Schoolhouse Rock! : Part 1 - Multiplication Rock | Andrew’s Funshine All-Star Superstar Supercade Saturday! ...Show '73

Hi, everyone! I'm Andrew and

today, I’m taking you to School!

Get ready, Kids. It’s time to Rock... Schoolhouse Rock!

Debuting on ABC (which coincidentally you’d learn about in school) on January 6, 1973, Schoolhouse Rock! had one mission: to teach young viewers about everything they’d learn in school in a colorful, musical way. And boy did it succeed. Including with me.

When I was a kid, I always looked forward to school, doing the work, hanging with my friends (yes, I had some), and enjoying whenever we had fun in class. Then when it's to go back home, doing my homework and watching the news and Jeopardy!. Yep... I was a geek. But one of the biggest joys of my life was watching cartoons during the day, The Simpsons reruns every night, and -- every week alongside all the other animated hits on One Saturday Morning on ABC -- Schoolhouse Rock!. Despite being almost three decades old, I loved everything about it and had the featured segment in the center of my mind soon after it aired. Like many people across generations starting with the one, SHR! was a cartoon that I cherished watching as a kid and now holds much more love and respect for it as an adult.

Now, we’ll begin our course with some math. What do you get when you take a times table, multiply by some superb singing, multiply by catchy compositions and choruses, multiply by adorable animation and memorable music? You get… Multiplication Rock!

In the first season, viewers learned about the multiplication table, with each song - all of which music and lyrics written (and mostly performed [except where mentioned]) by Bob Dorough - centering on each number between 0 and 12 (with the exception of 1 & 10, which does appear in several songs).

“Three is a Magic Number” [animation and designs by Focus Design/Tom Yohe]: 

This sweet and mellow ditty features the lines based around people, things and entities in groups of three.

I love the beat -- which starts off slow and mellow (with the sweet use of xylophone[?]), then quickly picks up with percussion, bass and harmony with the backup vocalists. 

There’s also another version of the song that appeared in the first episode of Curiosity Shop (which also aired on ABC in 1971) with an extra verse and round of the chorus (at 27:49). Here it is for your viewing pleasure:

For favorite funnys: I love the the disasters the magician went threw, when he got stampeded by the football team, the giant with the #30 jersey, the three kids on unicycles colliding to make a 

“My Hero Zero”: Who knew the number 0 has equal importance? This song teaches us about the Powers of 10 -- that adding a zero to a singular number creates a bigger, stronger number -- one = X0, two = X00, three = X,000, four = X0,000, etc.

“Elementary, My Dear” [Phil Kimmelman & Associates/Jack Sidebotham]: 

You know the story of Noah’s Ark. But did you ever wonder why he wanted his animal friends by two? Well, this next ditty tells you a version of it involving the number of animals that lived and procreated in  . I love that they made the story as child-friendly as possible while keeping in the most important elements -- the ark itself, the rainstorm, the many animals going in two by two, and . I also love that the title is a reference to the catchphrase of Sherlock Holmes (“Elementary, My Dear Watson”). Oh yeah, and there’s a consistent gag throughout that features animals coming down the ark ramp in vehicles or with signs that weren’t yet invented like go-karts, rickshaws, etc. There’s also a brilliant way to solve multiple-digit multiplication problems by breaking down the number by placements and adding up the sub-solutions for one ultimate solution.

“The Four-Legged Zoo” [PK&A/Bob Eggers]: 

We're going to the zoo. And then, we're gonna see some animals.

Having a chorus of kids is a brilliant choice -- they genuinely sound like they're having fun singing and singing about seeing animals at the zoo, and Dorough's vocals work very well. And they sound adorable. The music and lyrics are charmingly quirky, and the animation doubly so -- those animals and settings look realistic yet colorful and adorable. Also, the reference to Cinderella was funny and well-used.

“Ready or Not, Here I Come” [PK&A/Tom Yohe]:  

A big guy and his little friends are playing hide-and-seek at a farmland and he wants to count by fives.

For starters, I love Dorough’s “down-home country-like” voice as the big guy; it has a laid-back, chill and fun vibe to it. The music’s fast pace and Dorough’s vocals really drives home the counting by fives. The animation (by PK&A and Yohe) of the numbers is fantastic, especially when a number appears within the 0 of a previous number. Also, counting by fives with your fingers and toes (with each five represented by a finger/toe) is a nifty trick.

