on TV. Michael Che hyped us up, then Kenan serenaded us with "Gimme Some Lovin'" with Heidi Gardner, Melissa Villasenor and Ego Nwodim on backup vocal (they were smokin'), and then after a few minutes and the iconic countdown (FIVE SECONDS!!), the dress began to form. While most of the sketches you  in that episode where performed, there were a couple that didn't make it. There was one involving a woman making a speech at a classic toy celebration (I think the Toy Hall of Fame) honoring her creation - Ms. Potato Head. It wasn't great but I did give a few laughs, including her putting on the hat and glasses that make up the toy.

The other sketch was one of those sleepover sketches in which the girls play Ouija and conjure up a female demon from the netherworld, only for it to whine about not being invited to some in her shorter years. This very sketch would later be retooled into one of those that did make the cut on the next episode, the season finale hosted by Paul Rudd.

Also just before one sketch mocking the goof seen during that episode of Game of Thrones with the Starbucks cup, Kenan and Ego waved to everyone above where they were standing -- including me! Everyone waved back. I waved with both hands separately like a damn spaz.

Also, I'm proud to say, I lived my life being in the same room with two of the best ladies Lorne has ever hired for the show (and two of my favorites ever), Tina Fey and Amy Poehler. 

So in short, my dream came true, and I had the time of my life, I could never have a TV experience like this ever again (unless I go to an awards show) and I will never forget it. Even if I had no time to catch the Chinatown Bus back home, freaking out on the streets I didn't live in, losing a lot of money (includingon a gift for Mother's Day), evading, and ending up spending the night in one of the most terrifying places on Earth to not do it -- the Port Authority Bus Terminal! But... if I had the chance to do it again. I'd do it again. Just with more money.

And that's the story of yours truly going through hell to get to TV heaven. And speaking of TV heaven, former cast member Kristen Wiig hosts the 46th Christmas episode, and Dua Lipa is the 46th merry musical guest.

We begin with VP Mike Pence taking the COVID vaccine. Highlights include the mother/wife jokes (shoutout to Lauren Holt, continuing to holt... it down. haha), Pence trying to be macho cool instead of the creepy evil joke he really is and everything Kamala says (shoutout to Maya Rudolph for holding down the biggest easiest job she's ever had). Alex Moffitt is taking over from now on as Pres-elect Joe Biden and does a good job (not Jason Sudeikis good, but still good.) Mikey Day was there, Kenan was there, and Kate McKinnon was there as national grey pube hair Rudy Guiliani. 

Kristen Wiig returned to SNL for the fourth time (and second holiday episode; one more she gets in the Five-Timers Club and wins Holiday Host Bingo). In her monologue, she jokes about being Employee of the Month (makes sense, she was in a lot of sketches later on) she admonishes her assistant Glenn for getting things she said wrong and for not getting her a stool for her to sing her... interesting version of "My Favorite Things". The jokes and lyrics were hilarious and pinpoints Wiig's brilliant balance of confidence and pure absurdity. Maya returns to add on the cringe and made it a beautiful duet. Kate had no business being here, but it still was a nice touch.

The Sketch After unsurprisingly is the always delightful and reliable "Secret Word". This was a game show that's pretty much Password, but with a very full-of-herself actress Mindy (Kristen) ruining the game for and saying the word instead of her civilian partner (this time by Holt) and her opponent being their own type of washed out (this time an Austrian actress played by Kate). As always, this was hilarious and shows the phrase "if it ain't broke, don't fix it" is still alive and well.

Speaking of dead inside and unwell, the matriarch of this family (Kristen) is depressed. While everyone else got a multitude of presents, she got a robe. That's fucking it. I was howling throughout after the second time she mentioned the robe, but you just can't stop but feel sorry for her. And even more goddamn dog got more than her while she has to suffer from stove burn and getting yelled at by her son for accidentally stepping on his Big piano. Maybe I should get my mom two presents.

At a USO show in 1944, a famous singer and an Asian singer perform a... more progressive 2010s R&B/pop song. This has to be the Best Sketch of the Week. The 1940s USO setting (and widescreen) was a brilliant setup for the bait-and-switch that had me rolling in heat like a cat in a botanical garden. And Oh Hi, Dua Lipa. I had no idea you'd be here  (I lied, I knew you were in there when the beat dropped).

A sketch parodying A Teacher? Yes, ma'am. This was brilliant, with a black teacher actually saying no to the student and shaming him deep only a black woman would? Yessuh!

Keeping hold with the widescreen is a deleted/alternate/random/deservedly removed scene from Home Alone 2: Lost in New York. Uh... meh? Melissa Vilasenor made a passable Kevin McCallister. And the part with the pidgeon pickling the pizza and Kristen laughing with fake blood on her face while the Crazy Bird Lady shanks the Wet bandits to death with her umbrella was very funny though. 

Time for the final Update for 2020.

Jost and Che kick things off by helping us prepare to say good bye to Donald Trump's presidency in perfect and delectable fashion. Seemingly, the audience just wasn't hitting right for most of these jokes, which made me roll my eyes and laugh more.

In his first appearance in... some long time, Chris Redd appears as Motown icon Smokey Robinson after his strange Cameo video saying Chanukka wrong. Other than the fact that they barely look alike, his voice is perfectly on par. As for the drop-by, the jokes on Robinson's fascination about the Jewish culture and holiday along with his horrific mispronunciation of the elements of the holiday (swagalong/synagogue, templay/temple, latchkeys/latke and monster ball/matzah ball) was just terrible -- I'm sorry, terrific.

Kenan returned since... the cold open as Michael's neighbor Willie to give us all the extra optimism we need from this year. But since it's Willie, we may feel sorry enough to give some back. The COVID vaccine, waking up in an ice bath after defects, dealing with his dog being rifled and ending beat boxing at a nursing home are just the latest examples of man whom is way too excited to be loving life instead of praying for quick painless death. I wish I had his cheerfulness. I could need it just for every time I go to the can just to force no deuce.

No matter what the influencer platform, or weird name from the female name generator they give her "I'm rich, biatch!", Heidi Gardner just kills it. This time it's Landis Trotter, an influencer who gets connection from the oddest places like Merrill Lynch or Hitatchi Healthcare. Gardner slays as Landis with the voice, personality and nonchalance when sponsoring these products.

And finally, because it's Christmastime, Colin and Michael present each other jokes that they wouldn't say themselves. Of course, Che gives Jost the racial jokes and vice versa on the sec with whities jokes. This year was no exception and maybe even surprisingly darker. But hilarious all the same.

Merry Christmas, Colon and Michelle!

In case your forget about that Christmas Robe Pre-Tape, everyone (Kyle Mooney, Chloe Gardner, Kristen and the overused Male--this time Mikey Day) returned for this next skewed retelling of a Dr. Seuss classic. This time, it's The Grinch. It was a torrid love affair full of disgust and shame, that'll make you reach for a bucket and puke to the frame. The children should play in the cold and snow, and not bare witness to their parents and Pete Davidson being each other's furry fleshy ho. If there's a lesson to discover, this is not a sketch to watch again or even hover. (Plus originally I thought there were two Mikeys in this one. Seriously, he and Kyle look alike with them Seussian noses.

And finally, Sue the Surprise Stabber is also back to ruin the fun for another family reunion. Only this time, it just didn't have the magic like before. In fact, any one of Wiig's other famous characters would've been better slotted here. I guess "if it ain't broke don't fix it" doesn't work every time.

