Hey there.
Some Burger King in Virginia is under fire for giving an elderly customer a receipt. Yep, that's the reason. A receipt, but not any receipt. This receipt features some bad words on it. Take a look at this report from Richmond TV station WTVR
Oh boo-freaking-hoo. Yes, you received a receipt with curse words on it. That sucks, seriously. And I've never seen a receipt with a customer's name on it. But what can you do about it? No one physically or sexually assaulted you. No one said it to your face. And even if you did, you'd be arrested for putting your hands on the person. So there's nothing you can do about a receipt; except whine to a TV station about it. And that's just beating a dead horse.
And speaking of the station, that was really stupid of them to report on this. What would they do about it? Since this got on TV, the teenager who really did it could've quit his job just so he could escape jail or be on TV, or embarrass (him/her)self in front of his/her family and friends. And the bleep sound they used. Hi-freaking-larious!! And why make that their top story? Was the one about "hundreds dying in an Egypt unrest" not compelling enough?
Folks, I'll let you make your own conclusions on this one, but the old lady and the girl had a good idea to stay away from the Burger King. If/when they get more receipts from jackass teenage employees with names like "Cranky Ass C*nt" or "Old Ass Bag" or..."SLut" because they ran out of obscenities to throw at people, then they can sue the whole place, the kids' grandchildren would be in trouble.
Friday, February 28, 2014
Thursday, February 27, 2014
SLMR: Drunk in Love, Talk Dirty & (BONUS) Hurt You
Welcome back one and all. It's part two of this month's SLMR. Last night I covered "Making Up" and "Breaking Up". And today it's "F**king Up" and "Drunk as F**k". Meaning you go to bar or nightclub and end up in someone's bed. It's that easy to decipher.
So today, I review two songs that cover these two categories. I know there are many songs in pop that cover Drinking and R&B/Rap that cover Sex, along with many that cover both. But I chose these two because they switch them around. The R&B hit covers being wasted, not on Merlot, Nuvo, Kahlua, or even Alize, But on love. And the Pop hit is basically about boinkin' girls from different countries. Also, as a bonus, I'm also reviewing a special song about how painful a breakup can be, and how friendship can keep a couple from killing other or calling finders-keepers on stuff.
Here they are: "Drunk in Love" by Beyonce featuring Jay-Z, "Talk Dirty' by Jason Derulo, and "Hurt You" by Toni Braxton and Babyface.
Let's start with Drunk in Love.
"SERFBUARD!"
"WATERMELON!"
"You got me feddy..."
"Eat the cake, Anna Mae!"
All these stupid phrases and more can be yours to meme when you listen to Beyonce's new single "Drunk in Love".
Okay, was Beyonce on acid when made this song?
In all fairness, I don't really hate this song. It's actually really good. In fact it's much better when it's heard slow.
The song starts with some child or human or creature(?) howling the first part of the track. Then Bey says the reason the song exists: She was drinking a new brand of alcohol, one that doesn't give you hangovers in the head, but in the vag. Also she talks about her fame and the flashing lights of cameras when she walks by. And she's drunk on that too.
She then says "We walked up in the kitchen saying "How the hell did this shit happen?"
What does that mean: You suddenly got drunk?
Jay knocking you up again?
You saying "Shit for the fifth time in your life?
You still being a music superstar?
Yeah.
And the last thing she remembered is her body humping all over Jay-Z's. Pretty much the last memory of every other girl after last call.
And now to the second verse in which things get more trappy ('Cause it's a trap song.)
She basically becomes a female Juicy J talking about lights, and rubbing against something, and something about calling a reverend. I'm guessing if the sex turns into some Excorcist shit, you should call one for holy water. Also something about sheets turned into washrags? She's so drunk that either she'll just spout anything to fit the rhyme scheme or just suffered a romance-induced seizure. And the "SERFBUARD!" thing, doesn't make sense, but is hilarious.
The only negative here is that "Boy I'm Drinkin'" keeps repeating throughout the verse. We get it, Bey, you're drunk. It's not like you drank Love-ohol for the first time. Oh wait, she has.
I really don't like Jay-Z's verse for one reason.
"I'm Ike.../Turner--Turner/Baby, naw, I don't play" Make that two.
"Now eat the cake, Anna Mae/ Said Eat the cake, Anna Mae/ I'm nice!" Dude must be a fan of "What's Love Got to Do With It".
He referred himself as Ike Turner, Tina Turner's ex. Who he beat repeatedly during her iconic career. Yeah. I'd be careful, Beyonce.
Oh, and, not the best Turner you'd want to be associating yourself with, Shawn. I'd rather be Timmy.
And the "Your breasteses(?) and my breakfastses(??) line? He must be drunk too. Still won't explain the "I'm Ike" thing.
Straight after, Bey says some things like "She's tired", "V-05", "Watermelon". We've reached the "Shitfaced" portion of the song, folks. Bey gets more and more nonsensical as it continues. It works though.
I guess I see why this song is so weird. As the song progresses, Beyonce gets more wasted; because that's the point. Beyonce is wasted off of her love to Jay-Z. And as the song progresses, she's more wasted because of her love to him. If she gets any more in love with Jay, she might just die of alco-hunk poisoning. I do like this song, and hope this doesn't teach people it can happen in real life. Because they've already been drunk on something else. It's called NoCommonSense.
We'll keep it moving with "Talk Dirty".
So Jason here refers himself as a plane--
"I'm that flight that you get on--International"
If any ethnic chick freak him, he'll take her there. And when I mean there, I mean Cumland. Get it?
"First class seat on my lap, guurl--Sittin' comfortable"
His lap is a seat. Although his body is first class, his common sense to me is coach, since his songs have gone to sex. And that's coming from a guy who still likes "What'cha Say", so it's lose-lose here.
"Cause I know what the girl them need/New York to Haiti"
Okay that one doesn't make any damn sense. What does New York have to do What do they need? Oh yeah. Gross!! And that accent. This is why singing like Rihanna makes you look like an damn fool.
This song is the pop equivalent to Young Money's "Every Girl in the World". They're both about bedding girls, countries they all want to grab girls from to bed with, and they both suck.
And 2 Chainz is also on this track.
This is why I can't listen to radio anymore (and that I go Indie now, but mostly the first). All these songs are about sex, drugs, liquor, and sometimes a combo of three. And it doesn't stop at rap and hip-hop, it's gone to pop, R&B and country, too. I know this is utilized to sell music, but seriously. But, fuck me, it's my fault for going back to it. It just makes me ashamed of the oldest medium in history. I wish there is a station that gives me just the songs I love, like, and sometimes like--oh wait, it's called Pandora. Ironically, the first time I heard this wan't on any American medium show--radio, TV, ect. I heard it on Big Brother UK Bit on the Side, where Jason was a guest. (It's on YT; funny, show, you should check it out.)
You know, it's so bad, I, at first, wasn't even gonna put the video here. It's him with a bunch a ethnic girls touching his chest and 2 Chainz doing his shitty type of rapping. But I did this to all songs I review.
So I can't leave this out.
A finally a bonus song: "Hurt You" by Toni Braxton and Babyface.
This is a real R&B song. Love, heartbreak, passion and ferosity all in one great package. No squicky sex, no encouragement of cheating, and no crap you hear on the stations today. Just classy and clean with a side of dignity and--well, talent.
Both lend their amazing voices to this track, about the problems in a relationship, the pain of loving someone, when you they might not love you, and the impact of infedelity. It's like Cheaters but without the name-calling, roughhousing, and pulling of the fake hair. You know, CLASS.
