Top 15 Worst Pop/Indie Songs of 20Fifteen

2015. Wow.
This year was a great year for music, and I was happy to be there bask in the glory. There were many songs that I really enjoyed throughout some of the genres: Pop. R&B, Hip-Hop, Indie, even Country that I just couldn't stop playing on repeat. And all of these songs are many examples of a more progressive shift into much more great and enjoyable sounds and concept, and made this year really memorable.

Yet at the same time, there were songs that came out this that were memorable for being the absolute opposite. They managed not only to become huge both online and/or on the radio, they also managed to drive me up the wall. With the usual suspects being lazy, uninspired or straight-up lazier copy-cat production; terrible, ear-drum splitting vocals; unimpressive, pathetic compositions; and how popular these song have gotten in social media era public eye.
So I felt it's duty to listen to these songs and choose the ones that are the absolute worst. And of course, riff on them in my way.
So join me, Andrew Duvall Pollard, present to you my choices for the Top Fifteen Worst Pop Songs of 2015.

And yes, 15. This year, I decided to supersize the list because there were more terrible songs to choose from to throw in (and also because this year ended in the number 15), and despite the harder time writing these lists and picking my choices, it was still a good idea and hopefully this will make a better payoff.

Also, of course, this list is my opinion. It's not truly personal; just my thoughts and likeness towards music in general. If you like these songs, that's fine; I won't judge you. I'm just here to give my thoughts on the lowest of this year in music.

So, folks (once again), let's do this!

Top 15 Worst Hip-Hop/R&B Songs of 20Fifteen

As if this year wasn't remembered.
I will say that this year was slightly better than last year. These songs didn't piss me off as much as the abominations I spewed hatred on but they're terrible enough on their own accords to get the Anger Andrew treatment, too.
Also, we now have  Vine to thank for helping shitty, talent-less, uninteresting and truly lyrically vile dreck songs (like what you'll see here) get more popularity power and staying power on the charts than they truly deserved. And because of that, I guess I'm as pissed off as I was last year.

This is my list of the Top Fifteen Worst Hip-Hop/R&B Songs of 2015.

This year, I've supersized this list to include five more slots to choose my picks and voice my opinions on them. And boy, was it deserved. While this year was pretty good in music in general, there still were songs that really grind my gears in some places. Whether it be disgustingly smug and obnoxious artists, horrifyingly asinine, beyond-sophomoric and/or stupid verses, mind-shredding abysmal, way-over-subpar and irritating vocals, or all of them together, this tear has somehow gotten slightly over last year in the horrible meter.

So...let's do this.

SNL Review: Ep. 8--Chris Hemsworth & Chance the Rapper

(Before I begin, I want to apologize for releasing this and the next SNL Review later than I should have. I wasn't in a state to post or even write anything at that time, and I felt bad about doing so, so my apologies. And now...)
WILL FUCKING FARRELL!!!!!!!

I’m sorry, lemme compose myself.
The CO is all about George W. Bush riffing on the bunch of clowns fighting the fake fire in the big top Carniv--uhh, Republican Presidential race.

It was great to see Farrell return to Studio 8H, and as one of his most impersonations. He didn’t miss a beat, ripping into the candidates in his own Dubya humor, and it was brutally glorious. From the moment he walked on stage to a huge applause (which I loved; the gasps from audience members really gave me goosebumps) to saying the catchphrase, this
Also, that nice little mention of The Fugees’ classic “Ready or Not” as his campaign song was awesome. (I wouldn’t mind anyone using it; it just fits that way.)
This is the best, sharpest, and most brilliant CO of the season so far. Which is ironic, because no current cast members appeared in it.

Fave Lines:: ALL OF THEM. But some highlights
“The field of Republicans out there is so messed up, that it makes me figure that you miss me, doesn’t it?”
“Dr. Ben Carson. I can barely hear him when he talks.”
“If you’re injured on the job, please call Rubio & Cruz!”
“When I’m in a bad mood, I just picture his big, fat, orange Oompa Loompa face that I just pissed my pants.” “It’s like saying ‘Let’s keep the Leprechauns out’”
“Jeb. Oh boy. Poor Jeb. You gotta admit, it’s a pretty good plot twist that I turned out to be the smart one.” “I don’t like the taste of broccoli. But it doesn't get any tastier if you call it ‘Broccoli!’.”
“They want someone who’s cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs.”
--
In his second monologue, Chris Hemsworth mentions how he’s gotten more at home since his last gig NINE MONTHS AGO (really; do they love him, because that’s surprising to bring someone back for Round 2 not even an entire year after the first.)

This wasn’t that funny at the start. He might feel at home (like an asshole at that), but I didn’t feel at home watching this. It did get funnier when he reaches backstage--here are a few of my favorites: when he rudely hangs up a call Kate McKinnon made (to Hillary Clinton), his harsh pass of an apple to a scared-as-shit Beck Bennett, and especially him coming close to “playfully” rumble with Leslie Jones--and her close to rumbling for real (“You touch me, and I’ll beat yo’ ass, Chris”), and when he knocks papers off the hands of Weekend Update co-anchor Colin Jost. He picks them up...only to have them knocked off again by his co-hort Michael Che.
All-in-all, this was a pretty good monologue (it was way more entertaining than his last Mono, so I’ll give it that).
--
The Sketch After is from Fox News’ On the Record, where host Greta van Susteren (Kate McKinnon) talks with the three best known Republican Presidential candidates not named Donald Trump--Sen. Marco Rubio (Taran Killam), Gov. Chris Christie (Bobby Moynihan) and Dr. Ben Carson (Jay Pharoah)--with their thoughts on Trump’s recent proposal of banning Muslims from the US and his shenanigans throughout the campaign season. They say nothing.

Ehh. This was a pretty funny sketch. Everyone did great performances here, but the writing behind it wasn’t belly-laugh-ish. I still enjoyed it though, simply.
Also, Hemsworth doesn’t appear here.
--
This Pre-Tape was a scary one. Trust me. I’m not squeamish toward blood, but the quick cuts at Polaski’s injury had me nauseas for a few seconds.
Police Sergeant Polaski is one of the best in the Department. But after a horrible shot to the abdomen, he tries to continue his life...and his refusal to take care of his injury decreases his love of taking down bad guys...and his life.

This was hilarious and enjoyable. And although I came close to puking a few times, I really enjoyed it--especially the increasingly stranger back-and-forths between Hemsie and the still underutilized Sasheer Zamata’s characters.
--
Brother 2 Brother Too: Wrestling Meet
“Oh, brothers!” ”Oh, Gods.”
You know, I didn’t like this sketch the first time, and I still don’t like it now. And thanks to Episode 2, I like it even less.
In this showing, Matty and Marky are into academic trouble again. This time Matty doesn’t want to do a wrestling meet, so (surprise, surprise) Marky takes his place. You can guess things don’t go well...again.

This was a creepy one.
I know this is a gym, and sometimes guys feel okay talking about and comparing their bodies physiques and shit. And I know this is parodying Disney Channel shows. But...it’s not funny. Hell, I got more enjoyment from the tattoo on Taran’s chest. (which is nice.)
There was a chuckle-worthy part where the coach keeps on comparing Marky and Matty’s physiques, and then when they do the “disappearing trick”. Also, I snickered when Hemsie slipped into the door when he entered the gym set. That’s it. This skit was shit.
--
This next sketch is really odd, but I’ll give it props for funny and not being “Brother 2 Brother”.
At a Christmas party, a couple (Cecily and Hemsie) entertains their guests with some classic Christmas songs, but the party goes a little south when they play a song that isn’t very receptive.

I’ll say this a better sketch. the first watch wasn’t fine for me because I still reeled from The “Oh, Brothers” Show. But I kinda enjoyed it with rewatches.
I really enjoyed Cecily’s singing (sounds great for Broadway), and the reactions to said song from everyone else. Also, it would’ve been a little better if they still didn’t know about it; would’ve been funnier. Also, the dangerous drive in the snow was really funny.

Also, unintentional glitches and gags.
-First, a lamp’s light goes out before “Dan” (Taran)’s hand even reaches the switch.
-this little failed camera angle switch (When “Dan” says “What’s happening?!”)
-and, Hemsie was hamming up his pretend-piano-playing, and it clearly showed. In fact, looked less like he was playing it; it looked like he was fucking it. It’s actually cute.

So yeah, I liked this.
--
At a brunch date, some girlfriends are talking about some of the favorite movies that that have hot men in them. One of them keeps talking about Chris Hemsworth and his titular role in Thor. Because she IS Chris Hemsworth.

I couldn't see this plot from a mile away. I can see it from TWO miles away. It was very funny, though (especially the moment when female Hemsie was revealed and when “she” said “Am I right, bitches?”). The only thing that dragged this on was the fact that “Claire’s” friends are too slow to catch on to the fact their “friend” is Hemsworth. Only a couple sessions of them questioning “her” would’ve been enough, but no, three was great for this.
Other than that, this skit was very good.

Fave Line:
“Am I right, bitches?” and
“Ehh, Liam is gross! I heard he was breastfed until he was four.” -Hemsworth
“No! This is bad, and you’re weird now.” -One friend/Aidy
-
I don’t know what this was about.

