Remembering Alex Trebek: Jeopardy! Host Deceased at 80

Greetings, everyone. 

I'm here to talk a little bit about some heartbreaking news from the entertainment industry.

Jeopardy! host Alex Trebek passed away earlier today at the age of 80. He has been battling pancreatic cancer for the past year plus as he revealed last March. 

Trebek hosted the revival of Jeopardy! since its debut in 1984, and won seven Daytime Emmy Awards in the years since for his work in the legendary professor's podium. Trebek has hosted other game shows in his decades long career including Wizard of Odds, Double Dare, High Rollers and Classic Concentration.

This man was one of my favorite television personalities and an inspiration to me. When I was a kid, while most other kids watched cartoons and kid comedies and the like, when I finished my homework,  I'd watch the news and when 7pm hit, I'd turn to my local ABC station to watch Jeopardy! This show meant so much to me in many ways since I was a young man. I loved Johnny Gilbert's boisterous and awesome opening narration, rooting for three different contestants to show off their smarts to their best and  win cash, and learn so many new things I never would before. But the one thing I look forward to the most is Trebek's hosting. His calm and caring yet intense and dour demeanor, sweet and sour personality and entertaining demeanor and rapport with the contestants wowed me over when I first watched and I just adored every time ever since. His talents are everlasting and his work on the show (and the rest of his incredible) is forever iconic.

Trebek hosted tapings of this current - and now his final - season of Jeopardy! until October 29, with fresh new editions airing until January 8. I will do my absolute best to watch them all live (or at least later in the evening on DVR), and I'm sure millions upon millioms of other viewers and fans will too. And his final episode will no doubt break ratings records, with me crying like a baby when it ends.

Jeopardy! will never be the same without him, and I - like many millions of fans throughout the world - will miss him very much.

My love, prayers, condolences are to his family, friends, Johnny Gilbert, colleagues and the Jeopardy! staff.

Rest in Peace and Thank You for everything, Mr. Trebek.

Here Lies Mulaney. A Show About Nothing... Funny (2014-2015) | StAbUrDaY/fRiGhT\diVe=REVIEW: fIVe - John Mulaney & The Strokes (The Halloween Episode... on Halloween!)

 

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That's Drak Pack!

Welcome. Come on in.

I'm Andrew Pollard, and I'm your guide for a deep descent into the dark, dreary, deviant, depressing and decidedly decent den of sketch comedy in the year 2020.

2020 has been a year, no? A year of depression, illness, paranoia, mania, separation, isolation, loss of feeling, loss of employment, loss of life, loss of enjoyment, loss of toilet paper... So much that came this year from one thing or another hit us like a ton of bricks , and yet the one thing that made us shed the most tears was the Peanuts holiday specials are no longer airing on network television. (Seriously? The tradition's not dead! Just buy them on DVD or digital, or swallow your pride and sign up for Apple, it's free for three days. It's not deep.)

But in these times, we all need a laugh before we go a little crazy, one of the most prominent spaces to get one is Saturday Night Live. So far, the 46th season is... mixed. Some episodes had me nearly die laughing, others nearly make me want to die. But hey, any season after five makes you feel that way, right? But since we're in a certain pandemic, even the worst sketches seem like comedy gold. right? Well, that's what we'll hopefully get this empty Halloween night (and it's rare for SNL to have a Halloween episode on Halloween, so that's a treat.) And with our host this week, comedian, former show writer and victim of a shitty Seinfeld-esque sitcom namesake (that reached a grizzly, gruesome, critically-maligned and well-deserved demise), John Mulaney, there's a promise of no tricks. Each and every time he's hosted, his light, smarmy attitude and evenly quirky-yet-surprisingly brashly humor (whether in the monologue or in sketches) has me on the floor (Although the big joke to me coming in is that despite being a well-known and liked comic, the show still manages to find white guys as musical guest that are even more well-known and liked (like the second you hear their name).) Hell, I listen to "Look What God Made Her" by Thomas Rhett more times than any of Mulaney's stand-up routines. That's my standing with him.

Also a treat, returning musical guest The Strokes. While I've never played their music, their appearance in my mental consciousness is strong, thanks to this show and their sets have been straight rock bangers I've enjoyed from the word "go". I'm sure their appearance here will not disappoint. 

We begin with a Cold Open featuring Joe Biden (played by Jim Carrey, who has to be a cast member at this point) reminding America a horrid nightmare that it got itself into - electing Donald Trump.

It's hilarious, well-written and mixed political satire and corny spooky stories together. I'm now in the pro-Carrey-as-Biden camp again, Kate McKinnon returns flawlessly as Hillary along with nice touches of Mikey Day as Nate Silver, Kenan as Ice Cube (?), Chris Redd as Lil Wayne (if he got his face stung by a bee), Maya Rudolph as Kamala and Beck Bennett as blue-hand Mitch McConnell  (whom at this point I'd be happy to dance on his grave when it happens). Let's hope all goes well on November 3

... and beyond. 

Mulaney continues to kill with his stand up monologue. Hits include comedians being "last responders", the fun of watching NY Governor Andrew Cuomo's daily Coronavirus press conferences, the arguments of family taking the kids to grandma's, "Play Covid!", the game of "America's Favorite Grandpa" (and praising Jane Lynch), "new nazis" and especially the one with the one girl at the bitch of a classmate's sleepover. His story about his 94year-old grandmother is something special too. The audience is there, but they still don't accentuate how hilarious Mulaney's set is. 

Ahh, Cinema Classics. One sketch that comes up behind you and hits you over with brilliant one liners and random stuff that happens from classic films. This time it's The Birds - that classic Hitchcock film where he tortured Tippi Hendren the whole time.  The campiness and absurdity of the iconic payphone scene is delicious, Kate McK's take on Hendren is wonderful, the sardonic performance by Mulaney is fantastic and the use of puppets birds is life-changing.

Reese De'What can reminisce on my life if he'd like.

The Pre-Tape After, Strollin', add levity to the struggle black community goes through to vote in the election. The funk and soul riff is badd, the stars of the sketch (Kenan, Reddman, Lego My Ego and PUNKIE POWER!) are dyn-o-mite! and the production is perfectly shot. I love this one and this was needed at this time to give us hope to find whatever polling places are in white neighborhoods, go to them in carpools and wait as long as possible (with snacks from the nearby Dollar Tree).

Next week, the post-election sixth episode... hosted by... DAVE CHAPPELLE! (Yes again.)

The next time I read or watch the stories of Ichabod Crane and the Headless Horseman, I'll always remember when Crane, Pete Davidson and Mikey "Mr. Sketch Security" Day asking H2 if he blows himself, roll into women's bathrooms, and other strange things to keep them from going to hell. I have a feeling Mulaney co-wrote this sketch, because that's his strongsuit. But the jokes are pretty inventive and hilarious.

Speaking of Job Security... Kate McK stars in this sketch celebrating New York City as it gets back to being itself  after the summer pandemic-- a vast wasteland of assholes, commercialism and lots of trains. But the light, airy, sweet lens and praise of frontline workers and helping hand neighbors makes it all good.

THE OCCASIONALLY PLACED LED BACKGOUND SCREEN TELLS YOU TO

OBEY.

Update Time!

First off, congratulations to the newly-married Mr. Scarlett Johansson, Colin Jost!

This week, he and Michael Che discuss President Trump keeping his fans freezing in the cold during one of his rallies and shaming the people who save his obese orange ass from dying, rich black rappers supporting 45 just to keep from paying more taxes, Jared Kushner being a little racist shit again, and the hope of Trump not getting reelected. I swear Update continues to slay this season. The topical jokes are political satire are about top notch, and our two anchormenpersons continue to destroy your innards with laughs. 

Kyle Mooney returns as Baby Yoda (aka The Child) , the true star of The Mandalorian, and is better than ever as the rich male Jerry Springer guest we actually like and laugh with. 

Oh look, Diner Lobster Part 3 or Airport Bodega Part 2: Either Way It's Strange.

This time, Unnamed Chris Redd and Pete Davidson characters go to a Times Square souvenir shop and Pete Dave guy continues to go for disgusting item he shouldn't reach for, leading to the  Mulaney main worker character to admonish him and sing with random Times Square costume workers (led by Kenan) waxing lyrical about the weird, questionable yet resilient lives and jobs they live and work.

This has to be the most expendable sketch ever by now. Each time Mulaney appears they do a new version, and yet it turned out to be the best and brightest of them all. This one is no exception. But you wouldn't catch me wearing those clap-carrying driveway-making drawers. I get them but still. I can do damage to my own when they're clean.

Where were you during Moscow 1972?

Our musical guest The Strokes are a breath of fresh air. Their sweet, fun brand of indie/garage/punk rock is also needed at this time, and their SNL appearance tonight hits the mark. I'm starting to regret not listening to them when I had the chance to... but after tonight, I'll give them a listen or several.

