Hello there.
So I was marathoning House of Cards just in time for its third season being released, when I jumped onto Twitter (not this blog's page, which is questionably quiet, although I wish I was there; but my personal page) and saw some this.
Everyone (and I mean everyone) has been talking about this dress since late last night. And it has me asking this question:
Just look at these stupid titles from some articles at some of the websites
"An Expert's Lessons From the Dress" -Slate
"The Dress That Broke the Internet, and the Woman Who Started It All" -TIME.com (Freaking TIME!!)
"What color is The Dress?: The Science Behind the Social Media Debate" -CBSPhilly.com
"The Science of Why No One Agrees on the Color of This Dress" -WIRED
(Neil DeGrasse Tyson is facepalming at this point)
"The Dress is Blue. Here's Why" -TODAY.com (This was listed under HEALTH)
Okay. Here's the thing: why are people talking about this?!?! It's a picture of a dress.
How could this turn everyone into mindless zombies spouting random colors after seeing it? Why should we care about it?! Why is this a legitimate trend?!
Everyone has been going apeshit over it. Even my own family has been talking about this! Even I have been talking about stupid little dress!
Last night, my brothers and I were talking about it, and they were surprised about it. And I was surprised Just hours ago when my sister and I looked at it (we thought it was), my little brother looked at it too, and said that it was actually (and I quote) Tan and a Gold-like color. And he was serious, too.
Here's my thought: I don't see it. I don't see the appeal of this. I don't understand how everyone has gone bananas over a picture of a dress. I do understand that some people have different visual perceptions, and can see something in a different light. And in this case, light is important. But, I don't get this at all. I mean, I've seen some truly goofy trends on Twitter (and now Facebook), but this is like, downright bizarre.
I mean, I feel like this is some parody or satire of Social Media trends that could be used on Saturday Night Live or Key & Peele or Portlandia, and everyone is in on it. I'm serious; that's actually how I feel about it.
I mean I could say this is funny because of how absurd this is, and how looney everyone has become thanks to it. I could laugh at how a dress brought together a nation in crippling togetherness. And I also could laugh at how annoying it is that everyone is still talking about it. So yeah, this is funny. In a creepy, uninteresting and sad way.
Fortunately, this trend ended as quickly as it started. Unfortunately, that was because of the shocking death of Leonard Nimoy, best known as Spock from Star Trek: The Original Series, its spin-off films, and the 2011 reboot film.
This tweet really summed up this entire two days in less than 140 characters.
Hey remember when we all got obsessed with the color of a dress and then Leonard Nimoy died?
Happy Funday Friday, everyone. Well...
This took the nation by storm is just a few hours. And it puzzles me.
Two llamas running across a neighborhood. And that's it.
They escaped an enclosure in the Phoenix suburb of Sun City, AZ, and ran across the surrounding neighborhood. The two were chased by authorities for more than 30 minutes until they were tied in by lasso, captured, and sent back to their enclosure.
Here's video from local station KPNX--12 News
and from freakin' CBS News!
Everyone across social media just saw this, and then made it trend HARD. Including memes...
and parodies.
This lasted almost all of yesterday. I just so happened to check it out on Twitter just minutes after the out-of-nowhere event happened, causing me to scratch my head in befuddlement, and make a bunch of faces in exasperation. Like this.
and this
and this
aaannd this
Well, I didn't find it bad. I found this as funny as everyone else, and in a way, really cute. I used to find a big appreciation for llamas while watching Jimmy Neutron and The Emperor's New Groove, but now, I makes me want to buy a llama and raise it as a pet. And maybe even as my personal transportation. Nah, that would be crazy.
This story has become a big talked-about story for most of yesterday, and seemed to be only the end of an odd week of goofy trends.
That is until...this happened.
So...this happened earlier this week.
On her E! show Fashion Police, during a special episode on the looks of everyone going to the 87th Academy Awards, Rancic to aim at Disney Channel star Zendaya Coleman, who wore a simple, flowing white gown. But it wasn't the gown she joked about. It was her hairsytle. Zendaya wore dreadlocks tied in her hair for her look. So this is what she said:
After deserved backlash from many (assumedly including her fans sending tweets to her as if she'll notice), Zendaya hit with this peaceful yet damning response on her Twitter page.
Things would only get worse from there as her co-hosts reportedly want her fired from the show, and wants E! to remove her from all of its' programming. Here is this list of tweets from Kelly Osbourne (which I assume she made when she was angry, because the spelling is shit):
I DID NOT MAKE THE WEED COMENT. I DO NOT CONDONE RACISM SO AS A RSULT OF THIS IM SEREIOULSY QUESTIONONIG STAYING ON THE SHOW!
So Guiliana apologized again on her other E! show E! News in this recorded message:
Man...This is stupid. I mean--this was a joke, but a joke out of taste. I usually think of Guliana Rancid as a mature, nice, hard-working woman. Sometimes. Sure, she can make jokes about people as much as she wants and pleases. And if she made a joke about Zendaya's gown, I would care less. But this is about her hair. A stupid joke that shouldn't have been said, in any way or form. Screw it being racist; it was just stupid! And another thing: What the hell does she know about what hair smells like? Has she used SoftSheen Carson or Dark and Lovely or Alberto's V0-5 or Herbal Essences sometime in her life and remembered the aroma? Another point is that she's trying to turn up the edge in her jokes after the death of Joan Rivers. That's the only things I can think of that makes sense.
I mean, what kind of joke is "I feel her hair smells like petrouli oil"? Everybody's hair smelled like pertrouli oil at one point in their lives! So this joke is moot as hell. I don't think it was racist because everyone uses oil or oil-based products in their hair every once in a while, and it wasn't that funny to me anyway. I don't find most jokes on Fashion Police funny anyway. Oh, and I don't think she needs to be fired. It's fucking Fashion Police, people!! The co-hosts make stupid jokes on a lot of celebrities all the time. Someone's gonna whine their ass off about a shot at their favorite actor or starlet every other week like it's fucking memento. And this is just one of those times.
It was very smart of her to apologize to Zendaya. Even if it was done at the insistence of Kelly Osbourne, she still did a smart thing doing this. (Also, I think it makes sense that Kelly was doing this to save her own face while throwing Guiliana under the bus, because she wants no part of it; I wouldn't any part of this my damn self) Sure, Joan would've been unapologetic, but that's what she's known for. Guiliana has NO excuse whatsoever. Should she not beg forgiveness, she would've joined Brian Williams in the suspension line, or maybe even the unemployment line.
The people need to calm down. Black people aren't the only people who put oil-infused products in their hair. You guys must be thinking of your own race too much to come to this conclusion. Sure she said something odd, but all of you are making something out of nothing. You guys remember this is Fashion Police, right? They make brutal jabs at any celebrity with any fashion they don't like ALL THE TIME. Especially Joan Rivers (rest in peace). And speaking of her, if she said anything about Zendaya's hair, we shut the fuck up and just laugh. That's because she was known for her edgy, shocking humor and she been doing this her whole life, and we've known her for this. So her spirit in this show rests with these co-hosts, and it seems hey're taking advantage of it. Leave Guiliana alone.
Guiliana (along with Katy Griffin, since you made something dickish, too), leave Zendaya alone. She did not deserve to be treated like this on her hair, and she did not deserve to be thrown under the bus.
Zendaya, good for you, girl. You fought back against the bullshit, and you did it in a mature, responsible, brains-for-brains way. I'm proud of you, your fans are proud of you, and maybe at the end of this week, the fans of Fashion Police are proud of you, too.
Keith Olbermann needs to keeps his mind on a filter.
On Tuesday, the ESPN host launched a 140-character-a-tweet rant on Twitter against Penn State University. The reason: The world-renowned college holding an annual dance marathon (apply [and genius-ly] titled THON) raising money for research towards a cure for cancer.
