MaroonMondays Awards Reviews: Grammys 2014

([ZZZZZZZZ] Huhh? What? Ohh. Oh man. What time is it? Oh snap, gotta make the review!!)

Hi everyone and welcome to MaroonMondays Awards Reviews, where I, Andrew, bring you my thoughts on the big awards ceremonies...and and tries to be funny with it.

This time around, I review the 56th Grammy Awards, the biggest night in music, and (to me) the biggest waste of time and energy in my life. So why do I watch? Because I have a blog that needs stuff like this to survive. The Grammy Awards is one of them.

Here's how I felt after watching last years' show:

Seriously, after watching some of the performances, I felt really tired. Alicia Keys; boring. Frank Ocean; snoozefest. Coldplay? More like Oy vey. Prince? Wait, Prince didn't perform. Lost my train of thought. Oh yeah; To put this in perspective, if my sister brings her kids to visit me and act up past bedtime, I'd turn this on and they'd be knocked out in minutes. So since then, I've hoped for a better, more exciting, more entertaining and all-around great show. And maybe I've got one.

We start with Beyonce on a chair, performing her big steamy hit "Drunk in Love". Previously, that means someone's gonna perform a song acoustically. Now a days, it's someone using said chair to grind, lap, and sex their way to Naughtyville. Although she didn't do much on (and off) the chair, Beyonce sang beautifully, even better than when she sang on the track itself. And of course her husband Jay Z performed with his hottie-hot wife, grinding their beautiful bodies together as the song progresses. (I'm not a fan of his verse, but he "spat", if I shall say, very well.) Many people say that this performance wasn't really good; they just put too many expectations on her; I didn't. They wanted a big production with dancers and bright shiny lights and fire, and they got a woman sitting on a chair with bright shiny lights. It's still sexy to me, obviously because of who's performing it.

After the opening act, host LL Cool J did his hosting bit, and I think he did better here than he did all of last year. He was more loose, on point, and less wooden.

After that, Lorde performed her monster hit that crudely destroys rappers, pop stars and their lifestyles that we'll never have ever, "Royals". Everything was dark (which makes sense because, like the song, it wasn't flashy) and she sang--well--odd. While her voice was good, it seem like she was making her voice way different from in the song. I hate when people do that. Also she was moving around like an emu or ostrich or Bjorn performing live. It was questionable to me, but I still liked it.

Hunter Hayes later came out, performing a new song called "Invisible". It's one of those "If you've been bullied and/or outcast, then you're not alone, so I wrote this for you" songs as of late. He sang well, but I thought he had nerves, but that's fine for a Grammy newcomer. I think he's pretty talented and will do very well in the Country world. Oh and it's not about cars, girls from the south, and beer by the keg--y'know, with lots of twang.

Katy Perry sang a track from her latest album called "Dark Horse", which, to me, sounds like the closest thing Katy has to reaching Hip-Hop with this song. The stage was dark and gloomy, which I find nice. Rapper/Professional strip club critic in disguise/sadly still an ACADEMY AWARD winner Juicy J joined her later for his guest verse. I actually like his verse, mostly because it's not about strip clubs, strippers, and other generic rap crap. I hate the way he sounds when he raps, but I'll give an exception here. Also that red light on her chest looked like her tits have bones
which probably explains why they're so big.

Robin Thicke was joined by legendary band Chicago for two of their classic hits "Does Anybody Really Know What Time it Is?", "Beginnings" and "Saturday in the Park", along with Thicke's mega-hit "Blurred Lines". I think this was a nicely meh set, even though others said it was horrible and that "Blurred Lines" is a rape song (STILL?!?) and that he shouldn't have sang with them---blah blah blah. Overdramatic. Also I only know the choruses to the Chicago songs, so I can't tell if the critics were right about Robin messing up the lyrics to the songs, so time will tell. Overall it was a really good job.

Next, two short performances from John Legend and Taylor Swift.

Legend performed his beautiful love ballad "All of Me", which was simply wonderful; just him and a piano under low lights singing. I then noticed some woman watching him from a close distance; then I noticed that it's his wife. Anyway that is a beautiful song about falling in love with someone no matter what they look like on the outside; Inner Beauty works.

Straight after an award was given, Taylor Swift appeared to sing a new song called "All Too Well". She did great, even though it was one of her many (in)famous break-up songs, which I hate. And that headbanging thing? It basically got media coverage. And at the end, she looks at the audience with a stern look on her face, like she's saying "Whatever".