For every "Musical Store" sketch, there's the "Mr. Bennet Gets Memed" sketch. This one I didn't feel as much as last time because it was written sloppily and quickly to cash in on number one and the directing was off. But the memes themselves were still funny. Although Mellisa and Heidi deserve better slots though. Also, if Benner wants a young adult 18-24, he could give Aalyah Mysterio a shout. She likes being confused. (What if y'all are okay with the WWE storyline with Rey Jr's daughter dating a 32-year-old grown man hand waving it as "two consenting adults", then you're okay with me making this joke.)

Overall, this was a very good episode. It's on par with Episode 2 with Bill Burr and Jack White, although this one slips a bit in quality and pacing towards the end and, mostly thanks to the long-as-hell "Souvenir Underwear" sketch. I see Lorne is back on his tick of featuring the top four cast members (Kenan, Kate McKinnon, Mikey FunDay and BeckBenn replacing the absent Cecily Strong, whom I think doesn't want to come back at this point - hope she's okay). Other Andew wasn't there either but Punkie and probably Lauren Holt too somewhere. Hopefully, the cast is spread evenly next week.

And speaking of next week, join me when Dave Chappelle hosts the second consecutive post-presidential election episode (musical guest TBA). Hopefully he won't have as much as a hard time as last time. Although he was brilliantly hilarious last time, so either way, it's gonna get the highest ratings so far. I bet you that.

Thank you everyone for joining me, a 26-year-old weirdo dressing as Fred Jones from Scooby-Doo to review the Halloween episode on Halloween Halloween night. Maybe next time it happens, I'll be married with kids in a deluxe apartment in the sky rich from my job as an ad executive... and still reviewing while dressed as D.D. from Clue Club. I'm Andrew Pollard saying "I love New York and I'm also that lady". Goodnight... and good riddance. 

Setting the Fire after Making the Rain | SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE 46 REVIEW: four - Adele & H.E.R.

Hello.

It's me.

How are you?

Can you hear me?

Oh. well.

At least I can say... I'm weird.

Welcome back to Saturday Night Live Review.

Tonight two incredibly talented women strut into Studio 8H and give us, the American audience needs right now: beautiful R&B music and what could be surprising talent in comedy.

Let's begin with our musical guest.

H.E.R. is and has been a wunderkind of a comperser and lyricist since her debut. In fact she had talent years ago as a little girl during anappearance in a singing kid segment on Today. Since then, her singles have been straight fire, her performances have inspired, her look (mostly sunglasses and fatigues at her beginnings) is mysterious yet highly lovely, and her many talents as an instrumentalist is second-to-none. She was born to appear on SNL. It's just a shock that she has hasn't appeared sooner. I just can't wait to see what she'll do.

Also under anticipation is Adele. This is bloody brilliant British blowout took the industry by storm when she released Chasing Pavements in 2008. I can't tell you how many times I've sung along to it, but I think I have less outward body parts than times I've bumped to it. But three platinum albums, singles that changed pop culture forever and a slimming look that dropped jaws. When I saw a pic of her after the hosting gig was revealed, mine was halfway to Brian Griffin's. Jiminy Cricket, the last person that shook me to the core with their change in appearance was Josh Peck. There was one time I've seen her be funny and that was a skit during one special she did when she went to a look-alike contest, acting homely and mousey and later surprised her "competition". That was hilarious. I hope the writers can tap into her homegrown humor and surprise us with a new comedy star instead of jokes of her Britishness. As if they don't do enough of that.

And so we begin with the last CO on the second and (thank all the deities) last Presidential debate. Instead of Kamala, Maya Rudolph appears as moderator Kristen Welker - who deserves a medal for dealing with 45.

This was a mostly boring and iffy. Alec Baldwin And Jim Carrey give their best as Trump and Biden, but the excirmenr and novelty has worn out more and more. I blame low number studio audience. And the writers for not even trying.

Loved the Eastwooding bit and Trumps joke on how 2020 has changed the scope of time in our minds. Plus, the racial jokes toward Welker and blacks were barely punchy but still chuckleworthy. When Carrey!Biden said Melatonin instead of Melanin, I knew I felt tired without taking that suppliment. The old jokes from Carrey!Biden can only go nowhere.

Finally making her way to the other side of the set, Adele's monologue was... Not much. Just jokes about her weight loss and the money ahe lost from her lowest selling single to a swear jar commendeered by Kenan. They were funny, I expected a bit more. But I guess the writers knew Adele is a first timer and needed to find her sea legs, so I understand they needed to tread lightly at the start.

So with the Sketch After, we get the big jump. In 2019, an excited and unassuming group of people visit a strange fortune teller (Kate McK of course) telling extremely off-the-wall and humiliating futures in 2020. This was a soft one, but its still pretty funny. Kate commanded the sketch but the other cast and Adele still had good reactions. Also, this has too be the straightest gay character Bowen Yang has played.

Chad is back once again, and proves to be one of the most expendable characters this show has ever seen. Not since  Samurai has this dude been in different situations and still ends the same way with laughs aplenty. Here he's at a haunted house with a ghostly owner telling her story and asking him to tell it. Only Chad doesn't so easily. I was truly mesmarised by Adele as the homeowner. Her voice is enchanting and her makeup screams Hollywood glamour.  This has to be one of the best Chad editions ever, and I can't believe theres a few.

If theres a good reason to still have Adele sing, this sketch is it. In yet another skit mocking The Bachelor, Adele appears on a reality dating show with other girls. They get annoyed when she gets the guy's attention and when she doesn't get it, she sings her songs. The joke is when the guy turns to other girls, Adele sings a song that fits in with the situation, and that is brilliant. Even when she isn't singing, she does very well done. And shout out to Heidi and Chloe and Aidy for their reactions.

Next up a pretape on what the aftermath of the election would be. As it turns out, Trump leaving and his behavior would still elicit the samw conversations. The accuracy is also on point, as yes this is what we talk about most of the time. ID rather go back to hating Baby Shark.

Time for an Update.

Pretty much all the jokes made me laugh out loud this week. Im so backed up, and guffaw so loud, thsts all I have time for.

Melissa Villasenor gave the best performance this week just from her appearance with her impressions of The Little Rascals, Stevie Nicks and Sia.

The Village People appear to shit on Trump, but then say some possible incriminating threats. This was just as great, thanks to Kenan's high-energy vocals, the other male members dancing, the studio audience clapping along and Jost's interrupting to say they're saying felonious threats.

Another home-run this season so far. Im starting to think most of the creative juices this season went to Update.

There is this sketch about these kids that visited their grandmother. It was funny but mostly weak.

Next is a travel commercial for Africa, where white women after their divorces go there to see the beaches, the oceans, the wildlife, the black man dick, the sunrise... wait what?

While the innuendo and subtlety was funny enough, Adele's corpsing upgraded it to hilarious. Her cracking up and continuing to the end were just perfect enough to make this the second best after the Bachelor rip off sketch.

Our musical guest H.E.R., is as Adele says, devine. Both her performances were if soul and rock had a baby, and a vibe that can't be explained for days but when you do, you get out something like "Yass, Queen!". While most performances so far have been incredible, H.E.R.'s is something I'd play for days soon after. And not just because her sound is my speed (although it's mostly the reason).

Lastly, a spoof on 80s ads you'd find on MTV and 80s pop-rock music all in one. Ass Angel Designer Jeans. They make your derriere smell very fair... And is a kidney killer. It was real good and well done for what it is. Too bad the audience didn't think so.

Such a smashing episode. While there wasn't many uproarious or servile humor to be found, the jokes were mostly funny and charming. Adele really has a gift for comedy and was a fantastic host. Her otber talent still found a way into the show and was still amazing. (Lucky frickin audience!) I have no doubt Lorne and the producers will try at the after party to convince her to return for a double bill next season when her next album drops (Im guessing 29 or 30). As for H.E.R., wow. I love when she performs live, and this set was no exception. Her soft smooth grooves were slick and sensational. Her current and later albums should be red hot hits (if they haven't been already).

Next week, epsiode will be the first episode to air exactly on Halloween! Join host (former writer and comedian) John Mulaney and musical guest The Strokes as the cast tries their hardest for the sketches to be both funny and scary. Sure can't top the 1981 Halloween epsiode (wow was that traumatic). We shall see.

Until then, goodnight... And keep on chasing pavements, turning tables, setting fire to the rain, rolling in the deep and finding someone like you. Never focus on me.

My Thoughts on "Tyler Perry's Assisted Living"

You know when that feeling when you're older and your best days are just about behind you, and your family plans on sending you to a home? No. Oh right, you're not there yet. Well, if you watch The Golden Girls, and listen to Sophia share horror stories about an attrocious retirement facility she previously lived in, Shady Pines? Well, this series about IS TWENTY TIMES WORSE.

The show I'm talking about is Assisted Living, the new sitcom from Tyler Perry, a... Well, you can call him black triple-threat and visionary, while I'll call him wheel-spinning, uncreative, overpaid, underwrought chitlin-circuit-reviving hack.