Here's what he said in his foolish fight against students:
(the tweets are chain-reaction)
After this, ESPN quickly suspended Olbermann for a week. Here's its' statement:
We are aware of the exchange Keith Olbermann had on Twitter last night regarding Penn State. It was completely inappropriate and does not reflect the views of ESPN. We have discussed it with Keith, who recognizes he was wrong. ESPN and Keith have agreed that he will not host his show for the remainder of this week and will return on Monday. The annual tradition of THON and the efforts of the students of Penn State to fight pediatric cancer should be applauded.
This caused him to apologize on Twitter for the stupid spat:
I apologize for the PSU tweets. I was stupid and childish and way less mature than the students there who did such a great fundraising job.
For one thing, he's wrong for calling all students of Penn State "pitiful"; maybe because he's a proud alumni of another college that so happens to rival PSU, maybe not. Doesn't mean he's not a jackass, though. And he's more of one for this implement of criticizing THON. Sure, cancer has no known cure yet, but at least they're doing their best to market research. He on the other hand, is a fool for saying this.
On the other hand, I mean he didn't say anything overtly offensive or absolutely stupid; I mean he wasn't talking about THON, just the "ethics" from the PSU students (maybe they misread what he said greatly, maybe he was baited by them to say some shit he shouldn't have been saying), but he did say enough to cause this story, so it makes him an idiot a little for going further.
But, since he's known for commentary like this, I don't think he should be suspended for this long. Just tell him not to say stuff like this again, and if he does it again, then suspend him, at least for 3-4 days.
Anyway, if he does this again--not that he'll ever get any sympathy from me anyway--I wpn't be surprised that he'll get his just desserts in the form of a pink slip from John Skipper, and little, yet embarrassing crawl back to MSNBC. Or maybe the network currently known as Al Jazeera America can can hire him again. His commentary is perfect for the short group of Americans who still watch him.
Anyway, congrats to Penn State for another successful THON Weekend. Over $13 Million raised throughout the event, all to raise money for research toward a cure for childhood cancer. Great job and congrats to everyone involved on another successful year.
A Cleveland news anchor is in controversy for using a word on live television that should not be said under those circumstances: Jiggaboo.
After her report on Lady Gaga's fantastic performance at The Oscars last Sunday, Kristi Capel of Fox 8 WJW in Cleveland called her music, and I quote, "Jiggaboo Music".
After the seemingly-unintentionally-stupid comment, her co-anchor made a face that everyone else watching at home (and later, across the Internet) also made.
Here is video courtesy of The Huffington Post:
Woman...who the hell do you think you are??
Seriously, you can't be that stupid enough to not know what that slang term is or what it means. Even if you don't know what it means, there is one way to solve that:
And here's another:
To be fair, I honestly didn't know what that word meant for the first 19 years of my life. But I've never heard anyone say that word, and even then, even I knew it meant something bad. And your excuse is that you didn't know what it meant?? Aren't you an adult?!? Shouldn't you have known about race and slang terms like the back of your hand growing up? And isn't this Cleveland?? Yes, it's one of the most northern cities in America, and is probably clean and safe, but if you know what "Cleveland Steamer" means, you should know what "Jiggaboo" means. I mean, you have a black co-anchorright next to you! Sure, it would've been embarrassing, but asking him what the slang is and means, would've saved you all from the humiliation and embarrassment in the world and you would've kept all the credibility you had as a local news journalist.
Oh and by the way, Lady Gaga's fans are mostly white, so there can't be any excuse of saying you thought that "Jiggaboo" is a slang term for white. And another thing: What part of your mind told you to say the damn word on TV in the first place?!? Sure "The News" is the most family-friendly program on television, but even then, viewers don't expect to hear slang terms coming out of the mouths of well-respect, well-taught, well-educated people like the ones you see on your TVs from 4-7am, 7-10am, 4-6:30pm, 10-11pm or 11-11:30pm, depending on what station you watch and whatever the timeslot. And the people are not supposed to say this. Hell, I can't remember a time when anyone on Fox News Channel said the word, so this is a damn disgrace to WJW and the entire Tribune Broadcasting Company as a whole. Now, I'm not saying she should be fired or suspended. She didn't lie or anything. I say she should record a public apology and release it either on-air or online. And then all will be as right as rain.
For now, this was a really stupid quagmire and I hope something like this never happens again. We should all learn from this woman to NEVER use a slang term on on live TV, especially when you don't know what it means.
Hi everyone. I'm Andrew, I welcome you to my review of the 87th Annual Academy Awards aka The Oscars 2015. This year hosted by actor and Tony Award-winner Neil Patrick Harris, the event take place at the Dolby Theater in Hollywood. So let's check out my thoughts on some of the buzzworthy moments of the event that had me stay up all night because screw me, that's why.
Neil did a great job as host; he had the humor, the charisma, the charm, the talent, the expertise and the awesomeness to pull off the job. I mean, who actually thought he couldn't do it?? Sure, some of his jokes fell flat, but come on--He's Doogie freakin' Houser MD, dammit!
We already start off with host Neil Patrick Harris singing a song a dance number celebrating the films of this decade and past decades. Sure, we've had many of these over the years, but this one was awesome. The part where he was literally inserted into films was freaking awesome! Anna Kendrick did a beautiful job with Neil, and the part where she sings too hard was really funny. The beat between her last note and his reaction was hilarious. Jack Black also performed in the opener as the best part of it. Just him being there made it 38% better.
And the end where Neil stands like the statuette itself with a shadow of Oscar behind him, that was also cool...and a little chilling.
JK Simmons won the first award of the evening, Actor in a Supporting Role for his role in "Whiplash". During his acceptance speech, Simmons asked many others in the audience and viewers at home to call their parents and thank them for all that they've done in their lives and that they (the people) love them (the parents). This was a very sweet speech and really warmed heart. It also gave me the strength to call my mom and tell her I love her. Yes, J. Jonah Jamison gave me the power to call my Mommy.
Polish film "Ida" won Best Foreign Language Film, with director Pawel Pawliskoski accepting. During his speech, he went to thank pretty much every other person who's been in his life. While it was great, the more talked about moment was during the speech, when the wrap-it-up music came in, but Pawel kept on going, with the audience laughing and applauding him, and the music actually ending as he goes on. And even more funnier, his accent gets more thicker as he continues, which is maybe why the audience laughed at first.
Obviously, the part of the telecast everyone wanted to watch (and got a smile on their faces for), Tegan & Sara and The Lonely Island performed "Everything is Awesome" from The Lego Movie. I loved when Jorma Taccome and mugged the camera; their skills were...radical. I also love the tuxes the group wore; the light blue and ruffles were...boss. Will Arnett made a special appearance reprising his role of Batman, along with ?uestlove from The Roots played drums. Boy was that...super (and a little depressing). This was the first time I've heard the song at the show, and I must say, I was crazy happy to hear it, and crazy sad that I haven't heard it much sooner.
Neil was in his underwear for one part as a parody of Birdman. Apparently everyone was okay with the outline of his cock showing to not look shock and disgusted. At least his physique was rock-hard perfect.
Common & John Legend's wives are going to have a good night and next day ahead of them. Because their husbands gave one of the best moments of the entire show, and had the producers scramble to give them a congratulatory honor for doing so.
They performed their song "Glory" from Selma. And boy, was everything left on stage. The power, emotion, passion, sophistication and heart were right there in their performance and it couldn't get any more amazing from there. It was just beautiful. Who knew, a few minutes after it, that they would win the Award for Original Song? Their reactions were priceless, especially Common's. From there, and after hearing their real names, I thought there were two other guys who wrote the song, at least the majority of it.