This is the first single by both artists in over a decade, and both really show how real R&B is. You should check out this song.
And there they are: Three songs I didn't have to review but I did, because-well-I really want to. Drunk in Love is a really nice song about loving your man or girl with the genius subtext of being drunk on it. Talk Dirty is crap that's the complete opposite, and Hurt You is just a perfect R&B song that there should be more of.
Well, thank you all for joining me on this edition of Short/Long Music Review. Until next time, "Good Good" Bye!!
So today, I review two songs that cover these two categories. I know there are many songs in pop that cover Drinking and R&B/Rap that cover Sex, along with many that cover both. But I chose these two because they switch them around. The R&B hit covers being wasted, not on Merlot, Nuvo, Kahlua, or even Alize, But on love. And the Pop hit is basically about boinkin' girls from different countries. Also, as a bonus, I'm also reviewing a special song about how painful a breakup can be, and how friendship can keep a couple from killing other or calling finders-keepers on stuff.
Here they are: "Drunk in Love" by Beyonce featuring Jay-Z, "Talk Dirty' by Jason Derulo, and "Hurt You" by Toni Braxton and Babyface.
Let's start with Drunk in Love.
"SERFBUARD!"
"WATERMELON!"
"You got me feddy..."
"Eat the cake, Anna Mae!"
All these stupid phrases and more can be yours to meme when you listen to Beyonce's new single "Drunk in Love".
In all fairness, I don't really hate this song. It's actually really good. In fact it's much better when it's heard slow.
The song starts with some child or human or creature(?) howling the first part of the track. Then Bey says the reason the song exists: She was drinking a new brand of alcohol, one that doesn't give you hangovers in the head, but in the vag. Also she talks about her fame and the flashing lights of cameras when she walks by. And she's drunk on that too.
She then says "We walked up in the kitchen saying "How the hell did this shit happen?"
What does that mean: You suddenly got drunk?
Jay knocking you up again?
You saying "Shit for the fifth time in your life?
You still being a music superstar?
Yeah.
And the last thing she remembered is her body humping all over Jay-Z's. Pretty much the last memory of every other girl after last call.
And now to the second verse in which things get more trappy ('Cause it's a trap song.)
She basically becomes a female Juicy J talking about lights, and rubbing against something, and something about calling a reverend. I'm guessing if the sex turns into some Excorcist shit, you should call one for holy water. Also something about sheets turned into washrags? She's so drunk that either she'll just spout anything to fit the rhyme scheme or just suffered a romance-induced seizure. And the "SERFBUARD!" thing, doesn't make sense, but is hilarious.
The only negative here is that "Boy I'm Drinkin'" keeps repeating throughout the verse. We get it, Bey, you're drunk. It's not like you drank Love-ohol for the first time. Oh wait, she has.
I really don't like Jay-Z's verse for one reason.
"I'm Ike.../Turner--Turner/Baby, naw, I don't play" Make that two.
"Now eat the cake, Anna Mae/ Said Eat the cake, Anna Mae/ I'm nice!" Dude must be a fan of "What's Love Got to Do With It".
He referred himself as Ike Turner, Tina Turner's ex. Who he beat repeatedly during her iconic career. Yeah. I'd be careful, Beyonce.
Oh, and, not the best Turner you'd want to be associating yourself with, Shawn. I'd rather be Timmy.
And the "Your breasteses(?) and my breakfastses(??) line? He must be drunk too. Still won't explain the "I'm Ike" thing.
Straight after, Bey says some things like "She's tired", "V-05", "Watermelon". We've reached the "Shitfaced" portion of the song, folks. Bey gets more and more nonsensical as it continues. It works though.
I guess I see why this song is so weird. As the song progresses, Beyonce gets more wasted; because that's the point. Beyonce is wasted off of her love to Jay-Z. And as the song progresses, she's more wasted because of her love to him. If she gets any more in love with Jay, she might just die of alco-hunk poisoning. I do like this song, and hope this doesn't teach people it can happen in real life. Because they've already been drunk on something else. It's called NoCommonSense.
We'll keep it moving with "Talk Dirty".
"I'm that flight that you get on--International"
If any ethnic chick freak him, he'll take her there. And when I mean there, I mean Cumland. Get it?
"First class seat on my lap, guurl--Sittin' comfortable"
His lap is a seat. Although his body is first class, his common sense to me is coach, since his songs have gone to sex. And that's coming from a guy who still likes "What'cha Say", so it's lose-lose here.
"Cause I know what the girl them need/New York to Haiti"
Okay that one doesn't make any damn sense. What does New York have to do What do they need? Oh yeah. Gross!! And that accent. This is why singing like Rihanna makes you look like an damn fool.
This song is the pop equivalent to Young Money's "Every Girl in the World". They're both about bedding girls, countries they all want to grab girls from to bed with, and they both suck.
And 2 Chainz is also on this track.
This is why I can't listen to radio anymore (and that I go Indie now, but mostly the first). All these songs are about sex, drugs, liquor, and sometimes a combo of three. And it doesn't stop at rap and hip-hop, it's gone to pop, R&B and country, too. I know this is utilized to sell music, but seriously. But, fuck me, it's my fault for going back to it. It just makes me ashamed of the oldest medium in history. I wish there is a station that gives me just the songs I love, like, and sometimes like--oh wait, it's called Pandora. Ironically, the first time I heard this wan't on any American medium show--radio, TV, ect. I heard it on Big Brother UK Bit on the Side, where Jason was a guest. (It's on YT; funny, show, you should check it out.)
You know, it's so bad, I, at first, wasn't even gonna put the video here. It's him with a bunch a ethnic girls touching his chest and 2 Chainz doing his shitty type of rapping. But I did this to all songs I review.
So I can't leave this out.
A finally a bonus song: "Hurt You" by Toni Braxton and Babyface.
Both lend their amazing voices to this track, about the problems in a relationship, the pain of loving someone, when you they might not love you, and the impact of infedelity. It's like Cheaters but without the name-calling, roughhousing, and pulling of the fake hair. You know, CLASS.
This is the first single by both artists in over a decade, and both really show how real R&B is. You should check out this song.
And there they are: Three songs I didn't have to review but I did, because-well-I really want to. Drunk in Love is a really nice song about loving your man or girl with the genius subtext of being drunk on it. Talk Dirty is crap that's the complete opposite, and Hurt You is just a perfect R&B song that there should be more of.
Well, thank you all for joining me on this edition of Short/Long Music Review. Until next time, "Good Good" Bye!!
Wednesday, February 26, 2014
SLMR: Dark Horse & Say Something
Welcome to Short/Long Music Review, where I find songs (I either love or hate) to review them in a short review that took a long time to review.
Hi everyone. It's that time again, and this time, in the month of LOOOOVEE (and black history), I've decidedly chose four songs based on the different points of love and relationships from making up to breaking up, and then F**king up with someone else. And also because I researched on Billboard's website.
These songs will be split and released on two consecutive nights. Tonight, it's "Make Up and Break Up". One of these songs are about the pain and hate of being in a horrible, nasty, evil and ever so scary relationship...and the other is Say Something.
Here are "Dark Horse" by Katy Perry featuring Juicy J
and "Say Something" by A Great Big World feat. Christina Agulera.
Let's start with "Dark Horse".