In Assisted Living, a man named Jeremy and his family (wife Leah, son Phillip, and daughter Sandra) travel from Chicago to suburban Georgia to meet up with his grandfather Vinny at a rundown shithole of an assisted living facility. There, he asks to pick up his inheritance from his late grandmother, only to find out that his hook-handed hellraiser of a elder relative stole the inheritance to purchase the facility (where the other patients have either died off or he may have killed them one by one; I can't tell because the dialogue made me feel like I would die off myself) and use it as his new home ... or tourist trap (He reminds me of Grunkle Stanley Pines from Gravity Falls, but not as funny, lovable, compelling, interesting or even redeemable [read: not at all]), leaving our main character furious and his family shocked. At the end of the second episode, after Jeremy walks throughout the place to find dear old grandpa (one joke called it an abyss; and I'll link to that negatively in a minute) and I say through the kids being talkative, disrespectful brats and the mom making the joke of threatening her kin with child abuse even less funny than it already is (not at all), our "hero" finally tries to reason with Captain Hook-if he finally stopped chasing after Peter Pan and lived his days being unfunny-and-unevil about why he took the inheritance money to buy what he calls home (and I call Satan's waiting room). He just couldn't be reasoned with so we end with a fight to the death-- I mean, for the inheritance. Grandpa hits grandson? No sell. Grandson hits grandpa? Pow! right in the kisser. Grandson runs like Greg Wulliger (aka like a bitch) and end scene.

All of this may sound interesting considering the guy that gave you the Madea films. But no... it's not. Assisted Living is like a retirement home: horrible, run down, negligible, and has this pray-for-death-as-its-better-than-this-treatment.

The writing is God-awful! Every joke Perry gives us is weak, cringe, exaggerated (thanks to the loud, overused laugh track), and featured modern-age stereotypes and behavior that send us back to the days of Amos n Andy (and I don't mean the TV show with actual black actors, I mean the radio show with its creators trying and failing to sound like black actors - they're white! Ahh, radio. Such a blessing to get away with racist minstrel shit on a national scale). Add to that, the entire dialogue takes forever to get to the point of why, when, where or how a certain plotline has taken place. Not a minute goes by without half a page worth of one or two characters saying a joke or speaking back and forth about something - a person, place, thing or memory. And either the jokes do not land (leading to a garbage punchline) or story or item that is even less interesting or compelling than what we started with. Nothing about the writing was good or even attentive (and Perry isn't exactly Jordan Peele or Ava Duvernay or Bryan Fuller or Christopher Nolan, but at least he gets the work done half of the time). And I feel like I've lost an hour of my life I damn well know I regretfully won't get back because of it. Maybe I should live there as it's usually a place I know can't take me back to the best days of it. Hopefully, I won't bump into any of these people. And speaking of...

The characters are unlikable. Each and every one of the family featured here have nothing to like, fascinate, be amused by or enjoy.

- Jeremy is dull, uninteresting and bland. Every line his actor speaks has no emotion or humor. But I can tolerate him over the rest.

- His wife Leah is sometimes a sensible, caring mom and sometimes an approximation of the stock black TV mom in predominantly black sitcoms. No not like Clair Huxtable or Harriette Winslow, but those moms who yells loud at their children when they act up and sometimes insults them and threatens child abuse on them for even the most minor of offenses, like Nikki Parker or Rochelle Rock. You know for laughs. (But at least, those two are written much better and funnier.) Apparently Perry always sees this as funny like Vince McMahon always finds toilet hunor, mental dysfunction and racist caricatures funny.

Their kids Sandra and Phillip are caricatures of TV kids and real life black kids today. Phone strapped to the hip, smart-ass mouths to their families, more knowledge and interest in ghetto hoodrat culture like Worldstar, This is 50, Shade Room, black Instagram and black Twitter (or if the teens are white - Starbucks, record stores, dry bars, Instagram and Twitter) (I may be exaggerating a bit).  This is what Perry thinks kids are like today. He's not 100% wrong but still.

- And finally tthere's Vinny. He's exactly what an old person thinks they are: cool, in-touch, funny and beloved -- but clinging onto what they thought was cool, in touch and funny years ago. Hell, I'll even say he's what white people thought black people were when Birth of a Nation came out (except the raping, pillaging and buckwilding of course). He's loud, assertive, ignorant, bitter, foolish, prideful and uncaring -- all those things old people who weren't loved and cared for as a child turned out as in their wanting years. These would be when I would say that even good characters can have these traits when written right. But he's not a good character and he's not written right, and those bad traits are just the start. Every time he speaks, it feels like twice the time it takes to go to the bathroom and back, his antics are stupid and selfish (buying the house with Jeremy's inheritance is the start of his warfare) and his hook for a right hand feels like a prop for shitty jokes than a heartbreaking aftermath of the loss of an important appendage. If he was my grandfather, the moment I hear that he'd stolen my inheritance from me to buy a shitty, dilapidated Indian burial ground of a house, I'd use his cupholder of a hook and kill him with it, then bury him in the graveyard across the street later that night while no one noticed (yes, it's mentioned that there is a graveyard built opposite the house. Not important.)

The show also has horrid sound mixing - the cast has an echo when they talk and the laugh track is somehow louder, maybe to mask the trite jokes and prodding dialogue; the lighting is too bright and flushed; the sets are too on the nose to be good; and the writing leaves a bad taste in my mouth (sadly not the cause of my acid reflux). Half the script features actual cursing - but BET censured them all, making the show much more empty and much more unintentionally humorous. You can hear half-second silence in many places for the whole run. If the writers or the network can't make up their minds on if we have to hear the word "shit" or "bitch" in the show, then what's the point?

Duing the time it took for the next scene to end, the scene after the credits revealed that the family will live in the place and possibly open it as new retirement home. I would never send even a family member I hate there. I'd just sell it for whatever it can be sold for (to renovate then flip or destroy) and buy an apartment then bathe myself with the rest. Much better than to live with my ugly-hearted thieving grandpa, my wife whom I probably married for her body, and two smart-mouth ingrates of kids who look and sound like carbon copies of Andre Jr. and Zoey Johnson (but not as funny, likable or compelling [sorry, not at all]) or two other characters from another mostly horribly unfunny show. Leroy Brown and Cora Simmons from Meet the Browns are also featured in Assisted Living, but so far do not appear despite BET hyping the hell out of their appearances in ads for the show. And if you watch House of Payne (which returned after 8 years earlier in the evening and is at least better because it's well known despite the same horrible pacing and NASCAR-circling writing), one character is mentioned a lot but doesn't appear throughout the first two episodes, along with two others. The same thing is present with Brown and Cora (get it? Characters not being present is present in these shows? Ha, irony). It felt like a copout and a letdown. It's like the producers did this intentionally to draw us into the show and this damn family to wait for them then keep us hooked just enough to wait for the next episodes for it to finally happen. If so, hopefully it's not the last episodes. But you won't catch me watching. Maybe the one with Brown and Cora actually appear then afterward wish that Meet the Browns returned instead. Sure, that sucks too (and even more than I was younger and stupider too), but at least I know that show much more.

Assisted Living is a horrible sitcom. Then again, it's Tyler Perry; what did you expect? If you're a Diehard Perry fan, this may be for you. Everyone else, AVOID THIS LIKE THE RETIREMENT HOME YOU WOULDN'T WANT TO BE TRICKED INTO STAYING IN!

I'm Andrew... and you're welcome.

NBC Nightly News: First Broadcast Review

1 Season Wonder!: Where's Huddles?

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“SAVAGES!”

TT for Toony Tuesday: F is for Family - S3 is Season Three

What it is, fellow Earthlings?

Brotha Andrew is back to gab on the latest batch of crazy, radical, bummer and outta sight episodes of F is for Family. Season Three to be exact. 

This season - like the second - continued the plotlines that just continue on. After ending where things could be a fresh new start with smiles, lollipops and rainbows for the Murphy family and their friends, of course life dealt them the brutal slap in the face known as reality.

- Frank is back at work at Mohican Airways, and has been promoted to luggage manager. But things come to a boil when coworker and best friend Rosie quits after he isn't promoted, and runs for city alderman.

- Sue is now pregnant with the family's fourth child, and - after quitting Plasti-Ware after the owner steals her brilliant salad spinner invention - tries her hand at entrepreneurship by starting up her own company with friend and fellow quitter Vivian.

- Kevin is now in summer school and, after dropping his asshole acquaintances like ants on an apple, gets a new group of friends that are just as bad but are better in most regards.

- Bill is still the devil's plaything, seeing even more traumatizing things any child could get PTSD from just one, and now has a "girlfriend" (his bully's somehow even more twisted sister) treating him like her bitch. 

- Maureen is ... doing stuff. I couldn't care less. I remember her getting on a clown show and actually close to winning a ring toss game, but the clown host fucked it up to keep the gifts for himself. (I actually felt sorry for her).

