Funday Friday: #4--Oddest Roll Call Ever

Ladies and gentlemen, the Super Bowl is only 2 days away, so to help us gear up for the biggest game of the year in style (and laughs), Keegan Michael Key and Jordan Peele of Comedy Central's Key & Peele give us a gut-buster.

This clip is the third installment of the hugely popular "East/West Bowl" segment, in which football players are saying their names in a roll call, with the following names getting increasingly ridiculous and impossible to pronounce. It's an absolutely genius take on football players (professional, college, high school, ect.) with oddly unique names and it's extremely hilarious.
Take a look, and look out for some familiar faces.


And, just in case, to continue the great laughs from this perfect segment, here are the other editions, too.
East/West College Bowl 1:


East/West College Bowl 2:


East/West College Bowl Rap:


These guys are geniuses and their show is a perfect riot. Comedy Central needs to keep this as long as possible (and by that, I mean 5-6 seasons and let it end on their terms.)

GoDaddy Pulls "Controversial" SB Ad After Animal Rights Groups Bitched About It

Heidi-ho, everyone.
Remember that ad from Budweiser at last years' Super Bowl, with the puppy and horse being best of friends, that made you cry tears of joy, and you hated to admit that? Well, here it is.

The reason I'm showing this, is because GoDaddy.com, the leader of making websites for Mom & Pop stores, and known for its super-steamy ads like this:

So this year, they took it a different direction. Instead of hot women doing sleazy-ass things for horny, parched men to jerk off to on the internet after the game, the ad features a dog on a trunk falling off (thanks to a speed-bump) and looks for the way home...only to get sold by a website.
This is the next big Super Bowl ad to not air on TV.

Sadly, some pussy animal rights groups started yammering on about...something that made the ad unappealing to animal lovers, so a petition on Change.org was made, and over -- signatures were signed, enough to force GoDaddy to remove the ad from the list of planned ads to air during Super Bowl XLIX. And, it's been all over the TV news shows.

I can't understand why anyone would find something wrong with this ad! I mean,
I honestly don't a thing wrong with commercial. I honestly don't. The closest thing in my mind is when the puppy got knocked out of the van and when it got "sold". Yes, those parts are shocking, and I understand the people who do hate those parts, but after the international incidents with "The Interview" and Charlie Hebdo, honestly nothing will shock me anymore for a laugh. Really, nothing.

"Ghostbusters" Reboot Cast Revealed--I APPROVE!!

Hey everyone.
It's the news that everyone has been talking about--well, the news that the magazine and newsmagazine show websites has been talking about for the past few days.
If you haven't heard, Ghostbusters, one of the biggest, best and most original comedy films of all time is getting rebooted...and with a female cast.

Well, yesterday, the cast has been revealed. And for those of you who are (still) fans of Saturday Night Live, like I am, you guys will love this:
former cast member Kristen Wiig, current cast members Kate McKinnon and Leslie Jones, and two-time host Melissa McCarthy will be the actors suiting up and saving New York this time for the reboot. I think this is a perfect cast.

But I hope this perfect cast will not use characteristics I usually think of from them:
Kristen is known for portraying annoyingly dorky and self-centered characters and Melissa playing rude, crass, creepy, annoying and highly foolish characters in her recent movies. Also, on SNL, Jones is known for being a loud, sassy, scary, sex-addled woman and McKinnon is known for creepy, goofy and sometimes off putting characters in sketches. But to many people, they find them funny or even hilarious. I only find Wiig funny most of the time, McCarthy some of the time, and Kate and Leslie all the time.

I hope these characteristics will be toned down for this film; Ghostbusters is beloved for many reasons--one of them being characters that are being funny (really funny AND smartly funny) without resorting to annoying sexual or toilet humor crap for several cheap laughs. But I think these ladies can pull it off well with some sharp writing and great production. And I've seen some of Paul Feig's work; this guy is talented and

I wish the cast and crew the best of luck with the film and belive this will be a big hit at the box office. I mean it has to be, it's Ghostbusters!
Well, of course, it still won't compare to the original film, but still.

POST #230: EDREWtorial: ColouredGate--Benedict Cumberbatch Refers to Black Actors as Colored in Interview

Evening, all.
Benedict Cumberbatch is in some hot water with the African American community.
Cumberbatch, the star of "The Imitation Game" and Sherlock, appeared on Tavis Smiley's PBS talk show last week to discuss the recent announcements of the Academy Awards nominations, which no actors or directors of color have been nominated for any of the major awards. Speaking on the topic, he mentions a certain word that has been seen as degradation to the African American race: colored.

Here's an except of the interview with Cumberbatch mentioning the word:

“I think as far as colored actors go it gets really different in the U.K., and a lot of my friends have had more opportunities here [in the U.S.] than in the U.K. and that’s something that needs to change. Something’s gone wrong, we’re not representative enough in our culture of different races and that really does need to step up a pace. I don’t want to get into any debates about that, but it’s clear when you see certain migratory patterns that there are more opportunities here than in the U.K.”

And here's a clip of excerpt:


I know that I wasn't born or raised during the previous generation to endure such a horrible experience as being separated from whites, getting severely punished for the simplest offense or called a "nigger" for no good reason, but even I think that it was a bad idea for Cumberbatch to say the term "colored" in reference to today's African American actors. And he should know better; he's a very classy, controlled, sophisticated man. So he should know that it's wrong to use that term.
Maybe because he is from the UK, and has been a bit secluded from the teachings of the Jim Crow era and the Civil Rights Movement in the US; I'm not sure, that's the closest thing I have to a good explanation in his defense. I do understand why he said it though, and he made a damn good point using it, but still, there are more better terms to use, like "people of color", "African American", "Black" and "minority". I'm not angry at him

I will cut him some slack though. He did make a good point about actors of color getting more opportunities in film in the United States than in the United Kingdom. Even though I haven't seen many films made from UK film studios, I have seen their posters, and many of them don't show black British actors on them; just white Britsh actors. Granted because most of the time, they're making films take place at the time period of Downton Abbey, but even in modern-day drama and even comedy films, there's rarely a black Brit to be seen and to be found on the posters.
And this extends to television too, where it's also hard to find British actors of color on the small screen. Granted, again, some of the more popular shows take place in the time period of Downton Abbey (like Call The Midwife, Mr. Selfridge and... Downton Abbey) Fortunately it's more easier to find them playing characters there than on the small screen.
So he makes a damn good point against his own homeland on people of color getting opportunities across the pond than in their home country; hell, they'd get a better opportunity competing on The Voice UK, Big Brother UK, and even Dragon's Den.

Anyway, after some backlash from the African American community, Cumberbatch apologized in this statement to People magazine:
“I feel the complete fool I am and while I am sorry to have offended people and to learn from my mistakes in such a public manner, please be assured I have. I apologize again to anyone I offended for this thoughtless use of inappropriate language about an issue which affects friends of mine and which I care about deeply.”

On the other hand, while I do agree the term "colored" is a term that shouldn't be used anyone in this day in age, I think that it's a better term to hear than "nigger" and "nigga".
Hear me out: I've made it known that I have hated the term "nigga" all my life, but I have gotten used to it lately. But many Blacks have been using the term casually for many decades to refer to their close friends or "homies" (remember, this term is a slight spin of the term "nigger", which was the ultimate degrading term to African Americans for cenuries). But when the term "colored" comes up, everyone's up in arms; understandably because a white person said it. But I don't feel that offended if that term was used by anyone, other than "nigga" or even "nigger", again, understandably because a white person said it. But in my lifetime, I'd be disgusted in anyone of any race said the term to me directly or indirectly. Because "nigger" has been used far more longer in history than "colored", and to me, being called "colored" is a step above being called "nigger" in my eyes (even if that term is also degrading), admittedly a little below "nigga", because at the end of the day, "nigga" is still a term used in a good way.

I just hope that this is the last time we hear of the term "colored" in this country for a long time, outside of biographical films about Martin Luther King, Malcolm X, Muhammad Ali and others.

Saturday Night Live 40 Review: Blake Shelton & Blake Shelton

Hey everyone.
You know, SNL has had its interesting choice of hosts these past few seasons. There are two scenarios to this:
1) Lorne and the producers will find hosts in actors/personalities that star in shows that air on the network to fill up the quota (It's happened before with Parks and Recreation star Chris Pratt hosting the premiere; other examples include Brian Williams, Adam Levine ),
2) or people who are popular former cast members from seasons past (which include [from the past few seasons alone] Tina Fey, Amy Poehler, Jimmy Fallon, Kristen Wiig and Andy Samberg).