Now you know Katy Perry has been the ultimate guilty pleasure of the decade and the previous decade. With hits such as "I Kissed a Girl", "Hot n' Cold", "California Gurls", "Teenage Dream", and now "Roar", which is, as you remember, I called the of the anti-female empowerment songs, although I was wrong, because it is, and I didn't listen to the lyrics fully. It's that catchy.
Anywho, she now releases what I guess can finally be the end of my streak of guil--I mean, Katy Perry songs that I like. Well that happened with "Unconditionally" because she pronounces it "Uhn-con-diz-SHUUUUUNNN-AAALLL-ly". That makes my brain crash every time I hear it.
We start with Katy meeting a man (well, she says he met her, as she knew he "comes" to her. What?) and tells him she's happy to be with him, but warns him, that if he stays with her for the long haul, he will live a burning hell in the form of a relationship with her. Unfortunately, we saw this happen before and how it turned out.
Then we reach the chorus. In the first half, she says that if "you wanna play with magic, Boy, you betta know what'cha fightin' for", meaning that if you want her, you're gonna get used to power of her scorn. That's right, she'll start of like Mabel Pines, and go straight to Myra Monkhouse. Quite a catch, I say, huh?
Then in the second half, in which she sings like she's frickin' Jacob Two-Two, she exclaims that I'm warning you ("Are you ready for/ A perfect storm?"), if you date me ("Cause once you're mine"), you will never leave (There's no goin' back").
Let that be a warning, guys. If you meet a woman that matches the one as sung in the lyrics, turn around, run, and never. look. back.
At least I do like the featured artist's verse. And it comes from...(sigh) Juicy J.
Usually I hate Juicy J for being the king of songs about strips clubs and strippers and such. If you don't know, Juicy J is a former member of Three 6 Mafia. For blacks, they're known for their creepy, gross mysogynistic tracks, and for whites, they won an Academy Award in 2006 for their song "It's Hard Out Here for a Pimp". Remember? Let's go to his verse.
"She's a beast/ I call her Karma"
--Well, that could make sense, because, after giving hell to guys, she might get her's later.
"She'll eat your out//Like Jeffery Dahmer."
--What? Wait? She eats hearts, too? Gross!! (Okay, that's just a creepy simile, because Jeffery Dahmer is a serial killer, and he's deserves hell for what his crimes were. Hold on, didn't Jeffery Dahmer eat more than hearts?)
"Be careful/ Try not to lead her on"
Why not? What if she needs directions?
"Shawty heart is on steroids/Cause her love is so strong"
--Oh. She's crazy. Like "Rose" crazy. Got it! (Oh, and unless you die after it, there's no way someone's love can be strong after steroids, so don't try it, people. Yes, that doesn't really happen, I'm just playing ditzy here.)
Then Juicy here starts rambling about keeping the girl, saying keep her, but don't test her (keep her) or mess with her (okay, leave her).
"Something-Something-Armor-Something-Fairy tale//She can be my Sleeping Beauty/Ima put 'er in a coma"
--You can't put a Sleeping Beauty in a coma, you idiot. You wake her up with a kiss. Unless you have sex with her, then; she'll be Sleeping Beauty, all right.
I won't put the rest here, because it's about sex and being "so bad" and fairs, because it's Juicy J, so I'm not wasting my time with that. And that's the so--
Oh yeah!! My review. This song is so corny. It really is. The beat is dizzingly bad, the vocals are annoying, and Juicy J's in it (although it's better than anything he put out.) And the music video is really stupid. I may have thought too much of Katy's performance at the Grammys, but--mixing Egyptian with Ghetto? No. And did I notice ancestors of Skeeter Valentine? Anyway, it's so repulsive, some Muslum communities want it banned because one of the suitors with a necklace representing Allah, Arabic for God, is reduced to dust, necklace and all.
Yeah.
Katy, I'll come back to you, if you make a really catchy song that is good. Oh by the way, it's really boring.
And now, "Say Something".
This Great Big World song is about a relationship that just didn't go right and the couple discuss what went wrong before parting ways. The moody setting really works here, and the lyrics really capture mood of the content. And the video just captures the lyrics too. Each and every verse is brought to life by people (or water as shown there too) doing exactly what the lyrics are. Genius! (Although any time I listen to a song, I always think up a video that matches the song.) I must do that a lot.
Anyhow, these guys shine here. They put a lot of passion and brilliance into this. It just makes you cry the second Four-Eyes with the Jewfro says "giving". Christina Agulera shines just as much. (and not use her "I'm gonna vocalize like a banshee" voice). This song really tells "We're breaking up" in a beautifully nice package. Never before have I heard a song just like this. I probably never will either.
And there they are: two songs I didn't have to review but I did, because-well-I really want to. Dark Horse is a really questionable song with annoying vocals and strange mix of pop and trap; while Say Something is a beautiful encapulation of piano and strings that mesh well with AGBW and Xtina's vocals. Dark Horse pretty much going to be in my brain for a long time, whether I like it or not; much more than Say Something, which should be in my brain nonetheless. And tomorrow I really will be back 2 more songs to review about LOOOOVEEE.
(I hope you like it; even though, it's probably bad)
See you then!
Hi everyone. It's that time again, and this time, in the month of LOOOOVEE (and black history), I've decidedly chose four songs based on the different points of love and relationships from making up to breaking up, and then F**king up with someone else. And also because I researched on Billboard's website.
These songs will be split and released on two consecutive nights. Tonight, it's "Make Up and Break Up". One of these songs are about the pain and hate of being in a horrible, nasty, evil and ever so scary relationship...and the other is Say Something.
Here are "Dark Horse" by Katy Perry featuring Juicy J
and "Say Something" by A Great Big World feat. Christina Agulera.
Let's start with "Dark Horse".
Anywho, she now releases what I guess can finally be the end of my streak of guil--I mean, Katy Perry songs that I like. Well that happened with "Unconditionally" because she pronounces it "Uhn-con-diz-SHUUUUUNNN-AAALLL-ly". That makes my brain crash every time I hear it.
We start with Katy meeting a man (well, she says he met her, as she knew he "comes" to her. What?) and tells him she's happy to be with him, but warns him, that if he stays with her for the long haul, he will live a burning hell in the form of a relationship with her. Unfortunately, we saw this happen before and how it turned out.
Then we reach the chorus. In the first half, she says that if "you wanna play with magic, Boy, you betta know what'cha fightin' for", meaning that if you want her, you're gonna get used to power of her scorn. That's right, she'll start of like Mabel Pines, and go straight to Myra Monkhouse. Quite a catch, I say, huh?
Then in the second half, in which she sings like she's frickin' Jacob Two-Two, she exclaims that I'm warning you ("Are you ready for/ A perfect storm?"), if you date me ("Cause once you're mine"), you will never leave (There's no goin' back").
Let that be a warning, guys. If you meet a woman that matches the one as sung in the lyrics, turn around, run, and never. look. back.
At least I do like the featured artist's verse. And it comes from...(sigh) Juicy J.
Usually I hate Juicy J for being the king of songs about strips clubs and strippers and such. If you don't know, Juicy J is a former member of Three 6 Mafia. For blacks, they're known for their creepy, gross mysogynistic tracks, and for whites, they won an Academy Award in 2006 for their song "It's Hard Out Here for a Pimp". Remember? Let's go to his verse.
"She's a beast/ I call her Karma"
--Well, that could make sense, because, after giving hell to guys, she might get her's later.
"She'll eat your out//Like Jeffery Dahmer."