Lemme say real quick: Dua Lipa is fucking everything. She can sing, she's Cleopatra Hot, she can dance, and if she came to me to say on personal message that that favorite family member just died, I wouldn't feel all that bad. And both performances (of "Don't Start Now" and "Levitating") exemplified all of this. Standing in a bevy of bright, beautiful colored LED lights and similarly-structured dancers, Dua commanded the stage with everything we've known her for since "New Rules" - pop music that is both fun and mature. And I love the juxtaposition of the stories of both tracks. While Don't Start Now is about breaking off with a bad lover and forging him to forget her existence and their excuse of a relationship, Levatating is about the refreshing feeling of flight when beginning anew in the romance department. And her outfits are top-notch personifications of them. Especially the white dress and flowing jellyfish hat that makes her look like the prettiest version of those disgusting monsters from that episode of Space:1999 that look like dead rotting trees wrapped in lights with beachball eyes and spread apart green moss (he says holding back vomit). If there is an album to listen to enjoying the recreations of sounds your parents loved back in the day... yes, it's 24k Magic, but the aply-titled Future Nostalgia is also for you. Smashing job, Dua Lipa. Holly good show!

And that's it. Kristen was great. The cast was great. Wonderful spread across everyone. even though work still can be done to have the lower deck play regular people. I'm tired of him... and guest Maya Rudolph might as well come back full-time since Kamala isn't going anywhere. 

Merry Christmas, everyone.

I'm Andrew Pollard saying... "I'll be w as watching A Christmas Story and wishing for 2021 to be the best year I ever lived through and all years since play catch up, and if I hear "You'll shoot your eye out, kid.", I'll just buy a bunker." Goodnight...

SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE 46 REVIEW: eight - Timothée Chalamet & Bruce Springsteen and the E-Street Band

BonjourHi!

Without the risk of sounding creepy here (aw hell, you'll do it anyway -- despite being in an age of no judgement. [or is that only at Planet Fitness??]), I find Timothée Chalamet a very handsome actor. Perfect face that'll turn you out, sunkissed skin that warm your soul, chiseled cheekbones only God could construct, beguiling hazel eyes that can hypnotize anyone, and wind-swept hair that'll make anyone cry when mussed. He is the revival of golden-age Hollywood glam in the face. (Yes, I'm hella thirsty right now.)

Oh yeah, he's incredibly talented too. Throughout the past few years, we've been blessed by little Timo with awe-inspiring performances in Call Me By Your Name, Lady Bird, Beautiful Boy, Little Women and I'm Your Woman. Praised to the high moon and receiving major nominations, it's safe to say he's only just beginning reaching the non-existent limits of his talents. And we're only just starting by watching. Starting with SNL.

Meanwhile, Mr. Chalamet may just be beginning, but our musical guest this week has never even pictured stopping. He was Born to Run in this industry, He's sent you through The River in the Tunnel of Love across Nebraska and Lucky Town with only his Human Touch. He rose above High Hopes, Devils and Dust and across the Darkness of the Edge of Town on his Wrecking Ball. He's Wild, Innocent, and He's Magic. And he has told us "We Shall Overcome". And now, with Greetings from Asbury Park, N.J., he's still among The Rising across the Western Stars with his Letter to You. What is there more to say? He is... The Boss. He is... Bruce Springsteen.

And alongside him is the greatest backing band of all time. Since 1972, they've rocked our world with their trademark blaring bombastic beats, and made millions of memories with their iconoclastic instrumentations. Their compositions have become one of the best touring acts in history (with Mr. Springsteen or by themselves). They are The E-Street Band.

This is one episode I'm excited for, and one I'm not going to forget. 

And here we go. The Cold Open spoofs the news on the distribution of the COVID-19 vaccine with Drs. Anthony Fauci and Deborah Birx interviewed by CNN's Wolf Blizer.

Other than the annoying applause break introducing them, Kate McKinnon and Heidi Gardner kill their respective roles. But I must give a slight edge to Heidi for perfectly capturing Birx's soft lying doormat of a quack on 45's "pandemic response team". The random throwing of brassieres is unfunny and weird though.

Making his debut, Chalamet shined among the poinsettias and Xmas decor in a bomb-ass red jacket I believe sold out as we speak. Throughout his dialogue, he speaks on his proud heritage in NYC, mentioning his mother's background appearances on the show, and sheds light on the many parts of his life that are NY-tinged. The whole thing is meh, but Timo's energy and excitement make it more than enjoyable. You can feel it in his voice and facial expressions. And Staten Islander Pete Davidson helped make it fun too with his less than pleasant life experiences.

Who knew even Coronavirus can celebrate Christmas?

This was actually pretty good. The writers did their research here and the creativity is infectious. Also, it's great to see the lower decks of the cast (mainers featured members Dusmukes, Lauren Holt(?), Chloe Fineman and Boyen Yang) get some good screen time off the bat. Best Sketch of the Week already.

And that leads to the Best Pre-Tape of the Week: a brilliant parody of the commercials of Lexus' December to Remember sale event. Instead of one guy giving his wife a car she'll love, she hates it because it's an expensive purchase she wasn't aware of... by the guy with no job... Who borrowed from his neighbor... While wanting to Mack on his son's girlfriend... in revenge to his wife for cheating. Awkward.

Next up on Dionne Warwick's Talk Show, Harry Styles talks about his music and why Wendy Williams is a bitch to her.

Oh my God! Ego Nwodom is Dionne incarnate. She knocked her personality, vocal tics and musical talent. This is the second time the featureds dominated. PUNKIE POWER!, Other Andrew and Lauren Holt were there, Timmy Tim was a dream as Harry Styles (two daddies in one? How am I alive?), Mellisa Vilasenor was genius as Billie Eillish, I want MGK's pink outfit because Pete Davidson wore it, Chloe Fineman was wonderful as not-Chalamet and this sketch ties as the Best of the Week.

Anytime Timothee Chalamet sings is a time to be happy to be alive. In this Pre-Tape, a boy has to let go his diminutive animal pal Tiny Horse as his family is struggling. The joke when TH runs out was funny and him finding success was just as so. I need that song as a single so I can try to get it to go gold. It's my life's destiny now...

The BOSS... is BACK!!!

And he and E-Street slayed their 8H return with a smooth yet boisterous ditty that made me jump across the room. It was that fun.

Time for an Update.

Jost and Che tackled the COVID vaccine distribution, Barr contemplated resigning, and Trump mooching off supporters, Jewish lions, Biden hiring a woman named Fudge to head HUD, the fifth Indiana Jones movie, a 27-year old embryo becoming a baby in 2020 and astronomers finding a not-so-black galaxy.

Kate McKinnom returned as medical correspondent Wayne Wenodis. Meh.

But the best guest was resident impressionist Melissa Vilasenor appearing as Dolly Parton, trying to reveal her favorite Christmas tunes, but they end up turning in the Country icon's classic ditties. Good Golly , Mellisa is a damn brilliant Miss Dolly. Her voice, her singing, her ever-vibrant personality and energy, and her not so big but equally glorious tit-taaaaays!! It was 

earthshaking. There is a reason she is in the cast.

Returning from last year, The Holiday Baking Challenge... Show featured more decadent cake ideas turning into demented comfections. A cut baby cake reminiscent of that Beatles compilation album with such things, a cake featuring legendary leaders turned into what seems to be Megan Thee Stallion's Wet Ass Pussy, a cake that look like the winner (but was ignored), and a phallic "masterpiece". I want to eat one.. You'll have to guess which. And did Ego's judge character have more than one accent?

In this XXL Rap Roundtable, femcee icon Queen Latifah, The Roots drum 

extraordinaire ?uestlove (played by guest star himself) and two shitty Soundcloud "rappers" discuss the history and impact of the genre. Things go downhill when the noise "Yeet" is spoken more than once.