Which brings me to Blake Shelton. This artist is pretty much a country music superstar (and since I've never listened to any of his songs outside of Boys 'Round Here" [which he performed later on], that's all I know). He's also popular from his role as judge/coach on The Voice, the oh-so mega-popular reality-competition series that also airs on NBC. Which explains a few things:
The Voice and SNL bot airing on the same network
Lorne seemingly not being desperate to find anyone to host to fill up quota, and this not being his doing
They actually think there can be more humor from his witty banter and “rivalry” with Adam Levine
So let’s get’r done!

The Cold Open takes us Inside the NFL, where host Greg Gumbel (Kenan) takes us into the recent scandal from the NFL (the second one since last week) involving the New England Patriots using deflated footballs to help them score games. Beck Benn appears as Bill Belichick, TKill (aka Usual Guy #2) plays the franchise’s quarterback Tom Brady (who’s pretty much an airheaded pretty boy who’s talented at throwing a ball on decorated grass), Moyni (Usual Guy #2) portrays Assistant Equipment Co-Manager Dougie Spoons (really, writers?!), the real brains (if any) of the scandal (especially at the end of the skit),
and Kate Mc, KyMoo, Pharaoh and SaZam plays reporters asking the idiots piecing questions.

I just love it when writers make a CO that isn’t political and base it from a recent scandal. But here it’s just mixed. All of the things Belichick and Brady said were really good and funny,
but some of the things Spoons says were just fucking stupid. I mean, right out of the gate, he said “You guys wanna touch my balls or somethin’?!”. Even MADtv wouldn’t write something so corny like this shit.
(Also, take a look near the end of the skit, where the old black reporter next to Kate Mc sorta...misses his mark.)
Overall it was a really good CO. However...

The Monologue is just jokes about Blake's hick upbringings (he says he’s a “Fish Out of Water coming to New York City” [because he and the writers may have forgotten of his appearance on The Tonight Show two days ago, which is 2 FLOORS DOWN in 30 Rock...and every time he’s performed a concert and made a TV appearance there] and the only comedy show he watched was Hee Haw) mixed with the usual mediocre SNL humor, featuring Pete Dave, LesJones, Pharaoh, the Usual 2 Girls and the Usual 2 White Guys (dressed like they’re not out of place in a sketch on Hee Haw) being taught about “country humor”. And by that, I mean sex with skanks, first-grade level idiots, wives who can’t cook worth a divorce and incest.

Now, I’ve never watched Hee Haw before, but I can tell from watching this, that the writers never did either. The jokes were terrible and predicable. Also, the “Deliverance” reference seemed strange at first, until the third joke from Moyni. I guess it is possible for someone to find humor in “Gonna make you squeal like a piggy”. It was pretty funny, though, and the music playing was catchy.

Farm Hunk
And of course, the hick-ness spread into the sketches with The Sketch After being a clear spoof on The Bachelor. Replace the typical white dude with a typical white dude with a thick Southern accent and a twang (which in this case, is Blake).

The ladies (all the female members) are basically hot, snotty, airheaded women from Hollywood who do porn. That’s funny.
The hilarious part about it is the genius twist on the usual trope of booting off the women of color first, and sticking with the air-headed, yet hot white women pretty much picked from the same state who'll tear each other apart (physically, emotionally, and mentally) for the one guy’s affection, and move to his horrible Iowa hometown, not realizing that they'll all be kicked off the show sometime or another. Also, I like Blake's charm, and his mocking the Southern Hick stereotype. Leslie Jones made the sketch.

Ladies and gentlemen, Family Feud Celebrity Edition is BACK!!
And this time it's the coaches...of...The Voice (Well, it was expected but at least it was funny) vs. some judges...of...American Idol.

Everyone did great with their impressions.
TKill as Adam Levine (definitely)
Pharaoh as Pharrell Williams (absolutely)
CecStrong as Christina Aguilera
Kate Mc as Keith Urban
SaZam as Nicki Minaj
Back Benn as Harry Connick Jr., and
KyMoo as Steven Tyler
And Kenan was great as always as Steve Harvey. His jokes in Harvey’s mannerisms always works for me. Although, I still hate when jokes are made about celebrities saying things that make people remember who they are for a pop. That feels tacked on and annoys me.

Parole Board
In the following sketch (which is really dark), a man in prison (in what seems like the 1940s; I’m surprised he wasn’t arrested for walking down the street) is pleading for parole, but the board (Usual Guy #1, CecStrong aka Usual Girl #1 and Shelton) is not easily impressed with his plea. Because he's a cannibal.

In the end, it was boring yet was funny. Even though he made it work, Kenan’s voice was irritating, and made me think that a relative of Sump’n Claus was in the slammer for eating people. I assume even he would give him sump’n after that.

Topeka Today: My Darlin’ Joan
On a local talk show in Kansas, a 97-year-old songwriter (Usual #2) talks with the hosts (Usual #1 and SaZam) about some songs about his wife of seventy years (Kate Mc; who I might as well call on of the Usuals too), who died some time ago. With a singer (Shelton) to bring the songs to life on-air, he wrote his pain and heartbreak was written into music. And it starts off sweet...then it gets ugly.

This sketch felt a little predictable, I could almost tell the rest of the show from then on just from that. Still, it was funny, with the "Humidifier from Hell" part being hilarious.
I also have a few problems about the couple’s old photos looking like something from a green screen, especially when the show has a photographer doing the ultra-amazing bumpers (which look legit-ly retro), but I won’t get into that.

Magician

The Five-to-One (which in this case, started 10 minutes before 1 on the dot) was also predictable. In it, a magician (Usual Guy #2) is doing a show. A guy (Blake) believes this is fake, So he tries to prove it, while the magician proves him wrong and does his tricks. This definitely the worst sketch of the night, bar none.

During the final break, the SNL Band performed a bit for the audience and viewers before cutting to more commercials. To be honest, I enjoyed that more than some of the sketches.


One of my better favorites is the spoof on hard life, pain, heartbreak and crazy people in country music with "Wishin Boot". Kate Mc, Aidy, and Shelton did great here, with the lyrics tackling many stereotypes in Country music (some that don't make sense) and ending up hilarious.

While he was good as host, Blake was better as musical guest. And boy was he great. Since I don’t listen to his music a lot, I just watched them and heard the music for the first time at face value. They were really good.
So here, I'll just make short mentions about his two performances:
"Neon Lights” is about

and "Boys ‘Round Here" is basically everything hicks do--drink, shoot, ogle women and get truck stuck (along with a terribly dated reference to that old dance craze of "The Dougie" that'll make Cali Swag District laugh at him):


Time For an Update:
Part 1:

Part 2:

This week's report from Jost & Che was a little...disjointed. Some jokes were misses, Jost was slow as ever, Che flubbed a line for the first time in a while, and dragged a bit. Fortunately, it was mercifully short like last week. And again, they've gotten better.

Riblet is something else. He's Che's old pal from high school, and was waiting a little less patiently to do his thang. And when he did his thang, it made me notice; my God, Bobby Moynihan could be really good at doing Update. I'm sure everyone enjoyed that like I did, because Moyni handled those two roles very well: being a wack-ass wannabe ghetto homie and a fake news anchor joking on the latest news in a straight-yet-goofy manner. (Che later tried again to get a cheap pop from the Audience by mentioning a guest but forgotten that Riblet's not Prince.)

Resident Young Person Pete Dave returned for another chat about what the young'ns do around town. This time gay porn. It was just like "Would You Go Down on a Guy" all over again.

The final guest, Nicole, teaches us about how to control our personal finances and assets. And she's Michael's ex-girlfriend. So of course she gives him hell. This was the weakest bit of the night, but had to be in comparison with Riblet and Davidson. SaZam did a great job though.

So Apparently, Che has been screwed over more in the 13 minutes he's had to sit in the desk this week than the 90 minutes we've had watching the show (and the two days more I've had from writing this review.) He lost his job, his ex to his so-called best friend and his co-anchor to the pack of laughing hyenas.

Man, Che can't catch one this week. That's a damn shame. #SNL

— Andrew Pollard (@APollard36) January 25, 2015

Poor buddy. Seriously, Riblet or Bobby Moynihan would be a great change of pace at the desk.

How Was The CO?
DeflateGate CO
The Kick is Good. (Heh, football reference)

Top Three Best Sketches:
Farm Hunk
FF Celebrity 2
Parole Board

honorable mention--
Wishing Boot
Topeka Today: My Darlin’ Joan

Worst Sketches:
Magician

Okay, I may be wrong here. Episode 4 with Chris Rock isn't the worst episode...This one with Blake Shelton is. Say what to want about the former; at least it had some really interesting humor and had everyone talking. And the writers had flexed their muscle that time. This, however, was weak. And super dull. The jokes were fine, but they were clearly there to suit Blake's country roots and music, and it showed. I know the show can have a bad episode every now and then, but judging the comments from a lot of people that pretty much scream "I miss the First Five Seasons even though I can clearly but it on DVD!!" or "I miss the Phil Hartman/Jon Lovitz/Jan Hooks/Dennis Miller era, even it's never coming back!", it seems they see every one after them as the bad episode. Blake did a great job as host; he showed off a lot of charm, which I really like and did his best to continue the sketches, even though they were mediocre.
Also, no one really impressed me more this week than Kenan & TKill. Kenan shined as Greg Gumbel and the cannibal inmate in "Parole Board", while Taran was great as Tom Brady and Adam Levine. These impressions have led them to the top of the best cast members of this week. Good job to them!

