Thursday, June 11, 2015

America's Got Talent X Weekly Review: Audtions--Ep. 3-The 96-Year-Old Firecracker, The Girl with the Golden Pipes and The Sexy Bearded Lady


Hey, everyone. Welcome back to my Review of the Auditions of America’s Got Talent-Season X.
With this edition, the NBC announcer claims that we should watch this on Tuesday or hate ourselves on Wednesday. Since I hate myself already, this wouldn’t make things worse. Unfortunately for me, Game 3 of the the NBA Finals was on the same night, and I had this Review series to do, so that sucks. But thanks to the Internet and my quick typing, I can go through this easily (and my level of self-doubt stays the same). So let’s go!


After another musical opening, this time the ultra-awesome “We Will Rock You” by the equally-ultra-awesome Queen, the judges are seated and ready to scout some acts, Nick is looking fresh and ready to...stand behind the stage watching, I guess, the buzzers are synchronized, the acts are nervous, and it’s time to find some Talent!

Speaking of Talent, there were three acts from this week that I was deeply impressed with and felt should should continue on in the competition. These three are different in genres (dancing, singing and stand-up).
Before I get to who could be my definite favorites, here’s the other favorites from this week’s stop of the Auditions Train:
First up, DJ Smart, a dancer from a dance company called Freelusion, using video mapping to merge with dance. His act using such was absolutely magical (not only in a metaphorical sense, but also literal).

His dancing is amazing, the timing with the effects was perfect, the effects themselves was beautiful, and the reveal of a female dancer using some effect was simply awesome (and her moves were just as great). I loved this act, ever since DJ Smart (not his real name, by the way) came out and pepped up the already-pepped crowd. This dude is nice, happy and cool; I like him already. And I can’t wait to see what him and other members of Free Illusion have coming in their sleeves to blow me away with (only hypothetical this time. because they usually wear no clothes during the act).


Paul Zerdin is a ventriloquist. Without the extra stuff, I’ll just say he is hilarious. Even without his dummy, he was awesome. Watching his lips move without saying a peep, and then hearing that peep come out without his lips moving an inch is simply spellbindingly impressive. I’ve never seen this before, and it shocks me.
And with his dummy Sam joining the fray, he is just as great. His high-pitched childish voice and Paul’s deeper voice somehow bounce off amazingly and the quickness is mindblowing. These guys can be the next Terry Fator and...his group of puppets. I just know it.

Next up is Michael John, a magician from Los Angeles. His act involves kissing Mel. Creepy. At least that is what I thought, when I read the title of the available clip on YouTube. While it did happen, the title implied that he come onto Ms. B like a frickin' creep,

but he wasn't that way here. What he rally does is have Melanie hold a card of her choice, sign it, then put it in her mouth. Then he'll take a card, put his name on it, and put it in his mouth. Then he wants to kiss Mel. (yeah, still creepy) After that, it turns out that after said smooch is the other's card in John's and Mel's mouths. That was cool. But not impressive. I think he has potential, but not to be a great act.

And now here are my definite favorites from this episode:
Vard & Tao Porchon-Lynch are some sort of May-December act. He’s a dance teacher. She’s the student. And she’s 96. Together, they’re gonna dance.
I admit, when I first saw them on stage, I was exasperated, because watching old people dance may end up and flames. But I’ve been wrong before…

...so I was a bit optimistic in their act. I mean, I was a little excited when she revealed her age, so let’s see how they go.

Tao is a very lovely woman at 96 years young. I loved the child-like exuberance and wit she displayed. And it’s great to see that she can still get it at her age. She really proves age is just a number, and you can do whatever you want as you’re young as you feel. Oh, and Vard was great, too. He’s a damn good dancer and looks hot (yeah, I said it. What are you gonna do about it?).
And it’s lovely that he is dancing with her, despite the age difference.
Also the Tinder joke was really funny.


Alondra Santos is next. She 13 from San , TX. She’s singing a Mariachi song. And dang it, she can SING! the way she sings in her Spanish is amazing, and her control and . I never expected a young adult voice to come out of a teenager’s body, but she has it! Great job, young lady. You deserve a trip to Vegas.


Scott Heierman is either a guy in a costume or a drag queen. Either way, I love this guy! The second he showed up on stage, I fell in love with him, and knew we would have another hit on the group. His humor (I assume a guy’s parody take on the typical woman’s problems about the world and whatever) was gut-busting hilarious and hit all the right notes like Luciano Pavarotti at Carnegie Hall. And if I may be a lady for a moment…”His hair game was on point, shoe game on a hunnit, and his dress was on muthafookin’ FLEEK! Yaasss, he did that! Holla for ya girl! I’ll holla.”
Seriously, he was awesome, and...he deserves to go to the Lives almost immediately. At least some people agreed.


And finally, another act (SPOILER) worthy of the Golden Buzzer. (Sorta)
29-year-old singer Sharon Irving from Chicago, singing Hozier's breakout "Take Me to Church".

I don't think this song is perfect for her to sing, but her voice is really good. Her register and tone are wonderful, but this song is too dark and deep in pitch for her to sing.
I honestly think another act should've gotten the Golden Ticket, because, while I was impressed with her voice, I wasn't impressed with her song choice. I hope she does go to the Live Shows, because she's really good, and I want her to be great with other songs. Good for her, and good luck to her.

Acts I Don’t See Moving On Very Soon:
Caravan of Glam

These guys are drag queens. And they strutted and danced. I kinda liked them. A lot. I know they would make it to finals or Vegas. But they were a surprisingly pleasant act to watch.

Ahh, another week, another set of acts, another reason to enjoy watching (except for the NBA Finals; that is awesome). Thanks for joining me in another edition of the America's Got Talent Reviews. Tune in next week when the auditions hit...well, wherever they took place this season. The producers never revealed them. Sad.
See you next week!

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