Wednesday, February 04, 2015

The Worst Super Bowl XLIX Ads

Aahh, the Super Bowl, the biggest game, not only in football, but also of sports. Everyone tunes in every year to see the best teams in the league face off in an epic match to win a trophy and some rings.
But to some, the best part of the Bowl are the commercials; The small parts in the breaks between the quarters in which companies (food, automobile, mobile, insurance, ect.) shell out a lot of money to make funny ads to give people interest in their products. The more expensive, the more grand. But in this case, the grandiose and humor won't excuse how bad they are.
I present to you my choices for the Worst Ads of Super Bowl XLIX.

But first, here are a few Honorable Mentions:
McDonald's--"Pay with Lovin""
The reason it's here is because of the implications and well-aware implications that came from the ad. You see, for this month only, the company is letting employees randomly choose customers for something special: instead of paying for their order, they are chosen to pay by doing a task that includes love:

But many people took this another way. Instead of love and hugs, they put out sex and heart failure.








Yeah, if this campaign ever works out McDonald's, be gratful all that money you generated will overcome the mock ads your rivals will produce.

Squarespace--"Om/Creeping--Dreaming with Jeff"
Normally women dreaming of Jeff Bridges in their bedrooms is a perfect lullaby. But Jeff Bridges in your bedroom singing a monotone lullaby in real life is weird. And a website that does this from your computer (which is real mind you, not something you can make using the Squarespace software) is straight up creepy.

Jeep--"Beautiful Lands"
This would seem like a beautiful commercial showing off how awesome and proud Earth is, until you notice it's one for a car company.

It's like it's saying "If you want to travel this beautiful, proud, spacious and amazing world, get a Jeep." Yeah, sums it up quite nicely. Also, how the hell can you travel to other countries when this can barely travel from state to state?

Mophie--"All-Powerless"

Yeah, this is stupid. I mean--how can you watch TV when the world is ending?? Dumb priest.

And now let's get to my picks of the SBAs I just hated. Not because they're terrible as a whole, but because there's a certain element that makes them terrible in my eyes.
5) Carl's Jr.--"Au Naturel"
Now, I've said I'm a dog before on this site, but if this ad is of any indication, I am not that kind of dog.

You know Carl's Jr. is know for its hot and sexy ads, and I'll give them some credit for being bold to sell its products, but since the concept has been used over and over for profit to diminishing returns (and because this area are no locations in Philly [the closest from here is near Toronto, Ontario, Canada]), it just ends up lazy. It's like they're saying "I think we're out of ideas, so let's make an ad about a model walking naked! Sort of.". And yeah, this is what we have.
And it shows men are still horny pricks.

4) TurboTax--"(NOT)Boston Tea Party/Alright Then"
I don't know what to say about this: It's a reenactment of the Boston Tea Party...and then it's...What is this?

It's not "not funny" because it's offensive, it's "not funny" because there's nothing to laugh at. The tone just doesn't feel right. All we see is people stopping one of the most infamous moments in history all because of a simple thing, say "Alright then", and move on with their lives. I just don't find it that funny.

3) Doritos--"When Pigs Fly"
You know how this goes: Kid sees Doritos. Jerkass adult male eats some. Kid hatches scheme. Adult is gullible enough to believe it. Kid gets Doritos. The whole damn concept is used over and over for its SBAs (Super Bowl Ads).
But it's on the list for the same old concept being used to death by the company to diminishing returns. Hell, their last commercial was my pick for the best SBA because it was funny and creative. Now it's like they're barely trying anymore.

Also, didn't he get the bag yesterday; wouldn't make sense to save the bag to the next day. And it's not a bad thing to give the boy a couple chips; he'll leave you alone straight after. Also, kid, can't you buy your own bag?? It's a waste of time to build a dirigible that could've potentially killed a pig to prove how much you desperately want a bag of unhealthy, pasteurized chips you could've easily bought at the convenience store.
Oh yeah, and another thing, it's stupid.

2) T-Mobile--"More Kim"
T-Mobile, this is the reason I'm almost dropping you. It's good that Kim is aware of how narcissistic she is to make a joke, but who cares?



1) Nationwide--"Boy Can't Grow/Make Safe Happen"
You already KNOW why it's #1.

This one...just...scarred everyone. Hard.

I mean, what a twist. It wasn't that sweet at all, but to see it happen at the end? *shiver* I would've appreciated it more if the revelation happened at the beginning. This would lead to a few memes throughout the night, all of them funny
and tweets too.






So yeah, while commercials were good to me, the companies won't care; they'll just rake in the money they're getting from it and they do this again next Super Bowl. And I'll have another bunch of ads to despise.
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