“I Got Six” (performed by Grady Tate) [PK&A/Yohe]:

In this next segment, we meet people (starting with one person, then with increasing numbers) buying or owning things 

This episode has one of my favorite beats and of them all: a funk/soul blend and the quick-yet-smooth pace and vocals from Tate and the female backup singers gives me that makes me groove like I’m on Soul Train.

There’s a moment I didn’t like: during one moment with the prince with six rings on each finger, he’s revealed to have a harem of 11 wives, with each wife bearing a harem of six babies. That has to be a stereotype of foreign people if I’ve ever seen one; too bad it’s true. What keeps me from outright despising it is the fact that the harems are tied to the point of the song.

“Lucky Seven Sampson” [PK&A/Rowland B. Wilson]:

Meet Lucky Seven Sampson,  a rabbit who roams and rollicks ‘round . He also is very lucky, having good things come his way (while others in his path get some kind of environmental misfortune). He also turns other numbers up by 7.

I love and enjoy the country/folk music and vibe, and the animation looks lovely (especially LSS himself). Dorough’s voice works for LSS as well, and he has quite a nuanced range from the other songs he sings. The way he sings "STAAAAAR" is both amazing and hilarious. Also hilarious is his antics to benefit himself and hinder the men he comes across -- making a mess of a proprietor's fruit stand, snatching a guy's seven-scoop ice cream (while still singing, somehow) and swiping a construction worker's lunch. I guess the lucky thing about him is that he can do anything against humans and get away with it. Seems like a dream.

“Figure Eight” (performed by Blossom Dearie) [PK&A/Yohe]:

On a winter’s day at a schoolhouse, a girl pictures herself as a prima figure skater on the icy pond nearby.

I personally like this song the least because of its soft, sad piano-based sound and tone that reminds me of such music in drama (and a few horror and thriller) movies of the early decade. I did like when the beat and tone shifts halfway and at the end to a different, stronger and more chipper key. While its singer Dearie has a beautiful voice (she also reminds me of the voice of Didi Conn from Benson and Shining Time Station) -- and she did great here with a sweet, daydream-y like performance, I don’t think this is my favorite song (both involving her and otherwise. The animation does make it a bit better with it’s smooth “kid skating'' movements and the cute representations of the table problems (fish, balloons, Keystone Kops. marathon skater, polar bear on a pole, etc.)

Also - sidenote: The intro would be used for SHR!’s first, more forgotten intro.

“Naughty Number Nine” (performed by Grady Tate) [PK&A/Yohe]:

In this segment, a suited fat cat with just as big an infatuation with the number 9 as Trent from Total Drama is at the local billiard hall shooting some serious pool -- with a white mouse he pocketed used as the cue ball. 

Another brilliant tool found here is this: If you replace the 9 in a problem with a 10 for a different solution, and then subtract the solution with the number you multiplied by 10,  you get the solution to a number you multiplied by 9.

I adore the production: a slow-burn soul/R&B groove that makes you think it was birthed by Marvin Gaye or Isaac Hayes or Barry White (but you know… kid-friendly). I also found the fact that the fat cat playing pool and the mouse’s antics to survive the game hilarious.

No song for 10 (for obvious reasons -- it’s why we have “My Hero Zero”), so moving on to…

“The Good Eleven” [Focus/J. Side.]:

It’s like a little angel flying into your life to make it twice as good. Or like the Doublemint twins doubling your pleasure and fun. Or like when Tia and Tamera meet for the first time and realize they have the other’s face. You see, when you multiply by 11, you'll see double -- and feeling a lot more.

The production and vocals have a fast yet smooth pace to them that I like, and I also like the town and nuanced animation style -- with fewer, colder colors and simpler, bolder designs, which puts stronger focus on the topic at hand. It’s also low on my rankings (may be just over  even lower than “Figure Eight” depending on when you ask me), but it’s still pretty good.

“Little Twelvetoes” [PK&A/RB.W]

Finally, it’s him! Little Twelvetoes, an alien from another planet with a fascinating trait -- he has twelve fingers and toes. And even more fascinating -- he has a detachable body, with every limb and appendage expanding, separating and contracting at will. You see, this purpose of him though is to teach the viewers about the duodecimal system aka the base twelve (or [much less often] the dozenal or the uncial) -- a positional notation numeral system using 12 as its base. As such, two flipped symbols are formed and put in the place of 10 and 11 (↊/dec and ↋/el, resp.) with 10 taking the place of 12 and named doe. And here to represent that is Little Twelvetoes.