This wasn’t very funny. But at least Rudnitsky gets some screentime, and it did good enough to keep it from getting truly detestable (that dance is nice)--good for him. Also, I enjoyed seeing someone swing on a rope in the studio. And it has a nice setup. Yeah.
Fave Lines: “I’m Mark, and I keep things fun”
--
I really didn’t like this one either, but it was better to me.
A group of male dancers entertain the ladies at a strip club. Unfortunately, these guys are supposed to be dancing for the GUYS...at a GAY bar.

There wasn’t much for me to love. I did find the comments from the female customers pretty funny, but that’s all.
I assume my writing here was more funnier than the sketch itself. If so, good. This wasn’t funny...at all. I bet even the audience had a hard time laughing at this, too. I mean they could, if they weren’t laughing like hyenas in the other sketches too. (I honestly believe either they genuinely found it funny and I didn’t, or there’s a laugh cue card somewhere in the Studio)

--


I’m gonna guess that a majority of you guys don’t know who Chance the Rapper is.
Don’t worry, I’ll fill you in. Chance the Rapper...is a rapper. There you have it.
Sorry, I kid. He’s a rapper from Chicago who’s actually really good. From the few songs I’ve heard of him this year, he’s quite the lyricist. He has a weird demeanor when he spits and has some really quirky rhymes, but those quirky rhymes are really witty dope. If anything, he sounds like better Lil Wayne than Lil Wayne (at least post-Tha Carter III). Trust me, listen to his guest verses on Justin Bieber’s “Confident” and Action Bronson’s “Baby Blue”, and you’ll leave enjoying him and laughing. That tities line and the lines makes me chuckle every time.

So his performance on SNL had to take his career to the next level. And he killed it.
His presence was a true sight to behold. I enjoyed every second of it.

“Somewhere in Paradise” is a really good song, with witty lyrics and a just-as-quirky performance from Chance. And although I was surprised by Jeremih making a guest appearance singing the chorus, he wasn’t half bad. It kicks up to a fun and exciting modern-day gospel or matching band-like vibe thanks to fellow special guests The Social Experiment. As soon as it started, I knew I would love this one, and I did. While this was a great LIVE performance, It’s just not as great recorded; Jeremih sounds frickin’ terrible, the beat sounds like one you could make on GarageBand, and Chance sounds more creepy and high than quirky and weird; really distressing, even with a rather nice short appearance from R. Kelly. But I’ll say that this live performance here is miles better.

The second song, “Sunday Candy”, is just a joy to watch/listen.
It’s about his grandmother, who is a strong Christian woman who loves his grandson as much as Church, as he loves her, and he tells of her life in his goofy/witty lyricism.
I loved this one. It’s a beautiful dedication to the woman in his life who works hard in her life and gives him joyous, memory-filled weekends when he visits her. Hearing this warms my heart, and give a lovely message: Love and appreciate your grandma, because she loves and appreciates you for what you do in life.

The Social Experiment are a fantastic band, and they did a spectacular job with Chance, making these songs, already great on their own, FANTASTIC. Everyone here did a fantastic job with their positions: Loud, brash horns and amazingly powerful guitars and beautifully voiced background singers enhancing the songs and made them spectacular experiences.
They’re certainly a band to check out.

I love this performance and even though I never gave him a chance until “Baby Blue”, I will say that this rapper is one I think will go down as of the best rappers of the 2010s so far. Please go check out his music; he’s that damn good. His mixtapes #10Day and Acid Rap, and his album Surf with The Social Experiment are available wherever digital files and/or physical copies are sold.
--
Time for an Update:
Part 1:

Part 2:

Jost and Che killed with the bit on Donald Trump’s comments on an immigration ban, proving that after a truly terrible start, they actually have committed themselves to trying harder and it worked.
-

Kate McKinnon stopped by the desk as German Chancellor Angela Merkel, giving her “reaction” to Time magazine naming her Person of the Year for 2015. Pretty much, this segment was so hilarious. Her responses to the painting of her in the cover

(which I also think looks creepy and a little haunting) were sharply sidesplitting.
(“This is like a pile of oatmeal with two blueberries for eyes.”)
Her reaction to Donald Trump calling its choice of her as PotY were also very funny.
“I guess he prefers our earlier stuff.”
I think this was one of the best segments of the entire season. All of Kate/Merkel’s lines were brilliant satire, and gives her yet another memorable performance for this season.
-
Leslie Jones made yet another return, giving her thoughts on the nominations of this year’s Golden Globe Awards. She’s pissed that Breaking Bad isn’t nominated...despite the fact that it ended 2 years ago.

This was also a very funny segment. While her one-liners weren’t as sharply written as the Angela Merkel segment, they were still very funny in the usual “Leslie Jones yelling like a rabid dog in heat about random things” spirit.
“You better get yo ass in the room and juggle them balls, bitch!”
“All I need if an emotional white boy. You wanna be my Jesse, Jost?”

All-in-all, this was a very strong edition this week. A lot of satire hit and hit hard, especially during their shared slam on Trump’s racism. We need more Colin and Michael working together. The chemistry (yeah, I said that) and performances are way more stronger than we ever thought and has taken the segment from the weakest part of SNL (good or bad episode) to one of the strongest. I’d never thought these two guys would make Update enjoyable and actually funny again, but they did it. It obviously took a year or so, but yeah..

Best Bits:
Well, all of them.
Especially their debate on whether or not Trump is a racist.

Really, their being together--it works that way. Just sayin’.


Best Sketches:
Debra’s Time
On the Record
Brunch

Worst Sketches:
Brother 2 Brother Too
Pirate Ship

Best Pre-Tape:
Both
Time to Bleed
and
Star Wars: TFA Commercial
(would’ve added Aron’s List, but that was a repeat, and I already did the last time, so no seconds.)

Wraparound:
This episode was really mixed. The jokes were really weak in some places and strong in others, at least in my reception. But the performances really make them at least palpable.
Chris Hemsworth actually got better than last time. His acting in his first episode was pretty weak, even for a first time. Here, I can actually see he’s gotten an improvement. And it even looks like he’s enjoying himself, too. And I did enjoy that too. The first time, admittedly, I wasn’t enjoying this episode a lot because of the fact that Hemsie and the writing sucked the last time. But here, the writing has vastly improved, and
The cast did great alongside him. Especially Cecily Strong, who gave the most memorable performances in the “Debra’s Time” sketch (She can really using, too), and Kate McK, especially in On the Record and Update.

I admit, I honestly hated it when I watched it live, but it genuinely grew on me after repeated watches. So now kinda really liked it. It's not great (and I was surprised when a lot of commenters on AV Club thought so), but it's not horrible either , especially compared to his first time hosting. I'd watch this again, but maybe occasionally.

But this episode I'd binge-watch (if that was possible).

If Tracy Morgan was the host we were waiting for when SNL returned for Season 41, then these two are the next ones. Yep, ONES. Coming up soon, I present my review of the 41st Christmas episode of SNL, hosted by two of the best female members of the SNL family ever--Tina Fey and Amy Poehler. Seeing Fey return to Studio 8H during Morgan's episode was a super-sweet treat, so her host (along with Poehler) was like the whole smorgasbord of candy. And making the episode even more awesome is the one and only Bruce Springsteen and his iconic E Street Band. I certainly couldn't wait for him to perform any of his/their songs, especially their rendition of "Santa Claus is Comin' to Town", so this was extra special.

I apologize in advance for releasing this reviews late, for reasons I cannot explain, so thank you for your patience in reading these at the end of this year.
Thank you all and good night.

Special Seasonal Short/Long Music Review: The Worst Christmas Songs of All Time (...in Andrew's Eyes)

Well, hello, everyone. And Merry Christmas Eve to you all. And since my Jewish readers have already observed, Happy Belated Hanukkah. And to those of you celebrating soon, Happy Kwanzaa as well.

As you all know, it's the holiday season, and that means decorating the house and tree, buying gifts for loved ones, watching the snow fall, drinking hot chocolate and reminiscing about the past year. It's also the time of year where radio stations across the country suspend regular music schedules to play holiday novelty songs to feed the hunger of everyone listening ad nauseam. But in the sea of songs geared to the one holiday probably everyone loves, there are recordings that we as a nation can definitely do without. These songs contain aggravating music, shockingly incorrect or really dumb lines, irritating performances and/or other reasons to change the station or avoid on the streaming sites. And I thought it was a perfect time to show my thoughts on songs like this. More appropriately, show you my picks for the lowest of the low, the crappiest of the crappy, the worst of the worst. But as merry as possible.

Here are my choices of the Worst Christmas Songs of All Time. ...In My Eyes.

SNL Review: Ep. 7 -- Ryan Gosling & Leon Bridges

Who's the guy who's mesmerized and captivated film audiences for decades?
Who's the guy who's looks have never wavered since his late teens?
Who's the guy who everyone swoon as a fresh-faced cutie-pie since he was a member of the Mickey Mouse Club in 90s, rubbing shoulders with all the other members, including Justin Timberlake, Britney Spears, Christina Agulera, Keri Russel and JC Chavez, and apparently no one will ever make you forget this?
And who is also on SNL this week?



That's right! Leon Bridges.