Major props to you, Lonnie Lynn and Johnnie Stevens. Your parents, families and friends, colleagues in the music-industry and all of Black America are proud of you two tonight.
After the "In Memoriam" segment, Jennifer Hudson sang "I Can't Let Go", which was really fitting because of how much we loved our favorite actors, directors, producers, ect. and their work. And her vocals were just as beautiful as they've ever been. And it made me cry a bit. It was such a bittersweet performance. Also the ending where a large of lights shine across the Dolby Theater was beautiful.
Adele Dazeem gets her payback.
A year after John Travolta butchered her name on live television before she gave her show-stopping performance of "Let It Go" (irony, huh?) and himself getting brutally screwed by the world of social media because of it, Idina Menzel returned to the Oscars stage to exact sweet revenge on Travolta (I mean "Glom Dazingo") by butchering his name. And she nailed it. And then, Travolta ruins his redemption (while he was receiving it) by touching Idina's whole face like dog on a chicken bone, and said those infamous lines from last year like the Wicked Witch of the West to Dorothy in The Wizard of Oz. I won't say it was disgusting, but it was weird to watch.
Lady Gaga just proved again to world that she can sing anything. After her wonderful Standards collab album with Tony Bennett, her singing the songs of "The Sound of Music" was balls on the wall fabulous. Miss Gaga certainly has the pipes and can certainly sing her ass off with anything. Kudos to you, Miss Gaga.
This right here:
This was a beautiful speech telling everyone to "Stay Weird. Stay Different." because it makes you happy. And doing whatever you put your mind and heart into makes you happy. This speech gave him a standing ovation from the audience, which he deserves. And this speech made me happy. Good for you, Graham Moore. You're weird and different, and that makes you great.
Finally, the box containing the briefcase in turn containing Neil's predictions for the show is finally opened. And in those predictions, are the reveal: which are exactly everything that's happened in the broadcast.
Uhh...Are you sure no one touched the box, Octavia? Because it's okay to put on the table that NPH is a certified magician. Nope, no nitpicking, it was really funny, anyway.
So, 3 & 1/2 hours, and these are the more interesting things I could find to discuss this ceremony. But...There are some other things I will discuss quickly:
--John was also a little handsy-pansy with Scarlet Johannson on the red carpet. Maybe it was right for Kelly Preston to divorce him.
--Terrence Howard clearly loves "Whiplash". Apparently, It truly IS hard out here for a pimp...a pimp who cries.
--Speaking of Three-6-Mafia, they won't be thee only black rappers to have an Oscar added to their collection. Common is the second black rapper (and third overall; Eminem is the first) to win an Oscar for Original Song. I guess the Academy has finally moved forward in making broader music eligible for that category. Good for them as well.
--Who knew that Anna Kendrick is actually shorter than Kevin Hart? Well, if you take into account his 200+ plus movies, it makes sense. Also, during NPH's introduction of him, I crossed my fingers and repeatedly said "Please be Kevin Hart". I was smiling like a kid at Chuck E. Cheese after that mention.
--Julie Andrews is impressed with someone singing songs she sang (screw Terrence Flecher [no, seriously, screw him. I wanna fuck him like a pig. I really wanna make him squeal]. She's one tough person to impress)
--I wonder how NPH works out; I wanna have half his perfect shape. What is his regimen? P-90X?
--That moment of JLO and Meryl Streep cheering on Patricia Arquette during her speech was awesome and funny. Thank God a GIF was made.
--Joan Rivers was not a part of the "In Memoriam" segment. I don't know why. She was more of a comedienne than an actress, so I don't know why everyone's upset. Also, no one mentioned any films she starred in so their argument is pointless and moot.
I felt this was a more hipper and less boring Oscars, just like last year. Neil carried the whole thing well, and I wasn't all the way bored with it. I'm glad the Oscars have gotten more enjoyable and exciting these days as feels sightly more catered to the younger demo, while staying true to the older crowd without getting sloppy. Sure, we're never reach the days of Bob Hope, David Nivens and Johnny Carson, but it's in the past and we should move on from that. Hopefully this change continues on for the next few years or maybe even the next decade, because I'm getting more and more tired of watching this, while having to do so to do a review.
Well, thank you all for joining me for this review of The Oscars. Join me next year where I might do something other than this. See you later!
It just had to happen. It just HAD to happen. SpongeBob SquarePants has been nominated for the Kids’ Choice Award for Favorite Cartoon. I was happy that it was nominated back during it’s first few seasons, and of course you know why. As the show continued, less and less people fell in love with it, and more and more people got furious with its’ increasing number of nominations. And of course you know why.
But you know what, I don’t care any more. I don’t mind it getting its’ nomination for Favorite Cartoon. In fact, I actually think it DOES deserve it.
Nickelodeon clearly loves this show. It’s been a hit ever since its premiere in 1999, and back then it deserved it. It was funny, clever, enjoyable and one of the best cartoons ever. And when it won the Favorite Cartoon award from 2000 to 2007, it actually deserved it.
Now the only person who believed it deserved it is Nickelodeon. It’s been making the network and company money and kept the pockets of the execs full. They knew this show was a hit, even when it rotted in quality, because the kids are still watching. The kids are still buying merchandise, they’re still enjoying everything with his face on it. That’s why this show is still
Plus, the producers and writers clearly don’t give a damn about they write or storyboard, because what they saw on screen, they found hilarious. And the execs don’t give a damn--oh, I’m sorry--they don’t give a FUCK about what’s filling up the timeslot, because whatever is on it, the kids will watch, and if they watch it, the money will come in, and when it comes in, they’ll like whatever they’ll greenlight next. A circle of life. It’s like they’re a real-life Mr. Krabs, except they actually care about their family and friends (I think).
Meanwhile, there are other shows that are in actually good quality (with the creator putting in as much as much creative content as they wanted and ending it at their own terms) that put up respectable ratings (if they’re lucky) and have a sizable, if not half as big fanbase as SpongeBob. Ironically, I think the shows nominated are crap now. Fairly OddParents, Teen Titans Go! and (maybe) Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Adventure and Phineas and Ferb (please correct me if I’m wrong) are going through terrible seasons at the moment, and some of these shouldn’t be nominated; but I shouldn’t care because this is the Kids’ Choice Awards I’m talking about.
I know this Awards thing is a fluke now, and that I shouldn’t care, but if Nick wants to nominate these shows, and put them up against this one, knowing that they’re going to lose, and the Sponge is gonna win (again), and that they know that we know that it’s gonna win (AGAIN), well, I’m just gonna have to kill myself. Goodbye, world. Let me know if SpongeBob actually loses for the second time, so that I’ll celebrate another true victory in Hell.
Okay, I'm clearly overreacting. At least I voted for it this time.
Hi, everyone. Funday Friday time again!
Welcome to my thoughts on the 28th Annual Nickelodeon Kids Choice Awards. This' year's show is hosted by Nick Jonas, and will air on March 28 at 8pm. The nominees was released earlier today, and now I have them compiled and I've written my thoughts on all of them. Let's go!!
KIDS TV SHOW Henry Danger Every Witch Way Nicky, Ricky, Dicky & Dawn (who the heck names these shows) Dog With a Blog Jessie and Austin & Ally THREE Disney Channel shows are nominated: Dog With a Blog, Jessie and Austin & Ally, which is my favorite of the group. So it's great that Disney Channel is having a much larger presence in the list of nominees, and it's great that Nickelodeon is loosening up for once, at least in this category.
Who I Think Will Win: Any Nick show
Who I Think Should Win: Any DC Show (for once)
FAMILY TV SHOW Gotham Agents of SHIELD Modern Family
Once Upon A Time
The Big Bang Theory
The Flash
First off, I don't know why Big Bang Theory is still nominated for a KCA; it's clearly not for kids--it's for adults. But it kinda makes sense that this show does get a category that isn't catered to kids. Although, it is a little shock that entire families watch a show about nerds having sex.
