Remebering Prince

It happened. But to someone we all never expected to leave us at such an early time.
Prince has passed away.

He was an artist we all knew and loved. His music has touched, changed, inspired, transcended and moved the world for over 4 decades. His unique and brilliant productions have left millions of fans gobsmacked and breathless, with beautiful mixes of R&B, pop, rock, funk and the Minnesota sound. And his persona was memorable; his outfits were fabulous and swagger-iffic and there is a reason he is named The Purple One.
All of these elements have made him one of the most iconic and memorable figures in all of music. He was and still is.

I've always listened to his music by chance on the radio. And when I do, turn it up and jam. I've loved Prince's music and appreciated his style, sound and vocals. Like Michael Jackson and Whitney Houston, He truly was God's gift to the world, even when his moments on stage, in his music videos, and in his films were not holy or pure. This music was music for grown folks, but-like the music of MJ and Whitney-is so amazing that young people like me can listen and enjoy and be fans to it. And it's something you cannot go through life without hearing.

I had that feeling that he'd live on forever a long time. He's a very healthy and happy working man (to me) and didn't look sick till that day. But when that day came, I was shocked beyond belief. I couldn't think it could happen.

When I heard of his passing, I thought this was a hoax. Just some sick twisted lie someone threw at news agencies and companies just to feign outrage and bewilderment. But as time passed, I couldn't think it anymore and that it all settled in. He's gone. I was heartbroken and scared.

He will live on in his music. It will continue on forever. And Prince's legacy will rise and live forever until the end of time.

A Great Day for Women, Blacks and Currency: Harriet Tubman to be Featured on $20 Bill

As the title says, today is a great day for Women, African Americans and American currency. Earlier today, Jacob J. Lew of the US Treasury Department announced that Andrew Jackson--the 20th President of the United States, will be replaced as the face of the American $20 bill by Harriet Tubman.

Tubman, a former slave and forever abolitionist, created the Underground Railroad, helping other Black slaves escape racial confinement during the Confederacy era and run to freedom in the North.
I don't have to tell you, but the Treasury's decision is a great one on so many levels, and a great idea for Tubman to be the face of any bill, let alone the $20 bill. She fought hard for the rights and freedom of African Americans during the Confederation era and had the intelligence, wisdom and strength to do so. She was-and still is-an icon not only for African American history, but also for women's history. She truly is a woman to look up to, whether you're black, a woman, both or neither.

That's more than I can say for previous face Andrew Jackson, who up until this point in my life was just a President whose name I knew--and shared. But as I knew about from an article on my Facebook feed a while ago, I learned more about him than I bargained for. He was a slave-owner and infamously killed Native American upon his belief of the common man. But as of now, I believe he's a common thief and murderer who believed in a horrible twisted logic that would've ruined the American spirit that would've made this country the wonderful (if not questionable) melting pot country that it has been for the past couple centuries.

As for the news that Alexander Hamilton will stay on the $10 bill, I can only wonder why.



But no, seriously, I'm happy we have Hamilton: The Musical, not only in our lives (please check out the cast recording sometime soon; it's brilliant), but also to thank of sparring the Founding Father on the $10 bill. He was a true American man--he co-created the Constitution; founded the American financial system; was the Father of the Coast Guard; founded a party that believed in financial growth, a strong sturdy government and a friendly relationship with Great Britain; established a bank; and founded the New York Post. A badass if we've ever seen one until the very end.
Had he been removed, we would've been stuck with an INDIAN GIVER and KILLER on our legal tender alongside Harriet Tubman and Abraham Lincoln.

Another great thing about this new change in American currency is that images of women in history will also be featured on currency. Lew also announced last year that he wants to change (and revolutionize) American bills by printing historical images of women making change on the backs of other American bills like the 10 and 5 bills, including a depiction of a 1913 march in support of women’s right to vote that ended at the Treasury building, along with the images of Lucretia Mott, Sojourner Truth, Elizabeth Cady Stanton, Alice Paul and Susan B. Anthony (which you may remember as the woman who appeared on the $1 coin until printing ceased).

I stand with Mr. Lew's decision to put women on American currency. Women have shaped the history and revolution of this country as much as men have and have fought long and hard to be treated as equal as men (some of them have even been killed in their efforts), and I believe that putting them on money is only a step toward a country of true equality of gender.

There is still more to go. Women deserve to be paid as much as men, deserve job as high and mighty as men and should not be categorized for unflattering things like sex, children and laziness. And many other things that cruelly and unfairly separate women from men. And if there are people who cannot get behind that, then you're not a true American and your shitty sexist backwards thinking can be kept quiet or can go somewhere else.

Bravo, Mr. Lew.
Bravo to you for continuing and succeeding in your fight to change American currency for pioneering women to be recognized as much as pioneering men. This is a great decision on so many levels and I cannot be any more proud to stand with it.
I cannot wait for the day the new $20 bills to be printed, minted and released, not only to say I have one, but to also be proud of our country making more steps to become more of the melting pot country we said we were.

Toony Tuesday 2016: The Loud House

Hi everyone.
It's Drew with another Toony Tuesday for you(...sday)!
This time I'm reviewing Nickelodeon's newest Nicktoon--which I'm sure they should stop calling in general and also do so for cartoon that deserve it. But I think this one deserves it.

Are you a part of one of those families that have so many siblings that it drives you crazy on account of all the sharing and fighting and having to go to war over just the bathroom...and all other that stuff? Yeah, so am I, and just as this little guy Lincoln. And he's gonna tell you all about it.

It's The Loud House.



Created by Chris Savino and based on his real life growing up in his childhood home with 10 other siblings (11 total by the way), this series features the adventures--and misadventures of 11-year-old Lincoln Loud, and his 10 sisters--Lori, Leni, Luna, Luan, Lynn, Lucy, Lola, Lana, Lisa, and baby Lily--as they (especially Lincoln) navigate throughout their young lives though the hurdles and craziness of sharing a house together. With his best pal Clyde by his side, Lincoln does his best to break through the clutter and tries his best make it through the day. And get to the bathroom and TV first. And along the way, tell us about it. No really.

Since we all know what Nick is as a network and company as of late, I had low standards toward their recent fare as announced by their 2016 upfront. There were a lot of new programming to debut later this year, and I felt compelled to watch none of them. The titles had little appeal and the descriptions sounded pretty stupid. But there was one of the new shows that held me in for a bit, with a title that's short and sweet and a description that could make for an interesting half-hour.

When I watched a preview of it last month (below),

going in, I had low standards and felt like just another cartoon/Nicktoon to avoid. Surprisingly...It wasn't. It actually was an enjoyable experience. And after it ended, I then thought "Hmm. This isn't as bad as I thought. Not at all. I really enjoyed it! Now I'm really excited to watch it".

Then Nick released two episodes earlier in the month
(A Tale of Two Tables/The Sweet Spot and Hand-Me-Downer/Sleuth or Consequences)
and this bolstered my enjoyment.

It's definitely different and sticks out from other Nicktoons airing right now: it's light, nuanced, not too fast-paced and more homey. And I love it!
Don't get me wrong; I enjoy some of Nick's cartoons right now, too. (Examples: Harvey Beaks and Pig Goat Banana Cricket)
But I really enjoy The Loud House for what it is.

Lincoln and his 10 4-letter L-named sisters

The characters are some I like right now, and not very complex (from what I've seen so far), with personalities we've seen/noticed before, but are very well created here:
-bossy Lori
-sweet-but-ditzy Leni
-rocker Luna
-goofy jokester/prankster Luan
-extreme & sporty Lynn
-goth/emo Lucy
-prissy & bratty Lola
-tomboy Lana
-dull genius Lisa, and
-baby Lily (who is pretty much an excuse for stinky diaper jokes)
--and lastly, the one guy in the middle (literally, he's the middle child), Lincoln
All of the Loud offspring have wonderfully fleshed-out personalities that are written and voice-acted well, and you'll have a hard time finding a favorite (but don't worry, Lincoln is one of mine; so that's less of a hassle at this point)

But what makes them great in my book is this: they're all not crazy, scatterbrained, extremely annoying or hateful; Just some of the most normal characters in a Nicktoon in a long time. A breath of fresh air.

Also a character I like is Lincoln's best friend Clyde.
He's there to assist Linc on whatever scheme he's planned and always has his back. He's also a bit of a nerd (IE his love of doing his parents' taxes with them) and has a crush on Lori. He's definitely not a boring character; he's also really funny and a great source of humor.

