SLMR: Dark Horse & Say Something

Welcome to Short/Long Music Review, where I find songs (I either love or hate) to review them in a short review that took a long time to review.

Hi everyone. It's that time again, and this time, in the month of LOOOOVEE (and black history), I've decidedly chose four songs based on the different points of love and relationships from making up to breaking up, and then F**king up with someone else. And also because I researched on Billboard's website.
These songs will be split and released on two consecutive nights. Tonight, it's "Make Up and Break Up". One of these songs are about the pain and hate of being in a horrible, nasty, evil and ever so scary relationship...and the other is Say Something.

Here are "Dark Horse" by Katy Perry featuring Juicy J
and "Say Something" by A Great Big World feat. Christina Agulera.

Let's start with "Dark Horse".

Now you know Katy Perry has been the ultimate guilty pleasure of the decade and the previous decade. With hits such as "I Kissed a Girl", "Hot n' Cold", "California Gurls", "Teenage Dream", and now "Roar", which is, as you remember, I called the of the anti-female empowerment songs, although I was wrong, because it is, and I didn't listen to the lyrics fully. It's that catchy.

Anywho, she now releases what I guess can finally be the end of my streak of guil--I mean, Katy Perry songs that I like. Well that happened with "Unconditionally" because she pronounces it "Uhn-con-diz-SHUUUUUNNN-AAALLL-ly". That makes my brain crash every time I hear it.

We start with Katy meeting a man (well, she says he met her, as she knew he "comes" to her. What?) and tells him she's happy to be with him, but warns him, that if he stays with her for the long haul, he will live a burning hell in the form of a relationship with her. Unfortunately, we saw this happen before and how it turned out.
Then we reach the chorus. In the first half, she says that if "you wanna play with magic, Boy, you betta know what'cha fightin' for", meaning that if you want her, you're gonna get used to power of her scorn. That's right, she'll start of like Mabel Pines, and go straight to Myra Monkhouse. Quite a catch, I say, huh?
Then in the second half, in which she sings like she's frickin' Jacob Two-Two, she exclaims that I'm warning you ("Are you ready for/ A perfect storm?"), if you date me ("Cause once you're mine"), you will never leave (There's no goin' back").

Let that be a warning, guys. If you meet a woman that matches the one as sung in the lyrics, turn around, run, and never. look. back.

At least I do like the featured artist's verse. And it comes from...(sigh) Juicy J.
Usually I hate Juicy J for being the king of songs about strips clubs and strippers and such. If you don't know, Juicy J is a former member of Three 6 Mafia. For blacks, they're known for their creepy, gross mysogynistic tracks, and for whites, they won an Academy Award in 2006 for their song "It's Hard Out Here for a Pimp". Remember? Let's go to his verse.

"She's a beast/ I call her Karma"
--Well, that could make sense, because, after giving hell to guys, she might get her's later.
"She'll eat your out//Like Jeffery Dahmer."
--What? Wait? She eats hearts, too? Gross!! (Okay, that's just a creepy simile, because Jeffery Dahmer is a serial killer, and he's deserves hell for what his crimes were. Hold on, didn't Jeffery Dahmer eat more than hearts?)

"Be careful/ Try not to lead her on"
Why not? What if she needs directions?

"Shawty heart is on steroids/Cause her love is so strong"
--Oh. She's crazy. Like "Rose" crazy. Got it! (Oh, and unless you die after it, there's no way someone's love can be strong after steroids, so don't try it, people. Yes, that doesn't really happen, I'm just playing ditzy here.)
Then Juicy here starts rambling about keeping the girl, saying keep her, but don't test her (keep her) or mess with her (okay, leave her).

"Something-Something-Armor-Something-Fairy tale//She can be my Sleeping Beauty/Ima put 'er in a coma"
--You can't put a Sleeping Beauty in a coma, you idiot. You wake her up with a kiss. Unless you have sex with her, then; she'll be Sleeping Beauty, all right.
I won't put the rest here, because it's about sex and being "so bad" and fairs, because it's Juicy J, so I'm not wasting my time with that. And that's the so--

Oh yeah!! My review. This song is so corny. It really is. The beat is dizzingly bad, the vocals are annoying, and Juicy J's in it (although it's better than anything he put out.) And the music video is really stupid. I may have thought too much of Katy's performance at the Grammys, but--mixing Egyptian with Ghetto? No. And did I notice ancestors of Skeeter Valentine? Anyway, it's so repulsive, some Muslum communities want it banned because one of the suitors with a necklace representing Allah, Arabic for God, is reduced to dust, necklace and all.

Yeah.
Katy, I'll come back to you, if you make a really catchy song that is good. Oh by the way, it's really boring.


And now, "Say Something".

This Great Big World song is about a relationship that just didn't go right and the couple discuss what went wrong before parting ways. The moody setting really works here, and the lyrics really capture mood of the content. And the video just captures the lyrics too. Each and every verse is brought to life by people (or water as shown there too) doing exactly what the lyrics are. Genius! (Although any time I listen to a song, I always think up a video that matches the song.) I must do that a lot.

Anyhow, these guys shine here. They put a lot of passion and brilliance into this. It just makes you cry the second Four-Eyes with the Jewfro says "giving". Christina Agulera shines just as much. (and not use her "I'm gonna vocalize like a banshee" voice). This song really tells "We're breaking up" in a beautifully nice package. Never before have I heard a song just like this. I probably never will either.

And there they are: two songs I didn't have to review but I did, because-well-I really want to. Dark Horse is a really questionable song with annoying vocals and strange mix of pop and trap; while Say Something is a beautiful encapulation of piano and strings that mesh well with AGBW and Xtina's vocals. Dark Horse pretty much going to be in my brain for a long time, whether I like it or not; much more than Say Something, which should be in my brain nonetheless. And tomorrow I really will be back 2 more songs to review about LOOOOVEEE.
(I hope you like it; even though, it's probably bad)
See you then!