Former Nickelodeon starlet-turned-Pop superstar/occasional embarrassment Ariana Grande returns to Studio 8H for her second turn as musical guest and her first shot as host.
"It's too bad for them I didn't have my knife on me. I've been known to cut a bitch." -Ben Carson
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Ariana took to the main stage to perform her Monologue. (Yes, perform--as in sing)
Ever since her incident where she licked a donut in a New York bakery last summer, she felt horrible about her and wanted everyone to shame her appropriately. At the same time, she wants to live a more grown-up life in the public eye and stardom. So she wants to commit a harder, stronger, gets-viewed-by-everyone adult scandal.
She was fantastic during this.
For starters, a discussion with Kenan about starting careers at Nickelodeon (Along with Tkill, but we'll get to that later) was really sweet, and the joke about why he hasn't reuniting with Kel Mitchell was hilarious.
As for the song portion I knew she had a great voice, but I didn't know she had the pipes made for standards music. At one point, I mistook her for Lady Gaga.
Oh yeah, and...she wants a scandal? Well, she got it.
Yes, she did say the word "shit" during that performance. Apparently, Lorne is much more looser with the Standards and Practices department than we thought. Seriously, it's Kanye all over again, accept this time we just do this. That was either planned and acted adorable or actually was real and adorable. Ether way, she's in (a tiny bit) trouble this
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The Pre-Tape After is Hillary Clinton realizing that somewhere(--somehow), she's not the most popular Democratic nominee of this election. So she is accepting this...by changing herself to fit whatever can suit her at the moment to stay popular (specifically).
This has to be the most brilliant and satisfying attack on Hillary Clinton they've done yet. She's known during campaign season for changing her stories and stances toward certain things to stay on top.
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Kids Choice Awards Pre-Show
I love this one. They knew what they were doing with this one.
The unrecognizable child co-hosts with the even more unrecognizable names, the annoying hype towards the show itself, the corny chemistry between them, and of course the wrong times to start the show--from throwing to it early, to the clock counting up, to it working like an alarm clock (the dreaded blinking 12).
This is just great not only for shading the show for the fuck-ups with the countdown time before the show starts, but everything else around it.
Also, those blimps behind Brynlee?
Yeah, they bear the original Nick logo.
Those have to have been given to the show for the skit by Kenan (as he had won some back during his days on All That and Kenan & Kel), so if so, that's awesome.
To say nothing about the fact that the skit took place hours after the actual show, which was obvis brilliant, and that Taran Killam also started his career on the network as Spaulding on the "Moody's Point" skit on The Amanda Show, all of this was on-point.
This is the Best Sketch of the Week, definitely hands down.
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Mermaids: Oceanna, Cherelle and Shud
If anything, this was all Kate McKinnon being weird, this time as Shud the third mermaid. Everything about this was hilarious. Her getting horny with her saved fisherman, revealing that she has two mouths (one for shitting), and wanting to merge with her saved fisherman. All of this is laugh-out-loud creepy
This is exactly why Kate is so loved. She can do any role, no matter how creepy or weird, and knock it out easily.
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Celebrity Family Feud! AGAIN!!
This time some of the best actors and directors face off in the classic game of asking the most creepy and sexual questions ever...that month.
(This is probably gonna get taken down, so let me know when it does)
This was hilarious. ALL OF IT.
Everyone gave their all as the impersonations.
But Special mention goes to:
-Ariana--knocking her mock-up of Jennifer Lawrence out the damn park
-Kate McK--doing Tilda Swinton justice
-Beck Bennett--killing his fake Javier Bordem
-And even Jon Rudnitsky with a fantastic version of Martin Scorsese
Also, Kenan is still fantastic as Harvey, who at this point can be funny fucking up any other thing under the sun--like Idris Elba's name or Old Country for Old Mens.
This is definitely the second best of the season's offerings.
Fave Lines:
Celebrities-
"They told me not to do a game show, but I was like, 'screw it, I can have fun. I'm a regular person'" -Jennifer Lawrence
"I just won a MAFTA. That's a BAFTA on the Moon." -Tilda Swinton / 2
"HELLO FOLKS! IT'S THE FATMAN ON BATMAN!! THANKS FOR HAVING ME ON THE PODCAST, STEVE." -Kevin Smith
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Harvey-
2--"Whatever you say, David Bowie."
"For us, it's 10 in the morning, but for you, it's day three."
"I loved you as the grandfather in Up."
"Whatever you say, big love."
"Show me GOTTA GET DAT ASS!"
"I know exactly what you tryna say. Show me cocaine!"
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Saving TIDAL
This is clearly pretty much the sketch where a computer glitch almost took down Pandora, but Bruno Mars the shy intern saves the day by singing Michael Jackson and others. This time she doesn't laughably pass away. But I'm cool with the recycle.
Like the original (which itself was brilliant), this was also a very good, very funny skit. Showcasing Ariana's incredible talent--mixing her nice vocals and great impressions with the wonderful talents of other female talents (except Rihanna, that one was meh), this pretty much cements her talent of impersonation. Bravo.
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In the Final sketch, the nuns of the Nonnberg Abbey have a problem on their hands, named Maria. So they sing about her in criticism of her free, cheerful spirit. That is until Maria herself hears about it, and is furious. So she claps back at them. No, seriously.
My Goodness, I'm gonna hate myself for this, but...that was fierce, on fleek, FIRE and Gone with the Wind FABULOUS!!! Seriously, it's as if she stepped into a time machine, went to 2015, stumbled upon an episode of Maury and came back to put these witches in their place. And it was hilarious AND brilliant.
We all wanted to have something to say to the nuns while watching the film (and a lot more to say during the NBC televised musical, but not to them.), and the fact that the writers thought of putting them into this version of Maria was kinda brilliant.