Next week (or later this week, since these are released on Mondays now), that guy from, among others, the Spider-Man films, The Closer, The Legend of Korra and Whiplash (for which he just won a Golden Globe Awards and SAG Award for his performance) is coming to Studio 8H. Yes, JK Simmons will be hosting Episode 13, and I cannot wait! (I probably won't really enjoy this one, as his talents won't mesh well with the writing; maybe it will, I don't know.)
See you then!

Funday Friday: #3--Better than Legolas

Hey everyone. Andrew here, welcoming you to another Funday Friday.
For centuries, Archery has been a powerful skill among men. But most men are pretty much (and embarrassingly) considered amateurs, compared to this man.

Meet Lars Anderson, who can do Archery like he's Superman. Maybe even faster than the Man of Steel. He is much quicker than his fastest competitor, and can shoot his bow at lightning-quick speeds, sometimes with more than one arrow. He's so quick, you won't know what had hit you, even though this is just a video you're watching.
In fact, here's the video of this guy in action.



Yep, he's that great. Better than Legolas from Lord of the Rings, Oliver Queen/Green Arrow from Arrow and Katniss Everdeen from The Hunger Games, for comparison. I've taken Archery a few years ago, and it's a fun skill to do, and even better once you master it. And I say, this man is a GOD at Archery. If he was a superhero, I'd let him save our streets

Saturday Night Live 40 Review: Kevin Hart & Sia

When I heard that Kevin Hart has been announced as hosting the first episode of SNL in 2015, I had three things on my mind:
1)

2) Maybe I could skip this episode or even end these reviews entirely.
and 3)


This is because I don't like or get Kevin Hart that much. His comedy may be funny most of the time, but the way he performs his comedy is straight-up goddamn annoying. He yells like a cat screeching, he jumps and bounces around like a fucking child, and his topics are ghetto as hell. And yet people (almost all of them from the African American community) find his shit the best thing they've ever heard. Plus, for the past few years, he's been overexposed in the acting industry so hard it just makes my laugh; being in an 1/8 of all films in the past two years, has been hovering the talk show circuit like you wouldn't believe, has a show on BET called Real Husbands of Hollywood (yes, it's what you think it is; and if you haven't heard of it, don't bother researching it and blaming me later) and is talked about by everyone.
It makes me sick! Which brings me to December. When he was announced as host of the January 17, 2015 episode, I just wanted to avoid the episode like the Black Plague or HIV or Justin Bieber.
But because I enjoy loving you guys, the continued love and respect you all bring of the blog--(looks at pageviews)--yes, continued love, I must continue watching SNL to continue the reviews to continue the pagevie--I mean love. If running this blog with the way I'm living life is wrong...Actually, you really wouldn't want to ask me about my life. So let's get this over with because I have a life outside of this.

So we start off with the Cold Open, in which a young man named Michael (Pete Davidson) is up at night working on a paper on Martin Luther King Jr. Then suddenly, Mr. King himself (Kenan Thompson) appears in his room and helps him learn about his legendary life. King then asks the boy questions about his legacy.
On Twitter during my livestream, I mentioned that David Oyelowo would’ve also been great as King in this sketch; not because Kenan was bad (he was pretty spot-on), but because the jokes would’ve been ten times better because the movie he starred in, the role he portrayed, and especially the because of the Oscar snub joke. I would’ve laughed my ass off from that.
It was really good. The jokes were really funny, especially those about the snub by the Academy and the throwaway about interracial love (which was taboo in the last century, but isn’t now). A great start to a really good episode ahead.

--


Kevin comes on stage for his Monologue. As expected, it was some goofy crazy shit we’ve seen from him for the past few years. But this time, it’s hilarious. After getting engaged, he and his soon-to-be wife released that they to get away from the craziness of Hollywood and move into the calm and cozy of the suburbs. But things don’t go as planned. Kevin has a problem with raccoons.

Like I said, this is hilarious.

The Sketch After is a talk show for people who still watch MTV, E!, or the new HLN (which is shit for people who base their lives on Facebook and Twitter) called Why’d You Post That.
The first guest, Kim (Nessa B) discusses her photo of the Empire State Building. Darnell is pissed about it; the photo itself, the content, focus, the effect, etc. (Man, this dude is more psychoanalytical on these photos than I am on everything I’ve talked about on this blog!) So he would throw her into The Wall.
With the second guest (Trisha [Baby Aidy])/photo (a huge, disgusting bruised toe that’d make the writers of SpongeBob blush...and get inspired), things really would pick up, despite the screen not being up to code.

Kevin’s jokes were super funny, making this sketch palpable. “The Wall” was a shocking, yet pleasant surprise. I laughed every time it comes up, even more so now that it’s online. However, during the time poor Kim went through “The Wall”, the couch hit the set wall for a second, seemingly screwing up days of practice and improvement that the producers had with it. Kevin’s vamping made it little better. And another thing, the background music for a show hosted by a black man made it look and sound super white. And speaking of white...

Corner Boys
this next one is a pre-tape about brothas on the streets talking about what they’re doing. Like spin class, shopping and wearing matching sweaters...with dogs.

This is masterfully genius; taking the stories and jokes about black guys doing things like hustlin’, running from the cops or keeping a couple AKs and Nikes on deck, and flips it upside down to get this gem. They say something gangsta, and then after the reveal, say something incredibly white. You don’t have to be Black and/or grow up in the projects during your lifetime to know that’s funny. My faves were Martha’s (Mayonnaise), Jay’s “party” (especially the part where this lady sang “I’m In Luv Wit The Coco”), and Kevin’s bitches (aka dogs from his dog-walking business). Honestly, if they said this in a real projects, they would’ve gotten shot.

“Get On Up”/Fake James Brown
James Brown (Hart) is performing at the iconic Apollo Theater, and before he starts her set, he asks his band if they wanna get funky...among other things.

I laughed hard when Brown asked his band (CecStrong, SaZam, and nearly all of the male members) some good odd questions, and gets back some really odd answers especially what they’d want for lunch I honestly started thinking about Chicken Parm with Mustard. That. sounds. delicious.

Nancy: Soap Opera Reunion
On the “Nancy” Show, host Nancy Chase (Baby Aidy) (which sounds not at all like HLN host Nancy Grace) welcomes members of the cast (Kate Mc, TKill, SaZam and CecStrong) of “soap opera” Fairwood Manor reunite for an interview. But one of the members (Nessa B) is singled out badly when she comes out on set. Just listen to her music.

It’s not great, but I did chuckle when the corny, childish music played when Ms. Bond came on and left the stage. Poor Maggie; seemed really nice. And on a side note, Debbie’s charatcer on the show must have had the life of a cat if she “successfully” killed herself 25 times. And if you know English, you have to understand it to speak it.

The Journey/Musical
A king (Kenan), and his companions (Hart, TKill, CecStrong and SaZam) are facing the wrath of a dragon destroying his kingdom and their beloved land, they try to run away, but they instead start singing a song. Over and over again.

First off, none of them can’t sing to save their lives (literally; I guess that’s why the dragon is on its rampage), but that makes it funny. Hart’s companion is aware of their constant singing, like it’s a musical, like Flynn was aware of everything going around him in Tangled. The writers took the annoying thing where characters spontaneously sing during crucial moments of a story and made it a part of the skit, which I love. Kevin’s reactions to leave also make it hilarious.

Look-a-like/Kevin’s Son
After finishing a show, Kevin goes backstage to finish up and leave for home. But suddenly, an old flame (LesJones), who somehow went past security to go to his dressing room, talks with him about an important matter: Years ago, after they had a one-night stand, she later had a son, who may be Kevin’s. The kicker...they have the same features and character traits down pat.

Jay’s imitation voice, tics and mannerisms are perfect. His voice is so fucking nasally though, it really ticks me off. Leslie was funny, too, thanks to her forcefully making Kevin accept that not-so-mini-Kevin is his son.

Listening Party
In the final sketch of the episode, which I'll call the Five-to-One Sketch (my apologies to The AV Club for the name being very similar), rapper Chocolate Droppa (Kevin's real life alter-ego) has written and recorded his latest single, which is based on his entourage (Leslie Jones, Jay Pharoah, Beck Bennett, Pete Davidson and Bobby Moynihan, Taran Killam, Cecily Strong & Kenan Thompson, which from now on will be known colloquially as The Usual 4, for any time they all appear in a sketch). In that single, however, features lyrics that clearly include embarrassing secrets that he knows about them. Everyone are not pleased.