--What? Wait? She eats hearts, too? Gross!! (Okay, that's just a creepy simile, because Jeffery Dahmer is a serial killer, and he's deserves hell for what his crimes were. Hold on, didn't Jeffery Dahmer eat more than hearts?)
"Be careful/ Try not to lead her on"
Why not? What if she needs directions?
"Shawty heart is on steroids/Cause her love is so strong"
--Oh. She's crazy. Like "Rose" crazy. Got it! (Oh, and unless you die after it, there's no way someone's love can be strong after steroids, so don't try it, people. Yes, that doesn't really happen, I'm just playing ditzy here.)
Then Juicy here starts rambling about keeping the girl, saying keep her, but don't test her (keep her) or mess with her (okay, leave her).
"Something-Something-Armor-Something-Fairy tale//She can be my Sleeping Beauty/Ima put 'er in a coma"
--You can't put a Sleeping Beauty in a coma, you idiot. You wake her up with a kiss. Unless you have sex with her, then; she'll be Sleeping Beauty, all right.
I won't put the rest here, because it's about sex and being "so bad" and fairs, because it's Juicy J, so I'm not wasting my time with that. And that's the so--
Oh yeah!! My review. This song is so corny. It really is. The beat is dizzingly bad, the vocals are annoying, and Juicy J's in it (although it's better than anything he put out.) And the music video is really stupid. I may have thought too much of Katy's performance at the Grammys, but--mixing Egyptian with Ghetto? No. And did I notice ancestors of Skeeter Valentine? Anyway, it's so repulsive, some Muslum communities want it banned because one of the suitors with a necklace representing Allah, Arabic for God, is reduced to dust, necklace and all.
Katy, I'll come back to you, if you make a really catchy song that is good. Oh by the way, it's really boring.
And now, "Say Something".
Anyhow, these guys shine here. They put a lot of passion and brilliance into this. It just makes you cry the second Four-Eyes with the Jewfro says "giving". Christina Agulera shines just as much. (and not use her "I'm gonna vocalize like a banshee" voice). This song really tells "We're breaking up" in a beautifully nice package. Never before have I heard a song just like this. I probably never will either.
And there they are: two songs I didn't have to review but I did, because-well-I really want to. Dark Horse is a really questionable song with annoying vocals and strange mix of pop and trap; while Say Something is a beautiful encapulation of piano and strings that mesh well with AGBW and Xtina's vocals. Dark Horse pretty much going to be in my brain for a long time, whether I like it or not; much more than Say Something, which should be in my brain nonetheless. And tomorrow I really will be back 2 more songs to review about LOOOOVEEE.
(I hope you like it; even though, it's probably bad)
See you then!
Tuesday, February 25, 2014
Late Night with Seth Meyers: First Night Review
Last week, I made a review of the new Tonight Show starring new host Jimmy Fallon.
Of course, I raved a little about it and gushed a lot about the set, which still holds up quite wonderfully. And the show has done very well, and will still be great for years to come. And now it's time for Seth Meyers to take the reigns of NBC's other late night show, Late Night.
Before I get to the review, here's a quick crash course on Seth himself. He's from Saturday Night Live, has been an cast member for 11 years and has anchored the show's Weekend Update segment for 6 years. He's a really talented performer and very impressive writer. He's written or co-written many hilarious sketches and shorts and has later become the longest running male cast member in SNL history. Now that you know, let's get to it.
Also the bandleader and curator of the 8GBand is fellow former SNL veteran Fred Armisen. Talk about a nice reunion.
The INTRO:
I really like the fast pace of the open. I expected it to be this way, to compliment the news-y style this Late Night incarnation would undertake. This open and theme definitely and truly contrasts the slower, more moodier open and theme Tonight Show utilizes.
The SET:
Unlike the Tonight set, which I loved, mind you, and is directly under this set, I really like only parts of it. Well, at first. I later warmed up to most of it before writing this review,
I also like the blue walls and odd patterns around the set...for some reason--I don't know why, though.
The MONOLOGUE:
In his first mono, Seth mentions, among others, Toronto mayor Rob Ford (who isn't?) doing something stupid (again), 7-Eleven selling new products, while known for its food on the dirty floor, churches required to allow guns (my favorite), a remote-controlled monkey (who became the Bachelor), and the first UPS driver becoming a Senator (their first "sorta" bomb).
The BITS:
In the first bit, "Olympic Wrap-Up", Seth quips about the Olympics, joking about the Olympic mascot crying about the Olympics ending, but Seth thinks that he's going back to work...at Russian Chuck E. Cheese.
The next was "Costas Vision", which lampoons the host of NBC's coverage Bob Costas (well, his eyes) and what he sees while he suffered pinkeye. It was kinda funny, but not hilarious. The bobsled part was really funny.
Also, what would happen when Olympics announcers voicing other sports--such as college basketball...and MMA. (Sportsmanship at its finest.)
Another bit, Venn Diagrams, was the one I like even more. I would love to see this more. The funniest Diagram for me was this:
Russia & The NBA--
The GUESTS:
His first guest was fellow former SNL cast member and former Update co-anchor Amy Poehler. She first chatted about their younger selves at SNL, the jokes she said about George Clooney at the Golden Globes, and other thing the did over the years.
It was also hilarious when Amy and Fred become antagonistic after "being past lovers". Talk about a really good reunion. It really was funny and a really warn and fantastic chat between them.
The next guest was Vice President Joe Biden.
The RESULT:
His interview skills seem really good. Having Amy Poehler was a smart idea as the first guest; he really loosens up and gives a really wonderful delivery. Of course, as expected, he'll find his tone soon, so we'll see where he goes from here.
I'll give it another chance to see if he does better when the days progress. I'll wish Seth and the crew the very best of luck. They really will need it.
Favorite Jokes:
The Church Guns Requirement
Russian Chuck E. Cheese--"We're out of Chesse."
Venn Diagrams
Alright everyone. this has been a really fun review. Thanks for joining me, and I'll see you later.
Unless NBC announces another late night talk show, and I'll have to cover that too.
I'm looking at you, Carson Daly.
Monday, February 24, 2014
Alec Baldwin want to leave NY...for LA
Hello there.
Alec Baldwin announces he's tired of the Big Apple, and is planning on leaving New York City soon. In the February/March issue of New York Magazine, Baldwin says that he's tired of the paparazzi following him and giving his family hell...and stuff.
“I just can’t live in New York anymore,” he wrote in the cover story of the edition. “Everything I hated about L.A. I’m beginning to crave ... I want my newest child to have as normal and decent a life as I can provide. New York doesn’t seem the place for that anymore,” he wore on.
“L.A. is a place where you live behind a gate, you get in a car, your interaction with the public is minimal,” he explained in the most recent rant. “I used to hate that. But New York has changed.”
So he announces that he will be leaving New York to go to Los Angeles. (What) Also in the article, he calls out MSNBC host Rachel Maddow, calling her a phony and doesn't feel the same way he does on television...and stuff.
I'll get to the Rachel Maddow thing in a sec, but first let me dig in a little about the NY thing. (Ahem.)
Come on, man. Really? You think it's best to leave New York, where the paps are, following you around...and move to LA, where MORE paps are, following you EVERYWHERE?? And why the hell did you announce this to the public anyway? If you wanted to distance yourself and leave the public eye, then do not tell the public eye you're leaving New York!! No wonder the New York Magazine writer sees you as a crybaby. You have problems with the paps, yet you whine over and over about it. Yes, you get a gate and car to drive and more privacy. But if you haven't read the tabs and watch the newsmagazine shows, then you won't know that the paparazzi will find you and won't leave you and your family alone.