I personally believe “Little Twelvetoes” is one of my top favorite Multiplication Rock songs (if not); and maybe even one of my favorite songs from all of Schoolhouse Rock!. The piano-driven music -- with deep hits of electric guitar and bass -- may be repetitive, but it’s very well-done, fits the quirky, ethereal tone and unique subject, and is as memorable as the best of them (and to me, it really is one of the best). Dorough is at his best (tied with “Ready or Not, Here I Come”) as he gives a smooth, crystal-clear jazz-like spoken-word performance in most of the song, and it holds me close to really give the subject attention, and is still on target when he softly and coolly sings both the table-based bridge and the chorus (with both bonus points for elongating the “sss” in the title and they way he sings “Please Come Back Home”).

The animation is par with all the other segments, but what I love about it is that it takes place at night, features a randomly-placed constellational pinball machine, and has an adorable (yet creepy-looking to some people) protagonist with a pop-up body that teaches us a new way to do math. What's not to love?

I have said I liked “Figure Eight” the least because of its solemn, melancholy composition, and this one may sound a bit similar in tone, but the reason I like “Twelvetoes” way, way more because it has a faster, stronger, tighter pace and edge that’s better on the ears than the former. Yes, it does make me sad as it ends; not because of its fading ending, but because it…ends.

And this here is the end of Multiplication Rock! -- part one of my review of Schoolhouse Rock! Thank you for checking in. I'll be back soon with Part 2, where we will expand our English and the way we speak and write when we learn about Grammar Rock!

I'm Andrew, and Knowledge is Power!

Reflection: 10 Year Anniversary MMost

"Hello ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, hipsters and hackers of the world. My name is Andrew and I welcome you to a new blog Maroon Mondays. Here I bring you all opinions of all I have opinions of. Pop culture, world news, my life and the occasional talk about why everything isn't up roses for me (it may never will). Also I can accept your opinion on topics and my blog itself (as long as you can spell and not type like a borderline psycho.) I'll be ready for anything and will not hold back anything. I hope you will too."

And with this post, a new blog was born.

Hello, everyone. Its me, Andrew. And yes, this new blog is still here, alive and kicking, ten years later. Welcome back to Maroon Mondays.

Okay so, usually when a media concept or the like reaches a certain milestone in their history, they make a post revealing their origin story, and so here I am to take part in it. And honestly, it's not much of a story to tell about anything, let alone how I began a website.

So, 2012. I've graduated from high school, I didn't go to college -- despite a small scholarship and many years of dreaming to attend (or the indoctrination by the previous generations of society and decades of TV show parents demanding their kids go and won't settle for anything else -- whichever one makes the most sense), and couldn't get a job if I tried. So from graduation to Christmas, I had literally nothing to do but wasting the dawn of my adult life on absolutely nothing but sitting on my broke ass and watching TV so I decided to take whatever talents I have and put them into (somewhat) good use.

So one day a few months before launch, I read an article by Deadline about Orange Wednesdays -- a two-for-one movie ticket-based promotion owned by British communications company Orange (later rebranded as EE in 2015). And I loved that name so much that I decided to name a blog based on it...'s naming convention. And that's where Maroon Mondays was born. (Also, the fact that this name highly similar to the program of the University of is strictly and highly a coincidence. My apologies to them.)

On December 21, 2012 Maroon Mondays launched (although the first post (my review of the newest incarnation of 106 & Park was published on January 13, 2013). When I began Maroon Mondays, I had absolutely no idea about how to run a blog what I'd like to cover. TV, music, headline news, opinion, etc.; my writing style and humor were a mess that I had to improve on my own as time went on; I was just making things up as I go, and threw whatever I could at the wall and whatever stuck was what you read (punctuation and proofreading be damned). As time passes, I would reach my focus and drive, finding my niche in opinion pieces about the big news stories (with Serious Post) and reviewing TV shows -- short-lived (with One Season Wonder) and animated (with Andrew's Animation Audibles [fka Toony Tuesday and started out as A Surprise Review]). Sometimes, I also review music with Short/Long Music Review. Other segments include Tweeter in My Mouth (where I spotlight famous people posting controversial and ridiculous tweets on Twitter and give my thoughts against them), and Andrew's ... Saturday! Show (in which I review Saturday Morning Cartoons [and it will be back between January 6 with my review of Schoolhouse Rock]. I finally found a good voice to amplify with my website, and honestly, it became a lot of fun.

