Sealab 2020: Andrew Applauds Animation

Morning, class! Today we're taking a trip to the Challenger Seamount to meet the crew at work and witness shark attacks, oil spills, bounties on marine life, malfunctioning submarine destruction--  wait, what!!

Hey, everyone! I'm Andrew and I think it's about time I review a classic cartoon from back in the day. Waaaaaay back in the day.

It's Sealab 2020.

The Show:

Welcome aboard Sealab, a research base on the underwater Challenger seamount. Found on the base are a small but brilliant 250-strong group - men, women and children -  dedicated to the findings and cultivation of the newest scientific discoveries contingent to our world’s natural future. But in their mists are unforeseen threats -- shark and squid attacks, oil spills, environmental  catastrophes, threats to marine life, etc -- challenging the crew to their limits, but always coming out on top, with all lives spared. It IS Hanna-Barbera after all.

Created by Alex Toth and produced and directed by William and Joseph themselves, Sealab 2020 takes place at an underwater research base and features the adventures and tribulations of the people who work and live there, both of which in the year… 2020. The series, produced by Hanna-Barbera Productions, aired Saturday mornings on NBC from September 9 to December 2, 1972, lasting for one season of 13 episodes.

The Plots:

Sealab 2020 is one of Hanna-Barbera’s few animated series that is a full-blown drama. Although it has some genuine humor in a few scenes per episode, it is still a more serious affair.
Each episode features the crew going about their lives and jobs to find, create, cultivate and/or protect (or a combo of the four) new and old discoveries throughout the ocean blue in very serious plots pertaining to our environment and the lives of our aquatic friends, but also features genuine threats to indefinitely throw Sealab and its human inhabitants into disarray. Sea animal attacks, natural disasters, and random damages to Sealab, its inhabitants, and the Challanger Seamount make up a majority of the series' plots. Specific plots include a hunter planning to kill a blue whale as a whale expert and his son arrive ("The Singing Whale"); Hal and Gail are trapped in the home of a squid while trying to install a seismograph unit ("The Deepest Dive"); Sealab is damaged by an anchor and flooded ("Green Fever"); the crew try to stop and delay an unauthorized oil drilling but the workers ignore the warnings to their detriment ("Where Dangers Are Many"); and a malfunctioning sub destroys the edge of Seamount and threatens Sealab ("Collision of the Aquarius"). But in the end, our beloved crew always find a way to save their base/home and the friends and surfaces that depend on them for their survival.

These plots and environmental Aesop per episode may make for a boring, uninteresting and forgettable cartoon. But despite them, the series is actually incredibly entertaining. The conflicts in each episode do leave you at the edge of your seat, the action surprisingly exciting, the thrills are low-key exhilarating, and the day-saving climax is amazing and a breath of fresh air. And there are some fun moments and funny jokes in between that give you a breather before and after the conflicts.

Characters:

And now, let’s meet your Sealab crew

(well, the ones that talk a lot, have names & appear throughout):

Dr. Paul Williams - Sealab’s lead scientist
Hal Bryant, Gail Adams & Ed Thomas - the three lead junior scientists
Lieutenant Sparks - Captain Murphy’s second-in-command
Ms. Thomas - teacher and Ed’s mother
Robert “Bobby” Murphy - Captain Murphy’s grandson
Salli - Bobby’s best friend
Jamie - short blond friend of Bobby & Salli, and
Captain Michael “Mike” Murphy - head of Sealab’s security

While this group of merry men aren’t as zany or goofy or over-the-top as the casts of other H-B cartoons, they are still well-written and really well-rounded. 

-- Captain Murphy and Dr. Williams are very cordial and respectful to one another and take the other’s high position in Sealab into strong consideration. And when a major threat looms, both men converse (mostly in the Captain’s security quarters) to figure out how to suppress and solve the conundrum).
-- Each of the three scientists have some nice chemistry
--- Hal is sweet and gentle with a heart for sea animals ("basking sharks are like the puppies of the ocean.")
--- Ed is cool and sharp-witted with a touch of snark (and zero jive, thank God)
--- and Gail is strong-willed, confident and rises up to the challenge as well as the guys
-- And their relationship with their boss Dr. Williams is built on trust, respect, admiration and care, with no examples of criticism, admonishment or shame.
-- While they aren’t shown together more than a few times, Ed and Mrs. Thomas does have a good relationship as mother and son (and no, not husband and wife as some assumed -- ew.)

Also there are other characters in minor speaking roles, but you won’t see them in more than one episode.

One of my favorite elements of Sealab 2020 is its grasp on realism. Okay, future year aside The main characters are very smart people who handle their positions within Sealab and the challenges that befall it and them very well. Unlike the characters of most other H-B cartoons, they don't do ridiculous slapstick or physical comedy to reach the solutions to their problems and the climax of a given episode. They use realistic ideas and plans to save the day.

Animation:
Taking away the obvious factoid that many cels are recycled many times here (as per H-B’s wont), the series’ ink and pain look amazing. While everyone looks like normal people who would work at/live in an underwater. No black dots for eyes, no skinny body frames, and everyone does their job with decorum, professionalism and respect (for themselves and each other). Plus, thumbs up to everyone for the characters not wearing the loud, colorful and extremely dated fashions and styles of the decade (... well, hairstyles aside).

The animators do a great job of Sealab not being too futuristic. Yes again, it does take place in another year in the future, but please bear with me. Most depictions of the 21st century (specifically the designs of city buildings, the fashions, the technology, the human behavior, etc.) in TV and movies before, during and even after 1972 make every year in it look and sound way too strongly from a sci-fi comic book or novel. And as a human realistically living in this century, story aside (except for comedic ones), all of these depictions make me laugh till my guts hurt. So it’s refreshing to see a version of 2020 that doesn’t look like almost all the rest and instead go for a lighter minimal tone that focuses on the walls, inhabitants, adventures, conflicts and (although the jury’s still out on those water-cars).

Conclusion:

In my opinion, Sealab 2020 is a very entertaining Saturday morning cartoon in its own way. As a more dramatic production, it’s not like… literally every other SMC on that year’s schedule (whether on NBC or the other Big 3 networks), but it works in its favor. Some may see the pro-environmental slant and Aesops as boring and preachy, but to me they do help getting a message across to treat the planet much better (as we need it to live and breathe, rather than it needing us to walk on). And the outdoor and action sequences are no slouch in keeping me interested and invested.

I’ll be honest. I’ve never heard of Sealab 2020 throughout my childhood. If there ever was a time I watched it back then, it’s safely vaulted in the back of my mind. Heck, even other H-B shows of the decade got more clearer recollections ; late night airings of Devlin, Speed Buggy, Super Friends and Banana Splits; and even ToonHeads, Speed Racer, Rocky & Bullwinkle, and freaking Wait Till Your Father Gets Home on Cartoon Network back in the late 90s and early 2000s (and that’s if I’m lucky to stay up some nights) were what I got to see to my quiet prepubescent delight. The reason I do know of it now was… when I looked it up and watched it this year. Sure I was lucky to stay up and watch a certain parody of it when it debuted in 2003, but even then I had no idea that it was spoofing this show; I honestly thought they were drawn that way!

But I’m happy about watching & appreciating it now as an adult over never knowing it existed.

And that's my review of Sealab 2020.

Thank God the staff didn't write in a viral outbreak because it would've been depressing prediction gone true. Plus, if this series was just as iconic as other Hanna-Barbera shows (and of course no pandemic), we would've had a Sealab of our very own this year.

Thank you all for checking in, and thank Christ that the namesake year it took place in is over. It was a dang awful, unbelievable and heartwrenching year, and no doubt we've all suffered (myself included). But 2021 is around the corner, and as long as we keep the faith, stay safe, be kind(er) to and look after one another, and take the vaccine, we'll all get through this. I think we all need a win, and if we contribute well to the betterment of society and not be crap to each other, 2021 may be a colossally amazing year. We shall see.

Thanks again. I'm Andrew saying be safe out there, and love yourself and each other.

And may the good toons be yours....

SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE 46 REVIEW: nine - Kriisten Wiig IV & Dua Lipa Deux (The Christmas Episode)

Merry Christmas week, everyone!

And yes, this year, we certainly need a little cheer, holly, jolly, noel, mistletoe, yada-yada-yada and an state-load of the egg nog Timmy Turner's Dad loves to get us through the fifth circle of hell shithole we still call 2020 (and when midnight hits on January 1, we no longer call it that). 

But until then, as many of the holiday TV specials and movies we love, the music we always listen to every year anyway but find the right time to now, the stuff we buy from stores before we wake up in buyer's remorse and (at least for me) enjoy the last episode of Saturday Night Live.

Speaking of which, I feel it's time that yours truly spin you a tale in which a long-time dream of mine finally came true. And yes, it invloves this very show.

It was March 6, 2018. Your ol' pal Andrew was in New York City for his 24th birthday. After living the sights, sounds and smells I've always heard about on TV and in film (just the good and funny parts), I got to go on the famous tour of NBC Studios. The stops on the tour were Nightly News, what was then that failed experiment to make that Fox News loon seem talented known as Megyn Kelly Today and Late Night with Seth Meyers. The last stop was none other Studio 8H... or at least, the doors of it, as they were preparing for a show at the time. But the fact that I was there was wonderful enough. Oh, I was also involved in a part of the tour where you can host your own talk show, with a band, studio staff, a guest and an audience. I was... okay. Overexcited but okay. I was aiming for early-Tonight Show Jimmy Fallon. But walking to those doors would only foreshadow what would later become, for me - Andrew, a dream come true.

