Welcome to Short/Long Music Review, where I find songs (I either love or hate) to review them in a short review that took a long time to review.
Today I review three songs that are about metaphorically hurting some poor slut's vagina, having money we poor folk could never have in a million days, stealing women in other relationships, and smoking illegal drugs like Freddie Prinze. All three are, in my taste, mediocre to various degrees, and I hate four of the participating artists (all featured) so here they are:
I Love This S#!t by August Alsina featuring Trinidad James, Beat It by Sean Kingston feat. Chris Brown and Wiz Khalifa, and Tapout by Rich Gang featuring Future.
So we start with "I Love This Sh!t" by August Alsina featuring Trinidad James.
This is basically a generic modern R&B song about drinking, sleeping with random women, smoking illegal drugs and loving it like it's your last days on Earth. I like August's voice; he's pretty talented for a Chris Brown or Usher wannabe. But his voice should not mesh with these shit lyrics and chorus.
And then there's Trinidad James. You may remember him for his song "All Gold Everything". I hated it; just like I hate him. He is untalented, lucky to be in the business, and is really funny-looking. In fact he looks like the product of Bootsy Collins and some black girl from Fat Albert and the Cosby Kids. But...as bad as it was, his featured performance here is better than the one on "All Gold Everything", which is like saying rotting garbage is better than battery acid.
So August needs to find better better material to sing with, because the usual R&B ditty of drinking, smoking and fucking is getting older by the day...and Trinidad needs to get all new everything.
And now, another song about the three C's: Cunts, Coitus and Coke, "Beat It" by Sean Kingston feat. Chris Brown and Wiz Khalifa.
Now at least this is better than "Love This Shit" in it's approach to Women. The guys see girls with with other men, and the girl wants to leave because she wants a better and spicier and raunchier--okay I lied. This is no better. It's just a song about stealing another guy's girl and freak with her, treating her like a disposable cellphone. They just think she's leaving him for one of them. Which is a joke, because the girl would rather be safe with him than life-threatening with them (Chris). Although the hook is, as I admit, pretty damn catchy. As repetitive as it is (saying Beat It over and over), it's something that can be a good earworm with a beat you can dance to. That is until Wiz comes in. In short, it's lyrics about getting high, saying her "nigga" needs to step his game up and getting her wet (like the ocean...heh heh heh).
So it's just another of these. These rappers and singers new to find things to rap or sing about, but they're too absent-minded and in the green to do so. And the people like this. SMH
And now to the final song of the three (and probably the creepiest), Tapout by Rich Gang featuring Future.
And you thought this was about wrestling.
Honey Mustard? (Shiver) Thanks Lil Wayne. You help me lose my interest in that. Before I begin, Rich Gang is a super group featuring members of record labels Cash Money and Young Money
So where the f*ck to begin? As usual, Lil Wayne has usual dic-I mean schtick about sex and his choice of women with low self-esteem and standards with men. And his voice? Dear God. Birdman has his million-dollar (blank) thing, Mack Maine is suckish at best and Nicki Minaj (with her Anjelica Pickles voice) talking about someone's ass (I don't know if it's her's, but who cares?). And everyone says "pussy" more than once. It was nasty for me to hear it in past few years in this context, but now it's just annoying. Future is great here, fortunately because he only does the hook. And speaking of, the second half of it is sadly and undeniably catchy.
And there they are: three songs I didn't have to review but I did, because-well-someone had to. The hooks are catchy, but the lyrics suck (on that) ass. But it's up to you if you want to listen. And next time I will be back to find another song to review (I hope it's good; who am I kidding, it's probably bad)
See you next time.
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