It was boring half of the way, but picked up with the duo (name I'm not writing here) made it hilarious. I'd like to think this is a brutal indictment of Soundcloud rap by everyone else's reactions by their embarrassing behavior and nonsense responses, and XXL for endorsing this trash. ?uestlove smacking both (the palm-colored one with his iconic hair pick) was breathtaking. Something we all would have done to all of them. Maybe something more... piercing.

Springsteen and E-Street returned with a more warm and sweet track that showed neither have lost a beat in the years since their last appearance.

Love Newsmax? In which you hear what you want to hear (even though it's really not true) in the country of freedom and bravery (watched by the shittiest enforcers of them)? Well, introducing Sportsmax whixh is the same thing for equally garbage people -- New York Sports Fans. This was an okay sketch that fits with the people they serve. Even though I have no idea what they really are, I can be lead to believe them.

Overall this was a really good episode. I enjoyed  all the live and pre-taped sketches. Most were hilarious and proved the writers were on their A-game this week. Comsidering their guest is a multi-award-nominated young actor with a ton of talent and promise, they couldn't be bothered to half-ass it.

Speaking of said young actor, he certainly didn't half-ass it either. Timothee was absolutely amazing as host. His spunk, high energy and excitment as shown in the monologue was everlasting through, showing a significant range for the different roles he was given and a range of comedy for each one that I really enjoyed. If there is a chance for him to return next season or sometime in the decade, I'll do my best to make the standby line (although I'll turn down the list considerably).

As for the cast, oh wow, the featured cast and least used main members came to dominate this week. Either they launched pitches to Lorne and the producers that they really liked or Lorne realized they're on his payroll and decided to have them actually work for it. Either way, it made me grin so hard to see the featured cast get big spots in the live sketches, as they do have major talent and promise. Hopefully that's the reason and not because Kenan, Aidy Bryant, Chris Redd and probably one more wasn't there (although they do deserve a break). The rest of the cast were also great, especially the main MVP Ego Nwodim, whom stole the spotlight with her appearances. I usually despise when a cast member or four appear in most of an episode but she isn't Mikey Day (whom also aside from the Lexus pre-tape, also didn't largely appear), so bravo! I see a new Lorne's favorite coming soon. So watch out Beck Bennett.

And what is there to say about Bruce Springsteen and the E-Street Band? They destroyed the stage and then some.

This episode was a fun, enjoyable installment that should've been the Christmas episode. But that's coming next week. So join me as I review said Christmas episode hosted by former cast member and to-be-four-time host Kristen Wiig with music by legit and actually good musician Dua Lipa (or as once referred to by that bitch Dionne Warwick hates, Wendy Williams, Dula Peep. I don't like her ass for that.)

Until then, this is Andrew Pollard, saying "Let's be good to one another and share kindness and goodwill to all this holiday season. Unless they're shit to you first, so in that case, be even worse in return." Goodnight... and Happy Hanukkah to all my Jewish readers out there, Shalom...

THIS IS THE LITERAL END OF A LIVE BLOG.

Olivia Jade on "Red Table Talk": Reopening the Varsity Blues Wound

Most times, I don't despise the rich and famous as much as other people. Whatever they do in their private lives is none of my business and whatever they do in public (unless it's for a good cause or interests me in the world of entertainment) is mostly none of my concern. I have my own interests and concerns in my own life to deal with. But when they do something bad, I'd think they deserve the shame and disappointment to last them a while; and if they do bad and illegal, I'll watch in anger and disgust and wish them a brutal misery in solitary confinement. Especially if they screw over the regular people that deserve they get even more in the process.

Which brings me to Olivia Jade Gianulli. If it weren't for the College Admissions Scandal, I would've been extremely content on not knowing who the hell she is. But since I do now, because of what she's been doing lately since her parents, former Full House star Lori Laughlin and fashion magnate Mossimo Gianulli, were convicted and sentenced for their participation in the scandal, it's time I speak on this with the right amount of discontent.

Since you all know what happened, I'll skip the petty details. What Loughlin and Gianulli did was absolutely wrong and certifiably incriminating. They had the money to pay for Liv's (and her sister's) tuition to USC (or at least donate money towards a new building or sponsoring an old one). This was so infuriating - yet so Lifetime Original Movie level absurd - that you can't help but laugh angry.

But then Liv's later actions ramped up the fury.

Jade appeared on Facebook Watch's red-hot Red Table Talk recently to discuss her (now in)famous mom and dad's occupations in Operation Varsity Blues and their subsequent [un]shockingly short stays in the slammer. And everything about this pisses me the all the blue hell off.

Here's the interview. Try not to throw your electronic device through the fucking wall.

Now look. There are kids out there who work incredibly hard throughout school life and dream of going to a famous, accredited higher learning institution (myself included), but they don't have the money and resources to do so, and so the best option is to apply for grants and scholarships. Some are very lucky to earn them (and therefore their way to college) while others are not unfortunately. That's a part of life. Even more so, even those who earn it are nothing to sneeze at compared to kids whom strike it on the genetic lottery, often getting in to these universities on full rides thanks to the wealth and powerful influence of their well-off parents, whom will do anything to get their obscenely overpaid offspring the open gates to waltz into the place and do whatever they want (including not pulling in schoolwork and studying) without second thought. Which is exactly where pretty little Olivia fits in (in the worst way).

Wench, please. You knew all this time what your parents was wrong, but did nothing to stop them. I don't care if you being the child and them the parents overrides your begging, pleading and attempts to abort the scheme. You sat back as your parents colluded with skeevy-as-shit criminals to get your over-caked ass to college on a full ride (a crew scholarship yet!!!), and not once even thought to stop them and reminded them that with their wealth (remember: Mom is Aunt Becky and Dad draws clothes for other wealthy douchebags), they could've paid for your tuition with no problems and they'd still work with more bags of cash Venmo'd to them. But instead they get caught and deservedly get to go to prison.

You better be lucky and fortunate that they spent a cup of coffee (a wrestling term) in the slammer, because if they were black, they would've gotten (slightly) longer terms in the PEN! I honestly would've forgotten about this even after their release. But the fact that you're on a web talk show - crying crocodile tears creepy thirsty ass men would've cheerfully licked off the table or floor - and saying how sad you were that your parents went to jail for something you didn't think to do under the sky-high privilege you pretend you didn't know you had until now pisses me the fuck off so hard that I'd feel like Liam Neeson stalking the streets and slapping the white and Italian off a bitch. And fortunately, I'm not the only one because the RTT hosts weren't feeling her explanation either, neither were the co-hosts of The View, as shown in the latter's clip here.

You are now the biggest and most shining female example of white privilege (the Kardashians can now settle for the closest #2 that'll make your head spin). The fact that you are a beauty vlogger on YouTube and influencer also makes my teeth hurt. You could've made your money for college all on your own from the funds you make from these platforms and positions (and if OnlyFans existed before the scandal, many positions). I would've happily kept you in the back of my mind and move on to important things in my life so that I don't have to waste brain cells and pop a damn vessel over you or your stupid family. But since you wanted to get more attention and capitalize from this embarrassing display of celebrity greed and shame by asking us to feel sorry for you because you had no say in getting into a college you probably wanted to party at more than study and learn at (damn well especially not do the sport your parents got the full ride for), I cannot do anything but be furious at yet another rich kid breezing through life with all the wealth to feed and shelter a whole community of poor and destitute and not care about the people and consequences you run over and ignore every day as you don't have to deal with them.