It was Friday, May 10, 2018. Your ol' pal Andrew was chillin' like a villain at home, doing what all mild people on their time off at work do -- masturbating to anime characters in their underwear under the air of occasional loneliness and shame. I'm kidding. I do that every other day to regular cartoon characters in their underwear. Kidding again! (...or am I?) Actually, I was sitting on the living room couch surfing the web when I got an email from some department at NBCUNIVERSAL informing me that I had won a ticket to a taping of Saturday Night Live. I just about hit the ceiling! (Not literally because my place is a rental.) As revealed in the email, the taping is the dress rehearsal for tomorrow evening at Studio 8H in NBC Studios on 30 Rockefeller Center. I was so excited, I just accepted the ticket and didn't plan out everything. Since it was my first taping just 24 hours away, how could you? I just grabbed the best transportation money can buy on short notice -- Chinatown Bus. (And it you have a random trip you must take the next day, go to them. They gotcho back!)

The day finally came. I barely could sleep; the jubilation was on overload. When I boarded the bus in the best duds I owned (a loud blue sweater, a cheap gray blazer, church pants and shoes like they're from Ross, and a tacky blue shirt and tie [I worked at UPS at the time]), all I could think about was that I'm finally gonna be in the audience of one of my favorite TV shows. When I finally reached New York, my grin was about as wide as the Grinch's, but not as yellow or full of bugs. Stepping out of the bus, onto the subway and into 30 Rock, I could barely breathe because ny heart skipped a beat too much to count (not serious as a heart attack though). After walking actoss the areas I could walk to pass the time (the common shopping arear and the Shops at NBC Studios), the time finally came to come. After waiting in their guest waiting room and finally returning my ticket, I was in line for SNL's dress rehearsal.

After going into the elevator and walking down the hall, hearing the beautiful music of the SNL Band, I was finally living a dream I've had since I've watched my first episode - over 13 1/2 years earlier. I am here. I got to sit on one of the yellow baseball stadium seats overlooking the studio. It is... smaller than it was on TV (then again, so is every one of them). Other than that, I was witnessing glorious television production unfolding before my very eyes. The host of the episode was legendary award-winning actress Emma Thompson and musical guest were legendary (for Radio Disney) boy band Jonas Brothers. I still couldn't believe I was in the same room as Nanny McPhee and the guys who sang "Year 3000", "SOS" and "Burnin' Up". But it happened. Here's what I saw that didn't air on TV. Michael Che hyped us up, then Kenan serenaded us with "Gimme Some Lovin'" with Heidi Gardner, Melissa Villasenor and Ego Nwodim on backup vocal (they were smokin'), and then after a few minutes and the iconic countdown (FIVE SECONDS!!), the dress began to form. While most of the sketches you  in that episode where performed, there were a couple that didn't make it. There was one involving a woman making a speech at a classic toy celebration (I think the Toy Hall of Fame) honoring her creation - Ms. Potato Head. It wasn't great but I did give a few laughs, including her putting on the hat and glasses that make up the toy.

The other sketch was one of those sleepover sketches in which the girls play Ouija and conjure up a female demon from the netherworld, only for it to whine about not being invited to some in her shorter years. This very sketch would later be retooled into one of those that did make the cut on the next episode, the season finale hosted by Paul Rudd.

Also just before one sketch mocking the goof seen during that episode of Game of Thrones with the Starbucks cup, Kenan and Ego waved to everyone above where they were standing -- including me! Everyone waved back. I waved with both hands separately like a damn spaz.

Also, I'm proud to say, I lived my life being in the same room with two of the best ladies Lorne has ever hired for the show (and two of my favorites ever), Tina Fey and Amy Poehler. 

So in short, my dream came true, and I had the time of my life, I could never have a TV experience like this ever again (unless I go to an awards show) and I will never forget it. Even if I had no time to catch the Chinatown Bus back home, freaking out on the streets I didn't live in, losing a lot of money (includingon a gift for Mother's Day), evading, and ending up spending the night in one of the most terrifying places on Earth to not do it -- the Port Authority Bus Terminal! But... if I had the chance to do it again. I'd do it again. Just with more money.

And that's the story of yours truly going through hell to get to TV heaven. And speaking of TV heaven, former cast member Kristen Wiig hosts the 46th Christmas episode, and Dua Lipa is the 46th merry musical guest.

We begin with VP Mike Pence taking the COVID vaccine. Highlights include the mother/wife jokes (shoutout to Lauren Holt, continuing to holt... it down. haha), Pence trying to be macho cool instead of the creepy evil joke he really is and everything Kamala says (shoutout to Maya Rudolph for holding down the biggest easiest job she's ever had). Alex Moffitt is taking over from now on as Pres-elect Joe Biden and does a good job (not Jason Sudeikis good, but still good.) Mikey Day was there, Kenan was there, and Kate McKinnon was there as national grey pube hair Rudy Guiliani. 

Kristen Wiig returned to SNL for the fourth time (and second holiday episode; one more she gets in the Five-Timers Club and wins Holiday Host Bingo). In her monologue, she jokes about being Employee of the Month (makes sense, she was in a lot of sketches later on) she admonishes her assistant Glenn for getting things she said wrong and for not getting her a stool for her to sing her... interesting version of "My Favorite Things". The jokes and lyrics were hilarious and pinpoints Wiig's brilliant balance of confidence and pure absurdity. Maya returns to add on the cringe and made it a beautiful duet. Kate had no business being here, but it still was a nice touch.

The Sketch After unsurprisingly is the always delightful and reliable "Secret Word". This was a game show that's pretty much Password, but with a very full-of-herself actress Mindy (Kristen) ruining the game for and saying the word instead of her civilian partner (this time by Holt) and her opponent being their own type of washed out (this time an Austrian actress played by Kate). As always, this was hilarious and shows the phrase "if it ain't broke, don't fix it" is still alive and well.

Speaking of dead inside and unwell, the matriarch of this family (Kristen) is depressed. While everyone else got a multitude of presents, she got a robe. That's fucking it. I was howling throughout after the second time she mentioned the robe, but you just can't stop but feel sorry for her. And even more goddamn dog got more than her while she has to suffer from stove burn and getting yelled at by her son for accidentally stepping on his Big piano. Maybe I should get my mom two presents.

At a USO show in 1944, a famous singer and an Asian singer perform a... more progressive 2010s R&B/pop song. This has to be the Best Sketch of the Week. The 1940s USO setting (and widescreen) was a brilliant setup for the bait-and-switch that had me rolling in heat like a cat in a botanical garden. And Oh Hi, Dua Lipa. I had no idea you'd be here  (I lied, I knew you were in there when the beat dropped).

A sketch parodying A Teacher? Yes, ma'am. This was brilliant, with a black teacher actually saying no to the student and shaming him deep only a black woman would? Yessuh!

Keeping hold with the widescreen is a deleted/alternate/random/deservedly removed scene from Home Alone 2: Lost in New York. Uh... meh? Melissa Vilasenor made a passable Kevin McCallister. And the part with the pidgeon pickling the pizza and Kristen laughing with fake blood on her face while the Crazy Bird Lady shanks the Wet bandits to death with her umbrella was very funny though. 

Time for the final Update for 2020.

Jost and Che kick things off by helping us prepare to say good bye to Donald Trump's presidency in perfect and delectable fashion. Seemingly, the audience just wasn't hitting right for most of these jokes, which made me roll my eyes and laugh more.

In his first appearance in... some long time, Chris Redd appears as Motown icon Smokey Robinson after his strange Cameo video saying Chanukka wrong. Other than the fact that they barely look alike, his voice is perfectly on par. As for the drop-by, the jokes on Robinson's fascination about the Jewish culture and holiday along with his horrific mispronunciation of the elements of the holiday (swagalong/synagogue, templay/temple, latchkeys/latke and monster ball/matzah ball) was just terrible -- I'm sorry, terrific.

Kenan returned since... the cold open as Michael's neighbor Willie to give us all the extra optimism we need from this year. But since it's Willie, we may feel sorry enough to give some back. The COVID vaccine, waking up in an ice bath after defects, dealing with his dog being rifled and ending beat boxing at a nursing home are just the latest examples of man whom is way too excited to be loving life instead of praying for quick painless death. I wish I had his cheerfulness. I could need it just for every time I go to the can just to force no deuce.

No matter what the influencer platform, or weird name from the female name generator they give her "I'm rich, biatch!", Heidi Gardner just kills it. This time it's Landis Trotter, an influencer who gets connection from the oddest places like Merrill Lynch or Hitatchi Healthcare. Gardner slays as Landis with the voice, personality and nonchalance when sponsoring these products.

And finally, because it's Christmastime, Colin and Michael present each other jokes that they wouldn't say themselves. Of course, Che gives Jost the racial jokes and vice versa on the sec with whities jokes. This year was no exception and maybe even surprisingly darker. But hilarious all the same.

Merry Christmas, Colon and Michelle!

