*sigh*
Well...this is partially my fault.
In my reviews for the last couple years, I asked (or demanded, whichever one is more acceptable) MTV to hire a host for this year's VMAs, and they owned up. But it's their choice for the show that made me regret that.
Miley Cyrus.
Ever since Bangerz came out, she has been the epitome of forcibly trashy behavior, calculated raunchiness and parent-shaming personality. But unfortunately, that was the start. And now, she's hosting the Video Music Awards, where controversial and shocking is first and music videos is sixth.
Here's my review, which (despite the typos and goofs) may be more tame and sane than the entire show. And this blog is barely tame and sane.
Nicki Minaj began the show with her performance of her latest single “Trini Dem Girls” (ugh).
I honestly could care less about Nicki, but the song sounds nice. And the setup looks like a big festival, which was real hot. ...although the dancing was stilted. And yet I got a little bored.
My bordem withered away when she later performed “The Night is Still Young”, a song I like. During that time, Taylor Swift appeared. I don’t know why--oh, yeah, because she sang “Bad Blood”. Okay? In my mind, I didn’t give a crap at first, but then I realized the reason for this.
Remember their short feud on Twitter? In which Nicki bitched about not getting a nom for Video of the Year while Taylor did (predictably). Taylor (foolishly) fought back, but Nic was confused, causing TSwift to backpedal and invite Minaj to her shows--like this one.
So yeah, the two buried the hatchet and have made up on stage. No “Bad Blood”. Genius.
A pretty good start--
until Macklemore came in and made it mad awesome, with his and Ryan Lewis’ new song “Downtown” with their special unknown guest Eric Nally. I’m so glad I watched the video, because had I didn’t, I wouldn’t have caught the sweet recreation of the start of the video. And then they hit downtown (geddit?) Los Angeles to perform the song.
It’s such a fun, bubbly and goofy song that only Macklemore & Ryan Lewis know to create.
Also, mega dope surprise by Kool Mo Dee, Melle Mel and Grandmaster Kaz. (They looked like they let themselves go. For real.)
This was a great start to the show, which I should say was more or less than what I expected.
Miley slided onto the stage to do her monologue. No, Really.
And it was exactly what you thought would happen.
You know what? The VMAs have had shocking and controversial moments since year one. So it should be expected whatever Miley did wouldn’t be going over our heads for too long right?
Sure, what Miley did was in our faces and will never leave our minds for the next few months. But you can’t blame us for not having as much hindsight from that. That is still fresh for the trailer-trash-level grossness.
But now, this is no longer shocking. We knew something like this would happen, and we’re no longer shocked and disgusted by it. Even if the online ads are trying to make us do otherwise.
(Seriously, those would cause us to induce vomiting and seizures more than make us be aware of a yearly-televised awards show.)
It’s like, she’s trying too hard to be trashy and unhibited. So much so it’s not even funny anymore. It’s just so...“Meh”, it bores me. The outfit isn’t even stupid, it’s just there. And the “normal” Instagram post she did just has to be normal; whatever pics she took during her Bangerz tour is so much just a disgrace to digital photography, that this would be cute. Precious even.
The performance after the first award given--Best Male Video to Mark Ronson & Bruno Mars for “Uptown Funk”--came from The Weeknd, performing his latest hit “Can’t Feel My Face”. The dong is perfect alternative R&B, and the critics were right when saying that he sounds closest to Michael Jackson. In fact, thinking of it, if you picture him singing this, it can work.
Weeknd’s vocals are amazing and his bare setup make the focus on him even better.
This was one of the best performances of this year.
Demi Lovato took the Downtown stage to sing her piece of crap song “Cool for the Summer”. I heard the song earlier in the day, and it is garbage. It’s about Demi suddenly trying to create a tryst with another girl. I’ve seen trysts with two chicks being super hot, but what goes on in this song is forced, contrived and un-sexy. One of the lines is “Don’t tell your mother”. Who in the hell would ever tell their mother about a possibly drunken fling with another girl? And then there’s “Die for each other”--One kiss and you’re already stuck at the hip with her?? If I were that chick, I’d get the fuck out of there immediately.
This is a terrible song, and this was a--less terrible performance.
Justin Bieber returned to the VMAs for the first time in five years, performing his collab with Skrillex--“Where Are U Now” and newest single “What Do You Mean?”.
First up, "Where Are U Now". The song has an awesome beat, especially when Justin wasn't singing. And his dancing was great. He's gone back to his Usher roots, and that's real good.
At first, from reading the title of the latter, I assumed the song would be an answer to Selena Gomez’s snoozefest “The Heart Wants What It Wants”, but it’s not. It’s a nice song, and like the previous song, has a real good beat, with the sound effect of a ticking clock being a nice plus.
This has so much to discuss.
There's this message he says at the end.
