Special SLMR 2017: iHeartRadio MMVA Edition

Hi, everyone.

Welcome to part 2 of our three-part series on Short/Long Music Review, where I review music tied to the big music-based awards shows in June.

Part One--based on CMT Music Awards, is already uploaded;
Part Three--to be based on the BET Awards is up next week.

This time, I’m reviewing music for this year’s iHeartRadio Much Music Video Awards.
This ceremony based in Canada, may definitely be rooted in Popular music, but also has reaches in Hip-Hop and R&B as well. But that’s not why I watch every year. Why I watch is because of the great list of performers they manage every year, the spectacular and creative stages built on their parking lot and the high caliber of excitement, wonder and ecstasy that only comes with waiting for and watching the MMVAs. And this year’s show has to be no exception; Lorde, Imagine Dragons, Niall Horan, Iggy Azalea and DNCE--along with Arkells, Jessie Reyez, Jazz Cartier and Julia Michaels and more, will perform this year and

For this edition, I’ll review songs performed by most of these artists, with particular emphasis on the lesser known big artists first, while putting the bigger artists at the end. All good? Great.

Let’s kick it off with…
“Knocking at the Door” - Arkells



While I’ve heard their name and seen their faces for years on the MMVA circuit, I’ve never gotten the chance to actually hear their output. So now, I’m giving them the listening they deserve.

This song is definitely a love letter to Toronto. It’s people, culture, personality are shown in full display; and I love every second of it. And it really shows so much other than “that one city in Canada every other person outside it knows (by extension, because Drake and Bieber (not really) are from there)”.
I love the production; the rock beat, the energy, the tone of open pride and love for something, the small but hyped-up uses of horns, and the use of random women talking with the singer in the second verse.
Max Kerman’s vocals really scream his love on his sleeve, including literally on the chorus. I love that he does that; he’s basically quiet (but progressively less later on) on the verses, but then explodes on the hook. It’s just amazing.

This is a perfect banger, a perfect city pride song, and something perfect to play during city events all year long. This is Toronto when the night is young and the party’s on; and I’ve love to be there if/when I can.

I think this band has a new fan in me from now on.
I can’t wait for Arkells to perform this live on-stage.
And for Kerman to grab some throat lozenges second after he’s done.
--
“Shutter Island” - Jessie Reyez



This artist definitely has talent flowing through.

This haunting track is about a horrible relationship where the woman suffers at the hands (in some lines, possibly literally) of her abusive significant other, while trying her best to stay for her love of the guy. This is what real breakup songs are about: the substance, the raw feelings, the intensity, the pain and the heartbreak shown on the singer’s sleeve. The actual feelings someone goes through during a terrible relationship and/or after a bad breakup are heard here; not some fairytale story that turned out to out to be a daydream in the continuing process of a dull reality.

The line “The straightjacket is custom built tho” sticks out (I think) because of it’s symbolism to the restraint of true feelings the woman goes through after a breakup or her feelings have released wide open and she’s suffering from it. It’s a powerful, brilliant line that shines on the real-life struggles women (and at times, men) go through

Reyez has a rough and squeaky yet beautiful voice, and she uses it to its full potential here and her other songs to show real, raw, true emotion and real, uncut feelings that I don’t think I’ve heard from a female singer in years. It’s a wonder why she hasn’t gotten bigger any sooner.

I also suggest checking out her other songs “Figures” and “Gatekeeper”, which are also raw, emotional, genuine, powerful and true in the stories they tell (relationships and the bad side of getting famous). I believe these songs will definitely put on the road to stardom.

I think I love Jessie Reyez. No...I know I do.
--
“Tempted“ - Jazz Cartier

I'm not sure if this is or isn't a song about messing with another guy's girl. It feels like it is, but can't be too sure. But I like it.

Cartier has a slick flow, and I do like some of the lyrics
--
“Issues” - Julia Michaels

Hey! You got problems in your relationship? Well, so does Julia Michaels.



“Issues” is about a woman going through anxieties of dating a guy, and takes comfort when learning he’s going through the same thing.
This song is just raw yet lovely. It just tells us the problems we face in a relationship: trust, common ground, arguing, being open, etc. etc. And I really like it.
The midtempo beat is nice, simple and soft, contrasting from the lyrics. Michaels sing in a raw, open, emotional tone. This track is very relatable to people who go through , and Julia wears in on her sleeve, as shown in her interview with Genius.

I’m a person just like what’s found in this song, except with lots of people. So I can like, agree and relate with this more than I’d want to. Plus, I’m happy and sad it’s a little under 3 minutes.
Happy because it’s not filled with bullcrap filler. And Sad that it’s pretty short.

--

You guys remember Kardinal Offishall? That guy who burst into the US scene in 2008 and actually made it big for a little while? Songs like
and “Numba 1” proved he had some staying power...and then he dropped off the face of the Earth into obscurity for for a nearly a decade.

Then during last year’s Red Carpet pre-show, he returned to the public eye (at least as far as I’m aware) as the house DJ and part-announcer. I didn’t notice much but it was a surprise to see him again and actually recognize him. So I’m curious to see what he’ll do back in his home turf.

--

“Mo Bounce” - Iggy Azalea

I liked “Fancy”. I hated “Black Widow”. I really didn’t like “Team”. This one? Even worse.


This song tried be like “Anaconda”. I despise “Anaconda”, so I don't like this one as much. Although it has its own original beat (even if it’s lyrics were written by 9 people), it’s not enough to be likable in my opinion. And in the opinion of the public, it was about the same. Since the novelty wore off, almost no one wanted to like or listen to an Iggy track, and it openly shows. It reached near the top of a Billboard chart… the Bubbling Under Hip-Hop chart.
So it makes me wonder why she’s still around. I don’t think I’ll ever find a song of her’s I’ll actually like again.

“Switch” - Iggy Azalea ft. Anitta


Oh...well...I kinda like this. The production is kinda kickass, with a industrial-like sound reminiscent of Kanye’s album Yeezy. And Iggy has a real good flow with lyrics in the first verse I actually like. And featured guest Anitta has very good vocals in the hook, which is really catchy.

I do hate Iggy’s delivery at the end of most of the second verse, singing (which she can’t do) and ending a syllable like a question. This is one of the tropes in modern rap that piss me off the most. Other than that, it’s an alright track that’s pretty fun to listen to.
--
“This Town” - Niall Horan



Okay; I’m a sucker for slow, humbling songs about love and togetherness, but this song is so (near-)perfect. Niall’s vocals perfectly compliment the soft, dreamlike guitar-based production, and the lyrics (while sappy) do recognize something that does happen these days--a strong romantic relationship that matters more than most things in the world (well, hopefully).

I like this one. Feels like a nice track to play for the love of your life.
(...no, I’m not pussy-whipped if you’re wondering.)
--
“Thunder” - Imagine Dragons

Yes, guys, they’re back!
Imagine Dragons are back to bring us more potentially big catchy hits.
But first, look at this high-grade Star Trek film-based fan’s wet dream of a video.



Visually beautiful, but contextually head scratching. Oh, and you can’t miss the Jeep product placement. Just like you can’t miss the song’s placement in the ads. Circle of life, amirite?

To the song however, it’s catchy. I’m sure hearing “Thunder” under a pitch-shifted voice over and over will make it so. If anything, this would’ve been an out-of-this-world tribute to the character from Bambi, and I wouldn’t be surprised. The beat is very primal and very bumpin’. The rest of it is alright; a real basic “I was a kid different from everyone else and I wanted to be something big, but they all laughed at me, but I showed them all wrong’...song. The lyrics plainly say this.
It’s super radio-friendly too. And I have never heard it on the radio before this.