Sometimes, though, it wasn't fun to create new ideas and not see them though. As you all know, sometimes I take time off from the blog (sometimes for a few months; sometimes for much longer) and not announce my absence. Doing it gave me time to recharge, reflect and re-energize, and i font regrets about that. However, I could've just said something brief on Twitter and take my time off, and not doing so is a huge regret. To that, I apologize.

However, what I won't apologize for what I write on this site. What I publish is of my opinion and while I do my absolute best to be open-minded, respectful and inclusive as possible in my posts, I may say something that may not be so. So if you'd like to call me out for such, let me know in the comments section.

Oh and about me? I've since got a great job with great pay and Healthcare, I've gone to therapy to be a better, happier person, , I feel much more comfortable with myself to get out there and out of my shell. I've went to some amazing places (comic-cons, concerts, traveling etc.), much more willing to go out and have fun and let go of whatever that's made me empty inside and embrace my true self.

Other than the time I announced that I'd leave Blogger for WordPress, I'm not going anywhere, and I have things planned for the site next year and beyond. So I'd like to thank everyone who have worked with me on select posts -- Virginia Anne Hubbard (for my collaboration review of season one of Gravity Falls) (I had tons of fun on that hope we can do season two very soon) and Hayden Silverman (on our joint discussion on the Fine Bros. REACT controversy) (He also made the current logo, which still looks fantastic. Thank you for that, dear sir).

And most importantly, I'd like to thank all of you, my loyal and dedicated readers. When I began this site, I didn't expect much and would've appreciated tens of views per post.  However, more and more of you came from the woodwork and found my work worth your time and entertainment. I can't thank you all individually (because you don't want to know who I am behind the computer and I don't know where you've been, and that's okay), but I will say I'm blessed to be a place you can come to for someone else's opinion to agree with or at least be enthused by. Thank you and I love you. 

I'm still ready to post about almost anything and if you're willing to suggest anything to me to discuss, I'm right here.

Fat Albert and the Cosby Kids | Andrew’s Funshine All-Star Superstar Supercade Saturday! ...Show '72

(This review will not discuss the… real life travails of its creator and star. We’re here to just take a look at the show itself. I hope you’re not disappointed.)

Hey. Hey, Hey! It's Fat-Ass Andrew! And I'm write an adequate and somewhat witty and milquetoast review for youuuu!

BET Awards 2022 Nominations: Lil Nas X Was Robbed, Fuck Chris Brown & Other Nonsense

The BET Awards have become a sloppy, uncoordinated mess more and more with each passing year. At least when promotion begins  (their social media is garbage [Facebook features sloppy profile photos that make my creations look like the masterpieces from Klein&,

and its Twitter still has last years promotional photos. 

At least Taraji is hosting again, so idiots wont know much is different] and on Tuesday (May 31) - while watching Celebrity Family Feud, an ad aired stating that it will air "nest Sunday" (whomever was in the control room at the time [whether placing the ads in or lording over the automatic swtches] should be fired like the dumb intern who published the post "while Nicki Minaj got dragged by her lace front" after Cardi B won a Grammy for Invasion of Privacy or some shit) and the nominations still piss me off. 

I'll get to the major music awards later on. But first, some brief beats on everything else.

(looks at other categories) 

Honestly nothing much to rage about. Just some of the same nominees all around in the sports and acting categories, with few newcomers.

For Sports, I wish all the nominees well... but prepare to lose to Serena and LeBron. 

YoungStars Award

black•ish is ending, so why not give Marsai Martin this award for sympathy's sake (and maybe next year too, when her next TV show or movie role pops up just in time).

Acting

Interestingly, the acting categories now add specific projects that the actors are nominated for. I think I like this, because instead of choosing 5 or 6 random popular actors and actresses and calling it a day, the show whatever show or movie (some and like the Razzies). I hope this continues on.

Actor: Will Smith for King Richard (and naybe the film takes Best Movie too... and possibly because BET loves giving black men who put their hands on other people their largest platform)

Actress: Toss Up -- hard to say as all the women shined in their respective roles, but it wouldn't surprise me if JHUD took this one too to go along with Respect taking Best Movie.

Movie

I've seen only Summer of Soul and Space Jam: A New Legacy (don't judge me; the latter was during my summer job at a movie drive-in). But otherwise, not a bad list here. But I expect Respect to take the win because of BET promoting the hell out of at the last two shows and the Jennifer Hudson winning Lead Actress in a Motion Picture at this year's Image Awards. That or King Richard. 

