Hi everybody. I'm Andrew and I welcome you to a brand-new, somewhat-improved, under-slightly-new-management and monthly Short?Long Music Review. After many months of reviewing only one or two songs--with a rare chance I'd do three, I decided that I change the format significantly this year; I will review twice as much. Six songs! Maybe even more. And with that, instead of doing thoughts and riffs on songs in pop and hip-hop, and occasionally R&B, I hopefully also want to review rock, country, indie and maybe gospel and christian. I'll praise whatever song I can praise, and I'll riff on any song I thought is worth riffin' on.
Instead of releasing them whenever I feel like it, always writing till the last minute, I'll release these new-look reviews at the end of each month...always writing till the last minute. So...
All right, are you ready? Then let's go!
"New Americana" - Halsey
Ummm...this song is a joke.
"We are the new Americana
High on legal marijuana
Raised on Biggie and Nirvana
We are the new Americana"
Really? I'm pretty sure you were swimming in your mommy's uterus when Nirvana was in its dire straits. And you were ready to grow spending life after womb when you listened to "Life After Death".
Also, there's no way that the whole Americana smokes pot, since it's not even legal in America outside of two states!!
This song tries to be dark, dramatic and personal--as it is in the beat, but it ends up obnoxious, tacky, plastic and forced...just like the people it tries to base itself from. And the music video enforces it, looking like the filmed diaries of secret, elite society of outsiders shunned by the mainstream world and coming together united ...but looks like an over-dramatic millennial drama piece BBC Three (or as its logo implies: BBC II! [eye-eye-exclamation point) shoving what we already know about people like them down our throats.
Like this:
"Young James Dean, some say he looks just like his father
But he could never love somebody's daughter/
Football team, loved more than just the game,
So he vowed to be his husband at the alter"
--That too.
"Oh, look at that guy! That guy's gay! Let's say something seemingly meaningful and heartfelt yet empty and pointless about it."
This song is very stupid, very vapid, and very clearly pandering to a different kind of lowest common denominator. It's like the demographic of Freeform, trying to cool, bold and different, but sounding as obnoxious and annoying as the shows it airs (although Baby Daddy and The Fosters aren't that bad to me)
If this is the "new Americana", I'd rather leave and blend into a simple, wonderful Canadana.
Now let's get more pop, as in pop songs released last year.
Selena Gomez has hit the public skids once again with he latest hit "Same Old Love" from her latest album Revival, which seems like nothing much has changed for her.
This heartbreak ditty isn't very different from many others. Selena's lover left her and she's moping on about it.
The beat is good and catchy and give a nice sensual vibe.
But the lyrics over it are some you've heard many times before. Plus whatever that is in the bridge shouldn't be called a bridge; it's just "I'm so sick of that love" over and over again, with the fat black guy voice effect used every other time. It's annoying. I'd say it's slightly less better than "Good for You", although that wasn't a great song to begin with. It's pretty catchy and enjoyable though, I'll give it that. Other than that, it's a mediocre Gomez groove I wouldn't smash the replay button for.
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"Drink You Away" - Justin Timberlake
The one and only JT is back with another song from Part 2 of The 20/20 Experience, an album released 2 years ago.
It's one of those "drink to forget about a girl, but can't 'cause she's still there songs". It's sappy, and one-notw. JTim's lyrics are awesome, though, and the beat is frickin' uplifting. The large_yet-equal mix of rock, pop, country, Memphis soul and gospel just make you wanna get up and dance or nod your head or even catch the holy ghost, or whatever.
other than that, the track isn't that great...and shows that 2 of 2 is less a continuation of the Experience--and more a collection of songs that aren't great enough for Part 1, but are fine enough to play for the fans' money and royalties. If anything, it's best to find the instrumental and enjoy that. It'll be the best non-sung, blasphemous, non-hymnal hymn you've ever heard.
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Remember those comparisons he's received to Michael Jackson? Well, they're reinforced here, and for good reason. The skin-tight, strong-as-an-ox beat is definitely one Jackson would make with Quincy Jones in the 80s during the Bad era, Abel's vocals very well line up with MJ's, and the concept and lyrics can be seen as a modern-day version of "Dirty Diana".