The animation isn't bad at all; I wouldn't say "Give it an Annie!" or anything yet, but I really enjoy the sketchy, simplified style, which fondly resembles the drawings of comic strips from our childhoods. And I also got some Gravity Falls vibes from it (especially because Lori looks like Pacifica), as the characters do kinda-sorta resemble some characters from the latter show, especially with the shapes of the eyes on their faces.

Also, their house looks really cool, too. I'd definitely want to live in a crib like that; sibling number be damned.

I also love the element of Lincoln Abraham Breaking the Fourth Wall to talk to us-the viewers-about what he's been up to and what trials he's come up against and the lessons he's learned thanks to sharing a home with ten sisters and what he deals with involving them. This very fondly resembles Malcolm in the Middle, is a very nice element and gives us more to learn about his character and personality, which is a cool one already.

And I don't have to tell you, but the love, fights and bonding across the Loud family is wonderful and genuine. Even if most of the time two or more members (Lincoln almost always one of them) squabble, it's clear that at the end of the day, they all love each other and wouldn't any of the others for anything. You can hear and feel it in the voice acting and in the animation. Just let Lincoln Log himself tell you that from "Left in the Dark".

"You know, I may have missed my show, but sometimes, it's not about being there first. Sometimes, it's about being there together — all of us."

Now this concept of sharing the family home with a bunch of siblings isn't a new thing on TV--it's happened before in many shows and movies, but I think this is a relatively new spin on it, since this is a definite number of sisters involved.

This series' concept is the first to be greenlit to series from it's annual Animated Shorts Program, chosen from over 950 titles from around the globe.
And for that, I'm even more proud and for it.

Just as proud I am is of the theme song and title sequence.
It perfectly captures the overarching plot, tone and goofiness of the series and is definitely catchy. The pop rock production is amazing and the singer is really good at the lyrics, which are memorable when you learn them. Ever since the first time I've heard the line "In the Loud House, In the Loud House", it's never left my head (although I'd never want to) and I'll sing it every chance I get. (I'm probably doing it right now as you're reading this.)

As for the title sequence, it's very well-drawn and--like the TS--also perfectly captures the plot, tone and goofiness. The brilliant piece of it is this: here, while Lincoln Motor Company is normally drawn, the Loud girls are colored-coded in different colors (matching the colors on their clothing in the series proper), making them different and . And the "1 Boy/10 Girls" line is also great. I love that; it's really unique and helps drive the sequence home. And the Loud House itself is also amazingly drawn. I love this open and it helps make the series even more fun to watch and worth

Random Thoughts:
Lincoln
--Looking at one of the cast photos for the first time, what stuck out the most was Lincoln's white hair. I thought it looked weird at first (as all other family members have either blonde or brunette hair), but soon after I now find it awesome and can't stop thinking over it. Savino said in an interview that it actually isn't his natural color (no duh) and it makes me wonder. Stay tuned.
--I just enjoy the fact that a boy (Grant Palmer specifically) is voicing him instead of a grown man.
--Lincoln's bedroom is a closet. I don't know if CBBC's Broom Cupboard from back in the day is bigger, but hey, if put the position of living in a house with ten girls all fighting for dominance somewhere, I'd rather take the micro space too. Your own room/space is key to a sane childhood. ...sometimes.
--I wish my name is Lincoln too. Waaaay better than Andrew (although sharing a name with a US President [...well, a likable one] can be pretty cool).

Loud Sisters
--All of them are all different kinds of cute. That is all.
--Some of my favorites so far are
-Luan (her jokes and pranks are corny, but super cute and funny)
-Lynn (it's been a while since I've watched an animated female character who plays/loves sports, and she's awesome at it)
-Lucy (cutest little goth girl ever, her love for--of all things--"Princess Pony" is adorably hilarious)
-Luna (she can rock!)
-Lisa (she graduated from college at four. Don't ask, don't think, don't wonder; just go with it. Plus her lisp and monotone behavior are undeniably adorable.
She's pretty much Little Daria.)
-and Lana (Handy Manny, watch out! No seriously, she's a fiend with a wrench.)
--As for the full diapy jokes from Lily, I don't mind them...as long as there's a maximum of two per...every other episode.


I've always had fond respect in Chris Savino as an animator. From working on season one of Johnny Test (universally the best season of them all) to later working on Kick Buttowski and Friendship is Magic, he's definitely a dude I can get behind in television animation. And now that he's got his own show where he's calling the shots, I surely can and will get behind this one too. And I'm glad I did, as you read earlier.

It's already gotten some good promotion and reception from Nick, with two episodes already released on its website (both were great views for me [obvs]) and--if TV Tropes counts as a source--the episode count for Season 1 doubled to 26. A great start for what could can (and will) be a popular and long-lasting Nicktoon. I can feel it...

Thanks for joining me for my review of The Loud House, a Nicktoon that should be called a Nicktoon.

See you guys later!!

Short/Long Music Review 2016: March

Hi, everyone, and welcome to another month of songs on the charts checked in and reviewed for Short/Long Music Review.

There was some nice movement in the Top 10 in this month of March, as I’ve already reviewed most of the singles that have appeared in the top--or have risen or fallen since I’ve discussed them month.
-“Work” is still #1 for the past month (Good)
-”Love Yourself” rose to #2 (Great)
-”7 Years”-a song I don’t like much-actually rose to #3 (to my shock)
-”Stressed Out” dropped 2 spots to #4 (Grown on me)
-”My House” held on to the #5 spot (Meh)
-”Pillowtalk” dropped from the top and the top five. (Good)
-”Sorry” is still hanging at #8 (Cool)
- and my prediction just might gain some traction: DNCE’s debut “Cake by the Ocean” is second to last at #9. Hope it either goes higher or stays in the Top 10 in general.

Because there isn’t much to discuss there as we reach Month 3, I’ll just start with the bottom half of the Top 20. Let’s start with Ariana Grande’s latest single, the “title track” of her third LP Dangerous Woman.

I...don’t know where to go with this one.
When I think of a song where a woman (in Ariana’s case, an adolescent trying to be grown) turns bad, I expect the beat to have more speed and drive, not this slow percussion-heavy slow jam groove best for first-time sex with a guy picked by the music video director based off his looks on the summer ads for American Eagle.
I like the beat a lot, but it clearly doesn’t sounds like one for a song about a dangerous woman.

Also, this “stretching out the last word of every line after almost smashing the whole stanza together” thing she has going on with her vocals is really annoying. She sounds great here, but the execution is just near grating. Also near grating, the guitar solo in the bridge is clearly affected, and doesn’t sound right to me. What does sound right to me is the affected vocals at the end, which--not gonna lie--is kinda hot.

This track isn’t laughable, but it is questionable; but I think it can grow on me as the year progresses.
What is laughable is this: if Ariana wants to look like a “Dangerous Woman”, she should take off the bunny ears mask and show off a skinny, tight leather jacket and pants over a bustier on the album cover. That would be FIRE!
And that mask doesn’t make her look dangerous. It makes her look like a discount Catwoman...or a superhero (or super-villain) alter-ego for Louise Belcher...or the biggest fan of Halley from Astroblast! by ten years. (...look it up).
--
And now, Meghan Trainor has returned (even though she never left) with a new hairstyle and a new attitude to match, in preparation for her second album Thank You. And to start off the single collage around that, here’s her first single--or piece of shit on skewered feminism, depending on your view, “NO”.

When I first read the title, I thought this song would something of a female empowerment anthem discouraging domestic abuse. When I heard it, I was only a little disappointed. While It’s not against abuse, we did get something as good in showing your clear disinterest to a man who won’t quit hitting on you. Basically if you’ve ever watched Victorious, you may have heard one of the songs “Take a Hint”; it’s just like that.
I love the beat; an eclectic mix of electropop and R&B from the 90s and early-2000s that reminds me of Lauryn Hill, Britney Spears and Dangerously in Love-era Beyonce. And the lyrics are also great; pretty much showing what you usually hear in songs like this without losing the point or going overboard.

Although....one gripe about this song is this line:
“Lick your lips and swing your hips/And all you have to say is”
You ain’t gotta do all that. You REALLY don’t have to do all that. Hell, it won’t even help your case. That’ll probably just make the guy even more hornier and lustier. Just say “no” and walk away. And if the dude really doesn't give up, just throw a glass of alcohol at him and then run.
One thing I don’t like about it at first is Trainor’s vocals try so hard to emulate Rihanna’s vocals from at least the start of the latter’s career. I couldn't understand some of the lines because her voice was so thick and try-hard. And no one asks for their sign anymore.