Other than that, moving on to their other single that is much better.
-
“Believer” - Imagine Dragons



While not as radio-friendly as “Thunder”, this is just as primal (if not much more) and much more awesome. This track is about a man--broken inside--pissed at the world and always ready to let out his anger. That is until he meets former 80s action superstar Dolph Lundgren starts boxing. Makes sense? No. Awesome? Damn skippy.

The beat is exiting, breathless and filled to the brim with awesome. Definitely sounds like a song you’d hear in an action film or a fighting film like “Eye of the Tiger”, “You’re the Best Around”, and “Gonna Fly Now”...and not in a film like “Murder on the Orient Express” (because Why?).


I like this one a bit more, but both these songs are great start off singles for Evolve.
--
"Green Light" - Lorde



And yes, guys, she's back too.
Our Lorde and savior-ess has returned for another round of success in the mainstream--despite shitting on it in "Royals".
This song here, dealing with a breaking up with a crappy boyfriend and finding yourself in the fun world of being single, is just as unconventional-sounding yet fun and brilliant as the rest of her music. Lorde's vocals are still fresh, funky and perfect; and the beat is just as subverted and unique, yet kickass and awesome as her other singles. And just the fact that she's back just makes me (and possibly the rest of the world) super happy.

--

And that’s it for this special review of SLMR. Thanks for tuning in. And make sure you tune in to the 2017 iHeartRadio Much Music Video Awards, tonight on Much (in Canada). If you're in any country that's not Canada, go to Much.com/MMVA and watch the live stream. For optimal experience, watch the live stream starting at 6:30 on the network's Twitter page. It's gonna be so lit!

Tune in next week for the last special awards show SLMR review for the BET Awards.

Toony Tuesday 2017: Billy Dilley's Super-Duper Subterranean Summer

Hey everyone. Welcome to Toony Tuesday!

Today, for this edition, we're taking a look inside the wide, wonderful, wondrous, wubulous, fantastic, Super-Duper Subterranean, amazing world of...Billy Dilley.
It’s Billy Dilley’s Super-Duper Subterranean Summer.

Special SLMR 2017: CMT Music Awards edition

Hey, everybody.
Welcome to the first of three special editions of Short Long Music Review. For this month, I dedicate them to three well-known, highly anticipated and/or beloved televised awards ceremonies in North America:
The CMT Music Awards; the BET Awards; and Canada’s biggest party of the calendar year, the iHeartRadio Much Music Video Awards.

After doing an edition for the MMVAs in 2015, I decided to bring it back for MMVA this year; along with the CMTMAs and BETAs as well.

Let’s start with the CMTMA’s, country music’s biggest night...outside of the CMA Awards, the ACM Awards, the ACC Awards and--damn, these names sound almost the same! Anyway, this is one of those ceremonies that recognize and celebrate Country music. This one is the only one that does so on cable television. And despite my indifference to Country, I do love watching every year. The performances are exciting, the stage work and use is breath-taking and watching people win awards (especially ones I know little about) makes me really happy (...for some reason).

So, for this edition, let’s review the nominees of Video of the Year. Why? Because most of the noms in that category are also nominated in other categories. Make sense, right?

(also, some songs in the category have already been reviewed in past episodes, so let’s get to what we didn’t review...starting with…

“Star of the Show” - Thomas Rhett



This is...a real nice song. For much of his career, Rhett has made songs about one person...his wife. (aww.) and this song is one of them. Now, I’ve heard of many songs by many artists about their true love. Some work wonders, other fall flat. This is riiiiight in the middle.

“Walking down the street, hand in mine
It don't keep them other guys
And their wandering eyes from looking at you
That's alright and that's okay
Who can blame 'em anyway?
You're so pretty, and you ain't even got a clue”
=
“Friday night on the town
We walk in and you draw a crowd
Even the band seems to sing for you
Ease on up, order a drink, barkeep says it's all on me
You look at me and laugh
Like you don't know what to do
Baby you're so cute”

Okay. So this is about (possibly) an insecure woman who wonders why people are staring at her and why guys are leering and close to molesting her. It’s because she’s beautiful and she doesn’t know it. Eughh…
Also, for some reason, Rhett isn’t angry or jealous that his best girl is drawing attention; he likes it because he has a humble, lovely girl in his arm. I guess... (What kind of man is he?)

Fun instrumental, nice guitar-based melody and Rhett drawing tolerable vocals.
Cheesy, yes, but a fun listen nonetheless. (Unless you hate that stuff, then this is the worst for you).
And the video is awesome; basically Rhett is conducting magic and effects in a hangar. It’s wild, colorful and fun to watch.
“T-Shirt” it isn’t, and that’s more than okay.

--

“Vice” - Miranda Lambert



Look at the video. What does the flipped, trashed car remind you of?
“The Hills”?

Other than the starting rip-off, this song is really sad. And by sad, I mean “slow, boring, barely-emotional, what-the-fuck-does-this-mean” Country crap.

No seriously! Look at this:
“Sting of the needle dropping on a vinyl
Neon singer with a jukebox title full of heartbreak
33, 45, 78
When it hurts this good you gotta play it twice”
…
“All dressed up in a pretty black label
Sweet salvation on a dining room table
Waiting on me
Where the numb meets the lonely

It's gone before it ever melts the ice
Another vice”
…
“Standing at the sink not looking in the mirror
Don't know where I am or how I got here
Well the only thing that I know how to find
Is another vice”

I’m sorry if I sound stupid (trust me, it happens a lot), but what this mean exactly? Falling for/sleeping with bad guys? Abusing hard drugs and/or alcohol? Escaping your troubled past? If so, these lyrics are having a hard time being even subtle about it.

So after a few listens/reads, I learned about it more, and it sits more well with me. Lambert’s vocals are pretty good (soft and weak, with a bit of vulnerability) and the production does fit with the story (if just barely).

I like it, but it’s one thing Country is a sucker for, it’s songs about being a shitfaced shit-head once in your life and trying to change from it.

Also, good luck thinking Miranda Lambert isn’t gonna win a handful of awards (nicknamed the Belt-Buckle) this year. The CMTMA’s have pretty much become her bitch at this point in time. Sometimes she shares it with Carrie Underwood.
And speaking of her...

--

“Church Bells” - Carrie Underwood



I love Carrie Underwood. One of the very few American Idols we still give a damn about, she the has pipes of a kitchen sink after a use of Drano, the good looks of a TV angel, the music that can cross over with the best of them. Hell, I still jam to “Before He Cheats” from time to time. She is one of the best Country artists today, and if I hear her voice, I won’t reach for anything else for a minute.

This song? No exception.

The energy is electric, Carrie’s vocals are bright and alert, and the chorus is super catchy.

--

“Blue Ain’t Your Color” - Keith Urban



This song ain’t my color. (heh!?)

Oh look! Another song about a guy telling a woman that another guy she’s dating isn’t treating her right, and he’ll treat her better. Christ alive, I hate these songs. There’s nothing new to them but the placement of words and the “sentiment”. When what these douchebags want is to get into vulnerable women's pants. Just because they’re rich and famous won’t get them a good relationship.

Here are some lyrics that prove why:
“And chances are
You’re sittin’ here in this bar
‘Cause he ain’t gonna treat you right
Well, it’s probably not my place
But I’m gonna say it anyway
‘Cause you look like
You haven’t felt the fire
Had a little fun
Hadn’t had a smile in a little while
Baby”

If you want to date some woman, fine. Just don’t go for women who’re already in a relationship to get a quick bang and not for experience. For all we know, the relationship is actually good and they just had their first fight. Or that she just doesn’t want a relationship at all. I don’t know; this shit is just scummy to me.


