Saturday, February 14, 2015

Special SLMR: Rude (As Performed by the KIDZ BOP Kids)

Yeah...



"Saturday Morning, jumped out of bed, and put on my best suit
Got on my bike and raced like a jet, all the way to you
"
Whoa, whoa, whoa, kid! Slow your roll. You are too young to marry her. The best you can do is ride your bike to the arcade for a game of Hang-on and Candy Crush and Plants Vs. Zombies: The Last Stand.
"Knocked on your door with heart in my hand/To ask you a question
'Cause I know that you're an old fashioned man (yeah yeah)
"
Okay, guys; you know how this goes. The guy goes to the man's door, asks for his blessing to take his daughter's hand in marriage. He says no, the guy gets rejected, and starts whining and crying about the dad being "rude", when we all know, that it's him that's rude.
Why we're here though is because Kidz Bop has made a version of this song. The lyrics are changed to fit the concept of kids singing it as clean as possible (with Car changed to Bike, because kids can't drive). But the huge problem here is, that the song here is about a guy asking a father for his daughter to marry him. So there will be implications from this cover...as in a KID asking the dad to marry his YOUNG daughter!
"I hate to do this, you leave no choice
Can't live without her
"
Oh, you're standing up to him, huh?! Look at you acting all manly!
And by the way, there's no way she can live without you; the things she can't live without are her cellphone, her friends and a poster of One Direction. And you can't live without your bike, your boys, and playing video games on that Xbox One you got last Christmas.
Love me or hate me we will be boys
Standing at that altar

The only one who really fits the name "boy" is you!! You're too young to get married!!
"He said, 'You'll never get your blessing till the day I fly'"
Fly? Yeah that doesn't even make sense.

You know what? Screw the fact that it's Kidz Bop singing cover versions of popular songs for cheap-ass parents to buy for their kids with odd, questionable behavior to listen. It's songs like this that give the franchise backlash for taking songs like I'm Real, Toxic, Born This Way and Fancy and scrubbing them clean and turning them into cutesy, sugary, teenybopper songs made by kids, for kids. Give them horrid implications of KIDS doing disgusting things like have sex, realize they're gay and getting married! God this is sick.

For all intents and purposes, it works for money, but fails for morals. Kidz Bop, I won't say you suck hard, but I will say this: WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU??

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