The best way you should've done this to just go without telling anyone. If Beyonce can make, produce and release an album without promotion; if Kerry Washington can get married to a football player without telling anyone for a while; and if some woman gets pregnant and successfully gets no one to notice, then maybe you could successfully move away from the public eye, move to LA (facepalm-sigh) or anywhere else without any difficulty. Or...stop being a celebrity. Quit acting, and be a stay-at-home dad to take care of your kid, and be very happy. I know you're the most famous Baldwin brother, with the other brothers' mixed success barely known to us, but if this move to LA (with the settling down thing) fails, we'll just laugh at you. This will go down at least to me, as the dumbest thing Alec has ever done in his career as an actor. His second was getting that late night talk show on MSNBC.
Speaking of, he calls Rachel Maddow a "Phony" "who doesn’t have the same passion for the truth off-camera as she appears to have on-camera". Right dude, find an angle to spill your new hatred of the network that dropped you.
So Alec, good luck in Los Angeles. If New York welcomes you back, it just might be with open arms...and the sounds of people laughing so hard.
Sunday, February 23, 2014
New Fantastic Four Cast Revealed; So is the New YouTube
Ah comic book fans. They can be so possessive. Especially when it comes to adaptions of the the comics they love made for the silver screen. Such is the case when certain actors they don't want to star in the films will star in the films. This includes Ryan Reynolds as Hal Jordan in Green Lantern, and much recently, Ben Affleck as Bruce Wayne/Batman in the next Man of Superman movie. That move made comic book fans go crazy, spurred a huge backlash on Twitter.
Even I myself had a word to say about this.
So Ben Affleck is playing Batman in the next Superman movie. It's perfectly fine but I like the guy who played Adam West on Family Guy more.
— andrewpollard (@APollard36) August 23, 2013A few months ago, there were rumors circulating around the Internet that a few certain actors would play the comic book Fab Four in a new, including Josh Gad, Miles Teller, and Michael B. Jordan as (wait-for-it) The Human Torch. (headshake)
Of course it was a rumor, but a stupid rumor nonetheless. But it's true.
So imagine their reactions when the cast of the new Fantastic Four film reboot was revealed yesterday.
Of course the comic book world as a whole is outraged at the casting decision. If you go to comic book movie websites, and read the comments, you would definitely see how they're feeling about this. But you know what? I actually agree with them. There is no way these actors can play these roles without people making comments about this. Yes, that's every other movie, but this time's different. And they actually have a legitimate reason why. So, obviously, there are a few sticking points that show wrong with this story.
Those are my reasons why I think these are bad choices to put together the cast. I don't think the casting department made the right decisions with this cast, but I'm okay with it. I will watch the film; I'm not a comic fanboy. If the cast does a really good, or even great job, I'll say I was wrong and will be okay with that. If the movie bombs, It was a stupid decision.
Speaking of stupid decisions, YouTube suddenly changed its layout on Wednesday. It originally looked most of the same, but with a three-lined "guide" icon on the left-hand side, which gets you to the channels you subscribed to the recent videos you watched, and other stuff, looking liked this.
Usually I ever like or get used to a new website layout if the company announces the change in advance. This time around, I guess I'll get used to this...I hate it. It looks ugly and baggy. It looks much less better than the last look.
They said it was to "make tweaking playlists easier and closely resemble its apps". Well, to me it looks like they screwed up on that. The desktop website and the mobile app still look completely different from each other. They don't need to look the same. In fact, i'm getting tired of seeing websites and mobile apps of one site look on and the same. It's fine if the app has something unique to it, but the looks better to me in some sense. But if the website begins to look like the app, I hate its guts.
Saturday, February 22, 2014
The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon: First Night Review
Hi everyone, Andrew here.
The Tonight Show returned last night with a brand new set, brand new open, brand new band, brand new audience seating, brand new city, and a brand new host...Jimmy Fallon. So, I'm here to give my thoughts on Mr. Fallon's first night as host of the venerable, 60+-year icon of late-night talk. Here we go.
The intro music has a nice Motown sound and is a really classy touch to the Tonight Show mantra. And the open is wonderful, featuring all iconic sites of New York on display, telling people The Tonight Show is back in New York and here to stay. And it was directed by Spike Lee, another great plus.
(I honestly hoped Conan O'Brien would stay a long while as host too, but we all know how that turned out.)
Jimmy was nervous, but he was very good. But you would too, if you were hosting The Tonight Show for the first time. He pretty much knew all the pressure is on him, as new host of Tonight and handled it well. He made a very good move introducing himself to all that don't know him, where he's from, his childhood and age, and his family. Speaking of family, he brought his parents to the show, both looking wonderful. He should be so happy to have the both of them here. Also it was really sweet of him to mention the past hosts before him (Steve Allen, Jack Paar, Johnny Carson, Jay Leno, Conan O'Brien, and Jay Leno. [Yes he was mentioned twice, because he hosted twice. Refunds at the close icon.])
The SET:
"Welcome to 11:30, BITCH!!"
The GUESTS:
After that, Jimmy's very first guest, Will Smith, joined him for a nice taped bit "The Evolution of Hip-Hop Dancing". My faves were "The Cabbage Patch" and "The Carlton".
Will later came back to talk to ol' Jim. He began with a heartwarming message to Mr. Fallon, that his warm and loving personality is one of the reasons major stars come to his show, ending with “People are coming [to The Tonight Show] because of your heart”. That was really sweet. He later talked about his family, their winter gatherings at the slopes skiing and snowboarding.
The term he used to describe Jada while snowboarding was hilarious.
SHAUN BLACK!They later chatted about his daughter Willow, who had a hit song you may still try to for--"Whip My Hair", that was parodied by Jimmy in the style of Bob Dylan.
After the break, U2 came inside Studio 6B to talk with Jim about their new-found mainstream success after winning a Golden Globe and an Academy Award nomination. They later played an acoustic version the song that won them the Globe, "Ordinary Love" from Mandela: Long Walk to Freedom. It was already beautifully fantastic, until Bono summonsed The Roots to join in, and they immediately played as if they played from the start, adding onto the greatness.
The Roots are a brilliant band and still is a really great choice as house band for not only Tonight, but also Late Night as well. And that cannot be denied.
I never honestly thought that someone like Jimmy Fallon would host The Tonight Show (or even Late Night, for that matter). But hey, I was a kid then. I was more focused on School and the next new episode of Foster's. But now that I've seen him up close, I think he could take this hosting job all the way and then some. But now that he's not hosting Late Night anymore, he's in a different ballpark, he has some things to work with: Viewers, demographic, popularity and if he could still get eyeballs. And of course, not everyone loved it. And a lot people did watch out of curiousity. And they will have something to say, whether they loved it and will watch again or they hated it, thought the set looked bland, The Roots were terrible, and they expected him to reach Jay Leno- or even Johnny Carson-level humor (Really Dipshits??) I, however, watched to see what the set looked like. I loved it so much, I wish I could sleep in it--okay, and with it. Whatever. And of course, the very first show is always shaky; either it's really bad and unwatchable or it's pretty good but not great. This is pretty much expected (and should be). But Jimmy will do every well; he's had a very successful run hosting Late Night (yes, for 5 years, but things turned around REALLY quickly) and has been very popular during his stint on SNL, so I won't be surprised if he becomes more relaxed and calm as the stint continues.