The physical gags that Kevin did was funny, while everyone else’s reactions were really funny. The things they said, while a little weak, were good enough to make me chuckle. And the secrets themselves are hilarious. The shooting at the end felt cliched, but was still a little funny.

Justin Bieber Calvin Klein Ads
Throughout the ep., a spoof on Justin Bieber’s recent ad campaign for Calvin Klein underwear. When Kate Mc is impersonating Justin Bieber, you KNOW it’s gonna be hilarious.

Lemme just leave a few quotes:
“My tattoo...makes me say owie.”
“My pee-pee’s in there.”

This week’s Musical Guest Sia has been on a whirlwind of a year after working with Flo Rida on one of his songs (this time “Wild Ones”) sent her into the public consciousness. But unlike Kesha, we actually like her. Last year, she released her album 1000 Types of Fear and became critically-acclaimed artist. And two songs from that album were performed here:
“Elastic Heart” and “Chandelier”.
But these performances weren’t memorable because of her singing.
It’s because of her short veil covering her eyes (she really doesn’t like the concept of “Fame and Fortune”, and I don’t blame her; she cares more about the art are of music) and the people of the set:

“Elastic Heart” features the girl from the "Chandelier" video, Maddie Ziegler, and another woman in the same flesh-colored unitards doing an intimate dance number all across the stage. While you would find this beautiful, I found the choreography hilarious. In fact, from this tweet:

You know; if Kate McKinnon was in this performance, it would STILL be funny as it is now. #SNL #Sia

— Andrew Pollard (@APollard36) January 18, 2015

I thought it would get funnier if Kate Mc appeared in this sketch reprising her character from the Halloween sketch in the Jim Carrey Episode #4.

While “Chandelier” features a mime mimicking the lyrics in sign language.
I honestly thought that they were a parody of her videos, because of how absurd some people see them. But nope, they’re legit. I found both performances wonderful; Sia’s voice was perfect, and the street performers were awesome. Maddie Ziegler will have a great dancing career ahead of her.
These performances this season have been no short of amazing. Everyone who has appeared in an episode has really brought the house down with their music. Lorne and the producers have really struck gold this season, and I can’t wait for what they got in store for the rest of the season!

shit.

Time for an Update
Part 1:

Part 2:

At this point, I’m beginning to liken Jost more. I realized he’ll be here for the season (and probably another), and his sane, boring personality has gotten much more tolerable, so I’m beginning to warm up to him more and more.
As for Che, he’s still the same. Fortunately, he’s improved from flubbing lines (and making me cringe more after the fact), and surprising makes me like Colin more than him.
Also, I noticed that they didn’t do a segment together (which I usually liked), but the producers realized something was wrong, and fixed it. Too bad they realized something was still wrong.

I keed, I keed; I said I warmed up to this guy, and I mean it.

I also realized that this edition is shorter than usual. Probably because of Kevin’s Mono. I kinda liked it; if the producers keep it up like this, Update may get better and better in my eyes.

Honestly, ever since I've watched SNL since October 2, 2005, I've only ever saw episodes as ever great, good or average, with no truly bad episodes. (I was a kid with a bedtime of 8:00; please cut me some slack) The one that's truly bad to me so far was the Chris Rock/Prince episode from this season. So I've expected this episode to be really average since Darrell Hammond said his name back in December.
(Basically everyone thought it)
To be honest, though, I thought his last episode was really good; the sketches weren't bad, Kevin was pretty good as host, the Z-Shirt Part 2 gag was a great surprise and Macklemore & Ryan Lewis were awesome as the musical guest. Hell, even the new Daft Punk album commercial made this episode really good.

So, what did I think of the episode?

Overall this was a really good ep.
Kevin was a very fine host; his jokes were much better than I expected, and the “Bushwick” pre-tape was genius. I felt this was a lighter version of the Chris Rock episode though; the sketches were very...urban, for lack of a better tone, as if they were built to reach the host’s strengths and needs. But the writers toned down the darkness this time, since Hart was more of a sillier type of comedian. Plus, he wasn’t as loud and hyper as he usually is in his stand-up, so that’s a plus.

Of all the cast members who did great, I got to give it to Kate McKinnon. She was awesome! Her facial expression in the Nancy Show Reunion sketch was funny, her character in Update was a blast, and her Justin Bieber impression in the Calvin Klein Ads spoof especially was fucking hilarious. I mean it’s always hilarious, but this was one of the best of them all. She did a bang-up job this week, and I can’t applaud her enough.

As for Sia, also great during her performance. Her voice was wonderful and letting the street performers do all the work and not showing her face was a smart artistic choice, even though we’ve seen her face before (and therefore makes less sense). In case you’re curious on what it really looks like, here it is:

Next week Blake Shelton is host AND musical guest.

That's all I gotta say. See ya next week!

SNL 40 Review: Woody Harrelson & Kendrick Lamar

When I reviewed the last episode, it was just weak sketch after bad sketch after terrible sketch. Chris Rock had the energy and humor, but just didn't have the technical stuff to carry his hosting duties. And boy did Leslie Jones get the pain of being a new featured cast member, with that awkward pause right there during that "Couple" sketch.

But it seems the writers have rebounded in a big and surprising way possible, with an episode that aired the week after the Chris Rock episode, with each sketch being either good or great or even strong.

(some sketches don't have clips on YT or Yahoo, so here's the ep provided by Hulu. The sketches may be the dress rehearsal version.)


The Cold Open takes place after the Mid-term Elections, in which the Republican party won big with the Senate and House. Because of the win, President Obama arranged for a night of drinks with Mitch McConnell. What would happen was way off from what was planned.

This CO was funny as hell. Watching Obama and McConnell get increasingly smashed and do embarrassing things like Obama tearfully telling he believes the Repubs hate him, McConnell prank calling Hillary Clinton and screaming when she calls back, McC telling Obama in a foolish tone "You're BLACK!", and the President getting "in trouble" with wife Michelle. Watching the two getting shitfaced like teenage girls with fake IDs in a bar was hilarious and makes me call it the best CO of the season so far.


After the title sequence, Woody comes to the set for the Monologue, which is a recollection of some things he did in the year 1989, and is based on "Blank Space" the album of the same name by Taylor Swift. However, the memories are hazy for him, because of the drugs he smoked that year.

He was very energetic and ready for what the writers threw at him...like his co-stars of The Hunger Games movies, Jennifer Lawrence, Josh Hutcherson and Liam Hemsworth. They were added well into the Mono, giving Woodsman here a push to make it better. He did sound like he had fries in his mouth, but that made it much funnier, as he revealed he smoked a lot o' pot before the show.

After this, a promo for a new CBS sitcom called "The Dudleys", about a normal family who is out of control. Because of viewer complaints that the show has no diversity or gay characters or sex or daughters not doing girly stuff (because that's the requirement nowadays), the producers heard these whines--I mean, cries "loud and clear" and made some changes. Very unique changes.

This was a genius look into the world of television today. People bitching and moaning about why a certain show doesn't have a thing they would like in it. So instead of the producers/the network standing ground and defending it, they backed down and agreed to the complaints, marking changes to it. All of these complaints are spot-on, as these are from regular people who believe they have a say-so in what should and shouldn't be in a show. Then the "other" complaints came in, wanting the show back just how it is. That is also genius. This is one of the best pre-tapes of the season, bar-none.


Match'd
The Sketch After is fucking hilarious. This is a dating game show on MTV called Match'd. Three super horny guys (Beck Bennett, Kyle Mooney & TKill) are vying for the attention and love of one girl, Desiree (Cecily Strong).

The big catch? The host of the show, Jerry Tremaine (Harrelson), is the girl's father.
My gosh, the guys' reaction to this revelation was so damn hilarious. And the answers/dates that they have planned to with the girl were just as funny. The downside is that two of the guys look more like grown men than guys in their mid-to-late-20s. At least they could've put in Pete Davidson in; he not only looks more believable as a 20s guy, he IS 20. Makes a lot more sense to me.

"A New Day": New Marijuana Policy
In this pre-tape, the people of New York (especially those carrying marijuana) are watching a press conference by Bill DeBlasio and a special report on TV, revealing that those who carry a small amount of marijuana will not face charges or be arrested. The people are happy.

Another funny one for ya. Especially during the end where one of the potheads (Pete Davidson) begins to smoke it. The weedies are saddened. But he believes change can happen; they can make a change to move forward. And with a new stand, people can smoke marijuana in pub--ooh, Rugrats. That was a funny end to another genius pre-tape.