Other than that, I really like this one. It’s much better than almost all of her singles, especially “All About That Bass” and “Dear Future Husband” and that dogshit collab with Charlie Puth, “Marvin Gaye”. If her second album Thank You (or at least future singles from it) are anything like this, then I just might like her again. MIGHT.
Shit like those can take a while to change me.
--
Fifth Harmony seems to be driving the “I’m a boss with a lot of money and a lot of sex appeal” thing to the ground (See the album cover) with “Work from Home”...which has to be the most bland, uninteresting and lifeless song I’ve ever heard yet.
And I’ve wasted a chunk of my life listening to “Only” and “Fancy”.

Okay, seriously! This is so uninteresting, boring, lifeless and laughable that--after listening to it and watching the video for the first time--it left me with NO reaction; I was left just flabbergasted and speechless.

None of the girls have lyrics that are memorable (or even more than basic), or vocals that have any personality, or much cadence, substance or even talent (surprise surprise). All of this just left my soul with the same disgusting feeling I felt from watching the pilot of Tales from the Darkside. (Seriously, don’t watch that if you don’t like horror media.)
Plus, their vocals clearly are affected, but not Auto-tuned. So of course, they have to rely on halter tops, jean short shorts under tool belts and grinding on every construction material in sight to carry the video.

As for the beat, I was left at a crossroads.
Between this and “Worth It”, this beat had nothing to offer, but I like it and is pretty catchy. Whereas with the latter, I didn’t like it, and it had more to show and is more memorable, for better or worse. But there’s one thing that’s still the same: All beats in Fifth Harmony songs are terrible and have nothing of excitement, joy or even interest. They’re just another novelty at best and a horrible girl group at worst, and I cannot--for the life of me--like or support me for anything they put out or perform.

I largely expected featured artist Ty Dolla $ign to rap(-sing) something horrible; but somehow, like Kid Ink on “Worth It”, he actually puts out something more interesting than the group. Sure, most of the verse is just “Shake dat ass fo’ me, mami”, but it left me with a more better taste in my mouth. And I really don't want what he sells.
Shocking, I know. I’d be surprised as shit if the next time I hear this, I’ll be tapping my foot in anticipation for Ty’s verse to come up. It’s shocking that Fifth Harmony can make a shitty rapper look better than themselves in their own songs. I scared for what happens next; maybe Rich Homie Quan? Tyga?? Young Thug?!?

Screw Fifth Harmony. I never want to hear or see them again.
--
“Never Forget You” - Zara Larsson & MNEK

This next song follows a basic “I’ll always love you and I’ll never forget you” formula in some songs. But this isn’t really bad. Larsson has a really nice voice, reminiscent of Rihanna but doesn’t sound forced or irritating, like Selena Gomez tried and failed to do. Also, the other artist in this, MNEK, also did a really good performance. Honestly I thought that he was a rapper or a DJ--because of his name and the appearance in the video. He has a nice voice reminiscent of Sam Smith (in fact if you didn’t know of this song, you would’ve thought that was Smith there).
Both artists are pretty talented (if not similar to other artists), but can carry this song pretty well.

The beat is one of the better parts of this. It has a nice drive that goes hard during the post-chorus, but not too hard. And it fits the concept and tone of the track well.
As for the video, it’s very creative and cute. It follows a little girl and her imaginary friend as they grow older and wiser as time passes. And throughout the clip’s timeframe, the no-so-girl and the creature grow but have still stayed together. It’s a lovely, bright visual that I’ve enjoyed watching.

I don’t love it, but I really like and enjoy this song, and I think it can become a nice minor hit as the months pass.
--
Alessia Cara is an artist I really like. You may remember I proved that in a tweet back in December, showing my love for her breakthrough "Here".

Lemme tell you right now.
I'm officially obsessed with @alessiacara's #Here. So dour, so gloomy, so anti-fun. SO BRILLIANT too.

— EDREWtorial (@EDREWtorial) December 24, 2015

(3 people liked it. She was one of them.)
Anyway, she has a new song out called "Wild Things" and I kinda like it.

Remember that line in "Here" where she mentions wanting to be with her friends and chatting about world domination:
"And we'll discuss our big dreams, how we plan to take over the planet"
She took that and turned it into a song. Which is really good.
I like the beat; the sound of what probably is hands banging on a surface and little cymbals (?) like in that "Cups" song from Pitch Perfect, but this is much different here. Also, Alessia's vocals are much more expansive, expressive and better than in "Here". I like this one a lot.

Also, I listened to her EP Four Pink Walls; and while not great, I pretty much enjoyed it is most places. I suggest giving it a quick listen before checking out her debut LP Know-It-All.
--
If you’re noticing a trend here, the last few songs I’ve reviewed were by women.
Happy Belated Women's History Month!!
--
“Sugar” - Robin Schulz ft. Francesco Yates

Robin Schulz is yet another DJ on the scene with his debut single “Sugar” featuring Francesco Yates. This song isn't much special, but is still a light fun song. There isn't much that gives off a club or a breakdance vibe (no bass or drive, just something of modern disco), but it's best for a little radio play once in awhile.

I've only heard of Yates from his appearance at last year's MMVAs, and because I’ve never heard a lick of his music, he’s mostly remembered for his nice-as-hell white-dude afro, which already made me a fan. So I had to see what this track is all about
He has a really nice voice; not extravagant, but pleasant to hear. What isn't pleasant is the guy's looks. While watching the video, I noticed that Yates does not at all look 20. He looks frickin' 12!

Like a male Annie. That's kinda scary.

From seeing the title, I’ve had thoughts of this song being similar to the song by Maroon 5, and from hearing the beat, my thoughts may not be so hollow. It goes along the same district, but thanks to the EDM feel, that’s all for comparisons.
While this isn’t a song I would break the replay button for like everyone else is on YouTube (over 150 million views as of this post), this is still a song I would enjoy in general.
Congrats, Robin.
--
The Chainsmokers have, in my opinion, made a major rebound in their musical catalog after their obnoxious abomination/appreciation of douchey self-portraits known “#SELFIE”, with two songs doing really well on the charts,
“Roses” featuring...ROZES (heeeh)

And “Don’t Let Me Down” ft. Daya


“Roses” is kinda amazing. It’s got a catchy sweet beat and a kickass chopped production that make you do the robot with each frame cut of the chorus. I don’t mind the one verse that partially repeats as it progresses; it's a really cool line to sing along to.

Meanwhile, “Don’t Let Me Down” is more darker track about trying to gain the trust of someone you love, hoping they down ruin it; with a fast, hard drive in the production to match. I love the beat of “DLMD” slightly more than “Roses”, but the drop in “Roses” is just damn brilliant. Some of the comments on YT prove it hilariously.

I really like (maybe even borderline love) these songs, and I think I can start appreciating The Chainsmokers as an EDM duo that deserves to be listened to, and not be avoided at all costs.
--
And now that the pop and EDM is over with here, let's get to R&B and Hip-Hop. And what way to start this section than with...
--
“Back to Sleep” - Chris Brown
Aww, dammit!!

My sisters listen to him. This feels like the biggest disgrace to my family.

Chris Brown continues to become a disgusting embarrassment to the R&B genre (at least in my eyes) with “Back to Sleep”, which at first glance...is clearly about fucking until the girl passes out from the vileness.
I mean, come on. What do you think this crap is about? Reading the song’s title before Brown’s name was enough of a perfect guess. But after hearing the song, I knew that his credibility and creativity has continued to dwindle lower and lower...and lower...and lower.
And the beat tries its damndest to make all this sound sensual and even sexy with a fake 90s sound, but it’s not.
Plus, after hearing the chorus, I then thought “If you’re banging her back to sleep, does this mean you suck at sex?” Because that’s my only thought. Either that or the woman wasn’t in the mood, but went along with it--which may be the same thing. ...or rape. (either way, *pbbt*.)
Ohh, and the bridge basically says "I don't care if you got a job; take a day off. We bangin' til noon. I don't care if you fired; I want to get inside you, and you're gonna let me. Got that?"
But you said earlier you'd fuck her back to sleep, which is before she goes to work. What kind of mindset do you have!? Well, probably one that inspired "Loyal", apparently.
So Chris Brown doesn't want you to work; he's spent hours away from you touring and making music, and he wants to do something important with you that he could've done at another time. He wants to fuck you. And according to him, you have nothing else to do (sleeping is that), so you must comply.
Yeah...that's rape. Well, close to that.
Chris Brown...fuck you.