Good Luck, Jimmy. You're gonna need it in the ever-expanding late-night field. You might be here 5, 9, 10, maybe even 12 years, but I know you'll do very well.
Favorite jokes:
"I'm Jimmy Fallon, and I'll be your host--for now."
"Welcome to 11:30, BITCH!!" -Stephen Colbert
Favorite part:
(Definitely) U2 performing "Ordinary Love".
Well thank you for joining me for the review, everyone. I'll see you later, or maybe when Seth Meyers debuts.
Monday, February 17, 2014
Stand Your Ground 2: The Loud Music Trial
**I must warn you all that this is a serious post. I apologize if any humor seeps through anyway.**
Well folks, the Floridian Judicial System has screwed Black America yet again. As you heard, another trial has been held in Florida in which the accused, a grown man, uses a gun to take the life of the victim, a teenaged black boy, for a very sad reason. This is the first trial in 10 months since--well, you know.
Here's the backstory:
On November 23, 2012, Michael Dunn, a software engineer, was visiting a convenience store in Jacksonville, Florida. This occurence happened after he and his fiance Rhonda Rouer attended his son's wedding. He parked next to an SUV with five occupants (four of them teenagers) inside, and loud music playing. While his companion went into the store, Dunn went up to the truck and asked the driver to lower the music volume. The driver complied and turned off the music.
After the accused thanked the boys for the nice deed, he walked to his car when, not long after, from the other car, he supposedly heard one of the occupants yelling curse-words and caucasian slang terms like "white boy" and "cracker" and the driver turn the music back on and to a higher volume level. After not having any of it, Dunn walks back to the vehicle and gets into an argument with one of the teens. Later, after seeing one teenager exit the vehicle (as he so claims), he grabs a pistol from his glove box and began firing, shooting the other car ten times. After the shooting, Rouer ran out of the store and Dunn high-tails it out of the parking lot, heading for a hotel.
One of the teenagers, 17-year-old Jordan Davis, was shot twice and killed in the altercation.
Fast forward about 3 months later, and Dunn is now in court, charged with first-degree murder and 4 other charges in the death of Davis, who didn't even reside from Jacksonville; he lived in Marietta, Georgia, and was vacationing in Jacksonville with his father while his mother was in Atlanta battling breast cancer. On Saturday, a jury deliberated on the case for 30 hours over 4 days and found Dunn guilty on three counts of attempted murder in the second degree and one other charge of firing a deadly missile into an occupied vehicle for the fatal shooting. The jury later declared a mistrial on the charge of first degree murder, after a deadlock on the charge. Dunn's sentencing on the four attempted murder charges is set for March 24. Dunn will face at least 60 combined years in prison, and could face life if convicted of the first-degree charge on retrial.
I would say "If that guy just ignored the loud music and just waited for his fiance to bring the food from the store, and then drive away, all of this would not have happened". But I won't, because it did happen.
This is a very sad case that really reminds us of the Trayvon Martin case, which has eerie resemblances to this trial. Some grown man is near a black teenager, the man goes up to the teenager, the man feels he's in danger and gets a gun, and shoots the teenager in cold blood. Although in this case, the man has a really stupid and piss-poor reason to kill a young man. He claimed he was in danger, when he really wasn't. That's the thing on two different sides of a coin. People think that black people (especially of the dark variety) are always looking and acting menacing and doing really bad things, usually taking this at face value, and have a reason to feel unsafe around them. While on the other side, they're not really wrong here. Some dark skinned blacks have been doing really bad things, and looking menacing while doing them. Flip the coin, and something will happen. This time, it's the former.
The guy should not have grabbed a gun, and kept the doors locked; that way he could've gotten away safe, along with his fiance. The claim he felt he "feared for his life" was really stupid and didn't add up with the evidence. And speaking of the evidence, there was more of that from him and not the teenager (or even his friends [for lack of a better term]). They never had a gun in their truck. I even began to think whether or not it was true he heard one of them shout expletives and called him a "cracker". I have never heard a black teenager call a white man a "cracker". I even think this probably never happened since the early 2000s. There are other slang terms they use against white people, though. "Cracker" probably isn't one of them.
I'm happy the man got convicted on four of the charges. Although, to be honest, I really don't mind that he didn't get the biggest charge against him--first degree murder. I'm not even one of those people who get angry and scowl at some certain things that affect the black community. He's still going to jail for a long time, and he deserves it. I have a feeling, though, that the black community will see this as a victory after the Gubbeorge Zubbimmubbermubban trubbial, where he only got a few smaller charges and yet is still walking. That wasn't fair, and he still shouldn't have gotten out of his car in the first place, and he's just a lying, no-good pussy and--sorry, relapse.
Anyway, this "Stand Your Ground Law" thing is a complete joke and should work only if there is an actual fight going on and you have an actual need to defend yourself, not just some bullshit that you just came up with in your head and went with. That way the culprit gets more jail time. I hope someday this is either looked into or abolished, because the more cases and trials that use it pop up, the more it becomes a joke to everyone but the judicial system in Florida...and the state police...and every other white man in the state.
My thoughts and prayers to the family of Jordan Davis.
Well folks, the Floridian Judicial System has screwed Black America yet again. As you heard, another trial has been held in Florida in which the accused, a grown man, uses a gun to take the life of the victim, a teenaged black boy, for a very sad reason. This is the first trial in 10 months since--well, you know.
Here's the backstory:
On November 23, 2012, Michael Dunn, a software engineer, was visiting a convenience store in Jacksonville, Florida. This occurence happened after he and his fiance Rhonda Rouer attended his son's wedding. He parked next to an SUV with five occupants (four of them teenagers) inside, and loud music playing. While his companion went into the store, Dunn went up to the truck and asked the driver to lower the music volume. The driver complied and turned off the music.
After the accused thanked the boys for the nice deed, he walked to his car when, not long after, from the other car, he supposedly heard one of the occupants yelling curse-words and caucasian slang terms like "white boy" and "cracker" and the driver turn the music back on and to a higher volume level. After not having any of it, Dunn walks back to the vehicle and gets into an argument with one of the teens. Later, after seeing one teenager exit the vehicle (as he so claims), he grabs a pistol from his glove box and began firing, shooting the other car ten times. After the shooting, Rouer ran out of the store and Dunn high-tails it out of the parking lot, heading for a hotel.
One of the teenagers, 17-year-old Jordan Davis, was shot twice and killed in the altercation.
Fast forward about 3 months later, and Dunn is now in court, charged with first-degree murder and 4 other charges in the death of Davis, who didn't even reside from Jacksonville; he lived in Marietta, Georgia, and was vacationing in Jacksonville with his father while his mother was in Atlanta battling breast cancer. On Saturday, a jury deliberated on the case for 30 hours over 4 days and found Dunn guilty on three counts of attempted murder in the second degree and one other charge of firing a deadly missile into an occupied vehicle for the fatal shooting. The jury later declared a mistrial on the charge of first degree murder, after a deadlock on the charge. Dunn's sentencing on the four attempted murder charges is set for March 24. Dunn will face at least 60 combined years in prison, and could face life if convicted of the first-degree charge on retrial.
I would say "If that guy just ignored the loud music and just waited for his fiance to bring the food from the store, and then drive away, all of this would not have happened". But I won't, because it did happen.