- Major is still around, humping anything and everything in sight.

Speaking on "major", the family's neighbors and friends have gone through changes as well.

-Sue's friend Ginny and her closeted gay husband Greg have finally divorced. While Greg is now living it up as an openly gay man (which made me extremely happy for him), Ginny is still a clingy, shallow, pathetic, questionable, self-absorbed excuse of a woman throwing herself at anyone with a pulse - including Otto Holtenwasser. Poor sweetheart.

-Otto, speaking of, is still our favorite sweetie of a Holocaust survivor, but has an edge to him.

- Bill's bestie Phillip has a diary that shows some... horrifying thoughts to people he doesn't like as a way to cope.

- Frank's co-workers are still doing their jobs at Mohican Airways.

-- But after being disrespected and passed over for a promotion, Rosie quits the company to tun for city alderman.

-- Bob Pogo has repented and is now on good terms with Frank and the other workers. I didn't remember much from him this season besides failing to save Bill in the finale.

-- Red and Carl are still shitty luggage carriers. And are still going on about Fuck School (their porno story).

-- After the deaths of the Dunbartons -- greedy asshole owner Roger and insane, brain-dead racist nephew Scoop, the former's wife Brandy takes the mantle as company owner. She was forgettable.

New characters:

- Chet Stevenson: He's a Vietnam vet who moves into town with his wife...

- Nguyen-Nguyen, Vietnam survivor whom marries Chet after the war.

- Bridget Fitzsimmons, little sister of Bill's bully Jimmy whom has a crush on and starts a relationship with the latter.

- Anthony Bonfiglio, baby brother of Bill's best friend Phillip. He's retarded. (What?? It was an acceptable word on TV back then).

- Jeffery Dahmer, neighborhood little asshole. 

And now, what did I think of this season?

It was great... but I didn't love it. It's pretty much more depressing and somewhat repetitive - even for this show. While there was some hilarious jokes and compelling realistic drama (this show's hallmarks), there were some jokes and moments I didn't like.

- Bill still walking into vile people doing vile things: this season, we have the cray cat lady very hairy cunt and a half-naked hobo pissing in a payphone booth. Every time this happens makes me scream inside and out. That same music that pops up every times this happens makes my teeth hurt too.

- Bill still an unwilling victim of Murphy's Law.

- Anthony's little "YOU KNOW WHAT?" act (after a while).

- Vic is a drug addict.

No really, that's it. I thought we'd get more of a serious side of Vic after losing his radio manger job and kicking out his bust-it-wide-open whore of a girlfriend who had sex with Kevin. We'd see him fall in a more vulnerable state as he drops the habit and get his life back on track and get a job just as great and well-paid. And I honestly thought it was funny at first, but... All we get from Vic throughout is "Yeah, I love drugs! I still feel good! I can stop any time I want!" He never does. Wasted. Just (like him) Wasted.

- Goomer is still creepy as fuck

Frank's friend & nextdoor neighbor - and grade A snoop, Goomer took his nosiness and oddities to the next level here when, at one point, he pretends to be Frank. By wearing the outfit, he draws in the receding hairstyle and wore the glasses. And the background music at the start at the moment really set in motion this disgusting blight. It got funny as it goes on, and got even funnier when his wife Evelyn catches him with his pants down (not literally, but after his (Frank's) pants were down on the can), when he openly lies to her about the situation saying Frank is stealing from him.

- Ginny. That is all.

She continues to be everything we hate about her since her debut, but now is even worse. After divorcing Greg, she hops from poor guy to pitied guy she can get her slimy hands on, and her very presence raises the hairs on every appendage of the other characters. The only good thing about her is that she finally let Greg go from her whiny, abusive clutches and . But she gets worse when she jumps straight to Otto and basically rapes him. Even he hates her. And when Otto isn't on good terms with someone, you know they're fucked. King size.

- Bridget. She makes Megan Parker look like Mabel Pines (selfish tendencies aside).

- Frank being more of an inattentive taint. 

Moments include:

- Ignoring Kevin when he wanted to conquer his fear of the motel pool he nearly drowned in.

- Not listening to Sue about who Chet really is (until it's too late).

- Avoiding Bill while the latter suffers through his latest form of punishment by the universe in the form of Bridget.

- The fight with Sue while she was heavily pregnant.

I just hope season four tones down the borderline morose undertones of this season, and presents the continuing story and plot-lines in a less darker way. I appreciate the (slightly off in spots) realism and linear development along with the proudly absurd jokes about a bygone era in American history that some many people reminisce while cheerfully glossing over the brutal shit back then that's really not much removed from what's happening today (just read the comments under random TV commercial videos on YouTube for just that). If not, I hope season five will be the last. That's how much I feel about season three (tone-wise at least).

And now, some moments I had more than a feeling about:

- Bill finally calling out his old man and old woman for all the abuse and neglect they threw upon him throughout. While in a life-or-death situation in the city river - with only a stuck shopping cart keeping him afloat. Seeing him finally grow a spine and speak his mind raw and genuine to anyone - after all the crap - is a very strong moment of catharsis. (Also, Maureen is good in my book for saving him.)

- Frank showing more glimpses of genuine emotion in some spots.

- Kevin facing his fear of swimming pool. In season 1, it's revealed that Kevin nearly drowned in a motel pool. This would more than probably explains his problems in school, which no doubt sent him to summer school. (Un)surprisingly, he nearly drowned again, but seeing him mature a bit and face his fears for closure is a very mature development and .

- Sue's determination to create her own kitchen appliance (even if if fails for her and Vivian pulls out of the partnership later on after a meeting).

-Rosie runny for local office as city alderman. It's great to see Rosie have more airtime and especially his own storyline, as he's one of my favorite characters. Sucks he lost but his 

Bridget. While I didn't like the character as yet another example of Bill's poor showing in life, her story was... an interesting one (in a good way). Watching her be young, 70s example of a Meghan Trainor song was unsettlingly entertaining and delivered in its purpose in making us feel much more sorry for Bill. and most of her funny lines were admittedly very funny. I raged when she didn't get her comeuppance for her actions, I hope she will next season.

Debi Derryberry get a lot of mileage for her several roles on the show, but this role as Bridget (coupled with the writing) has to be her scariest of all that I've watched in my lifetime. And for that, I'll give her major props.

- The story of Chet and Nguyen-Nguyen.

Stevenson is a vet fighter pilot whom went to Vietnam, and Nguyen-Nguyen is his wife from the country. They're happy; Chet's an awesome, upstanding guy and Nguyen-Nguyen's a sweet, shy, wise, lovely lady. Nguyen-Nguyen a sweet and introspective confidant to Sue, and Chet was seen as a great friend to Frank (but other characters (like Sue) saw a monster in him; it's only too late where Frank discover's Chet's true colors when he goes off the deep end). But under the surface is a very unhappy (and then, very scary) union. Chet is revealed to be a petty, unhinged, volatile, abhorrent "person" who really snapped in Nam - and snapped again later, and Nguyen-Nguyen his prisoner who lost her family and village during the war - by Chet. From that end, Nguyen-Nguyen suffers mightily from her "husband's" abuse and towards the end (notified by her improving English) finally snaps and returns the favor by poisoning Chet, leaving him to possibly Chet-- uhh, die in the hospital. Nguyen-Nguyen is taken to jail, where we leave her 

-- This storyline is incredible.

At first we meet a new interracial couple who seem happy, loving and all smiles; but as it progressed, it gets more and more upsetting, heartwrenching and nightmarish. As said earlier, Chet is a Vietnam pilot who went insane en route back to the States, and took out much of his (physical and emotional) rage on his immigrant/prisoner wife. And at first, Nguyen-Nguyen is a shy, quiet, sweet woman who learns English from watching our then-new TV shows. But later on, we learn she's not to be fucked with, and Chet learns the hard way.

Vince Vaughn (who is one of the show's EPs btw) give a phenomenal and shockingly genuine performance as Chet (especially during the latter half), which is a huge departure from his other characters with laid-back, devil-may-care slacker attitudes and a hidden heart of gold. Seeing him (or rather, hearing his voice) go from the usual to a raging, unhinged PTSD-suffering maniac under the surface was truly unexpected and the payoff was near-perfection.

Also worth a shining light is Eileen Fogarty as Nguyen-Nguyen. Her performance as Vietnamese woman fitting in in a new country with her homegrown "hero" husband and then suffering brutally under the shadow of the same man who helped kill her family, destroy her village and treat her even worse in her new home is both super hilarious and deeply harrowing -- in the same episode or sometimes even in the same scene. When Nguyen-Nguyen reveals her pain to Sue, it'll tug at the heartstrings and shed a few tears, and even more so during her last appearance when she reveals her revenge on Chet to Sue. You'll just want to give her a hug and all the love and care she truly deserves.

