Hey, everyone.
Welcome to my review of the 28th Annual Kids' Choice Awards, taking place for the first time at the legendary Fantastic, Fabulous, Forever Famous (and Formerly-known-as Great Western) Forum in Inglewood, CA. This years' show is hosted by Nick Jonas, the artist who released a song about being angry that your girlfriend is hot is in a movie this year although it's clearly not for kids. It was a really good show, and I really enjoyed it. You've read posts on my social media pages and have been eagerly awaiting my review, so here some of my thoughts on the biggest awards show in the world. You know, for kids!
It started with a flyover shot of the arena with a video of stars saying the network's name over and over. That was really annoying.
Host Nick Jonas performed his singles "Chains" and "Jealous". I liked "Chains" more because Nick didn't use a high-pitch singing voice. On to "Jealous" though, which was worse, Nick's voice was irritating. And the higher pitch was irritating. All in all, it was pretty good, and a perfect start to the show and his hosting.
After his performance, Jonas went into his monologue, which had him asking the female announcer to repeat "Ladies and Gentlemen, the host of the Kids Choice Awards, Nick Jonas!" I hear that and enjoy it a lot more on The Today Show. It wasn't a bad mono, but wasn't as great as other hosts in previous years.
SpongeBob SquarePants won Favorite Cartoon. AGAIN. But this time...I was actually happy about it. After the win (it was very surprising to see the award be presented; it's been years), the voices of SpongeBob and Patrick themselves, Tom Kenny and Bill Fagerbakke came on stage to accept the award. It's been a long time since I've seen these guys on TV outside of SpongeBob (Fagerbakke on How I Met Your Mother [seriously] and Kenny with--well, it's been a very long time since), so it was wonderful to see these guys in the flesh at the ceremony, especially Bill. It just made me stop being mad and made me happy and grin from their brief appearance. So much so, that I can tolerate their live, impromptu voice over of their characters. I'm still in content that it won again, though.
When I looked at the list of performers, I realized that the producers haven't learned a dang lesson on finding appropriate performers for an awards ceremony made for kids. The performer: Iggy Azalea.
First off nominating her for more than one KCA should've set off a few red flags (along with Beyoncé, Nicki Minaj, and pretty much all the others). ("Fancy" for Best Song?!? What the hell were they thinking??) But then, she gets to perform, too! (Also, since she's actually in the building, it's clear she might walk away with a KCA.) So let's talk about her song "Trouble" with Jennifer Hudson.
It's a song about how a "good girl" is into a bad boy. First off, it's super empty. The lyrics don't mean a thing, there's no personality from Iggy and it's a concept I've heard many times before, some from female singers who worked at Nickelodeon. So I guess that's why this song was being performed. The beat sounds and feels disjointed; it's like the piano player suffered a writer's block (or a stroke), and just threw in random notes and thought they would fit and sounded perfect. Plus the stomping part from the second verse on remind me of "Get'cha Head in the Game" from High School Musical, except the producers of that song knew what they were doing with that, whereas this doesn't fit with the rest of the beat and sounds annoying.
The one thing I loved was Jennifer's vocals in it, as she really could carry this song. The chorus is catchy to a certain point, and the horns added in later made it a little better. But the "kiss your teeth" line sounds weird. Overall, this song is mediocre and it won't be a song I won't listen to a lot anytime soon.
As for the performance...
Anyway, this Iggy Azalea-JHUD performance cannot toe the line between kid-friendly and inappropriate. I mean, those outfits. #KCA
— Maroon Mondays (@MaroonMondays) March 29, 2015Really, the outfits are close to make me stop watching with the urge of not letting my children watch...even though I don't have children. Iggy's live vocals were boring and empty, just like the vocals in the recording, and it feels like even though she's performing, she still sounds low and bare. As for JHUD, she's still doing the better parts. I don't have to say much more because JHUD is awesome and can carry any track she performs in. All I can say more about this is that I'm so grad that it's 2 minutes 51 seconds long, and that it goes by quick. This was the weakest performance of the three and I'm glad this went second. This is a song I don't plan on hearing a lot more as life goes on.
Adam Sandler and Josh Gad presented Favorite Reality Show.
You know what's more annoying than Adam Sandler talking after winning a blimp? Adam Sandler talking before handing out one. #KCA
— Maroon Mondays (@MaroonMondays) March 29, 2015Basically, Sandler needs to know when and when not to talk at this awards show. His shtick may work for kids, but it's getting old and annoying to adults. I don't think every kid is going to like it either, so yeah. He needs to change his humor a lot. As for Gad, he's fine. I do laugh at his humor and he knows what he's doing so keep it up, Josh. Another cool moment was when Sandler blasted Gad with a large gun that shot slime at large speeds. Watching Josh take it to the face was hilarious, and I bet it would hurt a person that much. Just ask Katy Perry.