I actually laughed at that.
I smell GIF status. I even saw, in my mind, a fake Twitter account. Basically half of everything on this show got a fake Twitter account, including Pharell's big, brown, gawdy Ranger's hat.

Later on, P!nk, one of the most spontaneous, inspiring and sexy performers in pop perfromed "Try", a song about taking risks in love, and "Just Give Me a Reason", a song about how a couple's relationship isn't really bad, but just needs repair. Fun.'s Nate Reuss joined her for the latter song. I loved P!nk's voice and amazing acrobatics (after her more-than-fantastic performance of "Glitter in the Air" years ago, but--I hated hearing Nate Reuss' voice. He sounds like a woman (obviously) trying to sing like a man, and he looks the part too (not as much as Justin Bieber, though) but failed horribly. I myself might not have a great voice, but I'd rather hear me sing this live than him. At least he sounds great on the track.

The surviving members of The Beatles performed last night just weeks before the 50th anniversary of their historic first American television performance on The Ed Sullivan Show. I'll get to Paul McCartney later, but first up, Ringo Starr brought the house down with his latest song "Photograph". He really had some energy to pick up because performed the crap out of that song. For a guy his age and considering what band he was a member of, he really did great.

Alt-rock band Imagine Dragons and revival of Hip Hop Kendrick Lamar joined forces to perform the singles "Radioactive" and "mAAd city". I really don't like when Imagine performes this song live, especially when the frontman sings. It gets really loud and I hate when he says "Radioactive". Also, I feel the song is overrated to me now, because of how many times I hear on TV and the radio. But I did love when they performed with K-Dot on "mAAd city". It's a fantastic piece about his life growing up in Compton, CA and the struggles and tribulations throughout childhood and adulthood. I would hate to be him.

But of course this performance will be more remembered for Taylor Swift grooving to the beat like a black girl at a block party. I said to myself of this, "This is probably going to be a meme soon".

I noticed after that that all of the performances were in dark lighting. I don't know if it was a them for this years' show, or someone at the Staples Center dimmed the lights a little (or a lot). It definitely wan't the TV though.

Kacey Musgraves followed straight after with "Follow Your Arrow". Although she sounded great, all I heard from the song was "Kiss lots of boys, and kiss lots of girls', so I assume it's about being against or for being a bisexual. But it's actually being (and staying true to) yourself; following you arrow. Meh, that's fine, but from what I head, the song basically says "It's okay to be whatever you feel; skinny, fat, gay, straight (as an arrow) or someone who likes to kiss a lot. No one's gonna stop you."--that or just let Kacey judge and then be what she tells you to be.

Ringo came back with his fellow Beatle Paul to sing one of McCartney's latest songs "Queenie Eye". It was wonderful seeing these two best friends and legends get together on stage again, especially for the Ed Sullivan anniversary. And Hearing them perform is fantastic. And the song is great too.

I didn't watch any more after that. So after watching them the next day on YT, here are my thoughts on more of the performances:
-Metallica rocked it out of the park their performance of "One" with Lang Lang.
-Daft Punk killed it with their biggest hits, including "Get Lucky", with Pharell, Chic's Nile Rodgers, and STEVIE WONDER on hand to burn the stage. "Le Freak" and Wonder's "Another Star" also played briefly.
-Sara Bareilles looked like she was going to die happy after performing with her idol, the legendary Carole King when both sang King's "Beautiful" and Bareilles' "Brave". Both did so stupendously.

-Macklemore & Ryan Lewis brought out Mary Lambert, Queen Latifah, Madonna, Trombone Shorty & Orleans Avenue and 30 straight, gay, bisexaul and biracial couples to give us one beautiful, inspiring and powerful performance of "Same Love" and "Open Your Heart". If I watched live, I would've cried. I think I'm crying now.
-Green Day's Billie Joe Armstrong and Miranda Lambert joined together for a really great performance of "When Will I Be Loved" and
-Nine Inch Nails, Queens of the Stone Age, Foo Fighters' Dave Grohl and Lindsey Buckingham ended the night with an awesome set of "Copy of A" and "My God Is the Sun".

And that's the show it was very exciting, more watchable and way less boring than last year. I don't know if I think next year will be better or equal. (It will probably be boring, I don't know.)
Well, I'll see you February 2 for Super Bowl XLVIII. Until then, this is Andrew saying, "Good-Good (laughs) Bye!" and "SERFBUARD!"