Also this beat rips off touches of true R&B for an ultimately unbearable track about ruining a relationship to please your dick. FUCK THIS SONG!

--

“Dirt on My Boots” - Jon Pardi



Jon Pardi is a working man. But he’s working hard to take his lady out on the town. That’s it.
That’s what this track is about...and I like it. It’s upbeat with a nice beat, it has a concept that I like and many people in its demo can agree with, and Don Pardo by a different name here has a voice that’s...not bad, but needs to be a little less...strange.

--

“Different for Girls” - Dierks Bentley ft. Elle King



I hate this.

It’s as if this song is making the argument that women act much different after a breakup than guys. Oh, wait. It actually is! Did Taylor Swift co-write this!?

“She don't throw any t-shirt on and walk to a bar
She don't text her friends and say, ‘I gotta get laid tonight.’
She don't say, ‘It's okay, I never loved him anyway.’
She don't scroll through her phone just looking for a Band-Aid”
BULL. SHIT. Bull & Shit.
There’s as big a chance that women act as manic and desperate as men after a breakup, and will do almost anything to get a rebound. Sure, men do it and it’s laughable at times, but women would (and in some cases, will) do the same.
Way to throw men under the bus, Mr. “Drunk on A Plane”!

“A guy gets drunk with his friends and he might hook up
Fast forward through the pain, pushing back when the tears come on
When the going gets tough, yeah, the guys they can just act tough
So tough”
And I’m not gonna lie; I’m not a guy who regularly goes to the club, let alone rebound the second I’m single again. So you would think I wouldn't know what they’re talking about. Except I do…and I’m not stupid enough to believe it.

Girls can do what guys can do.
Work dirty, have fun, burp, eat like an animal; hell, they can piss standing up too!
I’m sorry; getting too held up in this. Of course, they act somewhat different, yet all the same like men in the breakup-aftermath department.
This is stupid; it’s not that different when girls get hurt after a breakup from how guys act. Some act out openly; some take it calm and amicably. How people break up and deal with the effects isn’t literally the same behavior; it’s complex and multifaceted. And that this song says otherwise is a crock of bull.

“It's different for girls when their hearts get broke
They can't tape it back together with a whiskey and Coke
They don't take someone home and act like it's nothing
They can't just switch it off every time they feel something”
--Nah, it’s not different. Don’t act like girls are classy, mature and graceful than guys are. Some are, but guys are too. And there’s always people who act immature, graceless, sloppy, dumb and pathetic when they break up and look for some ass to motorboat only minutes later.

If you think that’s not true, you’re just as stupid as this song and the people who wrote it.

FUCK THIS SONG!

--

“H.O.L.Y.’ - Florida Georgia Line

Oh gosh, not this shit. Oop...sorry, Lord.



Just like I hate the concept of guys talking down to girls about why they’re better than the guy they’re dating, I also hate the concept of comparing true love to a drug addiction. It’s pretty much everywhere like air; Ke$ha did it famously, and this genre had a few songs about it, like this one from Zac Brown Band.

And now, the boys of FLA-GA Line are doing their own take. And it’s just as stupid.
And there’s this comparison to religion. Yeah, that’s what we need, comparing the love of your life to a baptism. Why?

I can understand the dudes’ love for their women, but it’s annoying to hear them compare it to drugs or religion. You know, like the million other songs that do it. Not really a new concept.
And much like an overdose can kill you, too much love can kill you too. Whether metaphorically or literally is beyond me. But it happens. It’s a cute song, I recognize, but it’s not exactly for me.

--

“Today” - Brad Paisley



So Brad Paisley made a song about celebrating the love of his life. That’s...alright. I...like this. The simple piano-and-guitar-based production really set the tone, Paisley’s accented vocals are really good and the lyrics aren’t shabby at all. Sure, they’re not as new as usual, but they’re fine.

“When I am sitting in traffic some afternoon
Or bored to death in some waiting room
I am gonna close my eyes and picture you
Today

You keep brushing that hair back out of your eyes
And it just keeps falling and so do I
I am feeling like the luckiest man alive
Today”

Ehhh...yeah, fine.

I enjoy this song, but I don’t love it.

--

And finally...

“Forever Country” - Artists of Then, Now and Forever



This song is a medley of three classics (“Take Me Home, Country Roads”, “On the Road Again” and the original “I Will Always Love You”. [Yep, there was a version made before Whitney Houston]) performed by a supergroup of popular acts and decades-long veterans of Country music. And this was just excellent.

Everyone was second-to-none in their vocals, even if their verses were literally over a second. And to see some of my favorite artists (Carrie Underwood, Miranda Lambert, Little Big Town, Kacey Musgraves, Lady Antebellum, Rascal Flatts, Reba McEntire, Willie Nelson and Dolly Parton) sing in this made me grin ear-to-ear. The production was tight, slick, smooth and beautiful, and the music video brought me close to tears. Shoutout to Joseph Kahn for making his third(!!) country music video so majestic and special.

The supertrack was produced by Shane McAnally in honor and celebration of the 50th anniversary of the Country Music Association’s CMA Awards. And for an awards ceremony like this, it’s well worth it.
Great job, everyone involved. You all deserve the praise.
And happy Gold Anniversary to the CMT Awards.

Well, that’s it for this special edition of Short/Long Music Review. I enjoyed it and I hope you did too. And I hope you’ll enjoy this year’s CMT Music Awards, hosted by Charles Esten (star of the network’s new crown jewel Nashville) and airing tomorrow at 8/7c on CMT.

I’ll be back next Saturday the 17th for the second special edition of SLMR based on the iHeartMusic Much Music Video Awards. See you then!

TT is for Toony Tuesday 2017: F is for Family | S1 is for Season One

H...is for Hi.
A is for Andrew.
TT is for Toony Tuesday,
and F is for Family.

Whoever said Family Guy was the crudest cartoon after South Park needs to check this out.

Welcome to 1973, where life is comforting, everyone knows your name, dinner time is family time, the TV is sanctuary, neighbors are your friends and you can curse around the kids, smoke in the house, offend anyone of any race, and smack your kid without fear of CFS. At least that’s what I assume, because this show has nothing nice or comforting about it.

Today, I’m talking about Netflix’s neato-est Original series, F if for Family.

And don’t worry if you haven’t heard of it before this...I haven’t either. Usually most Netflix shows get some nice advertising, mostly on social media, while others slip on by and are lucky to get word-of-mouth. For every House of Cards, Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt, Luke Cage and Daredevil; there’s a Stranger Things, Between, Lady Dynamite, Flaked and this show (at least in my experience).

Co-created by by comedian and star Bill Burr (and based on his childhood) and award-winning former The Simpsons writer/producer Michael Price, this series features the Murphy family, a seemingly normal suburban Pennsylvania family with less-than-normal behavior and language.

-Frank is the patriarch with the mouth of a sailor (ironically while being a Vietnam Veteran) and the patience of a bear, working as an airport baggage handler

-His wife Sue is the sweet, humbling matriarch with barely enough in her to keep the family together, and half of that to keep herself together.

-Their kids are all kinds of something:

--Eldest Kevin is a delinquent with more time for wanting sex and weed than for school.

--Middle son Bill is shy and timid, with the bad luck in the world to bear witness to crazy stuff.

--And youngest child/only daughter Maureen may seem like a sweet little girl, but under the surface of sweet is a smart little brat with no time for empathy for other people.

-Then there’s the family’s pet dog Major; cute, yet dopey with a love for people (specifically, humping their leg)

Other characters include:
-Vic, Frank’s wealthy, womanizing neighbor;

Rosie, his wisecracking best friend at Mohican Airways;

Bob Pogo, his morbidly obese boss;

At first,

This show is a mixed bag for me.