This is a very sad case that really reminds us of the Trayvon Martin case, which has eerie resemblances to this trial. Some grown man is near a black teenager, the man goes up to the teenager, the man feels he's in danger and gets a gun, and shoots the teenager in cold blood. Although in this case, the man has a really stupid and piss-poor reason to kill a young man. He claimed he was in danger, when he really wasn't. That's the thing on two different sides of a coin. People think that black people (especially of the dark variety) are always looking and acting menacing and doing really bad things, usually taking this at face value, and have a reason to feel unsafe around them. While on the other side, they're not really wrong here. Some dark skinned blacks have been doing really bad things, and looking menacing while doing them. Flip the coin, and something will happen. This time, it's the former.
The guy should not have grabbed a gun, and kept the doors locked; that way he could've gotten away safe, along with his fiance. The claim he felt he "feared for his life" was really stupid and didn't add up with the evidence. And speaking of the evidence, there was more of that from him and not the teenager (or even his friends [for lack of a better term]). They never had a gun in their truck. I even began to think whether or not it was true he heard one of them shout expletives and called him a "cracker". I have never heard a black teenager call a white man a "cracker". I even think this probably never happened since the early 2000s. There are other slang terms they use against white people, though. "Cracker" probably isn't one of them.
I'm happy the man got convicted on four of the charges. Although, to be honest, I really don't mind that he didn't get the biggest charge against him--first degree murder. I'm not even one of those people who get angry and scowl at some certain things that affect the black community. He's still going to jail for a long time, and he deserves it. I have a feeling, though, that the black community will see this as a victory after the Gubbeorge Zubbimmubbermubban trubbial, where he only got a few smaller charges and yet is still walking. That wasn't fair, and he still shouldn't have gotten out of his car in the first place, and he's just a lying, no-good pussy and--sorry, relapse.
Anyway, this "Stand Your Ground Law" thing is a complete joke and should work only if there is an actual fight going on and you have an actual need to defend yourself, not just some bullshit that you just came up with in your head and went with. That way the culprit gets more jail time. I hope someday this is either looked into or abolished, because the more cases and trials that use it pop up, the more it becomes a joke to everyone but the judicial system in Florida...and the state police...and every other white man in the state.
My thoughts and prayers to the family of Jordan Davis.
Tuesday, February 04, 2014
Phillip Seymour Hoffman Dies--Yet I'm Not Mourning
*WARNING: Contains dark content*
Hello there.
If you heard the news, yes it's fine to be sad. Actor Phillip Seymour Hoffman passed away on Sunday, at age 46. The news came as his fans and the whole of the country was waiting for Super Bowl XLVIII to begin.
But as you read the header, yes I'm not mourning his death. The reason for his death was a drug overdose. In fact for much of his life, and almost all of his career, he was a druggie. He swallowed pills and shot stuff into his veins and enjoyed it. And he kept doing it until he died; in fact, when he died, he had a syringe in his arm. He continued the addiction until the minute he had his last breath. (SAD.) And that's why I'm not mourning him.
What makes me pissed off about this is that this dude has kids. KIDS!! Three kids he now leaves behind, along with his family and friends, because of this damn addiction. He was also a major film actor, with many legendary film roles in his rep, with a few Academy Award and Tony nominations under his belt. And yet, he knew the dangers of drug addiction. He knew his life (and his family's lives) would be altered forever because of it. He knew he was an actor known around the world. He also knew that he has three dang kids to love, watch them grow and care for! But he just didn't care. He brought this on himself; he just kept shooting drugs over and over until the day he bit the bullet. And you know what, I don't care.
Honestly, I don't care if he (or anyone else) was a major film star with Emmys, Tonys, Oscars AND Golden Globes. If you have or began to have a drug addiction you just refuse to quit and you have a family that you love and care for, I won't feel sorry for you (and probably your family.) It happened with Anna Nicole Smith; it happened with Heath Ledger; it happened with Cory Monteith; it happened with Amy Winehouse (although it was alcohol poisoning); and it's certainly happening with PSH. (And it's going to happen to other actors who OD too.)
He has been a major film star with lots of talent and a huge amount of genius (that I will respect him for), but he was also a drug abuser; someone I just won't take lightly or seriously. I just won't take it at all. I won't feel sorry for and mourn someone who made a choice to take drugs and die from an overdose; something they decided to do, despite the risks they were told earlier in life and they things they might give up and lose if they OD in the process.
In fact, why should I (or the rest of us) mourn? We didn't know him personally. Just as an actor. We never even met him outside of a sighting and asking for an autograph. It's okay to feel sorry for an actor's family if he/she dies from a horrible disease or Cancer or whatever. But not when he/she dies from OD'ing on drugs (or from alcohol poisoning).
Sorry.
Hello there.
If you heard the news, yes it's fine to be sad. Actor Phillip Seymour Hoffman passed away on Sunday, at age 46. The news came as his fans and the whole of the country was waiting for Super Bowl XLVIII to begin.
But as you read the header, yes I'm not mourning his death. The reason for his death was a drug overdose. In fact for much of his life, and almost all of his career, he was a druggie. He swallowed pills and shot stuff into his veins and enjoyed it. And he kept doing it until he died; in fact, when he died, he had a syringe in his arm. He continued the addiction until the minute he had his last breath. (SAD.) And that's why I'm not mourning him.
What makes me pissed off about this is that this dude has kids. KIDS!! Three kids he now leaves behind, along with his family and friends, because of this damn addiction. He was also a major film actor, with many legendary film roles in his rep, with a few Academy Award and Tony nominations under his belt. And yet, he knew the dangers of drug addiction. He knew his life (and his family's lives) would be altered forever because of it. He knew he was an actor known around the world. He also knew that he has three dang kids to love, watch them grow and care for! But he just didn't care. He brought this on himself; he just kept shooting drugs over and over until the day he bit the bullet. And you know what, I don't care.
Honestly, I don't care if he (or anyone else) was a major film star with Emmys, Tonys, Oscars AND Golden Globes. If you have or began to have a drug addiction you just refuse to quit and you have a family that you love and care for, I won't feel sorry for you (and probably your family.) It happened with Anna Nicole Smith; it happened with Heath Ledger; it happened with Cory Monteith; it happened with Amy Winehouse (although it was alcohol poisoning); and it's certainly happening with PSH. (And it's going to happen to other actors who OD too.)
He has been a major film star with lots of talent and a huge amount of genius (that I will respect him for), but he was also a drug abuser; someone I just won't take lightly or seriously. I just won't take it at all. I won't feel sorry for and mourn someone who made a choice to take drugs and die from an overdose; something they decided to do, despite the risks they were told earlier in life and they things they might give up and lose if they OD in the process.
In fact, why should I (or the rest of us) mourn? We didn't know him personally. Just as an actor. We never even met him outside of a sighting and asking for an autograph. It's okay to feel sorry for an actor's family if he/she dies from a horrible disease or Cancer or whatever. But not when he/she dies from OD'ing on drugs (or from alcohol poisoning).
Sorry.
Monday, February 03, 2014
Super Bowl XLVIII: The Top Ads
Because I worked so hard on a review for a really bad Super Bowl, I decided to just show you all five ads I liked very much during the commercial breaks.
#5 - RadioShack: The Phone Call
At first, I thought it was a so-so commercial, but gained on me on how RadioShack has still looked like 1983 in 2013, and finally changed its look, with the help of the defining stars of the 80s, like Hulk Hogan and ALF. Pretty awesome.