I don't know if only a certain number of adults have admissions to USC; but if so, then you and -- stole full rides from two very deserving, hard-working, sweet-dreaming adults who would've used their scholarships to their fullest potentials and make major waves in the crew industry or somewhere else in the employment field. You are not sorry. You're sorry because you got caught doing a crime of being aware of your parents falsifying records for a crew career in a college admissions application and having a hand it. Not because you didn't know anything about it and felt guilty of it after the fact. The fact that you are not or were not punished with more than a guilty conscience and heavy shame is nauseating. But since you are guilty in the court of public opinion, this may be enough for me. Emphasis on "may".

Shed them tears somewhere else, go home, try to make more beauty tutorials and pics hawking the latest styles and trends on Instagram, because we have no time or energy for ratfinks like you and your thieving parents.

Fuck off, Olivia Jade. You are dismissed.

SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE 46 REVIEW: seven - Jason Bateman & Morgan Wallen Take 2 (lucky motherfμcker)

It's finally here. The worst year in recent recorded history ever is almost over. We're close to a vaccine of the most powerful virus since the Kansas Flu (since some people indignantly want to call COVID the Chinese Flu, the Kung Flu, Wuhan Flu or the Wu-Wu [fuck you in the mouth] because that's where it came from [no shit], I'll call the Spanish Flu the Kansas Flu since that is where it possibly originated in the USA), it's the Holiday Season and it's time to start being genuinely happy again. Because being sad and bored during most of the year was killing me. (Oh sorry. Didn't mean that way.)

Anyway, SNL is back for December and the final three episodes of the year. So Xmas decor shrewn across 8H, sketches rubber stamped across the holiday (and Hanukkah if you're lucky; Kwanzaa be damned), and for this year skits about Trump sweating off his airy second skin as he screams and cries until his epic "fuck off" from the White House (praise me if I'm right; don't quote me if I'm wrong).

Our first of our Holiday Hosts Three, sketch comedy fans, is the male half of the Twins Bateman. Jason Bateman may not be as well-known an actor or heartthrob as Kirk Cameron, Scott Baio, Todd Bridges or Michael J. Fox , he is still a great enough performer on the static box. Thr Hogan Family, Arrested Development and now Ozarks, his Emmy-winning contributions to television have nothing short of laughs, tears, memories and sparks. Although if you told me this isn't his first time hosting (it's his second!), I'd be shocked. Because it doesn't seem like he hosted before on this late night block. But as a fan of Hogan Family and Arrested Development (and have at least heard of Ozarks), I'm totally excited for his appearance.

On the other hand... I bring you to the most lucky and forgiven motherfucker on the planet. You remember Morgan Wallen, the guy who got the chance of a lifetime to perform on SNL back on October 10th (the episode hosted by Bill Burr), but fucked it all up when he got caught on camera partying at an Alabama bar with everyone not masking or social distancing and had to apologize for it? Well, Lorne decided to accept his plea for forgiveness (and desperate attempt back to crossover relevancy) to let him perform less than two months later. And he seems to hold up on his comeback by wearing a mask during promos. I never had interest in his music and was going to start before his original appearance, but dropped after his foolish faux pas. But if Lorne can turn the other cheek on this walking major COVID safety violation, then so should I.

If you guessed the Cold Open was on that viral Senate commitee hearing with that Looney Tune bitch with a mouth that runs on idiocy, congrats. You don't get smacked on the back of the head.

First off, CECILY STRONG IS FINALLG BACK LIVE!!! Thank God she is safe and healthy. She did fantastic as... Whatever her name is. The sketch perfect captured how bonkers the hearing was. Maybe a little too bonkers. Kate McKinnon was fab as Giuliani (fart and all) Nothing more notable to say here cause that's all we expected.

Bateman finally made his return to the main stage after FIFTEEN YEARS (he last hosted in 2005). After mentioning what I said earlier, he recounts a sketch in which he plays monkey who chucks shit at famous people (after joking he had the vaccine, I wish a monkey did it to him). I bet it sucked, but the more important chunk was during the goodnights when the same monkey almost either sucked face or ate off his face. It was a crazy sight, but the story droned on a bit until JB mentioned the sweet denouement that the monkey wanted to make amends and did. Then he got sent to the glue factory. That punchline paid off.

The Sketch After was a meh but the little things made it worked. At (yet another) sleepover, the host's father talked with them about one of them having their first little red dot on the couch (but it wasn't big). Of course the chick portraying the cunt clump culprit is Kate, but she sells it well. Otherwise, it was forgettable.

On the contrary, this Pre-Tape is brillant. 

So, Santa is getting letters from the kids and is about ti pick the good ones for presents. Well, one of them isn't Stu, who's desperate for a PS5, as the clip switches to a parody of... that Eminem song "Stan"? Well, what a twist! Seriously, this was so incredible. The PS5 element was brilliant, the set was on point, the lighting and colors were well-contrasted, the rap by Pete Davidson was A1, the Dido-esque vocals by Kate were smooth, Bowen Yang was slammin' as Sir Elton John (because of capturing the charisma and bravado; not the gay thing) and the Santa bits were sweet and savory. A definite must rewatch.

At an outdoor event, there is some singing by two hosts with assistance from the piano player... Blah blah blah. I didn't pay attention because it got tepid immediately and i wad behind.

Fortunately, I was brought back by the next pre-tape. Three women try to tell their mothers thst because of COVID, they can't come to their homes. So the moms reacted the way they usually do -- overreacting, guilt-tripping, fake tears and feigning anything that'll get them out the door without reasonable explanation. This was hilarious; the reactions are what most parents would go for and don't hold back. And the kids' begging to stop and understand are equally funny.

Not funny is this next sketch, which seemed to be the show dissing Wallen for attending a party instead of waiting to party at the show with his performances. But they didn't seem to stick the knife of mockery in his back like they were supposed to and showed this stupid twist in which his future self, his Asian future self and Pere Davidson warn him of the consequences of his drunken debauchery. There's a problem with that. He's already there, there's much less people at the place, the woman is holding a phone she more likely swiped off the lock and chain from the Metro store down the street and like Morgan here would listen to his future self when he's smashed beyond oblivion. This is the show less shaming him for wasting their time and money on his biggest platform play and more begging him to stat and suck his dick as a thank you. I swear they banned Rage Against the Machine for speaking their mind against a billionaire running for president, but if your musical guest is doing a stupid thing of getting bombed at a college party, let's say "hey we're disappointed qyou in not doing the right thing and putting yourself and us at risk, but we're not ballsy enough in banning you because we have none, so come back in two weeks and we'll prepare our jaws, eh?". And prepare they did.

Because Morgan Wallen performed for the first time. And... He was alright. His first track was a smooth track about... Reminiscing about some girl or town or party. I wasn't paying attention on account of the extra lighting across the set. It's as if they're twisting the knife in us (or at least those who hated his given a second chance in the first place).

Time for an Update

Jost and Che this week riffed on Guiliani being a major nutcase with leaking hair dye and a blasting ass throughout the past month. Absolutely hilarious.

Next up, a family visit a Mall Santa and Ms. Claus. But because of the pandemic and despite the mall still opening, the two reps of Christmas must do their duties so they accommodate. With terrible results.

This sketch is the second funniest based on the physical comedy alone. The commitment JB and Cecily go through is commendable. Also the talent of the little girl saying her one line is very good and cute. Plus, the robot elf with the tablet face is pretty funny too.