There were some parts I liked, and others I really didn’t like.

The bad:

At first, when you listen to this Frank Murphy speak, it’s quite a turn off. (It’s like Bill Burr tried voice acting the first minute he stepped into a studio) In fact, it’s quite a turn off for a lot of the characters speaking. This show has an obnoxious abundance of swearing. Seriously, not a single fuckin’ minute goes by without a character saying a curse word (and I mean any word, whether an easy one or a strong one). It’s clearly obvious that the producers are taking advantage of the show’s being a original on Netflix to use every one of them in the book...yet they’re abusing the power. It can get grating to walk through an episode hearing Frank, let alone any character, slip up every other minute.

Also, the vulgar humor. It’s not that it doesn’t sit well with me--I can handle it, it’s because it’s kinda weak most of the time--and it’s a lot. But there some jokes I laughed at and enjoyed. (and as time passed and I watched more and more, it got more funnier. So it’s no bad blood here.)

And the good:

If the show falters with its humor, it shines with this:

Throughout the first season, there is a huge story arc involving Frank when he gets a promotion at his workplace, the hub for the fictional Mohican Airlines. And before he puts his belongings on his desk, he suffers a blow-out--not only at work with his friends/co-workers, who begin a workers’ strike after he gets chummy with the company’s CEO (and is the unwilling face of of a TV special on common racism), but also at home--where his family unravels emotionally;

-his wife Susan is frustrated with her life as a housewife and wants to start work,

-his eldest son Kevin is a slacker and pothead flunking in school,

-younger son and middle child Bill is terrorized by a bully; is cruelly mocked at school, home and the neighborhood for being a wimp (or in this case a pussy); and sees and hears things a child shouldn’t see and hear (I will never look at my nuts the same way again. *did I just write that?*),

-and only daughter/youngest offspring Maureen is a bratty little shit who gets what she wants just because she’s daddy’s little princess to Frank.

I love this story arc, because it puts actual true drama into the show, and brought in conflicts that don’t just go away at the end of an episode--they stay and continue on through the rest of the season. And I so damn well enjoy it. This series exhibits some well-executed dramatic moments with the openly-crass, super-random comedy and could actually give some of Netflix’s actual drama originals a run for their money.

--There’s also some real good voice acting throughout. As the season progressed, I got more engrossed in the acting and it was more well-done. That’s a testament to the writing by it’s staff, led by co-creator Michael Price.

--The animation is really well done.

While the character movements sometimes gets on my nerves, the drawings and coloring's here are amazing. The colors and shades look amazing (especially for the time period) and the character designs are well-drawn. Everyone looks like they’re from the early 70s and show it too.

--The series has more favorite characters than I first thought.

=Frank--for being (well, trying to be) a great father to his kids and great husband to his wife while juggling work, hanging with friends, and dealing with bad people and things (his bosses, the strike, Vic [to him]), etc.)

=Vic--for being a delightful neighbor, an awesome womanizer we all wish to be, and his many one-liners.

“Yeah, you…’fucked the shit outta me’.”

Just an all-around hilarious character.

=Bill, for being a definitely relate able kid, with his tries to grow a spine being one of the best parts of the season.

=Rosie, for being the cool black friend we wish we had, and for his side-splitting wisecracks. One against his and Frank’s boss Bob Pogo is the best and will induce a migraine from so much laughing.

Random Thoughts:

-I’m so glad that Frank doesn’t beat his kids, but because of his quickness to anger and the fact that they have done some stupid things (especially Kevin), I would believe that he would do so. Thank God we have Sue to stop him.

-Bill is voiced by a woman.... (Just putting it out there. But she does a great job, and surprising to learn when you learn this.
-Bob Pogo is me if I didn’t have a better life...and had too much access to food stamps. Christ, that man looks (and is) fucking disgusting.

-The scene from Episode 5 (you know the one) will scar you like it scarred Bill. It’s funny too.

-Major is such an adorable dog. Even if he’s a dippy, dopey dog that gets busy humping your leg.

-This will never not be funny.

(considering he actually has a wife that’ll put up with him)

This series is absolutely hilarious (with a few touches of tear jerking) and definitely a much-watch. It’s on Netflix, so you’ll need an account.
(or you can go here; you don’t need one).

And it’s also worth a watch because it’s second season is coming up on May 30. (Yep, that soon) It’s ten(?) episodes and much more of a must-watch from here. I’ll do a review live soon after watching the season at the end of the month. I so can’t wait.

So..

This has been my review of Season One of F is for Family.

And this has been Toony Tuesday. Thanks for being here.

And I’ll see you next week. Until then…

May the good toons be yours…!

“Or I’ll put you through that fucking wall!”

Short/Long Song Review: "Fake Love"

Welcome to Short/Long Song Review.
Without introduction or interruption, let's get it started.

To listen to the song for the full SLSR experience, go here:
https://www.iamlmp.com/tracks/drake-fake-love/



Oh look. Drake's on his period...

AGAIN.

"I've been down so long, it look uuup to me/ (what?)
they look up to me/
I got fake people showing fake looove to me/
STRAIGHT UP TO MY FAAAAAAAAACE!! (x2)"

Dear Christ, this song is fucking annoying! From the start and throughout, Drake uses his ungodly monotonous "rapping" voice and greatly horrible singing voice to sing about the most bitchy, whiny, jokey and pathetic thing ever: having fake friends while rich.

Oh, poor Drake. He has friends who only use him for money and not be honest, personal and happy to him. Boo-fucking-hoo!!! It's like "No New Friends" Part 2; except Drake immediately forgot the stupid statement he made in that song and continued being a SunTrust location to his crummy comrades.
Dude, aren't you rich? Wouldn't you think that wealth causes people to flock to you as human ATM? Oh, and you thought being a rich, famous rapper would be a beacon for good BFFs.
And back to "they look up to me", of course they do; how else are they gonna look at you while they're sucking your dick trying to get into your wallet?

"Somethin' ain't right when we talkin' (x2)/
Look like you hidin' your problems,
Really you never was solid"
Oh so you're getting it just now??

"I can tell that love is fake/
I don't trust a word you say/
How you wanna click up after your mistakes?/
Look you in the face and it's just not the same"
Well, excuse me, Mulatto Mordecai. Riddle me this: If you knew something was wrong, why did you let them stay until it was too late?
"[...] tryna play it safe/
Vibe switch like night and day, I can see it like right away/
I came up, you changed up, I caught that whole play/
Since then, things never been the same"
Oh, so you thought they were friendly?
Look, Aubrey. I understand. (...no I don't.) If you see it right away, why didn't you say something right away? Or at least just stop being friends?? Because it's much easier just talking it out since you're the type of nigga who sings his feelings instead of just shooting him dead and getting it over with like every other rapper does.

"How can you click up after your mistakes?"
Your mistake? You were looking in a mirror when you said that right? Because they didn't didn't meet you. And it sounds like a strict stick-in-the-mud parent punishing their prodigy child for...being a child, while being lowkey jealous he could do so.
"You have done the ultimate disgrace to this family by disregarding your studies and practicing you music for...this trash ritual."
"But dad, I was only having fun with my friends."
"I don't care! Your friends are nothing to you! You are a . Go to your room and think about what you did!"
"Okay..." "[sniffles] ...fuck you."
...
"Fredrick, get me my paper!" "...fuck you."
...
"*sigh* Why couldn't I play with my friends...?"

