Kimye Goes "North" for Baby's Stupid Name

Guttentag, everyone.

Last week, Kim Kardashian and Kanye West gave birth to their first (and probably last) child, a girl, a month early. A;though she is healthy, she was born premature from labor pains Kim has suffered during the pregnancy. Now more of the baby's information has been released, mainly her name. As reported by TMZ, the name Kim and Kanye have given for the baby girl is...get ready...here it comes...her name is...North. That's right. The girl's name is North.

What. The. Serious. F#!&?

Of all the names they could've have given the baby, why did they gave her North? What kind of "intellectual" thoughts have been running in Kanye's head that would lead to that name? And what thoughts were in Kim's head at all? I'm sorry, but this is a stupid name baby, let alone for a girl. Even if it were a boy, it's still stupid. This name might seem creative for some, but not for me. And I've seen girls name more ghetto than this, and even they make sense.

What makes this rumor stem is from those jokes from Late-Night talk show hosts and people on Twitter about what name the baby might have. Whether it starts with a K or a direction. They even made jokes about the girl's butt and how big it would be, coming from a mother with an ass as big as a Whopper and father who likes to chase said asses as big as a Whopper. And of course, as you have guessed, I really didn't care; I just laughed. But why am I talking about it anyway, you asked? Because I wanted to say how stupid this name is and that people who will actually comment and say that it's not and that I'm just "hating" on them are either in denial or looking for attention and are also stupid.

I'm hoping this isn't some kind of theme going on. My family has a theme of names that start with A, my name Andrew included. Names by the letter A are clever. Names by directions aren't that clever. But if you still want to go that direc--no--way, then a better name for sweet baby "North" should be "Easton". Yes, it's a direction name and it's still a girl, but at least it's a real name. The only way I'd find North is on a compass, street sign, or on a poster for "North by Northwest". Speaking of "North by Northwest", this tweet by BET was hilarious.

movie buffs will know how this relates to #kimye pic.twitter.com/D4l2XvDS7I

— BET (@BET) June 21, 2013

And if you want to add "North" into the mix, try "Easton North West", or even "Easton Northby North West" (Northby pronounced North-BEE or North-BY, whatever). Kim and Kanye, I hope this report isn't true and that "North" isn't the baby name. I rarely care about you two or the money-grabbing, attention-hungry, always-annoying Kardashian clan.


(By the way, Kim, congrats on your mom Kris' talk show coming in July. I wish her good luck...or not.)
But anyway, nice try Kimye (I really hate this mashed name), you two aren't fooling anyone. Especially me. Alright, I've had enough. If you like or hate the Kimye baby's name, or have any thoughts on it, please say so in the comments section below or on Twitter. I'll see ya later.