Anyway, this garbage song sucks pure ass and I wouldn’t touch it with a 10-yard iron pole. But don’t count out BET still hiring him to perform this song (or any others) at this year's BET Awards. I don’t blame them; they still need someone to help keep them semi-relevant for at least one night a year.
--
“Oui” - Jeremih

Speaking of BET being desperate--Jeremih? Who? Oh yeah, “Birthday Sex” and “Don’t Tell ‘Em”.
Anyway, he somehow is still relevant and has yet another hit on the charts.
This one being “Oui”, which I think is better than the aforementioned songs and more. The soft-and-smooth R&B beat actually sounds nice and fits the tone nicely. And Jeremih’s vocals don’t annoy me as much. Granted they still annoy me since the start, but I can handle them here.
I also like the part of the song near the end where he vocalizes “Oooohh-”
This isn’t a bad song. I really enjoy this one.
--
Fetty Wap has another song on the charts called “Jimmy Choo”. And I must ask: WHY?!?

This song is shit for many reasons:
-The beat sounds like it was made in 2004
-Fetty still sounds like his mouth was filled with novocaine before he reached the microphone
-His continued use of his dumb-ass catchphrases
-The lines and rhymes are complete garbage
-Clear product placement of the Jimmy Choo shoe brand, and
-the fact that he’s still around.
This is his worst song to date in my eyes (although he’s never had a good song in my eyes ever), and I must ask another question: Why did we make him popular again? Well, no--actually, why did you people make make him popular again? I didn’t do jack shit for this to happen and I’m happy for that.
--
“Panda” - Desiigner
I wanted to talk about this song because the title reminded me of Panda from We Bare Bears.
I reeaaally wish it didn’t.

Okay. What fresh hell...
Was this...recorded by ISIS!? Seriously, who thought the bright idea was the constant sound effect of some dick cleaning out an AK magazine at target practice in Arizona? That is fucking creepy, while at the same time is annoying as hell.

The guy, Desiigner? What kind of stage name is that?? If rap is still trying to be masculine and hedonistic...this is a major example of it failing. And the two I’s? Smooth.
His voice is really unrecognizable at times; muttering every line, both sounding lazy and untalented and a fucking blessing because I really don’t want decipher. And the background voice pretending to a real nigga gansta is annoying as all fuck.

The title of the song is pretty much the musical equivalent of Clickbait. While it’s clearly not about pandas in general, I still expected something other than the usual bullshit drowning rap nowadays in this song. Which is funny because, in this song, Desiigner sounds like he’s drowning.

I hope to God that this guy will be a one-hit wonder. This song is garbage, should not have been made, should not have been popular and should not have been listened to--by me at least.

Also, that artwork? Stares at you at every direction. #Creepy
--
I can't stand Kid Ink. And I can't stand Fetty Wap.
And yet...I listened to a song by both. It's called "Promise".
I hate myself.

Fetty isn't as annoying as he is in his own songs, but it's still Fetty Wap.
And Kid Ink? He's...tolerable.
This song is still terrible. But slightly better than I thought it would be.
--
Rascal Flatts? Haven't heard that name since after they did that song for Cars.
Well, they're back with a new song called "I Like the Sound of That".
I Don't Like the Sound of This.

The frontman's vocals and twang are slightly un-listenable and all-the-way irritating and lead a thin premise that we've heard in most R&B and hip-hop songs in the last several years: killing the lonesome-ness and going to a girl's house for sex.
The production is good and the chorus is pretty fine. But this isn't a good song by them. Good thing I don't listen to them much. And Cars is a great film.
So...Not despise-able.
--
And finally, Justin Bieber has another song from Purpose that's landed on the charts. And...to be honest...I'm absolutely excited. This time, it's one of my favorite tracks off the album, "Company".

This song is the best in so many places.
The composition (it's about Justin pursuing a girl for a friends-with-benefits relationship) is really good. It's simple and straightforward, but layered nicely and very enjoyable.
The vocals (which are light and breathy in the first half of the song) are actually some of Bieber's best from the album (and maybe even his career), and definitely carries the song all the way.
The beat is awesome; it perfectly fits the tone of the track, has a use of Trap percussion that I actually quite enjoy, has a great touch of R&B, and gives me chills every time. AND I LOOOOOOVE IT!
I've listened to Purpose all the way through and I can say that this is his best album. Period. Justin Bieber has gotten better as an act and a person, and I can find it in my heart to actually enjoy him without coming close to projectile vomiting from the thought of him.
And this is one of the best parts of it. I wanted this to be a single sooo bad, and now that it is, and as he's performing it live now (like he is at the iHeartRadio Music Awards), I hope this becomes a huge hit. This is a Purpose song that has to become a hit. ...which isn't saying much because all other singles reached #1 anyway.

Toony Tuesday: The (New) Powerpuff Girls

Hello, everyone. And welcome to the first edition of Toony Tuesday. And what way to start off a new segment on a new blog than with a review of...a revival of an old animated series?
Yep.
It's the 2016 revival/reboot of The Powerpuff Girls.



When Cartoon Network announced in June 2014 that it would revive The Powerpuff Girls--one of its best and most beloved original series of the Cartoon Cartoons era (and still memorable today), I just rolled my eyes in annoyance and irritability.

In my opinion on revivals, I don't like the concept very much, especially during this decade. Many of them have come from the woodwork as of late, and while some are deserving of a resurrection (Fuller House, Hey Arnold!, Arrested Development, Gilmore Girls, DuckTales, Twin Peaks and the upcoming return of Samurai Jack), almost none of others were/still are needed (Coach [which was later cancelled], Heroes Reborn, Legends of the Hidden Temple [A MOVIE!!], MacGyver Celebrity Deathmatch and The Tick).

One of the latter in my opinion was The Powerpuff Girls, an supremely awesome show from when I was a kid, and still is now that I'm an adul(lescen)t. But after the announcement (and the terrible "Dance Pantsed" special from 2014, which I'm not touching with a 20-foot pole), I was really peeved. (What also makes me peeved is the new voices/actors of the titular Powerpuffs, but I'll get to that in a little bit.)

But I alas thought, "It can't be that. I mean, they're putting effort into this." So I thought it's best to try it our with fresh eyes and not let the original series get that nostalgia bug up my butt for too long. So let's check it out for my sake.


The animation is really nice. I like and enjoy the smooth fluid look throughout; it's not like the original, with its harder, rougher style (hey, that was the 90s; things were different then). I really enjoy the movements of the characters and specially the fight scenes, as what "Man Up" gave us. (the 'fire and waaaater" scenes were really cool too.)
Also, the new design of the Girls' and Professor Utonium's house looks super cool to me. This one adds some color and a layer of interest into the house, making the original look even duller than it was years ago (and I don't mind it at all).
That's one reason to watch the series without thoughts of the original blocking it.

The new(er) Powerpuff Girls

The Girls themselves are more or less (definitely less) the same crime-fighting, preschool-learning young firecrackers we've known and loved since adulthood, with nice little new(er) looks in designs, hairstyles and voices.
-Blossom now sports a bigger, rounder bow,
-Bubbles now wears scrunchies on her pigtails, and
-Buttercup has a cowlick over the left side of her hair.
It's not major, but still noticeable and is a nice indicator of the reboot.
What is major, though, is their voices, which (I don't even have to tell you) are definitely different.

The Girls, in this version, are voiced by Amanda Leighton, Kristen Li, and Natalie Palamides; they are replacing Cathy Cavadini, Tara Strong, and Elizabeth Daily of the original. I was pretty crushed to learn that the latter three wouldn't return for this series, but I understood why. Cartoon Network didn't even contact them about offering them to reprise their roles, and that they'd plan to replace them.
(Umm...HELL TO THE NO.)
Even more frustrated and heartbroken about it was Tara, who posted this tweet:

I don't remember ordering a stab in the heart today https://t.co/wmomYvtCDG

— tara strong (@tarastrong) June 8, 2015

You can definitely feel her pain and betrayal.
Alas, she wished no ill will to her (and her former co-stars') replacements, with this tweet sending solidarity and good luck:

I have NO ILL FEELINGS 4 the actresses in the new #ppg, We were just beyond hurt we were NEVER asked..every role I breathe life into I love

— tara strong (@tarastrong) June 9, 2015

I need a bit of luck myself trying to adjust to these new voices.
Blossom's is a little more high-pitched, Bubbles' is less cutesy and slightly more deep, and Buttercup's is much less gruff and much more...Max Black.