Video Director

I'd laugh my ass off if Beyoncé actually gets this one. Honestly, this category has no reason to exists if musical artists get a nom for doing something the actual directors do with actual experience. Otherwise, I don't mind anyone winning.

And now, the music categories. 

Sure, I have a bias because I really dislike most of the artists featured, and in all my years of watching the BETAs, it's always a cycle of the same artists being gifted the same nominations (whether they dropped new hit music or not). While i should be happy Beyoncé isn't noticed this year, Drake, Nicki Minaj and especially the hobgoblin of popular music Chris Brown are. I'm... used to this.

BET Her Award

I want anyone but Doja Cat winning, but since she's the big flavor of the month (honestly I'm shocked BET was sleeping on her [like the drugged people she assaulted were sleeping on her... allegedly] until now. MTV were slobbering all over her the last two years), I know it's all hers. 

Dr. Bobby Jones Gospel/ Inspiration Award

Marvin Sapp

Fred Hammond 

Kelly Price

Tauren Wells

Elevation Workshop &

Maverick City Music

All such good gospel artists. So why the devil is Lil Baby nominated? Oh right; his song "We Win" features Kirk Franklin. And since they kicked off last years show with it, it won't shock me if they win with "We Win".

Hip-Hip

Male: I don't listen to any of these fucks, so nothing to read here.

Female: I don't listen to any of these fucks either, so nothing to read here.

R&B

I've heard of one dong by Yung Bleu. And honestly, not a best impression. He is a shitty singer and a (barely) tolerable rapper, so why is he nominated for Male R&B/Pop Artist?? And who was the braindead fuck who decided on this? Probably the same braindead fuck(s) who keeps giving Chris fucking Brown a spot in the same category!!

Yes, apparently, it's good to be Chris Brown -- at least when it comes to the BET Awards.

Brown got just one nomination this year - for Best Male R&B/Pop Artist. ONE. I'd be overjoyed for that or if it was for a more lower-tier category, but I haven't heard literally anything from him in the past few years (hit or no) since "Heat", but apparently being Chris Brown was enough for the Voting Academy to give him yet another nomination. And I'd bet everything I own that he'll win yet again, because they don't have the balls to make any of the other, better, highly talented artists who actually deserves it the victor. 

They failed last year - when they should've given it to The Weeknd, Anderson .Paak, Giveon, 6LACK or even Tank (I STILL don't know why they nominated him of all people), and they failed in 2020 - when they should given it to the former two, Khalid or even Usher (but not Jacquees (he ain't all that). But no, they keep seeing him as the total package all other Male singer should aspire with this award. And the funniest part, it wasn't even announced on-air, but they put in online in a statement of winners. It seems even they aren't sure they made the right call. Weeknd should beg the Recording Academy to get back on their good graces, because he has no ally with the BET Awards Voting Academy. But do you know who should join him? Lil Nas X.

The man who birthed us big hits last year with "Montero (Call Me By Your Name" (which he performed last year), "Industry Baby" and "That's What I Want" got no love from the BET Awards this year. And he seemed like a lock too. But for whatever reason (he's gay, they don't accept #1 hits, he's a Pop Artist [despite Pop literally in two category titles], he's not Chris Brown), they just overlook him. And that makes no sense to me. Brown had no true hits on the Hot 100 in the last few years (one even on the Bubbling Under chart) and the R&B chart is slowly but surely rejecting him more and more (he's lucky Indigo hit-- I mean debuted at the top of the Billboard 200 Chart). But BET is still carrying water for him like the native African women at the start of Roots. It's been time to give up on him and go on to the next, but it seems they have no idea how to do that unless he dies or commits a major crime (although if/when he did get released in the latter case, they'd celebrate with a big, hyped performance as if nothing happened like the year following the incident or the year he sang "Loyal". Oh yeah, and he has a new album coming - two days before the show. Expect a performance and him to finally get yet another award on stage. Fuck me sideways with a rusty pipe.

Speaking of being fucked uncomfortably, why the hell is Doja Cat nominated for both female categories?? She sounds more of a rapper than a singer, anyway. It just seems like they're desperate to make up for lost time to catch up to the other awards shows (recently the Billboard Music Awards) by nominating in as many categories as possible to make sure she wins. Clever and idiotic all the same.

