It’s good to see that synergy has gone hand in hand.
Especially for NBCUniversal for the film 50 Shades of Grey. The stars have appeared on NBC’s Today for interviews and featured stories, and have been doing the press junket for this wonderful cancer of a film. Most recently, Dakota Johnson has appeared in the Saturday Night Live 40th Anniversary Special just to mention that she’ll be hosting an episode at the end of the month. (Jerry Seinfeld even referred to her as “from 50 Shades of Grey”). No one has heard of this woman outside of the short-lived TV series she’s starred in, Ben & Kate, and now she’s the next big thing in Hollywood because this thing that’s the closest thing to softcore porn we’ll ever get in mainstream film.
And now she’s here at SNL, hosting because she has nothing to do but promote the film. And for those of you who can tell, I hate this thing, not only for being a phenomenon in the Literature world, inspiring women to annoy the husbands/boyfriends into strange freaky sex every night because of this 400-page nightmare of BDSM and leather, but also being a hugely-anticipated film where the same women drag their significant others to it, hoping for some red-hot smooshing, leather wearing out and a woman falling in love with a man who only loves her for her body and things he wants to do to it. Yeah, you haven’t noticed? The film and book is about a guy raping a woman, and she finds it romantic.
And by the way, Universal Pictures has greenlit two more films for a 50 Shades trilogy to continue the nonsense. Uhh...what the hell is wrong with you people?
Honestly, since this has been officially announced, I really expected the writers to come up with a sketch based on this film and mocking it. Because usually the show can and will make a parody sketch out of any TV show, movie or music video the host of the episode has starred in. And this here is NO EXCEPTION.
The CO is a spoof on Fox News Channel’s The Real Story with Gretchen Carlson (at first)...with former NYC mayor Rudy Giuliani (TKill) being interviewed by Carlson (Nessa B.) about his opinion about President Obama’s loyalty to the country. But during the break (of the “show”), Giuliani goes into Jack Handey mode, thinking of how he went from “America’s Mayor” to talking on a Fox News show. And from there…he starts walking...with a drum solo in distance.
I'll admit, I’ve never heard of Birdman before the SAG Awards nominations, let alone never seen it, so the deeper stuff definitely would fly over my head. But since I watched the TV spots and some clips during the Globes and Oscars, it was enough to enjoy this Open. So all in all, the CO was awesome and the Birdman spoof was brilliant. Beck Benn as BM Giuliani was the best part, with TKill (aka Usual #2) coming close in second by a hair. Host Dakota Johnson also did a great job as Emma Stone’s character, doing it a little bit justice, and made this one of the better performances of her entire gig.
(and if you haven’t gotten the shout-out yet, And Now…)
Dakota walks to the stage for the Monologue, and you can pretty much guess what she’s talking about.
The Mono was kind of a bore, and that’s a great thanks to Dakota’s glum delivery and her nerves getting the best of her. And the obvious joke based on 50 Shades of Grey did not help. When her famous parents, Melanie Griffith and Don Johnson, were shown, I thought they were covering their eyes to shield embarrassment from their daughter starring in Rihanna’s Music After Rated R: The Movie. Nope, they thought she was coming out naked. Really, writers??
I’ll say this right now:
The Pre-Tape After the Monologue features ISIS. Before I get annoyingly specific with details like I usually do, I will say, I was quite happy the ISIS mention is there. It shows that SNL can still push boundaries in some sketches after all these, and it did it. I had a huge feeling some twist would come up later, and I was right (I actually thought this would be a shot at Nationwide for that Super Bowl ad) but was enjoying it nonetheless. I even laughed at it, too.
These evil, disgusting, conniving ahithead assfaces really needed to be ripped a new one.
I figured that some people would bitch and moan at it, and boy they went at it. Come on, people!! THIS IS SNL; they’ve been known for this the most during the first 5 seasons, and you guys still eat it up like Little Chocolate Donuts. You all may Satire isn’t meant to be taken seriously, yet here we are.
The Sketch After is possible a parody of the upcoming film Cinderella...and it was corny as hell. I don’t know what to do with this except watch it and go “Wha?” Usual #’s 1 & 2 did nothing to make it palpable and Cecily Strong did her best as Cindy’s “mother/on-the-wagon junkie”, but this didn’t help matters.
From there, I had a feeling that this episode would be super corny. And I was right.
But not here though.