In case your forget about that Christmas Robe Pre-Tape, everyone (Kyle Mooney, Chloe Gardner, Kristen and the overused Male--this time Mikey Day) returned for this next skewed retelling of a Dr. Seuss classic. This time, it's The Grinch. It was a torrid love affair full of disgust and shame, that'll make you reach for a bucket and puke to the frame. The children should play in the cold and snow, and not bare witness to their parents and Pete Davidson being each other's furry fleshy ho. If there's a lesson to discover, this is not a sketch to watch again or even hover. (Plus originally I thought there were two Mikeys in this one. Seriously, he and Kyle look alike with them Seussian noses.

And finally, Sue the Surprise Stabber is also back to ruin the fun for another family reunion. Only this time, it just didn't have the magic like before. In fact, any one of Wiig's other famous characters would've been better slotted here. I guess "if it ain't broke don't fix it" doesn't work every time.

Lemme say real quick: Dua Lipa is fucking everything. She can sing, she's Cleopatra Hot, she can dance, and if she came to me to say on personal message that that favorite family member just died, I wouldn't feel all that bad. And both performances (of "Don't Start Now" and "Levitating") exemplified all of this. Standing in a bevy of bright, beautiful colored LED lights and similarly-structured dancers, Dua commanded the stage with everything we've known her for since "New Rules" - pop music that is both fun and mature. And I love the juxtaposition of the stories of both tracks. While Don't Start Now is about breaking off with a bad lover and forging him to forget her existence and their excuse of a relationship, Levatating is about the refreshing feeling of flight when beginning anew in the romance department. And her outfits are top-notch personifications of them. Especially the white dress and flowing jellyfish hat that makes her look like the prettiest version of those disgusting monsters from that episode of Space:1999 that look like dead rotting trees wrapped in lights with beachball eyes and spread apart green moss (he says holding back vomit). If there is an album to listen to enjoying the recreations of sounds your parents loved back in the day... yes, it's 24k Magic, but the aply-titled Future Nostalgia is also for you. Smashing job, Dua Lipa. Holly good show!

And that's it. Kristen was great. The cast was great. Wonderful spread across everyone. even though work still can be done to have the lower deck play regular people. I'm tired of him... and guest Maya Rudolph might as well come back full-time since Kamala isn't going anywhere. 

Merry Christmas, everyone.

I'm Andrew Pollard saying... "I'll be w as watching A Christmas Story and wishing for 2021 to be the best year I ever lived through and all years since play catch up, and if I hear "You'll shoot your eye out, kid.", I'll just buy a bunker." Goodnight...

SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE 46 REVIEW: seven - Jason Bateman & Morgan Wallen Take 2 (lucky motherfμcker)

It's finally here. The worst year in recent recorded history ever is almost over. We're close to a vaccine of the most powerful virus since the Kansas Flu (since some people indignantly want to call COVID the Chinese Flu, the Kung Flu, Wuhan Flu or the Wu-Wu [fuck you in the mouth] because that's where it came from [no shit], I'll call the Spanish Flu the Kansas Flu since that is where it possibly originated in the USA), it's the Holiday Season and it's time to start being genuinely happy again. Because being sad and bored during most of the year was killing me. (Oh sorry. Didn't mean that way.)

Anyway, SNL is back for December and the final three episodes of the year. So Xmas decor shrewn across 8H, sketches rubber stamped across the holiday (and Hanukkah if you're lucky; Kwanzaa be damned), and for this year skits about Trump sweating off his airy second skin as he screams and cries until his epic "fuck off" from the White House (praise me if I'm right; don't quote me if I'm wrong).

Our first of our Holiday Hosts Three, sketch comedy fans, is the male half of the Twins Bateman. Jason Bateman may not be as well-known an actor or heartthrob as Kirk Cameron, Scott Baio, Todd Bridges or Michael J. Fox , he is still a great enough performer on the static box. Thr Hogan Family, Arrested Development and now Ozarks, his Emmy-winning contributions to television have nothing short of laughs, tears, memories and sparks. Although if you told me this isn't his first time hosting (it's his second!), I'd be shocked. Because it doesn't seem like he hosted before on this late night block. But as a fan of Hogan Family and Arrested Development (and have at least heard of Ozarks), I'm totally excited for his appearance.

On the other hand... I bring you to the most lucky and forgiven motherfucker on the planet. You remember Morgan Wallen, the guy who got the chance of a lifetime to perform on SNL back on October 10th (the episode hosted by Bill Burr), but fucked it all up when he got caught on camera partying at an Alabama bar with everyone not masking or social distancing and had to apologize for it? Well, Lorne decided to accept his plea for forgiveness (and desperate attempt back to crossover relevancy) to let him perform less than two months later. And he seems to hold up on his comeback by wearing a mask during promos. I never had interest in his music and was going to start before his original appearance, but dropped after his foolish faux pas. But if Lorne can turn the other cheek on this walking major COVID safety violation, then so should I.

If you guessed the Cold Open was on that viral Senate commitee hearing with that Looney Tune bitch with a mouth that runs on idiocy, congrats. You don't get smacked on the back of the head.

First off, CECILY STRONG IS FINALLG BACK LIVE!!! Thank God she is safe and healthy. She did fantastic as... Whatever her name is. The sketch perfect captured how bonkers the hearing was. Maybe a little too bonkers. Kate McKinnon was fab as Giuliani (fart and all) Nothing more notable to say here cause that's all we expected.

Bateman finally made his return to the main stage after FIFTEEN YEARS (he last hosted in 2005). After mentioning what I said earlier, he recounts a sketch in which he plays monkey who chucks shit at famous people (after joking he had the vaccine, I wish a monkey did it to him). I bet it sucked, but the more important chunk was during the goodnights when the same monkey almost either sucked face or ate off his face. It was a crazy sight, but the story droned on a bit until JB mentioned the sweet denouement that the monkey wanted to make amends and did. Then he got sent to the glue factory. That punchline paid off.

The Sketch After was a meh but the little things made it worked. At (yet another) sleepover, the host's father talked with them about one of them having their first little red dot on the couch (but it wasn't big). Of course the chick portraying the cunt clump culprit is Kate, but she sells it well. Otherwise, it was forgettable.

On the contrary, this Pre-Tape is brillant. 

So, Santa is getting letters from the kids and is about ti pick the good ones for presents. Well, one of them isn't Stu, who's desperate for a PS5, as the clip switches to a parody of... that Eminem song "Stan"? Well, what a twist! Seriously, this was so incredible. The PS5 element was brilliant, the set was on point, the lighting and colors were well-contrasted, the rap by Pete Davidson was A1, the Dido-esque vocals by Kate were smooth, Bowen Yang was slammin' as Sir Elton John (because of capturing the charisma and bravado; not the gay thing) and the Santa bits were sweet and savory. A definite must rewatch.

At an outdoor event, there is some singing by two hosts with assistance from the piano player... Blah blah blah. I didn't pay attention because it got tepid immediately and i wad behind.

Fortunately, I was brought back by the next pre-tape. Three women try to tell their mothers thst because of COVID, they can't come to their homes. So the moms reacted the way they usually do -- overreacting, guilt-tripping, fake tears and feigning anything that'll get them out the door without reasonable explanation. This was hilarious; the reactions are what most parents would go for and don't hold back. And the kids' begging to stop and understand are equally funny.

Not funny is this next sketch, which seemed to be the show dissing Wallen for attending a party instead of waiting to party at the show with his performances. But they didn't seem to stick the knife of mockery in his back like they were supposed to and showed this stupid twist in which his future self, his Asian future self and Pere Davidson warn him of the consequences of his drunken debauchery. There's a problem with that. He's already there, there's much less people at the place, the woman is holding a phone she more likely swiped off the lock and chain from the Metro store down the street and like Morgan here would listen to his future self when he's smashed beyond oblivion. This is the show less shaming him for wasting their time and money on his biggest platform play and more begging him to stat and suck his dick as a thank you. I swear they banned Rage Against the Machine for speaking their mind against a billionaire running for president, but if your musical guest is doing a stupid thing of getting bombed at a college party, let's say "hey we're disappointed qyou in not doing the right thing and putting yourself and us at risk, but we're not ballsy enough in banning you because we have none, so come back in two weeks and we'll prepare our jaws, eh?". And prepare they did.

Because Morgan Wallen performed for the first time. And... He was alright. His first track was a smooth track about... Reminiscing about some girl or town or party. I wasn't paying attention on account of the extra lighting across the set. It's as if they're twisting the knife in us (or at least those who hated his given a second chance in the first place).

Time for an Update

Jost and Che this week riffed on Guiliani being a major nutcase with leaking hair dye and a blasting ass throughout the past month. Absolutely hilarious.

Next up, a family visit a Mall Santa and Ms. Claus. But because of the pandemic and despite the mall still opening, the two reps of Christmas must do their duties so they accommodate. With terrible results.

This sketch is the second funniest based on the physical comedy alone. The commitment JB and Cecily go through is commendable. Also the talent of the little girl saying her one line is very good and cute. Plus, the robot elf with the tablet face is pretty funny too.

