Monday, August 11, 2014

100th POST of 2014--Maroon Mondays Awards Reviews: Teen Choice Awards 2014

OH MY GOD, I'M reviewing THE Teen Choice Awards AGAIN!!!! Ugh.
Anyway, I think this parody from Family Guy sums up how goofy, hyper-active and strange this show is. Plus, the names for the actors that come on the show is absolutely spot-on.
Brian definitely said it best:
"Every year I recognize fewer and fewer names."
Boy, was he right.


Anyway, you know what the Teen Choice Awards are, so I won't get into it. Here's last year's review for more:
http://maroonmondays.blogspot.com/2013/08/teen-choice-awards-my-review.html


This years' show (held from the legendary Shrine Auditiorium in Los Angeles) was hosted by Teen Wolf star Tyler Posey and Modern Family star Sarah Hyland. I did not like it. At all.
Here are some highlights (as I would call them, Lowlights, because of how mind-numbingly painful they were):
-Tyler was painfully awkward and sweaty here and Sarah seemed doe-eyed dull, but she was better than Tyler at being funny because she stars in the most popular sitcom on TV. Whatever the writers wrote probably knew how corny it was and loved to see how many laughs it would get, so they sent them in anyway.
--Tyler shook his butt in front of Jennifer Lopez, who's known for her butt more than her music. He ought to be lucky he's not as much of an acclaimed actor, or else that would've been a huge embarrassment on his part. Oh, and it wasn't funny. Or enjoyable. And I have more of a butt than him.
---Keeping Up With the Kardashians has 10 SEASONS (!!!!); 8 more than I could EVER fathom. Cosmos was in the same category, but lost. No more can be said about this.
----And many more to mention, but I can't because I need my brain.

But just because most of the show was horrible, doesn't mean there weren't at least a few great moments. Here are the Highlights of the show:
--There was a brief reunion of cast members of Shake It Up when Bella Thorne presented the Candies' award to former co-star Zendaya. It was so sweet and heartwarming, and nice to see CeCe and Rocky together again. (And she looks so damn good.)

--When Ariana Grande accepted the award for Choice Female Artist, she gave a beautiful and touching speech, which mentioned the hard time her and her family suffered after the passing of her grandfather. She really kept it classy and sweet ending it by thanking her fans for the love and support she received from them and to never stop doing what you loved. That speech is the best part of the night for me.

--Donald Sutherland won the award for Choice Movie Villain for The Hunger Games: Catching Fire. Surpringly, he's not young with washboard abs, but what makes me happy is he's not young with washboard abs. The fact that he won showed that the teenagers voting (or the producers; still keeping an open mind, here) at least sometimes have an eye for true talent in some categories. The mention to his wife of 42 years (who agreed with their choice) were beautiful, and also, the salute some audience members made during the speech was pretty cool. The other best moment of the night, folks.


I'm gonna be honest: I've watched this show for many years. This is the first time ever that I've never heard of almost anyone who steps foot on stage or is mentioned during the opening credit. Literally, almost no one I recognize. It's like I'm grateful for the repeat offenders of these awards, just so I know at least half of the people appearing. So after 90 minutes of this, I just had to turn it off. I came in at least happy, but left disgusted, annoyed, and depressed. Maybe I was too hard on the BET Awards; sure their categories are predictable but at least they have surprises and great performances to make up for it, but this is sad, shameful and frustrating. If I were a girl, I'd sadly be just like them; screaming for whomever is hotter or has nicer hair or can take off their shirt. It's that terrible. And you know what? This said it best about one thing:




This gave me the wakeup call I needed to realize: The voting system is rigged to please the teenage girls who watch every year. And this works almost every time. And to get ratings. Basically, all you have to do is show up and you're given a surfboard. If it's that easy, maybe I should star in a TV show or movie catered to teenagers, be hot and popular and just show up at the show. I just might win one. So easy.

Let's get to the performances. 85% of which I hardly know of.

Demi Lovato kicked off the show with her latest hit "Really Don't Care". I really did enjoy this performance although the appearance of featured artist Cher Lloyd was more apathetic: I thought she was lip-synching. Plus my siblings (who were watching with me) were commenting that she was a little different in her appearance (i.e. She got bigger). I thought that was uncalled for and really didn't care. She is still her.