I have nothing negative to say anymore about Morgan Wallen anymore. I have now realized watching his second performance - looking like Joe Dirt Jr. and mugging the camera the level of Milton Berle - that this anger got unhealthy and staying pissed at him much longer would ulcer me. So I'll stop and say he did quite well. His music isn't bad and I'm happy he reaching the heights he's reaching. I'll just shit on him the next time I'll joke about him later in the future. Now to leave my real anger and disgust at those who deseve it -- COVIDiots, people who dismiss Elliot Page's transition as relevancy and attention-seeking and blasphemous and the people in the right wing and Democratic establishment [everyone fuck off].

Finally, a pre-tape about that one guy in a circle of dudes who sucks at joking at the drop of a hat and keepa trying despite falling flat every time. Of course, Kyle Mooney plays this to perfection and the loopy, trippy, colorful wonderland in his inner musical monologue is amazing. Too bad the audience didn't see it that way.

Speaking on the audience, it seemed they were as dead as the assholes they were forced to treat from COVID--uhh, the flu. The laughs were barely noticeable, the times there wasn't any dragged the live sketches down (and to be honest, half of them weren't great anyway and were there because the sets looked like they shouldn't have been used just for dress. My guess is they just got back from hiatus and needed that jolt back after Thanksgiving break and it shows -- and much better during the pre-tapes at that. We shall see next week, but... Meh.

Jason Bateman made a great host. Despite the fifteen year absence, he looked and acted like his last time was last season. He was totally game for the show and was a highlight of them. Whether as the judgemental dad shaming his daughter for makimg her mom sad to Dad who just can't see the tomboy fucked up his couch because of her pussy over-power, to seemingly unmotivated cabaret piano player to the Mall Santa not giving a shit about his job as more of an acting afterthought, the former David Hogan showed that he is not a forgotten 80s gem. He's a forgotten 80s gem-turned-unfogettable Emmy-winning dynamo. And he didn't need SNL for a brief career revival; SNL needed him, and he said "sure, lemme check my schedule. I'm sure there's a date open. Ahh, how about whenever I feel like it". One part I made up; guess which is it.

The cast is closer because Cecily Strong is back on! I really missed her. Her contributions were sorely needed and her disappearance felt like a slow withdrawal. Hopefully the weekly hits keep on comimg. Speaking of withdrawal, where's Dismukes? Do I have to mourn yet another featured freshman?? Amongst the sausage fest this week from the regular men, I'm surprised I still remember his face and that we share a name and that in some way we're linked in thst we're just watching from afar. Meanwhile, Lauren Holt and PUNKIE POWER! have definitely earned their places with the FaceTime sketch. 

In Conclusion, episode seven was okay. Just not up to par like the marathon six before it. I guess again the break is to blame. The sketches were presented well - especially the ones focusing on the holiday season under the COVID pandemic. Lots of areas to cover and they were well-covered. The jokes were middling but with strong potential - and I can blame that on the audience for not being there (and maybe the writers for trying harder). This outing is a bit forgettable but fortunately, we're two more weeks before the actual Christmas episode so here's hoping for a much better installment.

Until then, we got the pre-Christmas epiosde next week hosted by the most sexy young actor today with the cutest name to match - Timothée Chalamet, with musical guest - and the most badass rocker and backup touring band(?) to come from medium-town Jersey, Bruce Springsteen and the E-Street Band.

See you again next week. Until then, I'm Andrew Pollard, and my concern for a pasty-faced white male cast member of SNL named Andrew is its own concern. Goodnight... 

Remembering Alex Trebek: Jeopardy! Host Deceased at 80

Greetings, everyone. 

I'm here to talk a little bit about some heartbreaking news from the entertainment industry.

Jeopardy! host Alex Trebek passed away earlier today at the age of 80. He has been battling pancreatic cancer for the past year plus as he revealed last March. 

Trebek hosted the revival of Jeopardy! since its debut in 1984, and won seven Daytime Emmy Awards in the years since for his work in the legendary professor's podium. Trebek has hosted other game shows in his decades long career including Wizard of Odds, Double Dare, High Rollers and Classic Concentration.

This man was one of my favorite television personalities and an inspiration to me. When I was a kid, while most other kids watched cartoons and kid comedies and the like, when I finished my homework,  I'd watch the news and when 7pm hit, I'd turn to my local ABC station to watch Jeopardy! This show meant so much to me in many ways since I was a young man. I loved Johnny Gilbert's boisterous and awesome opening narration, rooting for three different contestants to show off their smarts to their best and  win cash, and learn so many new things I never would before. But the one thing I look forward to the most is Trebek's hosting. His calm and caring yet intense and dour demeanor, sweet and sour personality and entertaining demeanor and rapport with the contestants wowed me over when I first watched and I just adored every time ever since. His talents are everlasting and his work on the show (and the rest of his incredible) is forever iconic.

Trebek hosted tapings of this current - and now his final - season of Jeopardy! until October 29, with fresh new editions airing until January 8. I will do my absolute best to watch them all live (or at least later in the evening on DVR), and I'm sure millions upon millioms of other viewers and fans will too. And his final episode will no doubt break ratings records, with me crying like a baby when it ends.

Jeopardy! will never be the same without him, and I - like many millions of fans throughout the world - will miss him very much.

My love, prayers, condolences are to his family, friends, Johnny Gilbert, colleagues and the Jeopardy! staff.

Rest in Peace and Thank You for everything, Mr. Trebek.

SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE 46 REVIEW: six - Dave Chappelle & Foo Fighters

"I, As (Vice) President Of The United States, Have Actually Achieved Something. Which Is Virtually Unheard Of."

Ladies and gentlemen... we did it. We, the citizens of the United States of America, have finally made presidential history. We elected the eldest commander-in-chief and - more importantly and most spectacularly -  the first female (and first black and first South Asian) second-in-command. Joseph R. Biden Jr. and Kamala Devi Harris will be the 46th President and Vice President of the United States. And for that... I need to vomit now. Because after four years of that orange thing destroying our constitution and democracy and embarrassing us on front of the world stage on a frequent non-stop basis while holding my breath, palming my face, shielding my eyes, yanking on my hair and laughing when it was necessary (and crying inside when it wasn't), I really needed a time to upchuck so I can breath again. And this my fellow mauraders is the time (It should've been a landslide though). I hope they do right by us.

But until the day comes, we need someone to tide the storm and carry us these times of sadness, insanity, mania and depression. But since Biden won, we don't need it desperately. But SNL chose the right guy anyway and I'm all the way here for him. You may know him for a certain sketch comedy show that features such beloved characters as Tyrone Biggums, Tron Carter, "Silky" Johnson, Chuck Taylor and Leonard Washington impressions of music stars Rick James, Lil Jon and Prince, and brought the world the forever immoral "I'm Rick James, bitch!" . It's called "Chappelle's Show" and his name is Dave Chappelle.

Chappelle previously hosted four years ago after the modern day disaster that was the 2016 General Election, when reality game show host and not-really-a-billionaire... You know what, let's leave that in the past. That episode was hilarious, brilliant and something we all needed to get through a mortifying campaign season we all wouldn't wish on our worst enemy an a conclusion we come close to wishing on them. And the sketches on the aftermath of said election and The Walking Dead Negan parody starring the aforementioned Chappelle's Show scene-stealers were truly unforgettable. And that monologue? Whew, hilarious as it was, NBC's standards and practices department must've been in a coma, and its Raleigh affiliate were morons to try ro pussify it up.

But now that's he's back in Studio 8H under 1000% different and thus much better and cheerful circumstances, I still expect nothing less vulgar, racial-epithet-laden or funny.

