SLMR: American Girl

Welcome to Short/Long Music Review, where I find songs (I either love or hate) to review them in a short review that took a long time to review.

This time I'm going back to 2013 (like I've always been), to pick out a pop song (like I always have), to do a review on...because I'm kinda lazy. This time, something you may have heard of, unless you've watched The View since last year.

It's "American Girl" by Bonnie McKee.

Even though this song came out last year, I never wanted to touch it at first because it seemed like another trashy, skanky, party girl, party-party song with an electronic beat. It does seem that way, but since I don't remember whether if pop consistently sounds the same for the last decade, I just thought this was different. And...it kinda does. It's cool, it's hip, it's groovy (sorry for the outdated terms), it's actually not electronic, and it's got a really good beat.

All right, I really like this song. (I know, it surprises me too.) As trashy as this song seems, believe it or not, this actually captures much of American life. At least, modern-day American life. Yes, even the partying, sex, drinking and other things those crazy kids of today is part of modern life. Yet it has a touch of innocence that the other songs by the bigger artists really don't have in their songs. It just screams "Summer!" so much, you'd think it was written by a writer from Phineas and Ferb.

Let's go to the lyrics.
"I fell in love in a 7-Eleven parking lot"
Because it's the next best thing after the local park, the movies, back alleys and local high school.

"Sat on the curb drinking Slurpees we mixed with alcohol"
I've never heard of a thing like that; people getting home-made buzz from anything these days (wet, whipits, helium, cat piss, ect.), I heard of, but that's a first.

"We talked about all our dreams, and how we would show them all"
Unfortunately, she's never met Lorde, yet. She'd tell her some things.


"But if you talk with your hands, we can negotiate/Whoa-Oh-oh"
You mean like Chicken Dance, Hokey-Pokey, Sign Language, Vulcan salute, what? (I know what she meant (sex?), just joking around.)

"I'll just keep moving my body/I'm always ready to party"
Yep, the reason this song (and the many others) is made; to dance, bump, grind, pop, lock, brake (which I think is probably illegal), drop, Wall-Es and thangs. Sorry, my "ghetto" crept up a bit. You really don't need to do the research or listen to this more than once to tell this is a party song.

"No, I don't listen to Mommy/And I never say that I'm sorry"
Ahh, smart-ass rebellous chick, huh? Sure, this genre's never had one before (sarcasm). Really, girls like that aren't liked by everyone and tend to end up on the street, but I guess she doesn't care; as long as she has a man, sex appeal, and alcohol-flavored Slurpees, she's fine.

"I am an American Girl/Hot-blooded and I'm ready to go-oo/
I'm lovin' taking over the world/Hot-blooded all-American Girl-oohh"
I do have a gripe with this chorus.
-"I was raised by a television"
Sure, make all girls look like they waste time watching shitty reality shows and corny teen movies. Unless you watch a lot of PBS too, but even then, the fact that this may imply you don't go to school that much fits the mold of really stupid US girls...and Paris Hilton.

-"Every day is a competition"
Every American has it infused in their DNAs; even the most sane and rational.

-"Put the key into my ignition"
SEX DOUBLE ENTENDRE!! Seriously, there are so many of them in pop songs these days, you just know what they are the first time you hear them. From the corny and lazy to the genius and unexpected. And these lyrics pretty much show that this girl (or whoever wrote this) thinks that some or all girls in this country are horny, lust-filled, Daisy Dukes-wearing floozies, and I call this malarkey!! (That's right, I said it; malarkey) Not all girls (and women for that matter) aren't like her. There are responsible, hard-working, rational females out there who go through hell and high water to get what they dream of, not some guys' pants. They can be lawyers, doctors, teachers, construction workers (yep, some do like to get their hands dirty), mothers, nurses, musicians and other things.

So if you want to waste you life watching TV since you were 2, compete in everything since you feel like it, and have some dude put his "Key" in your "ignition", like it's an R. Kelly song, by all means. I can't judge you. Live the life you want to; I'll just admire the real women that take large chunks of their lives to their jobs and other people and get the credit they deserve for that.

Now as I said before, I like this song, I honestly do. It's better than other bigwigs last year that put too much sex and partying into them. I enjoy it very much and hope this Bonnie Leigh McKee will have a wonderful career in the future. This coming from a guy who wishes death upon the bigger artists for the crap they put out...so it's pretty rare.