Best New Artist

I've only heard Mooney (Muni) Long and Tens (Tems) [via Wizkid"s outta-nowhere smash "Essence"], but I can't see either woman winning. Here's why.

Blung Yeu probably will have a great showing this year. For the past few years, whenever a new(-ish) artist gets noms in both Best New Artist and one of the main categories, there's a great chance they'll win BNA. So my guess is he'll be just like Giveon, Roddy Ricch, Lil Baby, SZA, Chance the Rapper in winning Best New Artist, because it's so damn obvious that any half-brained chode can figure it out, the Voting Academy are so damn easy to read like an open book. 

Album

Certified Lover Boy was a Certified shitgibbon of an album (yet got an Album of the Year nod). Heaux Tales (last year's winner) was a damn great record about the experiences and frailties of the modern woman, but even though great new tracks are added, Mo' Tales: The Deluxe feels like they're cheating. Donda is the best of Ye's works in a long time. And both An Evening with Silk Sonic and H.E.R.'s Back of My Mind are beautifully crafted and performed R&B LPs. But like I mentioned the female categories, the Voting Academy is just screaming out to the high heavens that they are just fixing the show for Doja Cat, so I wouldn't be shocked if Planet Her wins (and puts the actually good albums in its dust- and jizz-covered craters.

Video of the Year 

The narcissistic goober anthem of them all after I'm Too Sexy (which it samples), "Way 2 Sexy" got a Video of the Year nod, and because it's Drake, it'll probably win. That or Planet Her. Because fuck variety. Monotony is the way to go with this awards show.

There is a reason the BET Awards is seen as the most predictable and by-the-numbers awards ceremony in America. The same artists recognized, the same artists awarded. They make their favorites known, and they never even hide their biases. If you have a favorite artist, 50-50 chance they'll win it big or go home empty handed. In my case, it's the latter. Even if they put in a damn good show (...most of the time), the nominations always disappoint me. Like I get it, the artists I dislike should be represented, but having more eggs in their basket instead of there being some type of balance annoys me to no end. I would suggest the Voting Academy be blown up and refreshed, but I'm one person with a barely unsuccessful blog, so I have no lion in this fight. My lion (pretty much a pussycat named Josie) would get dogwalked by their behemoth. I'd want to say I want to stop watching and caring about the BET Awards, but I said this years ago and here we are. I'll be watching, because I'm a masochist  -- and because I looove Taraji. 

SNL Review: Season 47 (and something else's) Finale

Let me be honest for a moment. Before tonight's finale, Saturday Night Live Review has been an on-and-off segment. When on, I have the time of my life recapping and critiquing one of my favorite TV shows, looking forward to whatever sketches and performances i loved and those I wish I never seen in my whole life. When off, I have no excitement, no amusement, and no time to waste on it. Its as if my focus is a high-speed roller coaster at Six Flags.

After tonight's finale, I'm largely giving up on SNL Review... and SNL itself. Like the review, after years of dwindling anticipation and increasing consternation, I realize for whatever reason (less amusement for the sketches, more attention to the same few cast members, musical guests I refuse to waste a second of oral or visual consumption on, the stale forced and schmaltzy production feel and much of anything missing more than hitting overall), SNL isn't a much-watch program for me anymore. And thus, im more interested in watching another show or my eyelids from now on. Apparently, I've become one of the old geezers whom decry every year about SNL's yearly decline in quality after season 5 or a decade before the 2010s. Yep, I'm a hypocrite who is now like the people I hate, I can admit it.

So what better time to bid goodnights to the Icon from Studio 8H than when the biggest stars of the shows current era under Kenan Thompson are departing. Aidy Bryant, Kyle Mooney, Pete Davidson and the Benevolent Queen who reigns over all else Kate McKinnon are leaving the show after an impressive and (depending on the actor) unforgettable run in the cast. I cant say im not surprised but I also cant say I m not heartbroken. We'll get to more on that later, but first, we got a show to watch.

We begin (no surprise) with one of the most popular and successful recurring sketches possibly ever... Alien Abduction 3. You know what it is. Like the last ones, this one its just hilarious. Even if I know Aidy and especially Kate would take the spotlight, everyone else (Cecily Strong, Mikey Day and host Natasha Lyonne) kept my attention before they speak

 again. I also expected a visual aid to Kate's exit with the spaceship was bittersweet but refreshingly nuanced and simple and beautiful.