Seriously, there has to be a comparison between them.
To be honest, I actually kinda like new Bubbles' and new Buttercup's voices more than new Blossom's, which to be honest, sounds like a kid Caroline. Which goes back to--and even expands--my Buttercup/Max parallel.
I am very mixed with the new voices of the Powerpuffs. I like them a lot in their own right...but they're not those of Cathy, Tara and E.G., so that really hurts my heart (Maybe from a stab). I don't feel malicious at all towards the new actress at all, and I do wish them well as the voices of the Girls from now on.
Even more happily, some of the other voice actors from the original have returned, like Tom Kenny as "The Narrator" and The Mayor, Tom Kane as Professor Utonium and Jennifer Hale as Ms. Bellum (the woman we all wet-dreamed to in childhood) and Medusa. Having them all still work on this version is a brilliant decision, makes the series more exciting and memorable and saves it from outright outright condemnation. It still doesn't feel right without the main three, though; it would've felt like a perfect reunion with our childhoods.

The humor of this series is a lot different than the original: It feels a lot more girly. What made the original so awesome is the fact that it didn't just cater to girls; but to boys and adults too. That was a major reason why my siblings and I (who were almost all boys) loved this show when we were kids. And now watching this...it just doesn't feel right. At all.

The fact that original series creator Craig McCracken is not taking part in this revival series is the second worst of the whole ordeal. He basically built the original with his own hands and put a lot of sugar, spice and...you know into it, along with a lot of love too. And our love, dedication and devotion to it was proof. And now that he's not there, it just hurts.
I have some faith that the producers here, Nick Jennings and Bob Boyle, will do their very best to make this a close to memorable as the original. I like what they've done so far, so I hope their future plans will keep me around.

There's one last thing I'd like to say here. It's because of the new PPG that I had to go back and revisit the original after so many years. And the feeling of watching it again gives me intense feels of watching it as a kid again. I loved watching it with my family, so watching this now, today, was a hugely great feeling.

Well, those are my thoughts on the new Powerpuff Girls.
There are things I really like (the return of the original supporting voice actors and the nice animation style) and things I don't like (the original three voice actors didn't return, the fact that CN ordered a revival in the first place, and that the revival craze still hasn't died down yet)

Thanks for checking out this Review of the reboot of the Powerpuff Girls.
I'll be back soon with another one. See you later!

SNL 41 Review: Ep. 13 -- Melissa McCarthy & Kanye West

The Cold Open this week features five friends discussing which Democratic candidate to vote for in the next goalpost of the election season. When Bernie Sanders is their choice, Hillary Clinton comes from nowhere to try to accept this.
IN SONG!

This sketch is filled with strange logic and absurdity—Puzzlement on choosing Sanders over Hillary tuned to agreement, Hillary appearing out of nowhere in grand fashion singing "I Can't Make You Love Me", Bill Clinton revealing he's NOT playing a piano, and Jeb Bush popping out of a table singing the same song. But it works. The absurdity is hilarious, the strange logic keeps the skit going without really going off the rails and it kept me on lock throughout.
My favorite parts were when Hillary touched TKill and KyMoo's faces—with the guys trying not to move in their states of not noticing her (and mildly failing); when Bill revealed he wasn't playing piano; and when Jeb! Tried to do what Hillary was doing and embarrassingly realizing that he failed.
Also, Kate McKinnon has a really nice singing voice, even if she forces it for comedic effect like she did here.
Now that that's over...

--

Melissa McCarthy. If her recent films are any indication, she's pretty much Kevin Farley with longer hair and tits. Wait, wrong analogy. She's Kevin Farley with longer hair and...a vagina? Much...better?
She hosted SNL this week with a bit of excitement and joy. She's a new member of the Five-Timers Club! No? Wait a minute...no, she's not.

This is actually her fourth appearance as host, and is technically not a member yet. But thanks to Kenan, she has a little more to smile from. Since she did appear at SNL's 40th Anniversary Special (specifically the Weekend Update segment), that can count toward something different. As in a sixteenth added to her host count, making McCarthy a four & 1/16-time host.
This aspect was hilarious, counting on the tried-and-true gag of the Club being mentioned in the Monologue, last used to hilarious returns in the Season 38 finale by Ben Affleck. All he got was Bobby Moynihan wearing a T-shirt with a large number 5 on it.

The banana in the FTC smoking jacket and 4&One-SIXTEENTH glasses were great touches as well.
That is one ice-cold, good-looking, best-dressed banana (to show scale) I've ever seen. (Which, I guess, makes Melissa...second banana?? [Heh? Heh? Eh.])
Anyway, this was a pretty funny song-and-dance number and great congratulatory introduction for Melissa into her own club of host count: The 4 & 1/16-Timer Club. Good for you.

--

Now onto the sketches of the week.
I thought these tried to be hilarious, based on the talents we've known of McCarthy (an abrasive woman with the knack of being doty and weird, and the inconsistent urge to jump around and break stuff)--and some of them are in some degrees, but others left me questioning my TV habits.

First, "Test Screening", where a group of people get a chance to watch a new horror/suspense film first and later get to watch their reactions to it. This goes as well as you expect.
These are their reactions.

It's clear that this sketch abuses McCarthy's physical comedy skills and basis to shout random stuff. And that...was pretty hilarious. In the way that that's most of the entire skit. There were a couple other great moments, a couple of which come from Leslie Jones ("Man, this bitch is pissing on herself!"), which I didn't expect but very well enjoyed.
--
In "Movie Night", a family (Pete Davidson, McCarthy & Bobby Moynihan) watch the original Terminator film. They later get stuck watching a sex scene.
This goes as well as you expect.

First off...longest. sex scene. ever.
Second, longest. awkward. family time. ever.
Third, their inside thoughts were really funny. The family trying to make the best out of an embarrassing situation and failing hard. All three (especially Pete) did great, along with the people who time the audio of the characters' inside thoughts between lines. That was also cool. This was one of the best sketches.

Fave Lines:
"So when's the last time you guys did that?" AND "Wow, she's getting railed!" -Son
(Also, while writing this on Windows Word, they mistook the sex slang "railed"...with another sex slang "nailed".

Good one, Word. Laugh of the week for me!)
"You know she has dark nipples for a white girl." AND "We are FARmers! Bum-didi-bumbum-bumbumbum!" -Jim
"So. Rubbers are rad, huh?" -Patty (her husband and son's reactions to this too)
The line the son says later about how hot his parents were and referencing Back to the Future. DAMN.
--
"Pick-Up Artist"
At a bar, four women are in training to become perfect pick-up artists. Things go as well as you expect as only one of them fails her teachings in the correct way.

This sketch was just hilarious. And it was all McCarthy's doing. Her creepy wannabe character stole the whole thing. I swear I couldn't stop laughing at her molesting KyMoo's character. (I feel sorry for him)
Also, while I didn't notice it live (I was in bed still reeling from Kanye), a few people pointed out on YT that Leslie broke character. I will agree that it was distracting and stopped the sketch from being funnier, but I just avoid it, and I found it hilarious nonetheless.
OTHO, the unsung hero of this was Vanessa. While almost everyone cracked a bit or straight-up broke, Nessa B kept it cool throughout the whole thing. While the guys (except Kenan, although he prob. Script-laughed) did well too, they only appeared in pieces. She was the hidden gem of the skit.
This was another great one.
--
In "Bus", a white woman wants to be nice and talk about Roots to a black woman sitting next to her. Things go as well as you would expect.

This was a strange sketch. Really strange.
It went from innocently racist humor sadly reminiscent of Rosa Parks to a dumbass reference to Speed. Except the passengers don't survive. There were some really funny lines from McCarthy's white woman passenger ("If this is Roots, which one is ?uestlove?"). And for that, this was one of the better skits.
--
And finally, Whiskers 'R We returns yet again. This time meow-ster of ceremonies Barbara DeDrew is joined by a good...friend.

---

It's time for the Pre-Tapes! And Oh, my God--"The Day Beyoncé Turned Black" is fucking hilarious!!

This is one of the best, most funniest and most genius Pre-Tapes this season.
This cleverly satires the reactions of white people who watched the music video of Beyoncé's latest song "Formation", in which she mentions her roots as an African American woman with her parents' heritage and that she'll never forget where she came from. While everyone was excited to see our Queen's reappearance to music, others (whites) weren't so hot about her return, namely the video which contains real-life issues, specifically the Black Lives Matter movement. Some people (who, again, are white) didn't like the parts of the clip where white police officers "surrender" to a young black boy, the piece of a local tagged "Stop shooting us" and Bey sitting on top of a cop car, which later submerges under flood water at the end. Then came her Super Bowl Halftime Show performance. They didn't like it and cried foul, especially Tomi Lahren from Glenn Beck's The Blaze, Andrew Breitbart and any other host on Fox News. But it was clear that their criticisms were not only for naught, but also are very misinformed and embarrassing. Check out Lahren's attack in particular on YouTube and you'll see why.
Speaking of YouTube, if you ever look under the comments of the clip, you'll see some people still don't like it or get the satire of it. Funnily enough, they're white, but anyway...