Welcome to the Review of Episode 7, where I give my thoughts on this, straight-up, the second-best episode of the season so far. Let's get started.

This week's CO is fucking hilarious. Putting it out there.

Taran Killam continues to kill...am...as Trump.
The impersonation, voice and humor is still on point. And the fact that it's still political season and there's still gonna be more of him to go around, makes me even happier.
Plus, I can't get enough of that face.
It brings me joy.
And the writing is just brilliant. It's like the writers' room has it out Trump and can get their creative juices flowing just from their hatred of him, and can make an awesome sketch.
Which they did. It really shows.
Also, shout out to Cecily Strong as Melania, bringing in just as many laughs. She can make a great Melania parody: mouthy, somewhat-ditzy and almost useful. Just a much effort into thuis perfect skit from her as there was from TKill.
All in all, this was a great CO, just as great as--if not better than--their last one from the Season Premiere, and I can't wait for the next time our favorite one-two punching bag of a couple makes their appearance.


All right, I kid. The host this week is Ryan Gosling.
After the open, he performed his first Monologue. It wasn't much; just him discussing his return to his home of New York, when a plant (Cecily, who has to be very fast in the dressing room) interjects that he's actually from Canada.
This wasn't very funny, and seemed like something that should've stayed at Dress Rehearsal.
It's like someone listening to a history buff discuss something, and they react less like "Oh wow, I didn't know that! Fascinating." and more like "Uhh, okay, cool. I guess."

Fortunately, it went uphill from there when fucking MIKE MYERS makes a cameo
"Mike Myers. Where did you come?"
"I live backstage."
and waxes philosophical about the wonders of the holiday season in the Great White North.

This Mono was one I kinda enjoyed. The reasons Myers stated were really funny, the appearance of Bonom Denej was enjoyable, and Gosling's apology for hiding his homegrown roots--in the Canadian tongue--Soary (You know, like those cartoons on TV that say it in the way you cringe from and wonder as to why they say it that way...and by Michael J. Fox in Family Ties?) was hilarious. And I really enjoyed their proud Canadian song, even if the parts where two forced the "ou" sounds in the words for laughs were annoying.
Pretty good continuation here.
--
The Pre-Tape After is something else. It's an ad for a new dating service app called Settl, geared towards women wanting to have an okay.

--
This right here is the FUNNIEST sketch this week. and this season. And maybe even this decade.
So funny, even the host and cast members couldn't make it without cracking up.
It'a about three people (Gosling, Cecily & Kate McKinnon) who talk to special agents of the NSA (Bobby Moynihan & Aidy Bryant) about an alien abduction they encountered. Just watch.

This was fucking hilarious.
This skit was all Kate McKinnon. She came in confident, she played her character like it was easy, and got everyone watching splitting their sides. My God, she was brilliant! While the stories of her abduction are supposed to be scary yet funny, her performance of her character brought it way over the top to straight-up absurdity. It make this immediately the best.
It's clear that the entire cast couldn't keep a straight face, especially Gosling and Bryant, but that made it even better. If anything, it's surprising that they kept it together throughout the duration of the sketch in the first place. Most times they break all the way, and the audience applauds more than once. This here's more nuance, and I give the cast props for it.
Again, this was fucking hilarious and the FUNNIEST sketch this week.

Fave Lines:
Pretty much all of Kate's lines.
--
"Santa Baby"
Doug and Gina are one couple you do not want to talk with if you mention Santa Claus.
No, really, get the fuck out of there when they start talking.

Seriously, their enthusiasm of meeting Ol' St. Nick, especially from Doug, is scary hilarious. (More like scary and hilarious.) What made the sketch off-the-wall was Gosling as an complete fucking psycho at the party. His creepy excitement was so side-splitting, I got scared for my life from this, and I'm a dimension away. Their dance on the table was also hilarious, especially taking from the other party-goers' reactions. And when the host (Beck Bennett) comes down crying dressed as Santa, fearing for his life, I couldn't stop.
One user on YouTube commented so perfectly: "This might be the most well acted and well shot skit/digital short ever made. I love it."
I love it too. Everyone gave great performances--especially from Gosling, the cinematography was amazing--even too amazing at times, and the writing was awesome--it's like I'm watching a scene from a movie. In fact another user also summed it up: ""The Purge" meets Christmas".
This is the best filmed Pre-Tape of this season so far. It's just brilliant.
Oh and at the end, the real Santa's a lucky bastard to leave out the way he did.

From the look on his face, you can tell he's like, "Ho Ho Ho-oh fuck no. I'm getting outta here."
--
In the next sketch, some teenage girls are at the party of Taylor one of their own. And if they thought Tayor's dad was the embarrassing one, then they certainly forgot about Melanie.

Wow, another great one! Just like Kate Mc's stern alien abductor in "Close Encounter", the skit was dominated by one woman. This time Baby Aidy was the star, and she commanded (well, obviously, not as well as Kate, because no one broke here this time). Sure, she was creepy, but she made the creepiness work, especially when she tries to come on very strong to Mr. Dillham. That table crash was also funny.

Oh and halfway through the sketch, Mr. Dillham called Melanie "Morgan" a few times, when it's clearly not Morgan; it clearly was said a few times previously. And even if her name really was Morgan, that does explain why she doesn't many friends or self esteem in the "Girlfriends Talk Show" sketch. And why Kyra is there, too.
Also, some people have saw some similarities to "Ew!" from The Tonight Show, especially in the set.
I'd like to say here, that I don't care.
This sketch was cringing, but still funny.

Fave Lines: All from Melanie
"What in the fat hell are you talking about?"
...
"My dad was born in 1936?"
...
"What nooo, my mom's a bitch!"
...
"Oh yeah, I'm freakin' wet."
Ew.
--
At a bar in his hometown of Cornwall, Ontario, Canada, Ryan Gosling is being interviewed by a reporter for GQ (Cecily Strong). But some guy he used to go to high school with (Kyle Mooney) comes back into his life to torment him again.

Wow, Trevor's voice is irritating. No wonder Gosling didn't want anything to do with him. But the corny voice seemed to make everyone borderline break.

I did really enjoy Gosling's singing and dance, and Trevor's tries to be better than Ryan were hilarious, but to me this sketch was really weak.
--
If you watched the Nespresso commercial featuring George Clooney, Danny Devito that was released recently, then you can enjoy this SNL spoof.

I'm sorry, when I meant by "you can enjoy", I meant "you can enjoy this if you're into people overreacting about some shit before getting one thing."
Seriously, I laughed at first (especially when Devito got tailored--his height looks hilarious!), but then as it continued, it ngot less funny. I get that he's wondering why he's not immediately getting coffee, but just doing some sophisticated crap to look and act sophisticated with George Clooney. But the schtick wore thin as it continued. Then the spit take made no sense. You don't guzzle coffee like that. This sketch was clearly the weakest of the Pre-Tapes this week.
--
Ahh...it can't be SNL in December without a sketch mocking the network's latest live musical special, now would it? This time, it's The Wiz (specifically a scene cut from production), in which our unknowingly fearsome foursome finally meet the Wiz herself...and run into a surprise visitor.

This sketch was a strange one, but it was super funny, too.
The Strange:
First: I really don't know how there can be deleted scene from a live television production if it was possible, but the network recorded rehearsed scenes for promos, so it makes sense and I'll give the producers a pass.
Second: an iPad? I never knew Emerald City was this progressive with personal computers.
Third: if Dorothy never knew what the iPad is, how the hell does she know what the Whip, the Dab and the Nae Nae are? I'll just assume that Kansas in the Wiz Universe (at least in-sketch) is in 2015.
"It's 2015, and we can "

Fourth: The (White) Scarecrow (or any of the other characters) never rode a train in The Wizard of Oz, so that makes no sense.
But I'll give them a pass for twisting both Oz stories around for this sketch...which was funny.

Speaking of pass, the jokes were hilarious:
about The White Scarecrow not fitting in in East Oz, the reactions from everyone else, .
Plus, for some reason, I found the tall Leslie Jones in the Wiz role amusing. It's as if height was the perfect requirement for the role. (BTW, Queen Latifah was tall in Wiz Live!, so this was more amusing to me.)

Plus, Gosling's performance of White Scarecrow, reminiscent of Ray Bolger's iconic role,
was simply amazing; the song and dance he did of "If I Only Had a Brain" really put a smile on my face. and it was refreshing to see Michael Che again appear in a sketch away from Weekend Update, appearing this time as Black Scarecrow. He also did a very good job, along with Jay Pharaoh as the Tin Man and Kenan Thompson as Cowardly Lion. These three were great here, keeping the performances of the three actors of the real thing.

This sketch wasn't hilarious, or the best sketch of the week, but I still really enjoyed it.

Favorite Lines:
"Your hair is wild and wonderful...and your hair--" -White Scarecrow
"DON'T." -Dorothy
-
"[...] Yeah, I have no idea what those words are." -WS
-
"...we did a lot of dancing." -Tin Man
"Yeah, 3 hours worth. Minus about 150 commercials!" -Lion
This is the best joke of them all.
--
The final sketch is one I'm not comfortable with...at least with the characters in it.
You may remember the Elves from the sketch spoofing the story "The Shoemaker and the Elves", where for making the rounds for him, the Shoemaker has to do disgusting sex acts for them (like spank them and fart on them).