I have nothing negative to say anymore about Morgan Wallen anymore. I have now realized watching his second performance - looking like Joe Dirt Jr. and mugging the camera the level of Milton Berle - that this anger got unhealthy and staying pissed at him much longer would ulcer me. So I'll stop and say he did quite well. His music isn't bad and I'm happy he reaching the heights he's reaching. I'll just shit on him the next time I'll joke about him later in the future. Now to leave my real anger and disgust at those who deseve it -- COVIDiots, people who dismiss Elliot Page's transition as relevancy and attention-seeking and blasphemous and the people in the right wing and Democratic establishment [everyone fuck off].

Finally, a pre-tape about that one guy in a circle of dudes who sucks at joking at the drop of a hat and keepa trying despite falling flat every time. Of course, Kyle Mooney plays this to perfection and the loopy, trippy, colorful wonderland in his inner musical monologue is amazing. Too bad the audience didn't see it that way.

Speaking on the audience, it seemed they were as dead as the assholes they were forced to treat from COVID--uhh, the flu. The laughs were barely noticeable, the times there wasn't any dragged the live sketches down (and to be honest, half of them weren't great anyway and were there because the sets looked like they shouldn't have been used just for dress. My guess is they just got back from hiatus and needed that jolt back after Thanksgiving break and it shows -- and much better during the pre-tapes at that. We shall see next week, but... Meh.

Jason Bateman made a great host. Despite the fifteen year absence, he looked and acted like his last time was last season. He was totally game for the show and was a highlight of them. Whether as the judgemental dad shaming his daughter for makimg her mom sad to Dad who just can't see the tomboy fucked up his couch because of her pussy over-power, to seemingly unmotivated cabaret piano player to the Mall Santa not giving a shit about his job as more of an acting afterthought, the former David Hogan showed that he is not a forgotten 80s gem. He's a forgotten 80s gem-turned-unfogettable Emmy-winning dynamo. And he didn't need SNL for a brief career revival; SNL needed him, and he said "sure, lemme check my schedule. I'm sure there's a date open. Ahh, how about whenever I feel like it". One part I made up; guess which is it.

The cast is closer because Cecily Strong is back on! I really missed her. Her contributions were sorely needed and her disappearance felt like a slow withdrawal. Hopefully the weekly hits keep on comimg. Speaking of withdrawal, where's Dismukes? Do I have to mourn yet another featured freshman?? Amongst the sausage fest this week from the regular men, I'm surprised I still remember his face and that we share a name and that in some way we're linked in thst we're just watching from afar. Meanwhile, Lauren Holt and PUNKIE POWER! have definitely earned their places with the FaceTime sketch. 

In Conclusion, episode seven was okay. Just not up to par like the marathon six before it. I guess again the break is to blame. The sketches were presented well - especially the ones focusing on the holiday season under the COVID pandemic. Lots of areas to cover and they were well-covered. The jokes were middling but with strong potential - and I can blame that on the audience for not being there (and maybe the writers for trying harder). This outing is a bit forgettable but fortunately, we're two more weeks before the actual Christmas episode so here's hoping for a much better installment.

Until then, we got the pre-Christmas epiosde next week hosted by the most sexy young actor today with the cutest name to match - Timothée Chalamet, with musical guest - and the most badass rocker and backup touring band(?) to come from medium-town Jersey, Bruce Springsteen and the E-Street Band.

See you again next week. Until then, I'm Andrew Pollard, and my concern for a pasty-faced white male cast member of SNL named Andrew is its own concern. Goodnight... 

Remembering Alex Trebek: Jeopardy! Host Deceased at 80

Greetings, everyone. 

I'm here to talk a little bit about some heartbreaking news from the entertainment industry.

Jeopardy! host Alex Trebek passed away earlier today at the age of 80. He has been battling pancreatic cancer for the past year plus as he revealed last March. 

Trebek hosted the revival of Jeopardy! since its debut in 1984, and won seven Daytime Emmy Awards in the years since for his work in the legendary professor's podium. Trebek has hosted other game shows in his decades long career including Wizard of Odds, Double Dare, High Rollers and Classic Concentration.

This man was one of my favorite television personalities and an inspiration to me. When I was a kid, while most other kids watched cartoons and kid comedies and the like, when I finished my homework,  I'd watch the news and when 7pm hit, I'd turn to my local ABC station to watch Jeopardy! This show meant so much to me in many ways since I was a young man. I loved Johnny Gilbert's boisterous and awesome opening narration, rooting for three different contestants to show off their smarts to their best and  win cash, and learn so many new things I never would before. But the one thing I look forward to the most is Trebek's hosting. His calm and caring yet intense and dour demeanor, sweet and sour personality and entertaining demeanor and rapport with the contestants wowed me over when I first watched and I just adored every time ever since. His talents are everlasting and his work on the show (and the rest of his incredible) is forever iconic.

Trebek hosted tapings of this current - and now his final - season of Jeopardy! until October 29, with fresh new editions airing until January 8. I will do my absolute best to watch them all live (or at least later in the evening on DVR), and I'm sure millions upon millioms of other viewers and fans will too. And his final episode will no doubt break ratings records, with me crying like a baby when it ends.

Jeopardy! will never be the same without him, and I - like many millions of fans throughout the world - will miss him very much.

My love, prayers, condolences are to his family, friends, Johnny Gilbert, colleagues and the Jeopardy! staff.

Rest in Peace and Thank You for everything, Mr. Trebek.

Here Lies Mulaney. A Show About Nothing... Funny (2014-2015) | StAbUrDaY/fRiGhT\diVe=REVIEW: fIVe - John Mulaney & The Strokes (The Halloween Episode... on Halloween!)

 

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That's Drak Pack!

Welcome. Come on in.

I'm Andrew Pollard, and I'm your guide for a deep descent into the dark, dreary, deviant, depressing and decidedly decent den of sketch comedy in the year 2020.

2020 has been a year, no? A year of depression, illness, paranoia, mania, separation, isolation, loss of feeling, loss of employment, loss of life, loss of enjoyment, loss of toilet paper... So much that came this year from one thing or another hit us like a ton of bricks , and yet the one thing that made us shed the most tears was the Peanuts holiday specials are no longer airing on network television. (Seriously? The tradition's not dead! Just buy them on DVD or digital, or swallow your pride and sign up for Apple, it's free for three days. It's not deep.)

But in these times, we all need a laugh before we go a little crazy, one of the most prominent spaces to get one is Saturday Night Live. So far, the 46th season is... mixed. Some episodes had me nearly die laughing, others nearly make me want to die. But hey, any season after five makes you feel that way, right? But since we're in a certain pandemic, even the worst sketches seem like comedy gold. right? Well, that's what we'll hopefully get this empty Halloween night (and it's rare for SNL to have a Halloween episode on Halloween, so that's a treat.) And with our host this week, comedian, former show writer and victim of a shitty Seinfeld-esque sitcom namesake (that reached a grizzly, gruesome, critically-maligned and well-deserved demise), John Mulaney, there's a promise of no tricks. Each and every time he's hosted, his light, smarmy attitude and evenly quirky-yet-surprisingly brashly humor (whether in the monologue or in sketches) has me on the floor (Although the big joke to me coming in is that despite being a well-known and liked comic, the show still manages to find white guys as musical guest that are even more well-known and liked (like the second you hear their name).) Hell, I listen to "Look What God Made Her" by Thomas Rhett more times than any of Mulaney's stand-up routines. That's my standing with him.

Also a treat, returning musical guest The Strokes. While I've never played their music, their appearance in my mental consciousness is strong, thanks to this show and their sets have been straight rock bangers I've enjoyed from the word "go". I'm sure their appearance here will not disappoint. 

We begin with a Cold Open featuring Joe Biden (played by Jim Carrey, who has to be a cast member at this point) reminding America a horrid nightmare that it got itself into - electing Donald Trump.

It's hilarious, well-written and mixed political satire and corny spooky stories together. I'm now in the pro-Carrey-as-Biden camp again, Kate McKinnon returns flawlessly as Hillary along with nice touches of Mikey Day as Nate Silver, Kenan as Ice Cube (?), Chris Redd as Lil Wayne (if he got his face stung by a bee), Maya Rudolph as Kamala and Beck Bennett as blue-hand Mitch McConnell  (whom at this point I'd be happy to dance on his grave when it happens). Let's hope all goes well on November 3

... and beyond. 

Mulaney continues to kill with his stand up monologue. Hits include comedians being "last responders", the fun of watching NY Governor Andrew Cuomo's daily Coronavirus press conferences, the arguments of family taking the kids to grandma's, "Play Covid!", the game of "America's Favorite Grandpa" (and praising Jane Lynch), "new nazis" and especially the one with the one girl at the bitch of a classmate's sleepover. His story about his 94year-old grandmother is something special too. The audience is there, but they still don't accentuate how hilarious Mulaney's set is. 

Ahh, Cinema Classics. One sketch that comes up behind you and hits you over with brilliant one liners and random stuff that happens from classic films. This time it's The Birds - that classic Hitchcock film where he tortured Tippi Hendren the whole time.  The campiness and absurdity of the iconic payphone scene is delicious, Kate McK's take on Hendren is wonderful, the sardonic performance by Mulaney is fantastic and the use of puppets birds is life-changing.

Reese De'What can reminisce on my life if he'd like.

The Pre-Tape After, Strollin', add levity to the struggle black community goes through to vote in the election. The funk and soul riff is badd, the stars of the sketch (Kenan, Reddman, Lego My Ego and PUNKIE POWER!) are dyn-o-mite! and the production is perfectly shot. I love this one and this was needed at this time to give us hope to find whatever polling places are in white neighborhoods, go to them in carpools and wait as long as possible (with snacks from the nearby Dollar Tree).

