Now a little about her last single, "Shake It Off"? I actually liked it. (What?) It's a fun upbeat song with catchy lyrics and great beat to dance to. Even though the lyrics are corny, especially the spoken word and rap verses in the bridge, I really liked it. (Does anyone else feel a little chilly)
Anyway, after this, Taylor has released another single from her latest album 1989, and this one's called "Out of the Woods". And from what I hear, it's about running away from reality and into a wonderful fantasy into a forest of happiness and freedom from people--Oh, who am I kidding? It's another song about another shitty relationship she clearly didn't put much thought or effort into. Let's get this over with, shall we?
But first, here's the Backstory: the "One More Reason I Can't Get Any Soon" victim/Boyfriend for this song is One Direction member Harry Styles, who dated Taylor last year. Now, let's see Taylor give us her take of the 20th failed relationship she's been in since becoming famous.
"Looking at it noooow, it all seems so simple...
We were lying on your cooouuch, I remember!"
--And what she remembered was "Oh yeah, I'm supposed to break up with him now!"
"You took a Polaroid of us...
Then discovered (Then discovered)"
--That Polaroid still exists? Oh wow. No? Then discovered what? That Harry put more effort into this piece of crap than you did?
"The rest of the world was black and white
But we were in screaming color"
--Why yes, Taylor, the world is different. Meaning a screwed-up, horrible, asinine and downright bad place. Obviously different than the happy, poppy, bright and colorful little world you're living in.
And I remember thinking...
(ZZZ) Huh? Is the song over yet? Oh, it's not. Well, have we reached the chorus yet? Because this verse is so short and so slow and oh so boring, I feel like I'm going through hibernation! Not just sleeping, hibernating. We Can't Stop is faster than this. God, even Drake's songs are faster than this! Did I mention we just went through the first verse?
--And now, the chorus:
Are we Out of the Woods yet?, Are we Out of the Woods yet?,
Are we Out of the Woods yet?, Are we Out of the Woods?"
"Are we in the clear yet?, Are we in the clear yet?,
Are we in the clear yet?, In the clear yet? Good!"
--But wait, there's more! Seriously.
"Are we Out of the Woods yet?" (x4)
"Are we in the clear yet? (x3), In the clear yet? Good!"
To me, this chorus is code for "Is our relationship over?" because there's no other way to describe or think about it. This just make me think: "Why is this chorus stupid?, Why is this chorus stupid?, Why is this chorus stupid?, Why is this chorus stupid?"
Also, doesn't the tile sound like saying "Glad I dodged the bullet"? Because it seems like ol' TSwift is starting to be aware that
A) She can't keep a man
B) She knows she can't make a relationship last, and
C) She needs to make fresh material to keep her career afloat, or else it's all over
Anyway, second verse time.
"Looking at it now"
--whoopee, more reminiscing.
Last December (Last December)
we were built to fall apart
Wow; it looks like Taylor is aware of the fact that her relationships are terrible, and she knew that they will break up very soon.
Then fall back together
--Okay, maybe not that aware.
Your necklace hanging from my neck
--Yes, Tay, where else would you put on a necklace?
The night we couldn’t quite forget
When we decided When we decided
To move the furniture so we could dance
Baby, like we stood a chance
Riiight, Taylor. You & Harry really would stand a chance. And Lone Star, The Crazy Ones, Hidden Palms, The Michael J. Fox Show and Sean Saves the World are destined to become long-running hits.
Two paper airplanes flying, flying…
--That makes no sense. Taylor has finally cracked, folks.
And I remember thinking...
Aauuuggh, no more!!! Okay, after another round of the chorus, there's another verse, but I'm not gonna waste my time with it.
Taylor, it's pretty obvious you won't get a steady boyfriend anytime soon because you're the bad one in the 'ship, and they're smart enough to realize what happens after the moment they hear "I'm breaking up with you". In fact you yourself mentioned this in "Shake It Off" in these lyrics:
"I go out on many dates/But can't seem to make them stay".
But since you have this thing called "Denial" This follows:
"At least, that's what people saa-ay (mm-mm)".
(That's what they say, because it's true, you dumb cunt!
Oop, I guess that's where I fit as a hater that's gonna hate [hate-hate-hate-hate])
You're a desperate twat that uses men to make music, and uses your fans' sympathy to sell it. It's a brainwashing plan that shows no signs of stopping. I know it, they know it, everyone else knows it, and even your label knows it! (But they're too busy bathing in the money you raked in for them to care.) At least that's what I see in her now. I have nothing against her, it's just that her music is almost nothing but this crap, and her personality is so sweet and sugar-coated, you'll get diabetes from looking at he making a soap face. (look it up) All I'll say next is that I hate this song and expect to hate more Taylor Swift songs until I find the one song that isn't about boys and is about anything else. So, basically, the day Hell really freezes over.
I will admit, I would be lying in saying that I truly hate this song, just because it's another "TSwift song about a failed 'ship and it's the boy's fault" song. In that way, I do. But it's not that bad, a few of the lyrics are good (a few) and the beat is really really good, being reminiscent of 80s synth-pop. Yet, although this song is 3:37 long, it feels like it's 5:56 long. Even if it has the sound and feel of an 80s song (and I've heard 80s songs that have a couple lapses in verses), it still feels dull. This is the most boring TS song I've ever heard. Even "Teardrops on My Guitar" is less dull, mostly because the lyrics aren't stretched out and don't feel like they're less than 30 words a pop.
I won't hold my breath for another Taylor Swift single anytime soon, because it'll be just like this, and will sell just as great as this song. So, see you here next year, I guess?
And there it is: another Taylor Swift song. Need I say more?
Anyway, in two months, I bring you, for the first time ever, what I think is the best and worst songs of the year in my Top Ten Worst Pop/Indie Songs, Top Ten Worst Hip-Hop/R&B Songs and Top Ten Best Songs of 2014. They will be released at the end of December before Christmas. I think you all will like it a lot.
Thanks for reading, and see you later!!
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