I'm glad this came about to put the dumb white crybabies' whines in the spotlight and show how misinformed they really are. It's discerning and even pathetic that people like them just won't realize the real dangers and issues in front of them involving blacks and other ethnicities in this country, and just choose to ignore it, or even show their true colors when trying to give their own responses on this.
Oh, on the skit itself, it's balls-out hilarious. The satire is accurate on the subject, the humor hits the nail on the head, and the reactions by the blacks in the crossfire is perfect and also accurate.
The aspect of it being a movie trailer wasn't needed though; take that out, and it's the same thing, but apples to oranges, it's still brilliant either way. I LOVED this one.

"Honey?! [...] Beyonce...is Black!" - Wife (Aidy Bryant)
"Hot sauce in my bag/swag?? What does that mean!?" -Man (Beck Bennett)
"Maybe...this song isn't for us." -Other Man (Bobby Moynihan) /
"But usually everything is!!" -Other Woman (Cecily Strong)
...
"But what about The Pink Panther movie!?" -Another Woman (Kate McK)
"Okay, yeah, she was white in that." -Black Man (Kenan)
…
"What's goin' on out there?" -Black Man #2 (Jay Pharaoh)
"New Beyonce Video." -Black Man #3 (Michael Che)
(why is he still a featured member again?)
"Ohhhhh."
…
"Karen! That is MY daughter." -Black Woman (Leslie Jones)
"Oh, that's right. Thank God." -Karen
"Thank God?? Really!?"
--
There's also one where Kyle Mooney tried to challenge Kanye to a freestyle battle, but that was predictable (although that was the joke), and Kanye pretty much savagely killed Kyle.

Poor guy; never stood a chance.

Dammit, pretty much all of them.

---


Oh Kanye West. Sweet, sweet Kanye West.
You never stop finding ways of making us hate you:
ruining Taylor Swift's moment at the 2009 VMA's, almost ruining (and then spectacularly ruining) Beck's moment at the 2015 Grammys, by saying that Beyoncé is "the - of artistry" and that major award organizations should give major awards to her, the marriage to Kim Kardashian, the album Yeezus, that interview with BBC Radio 1 where you probably pissed off our Lord and Savior and everyone who believes is Him (again) saying that you are a god, and this recent single where you said you might have sex with Swift and that you called her a bitch, proclaiming that you could've made her famous (there is so much wrong with that one). And the creepy part about all of this is? All of this somehow is tied to Taylor Swift and Beyoncé (is he ... infatuated with her? Is he in love with her? He does know she's married to his mentor and best friend?)

There's always a moment where you make yourself the biggest douche in the world. Sometimes I think it all has to be an act to keep in relevant in the public eye, whether we like it or not. Or maybe this has something to do with the passing of his mother?
(If so, I really feel sorry for him.) But I just get too annoyed with him to continue thinking that.

Wait, what was I talking about? ...
Oh yeah, his SNL performance. Greeeaaat. So even more crap.

Oh wow, that first performance. That was shit.
I don't think I've felt more white people feel uncomfortable about a black performer performing nothing about the dark undertones of black history since Beyoncé released the "Formation" video(--dammit!). But if anything, I don't blame them.
The performance, contained a multitude of the F-word AND the N-word. When I was watching live, I honestly thought I was the only one hearing it. It's like it's the BET Awards but no one bothered to sloppily press the Censor button. I swore I was the only delusional nut thinking all that. But as it turns out, according to an article on Fuse.tv, everyone watching the performance heard the Multitude of Swears. And for that I ask...WHY, LORNE? WHY?? Why did this performance go uncensored? Did Kanye pay you, the producers, everyone on set, and the execs at NBC to let you perform this? If so that explains why he's $53 million in debt. But that's still no excuse! Also it's no excuse for him to suck so bad here.
On the upside, Kelly Price makes her first TV appearance in years (at least to me) and performing music in a long time (again, at least to me) during both songs.
And she was fantastic.
Her vocals were truly amazing, and proves that she was and still is one of the best R&B performers of all time. Also, The-Dream was another singer in both performances (I haven't seen him in the music scene in a long time also, although that's for the better). He did really good.

Speaking of fantastic, Chance the Rapper made a surprise return (why I said surprise because I haven't listened to The Life of Pablo--and after this, I don't think I will) to Studio 8H, performing his verse in "Ultra Beam Lights", which was FIRE.
And Kirk Franklin, El DeBarge, Young Thug and A$AP Bari also appeared in the live set. But I wouldn't be surprised if you all haven't the slightest clue who almost none of them all. And yet in the end, Yeezy himself steals the lime...light (heh)...from everyone else by being a delusional ass pretending he's still as holier-than-thou as the man Himself. Showmanship at its best.

And if that all wasn't enough to make your head roll like Reagan in The Exorcist, let's get to the songs themselves.
"Highlights" is just garbage.
At first, I thought the VO of this woman was Beyoncé--driving home his little "crush", then some of the worst lyrics of his career.
GoPro rhyming with Go Pro (the spacing matters here)? Fuckin'. Genius!
Then he drives home his bragging about bagging Kim K as his wife, by dogging Ray J. Of course, he's not rich, but is it worth shitting on each other when you two are fighting over a reality show ho nobody nobody likes, and it makes you two look like dumbassholes?
"Ultralight Beams" is just blasphemous.
It's about how he's like Jesus after his crucifixion. It has a great slow beat, and a wonderful choir performing with a "gives me life" vibe almost nothing else can duplicate. I freaking love Kelly Price's vocals and the verse by Chance the Rapper. I liked this song better than the other one.

If it wasn't for Price, The-Dream, DeBarge, Chance, Kirk Franklin or even Young Thug, this would've been an absolute fucking waste of time. Granted, anything with Young Thug is a fucking waste of time, but still.

Say what you will about Kanye being an asshole in real life (I mean, sure, go ahead-it's true), but like it or not, he does make some damn good music (These two songs are not). There's a reason he's still called a genius. And a dick, but a genius too.

Time for an Update:
Part 1:

Part 2:

Skipping Jost & Che's performance, since we know what they're like now, I really enjoyed the joint-joke on Donald Tramp's incessant interruptions of his fellow candidates at the Republican debate.

Leslie Jones returned yet again to verbally molest Colin and then give a story on her love life. Again. But hey, Valentine's Day!

This was pretty funny. Still some one-note elements thrown in to not make it hilarious, though.

Wraparound:
Melissa McCarthy was a great host previously, and is still a great host here. But the writing tries so hard to hilarious to her strengths. Half of the time...it works. But I got really annoyed with some of the jokes because of that, and it fails.

I hope to see her again next season or in another couple years, and then she will make the Five-Timers club, and there will be a celebration.

ConcluSLoN:
This episode was funny, but not really memorable. I wish another artist was performing and this would go higher in my list of favorite episodes. And I blame Kanye for that. And a lot of other things.

Well, it's probably gonna come after this comes, but in a few hours my review of Episode 14 is released, hosted by another four-time host (who probably also appeared at the 40th Anniversary Show) Jonah Hill, with music from Future, an artist I hate. Boy, this oughta be good!!
See you soon.

SNL 41 Review: Episode 12 -- Larry David & The 1975

Larry David is a rude old curmudgeon. And we love him for that.
When he appeared during this season as Democratic presidential nominee Bernie Sanders, he pretty much not only fit the bill in every way (looks, voice, behavior and mannerisms), he blew us all away. He became one of the highlights of the season as Sanders.

--

The CO features nothing but Fred--uhh, Ted Cruz, despite being an unlikable, uninteresting, strange-looking creature, bragging about his recent success in the thing I shouldn't want to type anymore.

While this wasn't the best CO, this was still pretty funny and very enjoyable.
Taran Killam was still as great as ever as Cruz, laying on even more talent and charm into and out of the impression. So this was his funniest moment since "I have what doctors call a punchable face." Also, Kate McKinnon was just as (if not more) hilarious playing Cruz's daughter. All she did was come in with this weird, stilted-looking face and say "No." in a quick enunciation, of course as she wants to leave.
This was a really good start to a very damn great episode. (As if you thought it wasn't).

--

Larry came to the main set for his Monologue, and felt he had to talk about his life.
And...it's not really good.