All in all, I thought the season was great, but it'll be a while before I'll give it a rewatch. The tone was way more dark and dreary than I was used to from this show, and left a much more bitter taste in my mouth. That's not to say the laughs weren't there, and there were mile a minute. Hopefully season 4 will IMO bring the series back on track to be an equally hilarious and poignant semi-autobiographical animated series based on a balding comedian who goddamn hates his father. Won't that be neato.

That's my review of F is for Family season three. And this has been Toony Tuesday. See you all next time for... whatever else. I'm Andrew and "may the good toons be yours!"

LA Riots Reborn: Protests and Uprising in America After the Death of George Floyd

In 1992, The United States would live though one of the most infamous in its history, when riots broke through Los Angeles when video of local cops brutally attacked Rodney King was released. When the officers were acquitted in a trial months later, the city's black community was not pleased. After the verdict, riots broke throughout the area - with businesses destroyed, people killed or assaulted, millions in property damage and an image that LA would never recover from for years. King himself spoke out on the carnage, and famously asked "Can we all get along? Can we get along?".

The us vs. them image and mentality of the black community vs. local law enforcement remained and reverberated for the decade and into the new millennium - especially throughout the 2010s, where anger, frustration, tears and calls for justice consistently reached fever point after the deaths of regular African Americans by police officers. -- are many whose lives were unfortunately and unfairly taken. The latest victim of such is George Floyd of Minneapolis, who was killed by police officer Derek Chauvin, while his fellow cops watched. Chauvin would later be arrested and charged with third degree murder and manslaughter.

After the video of the deadly incident went viral, the black and brown communities (and a large portion of the Caucasian community) responded with (mostly peaceful) protests in several major cities across the U.S. I fully support the protests, as it is the best way of waking up the ignorant and showing that black people are also human and are not just thugs and jail bait, and that sometimes, the police are evil monsters using their profession to take down black people who didn't deserve it.

Unfortunately, various law enforcement across the country made things worse by treating the protests as a terrorism uprising and disrupted them with rubber bullets, tear gas, pepper spray, physical attacks and arrests. Seeing police take down and seriously harm people who did nothing wrong and treat them are terrorists makes me furious and tear up a bit. Making it even more so is our brain-dead imbecile of a president; he's tweet-called for the military to step in and kill them (one recent tweet included the infamous, racist and disgusting phrase "Looting leads to shooting") and called for the the U.S. to fall under a "martial law". Plus, he called the governors of of states under protests and uprising "weak". All while hiding in a bunker below the White House (with the outside lights shut off like it's Halloween and everyone is hiding from trick-or-treaters!) What. A. PUSSY.

At one point led DC police to tear gas a group of protesters just so he can take a dumb photo-op in front of church. When November 3 comes around, take your anger to the polls and vote this stupid, psychotic, dictator-wannabe orange fat-ass out of the Presidency.

This would lead to looting in stores of differing sizes. People are stealing from stores in the name of George Floyd. He wouldn't want this.

Listen, folks. If you want to protest police brutality and such, go ahead. I support your fight and perseverance. But if you're gonna loot and steal from other people who built these stores and put their blood, sweat and tears into their hard work, then stop what your doing, go home, look in the mirror and see yourself as the monster that you really are. Because of people like all of you, these stores are now closed and boarded up; other people can't get their food or their prescribed medicine or anything important to survive. Fuck shoes or clothes and the like. You've ruined the good fight for those who really want to fight the good fight and nothing else, and ignorant people will see this as racially-charged guerrilla war. Black people caught looting, some white people caught looting, some white people caught  faking a looting. It's disgusting. Plus, there still is a viral disease out there; there's a chance you'll catch it. Give up the idiocy and don't desecrate the memory of a man who wouldn't do such a thing. He may have been caught with a counterfeit $20 bill; but he also died despite it. Find the right lane and stick with it. Fight for the black community's right to live freely and safely, and don't embarrass us all because you want a new pair of Adidas and a bag of chips at fucking Family Dollar.

His Name is George Floyd: Minneapolis Man Killed by Derek Chauvin, Ex-Cop Charged with Manslaughter / Other Cops Should Be Jailed

Once again, the United States is suffering from a disease. It's not just Coronavirus, but also a disease that corrupts and disrupts police officers in many cities across the country. It keeps on happening when it shouldn't have to, and it makes no sense. 

The latest victim is George Floyd from Minneapolis. He was allegedly caught with a voided check and was issued a warrant on fraud charges when he was stopped on the street by local police. According to the cops that were there, George resisted arrest, causing them to handcuff him and drop him to the ground - with one cop forcing his knee on Floyd's neck. That was an example of Brutality already, but what happened next is even more evil. The cop, Derek Chauvin, kept his knee on Floyd's neck for over 5 minutes, even as George begged to be released as he couldn't breathe and needed air. He never got to grasp for air and George Floyd lost consciousness at the scene, was arrested soon after, and died the following day at the hospital.

This was some bullshit. And it didn't even need fo happen. Cops asserting their authority has been a thing pretty much since the creation of law enforcement-- especially to people of color. You would think that in the age of smartphones, instant internet access and social media that  they would finally stand down and actually do their jobs honorably, right? Fucking. Wrong. Ever since (or even before) Trayvon Martin was heartbreakingly and unfortunately killed by fat evil bitch G***** Z******** (you know who that is; I'm not typing its name), there would be more and more cases of black people (who did nothing wrong) intruded upon, racially profiled and killed by white cops (who had major power trips during these incidents), and they end up walking Scot-free from the major crimes they committed thanks to hiding behind their badges and their superiors, who most likely covered up as much as they could to get them off the hook. These flickers should not be in law enforcement if anyone they face looks less like genuine threats that make them say in defense, "I was fearing for my life", when you have a gun, taser and nightstick in your possession.

In George Floyd's case, just because he was taller and stronger than the cops, that doesn't prove, beyond face value, that he would physically threaten the police. And wouldn't know this if the cops were true in their claim that he resisted arrest. But as proven later on after the video's release, they lied. (Shocker.)

Another video was released a few days later showing that George never resisted arrest and that the officers lost their damn minds for no good reason. Despicable.

Even if George resisted arrest, a cop kneeling on his neck like the guy was meeting fucking Queen Elizabeth until he lost his breath and consciousness was way beyond unnecessary and disturbing. These 4 cops did not do their jobs (and if you argue they did, then they did their jobs horribly, because one of them could've just tasered him, and oh yeah - He didn't resist arrest! THEY LIED ABOUT HIM RESISTING ARREST!!

The 4 corrupt cops deserved to get fired. But they deserve even more to go to prison for life -- one of them committed murder, and the other three aided him while doing nothing to stop. There is police brutality, but this instance took it to the next level, and it makes me sick to my stomach. The cynical asshole in me believes they won't go to jail; they'll walk and probably end up in another police department and possibly even kill again without the proper identification. I want  them to face justice and pay for their crime (and yes, choking someone to death is a crime even by a cop). But knowing that this outcome in court has  happened before, it'll happen again. And that is bullshit.

UPDATE: And now, the killer cop will face justice. Chauvin was recently arrested and charged with manslaughter and 3rd degree murder for the death of George Floyd.

The other cops have not yet been charged, but are under investigation.

No one in the Black community 100% trusts the police wherever they are, and this is just yet another reason why. If you out there want to be a cop, remember... this is not a privilege. Killing people just because you wear a badge is not a perk. Your job is to protect the innocent and arrest the corrupt and guilty. If you have to shoot someone, it should be below the head and chest and only at the last resort. If you still want to  be a cop, and ever end up doing this, you will not be seen as a good person.

These four cops.

Remember them as the shameless, badge-abusing scum of the earth they really and truly are.

And remember him like you remember the other African Americans who did not deserve all this.

His name is George Floyd.

White Bitch Calls 911 on Concerned Birdwatcher about Unleashed Dog (While Abusing It)

Once again, the trend of Idiotic, shameless white people in the U.S. calling local law enforcement against black people minding their business unfortunately continues.

This time, the caucasian creep in question gets what she deserves. 

Christian Cooper is a famous black Birdwatcher walking through NYC's Central Park one day doing what he does best. Our Karen, Amy Cooper (no relation, of course) is a white woman who also went to Central Park around the same time to walk her pet dog. When they crossed paths in one area, Christian asked Cooper to put a leash on her dog (the reason being this certain section of Central Park features birds of many breeds frequenting among the trees, and dogs or other animals will catch and harm them while unleashed). Cooper somehow took Christian's understandable advice as a threat, and decided to call police. But it's what she does during the video that ignited her downfall.

Roll film!

Disgusting.