Football Haftime Speech
It's game day at Newton High School and the home team is having a bad defense because of a new rule that players cannot tackle other players. The coach (Woody) has some substitutions to the rule. And an alum (Kenan Thompson) has some words of inspiration for the players.


Young Tarts & Old Farts
This was a really good pre-tape. The best came from TKill with his awesome impression of Sam Smith, channeling the sad British singer very well. (Athough, people seem to forget that he does happy, uptempo song, too. See "Money on My Mind" and "Restart".)

Old New York
Four bar guys (Harrelson & the three most used cast members; you know who they are) complain about what New York has now become.

I thought this one was really weak; the many jokes about how easy it was to get and smoke crack were wearing this one thin, but some were funny. Plus all they talk about is how they can't get good fast food anymore in town. Which explains why two of them are fat and one is husky. They all just miss good, greasy, sloppy food in the city. And the other just misses the good feeling of a withdrawl. You guys know there are other things about Old New York you could miss like the music, the shows on TV, the subway, getting mugged? You know, the best the city did offer.

Campfire Song
During a camping trip, a guy (Woody) wants to lead his friends in a sing-along, but they don't know the words to any one he sings.

I kinda like this one better than Old New York because of its unexpectedness despite its not-complex premise. Plus, the "Apples" song is kinda catchy and singing the apples part can get in your head quickly.

Kendrick Lamar is BACK!!
Seriously he is one of the best hip-hop artists today. His music is awesome, lyrics are real & powerful, his flow is phat, and just a super-mega-ultra dope guy. So it was great to see him hit the SNL stage again.
Both his performances were awesome; they were ; K-Dot had that energy that was infectious, his flow was on point, his rhymes were dope and even the dancing he did was great.
Here's "i"


Update Time
Blah, Blah, blah, Jost is still a bore; Blah, Blah, blah, Che still flubs lines; Blah, Blah, blah, still a weak segment; Blah, Blah, blah.

Leslie Jones returned for more crazy relationship stories, this time invloving a crazy lady who went into and got stuck in a guy's chimney.

It just had to happen but Harrelson and his True Detective co-star Matthew McConaughey (TKill) stopped by Update to discuss the second season. This was hilarious and TKill did great as McConaughey.

Top Three Sketches:
Drinks at The White House
Match'd
Football Halftime Speech

Worst Sketches:
Old New York

Overall, this was a really good episode. Harrelson did a great job as host, and the cast did a very fine job this time around. I enjoyed most of the sketches and all of the pre-tapes. Very fine job all around. I think this could be the second best ep of the season so far.
Well, that's it. It's finally over!! The Catch-Up Session has ended!
The SNL 40 Reviews will do back to a weekly basis starting this week with Episode 10 hosted Kevin Hart, with music from Sia.
Hope this will be good. (What am I thinking?)
See you later!!

Funday Friday: #2--Love At First Chip or How Our Love of Doritos Destroyed Our Rainforrests

Welcome back to Funday Friday.

So I was looking down the timeline and I saw this interesting pic.

A couple sitting in a bathtub filled with Doritos. And I though "This shall be good". So I clicked on the pic, went to the page saw the video. It's a really funny vid about a couple who fall in love thanks to their shared love of Doritos. Absurd, but cool. But when I reached the end (like you will when you watch the clip, it'll surprise you and make you think for a sec.

Yep, Doritos is made from Palm Oil.
What makes this surprising is that Doritos owner PepsiCo goes through the world's rainforests to get part of the ingredients for the chip brand. Meaning all those Doritos they bought in the commercial (and that includes the breakfast they shared [I mean EW! Don't y'all eat anything else?!?], the "star" they made and that bath) partially came from those rainforests.

(so what's the point??)
The point is...

Rainforests across Southeast Asia are being destroyed every day to make way for massive palm oil plantations, where workers, even children, are trapped in modern slavery to cultivate the vegetable oil. The clearing of these rainforests and peatlands are driving many species like the orangutan and Sumatran tiger to the brink of extinction, while also polluting the Earth's atmosphere by releasing gigatons of greenhouse gases.

Each year, PepsiCo buys 427,500 tonnes of palm oil.

Nonprofit organization Sum of Us has been asking for PepsiCo to go a different direction in using sustainable palm oil for Doritos. As of this month...they're trying. They need you to show them a better alternative to destroying the rainforests for a snack that isn't even healthy. This petition here will help go one step closer to making a difference.


Have a great weekend, and see ya later!

(And another thing, who marries someone just because they eat Doritos? There are other things to connect with: bike-riding, photography, stock trades, photosynthesis, Adventure Time--I don't know!)

SNL 40 Review: Chris Rock & Prince and 3rdEyeGirl

Well, folks, I knew this would happen when I would review the episodes of SNL 40 I didn't review yet. And they day I watched it, I knew the second it ended that I had watched something I couldn't have watched again if it'll save my life. I watched some corny episodes of SNL in the ten years I've watched the show, but this is the clear, definite, obvious worst.
Not only of the season so far, but also of the decade so far, and probably of the millenium too. I can't say ever, because SNL has three seasons that suck ass, but this may be up there. But I have to, because I wanted to do the damn thing. But as I watched some sketches, I realized, and this is as much as a shock to me as it is to you...but they weren't as bad I though. They're actually good. Not great of course, but kinda good sketches.

(Some sketches don't have clips from YT or Yahoo so here's the whole episode provided by Hulu, with some sketches being the dress rehearsal version.)


This time, the Cold Open spoofs Fox News Channel's The Kelly File, with Cecily Strong portraying host Megyn Kelly. Her guests are New Jersey Governor Chris Christie (played by Kyle Mooney; kidding--Bobby Moynihan) and Kaci Hickox (Carrot Top; I keed--Kate McKinnon). I didn't see most of it or pay attention to it until the title sequence started.

One of the more controversial moments of the show was Chris' Monologue. During it, he makes jokes about the Boston Marathon Bombings and One World Trade Center (originally called the Freedom Tower), among other things.

I will be honest in saying that I did laugh at some of it. I honestly thought it was funny. I know some people didn't like it, and I definitely understand; I will not say that "it's been over 10 years after the September 11th attacks, and we need to move on; he's just making a joke". It's stupid. But I also won't say "it's too soon to make a joke" either. I did find legitimate humor in this monologue. Regardless, I won't say it was the best monologue of them all, but it isn't the worst either.

How 2 Dance with Janelle/Vlog
The Sketch After is about a girl named Janelle (Sasheer Zamata) who has a popular show on YouTube teaching viewers how to do popular dances. She has a creepy boy (played by KyMoo) over and her father (Rock) comes in furious, forcing Janelle to cut off the show because he believes he may be doing innapropriate dances for horny, creepy pervs.

First off, I will give the producers credit for making the room and YouTube video look look believable.
This was a pretty funny sketch; most of the jokes weren't hilarious, but were chuckle-worthy, with the most funny part came from when Rock barged in his "daughter's" room, him reading the comments like any parent embarrassing their child would, and when Janelle did the dance to the booty song; Teddy and dad's reactions were priceless. Pretty good one here.

GoProbe
Next up, a parody on the GoPro portable digital camera mixed together with a long camera used during a colonoscopy. This was genius because of how the GoPro works and what possibilities the producers could go with it. Sure, there are many others ouut of this, but it was still really funny.

How's He Doing? 2
All four of the black cast members are joined by Chris in the second (of probably few) installment of "How's He Doing?", in which five black TV analysts ask each other how President Obama is doing in second and final term of presidency. And of course, they're praising him to the high heavens. (Guess why.)

This was a weak one, but there were some good laughs here and there. I honestly expect this to appear in an ep later this season and one next season as well. I also think a version of this recurring sketch may happen after the 2016 Election with white cast members had a white president gets elected.

SNL's Shark Tank 2
In the second controversial moment of the episode, members (Rock, KyMoo, Pharaoh and Pete Davidson) of the ever-so-horrible ISIS head to the boardroom to discuss and sell the organization to the Sharks (TKill as Mark Cuban; Kate Mc as Barbara Corcoran; Kenan as Daymond John and Beck Benn as Kevin O'Leary).

I would call this one Shart Tanked, because the writers tried to be edgy and controversial with this skit. They ended up being so for ALL the wrong reasons. But I understand what they were going for. Not to be shocking for a cheap laugh, but to make a satire of ISIS (or ISIL as some call it), using the concept of Shark Tank for the humor and I get that. But they tried to emulate the edginess of the writers of the first five seasons for this, and just missed the mark halfway. I'll give em credit for the nice use of Shark Tank concept here. Also, I love how unaware the Sharks are at the prospect of giving their own money to an immoral and noxious organization hell-bent on destroying the Western hemisphere, like it's just another person selling a new item for your bathroom.

Swiftamine
In another pre-tape in which people are falling in love with Taylor Swift's music, which they don't know is. And when they find out, they reevaluate life. So a prescription medicine was made to calm their fears. Called Swiftamine.