But this is a great category for shows like these, because families (mostly adults) do watch these shows, and enjoy them. So kudos to Nick for creating this category. It's a perfect one. And a hard one to choose a winner from.
Will Win: Big Bang or Flash
Should Win: Flash, OUAT or SHIELD
TV ACTOR
Benjamin Flores Jr.
Charlie McDermott
Grant Gustin
Jack Griffo
Jim Parsons
Ross Lynch
It's a pretty easy choice for me. Grant Gustin is doing an absolutely fantastic job as the man in the red suit, and as Barry Allen. I don't think any of the other actors are coming close here, even Parsons. Since this is the KCAs, the opposite is going to happen. I hope that doesn't happen.
Will Win: Jim Parsons, Ross Lynch or any Nick Male Star
Should Win: Grant Gustin or Ross Lynch
TV ACTRESS
Chloe Bennett
Debby Ryan
Jennifer Morrison
Kaley Cuoco-Sweeting
Kira Kosarin
Laura Marano
A hard decisiom, but not that hard. So I chose Jen Morrison from OUAT.
Will Win: Kaley or Kira
Should Win: I Don't Know--Too Close To Call
CARTOON Adventure Time
Phineas and Ferb
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
Teen Titans Go!
Fairly Odd Parents
spongebob sqaurepants
Why the hell is that stupid little kitchen cleaner still nominated?!
But the even bigger question is: Why the hell is Gravity Fallsnot nominated? I mean...I cannot.
As for the other nominees, some are the same from last year, with Teen Titans Go! being a newbie. I don't know why I should be mad at this, but if Scumbob Shitepants is still going to win over these better shows (yeah, even Toddler Titans, too), let alone nominated, than I need a podiatrist to try and stop me from putting my foot in someone's ass.
Ironically, the one time I voted for it, it was the only time it lost (that was to The Last Airbender in 2008).
This will shock you, but I'm going to vote for SpongeBob, because if this thing can't lose, then I should submit to it. It's annoying that this still happens, but I'm used to it now to make this drastic step forward.
Will Win: GUESS
Should Win: Anything but (and Gravity Falls too; maybe even Over the Garden Wall)
BOOK Diary of a Wimpy Kid series Divergent series Heroes of Olympus series Percy Jackson's Greek Gods The Fault In Our Stars The Maze Runner
--The only book I've read out of all of these is Diary, so I voted for that.
Will Win: Too Close To Call (aka I don't care)
Should Win: TCTC (aka I don't care)
MOST ADDICTING GAME Angry Birds Transformers
Candy Crush
Disney Infinity 2.0
Mario Kart 8
Minecraft
Skylanders Trap Team
--First off, it's surprising that a network known for shows with characters who act like they're addicted to something, would have a category named "Most Addicting Game" at its' awards show. At least they've noticed how interesting these nominees are, because of the many kids playing them.
Now the only game I've played in this category is Candy Crush Saga. Keyword: PLAYED. I don't play that anymore. That's it; I don't play video games that much. I'm an "Internet TV" guy.
Will Win/Should Win: See Under BOOK
REALITY SHOW American Ninja Warrior
Cupcake Wars
Dance Moms
Masterchef Junior
Shark Tank
Wipeout
I don't know why a kid would watch Dance Moms or Shark Tank or Masterchef Junior. Those shows are on networks for adults, not kids or families. In fact I don't know why this category exists. Kids should not watch reality shows.
Will Win: Again, See Under BOOK
Should Win: Wipeout or Cupcake Wars (they're more family-type shows)
TALENT COMPETITION SHOW America's Got Talent
America’s Next Top Model
American Idol
Dancing With The Stars
So You Think You Can Dance
The Voice
I love America's Got Talent and The Voice, and I have a big soft spot in my heart for American Idol and Dancing with the Stars, but for a better experience, I picked So You Think You Can Dance. Not because I cover it on this blog, but because I enjoy watching the show very much and the dancers on it are amazing.
Will Win: TCTC
Should Win: SYTYCD, The Voice or AGT
MOVIE FAVORITE The Amazing Spider-Man 2
Guardians of the Galaxy
The Hunger Games: Mockingjay – Part 1
Maleficent
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
Transformers: Age Of Extinction
It was a pretty obvious choice for me. I chose Guardians. This film ROCKS HARD!!!
Will Win: Guardians or Hunger Games: Mockingjay P1
Should Win: Guardians
ACTOR
Ben Stiller
Hugh Jackman
Jamie Foxx
Mark Wahlburg
Steve Carrell
Will Arnett
--All of these guys are good, but I wasn't sure who to choose.
Will win/Should Win: See BOOK
ACTRESS
Angelina Jolie
Cameron Diaz
Elle Fanning
Emma Stone
Jennifer Garner
Megan Fox
--Same with ACTOR
Will Win/Should Win: See MALE ACTOR (and BOOK)
MALE ACTION
##Channing Tatum
##Chris Evans
##Chris Pratt
##Hugh Jackman
##Liam Hemsworth
Will Win/Should Win: Chris Pratt (cause he's awesome [and played Andy Dywer])
FEMALE ACTION
##Ellen Page
##Evangeline Lilly
##Halle Berry
##Jennifer Lawrence
##Scarlett Johansson
##Zoe Saldana
Will Win: J-Law (cause she'll win anything)
Should Win: Zoe Saldana (cause she's just as awesome)
ANIMATED MOVIE Big Hero 6
How to Train Your Dragon 2
Penguins of Madagascar
Rio 2
The Lego Movie
The SpongeBob Movie: Sponge Out of Water
What the hell? For one thing: the damn movie came out two weeks ago; but it was obvious no matter how long it was released in theatres, it will get a KCA nom. It was destined to go down like this. It's Nickelodeon; IT WILL PUT ANYTHING IT OWNS IN ANY CATEGORY AS A NOMINEE. And the Second SpongeBob Movie is such. I wouldn't (and will not) be surprised if when it wins at the show. I really want to see it, though.
MUSIC
For all of the music categories, who in the producing staff thought these "artists" or some of the songs are appropriate for kids? But hey, kids'll listen to anything mindless, annoying and morally-incorrect these days. I'm not saying they have to bad, but these songs shouldn't be consumed by the ears of a child.
FAVORITE MUSIC GROUP
Coldplay
Fall Out Boy
Imagine Dragons
Maroon 5
One Direction
One Republic
Will Win/Should Win: One Direction
MALE SINGER
Blake Shelton
Bruno Mars
Justin Timberlake
Nick Jonas
Pharrell Williams
Sam Smith
Will Win: One Direction (because duh) or Nick Jonas (because he's the host)
Should Win: One Direction
SONG OF THE YEAR
"All About That Bass" by Meghan Trainor
"Bang Bang" by Jessie J, Ariana Grande and Nicki Minaj
"Dark Horse" by Katy Perry
"Fancy" by Iggy Azalea featuring Charli XCX
"Problem" by Ariana Grande featuring Iggy Azalea
"Shake It Off" by Taylor Swift
I mean really? These songs are totally inappropriate for kids. What parent would let their parent listen to these songs outside of "Shake It Off" and maybe "All About That Bass".
Will Win: "Shake It Off" or "All About That Bass"
Should Win: "Shake It Off"
FAVORITE NEW ARTIST
5 Seconds of Summer
Echosmith
Fifth Harmony
Iggy Azalea
Jessie J
Meghan Trainor
Jessie J is NOT a new artist! She came out in 2010. And really?? Iggy Azalea. IK mean, come on, Nick!! Be aware of who gets nominated.