Meanwhile, it's back to the well of popular and amazing rock bands that has consistently (and stangely) dominated this season's musical offerings. But honestly there are few that better than Foo Fighters. Every appearance they've made, they tore the roof off the studio. Their last appearance during the Season 44 Christmas episode blessed us with one of the very best covers of "Linus and Lucy" from the Peanuts holiday specials I've ever heard. That enough gives them cred. So this time round cannot be an exception. Right? Right.

I'm proud American citizen (except when I choose not to be to mock and hate it - #Patriot) and proud early mail-in voter Andrew Pollard, and I'll here to bring you  the post-2020 General Election episode of Saturday Night Live.

As if that does surprise anyone, the Cold Open is on a TV network finally projecting that Biden won the election. And they're excited like we are. Honestly, it's as if decided to take a break on the jokes and just acted out what just happened hours ago. They didn't need CNN , but Beck Bennett needed something to do to fill out the first fifteen minutes, so Wolf Blitzer will do.

Jim Carrey and Maya Rudolph still shine as Biden and Madam VP Kamala Harris , but one line from Rudolph worked the best "We checked more boxes than a disqualified ballot." Honestly, the best jokes were from Alec Baldwin as Donald Trump. "Stop the count!", the COVID map and his off-of-wall random rendition of Macho Man just work. Too bad this may be his last appearance in a while. Maybe until January.

Dave Chappelle returned to the stage to near-riotous applause a began a monologue with a soft, sober story about his great-grandfather ending with a joke about his show being on two streaming services leading to "a nigga being bought and sold more times...". His digs on his standup shows in Ohio, FarmersOnly, someone saying nigga and him wondering if they said it, Zoom, wearing masks (mentioning the Klan), and Trump-- aww fuck, all of it was a highlight. His calm and sweet demeanor and use of the word "nigga" made me pay attention and enjoy it so much, and his lit cigarette set the "IDGAF" tone well. If only the audience pretended it wasn't SNL and was a comedy club; they'd laugh until they all caught a hernia. Dave himself feel the same way. His speech relating to white people in some unfortunate times in their lives is very comforting for others who feel the same way.

Chappelle introduces this Sketch After, where black people aren't the only people to lose their jobs, but when they do it hurts the most. The piece starts off soberly, but the comedy kicks in whence we learn whom is getting fired: Aunt Jemima and Uncle Ben (and not Dennis Haysbert). This was a brilliant spoof on multi-billion corporations disbanding popular brands for negative racial connotations. The sketch gets more absurd when Count Chocula (Pete Davidson) appears and tries to make his case, and even more so when Chappelle breaks the fourth wall to make us look at his funny-looking cracker's lips. Sweet Jesus, that costume is scarily accurate. Shout out to the costume department for that (and Rudolph's Kamala outfit; that was hours before!)

Next up, Nintendo celebrates the 35th anniversary of Super Mario Bros. (one of its greatest games ever and the start of its most successful franchise) by asking random people what they thought of the game. A couple of folks talked about the game and its glorious memories. Two white guys (Mikey Day & Kyle Mooney) instead turn it into a depressing anecdote about Mooney's character getting his balls fucked off when they raced on bikes to buy it, throwing everything off. At first, I wasn't feeling it when they come on, then Kenan jump-starts it with his disgusted and aggravated reactions. Then it got funnier. Lemme tell you -- I almost got run over on my electric scooter (it wasn't on) on the way home yesterday. I got off much luckier than him.

This Pre-Tape was... weird. But rip-rolling good too. Some guy named Keith tries to get his girlfriend to take him back, but lets slip somethings that make her thank God for dropping his ass: did coke, he had a gun, he did gay porn, he's 18 NOW, he whipped it out to kids at a playground... Honestly, Beck Benn made this one because of his nonchalant and matter-of-factly tone of voice and random placement of items and facts were well-written and placed, and Ego Nwodim as the ex was great with her mortified reactions.

Time for an Update!

Jost & Che discuss what everyone is loudly and boisterously cheered about: Joe Biden is now our president, and even more so, Donald Trump will not be president any longer. Michael also made a brilliant analogy relating to Shawshank Redemption: the characters on the roof enjoying life and drinking while still in jail. Like us enjoying a new president while still have the last one.

Kate McKinnon appears as Rudy Giuliani, and creepily as ever, discusses Trump's loss and the "reasons" for it. Her performance as a slimy, strange, nausea-fueled, moronic loser with a great job never fails for the belly-achers. But this WU spot has to be one of her best, as even Jost is laughing. Nice job!

Another home one, not as strong as last week, but still amazing.

This next skit may be the definition of "slow news day". A devastating hailstorm hitting small town Pebble Beach swerved into a human-interest fluff piece about two workers on a dumb tourist trap falling in love under distress and protection. This started out fine, but got funnier when Kenan drops in as Rudolph telling his tale. The chemistry between him and Kate McK's Jean is strangely sweet as the two curl up (after his strange out-of-nowhere teleporting) even though he has a wife (whom he thinks might be dead, who cares?)

Goddamn, Lorne! Give Ego a rest. I know black people can put in more work and she's super talented but please one reprieve, okay? Anyway, from one news skit to another, as she and a returning Chappelle, whom disappeared to do whatever he fuckin wants, do a breaking hit on a chase about the president  Trump leaving the White House in a Bronco driven by Don Jr. It was funny, especially the hits by FunDay and Baldwin as the Donalds, but I won't remember it tomorrow. Or even after the show's over.

Foo Fighters returned for two on-par standout performances, one with a surprising cold-tone look but full of angst and energy and the other more retrospective and important , with a sudden quick drop of adrenaline at the end (and an ear-popping drood at the start). If there is a modern rock band I as a black man would love and show no shame in loving, it's Foo Fighters. (And many more, but still)

It was a great episode, but I had a feeling it wouldn't be as controversial, impactful or memorable as the last Chappelle-hosted post-election episode. But most of the content here is funny enough in and of itself to hold up well. Same with Chappelle's monologue. I still remember parts of it from last watching it all those years ago, but this one is hilarious enough to be unforgettable all the same. The cast were smashing as well, even though the big four were still overused - great as they are. Ego may be make this a Big 5. Cecily Strong, Melissa Villasenor, Chris Redd, Heidi Garner (I think she VO'd in the Super Mario skit) and the newbies were nowhere, while Pete Dave, Bowen Yang and Chloe Fineman (silent even) appeared once. COVID is making it even harder for everyone to get screen time.

Chappelle was as always in his element. His dour, smooth demeanor and behavior were so damn refreshing from the wacky hijinks we were all in this past month and prior; it's like he's a black, filthy-lipped Mr. Rogers. His monologue was awesome (as his wont) and his brief showings up in his two sketches made them superb. I needed to be entertained with new stuff after this almost-fortnight-long election, and SNL gave it to me good. If only they tell us when to expect more.

Well, we all need a break, and after 6 full weeks of new episodes, they deserve it more than us. So... Thanksgiving episode??? We shall see.

Well, I'm proud to back reviewing SNL, and this season has been a challenge to keep reviewing but I had fun doing it and I needed something to remind y'all this site is still around. So thank you all for checking in every week and I hope you all join me when it returns for me to skewer it when I can.

Goodnight everyone, and I'm Andrew Pollard, saying "God bless America! even those who disrespect it to worship a false junk-filled, hot-air-headed false idol."

Here Lies Mulaney. A Show About Nothing... Funny (2014-2015) | StAbUrDaY/fRiGhT\diVe=REVIEW: fIVe - John Mulaney & The Strokes (The Halloween Episode... on Halloween!)

 

^

That's Drak Pack!