This bitch talked like she was attacked and beaten when speaking on the phone, while at the same time, held the dog by the leash so hard and so aggressively, she's basically choking the life out of it. The canine moves and squirms all over the place as if it's begging their master to let go; it's abhorrent and disheartening to watch. The fact that this woman cared more about making a scene to get police sic'd on an innocent bystander (a black one at that) who only wanted to help her keep her canine in check (and therefore keep the birds safe), than keep her canine in check and safe -- and, you know, BREATHING, says so much about her than it would at all for the man whom was trying to do something good for someone else and then go about his day. And it says even more about a part of white people in the 2010s (and now 2020) that decide to try to terrorize and ruin the lives of black people just living their lives and not terrorizing the lives of others to begin with (whether they truly are criminals not is irrelevant) . Had they just minded their own business and left the African Americans alone, these stupid showings of "borderline" racism and supremacy would not happen and life in America would much more happy and free. But no, they do just that, and now that their faces and names are out in the other, they now represent a form of humiliation, embarrassment and karma in the age of social media and memes. And Amy Cooper is the latest and best example of this.

After the video went viral, Cooper lost the following: 

- Her dog: the cute pooch was surrendered by Cooper to the rescue she adopted the canine from, . On Twitter, they announced that the dog is back in their care.

- Her job: She was fired from Franklin Templeton, a major investment firm. They announced her termination in a Twitter post.

- Her livelihood: I'm sure anytime she leaves her house soon, she won't be seen the same way.

All thanks to one major overreaction caught on video that she did not need to make and one phone call she didn't need to make.

Cooper later apologized fir her actions.

"I'm not a racist." -Yes, you are. 

"I did not intend to harm this man." -Yes you did, you threatened to call the cops on him, in the hopes of him getting arrested, abused and or killed for the major transgressions of telling you what to do and inconveniencing you. Don't deny it and don't lie about it. It makes you look even worse. We know what you are now,  Amy. And everything we've seen of you in that video is what you truly are: a dimwitted racist who can't handle being in the same environment as a black man,  and want to see them taken down even though doing so will backfire on your dumb ass.

I don't care if what I say next makes some people mad (if it does, fuck you), but she deserves everything. She didn't need to call the cops on a black man -- and one whom wasn't threatening or imposing to her (again, all he asked of her was to leash her dog). She didn't need to act as if she was assaulted by the same man (I don't know him personally, but I presume Christian and most birdwatchers like him are not psychotic people) -- that made things worse. And she especially didn't need to hold her pet by the leash and yank them around - that could've killed or at least suffocated them. She should've gone to jail for animal cruelty. All this gets her what she deserves, and had she not have been like all other whites being pricks to black people based on preconceived stereotypes, she wouldn't be where she rightfully is today -- jobless, hated, infamous and petless.

I hope Christian Cooper is doing fine.  He didn't deserve the crap he went through. Hope he's having fun with all fine-feathered fluttering friends in Central Park.

Moronic Trump Official Compares Idiotic Stay-at-Home Order Protesters to Rosa Parks

Vox

Hello, everyone.

I hope you guys are doing great during the your state's/providence's/country's  shutdown from Coronavirus. It is very changing times on Earth at the moment, and it's definitely something we (most especially extroverts) are not used to. Many of us have lost our jobs; rent and utilities are near impossible, all the important supplies are always gone from the store shelves (seriously, fuck the people who swiped high amounts of toilet paper! [you all don't need that much]), and many large events across the planet have been either postponed or canceled altogether till next year. It all seems like insanity, but as long as we all stay calm, do our best mentally, thank those who still have an important job to do (the healthcare workers, our mail-people, our law enforcement and firefighters, government officials (who isn't the highest of the bunch) and all others unmentioned), keep the faith, have the famous folk actually notice and care, and keep the essentials stockpiled, we're #inthistogether.

I at the moment am okay; my family and myself are doing great at home - taking it one day at a time, but nobody is stir-crazy and it's a great thing.

As for the count of cases and deaths from COVID-19, it's startling and heartwrenching. Fortunately, as I've heard at the moment, all is slowing down a bit, and the curve is flattening. And even though it's real heartbreaking that so many have lost their lives or have had their lives slow down because of Coronavirus, at least things are improving steadily. And that is also good.

What isn't as good though is that some citizens of several states in the U.S. of A. have had enough of COVID and the stay-at-home orders, and have taken to their city halls and state houses to voice their displeasure.

courtesy Channel 7 - WXYZ-TV Detroit

Here's my displeasure: these people are out of their fucking minds if they think their demands of reopening their cities states and walking among the thousands/millions of denizens will make everything better! We are are in the middle of a pandemic, where people have gotten severely sick or even died from a major disease (which at the moment, STILL has no cure)! There's no where to go or who to talk to in person because the major streets are closed (except mostly in Florida, because... Florida)! The stores and beaches are shut down! And it is viral and borderline airborne! What point is there in protesting, when the government officials and leaders will not listen to you?! (Well except Trump, but he only wants your vote, of course. He doesn't care about you.)

And speaking of Trump, his response to Coronavirus was a goddamn disgusting catastrophe. He fired the response task force, he lied about not knowing about the virus (he knew in January and did still nothing), he went around Fox News and the right wing media claiming 15 people had the virus and that everything was under control (that's not how viruses work and him saying "under control" would make a cat have a heart attack), he fought against anyone and everyone who wanted him to send the necessary supplies to treat contracted citizens (governors,  reporters, etc), sent necessary supplies to OTHER COUNTRIES for the money, made his daily press briefings like his rallies, his administration did nothing much to update the nation on the stats, blamed anyone but himself (Obama, Democrats, the media (and its reporters), China, the WHO, the CDC, etc. etc.) and of course he made it about himself.
A bang-up job from our commander in sheeit.

And back to the protesters of these protests, they're making their little stunt all about themselves. This whole thing is about putting themselves before those of everyone else in this country. Their wants, their needs, their desires and their cries of desperation for what they think is normalcy. But we're no longer in normal. This is a new normal. And what they're doing ISN'T normal. No social distancing, some are wearing masks and/or driving in their cars hilariously enough (which negates the whole thing) and many are even taking to blocking entrances to major hospitals so employees and patients cannot enter. All of this is selfish, pathetic, amoral, immature and irresponsible.

Think that's stupid? Well, some claims are even more so.
Some douche wanted more mulch for his grass. And some bitch wanted her roots colored at the hair salon. I'm not kidding - these are real. Here's a clip.

It makes sense that those people doing their protests are mostly Trump supporters, because no one else could think up very stupid reasons to hold up streets and block hospitals so that healthcare workers and COVID-stricken patients won't get in, but for those I've just said.

These people are certainly what's wrong with America and their incompetence in understanding the situation of Coronavirus has put themselves and others (especially others trying their best to keep their families healthy and safe while doing their jobs) not only in danger but also in the spotlight as the lowest of the low.

Just like this man: Stephen Moore, a Trump administration official on 45's council tasked with reopening the country. While helping plan a protest of Wisconsin's state-at-home order, said this verbal abomination in support of the protesters.

"This is a great time for civil disobedience. We need to be the Rosa Parks here and protest against these government injustices."

That's right. This rich, high-ranking, high-and-mighty out-of-touch asshole moron compared the stay-at-home-order protesters to Rosa Parks. In other words, a Trump official one nut short of a Payday bar connected a group of idiots wanting the home states back open to serve their own trivial minutiae needs to a Civil Rights icon who risked her life to fight for blacks to sit anywhere they please on a public transportation. This is where our government is right now -- nonsensical racial and classism discord.

If you can find the dots to connect between these two totally unrelated and incompatible topics, congrats. You are just as dumb and out-of-touch as Moore.

Also dumb and out of touch are the GOPers in state government deciding this week to reopen beaches (already an unsanitary place to have fun for some people) to the public. And many have actually went. People, we are in the middle of spring! Why are you going to the beach when it's not the right season. Y'all just went there because your governors said so. And that is very dumb. Think for yourselves and find your own fun at home.

If what's next offends you, I don't give a sweet shit. Those protesters and beach-goers are going to catch Coronavirus, and that is karma. I'm not saying they deserve it (and neither does anybody), but if you aren't going to use common sense and actively ignore social distancing guidelines during this pandemic, you get what you get and I won't feel an iota of sympathy for you people. I only feel sorry for members of your families that share genetics with you. If they catch it too, and learn it's from you, I hope they disown your asses.

Protesting a state order is one thing, but doing so while blockading
hospitals from healthcare workers is one thing way too far.

And this healthcare worker says as much here.

(I feel I should worship the ground this hero walks on.)

Now look, I don't blame the protesters for wanting to protest against these state orders. They want to go back to work, go back shopping, have outdoor fun and live their lives again. I - as introverted as I am - also want to do these things again. We all want to. I realize this pandemic is certainly different than other viral outbreaks and really is something we're all not used to. But right now, it's not the time to do such things. This is serious, and it's not something to laugh at. Thousands of people have died and many thousands more are very sick, from a disease that is very easy to catch and suffer from. As I say they have every right to fight against their states' orders, the protesters' hearts certainly weren't in the right place, and their actions & words on TV proved it.