"That's when they smile in my face/
Whole time they wanna take my place (x3)"
Who, Drake?!? who the hell would want to take your place!? I don't know how or why they would do that, when you're one of the biggest rappers on the fucking planet!! The Billboard stats prove it, the Spotify streams prove it, the fanbase proves it, and even you prove it!
"I'm the biggest man,
I said that before I knew I was" -
No one accept your...colleagues at Young Money can touch you. And no one can replace you even if you're featured in their songs. So, the fact that you're thinking this--let alone made a song out of it is really pathetic. Oh, and I'm sure no one wants to sound like a pussy when they're rapping about cash, sex, material possessions and stealing some another woman from a guy.

Not only is Drake's little confessional obnoxious and irritating as fuck, most lines are repetitive as fuck and really stupid.
Lines like this:
"No you can't son me, you won't never get to run me
Just when shit look out of reach, I reach back like one, three
Like one, three, yeah"
piss me off when I end up hearing this track.
What the fuck does "son me" mean?; you act like the father figure anyway, not Mr. Furley suspecting something's up in 4A.

And speaking of the video: yeah, I only played half of it, and it's still 3 1/2 minutes of my life taken away. If a girl--after making a damn scene of not forcing me to talk about my music when I just want to eat with her and talk something else--shoves cake in my face and pour wine on my head in public, I would straight-up smack the Sonic rings out of her.

"Fake Love" is a retarded song, and definitely one of the worst I've heard--from Drake and this year (so far or otherwise). Other than the beat--which admittedly amused me with the Hanna-Barbera sound effect in some parts reminding me of that one Ginuwine song we've all known, loved and/or fucked to, this is another ditty that dwindles my likeness towards Drake more and more.

Thanks for checking in.
I'll see you again soon.

Toony Tuesdayswords: Mighty Magiswords

Meet Prohyas and Vambre, two Warriors-for-hire longing for Adventure, Action, saving lives, ...and collecting Magiswords along the way.

It's Mighty Magiswords! Huzzah!

Since I already mentioned what the series is about, I'll get right to it. I really like this series. It's fun, fast, loose, and a little free flowing, yet tight, written well and very entertaining.

A few words into the review...

This edition's review will discuss both the shorts and the series proper (at least up to season 1).
So let's get to it.

When I first heard of the MM (this show, not my blog), I wasn't too interested. I thought, I had other series in the bank I'm either watching or neglecting after a few episodes. Why should I spend time on this one? It and has a great concept, nice appeal and looks good with its animation; but paired with other CN originals, it's not exactly "must-see TV". But I could binge it to give it some interest one time." And...I was right. But when I decided to take a look, I was well intrigued by what I saw. Two medieval characters fighting crime and saving the day, and collecting powerful.

This series is like...Pokémon...meets... . At least I think so.

There are some pluses and minuses I have with Magiswords:
Pluses
The concept (about a brother-and-sister warrior duo saving the day with magical swords) isn't new, but is still unique--well, specifically the swords aspect. The swords themselves (with their different names and aspects) are an imaginative and worthwhile element of the series and helps make it perfectly quirky, enjoyable and fun to watch.

Speaking of..
The characters are also quirky and fun to watch. Prohyas and Vambre are a really good Warrior team, and carry the Sibling Tropes well. Individually, they're awesome to watch.

-Prohyas has an infectious amount of energy, an insane amount of craftiness, a high amount of goofiness and heart, and great amount of love for Warrior-ing to his character and voice. His attacks are awesome, his hair and sideburns are badass; and by golly, I love his voice. Creator Kyle Carroza puts such great passion and delivery into his character's voice and make this series entertaining from this alone.
-Vambre--the opposite of Prohyas--is the serious, stern, often on-the-attack (and often kickass) voice of reason...with a policy of not wearing pants; but even she can get a little goofy and inattentive at times. Her pratfalls are hilarious.
-Grup is the most adorable little dragon this side of animated television. He may be klutzy and goofy, but he can--and will--be insanely strong and violent when the situation calls for it. He's also a great cook; especially with sandwiches.
-Ralphio owns a shop specific for selling Magiswords. He's also a greasy, greedy skinflint; and is entertaining for it.

It's fun. After a few episodes, I fell in like with this series for reasons explained.

It gets interesting...

Minuses
-Vambre's Voice
Don't get me wrong; Grey DeLisle Griffin is an acting legend, but her name alone is enough to drive big interest for a series she's in. And her body of work is magnificent. But with this one...I doth cannot. Well, half of the time. For the role Vambre, DeLisle dons a British accent. And if you've heard her voice before (I mean, c'mon, who hasn't?), you can tell it's her feigning a different accent. It's not bad; it's just not my tea not at times. Sometimes, I can enjoy it. Other times, I can't stand it. It's definitely not enough to drive me away (not even over in the slightest), but it's still pretty blase.
-The Pacing...It's a little Fast
The main gripe I have with this series is it's pacing. While watching the shorts, the plot and dialogue just breeze on through. It's like literally everyone who works on this ate half a bag of sugar before working on the episode, It feels like I'm not watching a three+-minute short, it feels like I'm watching a one+-minute short. And the actual series is little better; while it's ten times the length, it still feels like literally half of it. The only time you realize the whole thing is done is when you look at the timeline(?). While everything else is great and I can follow the plot and ex, I wish the pacing would cut down, just a little. I would enjoy it much more then.

And now to pad out this edition a little more, here's a random bit where I mash Prohyas' and Vambre's names with random other names. It took me as long as you thought it would.
Alex Prohyas
Nicki Vamaj
Probias (a mash-up of Prohyas and Tobias)
Vipre (with Vipra from Bravestarr)
Prohyagra (a mash-up with a...certain pill)
Lambre
Vambrire
Frodohyas

And that's it. Not that hard.

That's my review my review of Mighty Magiswords.
And this has been Toony Tuesday.  I'll see you next week.
Until then, I'm Andrew and May the good toons be yours!

Jimmy Kimmel's Heart-wrenching Yet Heartwarming Plea for Healthcare | Serious Post

Jimmy Kimmel got more human this week.
And I totally respect him for it.

Toony Tuesday Go!: Teen Titans Go! - Season One

Teen Titans Go!. (sigh.)

I Have Autism: A Post for Autism Awareness

I'm not posting this to gain attention or act like a smarmy dick to others. I definitely don't want this to be clickbait. I'm posting this to help bring awareness to Autism and the other disorders in the Autism spectrum during this, the last day of Autism Awareness Month. This may sound like it's a bad thing, but I'm not trying to make it so. So here we go.

I have Asperger's Syndrome.

(Yep. I guess you can tell because of how I write on this blog over the years.)

I had barely any idea when I was a kid, but when I learned I had the certain disorder when I was 18 (and in high school), I was confused. I thought I was a normal kid, I thought I was just acting fine, and I thought I was living the life I (thought I) was supposed to be. I was, but in a ways different from most kids. But when I learned, I was... kinda sad, to be honest. And scared too; from what most people with mental disorders were weird and dippy (well, mostly from misleading and offensive content on TV). Boy was I wrong.

Life with Asperger's was never easy.
I had the behavior of an easily-annoyed, sometimes-dickheaded dolt. I barely recognize other people's emotions, let alone put them on the same level as mine. I put myself and my needs among others and sometimes, I feel like I'm on top over others. I really didn't get why, and most of the time, I didn't care.

School life was hell. I could barely make friends, even in elementary school. And the ones I did manage to have (while good) were hard to maintain with my behavior. And if I could get through the day without being bullied or disappointed in either myself or some random thing that had nothing to do with anyone else, that was a freaking miracle. Usually, schoolwork and teachers were my main priorities; I actually liked both a lot and felt proud of how hard-working I was. I also couldn't help but snoop around the halls too. At least it's better a time to do that than getting bullied, that's for sure.