"Life is a journey.I admit, that was lovely.
Sometimes, your battle's full of the unexpected.
Sometimes you focus on your destination, and forget the journey.
But when you fall, it allows you to get up stronger.
It allows not to lean on your own understandings.
Give into faith. Believe in something bigger than yourself.
And find your own purpose. "
--And then...he can fly! Yep, he flew over a platform on stage. It looked like that thing that help Sonic and his friends rise to higher grounds in Sonic Adventure...or that he was wrapped on wires. Either way, that was cool.
--And then he cries. That was weird.
Alright, Justin. I forgive you. Just...don't be an asshole douche again.
(translation: That was yet another great performance.)
(Jussie Smollett and Serayah from Empire gave us the yearly socially conscious moment by a black person, mentioning the senseless violence and killing of the year and the higher grounds many gays reached in marriage, which was lovely, but I bet that wouldn’t be talked about in the media.)
Tori Kelly immediately brought us another one of the best performances of the year--just from her name alone--with “Should’ve Been Us”. This performance was great; an unexpected rock-ish version of the song was a nice change-up. She is one of the best singers around with one of the best voices around and one of the best songs of the year. The rock tone was amazing, and brought a different sound to her that makes her so great.
Let’s just say that Kanye West has so much ego in the world, we all might die of loss of oxygen and erotic asphyxiation. So it was a no-brainer that he’s being received the Michael Jackson Video Vanguard Award.
Taylor Swift presented the award, and let’s just say, this came full circle.
Yeezy got a standing ovation when he received the award, and went on spouting nonsense involving his incident back in 2009. When he was trying to be personal, it ended up sounding like he’s talking about himself. He said that when the setup is dismantled, the impact will still be there. Yes, the impact of some egocentric dickhead winning an award he received 10 years too early will still wither when the next artist will perform at the Microsoft Theater. All of it was super hypocritical and disgustingly self-centered. I had to press mute to ignore the bullshit. And it finally ended with him announcing that, in 2020, he’ll be running for President. I wasn’t fond of Kanye receiving the honor, but now I’m just angry and disgusted. At least he's a good father.
Fuck you, Kanye West.
Back at the Downtown stage, Pharrell Williams gave another one of the best performances of the year with his new single, “Freedom”, a socially-conscious track about escaping from political correctness and living life however you want to live it. I really enjoyed the beat; the piano sound was great to listen to. And the concept is And the way he screamed Freedom kept me up awake from all the boredom I suffered from Kanye’s shit-ass Video Vanguard speech. Very good performance here by Skateboard P.
(Okay, a little bit about the Downtown stage: I don't know why this was employed when only three performers sang on it. I mean, as small at this year's stage was, it's still big enough for everyone to perform on it. And all of last year's performers sang or rapped on it, so it makes not much sense. But hey, two of the best performances happened on it--that's a good thing.)
twenty one pilots and A$AP Rocky took the Square stage to perform a bunch of songs in a melody. I couldn’t tell which song was by which artist, because I don’t listen to both of them, nor do I care for Rocky.
I really enjoyed the energy going on, thanks to drummer Josh Dun, and Rocky jumping in actually made this a little better than expected. Although the “Look, mama, we made it/We’re at the VMAs!” line doesn’t have much purpose anymore. Who thinks performing at the VMAs means anything anymore? I surely don’t. I could run naked on the stage and be tasered by security, and it still wouldn’t mean anything these days.
And finally, Miley returned to the stage to perform a new song that’s basically her saying “I don’t give a fuck about what people say about the dumb shit I do”, called “Dooo It!” (as if she named it after a line in an episode of Fairly OddParents--”Mooo it.”). And she’s right; why give a shit about what she does, when the shit she does isn’t worth being talked about? I don’t give a fuck about her and her life, so I don’t give a fuck about this performance. Not even if The Flaming Lips appeared near the end and potentially made it better. Oh, and she tried too hard.
This year’s show wasn’t great--It was really good, but not great. And at times, pretty boring. Miley tried too hard to be edgy and unfiltered but it was a big mess, and I tried way too hard to care a but, but I failed. hard. I wasn’t surprised or too happy for the winners of the awards. And I got tired before the end of the night.
And speaking of the awards, the Moonman got another revamp.
After Katz's strange retouch of 2013, the show's producers asked artist Jeremy Scott to give the VMA his own reworking. And, after looking at it, and to be honest...I like it.
I like the Moonman this year-the colors match & pop amazingly and the chain is embarrassingly awesome. Great job, @ITSJEREMYSCOTT #VMA
— Maroon Mondays (@MaroonMondays) August 31, 2015Yeah, great job, Mr. Scott. You done good.
Random Shit:
--Miley slid onto the stage through a weird multi-colored slide.
That’s more like Kids’ Choice Awards-random shit.