This was another of the best moments of the ep. I totally related with Leslie Jones when I cringed to even think about liking Taylor Swift's music. The medicine concept was smart and hilarious. If I ever feel that way about

The Couple
A couple (Rock & Leslie Jones) are getting ready for a special engagement and have to get ready to leave on an Uber car. But first they argue. A lot.

My God, this was the worst. This was the worst sketch I've ever seen in the 10+ years I've watched this show. Well, it was the first time. It was barely funny, cringe-worthy, unpleasant and lackluster. The jokes by the couple were really sad and uncomfortable, the yelling was annoying, and the thing their daughter (SaZam) said almost made me cry. But the worst part came in the middle when Leslie walked in the set...looked around (assumedly for the right camera or the cue cards; whatever)...and said nothing. That was just so cringe-worthy, it hurts. This was the worst skit of the ep, and of the entire season so far. And this coming from a guy expecting what the Blake Shelton x2 episode will be like.

Robbers
Some criminals hold up a bank and do what you don't think would happen.
You know what's annoying? The taped pieces are hilarious, while the live bits are meh at best. The writers do better with these than the latter, where they barely ever try anymore.
Anyway for the pre-tape itself, it was very funny. Seeing the robbers doing anything other than rob the bank with a high caliber of preparedness was really cool. Also, some of the reactions were chuckle-worthy too.

Women in The Workplace
And finally (Thank God), a commercial for Women in the Workplace. I din't see much the first time, and after watching it again, I didn't think this was all that great.

To be honest, this was the part of the episode I couldn't wait for. Prince is BACK! With new music with his band 3rdEyeGirl, we knew he was gonna shut the stage down, and he did. And then some.

-First off, "Clouds". It has a 90s vibe while still be a recent song. His piano work is wonderful and the chorus is really catchy once you remember it.
-Next is "Plectrumelectrum", which is an awesome guitar solo
-We then go straight to "Marz", a super rockin' dity that lets the guitars do the talking. Man, that was awesome!
-and finally, it's "Another Love", a wonderfully smooth R&B ballad, that goes straight into nothing but guitar
He and 3rdEyeGirl fucking killed.
I'd say that this was the best performance by a musical guest this season (no so far). It's gonna take a lot for me to change my mind and make someone else be the best. Prince killed it, and is the best for the entire season. Bar none.

Update Time
Part 1:

Part 2:

Jost & Che are in the spirit of things...sorta. Both are the same as last time, and of course Michael had more laughs. He did flub a line with the Apple joke, and used Prince's performance to save himself; I cringed hard. I actually like this dude more than the other, but at least Colin had yet to slip up. I feel ashamed to be bored by him.
-Pete Davidson returned for another segment on what the hip young people do these days. Of course he was hilarious, but I feel that throwing him in every other week is going to make his segments look, feel and sound weaker and weaker. Just every three weeks is fine, okay?
-Also appearing were Katt Williams and Suge Knight. Jay's Williams impression was amazing. The way he says "boo-boo" just always gets a rise out of me. Kenan was also great as Suge, but couldn't reach the heights of Pharaoh's Katt impression.

So after reliving the brush fire that was this episode, I learned something: that this ep. wasn't as notoriously terrible as I thought. I still found it really suckish, but to me, these sketches do have a change in opinion after repeated watches. They do get a little more funny after the first time around.
Chris was great as host; he did his absolute best, and made me laugh at some jokes, but at the end of the day, it's still one of the more weaker episodes so far. But I wouldn't be surprised if the audience laughed more loudly if Kevin Hart or Blake Shelton made jokes in their episodes in the next two weeks. Or cheered if someone from The Voice appears. I'd be infuriated, yes, but not surprised.
The black cast members got a big push from the producers this week, appearing in almost all sketches, making the big push relevant thanks to Rock's hosting. (At least that's how I see it). On the white side of things, Kate Mc was the best with her impression of Kaci Hickox beig really good. She really held her own in the sketches she appeared in.
So yeah, weak-ass episode all around.

Tomorrow is the final episode of this little SNL40 Catch-Up session here, hosted by Woody Harrelson, with music by Kendrick Lamar. After watching this episode, that one had to be better. See you then!

SNL 40 Revew: Jim Carrey & Iggy Azalea

Hey, guys.
SNL 40 Review Catch-Up continues with Jim Carrey, still one of the best comic actors around, as host. Let's see what comic craziness he'll conjure up this time.

The CO this squared on President Obama (Jay Pharaoh) giving a press conference on the second person in America that has contracted Ebola. He then changed things over to new Ebola czar Ron Klain (Taran Killam), who will answer questions from reporters (Cecily Strong, Bobby Moynihan, Aidy Bryant and Beck Bennett). Then after he fails to show how he's worthy of the job, for some reason, Reverend Al Sharpton shows up.
This was shit. The jokes weren't funny, Sharpton did not save it, help it and wasn't even needed in it. This is the worst CO so far this season.

Monologue time, as Jim takes the set in a really nice costume. (It IS the Halloween ep, after all) It's a red Elvis-like jumpsuit and attached cape and horns on his head, dressed like The King of Rock 'n Roll himself. We'll call him HElvis.
He performs a song number based on Mr. Presley's assumed favorite snack--peanut butter and banana sandwiches. TKill, CecStrong, Sasheer Zamata and Kenan Thompson join in on-stage to give it a bigger pop.

This is the best monologue of the season so far; the song is funny and catchy, Jim's impression of Elvis was awesome, the Helivs sign at the end was so damn cool, the choir joined in during the song was way cool.


The Sketch After is a family reunion of sorts for good ol' Jim. And the members are quite colorful. In fact, so colorful, they may remind you of some people. This skit was real genius, combining cast members/family members with some of his most famous film characters:
TKill as Jay (Possibly my favorite of it all for how he has the speech mannerisms down pat)
Kyle Mooney as Percy/
Beck Benn and Nessa B as John & Rita/Ace Ventura
Pharaoh as Cable Guy Eddie Torres/Ernie "Chip" Douglas--The Cable Guy
CecStrong as Aunt Kay, and
Moyni as Cousin Wayne/Stanley Ipkiss/The Mask (Second Best of the skit)
His Dumb & Dumber movies co-star Jeff Bridges makes a cameo as Grandpa Lloyd aka Lloyd Christmas, and God does he hold his own here.
The downside is The Riddler from Batman Forever shows up out of nowhere to be in the family picture. That's a shame, because I wished he could have a couple lines in it, but NO! We get the ass-mouth couple instead.
I have to say this was the best sketch so far, but since this ep is hosted by Jim Carrey, we may have some contenders in the wings.

Graveyard Song
The next sketch takes place at a cemetery, where a couple (SaZam and Pete Davidson) are going to have a spooky night ahead. Then, without warning, two headstones, a walking statue and a tree with a face start singing as if we're riding the Haunted Mansion ride at Disneyland. Screwing up the rag-tag group's plans for their deaths are Paul and Phil (TKill and JCarrey), whose part in song basically involves their names repeated over and over.

This one did have some funny parts (Paul and Phil's introduction, the tree's goofy-ass voice and dialogue [like he's a 7-year-old girl], and how goofy this whole thing is. It's not that great, but it is enjoyable.

Secret Billionaire
In what has to be a spoof of Secret Millionaire, a woman named Stacy has met four men,
(Mike, an obnoxious internet genius
Gordon, a nice but dorky owner of retail chain
Abbot Bonneville Cane, member of the Illuminati, and
Tony, Hip-Hop mogul)
with one of them being billionaire.
Oh man, this skit was shit. I pretty much knew the second he spoke, that the funnier lines would be coming from Carrey, and even they suck.
Also, an obvious goof. Near the top of the sketch, we see a white-haired man from out of nowhere getting into a seat, we assume. Later, it's Carrey in a wheelchair. OOPS.

High School/Zombie Attack
In Powder Springs, Georgia, during a major zombie apocalypse (Oh God), four teenagers (KyMoo, Beck Benn, CecStrong & Kenan) band together to protect and save each other from the flesh-eating monsters. A father also on defense mode brings his son (Pete Dave) along, but he doesn't realize that he's a zombie.

As soon as "Attack" came up on screen, I knew this skit would be following the zombie trend, made popular by The Walking Dead of course. This one was super crap. Carrey just doesn't help help the teenagers are stupid as fuck (they just can't tell that's a zombie in front of them!) and Kenan makes a shitty Southern accent.

Office Costume Contest
It's Halloween at the office and everyone has shown up in their best costumes for an annual contest. Karen shows up as Maddie Ziegler from the video of Sia's "Chandelier", and Rick shows up as...Maddie Ziegler from the video of Sia's "Chandelier". So a face-off to determine the winner in the form of a dance-off of whoever can perform the vid's dance the best way possible.