Fuck you protesters, fuck you Stephen Moore, fuck you Trump, fuck you Trump administration (except Dr. Anthony Fauci), fuck the GOP governors and fuck you Florida state government. All of you can suck seriously sweet taint.
This country should not have to be so divided on such a dangerous issue like Coronavirus, but we have dangerous president in the White House at this moment so here we are.

Everyone else, stay safe, listen to your state officials, keep the kitchen full and  stay healthy, because - again - we're all in this together.

Disney/Pixar's "Onward" The First Animated Film to Feature an LGBTQ Supporting Character: Here's Why I Care and DON'T Care

Greetings, adventurers!

Are you ready for a quest of epic, awesome, majestic and emotional proportions? If you're saying 'yes', then you're ready for...

the first LGBTQ+ character in an animated film.

That's what is happening in the upcoming installment from the "companies with the biggest, most obvious stronghold of the Academy Awards ever" franchise -- also known as Walt Disney Pictures and Pixar Animation Studios: Onward.

For those of you unaware (and I'm hoping there aren't many), Onward centers on two teenage elf brothers, Ian and Barley Lightfoot (voiced respectively by Tom Holland and Chris Pratt), who learn by their mother Laurel (Julia Louis Dreyfus) on the former's 16th birthday, that their late accountant father (he passed away when both boys were very young) was actually a wizard and left them with a magical staff and collection of spells in the hopes of continuing his legacy in a world with magic and wizardry are dwindling in saddening fashion. After this everything-changing reveal, the bros then find a spell that can bring their dad back from the great beyond for 24 hours, and it works... until they reanimated only his legs, waist and feet. This leads them on a journey to find a continuing spell to bring back the rest of their now-bottom-half dad and, along the way, find themselves closer in a very emotional and heartwarming way that only Pixar can make it.

But right now, that's not what's everyone is focusing on.

What's getting word of mouth is that last week, it was announced that one character in the film, a cyclops named Officer Specter would be portrayed as "a self-identified lesbian" (voiced by entertainment quadruple-threat Lena Waithe - whom is also a lesbian) in the movie. She appears in one scene with two other cops - Officer Gore and Colt Bronco (portrayed by Ali Wong and Mel Rodriguez respectively) - doing a traffic check where the Brothers Lightfoot are passing through.

Here's the peek into Officer Spector's life of scissoring and cross-tounging:
“My girlfriend’s daughter got me pulling my hair out"

For context, here's part of the article from TODAY.com.
"Officer Specter comes in towards the middle of the brothers’ quest while they head to the magical mountains. In one scene, the character and her cop partner Officer Gore pull over a driver who claims he was distracted because his girlfriend's sons have been acting up.
“My girlfriend’s daughter got me pulling my hair out,"
Officer Specter relates during the scene."

And that's it. That's all we hear about it. Nothing overt, nothing brash, nothing in your face, nothing worth waving the rainbow flag. She's just a cop raising a kid from a previous relationship with her girlfriend. It's just so overwhelmingly underwhelming, that even I felt dulled out by it, asking "that's it?". So basically, Disney and Pixar are taking the subtle route and making the personal life of Officer Specter sound normal and mundane as if it's not a big deal.
As they should.

As revealed by producer Kori Rae to Yahoo, "it just kind of happened" and added “The scene, when we wrote it, was kind of fitting and it opens up the world a little bit, and that’s what we wanted.”
Director Dan Scanlon said in another interview,
“It’s a modern fantasy world and we want to represent the modern world.”

From the moment the movie was announced, I was super excited. It's a fun, exciting story with no-doubt fun, relatable characters (voiced by no-doubt very talented actors) and some moments that make me laugh, cry, feel and enjoy. Plus, it officially debuts on my birthday - March 6. And as we reach closer to the release date, the trailers and behind-the-scenes videos got me even more amped. Nothing could stop me from seeing it. Not even the fact that an LGBTQ character will be in it.

Okay, don't get me wrong and make no mistake. I'm very happy for a non-straight character in an animated film (whether made for the family or otherwise). And if you expected me to get triggered and trash Disney and Pixar for this accusing them of "supporting the SJWs" and "brainwashing the kids", you're in for a rude awakening.

Here's why I care about this: 

I don't have any problems with non-straight characters in movies and TV shows all my life. There are gay characters I've seen featured in several different characteristics -- some (read: few) written well, others (read: many) stereotypically unwell, and several in between. Most of them are vibrant and flaming. And rarely, in the previous century, has any characters of the like been treated normally and respectfully and not as a joke. The problem with that is we've been so used to seeing gay people like that in media for years that it's hard to see the LGBT community as anything but overdramatic, flamboyant, sexually active, disease-carrying, comically dressed weirdos. Which is why it's great to find TV shows and movies these days that depict less... those. But some people just don't want to get educated about why gay people aren't what they think. They're so close-minded it's more scary than funny, and that's a shame.

Here's why I don't care about this:

As happy as I am about Officer Specter being lesbian as any open-minded, progressive-thinking person would, I don't care if someone's LGBTQ because in real life - unless I'm dating them; that doesn't matter to me. If I want to make friends with someone or talk personal with them - and they reveal to me that they're lesbian, gay, bi, trans, queer or etc., I'd say "That's cool. I'm very happy for you"... and nothing more. It's not that I'm being dismissive. It just does not affect me personally, and I wouldn't care more or less than I'm supposed to. I really don't mean this in a disrespectful, insulting or demeaning manner; I just won't throw a party for you if you came out to me. I'll give you a hug and a nice pep talk, and that's it. If you say you don't care, at least explain why you don't care. Or else... you do care.

This news does not affect me like it does some other people make it affect them, who at this point just love to make a mountain out of a molehill over every little change in society that they think will negatively affect them. Seriously, just yesterday, I saw a video on YouTube by a popular superhero media news website reacting like the genre of animated movies has been forever besmirched and tarnished, because a side character in one of them just so happens to have a girlfriend. The host elaborated that Disney has their balls squeezed by social justice warriors to make this happen, and that children will think they will be gay later on life too - and some comments mirror this. For God's sake, it's not like Ian will end up in an orgy with mermaids and gnomes, or Barley winds up in a coke-fueled cult worshiping a golden idol likeness of Slash. The overreactions and overreaching were so gross, that I stopped the video about halfway and didn't bother commenting, as those whose opinions I agreed with got destroyed by the commentators who think Disney is forever ruined by a gay background character we'll forget about in one movie after seeing it anyway. Y'all know Disney and Pixar films have featured some dark and depressing morals, topics and scenes in their movies through their histories and no one got pissed over them (mostly because the staff never announced them beforehand). If African Americans, Hispanics, Asians, women and straights can be positively portrayed in movies, non-straights can too.
It just took way too long to do that for all involved.

One gay character is not going to hurt, it's not going to brainwash children (and if you think that's the case, you need to check their social media and streaming service accounts for all that) and it won't tarnish animated movies forever. If no one has a problem with straight people shown kissing, then no one should be grossed out by people of the same sex kissing. Kissing is kissing. And if children are repulsed by a boy and girl kissing, then that's one thing. They're children. You grown ass people are not. Grow up.

If you think that children are brainwashed by Disney and Pixar movies, then realize that they can believe that they could be replicating the toxic masculinity of Gaston (Beauty and the Beast) and Clayton (Tarzan); act like a far off world exists for them to stay a kid (Peter Pan); that toys live, breathe and move when you're not around (Toy Story franchise); superheroes live among us (Incredibles); talking rats can cook at night (Ratatouille); it's possible a meteor didn't wipe out the dinosaurs (The Lost Dinosaur); tiny colorful creatures control our emotions (Inside Out); the characters of video games have personal lives (Wreck-It-Ralph movies); the dead can celebrate Dia de Los Muertos like the living (Coco); it's totally cool to act and live an evil, egomaniacal, extremely-judgmental priest (The Hunchback of Notre Dame); monsters can magically access and scare our sleeping children through their closets (Monsters Inc.); boys can smoke cigars and drink beer before turning into donkeys [plus puppets can become real boys via fairy godmothers] (Pinocchio); elephants can fly (Dumbo); and Simba and Nala can be siblings [and the stars say "SEX"] (The Lion King). Long story short, if you think that children are so stupid to believe anything in a cartoon show or film to do such things or act like such characters, congrats. You assholes are just as dumb as you think they are - if not more.

Making a big deal about it will not make it go away; it just makes it bigger. If you say you aren't going to see the film because if one character whom is gay, too bad. It looks like a great, fun, exciting movie on par with Pixar. And you're just going to ruin it for everyone else with your mindless whining. But remember: It's not about you and it won't ruin you. It helps to be aware about it, but if you don't care, cool. Just don't make it an even bigger deal out of it than the people who make it happen. If they want to scream from the rooftops that the societal norms of the 2010s are cruelly shunning them away, they might as well should. I'll just stand aside and let them fight instead of roadblocking them from just living their lives in silence. 