--

Goddamn, this guy is so fucking talented.

This guy is this week's Musical Guest, Leon Bridges.
He is a relatively new artist, but in my eyes, I've never heard of him before (even with his appearance on the American Music Awards a few weeks ago). So if anything, I was excited for him to appear on SNL this year, more because of the fact that he's a new artist who needs the spotlight. If it wasn't for being announced as a musical guest, it would've been a damn shame for me...because he's so damn talented.
His classic soul sound and words should make him a star. And apparently if you heard of him for the first time without knowing him, you would've thought you were actually listening to someone like Sam Cooke, Smokey Robinson, Ray Charles and . Yep, it's that retraux (faux retro, or throwback).
So I listened to his debut album Coming Home, and damn, it's like a love letter to classic soul, and brilliantly well-put together. Leon's vocals are perfection; rough as brick, yet smooth as silk. He certainly has the pipes to sing music like this. And as someone who loves and appreciates listening to classic R&B and soul (I have an older sister who jams to it on the radio 24/7), I can say this is an awesome record. It left me a good wreck.

And he's just a great live. Here's his performances of
"Smooth Saillin'"

and "River", where the background singers should get huge mention from their great voices.

These performances were fantastic. The live sound was spectacular; the live band did very awesome, and Leon himself was just spectacular. His voice is just as great live as it was recorded. I'm so in love with these performances, I just want to spend a week watching just that and nothing.
So after listening to him and watching these performances, I'm certainly a fan. I needed someone like him to listen to this year, and now that I have I can make music in 2015 more than tolerable. Thank you, Leon Bridges, for restoring my faith in music.
Leon Bridges' debut album Coming Home is available now. Please buy this--illegaly download if you have to; even if you don't love and appreciate true-blue classic R&B/soul, this is perfect for you. I guarantee you, it's worth listening to.

--

Time for an Update:
Part 1:

Part 2:

After a few super weak jokes at the start trying to bold (seriously, I could barely laugh--apparently, so did the Audience), Jost and Che got stronger doing a joint bit discussing the recent crop of mass terrorism shootings in the US and the priority being not to combat them, but de-funding Planned Parenthood. That was a bold sketch done right, and yet another example of Colin and Michael being much better at the desk when doing a joke together.

Other bright spots this include:
Glamour Magazine reporter Jill Davenport (CecStrong), who would've been talking about the best gadgets the ladies could buy for their men this holiday season, but is too busy coming on thick to Colin. Cecily does the flight, Valley Girl-type woman very well, and made me laugh a lot, if not cringe a lot too. It also make me think.
Leslie Jones has appeared on Update like 10 times, and came on strong like cereal on milk; nothing happened.
This chick is here once, and already had Jost's blazer. I feel like this is a funny comparison, don't you think?

Best Bits:
Ben Carson in Jordan
Kobe Bryant Retiring
Mouse Mingle
""
Kylie Jenner Kontroversy

Solid advice.

Posted by Saturday Night Live on Monday, December 7, 2015

--
How Was the CO?
Unlike Trump himself in the next election, this one wins my vote.

Best Sketches:
Close Encounter (for sure)
The Wiz
honorable mention:
Birthday Party

Best Pre-Tape:
"Santa Baby" (FOR SURE) "GO!! GET!! SANTAAA!!!"

Worst Sketches:
Hometown Bar
All of them were enjoyable to watch and had more than one moment to laugh at.
This did have a good laugh or two, but this was just crap.

Wraparound:
WOW, Ryan Gosling was a damn good host. His performance and range was just perfect.
He played a Midwestern(?) dude after an alien abduction sweetly, a nut-ass doof still believing in Santa brilliantly, an embarrassed teen's dad great, and The SCARECROW amazingly (would make Ray Bolger proud) among others. He really had that talent to do anything the SNL crew can throw at him and do so well. I really enjoyed his performance as host, and I think he should come back next season.
He's never regularly done comedy before then, but he should do more after this episode.
Also, the cast was amazing this time around, but the more noticeable standouts were Kate McKinnon and Aidy Bryant. It's clear that whatever sketches they were in and had the most lines they commanded them well. They
Also noticeable, some cast members either appeared in less sketches or didn't appear at all.
Starting with the King of the Ring himself, Taran Killam, who starred in only one live sketch (the Donald & Melania Trump sketch) appearing in two pre-taped ones, and it was extremely telling. Leslie Jones also did one sketch (She was in "The Wiz") and one pre-tape, while Sasheer did two ("Birthday Party" and "Wiz"). (Not as telling)
I assume they had places to be as of late, and had to downsize to fit their schedules. Honestly, it felt really weird and...borderline uncomfortable too. I guess it makes me kinda miss him taking the show every week. Nah! I do enjoy him a lot here, but not in every sketch.
Meanwhile, sophomorer Pete Davidson and newcomer Jon Rudnitsky were nowhere to be seen.
Probably they didn't have much to write for them this week. Good; Rudnitsky hasn't prove much yet (and probably because of his ""), and Pete Dave is funny, but reaching the heights of other cast members.
I guess with the members shown here, things are more tight and free-flowing; no putting some members over others, just some of the cast we know getting equal or slightly equal time, and making really nice jokes.

ConcluSLoN:
This episode was hilarious, almost through and though.
I really enjoyed the humor, whether bizarre, gross, or tame, this episode delivered on the humor, and I think this is an episode to watch again if you loved it. I loved it, and I think this is the second-best episode of the season so far. While Episode 5--hosted by Elizabeth Banks--was a great episode itself, this one squeaked past it to get the silver. This is one best to enjoy over and over, and not just for Ryan Gosling's looks.

Next week--wow. Didn't this guy last host nine months ago?? And wasn't that episode really crappy to me??
Anyway, Chris Hemsworth returns to Studio 8H to host episode 8, with music from Chance the Rapper (aka a really good rapper with a corny rap name). Review Monday, See you then!

A Special Seasonal Surprise Review: North Pole Down (Penn Zero)

Ho-ho-hi, everyone.

I’m Andrew, and I welcome you to the first of many special Surprise Reviews from Maroon Mondays during the Holiday Season. How special? I’m reviewing Christmas episodes of your favorite cartoons. It’s just like the regular Special Reviews, only more...festive.

The first Review is from Penn Zero: Part-Time Hero (which at this point is probably me just kissing up to the co-creators, the cast and the crew for my love to this show). The episode is not only the first Christmas special, but is also the first of the series, which makes it instantly cool because of how unique that is.
It’s rare that a television series of any kind, let alone an animated series, would begin with an episode that takes place during the Christmas season. But this one did, and it’s a great one.
This episode packs a lot of action, comedy and drama (for lack of not knowing a better term) where you probably don't expect from most action shows. But it's definitely worth watching.

It's "North Pole Down".

THE MISSION:
This episode features a mission Penn thought was the last thing he would ever want, especially considering the circumstances surrounding him: He is Ol’ Saint Nick himself. Along with Sashi as his head elf and Boone as his main reindeer, he has to do--exactly what we all know Santa does.
Meanwhile, in the distance, a group of gingerbread people.

THE PLOT:
It’s truly genius. Despite Penn’s want to skip Christmas without his parents--and over-eagerness to do literally anything else at the time, the plot has him portray Santa Claus to save Christmas FOR ALL THE OTHER KIDS in the world. But after time with his elves, a betrayal by what he thought was a sudden ally, and a sweet talk with his friends while imprisoned, he does have a change of heart and finishes the mission. But there are moments in between that makes you understand why this mission is the worst thing for him.

THE MOMENTS:
This special has many great moments that’ll either make you laugh or cry. Or both.

Let’s start with the moments that make you cry. These are the heartbreaking moments.
For starters, the scene that drives the entire plot: The reveal that Penn’s parents can’t join their son for Christmas. It’s truly harrowing to see our Part-Time Hero break down this way, but it really does tug at your heartstrings, especially if you’ve been in a situation where either or both of your parents can’t be home for the holiday. I can understand.

Then there’s scene where Penn gets tricked by The Snowman.
See, Penn had to have his messed-up MUHU (a device that makes visual contact with friends and family under the proviso as Part-Time Hero) fixed. So a guy called The Snowman comes out during an attack from Rippen’s sugar-plumy army, and says that he knows a way to get out of headquarters safely, just so Penn would have a way to fix it. But as it turns out, he was a mook for Rippen. This puts him, his friends and his workers deep in danger.
Ouch. Right in the gut, through the back.

Then, later on: Penn is in even more turmoil. While finally having the Christmas quota on par for the year, he’s forced into a dilemma by Rippen--ruin Christmas for many kids around the world to talk with his mom and dad, or save it while also giving up contact with them. He does make the latter choice fortunately, but it really hits you right in the heart when you realize that Penn won’t have to talk to his parents on Christmas Eve (or even Day...). It really hurts.
And it’s amazing.

Seriously, everyone involved put so much effort and if these moments won’t make you cry, you have no soul.

