So today, I review two songs that cover these two categories. I know there are many songs in pop that cover Drinking and R&B/Rap that cover Sex, along with many that cover both. But I chose these two because they switch them around. The R&B hit covers being wasted, not on Merlot, Nuvo, Kahlua, or even Alize, But on love. And the Pop hit is basically about boinkin' girls from different countries. Also, as a bonus, I'm also reviewing a special song about how painful a breakup can be, and how friendship can keep a couple from killing other or calling finders-keepers on stuff.
Here they are: "Drunk in Love" by Beyonce featuring Jay-Z, "Talk Dirty' by Jason Derulo, and "Hurt You" by Toni Braxton and Babyface.
Let's start with Drunk in Love.
"SERFBUARD!"
"WATERMELON!"
"You got me feddy..."
"Eat the cake, Anna Mae!"
All these stupid phrases and more can be yours to meme when you listen to Beyonce's new single "Drunk in Love".
In all fairness, I don't really hate this song. It's actually really good. In fact it's much better when it's heard slow.
The song starts with some child or human or creature(?) howling the first part of the track. Then Bey says the reason the song exists: She was drinking a new brand of alcohol, one that doesn't give you hangovers in the head, but in the vag. Also she talks about her fame and the flashing lights of cameras when she walks by. And she's drunk on that too.
She then says "We walked up in the kitchen saying "How the hell did this shit happen?"
What does that mean: You suddenly got drunk?
Jay knocking you up again?
You saying "Shit for the fifth time in your life?
You still being a music superstar?
Yeah.
And the last thing she remembered is her body humping all over Jay-Z's. Pretty much the last memory of every other girl after last call.
And now to the second verse in which things get more trappy ('Cause it's a trap song.)
She basically becomes a female Juicy J talking about lights, and rubbing against something, and something about calling a reverend. I'm guessing if the sex turns into some Excorcist shit, you should call one for holy water. Also something about sheets turned into washrags? She's so drunk that either she'll just spout anything to fit the rhyme scheme or just suffered a romance-induced seizure. And the "SERFBUARD!" thing, doesn't make sense, but is hilarious.
The only negative here is that "Boy I'm Drinkin'" keeps repeating throughout the verse. We get it, Bey, you're drunk. It's not like you drank Love-ohol for the first time. Oh wait, she has.
I really don't like Jay-Z's verse for one reason.
"I'm Ike.../Turner--Turner/Baby, naw, I don't play" Make that two.
"Now eat the cake, Anna Mae/ Said Eat the cake, Anna Mae/ I'm nice!" Dude must be a fan of "What's Love Got to Do With It".
He referred himself as Ike Turner, Tina Turner's ex. Who he beat repeatedly during her iconic career. Yeah. I'd be careful, Beyonce.
Oh, and, not the best Turner you'd want to be associating yourself with, Shawn. I'd rather be Timmy.
And the "Your breasteses(?) and my breakfastses(??) line? He must be drunk too. Still won't explain the "I'm Ike" thing.
Straight after, Bey says some things like "She's tired", "V-05", "Watermelon". We've reached the "Shitfaced" portion of the song, folks. Bey gets more and more nonsensical as it continues. It works though.
I guess I see why this song is so weird. As the song progresses, Beyonce gets more wasted; because that's the point. Beyonce is wasted off of her love to Jay-Z. And as the song progresses, she's more wasted because of her love to him. If she gets any more in love with Jay, she might just die of alco-hunk poisoning. I do like this song, and hope this doesn't teach people it can happen in real life. Because they've already been drunk on something else. It's called NoCommonSense.
We'll keep it moving with "Talk Dirty".
"I'm that flight that you get on--International"
If any ethnic chick freak him, he'll take her there. And when I mean there, I mean Cumland. Get it?
"First class seat on my lap, guurl--Sittin' comfortable"
His lap is a seat. Although his body is first class, his common sense to me is coach, since his songs have gone to sex. And that's coming from a guy who still likes "What'cha Say", so it's lose-lose here.
"Cause I know what the girl them need/New York to Haiti"
Okay that one doesn't make any damn sense. What does New York have to do What do they need? Oh yeah. Gross!! And that accent. This is why singing like Rihanna makes you look like an damn fool.
This song is the pop equivalent to Young Money's "Every Girl in the World". They're both about bedding girls, countries they all want to grab girls from to bed with, and they both suck.
And 2 Chainz is also on this track.
This is why I can't listen to radio anymore (and that I go Indie now, but mostly the first). All these songs are about sex, drugs, liquor, and sometimes a combo of three. And it doesn't stop at rap and hip-hop, it's gone to pop, R&B and country, too. I know this is utilized to sell music, but seriously. But, fuck me, it's my fault for going back to it. It just makes me ashamed of the oldest medium in history. I wish there is a station that gives me just the songs I love, like, and sometimes like--oh wait, it's called Pandora. Ironically, the first time I heard this wan't on any American medium show--radio, TV, ect. I heard it on Big Brother UK Bit on the Side, where Jason was a guest. (It's on YT; funny, show, you should check it out.)
You know, it's so bad, I, at first, wasn't even gonna put the video here. It's him with a bunch a ethnic girls touching his chest and 2 Chainz doing his shitty type of rapping. But I did this to all songs I review.
So I can't leave this out.
A finally a bonus song: "Hurt You" by Toni Braxton and Babyface.
Both lend their amazing voices to this track, about the problems in a relationship, the pain of loving someone, when you they might not love you, and the impact of infedelity. It's like Cheaters but without the name-calling, roughhousing, and pulling of the fake hair. You know, CLASS.
This is the first single by both artists in over a decade, and both really show how real R&B is. You should check out this song.
And there they are: Three songs I didn't have to review but I did, because-well-I really want to. Drunk in Love is a really nice song about loving your man or girl with the genius subtext of being drunk on it. Talk Dirty is crap that's the complete opposite, and Hurt You is just a perfect R&B song that there should be more of.
Well, thank you all for joining me on this edition of Short/Long Music Review. Until next time, "Good Good" Bye!!
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