Next week, the post-election sixth episode... hosted by... DAVE CHAPPELLE! (Yes again.)

The next time I read or watch the stories of Ichabod Crane and the Headless Horseman, I'll always remember when Crane, Pete Davidson and Mikey "Mr. Sketch Security" Day asking H2 if he blows himself, roll into women's bathrooms, and other strange things to keep them from going to hell. I have a feeling Mulaney co-wrote this sketch, because that's his strongsuit. But the jokes are pretty inventive and hilarious.

Speaking of Job Security... Kate McK stars in this sketch celebrating New York City as it gets back to being itself  after the summer pandemic-- a vast wasteland of assholes, commercialism and lots of trains. But the light, airy, sweet lens and praise of frontline workers and helping hand neighbors makes it all good.

THE OCCASIONALLY PLACED LED BACKGOUND SCREEN TELLS YOU TO

OBEY.

Update Time!

First off, congratulations to the newly-married Mr. Scarlett Johansson, Colin Jost!

This week, he and Michael Che discuss President Trump keeping his fans freezing in the cold during one of his rallies and shaming the people who save his obese orange ass from dying, rich black rappers supporting 45 just to keep from paying more taxes, Jared Kushner being a little racist shit again, and the hope of Trump not getting reelected. I swear Update continues to slay this season. The topical jokes are political satire are about top notch, and our two anchormenpersons continue to destroy your innards with laughs. 

Kyle Mooney returns as Baby Yoda (aka The Child) , the true star of The Mandalorian, and is better than ever as the rich male Jerry Springer guest we actually like and laugh with. 

Oh look, Diner Lobster Part 3 or Airport Bodega Part 2: Either Way It's Strange.

This time, Unnamed Chris Redd and Pete Davidson characters go to a Times Square souvenir shop and Pete Dave guy continues to go for disgusting item he shouldn't reach for, leading to the  Mulaney main worker character to admonish him and sing with random Times Square costume workers (led by Kenan) waxing lyrical about the weird, questionable yet resilient lives and jobs they live and work.

This has to be the most expendable sketch ever by now. Each time Mulaney appears they do a new version, and yet it turned out to be the best and brightest of them all. This one is no exception. But you wouldn't catch me wearing those clap-carrying driveway-making drawers. I get them but still. I can do damage to my own when they're clean.

Where were you during Moscow 1972?

Our musical guest The Strokes are a breath of fresh air. Their sweet, fun brand of indie/garage/punk rock is also needed at this time, and their SNL appearance tonight hits the mark. I'm starting to regret not listening to them when I had the chance to... but after tonight, I'll give them a listen or several.

For every "Musical Store" sketch, there's the "Mr. Bennet Gets Memed" sketch. This one I didn't feel as much as last time because it was written sloppily and quickly to cash in on number one and the directing was off. But the memes themselves were still funny. Although Mellisa and Heidi deserve better slots though. Also, if Benner wants a young adult 18-24, he could give Aalyah Mysterio a shout. She likes being confused. (What if y'all are okay with the WWE storyline with Rey Jr's daughter dating a 32-year-old grown man hand waving it as "two consenting adults", then you're okay with me making this joke.)

Overall, this was a very good episode. It's on par with Episode 2 with Bill Burr and Jack White, although this one slips a bit in quality and pacing towards the end and, mostly thanks to the long-as-hell "Souvenir Underwear" sketch. I see Lorne is back on his tick of featuring the top four cast members (Kenan, Kate McKinnon, Mikey FunDay and BeckBenn replacing the absent Cecily Strong, whom I think doesn't want to come back at this point - hope she's okay). Other Andew wasn't there either but Punkie and probably Lauren Holt too somewhere. Hopefully, the cast is spread evenly next week.

And speaking of next week, join me when Dave Chappelle hosts the second consecutive post-presidential election episode (musical guest TBA). Hopefully he won't have as much as a hard time as last time. Although he was brilliantly hilarious last time, so either way, it's gonna get the highest ratings so far. I bet you that.

Thank you everyone for joining me, a 26-year-old weirdo dressing as Fred Jones from Scooby-Doo to review the Halloween episode on Halloween Halloween night. Maybe next time it happens, I'll be married with kids in a deluxe apartment in the sky rich from my job as an ad executive... and still reviewing while dressed as D.D. from Clue Club. I'm Andrew Pollard saying "I love New York and I'm also that lady". Goodnight... and good riddance. 

Setting the Fire after Making the Rain | SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE 46 REVIEW: four - Adele & H.E.R.

Hello.

It's me.

How are you?

Can you hear me?

Oh. well.

At least I can say... I'm weird.

Welcome back to Saturday Night Live Review.

Tonight two incredibly talented women strut into Studio 8H and give us, the American audience needs right now: beautiful R&B music and what could be surprising talent in comedy.

Let's begin with our musical guest.

H.E.R. is and has been a wunderkind of a comperser and lyricist since her debut. In fact she had talent years ago as a little girl during anappearance in a singing kid segment on Today. Since then, her singles have been straight fire, her performances have inspired, her look (mostly sunglasses and fatigues at her beginnings) is mysterious yet highly lovely, and her many talents as an instrumentalist is second-to-none. She was born to appear on SNL. It's just a shock that she has hasn't appeared sooner. I just can't wait to see what she'll do.

Also under anticipation is Adele. This is bloody brilliant British blowout took the industry by storm when she released Chasing Pavements in 2008. I can't tell you how many times I've sung along to it, but I think I have less outward body parts than times I've bumped to it. But three platinum albums, singles that changed pop culture forever and a slimming look that dropped jaws. When I saw a pic of her after the hosting gig was revealed, mine was halfway to Brian Griffin's. Jiminy Cricket, the last person that shook me to the core with their change in appearance was Josh Peck. There was one time I've seen her be funny and that was a skit during one special she did when she went to a look-alike contest, acting homely and mousey and later surprised her "competition". That was hilarious. I hope the writers can tap into her homegrown humor and surprise us with a new comedy star instead of jokes of her Britishness. As if they don't do enough of that.

And so we begin with the last CO on the second and (thank all the deities) last Presidential debate. Instead of Kamala, Maya Rudolph appears as moderator Kristen Welker - who deserves a medal for dealing with 45.

This was a mostly boring and iffy. Alec Baldwin And Jim Carrey give their best as Trump and Biden, but the excirmenr and novelty has worn out more and more. I blame low number studio audience. And the writers for not even trying.

Loved the Eastwooding bit and Trumps joke on how 2020 has changed the scope of time in our minds. Plus, the racial jokes toward Welker and blacks were barely punchy but still chuckleworthy. When Carrey!Biden said Melatonin instead of Melanin, I knew I felt tired without taking that suppliment. The old jokes from Carrey!Biden can only go nowhere.

Finally making her way to the other side of the set, Adele's monologue was... Not much. Just jokes about her weight loss and the money ahe lost from her lowest selling single to a swear jar commendeered by Kenan. They were funny, I expected a bit more. But I guess the writers knew Adele is a first timer and needed to find her sea legs, so I understand they needed to tread lightly at the start.

So with the Sketch After, we get the big jump. In 2019, an excited and unassuming group of people visit a strange fortune teller (Kate McK of course) telling extremely off-the-wall and humiliating futures in 2020. This was a soft one, but its still pretty funny. Kate commanded the sketch but the other cast and Adele still had good reactions. Also, this has too be the straightest gay character Bowen Yang has played.

Chad is back once again, and proves to be one of the most expendable characters this show has ever seen. Not since  Samurai has this dude been in different situations and still ends the same way with laughs aplenty. Here he's at a haunted house with a ghostly owner telling her story and asking him to tell it. Only Chad doesn't so easily. I was truly mesmarised by Adele as the homeowner. Her voice is enchanting and her makeup screams Hollywood glamour.  This has to be one of the best Chad editions ever, and I can't believe theres a few.

If theres a good reason to still have Adele sing, this sketch is it. In yet another skit mocking The Bachelor, Adele appears on a reality dating show with other girls. They get annoyed when she gets the guy's attention and when she doesn't get it, she sings her songs. The joke is when the guy turns to other girls, Adele sings a song that fits in with the situation, and that is brilliant. Even when she isn't singing, she does very well done. And shout out to Heidi and Chloe and Aidy for their reactions.

Next up a pretape on what the aftermath of the election would be. As it turns out, Trump leaving and his behavior would still elicit the samw conversations. The accuracy is also on point, as yes this is what we talk about most of the time. ID rather go back to hating Baby Shark.

Time for an Update.

Pretty much all the jokes made me laugh out loud this week. Im so backed up, and guffaw so loud, thsts all I have time for.

Melissa Villasenor gave the best performance this week just from her appearance with her impressions of The Little Rascals, Stevie Nicks and Sia.

The Village People appear to shit on Trump, but then say some possible incriminating threats. This was just as great, thanks to Kenan's high-energy vocals, the other male members dancing, the studio audience clapping along and Jost's interrupting to say they're saying felonious threats.

Another home-run this season so far. Im starting to think most of the creative juices this season went to Update.

There is this sketch about these kids that visited their grandmother. It was funny but mostly weak.