I loved the heartbreaking-turned-heartwarming moment: Our Part-Time Hero has to spend Christmas without his parents. And we even see the family still apart on the Day itself.
But the message is wonderfully made clear. Even if your family can’t be together for Christmas, doesn’t mean your family isn’t always there. You’ll always have others with you during the special day: Your friends. (And the family that actually visited during the holidays)

--

Just because this episode had tear-jerking and heartwarming moments, doesn’t mean it didn’t have funny moments either. So let’s discuss some. Here are my favorite moments that made me laugh from “North Pole Down”.

Right out of the gate, the episode (and the series) began with a day in work for our Part-Time Heroes and Villains: at a canyon trying to find a powerful sword. But it took a few tries.
What makes it work for me is the timing of the reveal of the sword decoys and Penn’s ham-iness from taking out the third decoy. I truly get a kick out of that. Also, this:

My Gosh, sidesplitting.
Also, I would’ve make a joke about this, but it seems too late now for it to be relevant…
because the guy’s not a guy anymore.
-
At the start, after the first mission, Sashi, another display of how insanely badass she is, cuts off the head of a fake display reindeer on Penn’s roof. She thought it was it the real thing. And you can feel her confusion. That was scary funny.
I repeat: she’s insanely badass, but at that point, one of those words needed to be bolded.
-
His Uncle Buck and Aunt Rose's Pigeon Egg Diorama

-
Larry’s sweater

--
These Exchanges:
Phyllis? I need a favor. _
“You cannot find date to prom? Don't worry. I will try to find dress.” -Phyllis
“No! No. No. Sorry for yelling. That is literally my nightmare.” _ -Penn
-
“If you don't get the sleigh launched before then [gasps] Christmas will be canceled.” -Sashi
“Christmas canceled?!” -Boone
"Hey, hey, hey. Hey."
[Boone hyperventilating]
“Breathe into the Santa hat, Boone. Breathe.
There you go, nice and easy.
Okay, I'm gonna pet you now, but not in a weird way.” -Penn
-

-
The scenes of Gingerbread Larry eating himself

(come on, if you were made that way, you’d kinda do the same)

[chomps]
“Larry, stop that. People are staring.” -Rippen
“I can't help it, I have so many flavors.
Mmm. [...] Mmm! I'm delicious.” -Larry
“Well, then just quietly eat your arm, okay?” -Rippen
“Yes, sir!” -Larry
--

But, not to be finished, this review can't be such without mentioning the awesome moments of the episode.
And there were a lot. And when I'm speaking of this show, it lives, eats, breathes and sleeps awesome. It could even sleep with awesome, but this is a mostly kids show, so I won't go further with that.
These are the moments of awesome.

-Their first mission, beating Rippen and Larry to return the powerful sword.

-Penn giving up his fixed MUHU (and contact with his parents) to save Christmas, despite earlier.

Coordination, determination, Teamwork and fist-bumping.

So yeah, this special is fantastic and brilliant on many fronts: it’s funny, it’s distressing, it’s uplifting, and it’s a perfect piece for the holiday season. And it’s a perfect way to start a television series. If my first review of the series (Defending the Earth & Number 1, Number 2) didn’t prove how much I love this series, then this (admittedly smaller) review will.

I'm so glad this episode was made, and is a perfect Christmas special to watch for the holiday season.

SNL 41 Review: Episode 6 -- Matthew McConaughey and Adele

Oh Adele, have we missed you.
After three years of being dormant--and your music still being played fondly to the returning sounds of our pathetic cries, you’ve returned to the sound of loud, audible cheers from everyone all across the world. And then came “Hello”, another brilliant song about love, heartbreak and pain. And now, you've returned to SNL after seven years, leaving us mesmerized by your beautiful voice and your real, powerful and tear-jerking music.

Oh yeah, and Matthew McConaughey is also returning to Studio 8H as well, making his return well over a decade since his first gig back in 2003. He's the host. (yay.)

Gravity Falls is Ending

Fallers, you've heard the news, and you've retreated to Sweater Town...but it's happening.
Gravity Falls is ending.

SNL 41 Review: Ep. 5 -- Elizabeth Banks & Disclosure (with special guests Lorde and Sam Smith)

Another great SNL, another sub-par review.

We stand with you, Paris. https://t.co/hqUX4oqWMj

— Saturday Night Live (@nbcsnl) November 15, 2015

This episode began with cast member Cecily Strong emotionally giving tribute to the city and people of Paris, France after a horrible group of attacks that occurred in the City of Lights the previous evening (November 13). The fact that they ditched a usual Cold Opening for something as poignant and emotional as this is absolutely amazing. And Cecily did a marvelous job, performing the Open in English and French (which really overwhelmed me). Plus, she looks really emotionally drained, like she had connections to the country. And the fact she performed in perfect French really strengthened these thoughts. But she did an incredible job, and made it memorable so soon after it aired.
This is simply an amazing last-minute Open and just like the open with the New York City Children's Chorus back on December 15, 2012 after the equally horrifying Sandy Hook Shooting, and of course Season 27’s opening after 9/11, this one really warms your heart and makes you praise SNL for something different after painful tragedies.
God bless you, producers. And God bless you, Cecily.

After the intro, Elizabeth Banks performs what I think was one of the best Monologues this season so far.

After a slow start (mentioning that she starred in The Hunger Games movies), she takes her brief directing career to good use by asking SNL’s director Don Roy King to give the reigns to her while performing the Mono..which was really awesome. (Shout-out to Don Roy King for speaking on the show for the first time. His voice sounds cool.)
She performed “What A Feeling” while calling the shots. And while her voice wasn’t amazing, her “direction” was (the angle changes, the green screen, the star wipes, and the removal and return of Bobby Moynihan in the dancers), and it was funny too. I really enjoyed this Mono, and is calling it the second-best of the season so far.

"Aron’s List" is a Pre-Taped Sketch that made me cringe hard. And I couldn't stop laughing. It’s like Angie’s List, but replace suggested services with sex offenders.

This was painful...ly funny. I honestly thought this was a spoof on something that happened in the past week, but who knows. It really had me dying for a bit, even if I wondered why I did it.
--
Black Jeopardy! 2
Remember that sketch from the first episode hosted by Louis CK? That sketch that felt so stereotypical-ly cringing but hilarious? Yeah, well, it returned this week, and…

OH MY GODS!! THEY'RE BRING BACK BLACK JEOPARDY!!!! #SNL

— Maroon Mondays (@MaroonMondays) November 15, 2015

I was excited.

This edition here was much better than the last. It feels more polished in its near ratchet-ness, and more confident in its dialogue filled with “yes, they did say that”’s and “wow, I feel uncomfortable”’s. Banks did great as the unintentionally-naive and seemingly-uncultured one white contestant trying to score, but failing.

Fave Lines:
“Yeah, I dated a black guy once. So, I don’t see color, it’s just Jeopardy! to me.” -Alison
“Okay, we’ll see how that goes.” -Darnell Hayes
--
“Okay, the answer: He try’na act like nothing happen. (buzzer) Amir?” -Hayes
“Uhh, who is Jason Pierre Paul?” -Amir
“Uh, you damn right!” -Hayes
--
“They try’na act like Jesus don’t exist. (buzzer) Keeley?” -Hayes
“Uhh, what is Starbucks?” -Keeley
--
“Okay, the answer: After everything he did, he try’na act like he don’t owe us an explanation. (buzzer) Alison?” -Hayes
“Who is Bill Cosby?” -Alison
“No. I’m sorry, but no. Correct answer is Tom Brady.” -Hayes
--
“It’s just, as a white person, I’m not really sure how to answer these questions.” -Alison
“Oh, I’m sorry--you’re what? I don’t see color.” -Hayes
--
“We were there. Where were you? (buzzer) Alison?” -Hayes
“Well, it just so happen--” -Alison
“NO.” -Hayes

This was one of my favorite sketches this week, and I couldn't be go from 0 to 100 any quicker to say this.
---
Next, a pre-tape pretty much mocking girl groups (and boy bands) of the 90s with the white female cast members performing “First Got Horny 2U”.
Okay. I don’t know which is more cringe-inducing between them: Aron’s List or this.

On second thought, the horny teenagers over the sex offenders.
Look, this was just hilarious in everything: writing, singing, concept, etc. Even the inclusions of Nessa’s crush on the Melendez Brothers and of Baby Aidy’s pussy crush on Robbie Sinclair from Dinosaurs, of all people/things, were hilarious!
The weider it went, the funnier it got.
This is why we should have the ladies do more musical pre-tapes.
It just works that way.
--

I don’t like this sketch that much, which is now recurring. The Theater Showcase from Woodbridge High has returned yet again. And this time...I can really stand it. The bit is pretty boring, yes, but the jokes were that funny most of the time (I even got the point of it), and the best from this are the reactions of audience members trying to watch without disgust. The points the teenage students made sound good, but the fake angst from it makes it truly hilarious.

This edition was very fine; I did laugh at more jokes than the last time, and got the feeling a lot more, and while I’m still not fond of this one, this was a more progressive effort.
It’ll take a while before I come close to enjoying it, but I enjoyed it this time around.