Well, that's all the nominees, along with my thoughts on all of them. Thank you for joining me on this post on the nominees of the Kids' Choice Awards. Tune in to the show, hosted this year by Nick Jonas, on March 28 at 8pm on Nickelodeon. I'll have my review sometime after that.
See you later!!
Hi, everybody.
This day has been on everybody's minds for months. The anticipation, the wonder, the imagination, the excitement, the nostalgia, the fear, the potential disappointment, the wasted potential, the complaints about how it used to be (oh wait, that's still happening) and what could have been that could've been shown and represented.
But dammit, they pulled it off phenominally. Almost everything that represented this show throughout its' history (cast members, characters, sketches, moments, hosts, musical guests and Lorne Michaels) is represented very well in this special. I enjoyed almost every single moment from the event and I can't stop glowing from it.
The event begins with Justin Timberlake about to perform a ditty about the show, then Jimmy Fallon comes in, and they perform a rap called "The History of SNL". Rachel Dratch and Molly Shannon made their returns to Studio 8H as their beloved characters, Debbie Downer and Mary Catherine Gallagher. It was amazing; the rhymes were catchy, JF & JT did great and it was fantastic to see Debbie and Mary Catherine on "SNL" once again, especially for this special. And what a special it was!
The open featured many shots and elements from all of the opens in its history and some of the characters that made it famous, along with the many cast members and guests that appeared on the show appearing in the special. It was awesome seeing those elements of some opens mashed together with those of others was absolutely beautiful. And the bright colors used throughout made it even better.
After this, a monologue of epic proportions...sort of. Frequent host Steve Martin (who, by the way, hosted one of the best episodes ever all the way back in 1978) was the first to walk out on stage. He remarks that the special is like an enormous high school reunion (with nearly all of the students being white) and that comedians are the staple of the show. After this, other hosts/musical guests appeared to politely argue with Martin about who the host and musical guests are to have helped make SNL memorable over the years, including (in this order):
-(America's) Tom Hanks, representing actors
-Alec Balwin, for actors who've down comedy and drama. And have also hosted more than seven-eight times (and, as Martin put it, media skirmishes)
-Melissa McCarthy, for actress/not men over "80"
-Chris Rock, fronting hosts who used to be cast members
That was a fine open. I was puzzled by this, but it was nice to see a wonderful variety of hosts being mentioned on the show.
The Best (Sketches)
After this, a wonderfully put-together clip of some of the best sketches in the show's history, from "The Wolverines", the very first sketch, to "". If there was a favorite of any SNL fan, either casual or die-hard, it was in this. And it was a great continuation of the special, and was expected to celebrate the show's vast, rich and uproarious history.
Dan Aykroyd returned to Studio 8H to perform the first sketch tribute of the show, one of his legendary and signature skits: The Super Bass-O-Matic. This time, it's new and improved, and under a new name: The Super Bass-O-Matic 2150. It's exactly like the original sketch from 1976, except Aykroyd looks like he's really let himself go. He did a fantastic job, like he knew every word like the back of his hand...or like he wrote them on the back of his hands. Also, Laraine Newman made a return to 8H for her small part in the promo sketch, which was just as great. I did feel a rush of intensity and nerves during the part where Aykroyd slipped more bass into the Matic, in which he couldn't close the top (it's live, really) but everything came in control a few seconds later. I really enjoyed this part.
You still rock, Mr. Aykroyd and Mr. Newman.
— Andrew Pollard (@APollard36) February 16, 2015
Celebrity Jeopardy! is back!!
In the next tribute sketch, Will Ferrell retuned as Alex Trebek, one of his most popular roles one of the most popular sketches. Also returning are Darrell Hammond as Sean Connery and Norm MacDonald as Burt Reynolds, along with Mate McKinnon as Justin Bieber, Alec Baldwin as Tony Bennett and Taran Killam as Christoph Waltz. Straight up--One of the Best parts of the special. The jokes were of the same well-known concept, but are still funny and still awesome. The "Whore Ads" and the "Le Tits Now" jokes made me laugh hard.
Also, the guys of the sketch have not missed a beat; it's as if they secretly do their beloved roles somplace hidden from the outside world to keep them amazing. If this actually happens, it's made this one even more genius.
I really like how Trebek's hair has gotten greyer, just as a nod to the real host of the real Jeopardy! (along with the fact that he's returned to growing a mustache), and that the old set has stayed the same for familiarity.
Although, neither Bieber nor Waltz were needed here, and they felt like they weren't needed, but They were fine in their own right. The big boys of the skit (Especially Ferrell and Darrell Hammond as Sean Connery) just carry the skit by themselves like it's 1996 again.
And the surprise appearance of Kenan Thompson as Bill Cosby during the Video Daily Double gave this a little more laughs.
Again, one of the best parts of the night, by far.
Pete Davidson and Leslie Jones, the tow last cast members before the show turned 40, presented a segment on the Auditions, the moment where unknown actors and comedians try-out to impress Lorne and the producers for a spot in the cast. It was a refreshing joy to this, watching cast members do impressions and such for a spot, and look around stuff and ask question, especially some of the Not Ready for Primetime Players. It was an even bigger surprise to see Jim Carrey, Stephen Colbert and Zach Gallafinackis audition, too, I could only wonder if any of them got hired. Oh well.
Next up, previous host (and proud Yorkian) Robert DeNiro presented us a really well-done clip of New York City, as shown through Saturday Night Live sketches. The show salute to and spirit of the Big Apple shines bright, since the day of the choice of production in '75 and still lives on to this day. You do see shows celebrate its city like Johnny Carson and Jay Leno-era Tonight Show for Los Angeles and Portlandia with Portland, Oregon, but you don't see the spirit and love of the NYC like SNL does. And it's not during the opens. Well, almost all of them; New York is nowhere to be seen in the season 27 intro--wonder who's dumb idea that was. Anyway, even though I'm not from the city, or the state, I'm very proud of the biggest city in the world for many reasons. One of them being the taping location of SNL. Thanks to it (along with the soap operas at the time), many shows would later be taped in New York (city and state) in the later 1990s and 2000s. SNL and New York, we're grateful for the both of you.
Three cheers to New York City. Just because...#SNL40
After the break (of many!!), Keith Richards of The Rolling Stones introduced Paul McCartney, who performed "Maybe I'm Amazed". And like his appearances on the show, and with The Beatles, he really hits it out of the park. Oh yeah, and this. too.
So yeah, a Rolling Stone introduced a Beatle. That's history in the making, don'cha know.
#SNL40
Jack Nicholson gives us another clip featuring SNL's legendary satire and lampooning of American Politics. From Gerald Ford to the George Bushs to Bill Clinton to Barack Obama and everyone in between, SNL was boss at counterpoint to the elephant and donkey parties. And if you were a fan o SNL, you should know how awesome these sketches were. The brutal humor coming to the world of politics was perfect and really enjoyable, and for the 40+ years on the air, SNL certainly know what to do. It's not my favorite parts of the show, but I still enjoyed them a lot.
Honestly, I don't know why this sketch was represented.
But if it can get most of the late 2000s cast back together, then I'll forgiven. Especially with Laraine Newman and Betty White appeared. Although, Kerry and Taylor's accents were super thick and nearly unrecognizable. It may seem hard to pull off a Valley Girl accent, but I myself can do it easily and near-perfectly. So this is unacceptable. I laughed a lot when Kristen Wiig said "Did everyone RSV-Pah??" and when everyone broke character for a bit after the Spanish housekeeper character (played by Vanessa Bayer) faints. And Betty did awesome in this; her performance made the sketch look like a real soap opera on (the now defunct) SOAPnet. It even gripped me in for a little while, after that ended, I went back to watching a sub-par sketch I can barely stand. So yeah, I'd call this the weakest sketch of the special. I mean of course it is when compared to the others, like the remake of the "Bass-O-Matic" sketch, "Celebrity Jeopardy!" and Weekend Update.