--
--During her win for Best Hip-Hop Video, Nicki Minaj took off from one feud (her just-done feud with Taylor Swift) and created another with host Miley Cyrus. She opened up on stage about an interview Miley had with the New York Times. Nicki hit back with this scathing rebuttal:
On one hand I would be saying: Nicki, shut up and sit your fake ass down. You just won a moonman. Just be happy, and don’t let anyone else try to ruin you vibe. Especially someone like Miley.
On the other: Good for her, distancing herself from dumb controversy that some foolish cunt tried to make. This didn’t have to happen but it happened. And good for Nicki to burn that shit after Miley reaped what she sowed.
--Justin Bieber cried during his performance. I don’t know why: either it’s his first performance in 5 years and is overwhelmed by the audience’s reaction, or that many people on social media mocked his new gay-ass haircut (which looks like a reprisal of his original swoop hairdo), or that iconic Horror director Wes Craven died. Either way, it was weird-yet-heartwarming moment.
--During the last commercial break, Miley appeared backstage covering herself with a curtain to advertize a new song.
During this, she accidentally (or didn’t; who knows? who cares?) slipped a tit, causing the producers to hastily cut to the stage. At that point, I wasn’t fazed by what came on screen, that just means nothing to me.
--Rebel Wilson came on stage wearing a police outfit and then stripped out of it, wearing a shirt that said “Fuck tha Police Strippers” or some shit. This was very offensive, and a diss toward the Black Live Matter movement.
--Miley tried to be as black as possible during her hosting duties.
She tried to look like she’s friends with The Weeknd and A$AP Rocky, with neither of them cheering back in agreement.
-She tried to diss Nicki Minaj for trying to use recent tweet about issues on black artists not receiving accolades for her own benefit, but Nicki clapped back to her face. Miley tried to calm the storm, but it didn’t sound like what Nicki really said.
-She tried to take Just Bieber’s emotional breakdown and put herself into it by showing off her atrocity to fashion of the moment.
-She called her grandmother “Mammy”. What the fuck, Destiny? What the fuck?
It’s clear that Miley was trying to make the VMAs however she wanted by being as racially ignorant as possible to draw attention to herself. It worked, but it made her look like a complete fucking idiot. Miley tried to take any moment of the show and threw herself into it to take attention from everyone else. It worked out for her, but it also blew up in her face.
Miley was one of the most attention-hogging, lazily-worked and horribly attentive hosts in the history of the VMAs, and there were many. If they get her to watch next year, I won't be watching. Even if some of the best, talented singers on Earth will perform.
Before we get to the winners, here a couple more winners for ya, in the form of the performers of the VMAs Pre-Show.
Walk the Moon kicked it off with their monster hit "Shut Up and Dance".
The song is ultra-fun, catchy, exciting and even addictive (that's thanks to the delicious cheesiness and the kickass 80s beat). So it was great to watch the band perform it live. It included some cut-in by its host Sway, but worry about that. The Pre-show already happened, so skip that. All-in-all, it was an awesome performance.
Get More:
2015 VMA, Artists.MTV, Nick Jonas, 2015 MTV Video Music Awards, 2015 VMA, Artists.MTV, Music, Nick Jonas, Full Episodes
The beat is so sick, I would die from it, because it's just as kick-ass as the beat of "Shut Up and Dance". And it has "catchy" written all over it. I love that, just as I love the female astronaut dancers feeling Nick during the performance. I mean "Houston, we have a problem. And Nick Jonas is the solution. Over."
I love both of these songs, and I'm so glad I got a chance to watch them both when I had the chance. "Dance" deserved having a high, successful future on the charts, and I think "Levels" will be having a really good stay there too.
Winners:
during the pre-show:
Taylor Swift-”Black Space”
Rock: Fall Out Boy-”Uma Thurman” (this song rocks)
during the main show:
Male: Mark Ronson feat. Bruno Mars-“Uptown Funk” (good choice, but Ed Sheeran is better)
Hip-Hop: Nicki Minaj-“Anaconda” (Fuck.)
Female and Pop: Taylor Swift-”Blank Space”
Video with a Social Message: Big Sean f. Kanye West & John Legend-”One Man Can Change the World’
Artist to Watch: Fetty Wap (fucking really?)
Video of the Year; Taylor Swift featuring Kendrick Lamar-”Bad Blood”
(her speech was just freakin’ brilliant)
In the end, I think I half-regreted watching. I have other things to watch, and I instead watched that. I was given one huge warning not to watch, and yet I watched anyway. Fortunately, there were some of the performances that I enjoyed. That made me enjoy it in that regard. And the year's winners weren't great.
As for Miley...
ugh...Billy Ray, I hope you're proud. Because if my daughter (should I choose to have one) is just like Miley and she hosted the VMAs, should we be a rich famous family...I'd be proud, too.
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