#4 - Chrysler: Bob Dylan
A brilliant use of how wonderful America is, with the horses and the cheerleaders and the wrapping flags around your body thing and...stuff. Among other things. Basically just about how their cars are built in America while everything we use doesn't. In a very intimate and wonderful pakage.
#3 - Volkswagen: Wings
VW is at it again. This time showing that when VW car reaches 100,000 miles, one of its German engineers grows wings, a modern take on "It's a Wonderful Life". Although the part I don't like is the part where two engineers are urinating; one pair of wings (or dick) is bigger than the other. That's creepy. The "rainbow butts" had me dying. Really weird, but super hilarious.
#2 - Cheerios: Gracie
The ad featuring the same family from with the cute little girl from "Just Checking", except this time the family grows by one (and a puppy). Such a very heartwarming ad. Oh, and that girl could have a nice career being Donald Trump.
#1 -TIE; Doritos: Time Machine & Budweiser: Puppy Love
These are, respectively, funniest and sweetest ads of the game, and therefore, to me, the best.
Doritos is always known for really stupid men and really mischievous children, and this ad features them both. The man falls for the boy's "Time Machine" that works on Doritos and thinks he's IN THE FUTURE when he sees an old man, thinking he's that boy. Hilarity ensued.
Also, this ad from Budweiser. They're know for very patriotic and/or heartwarming ads, and this has to be one of the most heartwarming ever. It features a golden retriever and a Clydesdale in a very cute friendship. That is, until the GR is adopted, breaking the bromance (or sismance; I'm not sure) until a few more Clydes spell it out to a famrer the and the GR's owner, then letting the two buddies stay together until the very end. If I could cry at this, I really would. Take a look.
Honorable Mentions:
Toyota Muppets
GoDaddy "I Quit"
Oikos Greek Yogurt "Full House" Reunion &
T-Mobile Tim Tebow
And there they are. My top 5 picks for the best ads of the Super Bowl. I hope you like them. I sure have more than the game.
See you later.
#5 - RadioShack: The Phone Call
At first, I thought it was a so-so commercial, but gained on me on how RadioShack has still looked like 1983 in 2013, and finally changed its look, with the help of the defining stars of the 80s, like Hulk Hogan and ALF. Pretty awesome.
#4 - Chrysler: Bob Dylan
A brilliant use of how wonderful America is, with the horses and the cheerleaders and the wrapping flags around your body thing and...stuff. Among other things. Basically just about how their cars are built in America while everything we use doesn't. In a very intimate and wonderful pakage.
#3 - Volkswagen: Wings
VW is at it again. This time showing that when VW car reaches 100,000 miles, one of its German engineers grows wings, a modern take on "It's a Wonderful Life". Although the part I don't like is the part where two engineers are urinating; one pair of wings (or dick) is bigger than the other. That's creepy. The "rainbow butts" had me dying. Really weird, but super hilarious.
#2 - Cheerios: Gracie
The ad featuring the same family from with the cute little girl from "Just Checking", except this time the family grows by one (and a puppy). Such a very heartwarming ad. Oh, and that girl could have a nice career being Donald Trump.
#1 -TIE; Doritos: Time Machine & Budweiser: Puppy Love
These are, respectively, funniest and sweetest ads of the game, and therefore, to me, the best.
Doritos is always known for really stupid men and really mischievous children, and this ad features them both. The man falls for the boy's "Time Machine" that works on Doritos and thinks he's IN THE FUTURE when he sees an old man, thinking he's that boy. Hilarity ensued.
Also, this ad from Budweiser. They're know for very patriotic and/or heartwarming ads, and this has to be one of the most heartwarming ever. It features a golden retriever and a Clydesdale in a very cute friendship. That is, until the GR is adopted, breaking the bromance (or sismance; I'm not sure) until a few more Clydes spell it out to a famrer the and the GR's owner, then letting the two buddies stay together until the very end. If I could cry at this, I really would. Take a look.
Honorable Mentions:
Toyota Muppets
GoDaddy "I Quit"
Oikos Greek Yogurt "Full House" Reunion &
T-Mobile Tim Tebow
And there they are. My top 5 picks for the best ads of the Super Bowl. I hope you like them. I sure have more than the game.
See you later.
Super Bowl XLVIII: The Highlights
Hello football fans!!
I'm Andrew, and this is my review of the biggest (football) game of the year: SUPER BOWL XLVIII!!
Now last year was known as the game of the brothers and the blackout, in which, for the first time ever, the coaches of the competing teams, the 49ers and Ravens, were brothers--John and Jim Harbaugh--
(maybe she caused the blackout, with all them damn lights.)
But this year is something special, because it's held at MetLife Stadium in Meadowlands, New Jersey (although some people actually think it's in New York. Where does New York have a major football stadium, outside of Buffalo?) and the first Super Bowl to be played in a cold wether city in an outdoor stadium. The Denver Broncos of the AFC faced off against the Seattle Seahawks of the NFC. This is also the Super Bowl with the biggest height of security in history, thanks to would-be terrorists, bomb threats and sex trafficking nearly hampering the safety of the playes, fans, coaches, performers, ect. This year has become this most talked-about year in recent memory...and yet, the most boring.
So are you ready for a recap? No? Well, too bad; fire up the worditinis and let's get it started!!
The game began with the ball actually going behind the Broncos and into the end zone. Then it goes back and forth between teams, starting with coin toss winner Seattle Seahawks and Denver Broncos. After a punch in by Marshawn Lynch for the Blue team to get a 2-point lead, the teams go back and forth and back and forth until someteam finally scored: and that was the Seahawks with a field goal to get the game going.
You know what from now on, I'll call the teams the Blonkos
(as in Rook Blonko)
and the Seasponges (you know, like SpongBob)
mo make this boring ass post more exciting. So here we go. As the game progresses, things start to pick up after when Percy Harman runs 30 yards to the end zone, although a flag was thrown. After another kick by the Seasponges for another field goal, #24 runs through the crowd to make the first touchdown of the game, making it 15-0. The game would pick up a little more when after a little while, the Blonkos would try to make an even game, they fail even more when Seasponge Malcolm Smith quickly catches the ball and swims him way to the end for the second straight TD for his school of flying cool. It's 22-0. It was at this point that the Blonkos, their fans the stadium attendees and the 111 million viewers who watched last night are in for a catastrophe of a game, led by the Seasponges and their stinging performance.
In the third quarter, it's the Seasponges dominating and destroying the Blonkos starting with Percy Haron running all the way to the EZ; just 12 SECONDS into the quarter. How awesome was that?? 29-0. Russell Wilson then makes a great throw to Lynch, 19 yards. After slips and slides, #15 Jermaine Kearse makes the run for yet another TD. The Blonkos finally score later in the quarter with 8 points.
You know what? I'll stop there to say that "to me, this was one of the worst Super Bowls EVER." Not in years, not in recent memory, or not even in decades; WORST. SUPER. BOWL. EV--AR. It's so boring and sad, I could turn on a--a test pattern or the old NBC Peacock "In Living Color" bumper or even the Chicago television Max Headroom incident
and either of these would be much better to watch than this. I'm very sorry folks; but even with the exciting highlights, the fact that the Blonk--I mean Broncos barely ever scored makes for bad television. Even if I wanted the Seaspo--Seahawks to win the game. The game ends with a score 43-8.
This was a bad Super Bowl and I'd be happy to forget it as fast as I can. even if I can try to forget Max Headroom too.
And I wish there was another blackout. Now, that would shake the game even more.
And that's my review. Like it? Thanks. Hate it? I understand.
See you next time.
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