As for the ending, which is a special-made one to the Airline Sketch of the 90s, I kinda like this one, although it felt a little botched, but we can count that to the camera shot coming in a little early than expected.
And now, another Best Sketch of the show, Weekend Update. At least it should be with Jane Curtain, Tina Fey and Amy Poehler at the desk. And it was funny. Really funny. All the jokes landed, including my favorite
the chemistry between the three was wonderful and the guests paying tribute to a few iconic characters of both Update and SNL proper:
-Emma Stone as Roseanne Roseannadana
-Edward Norton as Stefon (with Bill Hader returning as the real Stefon, along with Seth Meyers making a brief cameo)
-Melissa McCarthy as Matt Foley, and
-Bobby Moynihan as the Land Shark
did a fantastic job. The only crime with this one was that it was a little short, at least compared to the regular Update. (Blame Kanye.) I wish it was at least 7 minutes long, because then, at least more Update anchors would've came in and contributed to the sketch. That would've been better in my eyes. But overall, this was another Best of the Special.
And straight after, a retrospective of the iconic middle-of-the-show segment, featuring almost all of the hosts (Cecily Strong were notably missing) and the iconic moments that came with them. I thought it was disrespectful for Cecily to get jettisoned when she was a anchorperson just like everyone else. Granted for a single season, but still. And the same thing goes for everyone else who was also not shown in the clip. Other than that, it was a great retrospective of a really great part of SNL since the very start.
Which would go to another great part of one of the Best Parts of the Special:
Four of the male anchorpersons of Update (Kevin Nealon, Norm MacDonald, Colin Quinn and Seth Meyers) came together to discuss their bright memories of the segment and then to honor the man who started the tranquil madness and uproarious news, Chevy Chase. Chase came to the main stage to discuss the segment and his . And it was short. I mean...come on!! (Blame Kanye.)
Chris Rock walked to the stage and talked about Eddie Murphy, the most-well-known, beloved (in Dick Ebersol's case, VERY beloved) and best-used African American cast member in SNL history. And then Murphy himself made his first appearance on SNL in 30 years, talking about his experience on the show and what it made him to be: a comedy legend. And that's it. If Eddie Murphy is going to appear on the show for the first time in 30 years, you gotta make time for him! You can't just give him a whole minute to say a few words and then go to commercial, That's not fair.
Honestly this lasted about 5-1/2 minutes (including Rock). Let's--let's just--(sigh) Blame Kanye, folks.
Derek Jeter and Peyton Manning open this pre-packaged clip of all the times athletes hosted SNL (so all of you who expected OJ Simpson or Robert Blake to appear, you are greatly disappointed). I didn't enjoy it as much as the others, but I still found it funny.
The end of the segement features the return of Sudeikis and Will Forte as Pete Twinkle and Greg Stink, and these guys are just as great as they were back during the sketch's beginning. This is one of my favorite pieces of the special.
Why is Miley Cyrus playing a Paul Simon song? Like Billy Ray?? Especially when he's there?!! #SNL40
After an introduction by long-running host Candace Bergen and Win Butler of Arcade Fire,
Miley Cyrus performed Paul Simon's immortal "50 Ways to Leave Your Lover". Umm...why?? Why is she performing the song? I mean, Simon was in the studio, so it would've made a lot more sense to have the guy who originally performed it almost 40 years ago perform it here. Did he have a sore throat during the special? Does he hate this now? I'd doubt it. It just doesn't make sense to me. Miley did have really good vocals here, and she did a great job, but it still didn't make any damn sense to me, especially because the man himself is here. Plus, she sounded like her dad in his "Achy Breaky Heart" days.
Calm it down, Miley. You're no Janis Joplin. #SNL40
"Mr. NBC" Jerry Seinfeld took to the stage to answer questions from the audience.
Before getting to the video, this segment has been a part of the show for decades. The host being asked questions by members of the studio audience (usually cast members). And it's pretty funny at times.
Now, the people asking questions were Michael Douglas, John Goodman, James Franco, Larry David, Dakota Johnson from NBC sister company Universal Pictures' big-selling film "50 Shades of Grey" (at least that's how I see them treating this part), former cast member Tim Meadows, Sarah Palin and Ellen Cleghorne, one of the first and few African American female cast members in SNL history (seriously, they can be counted on both hands, if not one).
This segment was really funny, and seeing Miss Cleghorne in this segment and on SNL in a very long time was wonderful, even though she wasn't as well-known or popular as Eddie Murphy at the time. In fact seeing her there lasted longer and was more satisfying than Eddie Murphy, and I barely know who she is or was. Super ironic, I know.
Then after a short introduction by Christopher Walken, Lord Obnoxious himself performed one of his biggest songs "Jesus Walks"...upside down...on his back, in a dimly lit part of the set.
Why this? Well, because it's Kanye. Although this is a step up from "Bound 2", so yeah, it's good. After a verse of the former, he sings (yes, SINGS.) his latest single "Only One". Apparently, he didn't care the he sounded like he just had a wire removed from his jaws. But his vocals were terrible. I felt that he wanted to sound weak and close to tears. He can do that, but chose not to here. But like his performance at the Grammys, it was personal, powerful and made me tear up. Then...uhh...
yeah, he sang "Wolves" with Sia and a guy named
Okay, why is he performing? No, this has nothing to do his dick moves recently, but because this is the SNL Anniversary. I think there should be enough for everything about the show, and not to have Kanye here. I mean, Kanye did appear like 4 or 5 times and that's good enough to be memorable and appear in the special, but if you want to invite a guy who wrote a line in one of his songs which goes "Fuck SNL and the whole cast, tell 'em Yeezy said they can kiss my whole ass/ More specifically, they can kiss my ass-hole/I'm an asshole? You niggas got jokes" on a special like this, yeah you've got a problem. Especially with people who don't like him as a person. So yeah, I thought this performance was really good, but I really wouldn't put in up there with the best parts of the Special. Yeah, I guess it kinda does relate to the recent dick moves.
Next, as presented by Louis CK, a perfect collection of SNL short films that were made legendary. Including the forever infamous "Don't Look Back in Anger". You know, the short films really made
this show great, too. Taking cast members out of Studio 8H and into the streets of New York (or an off-city-limits studio) and do whatever the hell they want, whether related to whatever was popular at the moment or whatever was in the writers' minds. And they were awesome; everything was a good laugh. All you see for the past 40 years either made you laugh, made you cry, or both. Because they were beautiful. The short film will always be my favorite part of the show for these reasons.
And now for my favorite one of all, the In Memorial segment, presented by Bill Murray. It is here that cast members, crew members and people who have been a huge part of Saturday Night Live since its humble beginning that have passed on sometime during its almost 40 years on-air will be memorialized and remembered for the huge, amazing and memorable contributions they have made to this series. I pretty much felt how everyone else felt from this. Emotional, teary-eyed, and full of gratefulness, because we have witness comedy magic being made on SNL and we took it for granted, and we can't thank all of these contributors for their service to SNL and the comedy world. The reaction when Don Pardo's name appeared was well-deserved. SNL is Don Pardo. Oh, and that part at the end where Jon Lovitz's name appeared made me laugh my ass off.
And finally, it was long overdue, but we finally made it, as we take a little trip to...
In this segment, Wayne & Garth give us a Top 10 list of the things that make SNL amazing for past (almost) 40 years. And every single one of them was great, especially the crew. Thanks to each and every single member of the SNL crew, they have spent as much of their lives as possible working to make SNL as tip-top shape and as fast and lucrative as possible, without incident or screw-up. And they did it (and still do it) amazingly. Doing live television takes a LOT of hard work, but to watch these guys pull it off so very well after all these years, and now to get the recognition and praise they truly deserve is just heartwarming and beautiful. You know what's also beautiful? Watching the two mock Kanye West HARD; it's hilarious. Also hilarious? The fact that they STILL haven't left the basement.