It was very good (the Mono, not Larry's life; that sounds pathetic--and that's coming from ME). It was laugh-a-minute and very enjoyable as well. He kept us on our funny bones and never stopped until he mentioned The 1975. This was one of the best Mono's of this season.

--

And now to this week's sketches-which were [SPOLERS!] fucking gut-busting.
Starting with...

"FBI Simulator"
ALL HAIL KEVIN ROBERTS!

I'll start with a couple minor cons:
The timing felt off at times (but that's thanks to Live thing) and the acting at the start from Cecily and the cast playing the potential FBI operatives was pretty stilted (again, the Live thing), but it does give some really funny moments.

But the best parts came from the simulations. My god, that was side-splitting. The biggest laughs--of course--came from Larry David as Kevin Roberts. He clearly didn't sound like the regular schmutz who came out on stage earlier. It's someone spiked sugar and enthusiasm into his drink. And it helped a lot. It's clear that his part in the sketch has become the most meme'd part of the entire show all throughout the following week, and it has to be. That was fucking hilarious! (He needs to come back sometime. If he can appear as Bernie Sanders, he should appear again as Kevin Roberts
Also, I feel sorry for the female plant standing behind Kenan and Cecily. She was just dominated by everyone else. But it's all good. She's a (probably a writer) plant on SNL! Good for her.
Best Sketch of the Week. Hands. Down.

Fave Lines:
Simulations-
"I'M HIGH ON BATH SALTS!" -Old Female Threat (Leslie Jones)
…
"I'm Kevin Roberts, and I'm the coolest bitch in town!" AND
"I'm Kevin Roberts! And I got a very important question: Can a bitch get a doughnut?!"
AND "I just reached second base!...with a lady."-Kevin Roberts
"Have you seen my friend Kevin Roberts? Cause I got that bitch a doughnut!" -Friend of Kevin Roberts (Bobby Moynihan)
--
Trainees-
"I couldn't get a read on the man in a neon suit, holding a big ol' cell phone claiming to be the biggest bitch in town." AND "In my defense, I'm pretty confident that type of man does not exist in reality." AND "Why does Kevin Roberts have friends and a storyline!?" -O'Healy
"Did that guy just say 'Can a bitch get a donut?'" -Other Trainee (Pete Dave)
"Kevin Roberts got in my head." -O'Healy
Kevin Roberts got in all of our heads, dude. And we don't want him to leave.
--
A "Steam Ship" is about to go overboard...but one of the passengers has a problem with the format of the emergency escape plan.

This was pretty bare at the start. You can tell the guy had a problem with the escape plan from the moment you see David start talking. It was funny, yes, but it still wasn't memorable.
Then Bernie Sanders comes in. As ecstatic as it was to see him in the sketch (and this episode), it felt anti-climatic--thanks to both the hindsight from watching David's impression of Sanders during this season so far and the official announcement from his campaign team. He was great.
Some of the jokes were great satirical references to the policies he's mentioned during his campaign.
Seeing the actor and the real deal in the same place was certainly a bright spot.
I don't think this was the Best Sketch (obviously), but I really still enjoyed it.
--
At a "Songwriting Class", five potential singer-songwriters get lessons and advice from their teacher. One of them gives some...interesting choices in rhymes.

There isn't much to love about this. Or even like. Most of the jokes came from David as Russ, but they weren't laugh-out-loud great. Because they have little to say, the other cast members weren't really needed. At least one of them wouldn't have been written in, and nothing much would've changed.
This is definitely the Worst Sketch this week.

Fave Lines:
"In the creek, I see a frog/
Watch as he leaps, over a--" -Jason
"Frog house"
and
"Tall FROG BuilDING"
...
"Buzz, buzz, look up in the trees/
Uh-oh, it's a swarm of--"
"Frogs in tiny helicopters"
and
"The Rise of the Toads!"
--
Peyton Manning and Cam Newton have a special message for their fans hours before their storied rivalry at Super Bowl 50.

Wow, these two let themselves go.

Seriously, producers. Don't you have two skinny black guys in your cast to play Newton?? Hell, even the adolescent is a much better choice. Hell, even Sasheer Zamata is better!
I'm sorry, but that's the only gripe I have here.
The rest of this was really funny.
--
Finally here, a night at a bar turns into some smooches. Some disgusting, nauseating, truly-not-must-see-TV smooches.

I always loved this sketch, but it really feels formulaic (Weird, wasted woman says some dumb things with some drunk guy and then they kiss), but it was creepily brilliant the first time. This version feels like a one-trick pony. But thanks to David, it breathed some new life, which made me happy.

And that blindfold glasses prop is really cool. I so want one.

Fave Lines:
"Hey, Bartender. Give me a Kentucky Nightcap.
That's a Bourbon with a Tylenol PM floating in it." -Ace Chuggins
...
"The seat I'm on is wet, and it is my fault." -Sheila Sorvage
...
"What's your name, sweetie?" -Ace Chuggins
"It's Sheila Sorvage. You can remember that,
because if you mix up the letters, it almost spell Vagisil." -Sheila

...
"You're thinking of a different Ace.
I work as a before model for teeth whitening ads." -Ace
...
"Something is happening here."
"Oh, something is happening."
"Yeah, it's called an outbreak.
And it's time for you Zika viruses mutate on out of here." -Bartender
--
This week's sketches were consistently good and funny. There was one weak spot here, but all else was really good. The cast did great. The most memorable members for me were Kenan (during "FBI Simulator", and "Last Call"), TKill (for his Ted Cruz performance in the CO), Moyni and K
---

Now on to this week's Pre-Tapes, both of which show just how much a cynical and unreasonable grump David really is...again.
First off, "Bern Your Enthusiasm".

Bern Your Enthusiasm
Larry David stars as Bernie Sanders in "Bern Your Enthusiasm."
Posted by Saturday Night Live on Sunday, February 7, 2016

This spoof of David's own beloved HBO series "Curb Your Enthusiasm" centers on his impression of Sanders at a rally in Iowa (seriously should've been New Hampshire, but hey, meh), where he faces some potential voters who don't have time for his honesty (because he doesn't have time for their crap).

I've never watched CYE very much (mostly because of HBO, but also even during its' very short lived stint in syndication). But I definitely get the gist of this.
Seeing David as Sanders is always a welcome sight, but mixing the latter him with the former's show is genius. Especially because we haven't seen New episodes of CYE in over four years.
--

This week's musical guest is The 1975, a British alternative band who...does things that make them popular, apparently. Seriously, I don't know much about them, other than their name, which sounds like a name they thought up during their formation when they got high on uppers and decided to stick with it because years in a name are good enough for originality and hipster-ality. Meh.
Anyway, they were pretty awesome.

I like their sound—clearly modern alternative rock with splashes of retro rock and new wave thrown in. It's
really relaxing even, as the smooth sounds even calm me down for the time being. Even during the choruses.

The title of their latest album, their second--and I'm not kidding when I'm writing this-- is I Like it When You Sleep, So You Are So Beautiful, Yet So Unaware of It (Huh, charming and creepy), with two songs being performed here--"Love Me" and "The Sound"--being singles from the record.

"The Sound" is everything.
The funk production is brilliant, along with the fun, upbeat, happy vibe from it; the catchy-ness of the chorus (along with a backing choir singing it); and that guitar solo from . All of this make this song great in my mind, and makes me a fan of the band.


Then there's "Love Me", pretty much this decade's "Fame" by the late, ever-so-great David Bowie (at least in production). But according to lead singer Matty Healy, it's something more.

"It came from jamming. We're big Talking Heads fans, big Scritti Politti fans, and Japan as well. "Love Me" was just three years of being on the road and not wanting to soundcheck the same song every night. That riff just happened. "Love Me" sounded bombastic and ridiculous and a bit arrogant and I was like, "That's what it needs to be about. The rock star buying into his own self-constructed mythology." We found ourselves, as a band, being immersed in a world we didn't feel part of. So it's just… love me, if that's what you want to do."

Even though this is the first time I've heard their music, I could actually believe this.

The production is great, with the slick licks of Adam Hann's guitar especially being amazing and catchy, and wraps up the lyrics of cocky-yet-caring self-worth and growth within so perfectly. And Healy's vocals were just as great, as without the backing choir from "The Sound", he can do just as badass on his own. I love this performance as well.


These performances were awesome. Lead singer Matty Healy was superb; but for me, the unsung hero was lead guitarist Adam Hann and bassist Ross MacDonald, who really pulled me in with their performances on the strings, even with everything else being just as amazing for me. It's really the music from the band that makes me love them.