So in conclusion: I'm happy that Disney and Pixar are featuring representation of the LGBT community in one of their movies. It's long overdue and shows they're finally more open to people who aren't white or straight. It's not a major reason I want to to see it (again, everything else at the top is) because I don't fully care, and I'll still support it even if the character isn't a lesbian. And since she will appear in one or two scenes and she mentions a girlfriend briefly, there's really nothing to worry about. To those crying and piddling their pants about this, stop it. You don't know what you know more than what you've seen before that leads up to nothing big and brash. You are not a gatekeeper to the best and pure of animated film. Nothing is changing for the worst. That came when most films of the past decade plus are exclusively CGI and all of The Emoji Movie. Shut the hell up and enjoy the film for what it could be. I'm not saying you shouldn't speak on this; everyone has a right to speak their opinion, no matter what. But if this is what you need to say on a movie made mostly for kids, you shouldn't. Everyone else who wants to see it wants to see it for every other reason before this one; don't be mad at them for wanting to see another Pixar piece that'll do doubt get nominated for an Oscar - or even win (mark my words on either) and be another expected grand slam that'll be a hot moneymaker for LuxoCo and FrozenHead Studios.

Me, I'm going to cosplay as Ian when Onward comes on March 6 and enjoy it.
You? Whatever you want.
i DoN't CaRe!!!1!!11!!1

THE//EDDIE/MURPHY\SHOW=REVIEW (aka SATURDAY/NIGHT\LIVE_FORTYFIVE=REVIEW: ten -- EDDIE MURPHY (and lizzo) [Chrismas]

Finally...

The man that saved a sketch comedy powerhouse... has come back home.

The man that for four years in the 80s helped (if not single handedly took) a hugely successful and popular television series from its dying breaths and gave it new life through his wild, crass, racially-charged and eye-opening yet real, raw, refreshing and damn hilarious brand of comedy has finally returned to that series as host for the first time in 35 years -- and that was the second time (his first was while he was still a cast member). And between that timeframe, he's made movies. And comedy specials. And -- popular, successful, quotable, classic movies and comedy specials.

Laughter is his game.

Eddie Murphy is his name.

On the other side of the bill is a musician who has really made a big jump to the mainstream this year. While she has been in the game for several years, she's been making hit after hit, bop after bop, jam after jam and Jawn after jawn in 2019. Juice, Truth Hurts, Good as Hell, Jerome and  And she's just getting started. Oh and she's fluent with the flute.

Her name is Lizzo.

Honestly, I can't freaking wait.

I've seen Murphy's sketches today alone and he was definitely the shit during his time inside Studio 8H. His jokes were hilarious, his timing was impeccable, his characters (Mr. Robinson, Gumby and Buckwheat, etc.) was iconic and he was an inspiration to many. You really wouldn't believe he was only 19 when he started. Now he's back where he started from, with everyone grateful to be where they are because of him. And I'm grateful to be alive for it all.

See you soon for the 45th Christmas episode and the last episode of both 2019 and the 2010s. Can't get any bigger than this.

--

And here we go!
Obviously we start with a political cold open, this time based on the sixth democratic national debate. Everyone we know/love is back - Rachel Dratch as Amy Klobochar, Larry David as Bernie Sanders, Jason Seudeikis as Joe Biden, Fred Armiden as Michael Bloomberg and Maya Rudolph as dropout Kamala Harris (bringing her Beyonce sized sexy song humor with her). I didn't see the debate, and I didn't have to - as I know where my support lies. But this sketch tells me how looney this how thing has been. The current, former and guest cast give their A-game. Heidi Gardner does a fine job as PBS Newshour anchor Judy Woodruff, and Alec Baldwin still has good pay as IMPEACHED President Donald Trump. I can't wait for 2020 for the sketches to fly and the disses to sting.

--

Returning to a standing ovation and CHANTS, Eddie Murphy returned to the house he rebuilt to remind us how awesome he was, still is and always will be - his movies, his wonderful kids and his Bill Cosby impression. Tracy Morgan, Chris Rock and Dave Chappelle cameo to Also prove how awesome they are and make for an entertaining, hilarious and inspiring monologue. Some white dude also appeared -- "Joe Piscopo" -- but thank God for Kenan to break up the monotony.

--

As I live and breathe, it's Mister Robinson! One of Murphy's legendary sketches has risen from the ashes and has not been unmissed. Murphy has not missed a beat as the skit has been reinvigorated for the modern day. His place is now gentrified, he's old and fat and is now rocking a slick stache, but he's still got it -- thieving, squatting and being an affable asshole to everyone he meets. And teaches it all to his young impressionable viewers - who should watch South Central instead.
Also he has a son. I wonder if it's that boy he sold on the black market.

Show returns live on January 25 with Adam Driver and Halsey.
--
No, not Netflix's Nailed It. It's a Food Network show where people bake cakes and they end up dumpster fires that make me question what even do at 12:51 (am, PM, does not matter).
I loved this one because the cakes are nightmares, but the surprises are genuine. Speaking of nightmares, please pray for me after the ugly fire-raised demon lives in mine with me holding a cross and rosary beads to make it through the next few hours.
--
This next pre-tape takes place at a family's Christmas dinner party, where everyone enjoys the love of family and togetherness, even when everything leading up to it was an episode of a BET drama. It was brilliant, realistic to a sense and a classic to be sure. Just wait till next year's clipshow.
--
BUCKWHEAT!
Fuck the pointless  Masked Singer starting the sketch. Buckwheat is back. It's good to see him back. And nice on the judges (surprisingly well-casted) for going meta to welcome him back after three decades... and being shot.
--
She's 100% you know... it's Lizzo.
She performed her #1 hit (and my fave of said boppy jams)  "Truth Hurts". While more nuanced than her last performances of the track (see the BET Awards, VMAs and others for those - oddly they involve cakes), it was still energetic and fun. Lizzo looks 1000% less stripperific than at that Lakers game, she still looked sexy and smooth. She never performed the whole song live before, but I'm glad she did.
--
Colin Jost and Michael Che make their last appearance on Weekend Update, discussing the impeachment-- GUMBY!! He straight up took the show and NBC to task for not putting respect on his name for making Eddie Murphy a star and saving the show. I live for this and laugh for this. Even when they crack up.
-
Pete Davidson peeked out of his pothole to discuss the impeachment before launching a diatribe about how his being thr youngest cast member since Murphy led to jokes of being not handsome. Like a haze, I couldn't remember this.
-
Jost & Che launch into their tradition of reading the other's jokes. And as usual, Colin gets a race joke (Buttegieg"s running mate is the Popeyes Chicken sandwich) and Michael's is cringe (Epstein Unbecoming). My tradition is that it is always funny.
-
Cecily Strong's Jeanine Pirro is back to react to some political crap, but her punchline is up chucking wine all over Jost. It's as disgusting as it was hilarious.
-
This edition was super funny from start to finish. Merry Christmas, Colin and Michael and all of the writers.
--
It seems like they needed a time to squeeze in Murphy's characters when they didn't need to. It feels awkward.
--
Black Jeopardy! Is Back Jeopardy!
And look who's here - Velvet Jones!

The greasy ho-loving woman-teaching book salesman returned during an episode of the game show-within-a-show, and even though he's older, he isn't wiser enough  to stop saying ho or using the show to his his similarly-titled correspondence  books. I always love this sketch, and seeing yet another Murphy character makes me smile wide. His last answer is inspiring though.
--
Lizzo returned for the last performance of the year/decade with a Christmassy version of "Good as Hell" in a super-sexy Winter Wonderland. It was quite a surprise to see, but with dancers dressed like sultry candy canes and Cirque de Soleil-ing on poles, it's every sleazy pizza-faced 16-year-old's dream. Hot and fresh on the coldest, stalest holiday, Lizzo knocked it out the park.
--
And finally, a bear has terrorized and cannibalized a section of Santa's workshop. An elf has freaked out and it's all on the news.

Meh. Murphy saved it from being boring and forgettable. His lines were hammy and hilarious and all the same sleazy but make this sketch a visual pleasure but a conceptual waste.
--
Well, that is it. The last episode of SNL in 2019 hosted by Eddie Murphy. It was a great episode that featured expected-but-still-exciting appearances of Murphy's great characters from his tenure, and a few new and recurring sketches that took at least one big laugh out of me. The cast took the year out on a bang, and continued to gel with the impressive writing perfection. The hosts, musical guests and guest stars are brilliantly chosen and all give their A-game to consistently awesome returns and the creative of Lorne and the staff have no bounds yet (there are small ones but they come and go). This season so far is a winner to me, and I can't wait for more in the new year and decade. And I hope you'll join me then. Happy Holidays, everyone.I'm Andrew Duvall Pollard, saying "Goodnight and...*gurgling demonic tonguespeak*...-- I mean, "I'M GUMBY, DAMMIT!?".

Refresh for more review - this is live tonight.