And this Special could not end without like how every show ends, with everyone on the main set, thanking viewers for watching the special, and for watching Saturday Night Live for almost 40 years. The man who began it all, Lorne Michaels, came on stage to thank everyone and to join in the celebration. And this caps off a fantastic special celebrating 40 Years and Seasons of a simple TV series pushing the limits of comedy and television, making lasting impressions on the world, keeping it going on NBC (already seen as a joke to a lot of people), and never looking back.
From a guy born before the 20th anniversary, congratulations to Saturday Night Live on this 40th anniversary. This was well deserved. #SNL40
Favorite Moments:
-Monologue
-Celebrity Jeopardy!
-Weekend Update (rest in peace, Gilda Radner and Chris Farley)
-The Music (especially when Nick the Lounge Singer and the Culpps appear)
-Wayne's World
-In Memorial (especially when Jon Lovitz's and Generalissimo Francisco Franco's names appear. One of the biggest laughs of the night.) (rest in peace, Everyone who has been a part of SNL throughout its' history)
Worst Moments:
Miley and Kanye
Everyone wasn't overused or underused, the jokes landed great, everything made me smile, I was a hit on Twitter (at least to my friends), all era of the show were used here amazingly, and the music was fantastic. I couldn't ask for a better special celebrating the history of SNL, and I think I'm so very grateful to live on Earth at this time to watch it. I'm so grateful for Saturday Night Live.
Well, thank you all joining me for this review, and join me on February 28, when Dakota Johnson will host the show, with Alabama Shakes joining as musical guest. See you then!!
"Saturday Morning, jumped out of bed, and put on my best suit
Got on my bike and raced like a jet, all the way to you"
Whoa, whoa, whoa, kid! Slow your roll. You are too young to marry her. The best you can do is ride your bike to the arcade for a game of Hang-on and Candy Crush and Plants Vs. Zombies: The Last Stand.
"Knocked on your door with heart in my hand/To ask you a question
'Cause I know that you're an old fashioned man (yeah yeah)"
Okay, guys; you know how this goes. The guy goes to the man's door, asks for his blessing to take his daughter's hand in marriage. He says no, the guy gets rejected, and starts whining and crying about the dad being "rude", when we all know, that it's him that's rude.
Why we're here though is because Kidz Bop has made a version of this song. The lyrics are changed to fit the concept of kids singing it as clean as possible (with Car changed to Bike, because kids can't drive). But the huge problem here is, that the song here is about a guy asking a father for his daughter to marry him. So there will be implications from this cover...as in a KID asking the dad to marry his YOUNG daughter!
"I hate to do this, you leave no choice
Can't live without her"
Oh, you're standing up to him, huh?! Look at you acting all manly!
And by the way, there's no way she can live without you; the things she can't live without are her cellphone, her friends and a poster of One Direction. And you can't live without your bike, your boys, and playing video games on that Xbox One you got last Christmas. Love me or hate me we will be boys
Standing at that altar
The only one who really fits the name "boy" is you!! You're too young to get married!!
"He said, 'You'll never get your blessing till the day I fly'"
Fly? Yeah that doesn't even make sense.
You know what? Screw the fact that it's Kidz Bop singing cover versions of popular songs for cheap-ass parents to buy for their kids with odd, questionable behavior to listen. It's songs like this that give the franchise backlash for taking songs like I'm Real, Toxic, Born This Way and Fancy and scrubbing them clean and turning them into cutesy, sugary, teenybopper songs made by kids, for kids. Give them horrid implications of KIDS doing disgusting things like have sex, realize they're gay and getting married! God this is sick.
For all intents and purposes, it works for money, but fails for morals. Kidz Bop, I won't say you suck hard, but I will say this: WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU??
The actual line is
"I'm bringing it all back",
but for the past few weeks, this line and the entire rest of the song blew up across the internet because of people believing the line sounded like the Anal line. So of course they took to Twitter and air out their puzzled frustrations:
ATTENTION: On the Kidz Bop version of All About That Bass a real line they sing is "I'm bringing anal back" .... I am truly speechless
Oh my God, make it stop!! (Oh yeah, this isn't a video; I'm typing this down. I really can stop it myself.)
As for the rest of the song, it's...not bad. The vocals from the singers aren't half bad, and they can belt out some notes worthy for Nickelodeon or Disney Channel. The lyrics have mostly changed, and it's for the better. And they're funny too, never forget that. But it's good they scrubbed the cursing and harmful words from it.
But this is Kidz Bop we're talking about. Any song sung by the group of kids chosen by a group of producers to sing covers of popular songs aka make moronic choices in songs to make money and raise awareness to keep its relevance afloat.
And for my honest opinion of the original song, it's not a bad song. The beat is great (which may explain the "bringin' it all back" line), Trainor has a nice voice, and I thought the message of self-acceptance would've been great if the lyrics weren't so damn biased towards overweight people. It is catchy as hell though, and so it this, if not for the stupid implications.
I don't know why they chose this particular song for the tracklist, other than because it's a hit and making a cover of a hit will generate popularity and sales. And because of that, the franchise will continue for years and years. So get used to it America and the world. Kidz Bop is here to stay...whether you like it or not...for better or worse.
Also, unless word-of-mouth brought them there, but it's really sick when adults are listening to this song cover by Kidz Bop (Yes, I'm an adult too; blame Facebook, BuzzFeed and Uproxx for their word-of-mouth)
Hey, everyone and Happy Funday Friday
Well, you guys know that Fox News Channel has a reputation for being a network that features reports and commentary with Conservative leanings. This happens during all of its programs (Yes, even Red Eye, the show it airs that matters anymore does this too).
So during The O'Reilly Factor, reporter Jesse Watters went to the small town of Bennington, Vermont for a segment on liberal bias in the media. This reporter tried to be Billy Eichner and embarrass the denizens and the town as a whole by asking questions based on liberal leanings for potential laughs for its viewers (some of which are probably too old to know who Billy Eichner is). This, in the short term, was not a good (or smart) idea for them. Because some students of the Quantum Leap Exhibit Program at local Mount Anthony Union High School were learning on ethics in journalism learned about Fox News' diabolical plan and fought back by outsmarting them in a deliciously brutal way. Check this out.
BURN!
Awesome job, students. You did your work, fact-checked Fox News' dumb-ass bullcrap and protected your town's reputation as a wonderful small town that just so happens to be proudly liberal-leaning. From one guy who can't stand Fox News' annoying conservative "Highbrow", condescending, bullshit to a group of such, I applaud you, I bow down to you, and if there's a way it could happen, I want to come to your town, shake your hands and hug you for such an badass takedown of a major news organization like Fox News and showing it how real fact checking is done. Great job, guys.
Fox News, go bankrupt.
Special thanks to Jeff Grimshaw for the link (Find him on Facebook, Twitter and YouTube) and Upworthy for the article (Also find it on Facebook and Twitter).
Welcome to Short/Long Song Review.
Instead of wasting my time rambling on about Nicki Minaj, let's get straight into the subject of this edition, her latest hit "Only" featuring Drake, Lil Wayne and Chris Brown.
"Yo,
I never fucked Wayne, I never fucked Drake
--Well, thank you for mentioning something most of us already knew. But honestly-- On my life, man, fuck's sake"
--Whoa, Nicki! We believe you. We really believe that you've never slept with a short guy who loves sex so much, he'll get children out of it, and a guy who only successfully brings girls to bed, only to open his mouth and put them to sleep.