And home life wasn't any better. Most days, it was barely better.
I was an asshole to my family. Some things I say to any member would get me a one-way ticket to Punishment-ville. Spankings, time-out, no TV, backtalk with a condescending tone--I had it all. Sometimes, for reasons I didn't even deserve. When I was a kid, I blamed my parents (especially my mom) for the bad things I did and said (which compared to other kids, to think of it, wasn't really that bad), but today, it's mine (And my mom's), mostly because I was super smart (in places) and was supposed to know better even at a young age, I still did and said things that either annoyed or infuriated everyone (especially mother). She did her best, and I feel sorry for her to put up with me all these years. Despite this, she still treated me like I was Dennis the Menace to the near max and dealt with me accordingly. Oh well. That's the half of my home-life.

On good days, I mostly preferred being alone to do things like read a book or watch TV among others. Sometimes my words were more calm, happy and sensible. And when I do want to spend time with family members, the activity either doesn't last long or I wish it lasted longer- depending on my likeness towards the activity. When I do these things, I feel much more calm, happy and at ease, and I feel much better with family, to the point where I'd love to be with them. And there are days at school where I'm great around my friends and teachers. Yep it seems like work and occasional play isn't the only things I was good at on good days.

So yeah; just because I had Asperger's Syndrome, that doesn't mean it's truly a bad thing. Yeah, my life wasn't like Silver Spoons or anything; a little like Good Times but in a higher class. But I was still as normal as the next guy. I knew that Asperger's would swallow me up in a bad way or destroy my life. Fortunately, I've gotten better as I've gotten older; I did get help, and since then I'm on better terms with my family, I've got awesome and supportive friends on social media, I finally got the strength and support to go out and have fun every once in a while, I have this little blog here I built from the ground up that I really enjoy--and am grateful for its success worldwide (seriously) and with my readers alongside; and at the end of the day, I wouldn't have it any other way. Were there times I wish I was normal (meaning without Asperger's Syndrome)? Yes. But today, I'm so in content with my disorder that my wishes are back in the past. I'm as normal as normal can be, and I don't mind it at all.

So, in conclusion, having Autism or something on the spectrum is not truly a bad thing, or isn't going to ruin your life, or will change everything. It's just something you're born with and something you can (and will) be fine with.

Bill O'Reilly is GONE: Longtime Fox News Host Fired After 21 Years | Good Riddance

Looks like his vacation has extended.

Ladies and gentlemen, it has happened. After 21 years of twisted, pompous, condescending, foot-in-mouth, head-in-ass commentary and demeanor on The O'Reilly Factor, Bill O'Reilly is out of his top hosting job at Fox News Channel. The network/company announced it has severed ties with O'Reilly after 2 decades of service to the company. In fact, he one one of the network's first on-air hosts.

I never liked him or his show or his commentary.  As said above, his pompous, condescending words are like the venom of a viper: it's dangerous and possibly lethal to anyone who comes across it, whether a guest or viewer.
But even then, you have to admit, you really couldn't have seen this coming.
O'Reilly is the network's biggest star. #1 show, millions of viewers and heavy ad revenue. You would think that he'd still be at his throne. Even after the current sexual harassment he's fighting against, I would think he'd still be there. Nope.

Apparently, masturbating to the sound of a woman's voice, destroying careers of female colleagues for not having sex with him and leering at a Black clerical worker (plus calling her "Hot Chocolate"--Euuuugggh) isn't enough to terminate O'Reilly until it was too late. That is until he announced he would take "year-long planned" vacation while the scandal continued. And even then, it was still a weird thing to think about.
Oh well.

Anyway, GOOD. FUCKING. RIDDANCE.
I'm just SOOOO happy he's gone. He may have never touched my life (and I'll count my blessings for the fact he's never touched me physically in person), but I can't stand him or his show, so I'm excited to see him get his deserved comeuppance. I don't care where Fox News goes from here; they're most definitely gonna replace him with any other face-in-the-crowd host who is just the same person with the same talent of reading a teleprompter and what some producer wrote about the day's news and talking points (who will be the even worse Tucker Carlson). Just much younger and much (possibly) prettier than O'Wife-Beater. Yeah, I went there.

I'm ending this post with his most famous video clip ever: his random outburst on his other well-known show Inside Edition. Enjoy!

Toony-Tuesday!: Future-Worm!

A series about a talking heroic invertebrate with a beard of steel and and for days? Sign me up!

Hey everyone, and welcome to Toony Tuesday. Today I review Disney XD's Future-Worm!. Yes, there are other series on the network other than Gravity Falls, Star vs. The Forces of Evil, Penn Zero and (in a much lesser extent) Wander Over Yonder and Randy Cunningham; and this was one of them. Too bad it got cancelled after one season and for this, for the first time ever, I'm combining two segments of this blog to review it. Welcome to One Season Wonder...on Toony Tuesday.

-
I've never watched this series until I heard the announcement that it got cancelled. And even then, I held a small reservation toward it, cause I had fears I'd get into a show I'd probably (inherently) hate and regret watching in the first place. Fortunately, that did not happen. I actually liked and enjoyed it. It's super goofy and even ridiculous at times, but it's still a tight, coherent, pretty-well-written and coolly-animated cartoon.

The two main characters have a bit of Adorkabilty going on. Danny is a brilliant kid who is a great young scientist; his wide-eyed optimism, excited behavior and friendship with Fyootch is adorable to the max. Future-Worm is an ordinary worm that becomes a strong, powerful worm. His look, voice, actions and goofiness scream 80s action films. And I love that. There friendship is one of the more unexpected out-of-left-field kinships in Animated TV, but one I ended up enjoying.
PLUS their adventures are of the same, but I enjoyed the heck out of them too.

One of my favorite supporting characters of the series is Danny's dad Doug. His moments based off his quirks and fears are hilarious. See "How to Beat a Cold...with Fists!" where he has to face his fear with germs to take care of his sick son, while Danny wants to get rid of it to go to a TV convention. (In fact the whole episode is hilarious)

Also a favorite is Bug, the Dynamic Duo's purple-haired, winged friend who adorable and Lockhart at the same time. Her acquaintance and assistance on their adventures makes them more amazing.

Why It's a Wonder:
Besides being a Disney XD series not exactly any of the higher-rated originals mentioned above, it isn't exactly memorable, which explains the early cancellation. But it held it's own, and is really fun to watch if you've taken the time.

I like this series a lot. It's weird, quirky and a lot of fun. Even though there's only on season, it's really worth a binge if you'd like. I hope you enjoy it.

This has been my review of Future-Worm!
And this has been Toony-Tuesday! ...oops, sorry, excuse me. One Season Wonder...on Toony-Tuesday!

I'm sure there will be a lot of more reviews of one-season animated shows under this crossover segment as years pass. I think this would be a great idea, and I hope you guys enjoy much more from this

Toony T(en)sday: Ben 10 (2016 Reboot)

Currently, Tara Strong is reprising her voice role in the reboots of  two awesome and beloved cartoons. One of them is awful as all crap. The other? Well, let's say that if CN didn't replace her for the new Powerpuff Girls, she should've (IMO) fired her agent.

Let's also say the Ben 10 franchise is Cartoon Network's prostitute right now. A full decade after the original series' premiere, there's been four more series that, while are varying degrees of good (at best), were pretty much there to make toys and make the CN channels across the globe money. While that makes some sense with me, I can see why a lot of people are annoyed with this.

And now, Ben and his magical watch of aliens are back with a new series that starts all over again. Ben being the big brat, Gwen the gigantic mouthy know-it-all, and Max the cool old grandpa who has to deal with it all. Oh yeah and the watch that helped make the series so memorable.