Plus the video looks like a visual Jackson would make back in the day.
So, whoever said that Weeknd does not have the sound like Jackson can pipe down now.
I won't say he's a worthy
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Yes, I actually like the album largely, and it's thanks to one of the singles "Love Yourself". Clear and away, it's a hate anthem to some woman he used to love, but now despises because of her treatment of him and her behavior to his family and friends, which makes him realize that his tries to make it work failed and now tells her to...love herse--no, fuck herself.
While Bieber doesn't sound talented enough to sing on an acoustic production, this song is sincere enough to enjoy. To me, I can actually believe that he's in a bad relationship with a straight-up bitch, and that despite his tries to keep the peace, he just won't handle her and dumps her.
I enjoy the simple, minimal blue-eyed soul guitar production and the pops at the end of the verses.
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It's quite really ironic that the title of the mixtape from Drake and Future is What a Time to Be Alive. Because it's clear they both sound close to death after a cigarette addiction.
This is "Jumpman", a single from said mixtape, based on Michael Jordan's Air sneakers brand for Nike. Even though they make no mention of them in the song other than the title. I honestly don't care much about that.
The beat is nicely dark and mysterious, which may explain why Drake said "Halloween" in the intro. I won't say much about it, but somehow it's a really fine touch.
It's not really a bad song. It's quite really good, actually.
Drake has some damn killer energy and hot, witty raps-- Some of which are also corny, but I sure get a good kick out of them. Some of them also do repeat, but actually don't annoy me.
What does annoy me are Future's lyrics and vocals.
Besides using some of Drake's lines and repeating some words to fill up space; he sounds exactly the same--slathered in Auto-Tune, sounding like he's muttering in his sleep, and has no chemistry with anyone he records/preforms with at all. He certainly drains the great vibe Drake produces every time he's on, and it feels like it just picked itself up when Drake comes back in. It's clear he's the worst part of the song.
Also annoying is that not-tired trend of ending every line with saying each syllable in a high pitch, like they're asking a question. It's irritating and not smooth at all.
"I just found my tempo, like I'm DJ Mustard"
If your tempo is the same register and the same lazy elements thrown over, then yeah, you are DJ Mustard. And it's hilarious that they mention DJ Mustard like he's still an awesome genius in music (he's not, and never will be), when he hasn't been relevant all of last year. It's sad, really. And it's a good thing too, the guy left a huge impression of crap over crap in that time, and left a vile taste in our mouths since them.
Even with Future doing verses, it's a really good song, and I would actually listen to it more often.
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This song is a 3:45 Instagram ad. That's all there is. Just talking about women who use the social media site and make a career out it, using them for sex, and then moping about how bad they are about everything else. Yet it's claimed that this strange social class of people are a source of danger and horror. How fucking pathetic.
This song does not need Puth in the chorus. His high-pitched singing is annoying and does invoke enjoyment, or drama; it does not even invoke interesting. It's just irritating. Besides the obvious--Lil Wayne being a creepy whore-monger--he acts like a creepy suitor to Instagram models, one of which wants 10,000 followers-which is a weird prospect, unless she wants to be the most niche model ever. Plus, he sounds as obnoxiously processed as ever, which turns me off even more.
Plus the music video is stupid. The cyclone of women--who look more like cardboard standees than real women, the streaks of light--as if the clip is produced by JJ Abrams, and the fact that Puth forgot to realize that the song sound nothing like a piano ballad and looks like a damn fool.
This song is disgusting, pompous, annoying dreck, and shouldn't have been made, especially because it's a part of the soundtrack to the documentary, 808: The Film, an "inspiring" story of the 808 drum machine. Like anyone wants to watch/enjoy the history of an overpriced, overgrown drum.
It's like "Drop it Low" (remember that) by Ester Dean (remember her) from the soundtrack of the LeBron James movie More Than a Game (you've never remembered that), a song that really doesn't fit with the soundtrack of a film that has nothing to do with the song, yet is anyway.
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I won't ask if you remember him, because it's clear you don't...or won't...or you never heard of him. But you will by the end of the review.
It's been years since I've actually consciously heard a song of his all the way through, and I'm seriously almost regretting myself for it.