Next, our latest Canadian export, MAGIC!, took us to Reggae-town with their monster debut "Rude". Which is about some guy asking a father for his blessing to marry his daughter, and ends up a whiny pussy when he says No, calling him Rude, that he's the one who's Rude. There could be a reason why the Dad doesn't want to give his little girl to this dude, the chorus telling what it is. He wants to start a family with her, whether the dad likes it or not. And just because he's human, he expects everything to go his way. Outside of the authentic beat, which is fantastic, the lyrics are terrible and shows how dickish the guy is.

The performance was great, however, and the band plays very well live.

RIXTON (a British band I've never heard of before last night), performed two songs. Double the less recognition. They are "Wait on Me" and "Me and My Broken Heart" (a song I heard on Rising Star by contestant Macy Kate; I thought it was a song she recorded).

I thought they were a really good band. Those are very upbeat with some nice lyrics so I'll give them a listen sometime.

Becky G perfomed her hit (God, I need to listen to radio a little bit more) "Shower". At first I thought the song is about a guy she wanted to date, but didn't, because he stinks. Anyway, it's just a typical "white girl acting like hip hip" song--Oh wait, she's Latina? Oh. My dearest apologies. I barely heard any lyrics from her because she spoke so fast and it's kinda funny that way. The beat is really nice, though; I give her that.



And finally, Jason Derulo performed "Wiggle" and "Talk Dirty", the two song that involve a woman's backside and what he wants to do with it later on. Surprisingly, I think I like this one better than Demi's. It's bouncy, amazing and fun from start to finish. The dancing was awesome, his vocals were killer and the songs aren't that hated to me anymore. The segue was awesome. The beat from "Wiggke" is irritating to many, but I enjoyed it. Although, I did say to myself when the female dancers came out, "There is no way those are real. They look more like pillows."
Anyway I enjoyed this performance so much, I wish I were there. The screaming and corny humor would be totally worth it.

On an overall scale, I thought the performances were really good. They were wonderful to listen to and the performers were perfect for the show and the teen demographic. The producers knew what they were doing and did a great job with it. I comment them for that half of the show...the other half, however...

And now, this years WINNERS:
Choice Summer Music Star: Female
Demi Lovato
Choice TV Actress: Drama
Lucy Hale, “Pretty Little Liars
Candie’s Choice Style Icon
Zendaya
Choice TV Actress: Sci-Fi/Fantasy
Nina Dobrev-“The Vampire Diaries
Choice Movie Actress: Action
Shailene Woodley-“Divergent
Choice Summer TV Star: Male
Tyler Blackburn-“Pretty Little Liars
Choice Break-Up Song
Amnesia” -5 Seconds of Summer
Choice Movie Actor: Sci-Fi/Fantasy
Josh Hutcherson-“The Hunger Games: Catching Fire
Choice TV Show: Drama
Pretty Little Liars
Choice TV: Reality Show
Keeping Up With The Kardashians"--
Choice Movie Breakout Star
Ansel Elgort, “Divergent” and “The Fault in Our Stars
Choice Movie Actor: Drama
Ansel Elgort-“The Fault in Our Stars
Choice Female Country Artist
Taylor Swift--STILL?!
Choice Summer Song
Really Don’t Care”-Demi Lovato featuring Cher Lloyd
Choice Movie: Drama
The Fault in Our Stars
Choice TV Reality Personality – Female
Cat Deeley-“So You Think You Can Dance
Choice Twit
One Direction
Choice Movie Chemistry
Ansel Elgort, Nat Wolff and Shailene Woodley, “The Fault in Our Stars
Choice Movie Liplock
Shailene Woodley and Ansel Elgort-“The Fault In Our Stars
Choice Movie Scene Stealer
Nat Wolff-“The Fault In Our Stars
Choice Web Star: Female
Bethany Mota
Choice Web Star: Male
Tyler Oakley
Choice TV Actress: Comedy
Lea Michele, “Glee
Choice Movie Actor: Comedy
Kevin Hart-“Ride Along
Choice Comedian
Kevin Hart
Choice Movie Villain
Donald Sutherland-“The Hunger Games: Catching Fire”
Olay Fresh Effects Breakout Star Award
Odeya Rush
Choice Viner
Cameron Dallas
Choice Web Star: Fashion/Beauty
Zoe Sugg (“Zoella”)
Choice Web Star: Comedy
Our2ndLife
Choice Web Star: Music
Shawn Mendes

Now that that's finally over, I can't wait for the Video Music Awards to come in 2 weeks. Of course, I'll have the review the next day, so see you then. Goodbye!!

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