Next is a travel commercial for Africa, where white women after their divorces go there to see the beaches, the oceans, the wildlife, the black man dick, the sunrise... wait what?

While the innuendo and subtlety was funny enough, Adele's corpsing upgraded it to hilarious. Her cracking up and continuing to the end were just perfect enough to make this the second best after the Bachelor rip off sketch.

Our musical guest H.E.R., is as Adele says, devine. Both her performances were if soul and rock had a baby, and a vibe that can't be explained for days but when you do, you get out something like "Yass, Queen!". While most performances so far have been incredible, H.E.R.'s is something I'd play for days soon after. And not just because her sound is my speed (although it's mostly the reason).

Lastly, a spoof on 80s ads you'd find on MTV and 80s pop-rock music all in one. Ass Angel Designer Jeans. They make your derriere smell very fair... And is a kidney killer. It was real good and well done for what it is. Too bad the audience didn't think so.

Such a smashing episode. While there wasn't many uproarious or servile humor to be found, the jokes were mostly funny and charming. Adele really has a gift for comedy and was a fantastic host. Her otber talent still found a way into the show and was still amazing. (Lucky frickin audience!) I have no doubt Lorne and the producers will try at the after party to convince her to return for a double bill next season when her next album drops (Im guessing 29 or 30). As for H.E.R., wow. I love when she performs live, and this set was no exception. Her soft smooth grooves were slick and sensational. Her current and later albums should be red hot hits (if they haven't been already).

Next week, epsiode will be the first episode to air exactly on Halloween! Join host (former writer and comedian) John Mulaney and musical guest The Strokes as the cast tries their hardest for the sketches to be both funny and scary. Sure can't top the 1981 Halloween epsiode (wow was that traumatic). We shall see.

Until then, goodnight... And keep on chasing pavements, turning tables, setting fire to the rain, rolling in the deep and finding someone like you. Never focus on me.

My Thoughts on "Tyler Perry's Assisted Living"

You know when that feeling when you're older and your best days are just about behind you, and your family plans on sending you to a home? No. Oh right, you're not there yet. Well, if you watch The Golden Girls, and listen to Sophia share horror stories about an attrocious retirement facility she previously lived in, Shady Pines? Well, this series about IS TWENTY TIMES WORSE.

The show I'm talking about is Assisted Living, the new sitcom from Tyler Perry, a... Well, you can call him black triple-threat and visionary, while I'll call him wheel-spinning, uncreative, overpaid, underwrought chitlin-circuit-reviving hack.

In Assisted Living, a man named Jeremy and his family (wife Leah, son Phillip, and daughter Sandra) travel from Chicago to suburban Georgia to meet up with his grandfather Vinny at a rundown shithole of an assisted living facility. There, he asks to pick up his inheritance from his late grandmother, only to find out that his hook-handed hellraiser of a elder relative stole the inheritance to purchase the facility (where the other patients have either died off or he may have killed them one by one; I can't tell because the dialogue made me feel like I would die off myself) and use it as his new home ... or tourist trap (He reminds me of Grunkle Stanley Pines from Gravity Falls, but not as funny, lovable, compelling, interesting or even redeemable [read: not at all]), leaving our main character furious and his family shocked. At the end of the second episode, after Jeremy walks throughout the place to find dear old grandpa (one joke called it an abyss; and I'll link to that negatively in a minute) and I say through the kids being talkative, disrespectful brats and the mom making the joke of threatening her kin with child abuse even less funny than it already is (not at all), our "hero" finally tries to reason with Captain Hook-if he finally stopped chasing after Peter Pan and lived his days being unfunny-and-unevil about why he took the inheritance money to buy what he calls home (and I call Satan's waiting room). He just couldn't be reasoned with so we end with a fight to the death-- I mean, for the inheritance. Grandpa hits grandson? No sell. Grandson hits grandpa? Pow! right in the kisser. Grandson runs like Greg Wulliger (aka like a bitch) and end scene.

All of this may sound interesting considering the guy that gave you the Madea films. But no... it's not. Assisted Living is like a retirement home: horrible, run down, negligible, and has this pray-for-death-as-its-better-than-this-treatment.

The writing is God-awful! Every joke Perry gives us is weak, cringe, exaggerated (thanks to the loud, overused laugh track), and featured modern-age stereotypes and behavior that send us back to the days of Amos n Andy (and I don't mean the TV show with actual black actors, I mean the radio show with its creators trying and failing to sound like black actors - they're white! Ahh, radio. Such a blessing to get away with racist minstrel shit on a national scale). Add to that, the entire dialogue takes forever to get to the point of why, when, where or how a certain plotline has taken place. Not a minute goes by without half a page worth of one or two characters saying a joke or speaking back and forth about something - a person, place, thing or memory. And either the jokes do not land (leading to a garbage punchline) or story or item that is even less interesting or compelling than what we started with. Nothing about the writing was good or even attentive (and Perry isn't exactly Jordan Peele or Ava Duvernay or Bryan Fuller or Christopher Nolan, but at least he gets the work done half of the time). And I feel like I've lost an hour of my life I damn well know I regretfully won't get back because of it. Maybe I should live there as it's usually a place I know can't take me back to the best days of it. Hopefully, I won't bump into any of these people. And speaking of...

The characters are unlikable. Each and every one of the family featured here have nothing to like, fascinate, be amused by or enjoy.

- Jeremy is dull, uninteresting and bland. Every line his actor speaks has no emotion or humor. But I can tolerate him over the rest.

- His wife Leah is sometimes a sensible, caring mom and sometimes an approximation of the stock black TV mom in predominantly black sitcoms. No not like Clair Huxtable or Harriette Winslow, but those moms who yells loud at their children when they act up and sometimes insults them and threatens child abuse on them for even the most minor of offenses, like Nikki Parker or Rochelle Rock. You know for laughs. (But at least, those two are written much better and funnier.) Apparently Perry always sees this as funny like Vince McMahon always finds toilet hunor, mental dysfunction and racist caricatures funny.

Their kids Sandra and Phillip are caricatures of TV kids and real life black kids today. Phone strapped to the hip, smart-ass mouths to their families, more knowledge and interest in ghetto hoodrat culture like Worldstar, This is 50, Shade Room, black Instagram and black Twitter (or if the teens are white - Starbucks, record stores, dry bars, Instagram and Twitter) (I may be exaggerating a bit).  This is what Perry thinks kids are like today. He's not 100% wrong but still.

- And finally tthere's Vinny. He's exactly what an old person thinks they are: cool, in-touch, funny and beloved -- but clinging onto what they thought was cool, in touch and funny years ago. Hell, I'll even say he's what white people thought black people were when Birth of a Nation came out (except the raping, pillaging and buckwilding of course). He's loud, assertive, ignorant, bitter, foolish, prideful and uncaring -- all those things old people who weren't loved and cared for as a child turned out as in their wanting years. These would be when I would say that even good characters can have these traits when written right. But he's not a good character and he's not written right, and those bad traits are just the start. Every time he speaks, it feels like twice the time it takes to go to the bathroom and back, his antics are stupid and selfish (buying the house with Jeremy's inheritance is the start of his warfare) and his hook for a right hand feels like a prop for shitty jokes than a heartbreaking aftermath of the loss of an important appendage. If he was my grandfather, the moment I hear that he'd stolen my inheritance from me to buy a shitty, dilapidated Indian burial ground of a house, I'd use his cupholder of a hook and kill him with it, then bury him in the graveyard across the street later that night while no one noticed (yes, it's mentioned that there is a graveyard built opposite the house. Not important.)

The show also has horrid sound mixing - the cast has an echo when they talk and the laugh track is somehow louder, maybe to mask the trite jokes and prodding dialogue; the lighting is too bright and flushed; the sets are too on the nose to be good; and the writing leaves a bad taste in my mouth (sadly not the cause of my acid reflux). Half the script features actual cursing - but BET censured them all, making the show much more empty and much more unintentionally humorous. You can hear half-second silence in many places for the whole run. If the writers or the network can't make up their minds on if we have to hear the word "shit" or "bitch" in the show, then what's the point?

Duing the time it took for the next scene to end, the scene after the credits revealed that the family will live in the place and possibly open it as new retirement home. I would never send even a family member I hate there. I'd just sell it for whatever it can be sold for (to renovate then flip or destroy) and buy an apartment then bathe myself with the rest. Much better than to live with my ugly-hearted thieving grandpa, my wife whom I probably married for her body, and two smart-mouth ingrates of kids who look and sound like carbon copies of Andre Jr. and Zoey Johnson (but not as funny, likable or compelling [sorry, not at all]) or two other characters from another mostly horribly unfunny show. Leroy Brown and Cora Simmons from Meet the Browns are also featured in Assisted Living, but so far do not appear despite BET hyping the hell out of their appearances in ads for the show. And if you watch House of Payne (which returned after 8 years earlier in the evening and is at least better because it's well known despite the same horrible pacing and NASCAR-circling writing), one character is mentioned a lot but doesn't appear throughout the first two episodes, along with two others. The same thing is present with Brown and Cora (get it? Characters not being present is present in these shows? Ha, irony). It felt like a copout and a letdown. It's like the producers did this intentionally to draw us into the show and this damn family to wait for them then keep us hooked just enough to wait for the next episodes for it to finally happen. If so, hopefully it's not the last episodes. But you won't catch me watching. Maybe the one with Brown and Cora actually appear then afterward wish that Meet the Browns returned instead. Sure, that sucks too (and even more than I was younger and stupider too), but at least I know that show much more.