Welcome. Come on in.

I'm Andrew Pollard, and I'm your guide for a deep descent into the dark, dreary, deviant, depressing and decidedly decent den of sketch comedy in the year 2020.

2020 has been a year, no? A year of depression, illness, paranoia, mania, separation, isolation, loss of feeling, loss of employment, loss of life, loss of enjoyment, loss of toilet paper... So much that came this year from one thing or another hit us like a ton of bricks , and yet the one thing that made us shed the most tears was the Peanuts holiday specials are no longer airing on network television. (Seriously? The tradition's not dead! Just buy them on DVD or digital, or swallow your pride and sign up for Apple, it's free for three days. It's not deep.)

But in these times, we all need a laugh before we go a little crazy, one of the most prominent spaces to get one is Saturday Night Live. So far, the 46th season is... mixed. Some episodes had me nearly die laughing, others nearly make me want to die. But hey, any season after five makes you feel that way, right? But since we're in a certain pandemic, even the worst sketches seem like comedy gold. right? Well, that's what we'll hopefully get this empty Halloween night (and it's rare for SNL to have a Halloween episode on Halloween, so that's a treat.) And with our host this week, comedian, former show writer and victim of a shitty Seinfeld-esque sitcom namesake (that reached a grizzly, gruesome, critically-maligned and well-deserved demise), John Mulaney, there's a promise of no tricks. Each and every time he's hosted, his light, smarmy attitude and evenly quirky-yet-surprisingly brashly humor (whether in the monologue or in sketches) has me on the floor (Although the big joke to me coming in is that despite being a well-known and liked comic, the show still manages to find white guys as musical guest that are even more well-known and liked (like the second you hear their name).) Hell, I listen to "Look What God Made Her" by Thomas Rhett more times than any of Mulaney's stand-up routines. That's my standing with him.

Also a treat, returning musical guest The Strokes. While I've never played their music, their appearance in my mental consciousness is strong, thanks to this show and their sets have been straight rock bangers I've enjoyed from the word "go". I'm sure their appearance here will not disappoint. 

We begin with a Cold Open featuring Joe Biden (played by Jim Carrey, who has to be a cast member at this point) reminding America a horrid nightmare that it got itself into - electing Donald Trump.

It's hilarious, well-written and mixed political satire and corny spooky stories together. I'm now in the pro-Carrey-as-Biden camp again, Kate McKinnon returns flawlessly as Hillary along with nice touches of Mikey Day as Nate Silver, Kenan as Ice Cube (?), Chris Redd as Lil Wayne (if he got his face stung by a bee), Maya Rudolph as Kamala and Beck Bennett as blue-hand Mitch McConnell  (whom at this point I'd be happy to dance on his grave when it happens). Let's hope all goes well on November 3

... and beyond. 

Mulaney continues to kill with his stand up monologue. Hits include comedians being "last responders", the fun of watching NY Governor Andrew Cuomo's daily Coronavirus press conferences, the arguments of family taking the kids to grandma's, "Play Covid!", the game of "America's Favorite Grandpa" (and praising Jane Lynch), "new nazis" and especially the one with the one girl at the bitch of a classmate's sleepover. His story about his 94year-old grandmother is something special too. The audience is there, but they still don't accentuate how hilarious Mulaney's set is. 

Ahh, Cinema Classics. One sketch that comes up behind you and hits you over with brilliant one liners and random stuff that happens from classic films. This time it's The Birds - that classic Hitchcock film where he tortured Tippi Hendren the whole time.  The campiness and absurdity of the iconic payphone scene is delicious, Kate McK's take on Hendren is wonderful, the sardonic performance by Mulaney is fantastic and the use of puppets birds is life-changing.

Reese De'What can reminisce on my life if he'd like.

The Pre-Tape After, Strollin', add levity to the struggle black community goes through to vote in the election. The funk and soul riff is badd, the stars of the sketch (Kenan, Reddman, Lego My Ego and PUNKIE POWER!) are dyn-o-mite! and the production is perfectly shot. I love this one and this was needed at this time to give us hope to find whatever polling places are in white neighborhoods, go to them in carpools and wait as long as possible (with snacks from the nearby Dollar Tree).

Next week, the post-election sixth episode... hosted by... DAVE CHAPPELLE! (Yes again.)

The next time I read or watch the stories of Ichabod Crane and the Headless Horseman, I'll always remember when Crane, Pete Davidson and Mikey "Mr. Sketch Security" Day asking H2 if he blows himself, roll into women's bathrooms, and other strange things to keep them from going to hell. I have a feeling Mulaney co-wrote this sketch, because that's his strongsuit. But the jokes are pretty inventive and hilarious.

Speaking of Job Security... Kate McK stars in this sketch celebrating New York City as it gets back to being itself  after the summer pandemic-- a vast wasteland of assholes, commercialism and lots of trains. But the light, airy, sweet lens and praise of frontline workers and helping hand neighbors makes it all good.

THE OCCASIONALLY PLACED LED BACKGOUND SCREEN TELLS YOU TO

OBEY.

Update Time!

First off, congratulations to the newly-married Mr. Scarlett Johansson, Colin Jost!

This week, he and Michael Che discuss President Trump keeping his fans freezing in the cold during one of his rallies and shaming the people who save his obese orange ass from dying, rich black rappers supporting 45 just to keep from paying more taxes, Jared Kushner being a little racist shit again, and the hope of Trump not getting reelected. I swear Update continues to slay this season. The topical jokes are political satire are about top notch, and our two anchormenpersons continue to destroy your innards with laughs. 

Kyle Mooney returns as Baby Yoda (aka The Child) , the true star of The Mandalorian, and is better than ever as the rich male Jerry Springer guest we actually like and laugh with. 

Oh look, Diner Lobster Part 3 or Airport Bodega Part 2: Either Way It's Strange.

This time, Unnamed Chris Redd and Pete Davidson characters go to a Times Square souvenir shop and Pete Dave guy continues to go for disgusting item he shouldn't reach for, leading to the  Mulaney main worker character to admonish him and sing with random Times Square costume workers (led by Kenan) waxing lyrical about the weird, questionable yet resilient lives and jobs they live and work.

This has to be the most expendable sketch ever by now. Each time Mulaney appears they do a new version, and yet it turned out to be the best and brightest of them all. This one is no exception. But you wouldn't catch me wearing those clap-carrying driveway-making drawers. I get them but still. I can do damage to my own when they're clean.

Where were you during Moscow 1972?

Our musical guest The Strokes are a breath of fresh air. Their sweet, fun brand of indie/garage/punk rock is also needed at this time, and their SNL appearance tonight hits the mark. I'm starting to regret not listening to them when I had the chance to... but after tonight, I'll give them a listen or several.

For every "Musical Store" sketch, there's the "Mr. Bennet Gets Memed" sketch. This one I didn't feel as much as last time because it was written sloppily and quickly to cash in on number one and the directing was off. But the memes themselves were still funny. Although Mellisa and Heidi deserve better slots though. Also, if Benner wants a young adult 18-24, he could give Aalyah Mysterio a shout. She likes being confused. (What if y'all are okay with the WWE storyline with Rey Jr's daughter dating a 32-year-old grown man hand waving it as "two consenting adults", then you're okay with me making this joke.)

Overall, this was a very good episode. It's on par with Episode 2 with Bill Burr and Jack White, although this one slips a bit in quality and pacing towards the end and, mostly thanks to the long-as-hell "Souvenir Underwear" sketch. I see Lorne is back on his tick of featuring the top four cast members (Kenan, Kate McKinnon, Mikey FunDay and BeckBenn replacing the absent Cecily Strong, whom I think doesn't want to come back at this point - hope she's okay). Other Andew wasn't there either but Punkie and probably Lauren Holt too somewhere. Hopefully, the cast is spread evenly next week.