And now, the final Monologue by Ms. Lyonne, looking fabu like the dive bar's Catwoman. In it she talks about what makes SNL SNL, her start in acting on an episode of Pee-Wee's Playhouse and her rough but sweet and inspiring childhood in comparison to Fabio getting hit by a baseball. Her crackling, eager voice telling the story made it work and funny. Oh and Maya Rudolph and Fred Arminsen returned real quick to mimic her voice. Okay...

In the Pre-Tape After, a bunch of people talk about what it means to be... stupid. Not mentally-challenged, but plain stupid and their encouragement for other smarter Americans to vote in the midterms. It was so damn funny, seeing the subjects doing and saying random things that cant be described immediately is the best of them all.

In the final Sketch After the Monologue, a new radio announcer joins a New York Yankees radio station WNYX (which has to be a next-level reference to NewsRadio) for a broadcast... and is terrible. This was hilarious. Lyonne (and her rough, yet hot 50s sexpot voice) commanded the skit with the new host random, uncomfortable and inappropriate commentary, and Funtime Mikey's desperate straight man attempts to siphon attention back to the diamond competition were also funny. It seems like whatever attribute and talent the host has, the show will mine it for all eight sketches and the Cut for Time YouTube clip. 

At a special event, the lounge singer guest Treece (Kenan) and his band, keyboardist Brad Dates (Mooney), wandering dancer Helen (CecStrong), and harmonica harper Cassie Marie (Lyonne) are serenading the guests. Other than Treece's begging for allergy medicine (like me as I'm suffering from the bout I've probably ever had), this was alright and chuckleworthy. Kenan and Lyonne had some sprinkles of chemistry but it was too hype for my taste. Plus I don't blame the gay man played by Bowen Yang -- that shit is four dollars too much for me to run out from too.

In the next Pre-Tape, a high schooler (played by Andrew Dismukes -- the better, more successful, happier and even better-looking) narrates the future events of his classmates at their senior proms as it reaches its doldrums. Despite the syrupy nice voice, the events themselves sound like something out of a period piece dramatization and a true crime show together with jokes that make you uncomfortable and crossing the line twice aplenty. This was even better than the "stupid people vote" one. It had me both shivering (not from the allergies I swear) and splitting sides. White Andrew was perfect to narrate and the offsetting visuals mesh well with the events. Gosh this was insane. (I would later end up in a metal hospital for the brutal assaults of four distant cousins at a family reunion at Fairmount Park near a five-year-old's birthday party. I ate a piece of the cake and then shat on the clown.)

It's Time for a Final Update! Michael Che and Colin Jost are back for the last time this season with what always has to be their best jokes of the season (which explains why they've been coasting half the time the last several years). Jokes include Jost's Nostradumbass moment involving COVID's plateau, Tucker Carlson and Elon Musk being Republican evil edgelords, the baby formula shortage, TikTok in the Catholic Chruch, .

The Guy Who Just Bought a Boat (Alex Moffatt) is back to be everyone's favorite high-end punchable douchebag saying anything that could be the grosser White version of the first verse ass-grabbing asshole in verse one of Queen Latifah's U.N.I.T.Y. while making everyone feel like the most used expression in the 2020s -- utter shame and disgust. He was one of my favorite characters of the Che/Jost era and Moffatt portrays him with such perfection and never skips a beat while possibly feeling grossed out while reciting every line.

Two on-trend forecasters (Baby Aidy and Gay-by Bowen) predict the weather while being the most out-of-pocket drama-excreted Queens. of RuPaul's Drag Race. The individual and collective performance was ridiculously hilarious and their voices are perfect. The one line by Yang, hand-holding and embracing for Baby Aidy was just so beautiful, I almost cried.

Pete Davidson makes his one final appearance in the finale to talk about his time on the show, leaving as he got hired -- a brunette (sometimes blonde) rail-thin, pale-skinned comedian who set the world on fire with his borderline acting and weed-soaked demeanor. It was a tumultuous tenure, and i was there for most of it with eyes peeked and mouth puckered with some laughs in-between. So it makes sense for his farewell speech to be bittersweet and humbling. I admit, I wanted him to leave or end up let go for the past few years thanks to his teasing. But now that he is, I'm kinda sad to see him go. But not sad enough because a successful career waiting for him at the other side of the studio doors. You see kids, a lesson is learned. If you do fine enough to convince the creator of a TV show to hire you and then do less and less on said show while dealing with a whole bunch of shit outside and doing more effort into your personal projects, you too can have a very successful career at the end of the rainbow. Pete, congrats on your time on SNL, I hope you'll be happy and healthy as the years progress and I wish you a damn good career in comedy.