Assisted Living is a horrible sitcom. Then again, it's Tyler Perry; what did you expect? If you're a Diehard Perry fan, this may be for you. Everyone else, AVOID THIS LIKE THE RETIREMENT HOME YOU WOULDN'T WANT TO BE TRICKED INTO STAYING IN!

I'm Andrew... and you're welcome.

NBC Nightly News: First Broadcast Review

1 Season Wonder!: Where's Huddles?

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“SAVAGES!”

TT for Toony Tuesday: F is for Family - S3 is Season Three

What it is, fellow Earthlings?

Brotha Andrew is back to gab on the latest batch of crazy, radical, bummer and outta sight episodes of F is for Family. Season Three to be exact. 

This season - like the second - continued the plotlines that just continue on. After ending where things could be a fresh new start with smiles, lollipops and rainbows for the Murphy family and their friends, of course life dealt them the brutal slap in the face known as reality.

- Frank is back at work at Mohican Airways, and has been promoted to luggage manager. But things come to a boil when coworker and best friend Rosie quits after he isn't promoted, and runs for city alderman.

- Sue is now pregnant with the family's fourth child, and - after quitting Plasti-Ware after the owner steals her brilliant salad spinner invention - tries her hand at entrepreneurship by starting up her own company with friend and fellow quitter Vivian.

- Kevin is now in summer school and, after dropping his asshole acquaintances like ants on an apple, gets a new group of friends that are just as bad but are better in most regards.

- Bill is still the devil's plaything, seeing even more traumatizing things any child could get PTSD from just one, and now has a "girlfriend" (his bully's somehow even more twisted sister) treating him like her bitch. 

- Maureen is ... doing stuff. I couldn't care less. I remember her getting on a clown show and actually close to winning a ring toss game, but the clown host fucked it up to keep the gifts for himself. (I actually felt sorry for her).

- Major is still around, humping anything and everything in sight.

Speaking on "major", the family's neighbors and friends have gone through changes as well.

-Sue's friend Ginny and her closeted gay husband Greg have finally divorced. While Greg is now living it up as an openly gay man (which made me extremely happy for him), Ginny is still a clingy, shallow, pathetic, questionable, self-absorbed excuse of a woman throwing herself at anyone with a pulse - including Otto Holtenwasser. Poor sweetheart.

-Otto, speaking of, is still our favorite sweetie of a Holocaust survivor, but has an edge to him.

- Bill's bestie Phillip has a diary that shows some... horrifying thoughts to people he doesn't like as a way to cope.

- Frank's co-workers are still doing their jobs at Mohican Airways.

-- But after being disrespected and passed over for a promotion, Rosie quits the company to tun for city alderman.

-- Bob Pogo has repented and is now on good terms with Frank and the other workers. I didn't remember much from him this season besides failing to save Bill in the finale.

-- Red and Carl are still shitty luggage carriers. And are still going on about Fuck School (their porno story).

-- After the deaths of the Dunbartons -- greedy asshole owner Roger and insane, brain-dead racist nephew Scoop, the former's wife Brandy takes the mantle as company owner. She was forgettable.

New characters:

- Chet Stevenson: He's a Vietnam vet who moves into town with his wife...

- Nguyen-Nguyen, Vietnam survivor whom marries Chet after the war.

- Bridget Fitzsimmons, little sister of Bill's bully Jimmy whom has a crush on and starts a relationship with the latter.

- Anthony Bonfiglio, baby brother of Bill's best friend Phillip. He's retarded. (What?? It was an acceptable word on TV back then).

- Jeffery Dahmer, neighborhood little asshole. 

And now, what did I think of this season?

It was great... but I didn't love it. It's pretty much more depressing and somewhat repetitive - even for this show. While there was some hilarious jokes and compelling realistic drama (this show's hallmarks), there were some jokes and moments I didn't like.

- Bill still walking into vile people doing vile things: this season, we have the cray cat lady very hairy cunt and a half-naked hobo pissing in a payphone booth. Every time this happens makes me scream inside and out. That same music that pops up every times this happens makes my teeth hurt too.

- Bill still an unwilling victim of Murphy's Law.

- Anthony's little "YOU KNOW WHAT?" act (after a while).

- Vic is a drug addict.

No really, that's it. I thought we'd get more of a serious side of Vic after losing his radio manger job and kicking out his bust-it-wide-open whore of a girlfriend who had sex with Kevin. We'd see him fall in a more vulnerable state as he drops the habit and get his life back on track and get a job just as great and well-paid. And I honestly thought it was funny at first, but... All we get from Vic throughout is "Yeah, I love drugs! I still feel good! I can stop any time I want!" He never does. Wasted. Just (like him) Wasted.

- Goomer is still creepy as fuck

Frank's friend & nextdoor neighbor - and grade A snoop, Goomer took his nosiness and oddities to the next level here when, at one point, he pretends to be Frank. By wearing the outfit, he draws in the receding hairstyle and wore the glasses. And the background music at the start at the moment really set in motion this disgusting blight. It got funny as it goes on, and got even funnier when his wife Evelyn catches him with his pants down (not literally, but after his (Frank's) pants were down on the can), when he openly lies to her about the situation saying Frank is stealing from him.

- Ginny. That is all.

She continues to be everything we hate about her since her debut, but now is even worse. After divorcing Greg, she hops from poor guy to pitied guy she can get her slimy hands on, and her very presence raises the hairs on every appendage of the other characters. The only good thing about her is that she finally let Greg go from her whiny, abusive clutches and . But she gets worse when she jumps straight to Otto and basically rapes him. Even he hates her. And when Otto isn't on good terms with someone, you know they're fucked. King size.

- Bridget. She makes Megan Parker look like Mabel Pines (selfish tendencies aside).

- Frank being more of an inattentive taint. 

Moments include:

- Ignoring Kevin when he wanted to conquer his fear of the motel pool he nearly drowned in.

- Not listening to Sue about who Chet really is (until it's too late).

- Avoiding Bill while the latter suffers through his latest form of punishment by the universe in the form of Bridget.

- The fight with Sue while she was heavily pregnant.

I just hope season four tones down the borderline morose undertones of this season, and presents the continuing story and plot-lines in a less darker way. I appreciate the (slightly off in spots) realism and linear development along with the proudly absurd jokes about a bygone era in American history that some many people reminisce while cheerfully glossing over the brutal shit back then that's really not much removed from what's happening today (just read the comments under random TV commercial videos on YouTube for just that). If not, I hope season five will be the last. That's how much I feel about season three (tone-wise at least).

And now, some moments I had more than a feeling about:

- Bill finally calling out his old man and old woman for all the abuse and neglect they threw upon him throughout. While in a life-or-death situation in the city river - with only a stuck shopping cart keeping him afloat. Seeing him finally grow a spine and speak his mind raw and genuine to anyone - after all the crap - is a very strong moment of catharsis. (Also, Maureen is good in my book for saving him.)

- Frank showing more glimpses of genuine emotion in some spots.

- Kevin facing his fear of swimming pool. In season 1, it's revealed that Kevin nearly drowned in a motel pool. This would more than probably explains his problems in school, which no doubt sent him to summer school. (Un)surprisingly, he nearly drowned again, but seeing him mature a bit and face his fears for closure is a very mature development and .

- Sue's determination to create her own kitchen appliance (even if if fails for her and Vivian pulls out of the partnership later on after a meeting).

-Rosie runny for local office as city alderman. It's great to see Rosie have more airtime and especially his own storyline, as he's one of my favorite characters. Sucks he lost but his 

Bridget. While I didn't like the character as yet another example of Bill's poor showing in life, her story was... an interesting one (in a good way). Watching her be young, 70s example of a Meghan Trainor song was unsettlingly entertaining and delivered in its purpose in making us feel much more sorry for Bill. and most of her funny lines were admittedly very funny. I raged when she didn't get her comeuppance for her actions, I hope she will next season.

Debi Derryberry get a lot of mileage for her several roles on the show, but this role as Bridget (coupled with the writing) has to be her scariest of all that I've watched in my lifetime. And for that, I'll give her major props.

- The story of Chet and Nguyen-Nguyen.

Stevenson is a vet fighter pilot whom went to Vietnam, and Nguyen-Nguyen is his wife from the country. They're happy; Chet's an awesome, upstanding guy and Nguyen-Nguyen's a sweet, shy, wise, lovely lady. Nguyen-Nguyen a sweet and introspective confidant to Sue, and Chet was seen as a great friend to Frank (but other characters (like Sue) saw a monster in him; it's only too late where Frank discover's Chet's true colors when he goes off the deep end). But under the surface is a very unhappy (and then, very scary) union. Chet is revealed to be a petty, unhinged, volatile, abhorrent "person" who really snapped in Nam - and snapped again later, and Nguyen-Nguyen his prisoner who lost her family and village during the war - by Chet. From that end, Nguyen-Nguyen suffers mightily from her "husband's" abuse and towards the end (notified by her improving English) finally snaps and returns the favor by poisoning Chet, leaving him to possibly Chet-- uhh, die in the hospital. Nguyen-Nguyen is taken to jail, where we leave her 

-- This storyline is incredible.