Anyway, Dance Moms won the award. My reaction was this.
Uhhh....No. WINNER--Reality Show-Dance Moms(!!!) #CongratsAbbyLeeMillerYouEvilWoman #CongratsMaddieZiegler #WhyDoYouKidsWatchThisDreck #KCA
— Maroon Mondays (@MaroonMondays) March 29, 2015I have a question for the parents that let their kids watch this crap:
What kind of parents are you? And techniques do you use to secretly torture your children?
Speaking of guys named Josh, Josh Peck (in a wig and pink shirt) snuck backstage into Nick's dressing room and rummaged around like the police in a trap house. It's really funny and I wish TMNT won Favorite Cartoon just to see him on stage. Great to see him back at Nick.
Chris Pratt was bombarded with pies by some kids before coming on stage to present Favorite Villain. The award was awarded to Angelina Jolie for her role as the titular character in Maleficent. This moment warmed by heart with glee to see her. This is because this was her first public appearance since the reveal in an op-ed from the New York Times that she had her ovaries removed to remove a generic rick for cancer. I was shocked and was beaming that she made an actual appearance for the show and accepted the award. Her speech was also beautiful; telling the kids in the mosh pit and viewers that it's okay being different. It was such a heartwarming speech, that I couldn't not call it my favorite moment of the night. Or at least split it with Kenny and Fagerbakke accepting Favorite Cartoon. These two definitely made the show for me.
Okay forget @SpongeBob. THAT"S rigged right there.
WINNER--Male Singer-@nickjonas (THE HOST!)
#CongratsHostNick #KidsChoiceAwards #KCA
— Maroon Mondays (@MaroonMondays) March 29, 2015and after giving his speech, he was slimed. I really thought that was a major excuse for this to happen, when this could've happened anywhere during the show. Including the end. At this point, I didn't realize that it WAS the end of the show, and that usually at this point where the host gets slimed.
Finally, 5 Seconds of Summer performed a cover of The Romantics' classic "What I Like About You". I honestly questioned why they performed this and not any of their own songs. They were still pretty good as a band and they do have a talent to continue as a band for the next few years. Consider them the new One Direction (That's if you can't take Zayn Malik leaving the band like a heart attack).
Anyway, I usually still stick with the KCAs after all these years to look at the design of the set. Last year's show blew my freakin' mind with its Lisa Frank catalogue-inspired stage.
It was beautiful, colorful, vibrant and all-around amazing.
This year...
It's great. But not as magnificent as last year's. It's much smaller, more limited and mostly screens than props. Kinda like the set for the 2013 show.
As for graphics, they're amazing. The ones used for revealing winners are genius; it takes up the screen potion very wisely and very well and aren't an eyesore. Plus the "Big Button" concept was a close throwback to the shows of the 2000s where anything and everything but envelopes were used to reveal winners, which was really cool to see.
Nick Jonas was pretty good as host. He had the energy and power to carry the show, but he wasn't great on a funny level. The jokes given to him weren't great; maybe because the jokes weren't fit for an audience other than kids, maybe Nick couldn't pull them off, or maybe the writers are so childish that they think anyone can laugh at them, and anyone can say them. Either way, they were corny as hell and pretty predictable. I had a feeling that because of his cool. calm and collected attitude, that he would bore the whole show down--but he wasn't bad. He was pretty good as host; He had the energy to carry it fine. But, his jokes weren't great though, and they weren't fit for someone like him. The joke with his "Grandma" (played by brother Joe Jonas) was the epitome of this. I'd call it a 7/10 for performance alone.
Anyway, I feel that the KCAs have changed. It doesn't feel as manic, hyper and crazy as it was in the past decade. It's like the shows isn't catering to just the kids; It's catering to kids, teenagers and some adults (like me). It feels like something that the entire family can watch, not just the kids while the adults are out of the room watching something else to drown out the loud screaming and booming music from the boob tube. It's still colorful and slime-filled, but it's more reserved and calmer. Plus, Tom Kenny isn't the announcer anymore. And you know what? I like it this way. I may be an adult, and I can't stand hyperactive, stupid, crazy and headache-inducing. And that's from years of watching the KCAs. I actually have a lot of fun and feel amazing from watching. And after the last few years, I actually feel good about myself watching the Kids' Choice Awards than embarrassed.
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