So let's get to my thoughts on the new Ben 10.

It's...not great, but not bad either.

But lemme get into the bad stuff:

-The fact that this series was a go.
When the fourth Ben 10 series Omniverse aired back in 2012, I thought this would be the last. I liked it a lot, but other people hated it. For both me and those people (in our ways), it was the animation, the many references to the original, having 10-year-old Ben share the spotlight with 16-year-old Ben (and having both even more of an annoying brat), the fluctuating writing quality and some changes to the characters. While I didn't mind some of the changes that much (I wasn't a savant like others), I can understand why a lot of other people didn't. (PLUS, I love Rook (He's really awesome) so there's that).
-I can't stand Gwen. Like in the original, she can nag like Wanda, and her voice is irritating. I have to get used to this if I gotta keep watching. Also, she has a new voice actor . I don't mind that a lot, as long as Gwen doesn't annoy me with either her dialogue or her actions.

But there were some things about the New Ben 10 I did like.

-Max is the same old cool badass of a grandpa that we knew and loved in the original. Sure, he has a new voice () but I still really enjoyed seeing him and being the badass grandpa he has been throughout the franchise.
-Some of our favorite Aliens are back!

They're all still here, they look great (IMO) and they're still awesome at kicking butt.
-I don't mind the animation here. It looks really good, it's fleshed out, and drawn very well (especially the Aliens). The movements are pretty fluid and the colors are nicely diverse. I enjoy what I see from this show.
-The writing does follow up with other series, but is so-so. I don't expect it to be better at least until later in Season One. Although, since it's more for the Teen Titans Go! and new Powerpuff Girls crowd (and since they're all reboots mind you), I'm not surprised here.

I...like this. It's not great, but then again, Ben 10 hasn't been great since at least Alien Force (and my opinion is it's not that great later in it's run), so we'll see where this goes. It's real fun to watch, isn't  much of a Timekiller show, and is worth it if you still love the Ben 10 franchise enough to give this a chance. I suggest this series, and if you don't, that's fine. After Omniverse, there's nothing to trust anymore.

This has been my review of the New Ben 10.
This has been Toony Tuesday.
See you in May and May the good toons be yours...! (that is unless they're reboots on Cartoon Network, then you can not touch with a 20-foot titanium pole if you want.)

Lord of the Fools: CNN Commentator Calls Trump "The MLK of Healthcare"

Look at this fucking guy.
This is Jeffery Lord, and I would hope we would forget about him the second this week ends (I would bet on it), but I don't think we would after this.
The CNN commentator appeared on New Day last Friday to discuss President Trump's continuing fallacy of changing or improving American healthcare. His comment makes me furious while committing a hundred facepalms.

First off, shout out to Symone Sanders for keeping calm while delivering a great response to Lord's dumb statement. Her reaction "Oh Jeffery...Jeffery" probably could be a meme sometime soon.

I don't have to say anything, and this comment is already so wrong on so many levels.
But I'll say something anyway.

Martin Luther King Jr., a civil rights icon, fought his entire adult life to destroy segregation and help create racial integration across the United States. He fought (sometimes literally, blood sweat and tears) to make sure his people would walk among other races for generations after his. His 1968 assassination (among the senseless deaths of others) didn't stop the the fight, but accelerated it.

Donald Trump is a simple-minded asswipe who got everything he wanted on a silver platter since childhood and isn't very good at whatever he assumes is a job. The one things he fought were draft enlistment, women, sexual assault claims, bankruptcy, reality and our democracy. And in most of those cases, he sadly won. And in this case of that "commentary", Trump is currently secretly ripping apart the Affordable Care Act to please the rich white and coony donors whose assets he continues to kiss after their help got him the Oval Office. That's after his death kneel of a healthcare failed to get leeway from Democrats AND other Republicans (thank God).

Everything that spewed out of this dickheaded creature's mouth stunned me.
To say this bonehead said this comment is foolish enough. Even if Lord did compare Trump to MLK (and yes, he really didn't), he really hit paydirt comparing the "strategy" of one of the most important and iconic heroic figures of our lifetimes with one of the laziest, dumbest, foolish, greediest, most disgusting, disgraceful, pathetic and unattractive human beings ever. Saying that makes me (and a lot of people) want to find him and slap him across the face for attempting to get away with such a fucking statement.
But somehow it got worse when he appeared on two more CNN programs that same day, he seemed to dig deeper and deeper and deeper until he reached the Earth's core.
He appeared on Anderson Cooper 360

and CNN Tonight with Don Lemon,

and said nothing to make even more sense. Even the words he said about his childhood sounded questionable. And it takes a lot of talent to get Don freaking Lemon, one of the most annoying and coon-erific people I've ever known about, to say something actually right and sensible.
He even almost said "goddamn" in his statement; that's how furious and open he was. And I loved it.

Anyway, this man should not be on TV anymore. CNN should not keep him on as an on-air commentator after this stupid waste of audio video and time. In fact, CNN should stop hiring really stupid people on its shows anymore to give them a worldwide platform to spew racist, homophobic or anything-phobic bullshit (or just plain head-scratching stupidity)! I don't care if it gets Jeff Zucker's baby high ratings; it's a disgusting disgrace to true journalism and the viewers who still want it (and no, not the people whining their asses off about how mainstream media is all biased towards one party; the people who just want the news and only the news [that's why CBS News is still held in high regard]) and a pathetic regression of the credibility it had in the 80s, 90s, and early 2000s. I'm tired of seeing idiots like Jeffery Lord saying dumb crap like what he said and later seeing it was on CNN. I ignore it on Fox News (and sometimes MSNBC) with ease, so I can do the same with CNN. Can we please go a day without more dangerous commentary than reports about Dangerous Trump causing danger to his own presided union or danger from other countries or his danger to other countries...or news about a giraffe who just gave birth because we Americans have small attention spans the size of Timmy Turner? ...or Ted Turner?

Oh'WHY-lly Part II: Dude Can't Keep It In His Pants, Goes to His Wallet Instead | Serious Post

I swear I thought this Bill O'Reilly shit couldn't get any worse.
But then again, I got a lot of crap wrong over the years, so what do I know?

So, O'Reilly continues to be the pompous, crotchety, self-indulgent, holier-than-thou, lame-ass douchebag he thinks he isn't with yet another scandal with him as the major focus. And this time, it's clear he just cannot keep his old, wrinkly, close-to-arthritis hands to himself. Just ask his ex-wife.

The Fox News--I mean, Faux Noise--host has more than allegedly groped and sexually assaulted and harassed three female colleagues while in the workplace.  All have since reached suing cases against him and are now in court.

It's got to the point where someone (the most unexpectedly) who come to his corner and defended him. That's right; President Donald "No-one Had More Respect for Women" Trump, has defended O'Wife-Beater. But you know what they say--"Sexual Offenders and Violators against Women Gotta Stick Together"! Here is what he had to say about the allegations:

Oh Christ; just choke on a KFC chicken bone already,                    lying, cheating, Nickelodeon-logo-looking fuckface!

Fortunately on the other side of this unwanted spectrum, O'Wife-Beater's newest rival California Representative Maxine Waters must've been giddy as fuck at the news, making her response  crystal clear on MSNBC. And I couldn't agree more.

"Bill O'Reilly needs to go to jail." —Maxine Waters on @allinwithchris https://t.co/0Ny3roU0TK pic.twitter.com/qd5SBHoQL7

— Kyle Griffin (@kylegriffin1) April 6, 2017

He needs to go to prison, no doubt. If a white man in any smaller position of power was caught, he would've been in the slammer (while for a little while at least). And no doubt, a black man of any space wouldn't see daylight any time soon.
After that comment O'WB made about her hair being a "James Brown wig", I wouldn't be surprised if she laughed so hard in private.

