Hi everyone. It's Andrew with a review.
So the Academy Awards took place on Sunday. Hosted by Seth McFarlane (and not McFarland as some have actually thought), the show was as buzzed about as it should be. People thought he would crash and burn; some thought that he would fail the minute he stepped out on stage. And as much as I hate this guy for creating Family Guy, I was hoping that wouldn't happen. Fortunately, it didn't happen. He kept it classy as he kept it humorous. In his monologue, McFarlane mentioned some of the years' nominees and made some jokes at their expense. Some of my favorites include one including making Tommy Lee Jones smile, Daniel Day Lewis in character as Abraham Lincoln looking at Don Cheadle and trying to free him, Roman Coppola being nominated (like every other Coppola), and making a Django Unchained joke about Chris Brown beating Rihanna (not the first, not the last) though I admit that shocked me too.
At first when William Shattner (aka Captain James T. Kirk #1) appeared on giant screen from the future, announcing that McFarlane is going to destroy the show, I thought "Oh no, this going to be horrible", while at the same time thought "How did the producers know the show would this bad?". Kirk showed Seth reviews of his hosting duty, ranging from "Worst Oscars host ever" to a mediocre "Seth McFarlane proves to be mediocre host", which Seth settled on because it's the best review he's ever gotten.
Kirk then showed McFarlane recordings of the telecast, including a not-so-subtle ditty about...the titty, "We Saw Your Boobs". My favorite part was when Jennifer Lawrence actually smiled; I nearly died. Seriously, a gay men's choir? But over time my perception changed as the monologue went on. Kirk shows a reenactment of Flight...with sock puppets. That was absolutely hilarious.
Instead of the usual "stick-the-host-in-the-movie" shtick, McFarlane chose a song and dance routine with Daniel Radcliffe and Joseph Gordon-Levitt. Kirk then showed Seth making Sally Field uncomfortable as the Flying Nun. (At least he mentioned Gidget, which I think is better than The Flying Nun) And then they kiss. And so McFar responded with another (sigh) song-and-dance routine, to the tune of "Be Our Guest" which actually was masterfully done and made me want to sing along. During this monologue, it felt like I was watching another awards ceremony disguised as the Oscars. And that's a good thing concidering what we're about to see.
Some of the presenters were, at best, awkwardly funny. Octavia Spencer acted as is she was about to brag about her surprise-but-well-deserved win last year, but thank God she didn't; the cast of The Avengers tried to go through the speaking parts and go to the nominees, but one of them keeps pulling back, which is embarrassing and humorous at the same time; Halle Berry...Halle Berry. Her just saying "Pussy Galore" make all guys swoon for her. (Yes, I'm misogynistic. Whatever.) Some of the other presenters were and kept it classy. John Travolta was true to his word when he said Oscar a lot. Then came the winners. While some had their speeches short and sweet, others...well, let's say that one was so long that the theme from Jaws was used to basically say "All right, you said enough. Now shut up and leave!" It was used twice more, but fortunately the speeches were shorter.
Now to those who performed. The ever so beautiful Dame Shirley Bassey performed the title theme song from the 007 film Goldfinger in celebration of the 50th anniversary of the James Bond films. She looked as great as she sang. Even in mute, she is incredible. Next was a celebration of the musical films of the past decade, including: Chicago, with Catherine Zeta-Jones performing "All That Jazz" (I didn't notice she was lip-syncing because I was busy looking at her body.), Dreamgirls, with the always-amazing Jennifer Hudson performing "And I Am Telling You I'm Not Going" (she didn't need dancers or SFX or even more than one light), and the cast of Les Miserables performed basically almost everything (actually it was "Suddenly" and "One Day More"). All three were magnificent. Later on Adele sang the title theme song of the current 007 hit Skyfall. She left her heart on stage, but picked it up later on with her Oscar win for Original Song. Finally, after the In Memoriam segment, Barbara Streisand performed one of the best compositions by the late Marvin Hamlisch, The Way We Were. Both beautiful and heartwarming in memory of a great composer.
There were a few moments that made me almost say "What The Serious F*ck" Basically the part with the German Nazi was the WTSF moment of the entire show. Then came Anne Hathaway...and her nipples. They was popping like the sun in your face. The aforementioned Avengers mess-up is another. Seriously if you mess up, improvise or say "the nominees are...", don't point it out. And the scariest moment was when the mention of Best Picture nominee Amour came up. Now I'm afraid to go see it. Jennifer Lawrence falling to the stage, thanks to the big ass dress she wore. That made me laugh at her and fall for her at the same time. At least she has grace. And last but not least, McFarlane was joined by Kristin Chenowith to perform a song to celebrate the losers of the show. I couldn't hear it, nor understood it.
And now the WINNERS:
Picture Argo (Grant Heslov, Ben Affleck, George Clooney)
Actor Daniel Day-Lewis (Lincoln)
Actress Jennifer Lawrence (Silver Linings Playbook)
Director Ang Lee (Life of Pi)
Supporting Actor Christoph Waltz (Django Unchained)
Supporting Actress Anne Hathaway (Les Misérables)
Original Screenplay Quentin Tarantino (Django Unchained)
Adapted Screenplay Chris Terrio (Argo)
Cinematography Life of Pi (Claudio Miranda)
Costume Design Anna Karenina (Jacqueline Durran)
Documentary Feature Searching for Sugar Man
Documentary Short Subject Inocente (Sean Fine and Andrea Nix Fine)
Film Editing Argo (William Goldenberg)
Foreign Film Amour (Austria)
Makeup and Hairstyling Les Misérables (Lisa Westcott and Julie Dartnell)
Original Score Mychael Danna (Life of Pi)
Original Song "Skyfall" from Skyfall (Music and lyrics by Adele Adkins and Paul Epworth)
Production Design Lincoln -Production Design: Rick Carter; Set Decoration: Jim Erickson
Animated Short Film Paperman (John Kahrs)
Live Action Short Film Curfew (Shawn Christensen)
Sound Editing TIE-Skyfall (Per Hallberg & Karen Baker Landers) and Zero Dark Thirty (Paul N.J. Ottosson)
Sound Mixing Les Misérables (Andy Nelson, Mark Paterson and Simon Hayes)
Visual Effects Life of Pi (Bill Westenhofer, Guillaume Rocheron, Erik-Jan De Boer and Donald R. Elliott)
And that's my review of the Acade--I mean Oscars. (sigh)
Good night, everyone and see you next year.
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