None of them can do it, but that's the best part of the segment, which started off lackluster, put picked up as soon as Rick came in. Creator/executive producer Lorne Michaels and musical guest Iggy Azalea both appear in the skit: Michaels flatly refusing in his 20th time showing his face on-camera, and Iggy also showing up as Maddie, doing something way better than the abominations--uh, performances by her you'll see later below in the review.

Lincoln Ads

Oh and I should mention this: during the first half-hour of the episode, Jim is a perfect imitation Matthew McConaughey in the spoof of his ads for the Lincoln Motor Company. These promos were perfectly hilarious and shows that SNL can be more funnier when the pre-tapes air.

I don't know if it's Iggy Azalea's fault her performances were craptastic, but since a lot of people hate her and/or her music, I can believe them to a certain extant. But to be honest, it was craptastic. The audio was fuzzy, Iggy's vocals were bad, there was popping, the dancing was a bigger joke than most of the sketches, and the best parts were both Rita Ora's surprise guest performance and the end of both sets. Yes, it was THAT bad. So bad, it made me think that the people in the control room hate her too, so they intentionally messed with the sound. No one really cared for Azalea performances; it was all about Jim Carrey, but then virtual unknown MO came and everyone's talking about them.
See for yourself.
Here's the medley of "Fancy" and "Black Widow" with Rita Ora.

And "Beg For It" with MO/ (can't put the slash in the O. My God, this had disaster written all over it, especially on her.

I felt sorry for MO because of the stuff that happened during the performance. This shit shouldn't have happened to her, but it's live television, and things like this happen and will stay a part of the annals of TV history forever. She had this to say a few days later:
"I was beyond EXCITED (!!!) -- but unfortunately I had some technical issues which caused latency on my vocals, and as a result I got confused and my timing was off. It pains me and I'm SO sad today. But life goes on..."
And another thing, I would've loved Iggy's ass if it wasn't so fake.
Update Time:
Jost bored me. When I watched this ep. the first time, everything that came out of his mouth almost put me to sleep. Che was still great.

So, yeah. I though this would be a great show, but but it lacked BIG TIME. Jim did his best, and that was great. And the cast tried to. But I honestly felt that the writers wrote the best jokes catered to him and any joke written for the cast either misses completely or is good, but leaves a lot to be desired.
Also, this annoys me. I would love to see all cast members get a shot to be in at least one sketch every week, but some cast members always get the spotlight to be in more than one. Some of the biggest offenders are Booby Moynihan, Taran Killam, Kenan Thompson, Cecily Strong, Kate McKinnon and Aidy Bryant. I know they're all popular among the group and talented, but for Christ's sake, they take up more screen-time than the other cast members! Can't Lorne, the writers and the producers give the other cast members some time? I know they're trying, but the other cast members have talent. Please, writers and producers, give the other cast members more equal time. Please, for me? Okay, you might not read this, so my opinion's pointless.

Tomorrow, the Catch-Up continues with...Chris Rock. Ugh. See you then!!

Pissed-Off Wife Cuts Off Cheater Husband's Penis...TWICE (*shiver*)

WARNING: Contains content some readers may find disturbing

Men, take this word for it: DO NOT PISS OFF YOUR WIVES. It'll cost you a major organ. Like this man in China did. In fact, it was his penis.

37-year-old Fan Lung decided to use the cellphone of his wife, 21-year-old Feng, to cheat on her. The mistress in question: Zhang Hung, also 21-years-old. When the fornication session ended, Fan forgot one important thing: DELETING THE MESSAGE!

One night after reading the message, and therefore learning he cheated on her, his wife was understandably pissed. But she didn't let her husband and father of five children off that easy. Nope. She didn't kick him out the house. She didn't burn his stuff. And she didn't beat him up. She went into their bedroom while he slept...and cut his dick off. He later went to the local hospital to have it surgically reattached...only for Feng to find him and cuts his cock off again!!. And this time, it's off for good. She throws it out the hospital window to the ground below.

After he couldn't take the pain of losing his rod anymore, Fan chased Feng out of the hospital (losing blood in the process) and into the street, getting into a fight with her. Hospital workers ran outside to see all the craziness going on.
A spokesperson for the hospital had this to say:

“Staff rushed out to see what was happening and found the patient with blood streaming down his legs hitting the woman. He was stopped and the woman was taken in for treatment, and then we discovered she had chopped his penis off again.”

After the fight, husband and wife were taken inside: Feng to recover from the fight and Fan for losing blood from his now-permanently-destroyed rocket. Despite searches for and finding the spot where his dislodged doinker was found, local authorities were unable to find it. Meanwhile, his dime had this to say on the matter:
“It doesn’t matter that he’s lost his fertility. He has five children already.”

First of all, what the hell kind of man uses his wife's cellphone to send an email to his side chick?? Secondly, who still sends emails as a primary use of sending messages? And Third, how crafty was the wife for sneaking into hospital and doing the dirty deed a second time? And fourth, who found this hilarious?
When I first read the story, I laughed uncontrollably. In fact, when all I read was "In China", I lost it. Because if I know any one race who can settle revenge with a blade, it's the Chinese. But this is just rich.

Dude, you're a fucking idiot.
--First, for underestimating your wife
--Second, for cheating on her
--Third, for using her cellphone to cheat on her
--Fourth, for LEAVING THE EVIDENCE on her phone
--Fitfh, for cheating while being a five-time father, and
--Sixth, for keeping the door to your hospital unlocked

(BTW, I don't condone cheating; but if you do, it's smart to erase the messages)

Plus, the side chick, Zhang Hung, is a dumb bitch. What she said about losing his skin flute was stupid. Saying “It doesn’t matter that he’s lost his fertility. He has five children already.” is like saying "It doesn't matter if I can't eat candy anymore because I have diabetes, I can still eat meat and ice cream". It really sounds like she still wants to get busy with Fan or is done being his secret freak toy. You do know that if you're helping a guy cheat on his wife, don't you need a third leg for that?

Anyway, I think what Fan Feng did to Fan Lung's bald-headed yogurt slinger for cheating, while absolutely sickening, was absolutely awesome. (I don't condone chopping body parts off either) That dumbasshole deserved what he got for cheating on her. Especially for doing something so stupid like using her phone for cheating and leaving a message on her phone.
But hey...things could have gotten worse. His nuts could've gotten the short end of the stick too.

Saturday Night Live 40 Review: Bill Hader & Hozier

Hey everyone.
The SNL 40 Review Catch-Up continue this week, and joining them is this episode hosted by Bill Hader, the 8-year cast member who makes his return to the show after leaving two years ago at the end of Season 38. I just have to say after the premiere, I was wrong. This is the best episode of the season so far.
Hader hosted the episode guns blazing. He brought back some of his fan-favorite characters and impressions including Herb Welsh of WPXD News New York, war veteran/ventriloquist Anthony Peter Coleman with his puppet Tony, and Weekend Update city correspondent STEFON!! And he didn't miss a beat or slow down; his performance was amazing. So amazing, it's like the other cast members were trying to keep up with him. It's like he never left.
Bill Hader was my all time favorite cast-member of all of SNL, and I loved all of his work on the show, so being excited to hear that he'll be hosting an episode this season, and to see him back on Studio 8H is a complete understatement.

As we begin, the Cold Open takes place in North Korea where Dear Leader to them (and Dear Pain in the Ass to us all) Kim Jong Un (played by Bobby Moynihan) has been away from the public for a long time, and his guards (all the other white male cast members) is worried about his health. Un gets his fat ass up to deny he is horrible shape (he's actually an Olympian), and proves it to his guards in embarrassing ways.
This was a good CO, showing off Mr. Moyni well as the Dear Leader and gave him the chance to do some really good dancing.

After that and the usual, Bill walks out to the stage for his monologue, and instead of standing with the host for a minute, he's there the entire time. And he's nervous. After a brief synopsis of his life before, during and after his time as an SNL cast member He then goes for a song, but mentions he has a voice like Harvey Fierstein.

Fellow former cast member and co-star of his critically-acclaimed film The Skeleton Twins Kristen Wiig joined him on stage to give him a push to sing. Things didn't turn out great. Fortunately, Mr. Fierstein came to save the night, teaching Bill that it's best not to sing from your head, but from your peni--I mean, heart. The Bill gets to sing! This was a really funny Mono.

The Sketch After featured a return of one of Hader's popular characters, Herb Welch, reporter of WPXD News New York. His report this time centers on an epidemic of teen sex and teen pregnancies at a local high school. Of course, things don't go well as planned.

Of course, Bill doesn't miss a beat. That cranky curmudgeon of an old man still makes me laugh with his misunderstandings, racism- and ignorance-tinged remarks and ability to end his reports quickly with not much style and certainly very little grace.

