Monday, January 13, 2014

Golden Globe Awards: My Review


Ahh, the Golden Globes, the loose-as-hell ceremony that I consider the drunk, fun-loving cousin of the Academy Awards. What I love about this is that unlike the Oscars, the humor isn't forced, the celebrities are being themselves for the most part, and it isn't boring me so much I might get a seizure. I love what I saw last night; Tina and Amy should host again next year, and the year after that and after that and after that, until people get tired of them, like sequels of Hollywood movies.

I'm gonna keep it short, so here are some highlights for me:
The thing I clearly hated about the show is actors walking across the auditorium to receive their award. It's not their fault the Hollywood Foreign Press Association foolishly put many of them in the back of the Beverly Hilton so they would be usurped by the bigger stars in front of the stage. Too bad, some A-listers didn't win.

The best joke of the night was at the beginning, when Tina Fey said "Gravity is nominated for best film. It's the story of how George Clooney would rather float away in space and die than spend one more minute with a woman his own age." Hahaha, it's funny 'cause it's TRUE!!

The worst joke of the night came from Brooklyn Nine-Nine creator Dan Goor: "Winning a Golden Globe is way better than saving a human life!" Yes, waiting an hour to see if you won an award and/or actually winning one is MUCH better than saving the life of--well, saving a life. Good one, Dan. Just be glad your show is about police officers saving lives and it won an award and leave it at that.

Melissa McCarthy was more drunk than funny on stage. I blame the media for hyping her up for being in so many comedy films, making her look like royalty. Even less funny than Jonah Hill not using a teleprompter to present a movie. At least he got it together with a hard copy paper.
I'd be Randy's father. I'd be creeped out by Jacqueline Bissett too. Diane Lane singing was nice. Unexpected and weird, but nice nonetheless.

One of the jokes also might have set off the live feed: "Like a supermodel's vagina, let's give a warm welcome to Leonardo DiCaprio". If there were any complaints, those people are pussies because they can't take a solid lewd joke. And it's Leo DiCaprio; gay men's penises will give him a warm welcome anytime.

There were much more highlights I would've put here, but I was too busy either laughing so hard or busy remembering the highlights I put here to put here.

This years' show was fantastic. Tina and Amy will host again, I'm sure. And the producers should change the format a little next year, maybe put on a 7-second delay all the way through, maybe make more time for the hosts, and-oh yeah- not make actors walk from the back of the room to get a damn Globe!!

WINNERS (in order of broadcast appearance):
Sup. Actress in a MP - Jennifer Lawrence (American Hustle)
(Great for a film that was released a month ago)
Sup. Actress - TV Series, Mini, or Movie Jaqueline Bissett (Dancing on the Edge)
(Best speech of the night just because she said "Shit". Bloody perfect!)
Mini-Series or TV Movie - Behind the Candelabra
Actress in a Mini-Series or TV Movie - Elisabeth Moss (Top of the Lake)
Actor in a TV Series - Drama - Bryan Cranston (Breaking Bad)
TV Drama Series - Breaking Bad (Anyone else "not expect" this?)
Original Score-Motion Picture - Alex Ebert (All is Lost)
Original Song-Motion Picture - "Ordinary Love"- (Mandela-Long Walk to Freedom)
Sup. Actor-TV Movie/Mini-Series Jon Voight - (Ray Donovan)
Actres in a Comedy/Musical - Amy Adams (American Hustle)
Actress in a TV Drama Series - Robin Wright (House of Cards)
Screenplay-Motion Picture - Spike Jonze (Her)
Actor in a Comedy/Musical - Andy Samberg (Brooklyn Nine-Nine)
Foreign Language Film - The Great Beauty/Italy
Sup. Actor in a MP - Jared Leto (Dallas Buyers Club)
Actor in a Mini/TVM - Michael Douglas (Behind the Candelabra)
Director-Motion Picture - Alfonso Cuaron (Gravity)
TV Series-Comedy - Brooklyn Nine-Nine
(A really good surprise; better than The Big Bang Theory in some aspects)
Actor in a Comedy - Leonardo DiCaprio (The Wolf of Wall Street)
(Great for another film released a month ago.)
Comedy/Musical Film - American Hustle
Actress in a MP, Drama - Cate Blanchett (Blue Jasmine)
Actor in a MP, Drama - Matthew McConaughey (Dallas Buyers Club)
Motion Picture - Drama - 12 Years a Slave
SPECIAL AWARD: Cecil B. DeMille Award - Woody Allen (Well deserved; his films are timeless)
My apologies if any winners did not appear on this list.

And that's it. Thank you for reading. I'll see you in March for the Academy Awards. See when Ellen Degeneres makes jokes about the nominees and other things, while somehow adding herself and her talk show into them, like she does any. other. time she appears TV. Wouldn't want to miss that.


Oh well. Good night!

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