The 1975's second studio album (*sigh*) I Like It When You Sleep, So You Are So Beautiful, Yet So Unaware of It is available now. I definitely suggest you go get it.
---

DEREK ZOOLANDER WAS ON UPDATE!! *cough* Excuse me.

Time for an Update:
Part 1

Part 2


I loved their "Braking News" jokes on the New Hampshire Republican debate that happened earlier in the evening where Ben Carson wandered aimlessly from the entrance to the area.

Kate McKinnon appeared as Turvy Barbie aka Barb, a discarded model of new version of Mattel's Barbie brand, in which the iconic doll is redesigned to many women's body types to reflect today's women--not just skinny and plastic. She had her thoughts on her being rejected.
This was hilarious. A genius take on the new body type Barbie dolls, McKinnon works the role like she is a Barbie doll--prefect, normal, ready to take on the world, funny and weird. She can do anything as any role, and this rejected Barbie--I mean Barb reflects this.

If you thought Bernie Sanders was the big surprise, you're mistaken. This was.

When I saw them during the goodnights, I was so shocked to see them I dropped my remote, forgetting that they were on Update. That was brilliant.

Best Sketches:
FBI Simulator (ALL HAIL KEVIN ROBERTS!)
Steam Ship
Best Pre-Tape:
Ben Your Enthusiasm

Worst Sketches:
Songwriting Class
dishonorable mention-
Super Bowl Greeting from Cam & Peyton

Wraparound:

ConcluSLoN:
This episode was fucking hilarious and brilliant.

Toony Tuesday 2016: Pig Goat Banana Cricket

Hey, everyone! Today, I'm Toony Tuesday-ing a Nicktoon! ...yay.

When I was a kid, I usually felt overjoyed to spend every weekend watching Nicktoons. Whether at home with my mom and family or spending weekends with my dad, one constant presence was those 30-minute adventures--and misadventures--with our favorite shows: Rugrats, SpongeBob, Rocko's Modern Life, The Angry Beavers, Ren & Stimpy, KaBlam, Fairly OddParents, Jimmy Neutron, ChalkZone, Avatar: The Last Airbender--and a few others during Nick's Golden and Silver Eras. They were all perfect viewings for me and my siblings during childhood, and can still great views on TeenNick during The Splat--uhh, NickSplat (sigh).
Hell, even the name Nicktoons was something special. It's as if it's something special and completely different from other networks' animated offerings.
"It's not cartoons, it's Nicktoons."
Geddit?? Because...it's like HBO?? You know..."It's not TV"? And both are different entities??? *cough* Anyway...

Nowadays, Nickelodeon has become a very crap network with original shows (both animated AND live-action) that are just obnoxiously unfunny, horrifying terrible and yet discerningly popular. Almost none of the shows on the channel have anything of value, worth, quality and watchability. And yet millions watch them.

Now, don't get me wrong: Nick also has some really awesome Nicktoons today, too. Harvey Beaks, The Legend of Korra, Kung Fu Panda: Legends of Awesomeness, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, and a few others I can't remember--because I really don't watch the network anymore--are examples of Nick still having faith in themselves to air more-than-decent cartoons, and us having enough faith in them for making such programs.
This one I'm discussing today isn't one of them. ...I think.

It's Pig Goat Banana Cricket. (...why?)



This series, which premiered on July 18, 2015, created by Dave Cooper and Johnny Ryan, is based on a comic published by Nickelodeon Magazine (remember that? good times.) and developed from a short clip by animator Nick Cross on YouTube from 2012 -- called Pig Goat Banana Mantis!

(I don't know which animation is more attrocious--
PGBCricket or PGBMantis? It's more or less a tossup for me.)

Now, the reason for the difference between names is because, after it got picked up by Nick, the name had to be changed--along with the fourth-in-line character. That's thanks to another character on another Nicktoon that has the same name (and species): Mantis from the aforementioned Kung Fu Panda: Legends of Awesomeness. So the name (and species) was changed to Cricket.
It's pathetic that Nick continues to go to the Internet for fresh new content. Sure, other networks do it too, as video sites such as YouTube have become perfect places for TV show pilots and short films, in the hopes of a network to take interest and pick it up for something more.
But when Nick does it, it's absolutely fucking shameless.
AwesomenessTV, ReactToThat and Breadwinners are perfect examples.
But...does it matter?



This show is kinda gross.
The animation is disgusting.
The title sequence alone had me coming close to upchucking. There's always close-ups that are insanely gross, and--well, every almost every shot is kinda gross. Even when nothing gross is happening, despite being intentional, it still looks sloppy and unappealing. One of the main culprits of this is anything that comes out of your head--snot and pus, along with other gross things that can come out of you. Understandably, this can have appeal to anyone. I'm not usually one of them, so I'll give it a little pass.

The characters are questionable (I guess in a good way)
-Pig is an idiot with an obsession with pickles
-Goat is a sweet and cheerful singing hopeful...and is also probably bipolar
-Banana is an asshole with a love for video games and food, and
-Cricket is a crazy good mad scientist...and target for bullcrap
The worst of the bunch is Pig. I hate slow-minded characters and he is one of them. He's not as bad as other dumb Nick characters like Cosmo and Patrick (remember-they're the worst), but I still can't stand his failure to grasp basic thought and cognitive speech.
And one thing I can't stand about Cricket is that he's the show's Chew Toy. he gets treated like crap a lot, and is the basis for jokes like this. It's annoying and serves no purpose. I can take a few Butt Monkey jokes in a show--maybe even enjoy them. But seeing either so many little jokes or a few big ones in every episode (maybe even one) is enough to piss me off. Even if I hate a character, that is too much to deserve this treatment.
While I don't love these characters (I damn sure don't identify with them either), I actually don't hate them either. While they have tics that will get on my nerves, there is something that still draws me to them.
It has to be the actors voicing them--
Matt L. Jones as Pig
Candi Milo as Goat
Thomas F. Wilson as Banana
and Paul Rugg as Cricket
--that make me like them more than I thought. Yeah, that's it. Well, one of them.
These actors really bring these characters to life, and give them a lot of personality, even if a couple layers of them don't well with me. This has to be one of my favorite elements of this series. So it doesn't surprise me much that the voice of Dexter, Snap and Madame Foster; that guy from Mom and the voice of Hector; Biff Tannen himself; and the voice of frickin' Freakazoid! make up one of the series' best parts.

The humor is, of course, Nick's specialty: pathetic idiotic humor that caters to the lowest common denominator with toilet jokes, shock jokes, unneeded violence, crap past the radar, and idiotic behavior abound. You know...for kids. Obviously, I can't stand humor like this, as it will make me lose a few IQ points every minute I keep watching shit like this. But sadly, this is what gets Nick over these days in reasons of popularity and monetary. So you'll be seeing a lot of this in a lot of its shows--this one included.

Somehow, despite the many examples of gross humor displayed here, this is actually kinda tame. Sure, it comes at you--and you will experience a degree of nausea, but sometimes, it doesn't make me groan. All I can do is react with a little indifference and groan a little. Don't know why, but that's all I get from it. And it's kinda scary.

Another thing I kinda really like about Pig Goat Banana Cricket (ugh) is this little format style each and every episode. Each of the four titular main characters get an act of each episode to him/her-self, bookmarked by one of their names popping up in an graphic frame--with the name shouted by a random group of kids as heard in the title sequence. Also--like shows like Fosters, Gravity Falls and both Avatar series--each episode follows one story, instead of two in a two-shorts format.
I really like this, as I've never seen something like this in animation before, and is utilized very well. So much so, it makes me wonder why I'm still into this series when I should hate it like everyone else.
And speaking of not really hating it when I should, the humor isn't that baseless either. I don't rage as much as I do with any joke by Cosmo or Mikey from TMNT or any other character from The Sponge, and I do find some jokes funny.

Also, despite the tics of each character that might annoy me, all of the titular characters aren't really annoying themselves most of the time. They're actually better-written than most characters on some other Nicktoons.


In short...Pig Goat Banana Cricket isn't that bad of a Nicktoon. It's obnoxiously disgusting and it's pretty irritating too. ...And at times, pretty good and funny. It's not as bad as most people make it out to be. And that's it.
So...if you want, to curb your interest, please check it out. And if you still don't like it, that's fine. It's not a great Nicktoon, but in my opinion, it's one of the better Nicktoons of the decade on the negative side of the spectrum.

Thanks a lot guys, for checking out another Surprise Review.
I'm Andrew, and I'll see you again soon.