I really liked this one.
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Here's a little treat for you.
I've only posted a Cut for Time sketch once, and that was last season,
(I promise I'll do more about that during my move to WordPress)
and since there were two this week, I had to post them here. And both were brilliant.
One of which one again shows off her absolutely impeccable impression of the Judy Garland. Seriously, even the icon herself would be proud. I'm sure she would love anyone playing her.
Also, everyone else did great; Kenan, Rudnitsky and BeckBeen as the actors playing Captain Judy Garland's ship workers, TKill as the host Daniel O'Dance
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Pre-Tape Time!
The female cast members (and guest host Ariana) are on a mission. A mission to write, produce and sing a song to unite women and provide comfort and solemness to prove that they are in it together for the long haul. But first, they need to write it...and that the song they're singing about isn't it. This is "This Is Not A Feminist Song".
This song may not be about feminism, but it's still everything.
I love how it feels like it, but it's not about it. How the video features all aspects of these songs, like a bunch of everyday women in everyday positions (even showing an old woman's hands). And I love how aware of it all is; "Hey, we've wanted to make a song about this certain thing, but we didn't anyway, so here's a bunch of stuff that are usually found in videos like this.". I LOVE THAT!! And I love how dismissive it acts to be of people who don't agree to feminists' more questionable beliefs. It's brilliant, creative and funny. Plus the female cast members get to sing again, and that's always a plus.
I love this a lot. One of my favorite Pre-Tapes this season.
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In case you forgot (I don't blame you; these reviews are long as shit anyway), Ariana is also the Musical Guest this week. And with that is its own responsibility. Performing music that her fans have waited way past their bedtimes to watch, squee, fangirl and flood Twitter for in abundance (some of them lucky enough to get RT'd by the show).
Uhh...scratch that.
The two songs she's shilling around during Round 2 are tracks from her upcoming third album Dangerous Woman, which--
--if the artwork is of any indication, we'll be preparing for the invasion of...Discount Catwoman (called HareGirl)! or the goofiest Mariah Carey fan ever. or...the biggest fan of Halley from Astroblast by 10 years.
Seriously, that album artwork is ridiculous as fuck, and should not have been used to show off the record or create this era of mentality that we're supposed to see her as Dangerous.
She quoted of Egyptian feminist writer Nawal El Saadawi's novel from 1975, Woman at Point Zero as follows:
and had this to say on the title:
"They said, 'You are a savage and dangerous woman.' I am speaking the truth. And the truth is savage and dangerous"
Really? Who are you kidding?!?
"'Moonlight' is a lovely song, and it's a lovely title. It's really romantic, and it definitely ties together the old music and the new music, but 'Dangerous Woman' is a lot stronger. … To me, a dangerous woman is someone who’s not afraid to take a stand, be herself and to be honest."
Janis Joplin is Dangerous.
Lil Kim is Dangerous.
Mariah Carey is Dangerous.
Hell, even Carole King is Dangerous
Fuck, even "Weird Al" Yankovic from the album cover of Even Worse is Dangerous!!!
I cannot take her words about the title or even the quote of Woman at Penn Zero--I mean Point Zero *sigh*--the book seriously with that artwork. It's just so goofy and adorable. Ariana, get out of here with that.
Wait, what was I talking about? Oh yeah, the performances. Yeah, they were great.
Ariana brought some heat and seduction and charisma to the performance stage.
Okay, two out of three.
Her first song, "the title track" is ... Well...
One thing I can't get past is her wearing a bustier with a blazer hanging off her arm. Just goofy. Like Selena Gomez, she is attractive--but looks so young, it makes me feel like I'm watching something from Toddlers and Tiaras. But the difference between them is, Ariana has personality to her voice.
All I can say is, it's a better single to start with than "Problem", which is just a sucky rehash of "Problem" (Good luck being memorable in Japan! Konnichiwa!!).
I got a better time watching the second song "Be Alright"
which features male dancers dancing like in Chicago!
Or...like the dancers in Madonna's "Vogue" video. Either way, it rocks. Seeing these guys give all they got gave me chills. So much, that I just had to imitate some of what they did, and...I thought I did pretty good.
The production is light at the start and then picks up more as the chorus comes in. I like that aspect as much as that of "Dangerous Woman". Simple and soft, then rough and bouncier.
I enjoyed the hell out of these performances. I always knew Ariana was a very talented singer, but these performances were just great; on par with her last performances.
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Time for an Update:
Jost & Che pretty much ripped apart Trump and his supporters during their extended joint-joke, which was no-holds-barred but brutally delicious from start to finish.
Cecily appears as a booted contested (or should I say, boozed) from The Bachelor
I love the little aside mentioning Leslie Jones, implying something more is going on between then.
RIBLET'S BACK!!!
I honestly love this guy. He always brings me joy every time I see him. Every time he says "jorb" gives me a perfect contact high
This was a great edition: non-stop laughs, brilliant biting humor, perfect performance from the anchors and a very-missed return from Riblet. I loved this one.
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Wraparound:
I always thought of Ariana Grande as a very talented actress (yep, even on Sam & Cat) and musician (even on "Focus").
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ConcluSLoN:
I really enjoyed this episode. This was a great one, indeed.
SNL will be going through yet another two-week hiatus. So
Tune in on April 2, when multiple-award winner--and coolest midget ever, Peter Dinklage hosts Episode 15, with music from Gwen Stefani (Because NBC just loves shilling The Voice.). For now, I'm just fascinated that the network got its logo out the safe area again (If you're a TV production nerd, you'll know what that means).
And with that geeky factoid, I'm Andrew, and I'll see you in a couple weeks. ...again.
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