And speaking of next week, join me when Dave Chappelle hosts the second consecutive post-presidential election episode (musical guest TBA). Hopefully he won't have as much as a hard time as last time. Although he was brilliantly hilarious last time, so either way, it's gonna get the highest ratings so far. I bet you that.

Thank you everyone for joining me, a 26-year-old weirdo dressing as Fred Jones from Scooby-Doo to review the Halloween episode on Halloween Halloween night. Maybe next time it happens, I'll be married with kids in a deluxe apartment in the sky rich from my job as an ad executive... and still reviewing while dressed as D.D. from Clue Club. I'm Andrew Pollard saying "I love New York and I'm also that lady". Goodnight... and good riddance. 

Setting the Fire after Making the Rain | SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE 46 REVIEW: four - Adele & H.E.R.

Hello.

It's me.

How are you?

Can you hear me?

Oh. well.

At least I can say... I'm weird.

Welcome back to Saturday Night Live Review.

Tonight two incredibly talented women strut into Studio 8H and give us, the American audience needs right now: beautiful R&B music and what could be surprising talent in comedy.

Let's begin with our musical guest.

H.E.R. is and has been a wunderkind of a comperser and lyricist since her debut. In fact she had talent years ago as a little girl during anappearance in a singing kid segment on Today. Since then, her singles have been straight fire, her performances have inspired, her look (mostly sunglasses and fatigues at her beginnings) is mysterious yet highly lovely, and her many talents as an instrumentalist is second-to-none. She was born to appear on SNL. It's just a shock that she has hasn't appeared sooner. I just can't wait to see what she'll do.

Also under anticipation is Adele. This is bloody brilliant British blowout took the industry by storm when she released Chasing Pavements in 2008. I can't tell you how many times I've sung along to it, but I think I have less outward body parts than times I've bumped to it. But three platinum albums, singles that changed pop culture forever and a slimming look that dropped jaws. When I saw a pic of her after the hosting gig was revealed, mine was halfway to Brian Griffin's. Jiminy Cricket, the last person that shook me to the core with their change in appearance was Josh Peck. There was one time I've seen her be funny and that was a skit during one special she did when she went to a look-alike contest, acting homely and mousey and later surprised her "competition". That was hilarious. I hope the writers can tap into her homegrown humor and surprise us with a new comedy star instead of jokes of her Britishness. As if they don't do enough of that.

And so we begin with the last CO on the second and (thank all the deities) last Presidential debate. Instead of Kamala, Maya Rudolph appears as moderator Kristen Welker - who deserves a medal for dealing with 45.

This was a mostly boring and iffy. Alec Baldwin And Jim Carrey give their best as Trump and Biden, but the excirmenr and novelty has worn out more and more. I blame low number studio audience. And the writers for not even trying.

Loved the Eastwooding bit and Trumps joke on how 2020 has changed the scope of time in our minds. Plus, the racial jokes toward Welker and blacks were barely punchy but still chuckleworthy. When Carrey!Biden said Melatonin instead of Melanin, I knew I felt tired without taking that suppliment. The old jokes from Carrey!Biden can only go nowhere.

Finally making her way to the other side of the set, Adele's monologue was... Not much. Just jokes about her weight loss and the money ahe lost from her lowest selling single to a swear jar commendeered by Kenan. They were funny, I expected a bit more. But I guess the writers knew Adele is a first timer and needed to find her sea legs, so I understand they needed to tread lightly at the start.

So with the Sketch After, we get the big jump. In 2019, an excited and unassuming group of people visit a strange fortune teller (Kate McK of course) telling extremely off-the-wall and humiliating futures in 2020. This was a soft one, but its still pretty funny. Kate commanded the sketch but the other cast and Adele still had good reactions. Also, this has too be the straightest gay character Bowen Yang has played.

Chad is back once again, and proves to be one of the most expendable characters this show has ever seen. Not since  Samurai has this dude been in different situations and still ends the same way with laughs aplenty. Here he's at a haunted house with a ghostly owner telling her story and asking him to tell it. Only Chad doesn't so easily. I was truly mesmarised by Adele as the homeowner. Her voice is enchanting and her makeup screams Hollywood glamour.  This has to be one of the best Chad editions ever, and I can't believe theres a few.

If theres a good reason to still have Adele sing, this sketch is it. In yet another skit mocking The Bachelor, Adele appears on a reality dating show with other girls. They get annoyed when she gets the guy's attention and when she doesn't get it, she sings her songs. The joke is when the guy turns to other girls, Adele sings a song that fits in with the situation, and that is brilliant. Even when she isn't singing, she does very well done. And shout out to Heidi and Chloe and Aidy for their reactions.

Next up a pretape on what the aftermath of the election would be. As it turns out, Trump leaving and his behavior would still elicit the samw conversations. The accuracy is also on point, as yes this is what we talk about most of the time. ID rather go back to hating Baby Shark.

Time for an Update.

Pretty much all the jokes made me laugh out loud this week. Im so backed up, and guffaw so loud, thsts all I have time for.

Melissa Villasenor gave the best performance this week just from her appearance with her impressions of The Little Rascals, Stevie Nicks and Sia.

The Village People appear to shit on Trump, but then say some possible incriminating threats. This was just as great, thanks to Kenan's high-energy vocals, the other male members dancing, the studio audience clapping along and Jost's interrupting to say they're saying felonious threats.

Another home-run this season so far. Im starting to think most of the creative juices this season went to Update.

There is this sketch about these kids that visited their grandmother. It was funny but mostly weak.

Next is a travel commercial for Africa, where white women after their divorces go there to see the beaches, the oceans, the wildlife, the black man dick, the sunrise... wait what?

While the innuendo and subtlety was funny enough, Adele's corpsing upgraded it to hilarious. Her cracking up and continuing to the end were just perfect enough to make this the second best after the Bachelor rip off sketch.

Our musical guest H.E.R., is as Adele says, devine. Both her performances were if soul and rock had a baby, and a vibe that can't be explained for days but when you do, you get out something like "Yass, Queen!". While most performances so far have been incredible, H.E.R.'s is something I'd play for days soon after. And not just because her sound is my speed (although it's mostly the reason).

Lastly, a spoof on 80s ads you'd find on MTV and 80s pop-rock music all in one. Ass Angel Designer Jeans. They make your derriere smell very fair... And is a kidney killer. It was real good and well done for what it is. Too bad the audience didn't think so.

Such a smashing episode. While there wasn't many uproarious or servile humor to be found, the jokes were mostly funny and charming. Adele really has a gift for comedy and was a fantastic host. Her otber talent still found a way into the show and was still amazing. (Lucky frickin audience!) I have no doubt Lorne and the producers will try at the after party to convince her to return for a double bill next season when her next album drops (Im guessing 29 or 30). As for H.E.R., wow. I love when she performs live, and this set was no exception. Her soft smooth grooves were slick and sensational. Her current and later albums should be red hot hits (if they haven't been already).

Next week, epsiode will be the first episode to air exactly on Halloween! Join host (former writer and comedian) John Mulaney and musical guest The Strokes as the cast tries their hardest for the sketches to be both funny and scary. Sure can't top the 1981 Halloween epsiode (wow was that traumatic). We shall see.

Until then, goodnight... And keep on chasing pavements, turning tables, setting fire to the rain, rolling in the deep and finding someone like you. Never focus on me.