Yahoo! Changes its Logo: Why?

After 15 years of using the the same logo without updating it (besides a change of color),

Yahoo! has announced a never-before major campaign. A campaign to show a lot of different logos for the month of August and reveal the best on September 5. It sounds good, but here's the catch.

For the next 30 days, Yahoo! will reveal a different logo every day until September 5 and then will reveal the completely diffent one on September 5th.
All I want to ask is: WHY? Yahoo! already has a great logo. It's been in use for 15+ years and it's never been a bad one to anyone, including me. I like the Idea of making 30-so different logos and asking the public which one is the best. But I don't like the idea of rolling them out one per day. I find better to just roll them all out at once. It makes me wonder what "Genius" mind at Yahoo! HQ made the campaign, not thinking that people will want to protest this campaign because of some suckish logos like this

and this

and this.

(You know what? I kinda like that one. Reminds me of Martin.)

Anyway Yahoo!, I hope whatever logo you have planned for September 5th is a great one...or a really good one. Or a completely different one that surprises us, that it has put this campaign to good use. Otherwise, I will hate it.

SLMR: Roar

That's right. Yet another Short/Long Music Review.
So, if Lady Gaga's back, then I guess Katy Perry's back too. Since Teenage Dream was released, and its singles were huge hits on the charts, becoming #1 hits in the process, she went on tour, appeared on TV, and made movies including The Smurfs, which actually was a good mivie (although when I saw it at the theatre, my eyes were closed the whole time.

After that, she was out of the music world, so far gone no one was talking about her in terms of music, and wanting her to show off her daisy dukes and bikini top once again...that is until a picture of a gold truck that read "Katy Perry Prism" showed up last month, geniusly telling the world that Katy-Cats are pouncing back to Earth. The first single of the upcoming album was Roar.

This song is about female empowerment (Oh god) and the need to be strong and forget the--okay, I'll tell you this. I hate female empowerment songs...but this can be an exception.

It isn't dark, it isn't scary, and it isn't yawnish. It's a song written in a Punky Brewster-type of way, like saying "Our relationship isn't working. You suck balls. I'm leaving you ass. See you in Hell" (and there is no way Katy is going other way. Not even her parents are helping her.)
As for the beat, it's almost like nothing I've heard from her in--well, ever. She sounds different, there's more smoothness into it, and it's not about a slut. Because that's what we want these days.
Oh and I will admit this. As I have said, I usually hate female empowerment songs. With a passion. They always talk about the woman being stronger after she leaves her lover, about how she's always in a sh!tty relationship and they're everywhere. They will never leave. There are more of them then love songs, breakup songs, party songs and even parody songs.

In fact why aren't there any male empowerment songs? I wanna hear how a guy can leave a bad relationship and come out stronger. I don't care if he cheated. I don't mind if there aren't many. I just want to hear this a million times so I can pay for all the stupid FEM-EM songs I've listened to over the years.
Oh and there is no music video yet, so stay tuned. Katy, you have a hit on your hands. You might be a big star soon, so keep up the good work. I like music that sonds like music from the 1980s. I would buy the album if you promise one thing? Be a slut for me in at least two songs and I'll be in heaven. That way the rest of the record isn't so dirty.

And there it is: one song that proves the Katy-Cats will go to war with the Little Monsters and promise some epic lashing and makeup and glitter everywhere. Something I'd pay my house and whatever's in my pocket for. See you next time if I find another song that may be another Song of the Fall...or something that gets me more pageviews.

SLMR: Applause

That's right folks. Another Short/Long Music Review.

You know Lady Gaga, right? Pop star more known for her creepy outrageous fashion choices than her music? Perfect, so everyone? Okay so Lady Gage has been out of the music world since Born This Way and out of the public eye since the day she broke her hip and leg, barring her from wearing yet another god-awful trainwre--I mean avante-garde creation. Whether you love it or hate, you gotta give credit to Gaga for being such a creative genius.

