Hi, everyone.
Let's talk about Issa.
No, not the iguana from Dora the Explorer
(And yes, her name has one S and not two. Sue me for making corny jokes you still laugh at).
Issa Rae is an actress, writer and producer who began her rise to success in 2011 with her YouTube series Awkward Black Girl. After the show went viral and became an award-winning hit, Rae took her talents to television where she met with TV magnate Larry Wilmore to create a sitcom that was a more real, raw and refreshing take on life as a black woman. That series would be picked up by HBO and debuted in 2015 to critical acclaim and multiple Emmy and Golden Globe nominations among other accomplishments, including a few for Rae for Best/Outstanding Actress in a Leading Role. That series is Insecure. As a fan of the show, I say she perfectly struck a brilliant tone (along with her staff and co-stars) of portraying black women and men in a great tone. You can also find her in several hit films like The Hate U Give, Little, The Photograph, The Lovebirds and Oscar-winning animated short film Hair Love.
To this end I ask: why wasn't she on SNL yet? I mean she's funny, pretty, young, and a woman. One more element and she would've made the cast (white). Oh that's why. At any point after Insecure premiered she would've been a perfect host had they ask her. I mean I all can afford HBO, so I'm surprised she hasn't even been asked once.
It would be a much more sensible number of appearances than Justin Bieber. Speaking of, Canada's biggest and most despised entertainment export since Johnny Test returned to the music scene earlier in the year with "Yummy", what has to be the most godawful song about food since "I Love Chinese Food" from the audible abomination known as the Ark Music Factory (apologies for reminding you of it) and "Intentions" (thr most vanilla song about praising your girlfriend for not being Marion Cunningham, with Quavo throwing his usual gibberishy nonsense about... stuff). Bieber performed both in his last appearance, and for some reason, he's back on the Studio 8H stage. Probably because he has some more hits from album #5, Changes. Maybe they couldn't find anyone else to fit the slot in time because COVID. Otherwise, I have no idea as to why they brought him back eight months after his last set, where anyone should've overlayed embarrassing videos on the green screen during Yummy anyway.
So... I'll see you guys soon for my thoughts on episode three. Not as they happen though. My brain and fingers aren't fast enough. Time to adapt to one to three sentence format.
Here we go with the Cold Open... which is about the two town halls featuring Joe Biden on ABC and the shitty key-shaking-attractor with 45 on NBC. I'll skimp on J Carrey as Biden because I've said all I did before - same with Alec Baldwin as Trump. I'll just say this, I said out loud when they took place that I hoped that SNL would shit hard on it. They didn't. It was basic, boring, had a few chuckles from me (I'm guessing that was the point), and the most amusing thing was the TV static graphic-- which implies someone still owns a box TV. The joke about Trump jettisoning a Latina attendee almost made me puddle myself. And good on the costume department for the the well-done remake of they strange "lemme see those chompers" lady. This felt like it went on forever but great effort.
Remember when I asked why Issa hasn't hosted yet? Turned out she was to host, back in March. March what, you asked, because John Krasinski was supposed to host on the 28? Anyway, our melinated queen of a host's monologue was pretty hilarious. She lied about being the first black person to host (not even this seaso , that was Chris Rock) and being Mary J. Blige (although every other white person would believe it), and waxed ghetto-cal about her life, experiences and rise to fame. Such charm and charisma and relatability.
The Sketch After is BonjoirHi!, a French-Canadian CBC morning news program. It was not funny but okay. I will say the highlights were Issa and Bowen Yang with their charming fake French accents and attempts to... act it. Fun Factoid: The only reason why Drake was even mentioned her was because Issa appeared in his music video for "Nice for What". Now that is good.
As was the Pre-Tape After based on 5-Hour Energy. Called 5-Hour Empathy, this version helps racist white people feel sorry for minorities. I feel these people exist and they that drink should too. The fact that they don't want to drink it perfectly touched upon those people who don't want to change to adapt to the society. That's okay. I'd feel the same about them.
Next up... a date goes weird when a women's exes pop up for no reason but to reminisce. The exes are hilariously quirky and does have me question her taste... although she does inspire me to have a more expansive pallet when it's safe for me to get back in the pool soon. This one was better than the last live sketch. But as this point I'm not excited for what's to come.
Speaking of not excited, here's Justin Bieber. Again.
And I'm sorry... but making a track that sounds like something you'd hear on TBN but is about wanting to marry and bed a girl is disingenuous and gross. Fortunately, Chance the Rapper came in and made it better (or at least tolerable). And that Joe Pecsi line was pretty brilliant. I will happily have it stay in my brain for a while.
Weekend Update unapologetically went after 45 during his rallies and town hall this week. Jost's dig on Trump losing and leaving the US is brilliant and Che's swipe at their own network was bold was deserved. (Seriously, fuck NBC for that Trump shitstain of a counterprogramming tactic. I hope his shitting on you after years of kissing his unnatural ass was worth it.)
Mikey Day and Alex Moffitt return as Eric and Donald Jr., with Moffitt nailing Eric down pat, and Chloe Fineman appearing as a version of Tiffany I'm willing to believe is accurate since I've stopped seeing her as a Trump kid I can tolerate (I'm now Barron-only). I droned out because my TV connection kept cutting in and out. But great job this week.
Also, does anyone know who is host and MG next week? I don't think we've heard anything yet. Quite strange.
Your Voice Chicago was decent, propelled mostly by recurring guest Maya Rudolph and PUNKIE POWER Johnson as Discount Diamond and 99c Silk.
Justin Bieber came and went like hs did on the cover of Vogue for Lonely, a woe is me for everyone hates me song. I have no feelings for him on that but great job singing the halls of 8H though. That ending made me laugh too.
So, this sketch was about some batshit crazy proud boy associates hijacking a commercial for a fast food restaurant to bitch about hating masks, forcing the establishment to open back up while it doesn't make sense, and... kidnapping a governor. It's a bold sketch, but it was ruined by the audience being afraid to laugh at it. I'm sure the joke was that they're whispering their swiping threat as they don't really want to do it for fear of getting caught; a brilliant analogy of these types of people -- talking big but doing small.
And finally, an ebay ad for people who thought they would have a lot of new things to do during the pandemic, but instead got lazy and wasting away. This was hilarious and accurate, because I was just like them. But instead of taking new things, I just slept all day, lounged all night, binged on takeout, gained weight, and bought new WWE WWE replica title belts (maybe that's a hobby). I won't take them back though. Maybe when this is over, I'll try one thing and if I fail, I'll say I tried and won't anything else, but stick to what I'm good at... this. (Okay, even I don't believe that.)
Overall, this episode was... mediocre. The writing was all over the place, but consistently weak. The punch wasn't there at times, and my interest fleeted slowly. They tried their best but I have a feeling things will get a bit worse come next week . Issa Rae was a good host; she did a quite sweet job with unmistakable energy and charm to carry on. And, as much as I love her, I'm already starting to get a withdrawal from Maya Rudolph as Kamala Harris. I know we're over two weeks away from the election (thank God, Jesus and Mary), but a brother needs a breather before we see her again. My excitement is starting to falter. Same with Carrey as Biden. Baldwin as Trump can eat a dick for all I care. At this point, if you guessed that I have run out of much more to say, you'd be right.
Goodnight everyone.
Update: a host and musical guest are found.
Adele, the one and only, will return to Studio 8H for episode four -- but won't be musical guest. She will be hosting for the first time! That other temporary moniker will be given to the equally-talented and beautiful H.E.R. in her 8H debut.
I'm very excited and counting the hours for this one, and I hope you are too. See you then.
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