"The Group Hopper" Trailer
Next, a pre-taped trailer spoofing the ever-popular post-apocalyptic, dire-straits, woe-is-me, fight-to-the-death, straight-from-a-book, teen movies. A guy (Pete Davidson) is thrown into a world of choice (but not his actually) as he must be part of a group of people who are born to...be a part of a group.

This spoof was a brilliant one, tackling all the characteristics and tropes of such films and blending them all together in such a perfect package. And Hader was great as a parody of Effie Trinket, a man/woman with hooves that can ruin a low ceiling.


Later on, a brilliant sketch spoofing Hollywood Game Night. Kate McKinnon was great as host Jane Lynch, with everyone else doing amazing as the celebrities they're portraying:
-Cecily Strong as Sofia Vergara
-TKill as Christoph Waltz
-Jay Pharaoh as Morgan Freeman
-Beck Bennett as Nick Offerman (if fact, he was so damn good, the audience either thought so too, or thought that the real Offerman was in the sketch)
-Bill as Al Pacino, and
-Wiig as Kathie Lee Gifford (although I find her portrayal so annoying because of her mean-spirited behavior toward Hoda Kotb)
Although, I wish celebrities portrayed on this show aren't so stupid or absent-minded; it's annoying and doesn't really make a sketch great. I know it can work, but there are other ways to have celebrities in a sketch act normal, and still make it funny. This is kind of an an embarrassment, especially for Freeman and Offerman; they know better, dammit. At least Lynch was on the same page here. Oh, and the contestants (Vanessa Bayer & Aidy Bryant) don't do much. That clearly doesn't happen on HGN. It's like the producers only saw the celebrity parts of the show and used that. Know what? Forget it; it's still great.

39 Cents
Just like this next pre-tape, mocking those commercials in which cheap white people beg other to send pocket change to them to help destitute people of destitute countries survive another day.

My God, this was brilliant, brilliant, brilliant. Hader was great as Charles Daniels, but the true stars of the show were Kenan, Pharaoh, SaZam and (especially) Leslie Jones as the destitute people. Everything they said and their perfect timing on Daniels really made this sketch. Plus, the fact they chose a low amount of money to send to these companies in their commercials was really spot-on. Makes no sense to give low if these folks want the destitute to survive at least a month. I applaud all who appeared in the sketch, even Nessa B. as the assistant with the coffee.
When I first saw this and laughed hard at Leslie Jones' dialogue, I said to myself, "She has got to be a cast member; they just have to promote her."

And just a few days later, my hopes and wishes (along with those of pretty much everyone else) would come true and by the next episode (hosted by Jim Carrey), Leslie is now a full-fledged featured cast member of SNL.

"Love is A Dream": A Tribute to Jan Hooks
After this, Bill & Kristen return to the main set to present a tribute to Jan Hooks, one of the most memorable and beloved female cast members in the show's history. Jan passed away on October 9, 2014, from cancer. In this tribute is a beautiful pre-recorded video, "Life is A Dream" starring her and fellow cast member of the time, Phil Hartman, who himself is one of the most memorable and beloved male cast members in its history.
This was an absolutely wonderful tribute to Ms. Hooks and sent me to tears after watching it. May she and Mr. Hartman rest in peace.

Puppet Class 2/Coleman & Tony

Another fan-favorite of Hader's characters also returned--Anthony Peter Coleman and his puppet Tony. We start this skit in Puppet Class in the Learning Annex. Three ventriloquists-in-training are learning to master the craft and two of them (CecStrong and Moyni), their puppets and the teacher (TKill) are in for a rude awakening when the other is a part of the class--Coleman and Tony.
This segment is funnier than the last one. The further insight into Coleman & Tony was endearing to the sketch, and all of Tony's jokes were so damn hilarious.

"It like a cookout, and we were the meat. And I used my best friend as an umbrella!"

"I was not charged with war crimes."

"If I had to use emojis to describe my time in Crimea, it would be: palmtree, flamethrower, baby, flamethrower, mosquito, mosquito, mosquito, mosquito..."

"I did not lose a full year of my life in porno theaters."

"Here's a joke--GOD."

"I was a honeypot, a sex trap; I DID WHAT I HAD TO DO."

"Can you tell me how to get--" "How to get THE NIGHTMARES TO STOP?"

And I felt that the other puppet-masters (Moyni and CecStrong) were there just so we can ignore them and watch Coleman and Tony. Meh. This was a great skit.

Inside SoCal
After the break, a pre-tape by Mooney & Bennett; sound be good.

I always love the old-school vibe their shorts give. The production makes it fantastic. Also, the weird concepts of these are great; you never expect what happens here. You thing something happens, but something else does. And if something you expect happens, it gets taken up to a high level of insanity. However, the jokes here were flat; I actually laughed only twice. So this isn't the best I've seen from Beck & Kyle this season. I know they'll do better next time; they're that good.

Cat
This Ten-to-One Sketch is something Dr. Seuss would write in a world where he's gotten drunk one day and wrote to release a demon in his brain. One day day, Sally and Nick (Aidy & Pete Dave) are inside during a rainy day. They are bored and ask their mother (CecStrong) what to do. Then someone at the door comes in; it's The Cat in the Hat (Hader)! to the kids' amazement and their mom's...horror. Cat tries to juggle making the kids' day better and making sense of his former flame's new life without him. Then, their father (THING 2! aka TKill) shows up.

This twist in the skit made this one the best, in which Cat hope to save the day, but ends up a pest. And the reveal of what made Cat a bother, is that he may be Sally's so-very true father. This just made me howl like a wolf to the moon, and read people's tweets on Twitter like an affable goon. And Thing 2 showing up would make this much more crazy, with the thing Cat says at the end was extremely hazy.

"But Oh, The Places She Let Me Go."

This time around, the musical guest is of actual talent: not only can he sing, he can also write, play guitar and make truly soulful and powerful music that can make a army veteran cry. His name: Andrew Hozier-Byrne. But here, we'll call him Hozier.
The two performances he does were just fantastic. The music, the lyrics, the vocals, the vibe. Everything was fantastic.
So instead of just saying how great they were individually, I'll just give a rundown of both songs:

"Take Me to Church" is a gospel-tinged rock love ballad about Hozier comparing his lover's love and sex to religion. It's also written as commentary on sexuality in his native Ireland and on Russia with it's attack on the people of the LGBT community.

"Angel of Small Death and the Codeine Scene" is a bluesy song of rock & soul about, I assume to be, a guy who falls for a girl whose love is like a drug. The love he receives is painful, but the feelings are so good, he couldn't leave her.
These songs contain beautiful and powerful lyrics that take the listener in, and puts their emotions in a corner, putting you in a dark and dreary world that you can't escape until the song ends (In fact this dark and dreary world in his music is based on our dark and dreary world, so it has a touch of real life in it). But it sounds so amazing that that you want to get locked in it again. It's so damn good. He's so damn good. He has so much talent that it would be a crime for him not to pursue music.
Overall, Hozier did that shit and he rocked it. He will go very far in music; I just know it.

(On a side note, I just love the part of his "Angel of Small Death" performance when he gives a big smile during his guitar solo. Made me give a big smile as well. I just love it.)

Update Time:
Well, Jost & Che have gotten better as a team. Colin is still boring, but he has gotten the hang of anchoring, and Michael has stopped flubbing lines and proven himself. I honestly see they both doing better each week, but the fans of the show and people giving them shit for no reason just isn't giving them the time or credit. I will though.

Anyway, it's (at the time) fall in New York and--you know where I'm going with this. STEFON'S BACK!!!

He really hasn't missed a beat with him. The kid we all know and love with his strange recommendations to even stranger New York hotspots over the years has become a hallmark of modern-day SNL. So to be super-excited for his return (something we all still know would happen) was an understatement. His jokes all worked (like they wouldn't):
-His puzzled look after meeting Jost & Che ("One of each." "Barack, Mitt.")
-His way of pronouncing and enunciating the names of the hotspots
-The repeated mention of former MTV VJ Dan Cortese
-and of course, those weird, creepy hotspots that Stefon has recomended for years.
Another great thing of note: Stefon's pregnant!!
Congrats to him and husband Seth Meyers.

And with that, the end to another show and another review.
My God, what an episode! Every sketch was great, made me laugh, and featured some well beloved characters that Bill just couldn't pass up to reprise and us to watch again and fall in love with one more time.
Everyone did great in some capasity this week (even writer Leslie Jones), with the biggest offenders being Moyni and CacStrong appearing in almost all of them. I did get annoyed by this, but I didn't mind. They did great. Everyone did.

And that ends another review. Tomorrow Jim Carrey returns to SNL to host the Halloween episode. Will he be insane? Yes. Will he be funny? Yes. Will Iggy Azalea rock the stage? NO. Of course, I've got my review. See you then!