"I see your girl post her BM, so I hit her in her DM"
-I hope BM here doesn't mean 'bowel movement'.
"All eyes yeah I see'em/yeah that's your man I hate to be him (whoop)"
-You hate to be her man, who actually gives her love and respect, while you, a D-list rapper at best, can only show her a possibly-not-impressive dick game and
This song is about Gotti essentially stalking a some guy's girlfriend, and making himself even more a frickin' creep with endless amounts of pictures and texts on social media sites like Snapchat and Twitter.
"Snapchat me that pussy{...}if it's cool"
You do know that Snapchat is a site where other people can see your posts for several seconds before it disappears? It's like you're asking yourself to toe the line between secrecy and adultery here, which is made obvious with this line: "I tell her, don't you hate when you get screenshot (petty)".
Also, the beat sounds weird, like it's the perfect song to play as a leitmotif for a stalker. Now that I think of it, it makes a lot of sense.
""
This song is not only stupid, but also instantly dated. But it's not "Nothing But Trouble" stupid, which is insanely brainless.
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I need to wash my hands of these damp, dripping pieces of slop, and take a detour into country.
Sooo... more slop.
let's start with...
"Gonna Know We Were Here" by Jason Aldean,
proof that country has gotten more dumber and dumber.
In this song, Aldean and a friend (who has to be a woman), are gonna have fun (like every other country track). Already, from the first line, it reminds me of his very reprehensible track "Burnin' It Down" . And the high school football imagery in the lyric video looks like what could be a tripe parody of "Friday Night Lights", and suggest Jason and his beau are gonna sneak into a game or a prom, which is weird.
"They're still gonna know we were here"
It's like saying they were class clowns when they went to school, or they're actually at the place now, and will embarrass themselves by 21 Jump Street-ing with the students, showing where the times were. Wow.
I can get if this was a song about life as a high school football player...but
this is a stupid, corny song. But not "bad" stupid, corny.
The instrumentation is weak, the lyrics aren't that special, and Aldean's vocals aren't great. But...
I wouldn't mind this song, but I wouldn't love to play it either. It's forgettable, yet not irredeemable. I never found much interest in Aldean (outside of the country award ceremonies); and with this song, I don't think I will again.
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And speaking of people in country I'll probably never listen to again...
Luke Bryan brings us another reason not to trust middle-aged white men at parties (only because they look and act more gullible than teenagers throwing them) with this duet with Karen Fairchild of Little Big Town called "Home Alone Tonight".
It's just a drinking song. A drinking song that doesn't sound out of place being sung by Usher or Chris Brown or Trey Songz or...every other R&B singer today. But at least the woman's single and not with another guy, so that's a big frickin' plus. Also it's short, so another upside. I think it's a better song than some of Bryan's party ditties, but it's not that great a song. I will enjoy for what it is, though--a song not about taking a taken girl and starting anew with a woman who is single.
Although the "send it to my ex" line is corny as hell.
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Now to get to our final genre, Indie.
This can include any genre under it--pop, R&B, country and rap.
For starters, it sounds like a sort-of opposite of the Ed Sheeran song of the same name.
Until you realize it's not.
At first, I wasn't so positive towards it because of the beat. I feel like dark, depressing songs with trap percussion in a hip-hop/R&B song about taking another guy's girlfriend isn't impressive or should not mix together at all.
But there's a twist! He claims the girl is in a bad relationship with her boyfriend, and he wants to make break up with the other guy and get with him. Questionably noble, and really doesn't sit well with me.
Also, for an unexplained reason, the term "young nigga" fucking annoys me. Most rappers or hip-hop singers saying this don't look young anyway, and says this to make themselves feel good.
Other than that, this isn't terrible at all. Considering the guy got noticed and co-signed by one Timbaland and one Drake, he's become a popular R&B . And this explains the slow beat, the garbled background voices, and the comparisons in his voice. But I recognize and applaud his talent and success.
"Don't" is a pretty good song, and I'd be okay with listening to it sometime.
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Gosh, this guy. This guy is the feeling for me.
This is James Bay, a British singer-songwriter making waves on both sides of the pond with his immensely amazing sounds in pop rock, indie rock and folk rock. When I first watched him perform on CBS This Morning: Saturday earlier this month, I kinda thought, "Oh my gosh. This guy is awesome. He needs to be huge here."