Fave Lines:
“Oh no, there’s been a death!” _
“Check his license. What is his 'neame'?” -Female Student (Liz Banks)
“It says...The Earth.” _-Male Student (Taran)
--
“Who Run the World” -Beyonce
“WHITES!” -Students
…
“But, why would they do that scene when they’re all white?
That sounded like bragging.” -Male Attendee
--
“Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha.” -Female Student (Aidy)
--
The “See World” act
--
“That was the worst moment of my entire life.” and
“What? I’m her mom. ...I’m not dead! Also, she’s such a bitch to me every day.” -Female Parent
---

This next sketch is based on the probably fabricated stories of the life of Dr. Ben Carson.
The pacing was slow, the jokes weren’t hilarious and I frickin’ hate Carson, but I enjoyed how well-done in concept and satire that the producers and writers did to it. It makes the bit watchable.
--
A middle-aged guy wins a money-spending raffle and goes on the set of a drama series. But he gets more than he bargains for. Including the fact that cast and crew are blissfully-aware sardonic assholes, and that people are stupid enough to believe a fake character is a real sex offender.

While it started off meh, this sketch got better when it cranked up the surprises including the picture of him in a unitard signed by the cast and a promo featuring him being shown during the Super Bowl. Yeah, poor guy. I enjoyed this one a lot.
--
This season saw the departure of writers from last season. One of them was one-time featured member Mike O’Brien, who them went back to the writers’ room a season later. Now, after his leaving it seems we’ll never see his filmed works on the show again.

Well, I wouldn’t be so excited this time. I wasn’t too in love with this film, which follows every other joke on TV these days about Uber.
It wasn’t hilarious the first half of it, the jokes didn’t pick up quickly, and even when I gave patience for it, it wasn’t all the way funny until later on when the valley women and the dick Uber guy went to a drive-through, and he knocks over her drink. That’s when it got funny. And then when they hit a dude and try to hide his body, and become the best of pals, that’s when I enjoyed it.
--
Finally, four women are at a bistro and chat about thing that are “so ghetto”. And then one of them reveals the things she experienced that really IS ghetto.

It’s like the character in this sketch and the one she played in Black Jeopardy are the complete opposite. Had they switched places...we might have some interesting sketches.
Anyway, this was yet another cringing-ly hilarious sketch. The fact that a white woman is revealing that she is actually living in the projects with a poor family and doing things that true trailer trash would revel in is just shocking, but bold. And yet it’s really funny in execution.
The joke at the end with her Uber ride (that’s just a black guy carrying her around in) is just icing on the Little Debbie snack cake. This sketch is so ghetto.

Fave Lines:
"Snitches get stitches, bitch!"
--

This week’s musical guest has had a great big past few years.
One of their songs became a huge hit thanks to the featured artist (who performed alongside them this week) and since becoming mainstays in electronic music.
They’ve now hit gold around the world and prove it with their appearance on the Studio 8H stage. And along with them are two musical hot commodities who themselves took the industry by storm in their own ways (a gay guy with the pipes of an angel and a lady who refuses to confine herself to the mainstream).
It’s Disclosure with their special guests Lorde and Sam Smith.

They performed songs from their second album Caracal--“Magnets” and “Omen”.


Starting with “Magnets”, this song makes me feel some type of way. Hilariously enough, because it’s a song about the dangers and plusses of adultery.

The song is awesome! The tribal sound and explored concept is everything, and hearing for the first time on live television, along Lorde’s saucy, savory vocals (and scarecrow-like dancing) that we know and love, makes this performance so great. The second the song started, I couldn't stop dancing and smiling, and when it ended I just couldn't stop thinking about it (that is until the last performance came).
I really hate song about cheating unless they have actual effort and a great beat it balance the crap within, so this is a major exception. Gosh, I wish I heard this a long time ago.
I seriously love this song and performance.


Just like their second play “Omen”.
I admit, I just wanted to watch to see Sam Smith sing on the show again. He didn’t disappoint.
The song is a sequel of sorts--it reunites the brotherly duo and Smith after their equally-cool first collab “Latch” in 2012. And darn it, reunited really feels so good.
The House beat and Smith’s vocals mesh very well and provide a very good feeling every time you listen. So listening to it live feels like an event.

These performances were spectacular. I enjoyed the performances of Lorde and Smith, and Disclosure’s enigmatic experimental sounds were absolutely brilliant to hear, especially live. (And if you think this is great, check out their other live performances like their Amex Unstaged on YouTube) I truly like this group and I believe these guys will be huge stars soon after this performance.
Disclosure’s second album Caracal, which features “Magnets” and “Omen”, is available now.

Also, if you haven't noticed, throughout the bumpers, the SNL logo (in both its full and abbreviated names) was colored in the colors of the French flag, in honor of the victims and survivors of the attacks in Paris, along with the city itself and its citizens. And as you have noticed as well in the Disclosure bumpers, the word "Review" in the bumpers along with the names of Lorde and Sam Smith, are colored in the colors of the flags of other countries that were ravaged by tragedies in that same day--
Mexico (shootings),
the West Bank,
Beirut, Lebanon (bombings--it was on the 12th),
Japan and
Baghdad (market truck bombing),
along with the French flag. It's such a shame these attacks happened and are more examples of the disgusting nature of terrorist trying to destroy the liberty and freedom of all in free countries across the world. We know that with our continued strength and and perseverance in standing up--tall and strong--to our enemies, they are failing.

Time for an Update:
Part 1:

Part 2:


I don’t know what was up with this week.
The jokes were either pretty funny or really trying to be edgy, with no middle ground.


Wraparound:
There were some consistently great humor, dialogue and performance this week. And considering that this came after the Donald Trump episode, even if it sucked, this one would automatically be made better than that. Only one sketch truly faltered--the Young Ben Carson Sketch, along with the Bruce Chandling segment from Update.
I laughed really hard, I enjoyed the balance between cast members in sketches, and
Banks was on her A game and really showed it in the sketches. She really had range in her characters, and you can truly feel diversity between them. She seriously is so well utilized her, that I’ll call her the best host this season. Yep, better than Tracy Morgan, better than Amy Schumer, even better than DONALD TRUMP!!
Also, Disclosure with Sam Smith and Lorde frickin’ killed it. No words.
ConcLuSioN:
I really enjoyed this episode. I think this was the second-most enjoyable and truly funny episodes so far. And if I wasn’t a fan of Amy Schumer, this would’ve been my favorite.
I laughed, I laughed again, I laughed hard, and I really enjoyed all the way through (outside the Carson sketch. [Seriously, screw that guy!])

Well, the last episode in November 2015 is coming this week.
Mr. Alright-Alright-Alright himself, multiple-award-winning actor Matthew McConaughey makes his return to Studio 8H in over a decade for his repeat as host. But you won't be watching for him, right? You'll check out Adele making her return to 8H performing "Hello" and some other song. I don't blame you. (Gee, this part of this season is all about second appearances, don't you think?)
Review next week. See you then!!

SNL 41 Review: Episode 4 -- Donald Trump & Sia

If seeing Tracy Morgan's triumphant return to Studio 8H was the moment we all wanted to see this year, then this is the complete opposite. This was something we all never asked for, never wanted and never wished on our worst enemy. But we all have it, and it's Lorne and the producers to blame. Thanks, guys.

But I'm in a good mood. This season has been really good, writing and performance-wise, with some minor hiccups here and there, so I'm not complaining too much. So I won't let Donald Trump ruin my vibe going on. I mean, he's funny and entertaining at times, and can be less of an annoying ignorant jackass of a politician.

So let's do this.




A wiseman once said, “Frustration is the result of failed expectations.“.
Another wiseman once said, “Be wise today so you don't cry tomorrow.“.
A third wiseman once said, “You shouldn't throw stones if you live in a glass house and if you got a glass jaw, you should watch yo mouth: cause I'll break yo face.”
And a fourth Wiseman once said, “You know Flip flops are my thang.”


But if what we're going into today is any indication, it's clear that the host of this past week's SNL isn't much of a wiseman. At least since he ran for President.
The man we're discussing is Donald Trump, who this year has become more controversial than the last few seasons of Family Guy, Madonna post-Music, and any of Harmony Korine's movies combined (and it's clear that none of these are worth batting eyes for), what with his illogical policies, incorrect and racist comments towards Mexicans and immigrants in general (among other races), his childish and pathetic rants toward his fellow Republican candidates (among others), and the many other reasons why it's clear that he wouldn't (and shouldn't) be our 45th President. And yet, there are people out there who love his every word, thought and presence, and want him in the White House. And a reason why NBC has welcomed him back with open arms with this long return to Studio 8H for this quick gig of hosting Episode 4.
But it's obvious: the ratings, the revenue, and the potential popularity this show needs. I don't blame them for that. But I do have a problem in that they're stooping this low for potential eyes toward this episode. That they’d go this far for headlines on TV, social media and in print. It's baffling and even sickening.

Lemme get you in on a little secret: I used to like Donald Trump. He was a cool, upstanding, witty, smart and sometimes endearing man (at least when I didn't know of the reprehensible crap he did years ago).
And then he announced that he was running for president, and all of that went down the drain. And now, he hosting Episode 4, something not many people asked for and will only begrudgingly enjoy when it's over.

The opening is on a Forum televised on MSNBC. Host Rachel Maddow talks with the three Candidates we still know about including the two we still care about.

After a couple questions with Martin O’Malley, the sketch changes immediately to Hillary Clinton (I thought she was making more of a small Ellen impression) and Bernie Sanders.