Another pre-tape involving the ladies, and being a spoof on the Microsoft commercials that features Sara Bareilles’ “Brave”. Here, we’re treated to them in different situations and the things they say are just like the lyrics to the amazing song implies.
This is hilarious, no doubt. Even if it was rude, I can’t help but laugh hard at this. Especially the part with Kate Mc on the crapper. Seriously, she can do no wrong.
(“50 Shades”) Press Junket
After that, a sketch spoofing the interview junket of “50 Shades of Grey”, Dakota Johnson (playing as herself) is being asked by a geek (KyMoo) some...uncomfortable and inappropriate questions for his school paper.
Mooney plays the geek character extremely well, and almost singlehandedly made him the Cast Member of the Week. And to think he wouldn’t have been had the sketches this week had gotten better. How surprising that the sketch I was dreading so much is actually really funny. Shocking, right?
I Can’t Even. Literally (used incorrectly). Like (used like you’re Shaggy Rogers).
I hate these terms so freaking much. Unfortunately, I had to watch people say these terms in a sketch. This made me want to commit murder to people who say these things, but fortunately for them (and me, because I can’t be someone’s bitch in jail; I already am in my family), I have restraint. Already from the first time one of them said “Can’t Even”, I called this my most hated sketch of the episode, and is already in competition to become the worst sketch of the entire season.
And I’m so glad I don’t have to see this again, because I’ve already typed my thoughts down while watching the show live. These people so annoyingly stupid and lazy that they make Patrick Star look like Sportacus from LazyTown, even if that’s the point and this skit is a satire on these terms. I really felt sorry for Margo (Baby Aidy), as she had to deal with these two dumb bitches and and a taint lick, even after falling down a window.
Worf M.D./Emergency Room
I don’t know about this one. I did laugh when Kenan came in as a very cool looking Dr. Worf from The Next Generation. And after that...nothing. This was a clear 4-minute tribute to Leonard Nimoy from Star Trek: The Original Series. And this was the second time the show paid tribute to a former guest host or guest; the first time was back in Episode 2, hosted by Sarah Silverman. But that was beautiful, compared to this absolutely terrible dreck. I will give the crew credit for doing this, though, as it was well-thoughtful to put together for him. Also, I was a little surprised when Pete Dave’s character would know who Worf is, but hey, Netflix.
Live Long and Prosper, Mr. Nimoy
Net Effect: Net Neutrality
Later on a talk show sketch on people of the Internet talking about Net Neutrality, a law passed by Congress to let the Internet be free and open to everyone, instead of controlled and watched by the government. It was...mediocre. The writing was weird; There was no segueing from guest to guest, the host didn’t go to other guests to ask questions, and the jokes were just weak; not even Jones’ performance could help this one (although I did laugh when she said “First!” which is a nod to commenters on YouTube using the word in their comments to brag about being, well, first to comment). Then it gets even worse when the guests do hand tricks, something not out of place in a sitcom on Nickelodeon and Disney Channel, with the laugh track turned up extra loud to make the joke seem like a gold mine.
I also liked the fact that some of the featured cast members got a sketch to do, and it was good to see them say a few more words in the episode, even if one of the Usuals (Moyni) also appear in it. The better part came later on when Konko and Davis smack-talked each other, leading Davis to tell him “tell it to my gold face, you blue son of a bitch!” I laughed hard. This extended to when Vincent Sur (Usual #2), one of the founders of the Internet, came on to berate the panelists about their professions; he later bitch-slaps the guests. He then smacks -- and she screams “Harder!!”. Okay, that one was funny. This was the only 50 Shades joke outside of the 50 Shades sketch I found funny all throughout the show. Another one was when
Also, a good thing: I now finally know how to do that hard trick with your hands. Thanks, Bobby!!
Mr. Riot Films
We close out with a Pre-Tape by Beck an’ Kyle parodying hidden camera shows. The subjects are bullying, people’s reactions, and gender equality in the workplace. I thought this one felt like a video made for YouTube, and that the dog part was weirdly hilarious. But weird is what they do, and they do great with it.
The bassist’s beard is awesome. The drummer’s hair is awesome. The pianist’s hair is awesome. Brittany Howard’s hair, those glasses, and lipstick mouth is awesome. Even their name is awesome. It sounds like the name of the best milkshake you’ve ever had in your life and you’re willing to move to a new state just to buy more.