It's about a breakup, with the two parties deciding to kindly part ways and start anew.
It's deliciously moody and depressing, yet sweet and kind in good faith. The sound calls for coffee houses and record shops, but it's broad enough to speak to a lot of people. And because of that, this song is perfect. I love the slow style of the progression, along with the great guitar slicks throughout.
and for added awesome, look no further than his next single, "Hold Back the River", which is just brilliant.
This one is faster in tempo, but is just as loved as (if not more than) "Let It Go".
This guy bring me fond memories of The Fray, which had a similar style in pop rock, and became a secret favorite band of mine during their heyday. Here he has full potential and exploits it all in a brilliant fashion, in vocals--which seems irritating to some people, but great to me; compositions--personal and from the heart and soul, and production, by
Even though both these singles were released in 2014 (hell, one of them was re-released because of the slow popularity of the other), I'm glad I got to hear of them now. This guy is a very talented musician and deserves his new-found fame here. Let's hope it continues for years to come.
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And finally, a song that charted at the start of this year thanks not to later popularity from a previous song, but to a car commercial. Specifically the commercial from the American Honda Company...
When I first heard this song in the ad, I thought of it as a song by an ultra-alternative band like MGMT or Capital Cities or Foster the People, which was released last year, 2014 or 2013. I loved hearing it, so I wanted to find it and play it in full, but I had trouble looking at first, since I had no idea what it was or who sung it. So I went on Ask.com and after a hard look, I went to a site that archived TV spots, telling me what the song was. Then I researched on Wikipedia, where I was shocked to learn it didn't come out in any of those years. It was released in 2008.
But nonetheless, I was very happy I now know what it is to just finally hear it.
And when I did, I was mesmerized.
This is "Walking on a Dream" by Empire of the Sun.
This song...is like the bee's knees. The mix of synthpop and new wave is like a mild trance into an unknown land. And in it is a wonderful party filled with bright colors, happy fun people, flying animals with black bead eyes and edible glass and tress. Like you would see in a nice acid trip.
The beat is frickin' fire: the new wave/synth--which sounds so 80s--is so smooth, you can spread it on a bagel; the drum work is simple yet catchy you can't help but mimic it halfway through; the vocals of both members has a very good flow and mixes extremely well together--it's like both are the same person, with backing vocals from that person; and the groove is so damn fantastic, that you can't help dance wherever you are--standing, sitting, by yourself, with other people, even driving. It's like Duran Duran and Kenny Loggins had a baby, and that baby got adopted by Elton John. That's what I thought it sounded like. And it really shows the year it was released, too.
Also, when I went to the video on YouTube, the one thought on my mind wasn't how strange the video is (which would fit in on MTV or VH1 in the mornings at any time), but how many people would mention the Honda commercial in the comments section (as in "Honda brought me here."). There were HUNDREDS. Fuck, they never mentioned the car brand! That's how huge and influential the song and ad is now.
Anyway, I'm just so grateful I just heard of it now instead of never, because it's just like the title implies: a dream.
Thanks, Honda, for unleashing this song to the rest of the world, and not letting it sit and fester like the many other alternative rock songs of the era, only to get a few plays at Starbucks and the random mom-and-pop coffee shop that show open-mics on Thursdays for extra sales.
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Well, that's it. Seems good for the first edition.
Also, there's a trend going on here in most songs. There are two verses more plays of the chorus, and no bridge. While it's fine in EDM songs, it seems to have spread in other genres. And for some reason, it drives me crazy. It's like the writers realized that no one cares about . It's seems lazy. But I'm trying to move past the rage and accept it. And I really think this trend will continue throughout this year. We'll see what happens.
Also, I'm actually not to angry with the songs featured here.
Thank you for joining me for the first edition of the new-look and not-that-new-feel Short/Long Music Review.
I have a feeling that less songs will be reviewed as time goes on, because there will be slow traffic on the charts (like 405 slow)--unless I go deeper into the charts for fodder.
See you next month.
I like New Americana :( Yeah, the lyrics are a little cringe-y, but the beat is nice and for a song written by a 20 year old, it could be a lot worse.
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