This was boring as all hell. The pacing was slow. The jokes were not very funny or strong. I nearly fell asleep before the end. I mean, what is there more to say?
It’s clear that Wheeler/TKill weren’t going to be there that long, so let’s skip him. Cecily did fine as Rachel Maddow, but let’s skip her too.
Kate McK/Hillary was not on her/her A-Game since the last time. You can feel it in her voice as the jokes were a little limp like her trying to sit in, but she still did good in performance.
Lastly, thank the Gods Larry David returned to save this sketch. It wasn’t his fault I didn’t laugh as much this time because of the boredom and weakness going on throughout, but fortunately, he was good in keeping our spirits up. Also, I got a good kick out of his rendition of the show’s catchphrase “Live from New York, it’s Saturday Night!” by just giving up and stopping halfway with “Eh, you get it”, driving home his “I don’t give a damn, I’m old” parody of Sanders’ behavior.
Overall, if David wasn’t there as Sanders (which wouldn’t have been a possibility anyway), this CO would’ve been horrible.


Donald did his Monologue, and...while it’s what you expect (him talking about himself, his running for President, his business, yadda yadda yadda), it wasn’t all the way bad.
I surely got great kick out of him mistaking Aidy Bryant for his long-suffering nemesis Rosie O’Donnell (I couldn’t ), TKill reprising his role impersonating him (still good) and announcer Darrell Hammond also reprising his role as Trump, which I really enjoyed. But I truly enjoyed David’s appearance during it, poking fun at this: a Latino advocacy group protesting Trump’s hosting gig will pay $5,000 to anyone attending the Live taping in the gist that they will heckle or blast Trump during the show (obviously, that didn’t happen outside the Mono, but I’d really love it if it did). David did that, and the group’s leader said in a statement “Joke or not, ”
Anyway, this wasn’t a terrible Mono. Boring, but was nice to see.

The Sketch After wasn’t so kind.
It takes place in the White House in 2018, at a time where Trump actually won the Presidency.

It was boring, the writing was weak at points, and the performances had not much brevity going around. Things got better as it progressed, with some pretty funny lines and performances. The reveal that his worker is Omarosa (a woman notorious for kissing up to Trump, and no one else, and someone we despise) is one of them.
Plus, it didn’t end on the joke where there were flying pigs or someone asking if others feel a chill in the air. I did hope for that. Oh well, Other than that this skit was pretty meh. And it was clear that the producers were willing to pander to Trump, and the writers really gave their part too.
For Christ’s sake, he(actually, Lorne) vetoed some sketches and they relented. That says so much.


In this Pre-Taped Sketch, the girls rule! And will do whatever they want, no problems, no repercussions. So what if they...fill up a free cup of water with lemonade, leave a pint of ice cream at the bread aisle or stomp the trash can to not take it out?
They’re grown-ass women, and they take no crap from anyone!

Okay, that was hilarious! Even if the song they used as inspiration for it is more than three years old, it made great effect at making a hilarious subversion of the women we see here. Nothing like what was implied. What all the women did was hilarious, thanks to the song playing in contrast, proving that not all women on Earth stick to restrictions and play by the rules. They live on their own creed. So leave it to them to pay a tip at 20% for shitty service, or get off a busy elevator at the second floor or… ...that.
--
In this next one, Trump decided to take a load off from this one and decides to watch it (a little ditty about a couple celebrating their honeymoon in Italy) like we did from behind the scenes, Live-Tweeting the skit in the process. This little development was interesting, but the result wasn’t as much.

I did enjoy the reactions from the cast, as they wonder what Trump has said about them on Twitter, while soldiering on with the sketch. Also, while the tweets are childish and sophomoric, I can say that the humor from it was the tweets. It’s all based on Trump’s twitter life, which may or may not be more nuanced than what you see here, along with the fact that The Donald is revealing his true colors about the cast (which may or may not be true).
This sketch is the better of the sketches. After a rewatch, I admit I found it more funnier than the last time, and the tweets aren’t as repugnant or repetitive. Whatever.
--
You remember “Hotline Bling”, right?
That song by Drake with the video that went viral thanks to his corny dance moves, spawning memes, gifs and parodies? Well, it got the SNL treatment, where Drizzy (Jay Pharoah) defends his moves and is quite proud of them, with help from some old guys who do the same thing (but are labelled as bad at it).

Okay, I truly enjoyed this more now than I did the first time. It was funny when Drake defended his moves by doing some even cornier moves, and the old guys did the moves similarly based on them.
I admit, I enjoyed Trump appearing in the sketch, where he even said the famous part of the chorus. And the biggest surprise was seeing Martin Short appear in it, reprising one of his famous characters, Ed Grimley! I don’t know a lot about him (besides being a very weird man), but it surprised me very much, and I damn well enjoyed that too.
This was a really good (and very funny) spoof that’s well-deserved.
--
Rock Band
Ugh.

This was boring, not funny and really stupid. I don’t know why this got cleared after Dress, but apparently this was a hit with the producers. Or maybe it was the better of other sketches that were even more horrible. I don’t know.
--
I don’t know why this happened.
Before Sia's second performance, Trump talked a bit with a crew member about his last hosting gig, where he introduced Toots and the Maytals, with a screen showing the band's performance. Then Toots himself appeared.

Who thought this was perfect to air? Why? I don’t even know. Seriously, watching this frustrated me and left me puzzled. Why this aired makes no sense.
Also...does anyone remember Toots and the Maytals? Are they still relevant?
--
The Former Porn Stars return once again in the final sketch of the episode. And I'll start my thoughts by saying this is one of the better sketches.
They are endorsing Donald Tramp--I mean Trump--I mean Tramp. And of course, malapropisms and hilarity ensue.

Even if it was the same concept you see over and over, it's still hilarious to watch. So, I won't get into specifics.

I had a big kick from Moyni as Ronald McDonald McTrump, especially with his vocal impression of Tramp. Taran does a great job himself as him, but this was just as impressive.
Overall, this wasn't as great as previous installments, but it I can enjoy this better than...the last ones.
--

Sia has also returned to 8H for her repeat performance on the stage. She’s not joined by Maddie Ziegler this time--but I’m sure she’s a star in her own right thanks to her (and Shia LaBeouf, but enough of that), so great for her. Instead, in her stead is an older woman doing the same interpretive dancing as before (except no one is laughing at it) and is probably on her way to success herself.

After her mini-freak show, this would’ve been a downgrade, but I’m not judging the performance on just that.

She performed two songs from newest album--her seventh, This is Acting.
And like the last time, she knocked it out of the park.
She has a wonderful raw and real voice (which I first mistook for Rihanna during her beginnings), and she sounds much better performing live. Which is why .

Here's "Alive".

I just love the way she sang the "I'm still breathing" line. The crack in her voice sounds so nice during that. Also, I enjoyed the vocals of the background choir singers behind her. I know her voice is brilliant on its own, but their inclusion was a lovely touch, too. What wasn't lovely, though, was the incessant cuts of the camera back to Sia, when the point of the performance is to show the dancer. Since Sia doesn't show her face (which is covered by anything she'll throw over her head), we must look only listen to her singing and at other things in her performances. Sure, she wasn't that great, but that's the point
Also the eyes on her cheeks and the big-ass blue bow were really distracting.

And finally, "Bird Set Free".

This song is about one's insecurity and weakness, failing to speak its mind in a world of cruel people and disappointment, until the time comes for one to have the strength to speak and feel content with its now-open voice. I enjoyed this a lot. Sia's vocals had that emotion and intensity busting out, and you can feel them seeping in inside. The lyrics well represent people with problems of self-esteem and self-worth, and tells them "You can say whatever you feel, and be content with yourself. You just need the strength, and you have it."
Plus, the dancer does a much better job here than during "Alive", perfectly encapsulating these personal problems of human life in art form. I felt like tearing from watching it.
This was the better performance of the two, and I say well done to Ms. Furler for another brilliant SNL set.

Time for an Update:
You know, usually when a episode aired last season, it's usually said most of the time that Update is among the worst offerings,. Not anymore, as it has gotten better. And since this episode has been crap, it has to be better, and it was.

Part 1:

Part 2:

Wraparound:
Last time he hosted, he was funny, and took every sling at him in stride and jest. And watching it back then, I really, really enjoyed

#AttackAtSpringValleyHigh: S.C. High School Student Forcefully Removed by Sheriff's Deputy; --- "I Think BOTH Parties Are Wrong in the Situation"

I know I'm late on this, and that I may have different opinions on this article, but here it goes anyway.

You know the incident in which a sheriff's deputy assaulted a student (while in her desk seat) as classmates watched at Spring Valley High School in Columbia, South Carolina.
In the video (now of several taped in the class at the time) that went viral, Deputy Ben Fields, working as the school's resource officer, was seen struggling with a female student after she refused to leave her classroom. He then knocks he over to the floor, and yanks her out of her seat. This caused Fields to lose his job and be shunned into controversy.

Here's the clip that started this mess.


Here's what I think: I think both parties are wrong in the situation.

Fields (obviously) did wrong by using force to remove the student from her seat. He shouldn't have done that at all, and should've stayed calm and asked for anyone of higher authority to help take care of this in a more dutiful and sane manner. But he didn't do that, and because of his actions, he deserved to get fired and at least some of the backlash he received on social media. I don't care if the deputy did his job, or that he isn't like other police officers who did brutality in similar ways; she's still a child, and what he did was wrong!