At first we meet a new interracial couple who seem happy, loving and all smiles; but as it progressed, it gets more and more upsetting, heartwrenching and nightmarish. As said earlier, Chet is a Vietnam pilot who went insane en route back to the States, and took out much of his (physical and emotional) rage on his immigrant/prisoner wife. And at first, Nguyen-Nguyen is a shy, quiet, sweet woman who learns English from watching our then-new TV shows. But later on, we learn she's not to be fucked with, and Chet learns the hard way.

Vince Vaughn (who is one of the show's EPs btw) give a phenomenal and shockingly genuine performance as Chet (especially during the latter half), which is a huge departure from his other characters with laid-back, devil-may-care slacker attitudes and a hidden heart of gold. Seeing him (or rather, hearing his voice) go from the usual to a raging, unhinged PTSD-suffering maniac under the surface was truly unexpected and the payoff was near-perfection.

Also worth a shining light is Eileen Fogarty as Nguyen-Nguyen. Her performance as Vietnamese woman fitting in in a new country with her homegrown "hero" husband and then suffering brutally under the shadow of the same man who helped kill her family, destroy her village and treat her even worse in her new home is both super hilarious and deeply harrowing -- in the same episode or sometimes even in the same scene. When Nguyen-Nguyen reveals her pain to Sue, it'll tug at the heartstrings and shed a few tears, and even more so during her last appearance when she reveals her revenge on Chet to Sue. You'll just want to give her a hug and all the love and care she truly deserves.

All in all, I thought the season was great, but it'll be a while before I'll give it a rewatch. The tone was way more dark and dreary than I was used to from this show, and left a much more bitter taste in my mouth. That's not to say the laughs weren't there, and there were mile a minute. Hopefully season 4 will IMO bring the series back on track to be an equally hilarious and poignant semi-autobiographical animated series based on a balding comedian who goddamn hates his father. Won't that be neato.

That's my review of F is for Family season three. And this has been Toony Tuesday. See you all next time for... whatever else. I'm Andrew and "may the good toons be yours!"

LA Riots Reborn: Protests and Uprising in America After the Death of George Floyd

In 1992, The United States would live though one of the most infamous in its history, when riots broke through Los Angeles when video of local cops brutally attacked Rodney King was released. When the officers were acquitted in a trial months later, the city's black community was not pleased. After the verdict, riots broke throughout the area - with businesses destroyed, people killed or assaulted, millions in property damage and an image that LA would never recover from for years. King himself spoke out on the carnage, and famously asked "Can we all get along? Can we get along?".

The us vs. them image and mentality of the black community vs. local law enforcement remained and reverberated for the decade and into the new millennium - especially throughout the 2010s, where anger, frustration, tears and calls for justice consistently reached fever point after the deaths of regular African Americans by police officers. -- are many whose lives were unfortunately and unfairly taken. The latest victim of such is George Floyd of Minneapolis, who was killed by police officer Derek Chauvin, while his fellow cops watched. Chauvin would later be arrested and charged with third degree murder and manslaughter.

After the video of the deadly incident went viral, the black and brown communities (and a large portion of the Caucasian community) responded with (mostly peaceful) protests in several major cities across the U.S. I fully support the protests, as it is the best way of waking up the ignorant and showing that black people are also human and are not just thugs and jail bait, and that sometimes, the police are evil monsters using their profession to take down black people who didn't deserve it.

Unfortunately, various law enforcement across the country made things worse by treating the protests as a terrorism uprising and disrupted them with rubber bullets, tear gas, pepper spray, physical attacks and arrests. Seeing police take down and seriously harm people who did nothing wrong and treat them are terrorists makes me furious and tear up a bit. Making it even more so is our brain-dead imbecile of a president; he's tweet-called for the military to step in and kill them (one recent tweet included the infamous, racist and disgusting phrase "Looting leads to shooting") and called for the the U.S. to fall under a "martial law". Plus, he called the governors of of states under protests and uprising "weak". All while hiding in a bunker below the White House (with the outside lights shut off like it's Halloween and everyone is hiding from trick-or-treaters!) What. A. PUSSY.

At one point led DC police to tear gas a group of protesters just so he can take a dumb photo-op in front of church. When November 3 comes around, take your anger to the polls and vote this stupid, psychotic, dictator-wannabe orange fat-ass out of the Presidency.

This would lead to looting in stores of differing sizes. People are stealing from stores in the name of George Floyd. He wouldn't want this.

Listen, folks. If you want to protest police brutality and such, go ahead. I support your fight and perseverance. But if you're gonna loot and steal from other people who built these stores and put their blood, sweat and tears into their hard work, then stop what your doing, go home, look in the mirror and see yourself as the monster that you really are. Because of people like all of you, these stores are now closed and boarded up; other people can't get their food or their prescribed medicine or anything important to survive. Fuck shoes or clothes and the like. You've ruined the good fight for those who really want to fight the good fight and nothing else, and ignorant people will see this as racially-charged guerrilla war. Black people caught looting, some white people caught looting, some white people caught  faking a looting. It's disgusting. Plus, there still is a viral disease out there; there's a chance you'll catch it. Give up the idiocy and don't desecrate the memory of a man who wouldn't do such a thing. He may have been caught with a counterfeit $20 bill; but he also died despite it. Find the right lane and stick with it. Fight for the black community's right to live freely and safely, and don't embarrass us all because you want a new pair of Adidas and a bag of chips at fucking Family Dollar.

His Name is George Floyd: Minneapolis Man Killed by Derek Chauvin, Ex-Cop Charged with Manslaughter / Other Cops Should Be Jailed

Once again, the United States is suffering from a disease. It's not just Coronavirus, but also a disease that corrupts and disrupts police officers in many cities across the country. It keeps on happening when it shouldn't have to, and it makes no sense. 

The latest victim is George Floyd from Minneapolis. He was allegedly caught with a voided check and was issued a warrant on fraud charges when he was stopped on the street by local police. According to the cops that were there, George resisted arrest, causing them to handcuff him and drop him to the ground - with one cop forcing his knee on Floyd's neck. That was an example of Brutality already, but what happened next is even more evil. The cop, Derek Chauvin, kept his knee on Floyd's neck for over 5 minutes, even as George begged to be released as he couldn't breathe and needed air. He never got to grasp for air and George Floyd lost consciousness at the scene, was arrested soon after, and died the following day at the hospital.

This was some bullshit. And it didn't even need fo happen. Cops asserting their authority has been a thing pretty much since the creation of law enforcement-- especially to people of color. You would think that in the age of smartphones, instant internet access and social media that  they would finally stand down and actually do their jobs honorably, right? Fucking. Wrong. Ever since (or even before) Trayvon Martin was heartbreakingly and unfortunately killed by fat evil bitch G***** Z******** (you know who that is; I'm not typing its name), there would be more and more cases of black people (who did nothing wrong) intruded upon, racially profiled and killed by white cops (who had major power trips during these incidents), and they end up walking Scot-free from the major crimes they committed thanks to hiding behind their badges and their superiors, who most likely covered up as much as they could to get them off the hook. These flickers should not be in law enforcement if anyone they face looks less like genuine threats that make them say in defense, "I was fearing for my life", when you have a gun, taser and nightstick in your possession.

In George Floyd's case, just because he was taller and stronger than the cops, that doesn't prove, beyond face value, that he would physically threaten the police. And wouldn't know this if the cops were true in their claim that he resisted arrest. But as proven later on after the video's release, they lied. (Shocker.)

Another video was released a few days later showing that George never resisted arrest and that the officers lost their damn minds for no good reason. Despicable.

Even if George resisted arrest, a cop kneeling on his neck like the guy was meeting fucking Queen Elizabeth until he lost his breath and consciousness was way beyond unnecessary and disturbing. These 4 cops did not do their jobs (and if you argue they did, then they did their jobs horribly, because one of them could've just tasered him, and oh yeah - He didn't resist arrest! THEY LIED ABOUT HIM RESISTING ARREST!!

The 4 corrupt cops deserved to get fired. But they deserve even more to go to prison for life -- one of them committed murder, and the other three aided him while doing nothing to stop. There is police brutality, but this instance took it to the next level, and it makes me sick to my stomach. The cynical asshole in me believes they won't go to jail; they'll walk and probably end up in another police department and possibly even kill again without the proper identification. I want  them to face justice and pay for their crime (and yes, choking someone to death is a crime even by a cop). But knowing that this outcome in court has  happened before, it'll happen again. And that is bullshit.

UPDATE: And now, the killer cop will face justice. Chauvin was recently arrested and charged with manslaughter and 3rd degree murder for the death of George Floyd.

The other cops have not yet been charged, but are under investigation.

No one in the Black community 100% trusts the police wherever they are, and this is just yet another reason why. If you out there want to be a cop, remember... this is not a privilege. Killing people just because you wear a badge is not a perk. Your job is to protect the innocent and arrest the corrupt and guilty. If you have to shoot someone, it should be below the head and chest and only at the last resort. If you still want to  be a cop, and ever end up doing this, you will not be seen as a good person.

These four cops.

Remember them as the shameless, badge-abusing scum of the earth they really and truly are.

And remember him like you remember the other African Americans who did not deserve all this.

His name is George Floyd.