Next in this parody of 9 to 5 (called 9:15 to 5:10), three women (CecStrong, Heidi Gardner and Ego Nwodim) deal with their misogynistic boss (Lyonne) - not with their feminism and awesomeness, but by killing him. Then it becomes a Weekend at Bernie's ripoff as they try to keep their supervisors (Armisen and KyMoo) unaware. Honestly, thr only thing that was funny was the physical comedy by the girls and Lyonne  and Natasha's successful attempts at not corpsing. Like the cameo by Armisen too.

Next up, making their SNL debut at the last and luckiest possible moment is alternative pop band Japanese Breakfast. I love listening to new bands on SNL, because I try my best to expand my musical footprint from 2000s pop, 90s and 2000s R&B and the handful of tracks from 1972. And that's all i can think about on the surface. So I think Japanese Breakfast would be a good candidate for my thirst for new music. And... they succeed with their reteaux new-wave sound like it came straight from the works of John Hughes and frontwoman Michelle Zauner's hauntingly velvety voice. Both performances are bright, ethereal, charasmatic and colorful with the set flanked by bright multicolored LED lights and a backing band playing their hearts out like they're about to make their big break (and do). It's amazing and I will definitely be hearing more and more from the Beakfast so Japanese-y very soon.

In the final Sketch for Grey pigtails, three middle-aged women decide to mesh with the years and let go, and two spokeswomen (Baby Aidy and Katey) encourage them to do so. It was okay, but it was still beautiful seeing McKinnon, Mooney and Bryant in a non-flashy final Sketch before saying goodbye.

Which is what happens after a final hang with the 8H Band. I'm gonna miss them a lot, because of their upbeat, professional, saxophone-dominated sound. I grew up on listening to smooth jazz, so I always found listening to Lenny Pickett rock out on the woodwind a constant collection of joy, charm and warmth. Besides listening to WJJZ as a kid, this is the best presentation of recurring live popular music in media. It's gonna be hard to walk away from the 8H Band.

Now to the cast members leaving. Honestly for the last few years, I was sick of seeing them so much more than other cast members every week, no matter how talented they are or how their performances make the show work partially. Every Sketch they're in takes precious time and potential away from the newer members (which they'll finally get next season - even if Cecily Strong, Mikey Day and Kenan will still take refuge in most of them) that make me wonder what the point was of even hiring them in the first place. And Pete sometimes not being there would make me happy if I never noriced his absences to begin with. That seems to be the criticism the show by others as well, but they're still here nonetheless. They even took some episodes off to do other projects -- which isn't bad but could've happened during summer break. But now that they're leaving, I honestly will miss. They're still incredibly talented and brought us some unforgettable characters and memorable sketches,, and their presence was totally felt every time they were on screen. I cannot and never had time to deny it. I wish them the best in their careers from here on out and I hope they are happy and grateful with everything Lorne and the producers have given them this past better part of a decade. It's too bad I can't feel excited for what's to come later on this year and probably beyond.

I'm gonna stop watching SNL for a long while, as I've mentioned earlier, because it's just to much of a chore for me to watch. Just too cumbersome and time-consuming to do. Even if it has a great cast and crew at the moment, and Lorne is still at the top of his game, I feel no interest in watching anymore. That's why the Review segment has diminishing and diminutive returns. I feel nothing about it now. So consider this the very last review I'll ever do for Saturday Night Live. (I'm sure you're very pleased) I hope you enjoyed this show and all the jokes I wrote bring you some good in times of good and bad and I hope you'll enjoy the other posts I'll do here from here on out.

Oh, as for the episode itself, it was really good. Natasha Lyonne was a firebrand as host, the cast were amazing as always and it was a bittersweet, beautiful send-off for the four departing cast members. I knew my eyes would well up from second one and they did. I knew it would be emotional and funny and I have the words go prove it.

And so ends this final review of Saturday Night Live (at least maybe until Season 50 comes around. MAYBE.) This is Andrew Pollard saying, and if you've read this far ... I just wanna say, I hope you had a great day, that life's treating you nicely and that you're doing  whatever is making you happy (or at the very least, that you're doing that makes you money). May God, Allah, Buddha, Jehovah, Hare Crisna, Satan or Visnu (or whoever you worship) bless you and have a great life. Goodnight.