On the other (yet same) hand, the student is also wrong.
She was asked by her teacher to put her cellphone away in class and do her schoolwork. She decided not to and continued anyway. She did wrong by being defiant. Plus, she started the mess with Fields by punching him in the chest area while he had to do his job (at first).
Did she deserve to have herself thrown backwards to the floor in her desk like that by a police officer? Hell no. Did she deserve to get punished for not doing what she was told. Hell yeah! So in a way, she got herself in this debacle, and does deserve some criticism for her actions, as well as indirectly causing a police officer. Had she not stayed to herself and listened to her teacher in the first place, she wouldn't have gotten herself flung backwards like somersault gymnast at the Olympics, and hit the floor harder than Michelle Williams on 106 & Park.


I have a theory or two for all of you:
If a black police officer was in Officer Fields' position, would there have been as much controversy as there have been from this incident? If you said "yes", then you really haven't been paying attention. Sure, the guy would've been fired, but that would've happened after days of defense and sympathy toward the officer for just doing his job and the girl getting criticized for not following directions or listening to someone of authority.
And if this happened to a white girl instead of a black girl like it did here, only white viewers of the news and social media would be truly outraged, with only some black people joining in on the backlash.

In the end, this school police officer is out of a job,
and this student is a fool for sticking to her guns.

Police Brutality has officially reached ridiculous levels.

S/LSR: Hotline Bling

Hey, folks.
Welcome to a (relatively) special edition of Short/Long Song Review, where I don't review the song in question (well, mostly), but the music video of said song. This video is of a song that I kinda don't like right now. Also, no lyrics or lyrical analysis posted this time around. Because as you read more, I hate the song lyrically.
It's the latest single by Drake that's climbing up the charts to be another "hot" hit.
It's "Hotline Bling".

Short/Long Music Review: Diddy - Dirty Money Edition

Hello everyone, and welcome to a special edition of Short-Long Music Review.
Today, I'll be reviewing three songs. But here's the twist, all of them are by a group made up of one rapper and two backup singers who become amazing co-stars in their own right.

This idea came to me one early morning back in August when watching an episode of Chowder. (Don't ask what it was or what I was doing.) So I've decided to create this seemingly random edition of Short/Long...for no reason. So let's get started.

We all know Sean Combs (aka Puffy aka Puff Daddy aka P. Diddy aka Diddy aka Puff Daddy),
rapper, entrepreneur, liquor connoisseur, and all-around money grabber.

But did you know he was a member of his own music group? Yes that actually happen, and thanks to me, you now remember about that again.
Today, we’re taking a look at one of the most popular, successful, and yet most quickly forgotten music groups of the 2010s. (And trust me, they came and went as quickly as this post)
Today, I, Andrew, present to you this special edition of Short/Long Music Review on Diddy - Dirty Money.

After his last album Press Play, Diddy did-cided (heh) to take his career to the next level--by creating a group featuring two female singers (Kalendra and Dawn Richard) and begin production on a concept album, Last Train to Paris. This album, their only production, featured a style and technique different from the Puff’s original style, and incorporates Dance and Europop with Hip-Hop and R&B, creating a vibe in music that probably hasn’t been seen in the mainstream before, and setting the tone for many other artists to come.

Three of the songs featured here
"Hello Good Morning",
"Ass on The Floor",
and "Coming Home"
were the group’s hit singles from Last Train, and have probably become staples in the club scene since. (I really don’t know; I obviously never went to the club when these songs came out, and I don’t think I will for a while soon after.) I thought they were fun to listen to as a kid, and I still think so today. They still hold up well as dance tracks, too, since these songs were popular because of their choruses more than others.
So let’s get to it, shall we?

We’ll start off the review with “Hello Good Morning”.

Looking at these lyrics, you would think I would know what they are and that I know them by heart. But I don’t. The way Dirty Money using their lyrics sounds like mangled gibberish, with a few sentences I could grasp. This is all I could pick up from the first time:
“Cause I be hangin’ at the bar,
I be paintin’ up the SARS,
all the girls gonna gimme mo’ fries/
Twenty-five on tha bag,
got me somethin’ on they ass,
And they mad cause I just got flies”
--I’m not saying that they can’t sing right, but that doesn’t make sense.
“Got’cha boyfriend chillin’ like a groupie/
Ya know (x3) we on that”
That’s a strange way of saying “I’m taking your girlfriend”. But...okay. Still wrong.
“HGM (x2)...
Hello Good Evening/
You blow...
You feenin...
'Cause you know...
...that you really need it”
Okay...what the hell was that? This three-minute song is something I didn’t expect much. Most of the lyrics feel less like verse and more like a chorus--an ever changing chorus. And that’s sad when you actually pay attention to this track.

But...when you don’t pay attention to it... it works amazingly. The beat is perfect to dance to and keeps a great party/club-like vibe going from start to finish. And the catchiness of just one short lyric repeating over this song somehow makes it even better. When you start to listen to this, you know to get up and move--and when it ends, you leave feeling good and excited. And in that regard, this song works great.
It sucks when actually listening to the lyrics, but rocks when you don’t and just dance to it.
It’s a two-sided coin that works in this song's favor.

There is also a version featuring Rick Ross and TI that’s just a great, with lines from both rappers that I actually enjoy.

And now, let’s get to their next single, “Ass on The Floor” featuring Swizz Beatz.

In terms of concept, the chorus makes no sense in relation to it and the lyrics. If this is a song about a bad relationship and heartbreak, shouldn’t the title and chorus reflect that? All I can get from this is that it’s a song about going to the club and shaking your rump, and then about breaking up with someone who’s a motherfucker. For all I know, this could be about some woman (since DM is singing the lyrics) breaking up with a guy-”the motherfucker”-and then going to the club to forget about her breakup and her heartbreak. At least, from that perspective, that could make a lot more sense. But it’s not, because everything is not matching.

--Because no one wants to look at human waste? Or...

Anyway, let’s get serious here. This song is, to me, really good.
The hip-pop beat (yes, “hip-pop”--a genre term I want to use to refer to songs featuring both pop and hip-hop) is absolutely bombastic; the use of drums give a high amount of energy and excitement, and Swizzy’s chorus only adds to the fun. Diddy also rounds it out putting up actual energy we can notice (actually sounding like he gives a damn) and still puts in a great bit of swagger, class and power into his verse. And DM’s vocals are beautiful and show off their own personalities while singing their verses about one girl getting her heart broken by a motherfucker.
And speaking of that word, my only gripe of this is the fact that all members of D-DM say the word “motherfucker” in all their verses. It’s really annoying and nearly ruins the tone of the song. I already got the message--I feel your pain; I don’t need you to hammer in one word at the end of your lyrics. It nearly kills the entire vibe hearing one of the Seven Dirty Words You Can’t Say on Television said 8 times throughout the track (which now I think of it, is pretty amusing.)
Other than that, “Ass on The Floor” is a very fun, very-well-written, very-catchy and very-enjoyable song. And because of that, I find this the better of these songs.
Only the better, because we now reach the best single this short-lived group had to offer.

This is “Coming Home”
featuring Skylar Grey.

This song definitely can be a powerful and empowering tune.
As it plays, a story is told about a man who lives his life in sin and makes many mistakes, breaking the relationship between him and his family. But with compassion, begging, some money, and love, the relationship has mended and is stronger.

So, what's there to love about it?
Diddy's vocals are not only great, but also retrospective. He details his life, his career, his kids and his former significant lovers, with the pain he has given to them and other people in his life shown in full detail. And after bouts of heartbreak, regret, and change, he becomes a better man and goes to change his life in the eyes of his loved ones for the better.
Skylar Grey's vocals in the chorus is glorious. The soft, meek weakness in her voice fit the song amazingly, and give it a layer of sincerity and vulnerability to it. And, even though they've been shunted to the background--saying only a few words throughout the song, and probably sang the chorus along with Grey (although I really couldn't tell), they do a great job with their vocals as well.

So, this song is certainly the group's best song, and one of the best songs to be released in 2010.

And these are the three songs that brought Diddy - Dirty Money to huge success around the the world, both commercially and critically. All of these songs are great in their own ways--they're fun to listen to, with dope lyrics that are actually written well, and the swagger and sex appeal that Diddy carried from his classic are oozing in these tracks. I loved hearing these songs back then, and I still love them now.

I had no idea the group was created in 2007, and lasted for about 5 years until it disbanded in 2012; because all I knew about it came from 2010-12, with all of the creation happening so quickly to keep the Didds relevant. And it worked thanks to the result and impact.

I’ve enjoyed their songs and their appearances on TV: from Saturday Night Live to the BET Awards to American Idol and more.

The music they spotlight is a lovely change and it shows: different vocals, different genres and different everything. And it’s a nice change for me from the crap gansta rap and ghetto trash-bag hip-hop we've been exposed to for so long at the time. Ans I'm happy to have been exposed to them as I did years ago.

So I salute Diddy - Dirty Money for being a great group for giving us great rap/dances jams, and getting some actually needed success--commercially and critically--in the process.