Their first song in the set, “Don’t Wanna Fight”, is my favorite. Howard really shines through and through with her vocals. The music is awesome, and the back-up singers accentuate her vocals, making this sound great. Even the screech she made at the start was great.
“Gimme All Your Love” is also a great performance. Forget those songs of the 80s, 90s and 00s, this will be the new song everyone will play during sex scenes in TV shows. Again, Howard really shines with her vocals, and that sound and tempo change in the middle was magnificent. If there would be a dream I would have for the next few months, it would be her singing this song to me during my more private moments: like using the bathroom, jerking off, watching House of Cards while eating cereal, eating Pop-Tarts on a whim, watching Maury, or singing it to her while in a lamb costume.
Again, this band is awesome, and I’m super glad they came back to the show. The music, sound, vocals and -- is fantastic, and I can’t wait any longer to listen to more of their music soon.
Time For an Update
Part 1:
Part 2:
If Weekend Update was one of the better parts of the episode, then you got a problem.
First off: Jost & Che...talked to each other. I know, it’s odd. It rarely ever happens. But it happened, and it was great. They need to do this more often. Oh yeah, and I didn’t fall asleep from Jost or get irritated from Che’s incessant flubbing again. So even better than the last few weeks.
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First guest Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg (Kate Mc) appears to discuss her longevity as the oldest justice on the bench. This was an utterly perfect segment. Kate really does Ms. Ginsburg justice (pun intended) and really threw down the “Gins-burns” hard (and hilariously). Like I said earlier, Kate can do no wrong.
Also if I hadn’t known any better, the graphic showing her name misspelled it.
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Kanye West (Pharaoh) appeared to explain his apology to singer Beck, and ends up apologizing to Jost, the film Selma, the two escaping llamas, and even her daughter North for having a name like a direction.
Dammit, if you don’t think Jay Pharoah does a damn bang-up job as West, then you must be stupid. His voice and mannerisms are on-point and makes you think that Kanye himself is there. Jay even looks close to Kanye, too. So this was a perfect one, definitely.
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Speaking of perfect...
Riblet’s baaack!!
Honestly, I just love this guy. Not only can Moyni make me laugh as a goofy, ghetto-looking and -sounding white guy who works at Friendly’s and steal people’s thunder (complete with mic drops), he also works as that same guy who can really do Update.
If Lorne is testing the waters with Moyni at the desk, I wouldn’t mind seeing him there. In fact, I would LOVE to see him there. I wouldn’t be saddened at all to see one of them leave. I know Riblet won’t be there all the time, but I’d take that
Top Three Best Sketches:
1. 50 Shades Press Junket (I’m just as surprised as you are that this is here)
2. Birdman Parody Open
3. Weekend Update
Best Pre-Tapes:
ISIS Ad (whether you like it or not)
Say What You Wanna Say/Be Brave (thanks to Kate Mc on the can)
Worst Sketches:
1) I Can’t (Even)
2) Cinderella Parody
3) Emergency Room
I apologize to the writers for the Blake Shelton episode. At least that had some really good jokes mixed in with the really bad ones. It isn’t the worst episode of the season.. THIS ONE IS! The writing for the live sketches were weak as f**k, Johnson did her best, but her performance and delivery in some sketches were flat and boring, and was even bored by some of them. I did not laugh all the way through all the sketches; there was only one joke that had me chuckle (chuckle!) at least in all of them.
I hadn’t noticed this at first, but Kenan barely appeared in this episode; he only appeared prominently in the Worf sketch and that’s all I see of him. I know this may be his final season on SNL, and that he may have been in a lot of sketches in previous episodes, but this is sad and that he may appear in at least two sketches for the next few episodes.
Meanwhile, the featured cast member coming to dominate in some sketches. That should be good, but they were left weak-as-hell content. I’d say they should be given another sketch in another episode, but they should get stronger material. It’s the writers’ fault for that, but the producers don’t notice that. They’ll just not put them in a few sketches and may solve the problem. (NOT)
And again, if Weekend Update was the better part of the episode, you have a problem. A big problem. But I enjoyed Update very well. And I very well enjoyed Alabama Shakes’ performances.
So, this was a very mediocre episode, and this wouldn’t be an episode I would watch again. But then again, I don’t usually watch episodes from this season more than once anyway, so it’s a win-win for us all. For me, because I don’t have to watch crap sketches again, and for SNL so they don't have to read about my talking about their crap sketches.
See you then!!
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