"If I did, I menage with 'em and let 'em eat my ass like a cupcake"
TMI, dammit. Your ass ain't like a cupcake; it's more like a wedding cake. And that line is an insult to cupcakes. They have real ingredients in them!
"My man full, he just ate/
--First off, good for your man. I'm sure he had a meal so good, you had to mention it in your song, and make it seemingly dated. I don't duc[t] nobody but tape"
"I don't duc[t] nobody"? I can only hope that's a slag term for beating someone up. It is pretty funny though.
"Yeah, that was a set up for a punchline on duct tape"
--First off, that joke was funny and we knew it was funny. Second, people will know a joke when they see one. Third, We don't need a lyric telling us that's a joke; that ruins it very hard. Your fans are not stupid, Nicki! I think...
"Worried 'bout if my butt's fake/"
--Nobody's worried, Nicki. We've passed "worried". Worry 'bout y'all niggas, us straight
These girls are my sons/Jon and Kate Plus Eight"
--See? That's a joke we all know! And it's super funny. Too bad it's a good lyric in a shit song.
"When I walk in, sit up straight/I don't give a fuck if I was late"
--The only thing I give a fuck for, is when this is over so I can eat, drink till my organs are in peril, and sleep in a place I think is okay to sleep in.
"Dinner with my man on a G5 is my idea of an update"
Unless it's a G6. Get it? "Like A G6"? Heh...God, that was horrible.
"Hut one, hut two/
Hut--what? Those things sound like the cousins of Thing 1 and Thing 2. big titties, big butt too"
--Thanks for mentioning what we can already see, Nicki. I'm sure they don't need a passing mention, when you can see they're as big as Smart-cars. Especially the butt. Both cheeks, actually.
"Fuck with them real niggas/who don't tell niggas what they up to"
Yep, because the niggas who do tell other niggas what they're up don't matter at all. What does matter is niggas who'll shoot people and kill, steal, ball, sleep with anything with a heart and swear like they don't care if they go to Hell. Yep, those niggas matter. (...assholes)
I'll get to Chris Brown's appearance in the hook in a moment, but up next, is the guy claiming to hook up with Nicki more than Justin Bieber claiming to being a bad boy, Drake!
"I never fucked Nicki cause she got a man"
O...kay. That's good to know. At least, Nicki's found love in her life. That's...something..
"But when that's over then I'm first in line"
Great, they're still doing that stupid-ass "Will-They-or-Won't-They" charade. It didn't matter then, and it doesn't now!
"And the other day in her Maybach/I thought g**damn, this is the perfect time"
For what? To "ask her" to "be together" only to "get shut down" again? (Yes, the air quotes mean it's pretend, because it's as fake as Nicki's butt.) We had just come from that video/You know LA traffic, how the city slow
--Then go to New York next time; traffic's less taxing.
"She was sitting down on that big butt/But I was still staring at the titties thooough"
Okay, I've admitted I'm a dog a few times, but even I can say that that's sleazy as fuck! And a waste of your time. And the way he says it though. And I'm a lame. Yeah, lowkey or maybe high key/I been peeped that you like me, you know
What? Who the fuck you really wanna be with besides me? I mean...
--Well, if there's anyone in the world I'd really wanna be with besides you...Charles Manson.
"...it doesn’t take much for us to do this shit quietly/I mean..."
... she say I’m obsessed with thick women and I agree
Nicki ain't thick, you idiot. Unless the stuff in her T&A that makes her count as "thick". Also, you can't be obsessed with thick women when all the women we've seen you with all these years are skinny.
I have to stop there, because Drake's lyrics start off stupid, and continue straight to imbecilic.
Really, Drake? You're really wasting all of your 16 bars on your denial you've never fucked Nicki, how you want to fuck her when she's single, the time you've left a video shoot and ogling the hell of of her (especially them titties, thooouuuggh!) Apparently so. He's laid down some really impressive rhymes before, and I really like some of his work, so he is better than this, and he KNOWS he's better than this.
I'd want to say that no black man in his right mind would ever say such stupid things to or about a woman and get away with this, but it's disputable, as there are black men (and women) with no right minds and there are sentences like these that have been said before, so it's absolutely possible for this to happen. And he does it. May I remind you that he also gets paid for this?
And by the way, one line I looove is this:"
"Ass on Houston Texas, but the face look just like Clair Huxtable
I know Ms. Phylicia Rashad is still beautiful after all these years, but take that as you will. I mean that feels like a complete insult.
And finally, Lil Wayne, whose lyrics here will make
"I never fucked Nic' and that's fucked up"
Why yes, Wayne; it is fucked up that people would think of such a terrible statement like that.
"If I did fuck she'd be fucked up"
Yes she would be.
"Whoever is hittin' ain't hittin' it right/
--So did you nail her or what? Also, that's an slap-in-the-face to any man she's dating. At least she has that "Whoever" in her life, you troll, acting like she has the best pussy in the world to pop. Cause she actin' like she need dick in her life"
Just like you actin' like you need pussy in your life. I guess you guys really are made for each other. That's another story, I'm no story teller/I piss greatness like gold is yellow
--And yet another one I could do without. I bet it still smells like Asparagus, pot and deep shame. All my goons so overzealous/I'm from Holly Groove, the holy Mecca
And yet overzealous isn't a word to describe them...or something they'd know.
"My girlfriend will beat a bitch up if she wave/They bet not fuck with her surfboard, surfboard"
A reference to Beyonce's "Drunk in Love" that'll make it even more dated. Genius.
"Don't have my money?/ Take mother's instead"
Nuff said.
Like Drake's long-ass verse, I had to stop here too, because this is just a disgrace. Nothing here makes coherent sense, it frustrates and insults me (even though I have nothing in relation with him), I feel ashamed in myself to listen to this (along with the rest of it), and makes me wish I could take back the five days I spent listening to it for this review.
Unfortunately, there still is one part of it left to work on. And it's the chorus sung by Chris Brown. Raise every bottle and cup in the sky
Sparks in the air like the fourth of July
"Nothing but bad bitches in here tonight
Oh, if you lame and you know it be quiet"
Yeah, I'm a lame, but you endorse real niggas and bad bitches doing stupid shit in the world with all the money that you all may or may not have earned correctly . Why yes, Chris, I'M A LAME!!
"Nothin' but real niggas only, bad bitches only
Rich niggas only, independent bitches only
Boss niggas only, thick bitches only
I got my real niggas here by my side, only"
You know, if all the real niggas, bad bitches, Rich niggas, independent bitches, Boss niggas, and thick bitches in the world came together and maybe be a part of closed enviroment, maybe then all all your niggas and bitches would be in a perfect place, and the world will be a better place away from shitty assholes like you all inhabiting, crapping and breeding it to oblivion.
You know...This song sucks ass and it's a waste of my time. And as you read this Review, a waste of yours too.
This theme of Nicki denying she slept with Lil Wayne and Drake, along with Drake and Wayne denying either of them slept with her, and all of them telling us what would happen had it actually happened, is annoying as hell and serves as something to make the single interesting and sell. The funny thing about it is that no one cares if they slept together so Nicki could have a career. She's had a fantastic line of mixtapes, and Wayne really liked her style and talent, so the sex thing really wouldn't be believable here if you tried. And the lyrics from everyone here are pathetic for rich, boss, independent and real people.
Also, the beat is boring as fuck (no pun intended); so boring and barely there, you thought it was a production by DJ Mustard.; And the booms of bass between verses is annoying.
I'm just happy Nicki Minaj is making and releasing music that I like. I'll just keep listening to that, and not listen to this any more. The beat alone just reminds me of the them of the third Twilight Zone (yes, that exists and it's not that bad).
See ya next month for another edition of Short/Long Song Review. Until next time, I'm gonna try to look at chicken, seasoning and duct tape without thinking of something else.
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