And speaking of advertisers, let's talk a bit about them.
THIRTY companies have removed their money from The O'Reilly Factor so far. It's astonishing to hear and see this, and a breathtaking revelation as well. It shows that, despite their own controversies and questionable ethics where they are, they aren't okay with other people doing it, and will cut and run almost immediately. I laugh hard when I see this, and I feel good seeing a man like O'WB get what he truly deserves.

Seriously, I need to get this off my chest.
Last year, the top Fox News face to get his decrepit ogre-looking ass into the horrible decades old tradition of white men molesting younger women to get them a job was Roger Ailes. He did this for decades since his first big job at The Mike Douglas Show (a show he left in 1968). With the many women that came forward, with the big names being Gretchen Carlson and Megyn Kelly of Faux itself, he had to go. Unfortunately, instead of being fired, he left with a heap of cash as big as he is and the bit of respect and credibility as small as his penis (even with Viagra...assumedly). Even with the many accusations that come up, he was still there, defended hard by the network he built and the people he either hired or forced to suck the near-nonexistent thing between his legs; with some of them even taking a clause in their contracts to leave after he does. The fact that this creature is still living the high life with the cold-hard cash makes me furious! And the fact that we're in Round 2 with O'Wife-Beater and this all might happen again might make me suffer a stroke from the rage I'm exhibiting.

It's such a goddamn shame that the women who suffered sexual, verbal and mental abuse from these ordeals got off with a swift kick out the door and many insane Ailesment and O'Wife-Beater fans who cannot see the truth in front of them if hit them like a slap to the face or a body down the stairs, and had to find other jobs (if they could find any; Megyn and Gretchen are lucky). Meanwhile, these two relatives of The Crypt Keeper kept their jobs despite the ever-increasing odds against them and the fact that no one outside the die-hard Faux Noise fapp-hards likes them, and continued to creep over other defenseless younger women whose dream it was to become respected broadcast journalists and yet end up at Fox News with outfits more revealing and tighter than Kat Dennings' and Beth Behrs' (and even Jennifer Coolidge's) costumes on 2 Broke Girls and legs widely exposed behind excuses for desks. I want to see women anchors by their talent, not their looks. But apparently, preverbal cock holding cowards like Ailes see it the other way around.

(As I write this, I felt emotional, because I realize for decades women are in a disgusting cycle of fighting hard against even more disgusting and despicable chauvinistic men to get even half the footing they have to get a job in the field. I've heard many stories of women opening up about shit like this and maintaining their sanity to continue working and get where they are, and that's including women who don't even have an iota of talent (yes, that includes Princess of Pathetic, Tomi Lahren). It started with Barbara Walters, who carried all who came after her on her shoulders, and it still continues today. And the worst part is, women get thrown under the bus, while men stand there eyes wide open and laugh when still rising to the top? Not all men are like this (or course), but these know who they are. Why can't we have a career field where women and men respect each other for what they had--talent, wonder, fearlessness and boldness to the field--and not act so immaturely condescending to one another--especially men to women? It's disgusting to see this, and makes me ashamed to be a man. And for those of you who take this lightly and brush it all of as women problem, you are something like them. Fuck you.)

I think I've had enough to say in one go.
I hope the sexual assault allegations go to court and O'WIFE-BEATER gets exposed as the old fapper horny creepo he truly is and that his show gets cancelled and he gets fired from Faux Noise sooner than Ashton Kutcher out of the cannon in that commercial from Nikon, which I assume is one of the companies that dropped out of sponsorship. I was too excitable to notice.

Even more hopeful? That Sean Hannity is next.

Live for a Photo Shoot: Pepsi's Retarded Kendall Jenner Ad Pulled after Backlash

What the fuck, Pepsi?!? What the fuck?! Why did you do this??
A commercial...with Kendall Jenner...AT A BLACK LIVES MATTER RALLY??

Look at this! ...if you want to.

Toony Tuesday Turnaround: Scaredy Squirrel

If squirrels could talk, even they would hate this crap.

Oh'WHY-lly: Bill O'Reilly Compares Rep. Maxine Waters' Hair to A "James Brown wig"... Let's Make Fun of Him.

To women in politics everywhere:
If Bill O'Reilly makes a disparaging comment about your looks,
then you've done honorably.

The Fox News host did just that last Tuesday, with his victim being California Representative Maxine Waters. On Fox and Friends, this was his comment:

First off (to get this out of the way), James Brown did not just get buried. He died on Christmas Day 2006 -- over ten years ago! He's been in a hole for over a decade. So on that fact alone, you're wrong.

And now to the main comment:
That was stupid and pathetic. In a racist sense, and a sexist sense.

She worked hard to throughout American Government to get where she is today, and to get marked down by O'Reilly with that one comment, that must've hurt her. Fortunately, it didn't. Later that week, she talked with MSNBC's Chris Hayes, and became a living example of Michelle Obama's famous quote "When they go low, we go high".

Ms. Waters is (not to sound like a kiss-ass) a fantastic Representative and an all-around wonderful woman, and is very lovely. She's done much more in her role to make change than O'Reilly on a bad day, and has a powerful voice (both literally and in our government). To see someone well-known (let alone a high-profile host on Fox friggin' News) instead make fun of her looks on live national television, is not only a shot to their already-dwindling credibility (as if they still had any) but also a pathetic showing to everyone who had a part (even the cameramen and producers). And it's like he's making it to be a compliment.

He does apologize later that night on The O'Reilly Factor--well, actually, half-apologize, but it's too late. The damage was done. And if he thought a simple "I apologize" or "I'm sorry" will cover everything or wipe it all away, he is as wrong as the Commentaries he gives on The Factor. It's still around and will be yet another part of Faux Noise's disastrous history of faux pas's since becoming the Conservative News network since 2002.

It's quite hilarious (though unintentionally) that O'Reilly wants to make fun of Ms. Waters' hair, because he barely has any his own damn self. What he has on his head might as well be a fuzzy moldy slice of lettuce. Or that his skin just grew from a major deformation and that he's telling us it's hair.
Then there's the sexual assault complaints lodged against him last year, which he settled out of court. Yeah, that shows him as a kind, intelligent, upstanding broadcaster.
And that's to say nothing times of beating his wife--sometimes in front of his kids (ohh...uhh, allegedly), and that his kids want nothing to do with him since then (umm...also allegedly).

I will say the only person who had any sense and compassion throughout the video was Ainsley Earhardt, who said that she thinks Ms. Waters is an attractive woman and that her looks shouldn't matter when being a female politician (it makes a lot of sense as we have a lot of old, doddering men severing their states). I will give her a lot of credit for that.

As for Steve Doocy and Brian Killmeade, Fox News' resident in-the-face Taran Killam and Bobby Moynihan impersonators (my apologies to them for the association), they can go fuck themselves for laughing along and agreeing with Bill-O during a time when Ms. Waters' words make so much sense in this country today, and that we need a time more than ever to act together and stop the senseless stupidity in the Trump Administration.

And as for Bill O'Wife-Beater...fuck you.
Fuck your show, fuck your No-Spin-Zone, fuck your Talking Points Commentary, fuck your voice, fuck your face, fuck your excuse for hair, fuck your suits, fuck your shoes, fuck your socks (possibly with the garters on them), fuck your wedding life, fuck your leisure life, fuck your personal life, fuck your personality, fuck your presence, fuck your meaning in life and fuck your actions toward your family.
You are a disgrace to us all, and when you die, I (and a lot of people) will not mourn.

Good. Riddance.