And during that time, she has been in the studio working on more new music and, with her creative team Haus of Gaga, began developing an unprecedented new application involving a new album Artpop and videos for each song on the album, bonus music, games, chats, fashion updates and much more. If it sounds exciting, then tell that to the people who don't care (including me). Because right now, I'm more focused on her latest single "Applause".

This single would've been released on August 19, with her performing it live at the MTV Video Music Awards on the 25th. But thanks to some people who somehow found snippets of it and leaked them to the Internet, that won't happen. (Genius Idiots) So now Ms. Gaga and her record company Interscope had to release "Applause" TODAY. So I (along with everyone else) just had to hear it...and make a Short Long Music Review about in the process.

So here it is: I love the beat (It sounds something like I Gotta New Attitude and Let's Get Physical), I love the lyrics ("I overheard your theory/'Nostalgia's for geeks'" is hilarious), and I really love the chorus ("Put your hands up/Make 'em touch" has never left my mind)...but I'm not completely in love with Ms. Gaga's vocals. She sounds like she's singing in Broadway. (Not a bad thing, but iffy to me.) It sounds scratchy, odd, and surprising every time I heard it. I don't know if that it's the point or not, but yeah.



Please don't get me wrong; I love Lady Gaga, and I love all her singles. But to me, this is the first time I haven't all the way loved one of her song right out of the gate. I'm just as surprised as you are. I think that'll change every time I keep hearing it. There is now music video yet; that will be released next week. For now, we have to picture what that vid might be, because Lady Gaga has always kept us wondering, guessing and shocked, especially shocked. For now great single, Lady Gaga. I can't wait for you to perform it at the VMA's. This single is going to be a hit and will be the song of the fall, because we already have a song of the summer.

And there it is: one song that will begin a huge revolution the the era of the Little Monsters. May their mother be proud. I didn't have to review it, but I did. Stay tuned tomorrow when I review Katy Perry's new single "ROAR". Until next time, I'm Andrew saying "Give me an Applause".

Teen Choice Awards: My Review

Welcome everyone to the dog days of summer. Where the beaches are closing, the babes are done tanning, the BBQs close, and everyone gone back to their normal lives. Oh and the Teen Choice Awards come out and play for the right reasons. Teenagers vote to choose which actor or actress or singer is hotter than the other and hope that actor, actress or singer wins. Also they want to see if Justin Bieber or Cody Simpson or One Direction will perform and/or take his shirt off. Oh and they'll scream every five-seven seconds. And even though I don't watch most of the TV shows their demo watches, I enjoy the TCAs for its upbeat, colorful and preppy nature. Sure it's annoying for some, but what else can you watch on a broadcast network in the summer and have this much fun (even if you don't have cable)?

This years' show is hosted by Pretty Little Liars star Lucy Hale and Glee star Darren Criss, taking place for the last time at the Gibson Amphitheatre in Los Angeles before the venue closes to make room for The Wizarding World of Harry Potter. Why that's happening, I don't care. I couldn't watch this years' show because I had other things to do (and all the other TVs in the house were taken), so I had to grab the info from Wikipedia and the show's official Twitter page, which was very slow at best. But that was fine because I figured most of the people winning last night were the same people who won last year. But I love watching the actors and singers acting surprised because they either knew they won or were surprised they won, because their fans have been playing "Anything You Can Do, I Can Do Better" with other celebrities' fans. Also there wasn't much winners last night that I didn't see coming.

Usually during my reviews, I just give my critiques on performances and nothing else, because nothing else happens in the ceremony to surprise or excite me. But here, it's the exact opposite. There were some interesting moments that would stand out among the rest to make headlines around the world. I'll get to that later, but first, the performances:


Starting off the show is everybody's favorite foreign pasty-faced pretty boys One Direction, singing their latest hit "Best Song Ever". I got to hear it for the first time, and to me, it is not what the title implies (even if they know what the best song ever is; hell, it could be some heavy metal song about Zombies and moonshining). I didn't like it because the boys were a little off-key. I'm okay that they didn't do much but stand and walk around the stage, because that's what everyone did tonight...well let's say that I'm glad they began the show and not ended it. The performance started the show with a fizzle, not a bang.

Next up was Florida Georgia Line with "Cruise". I don't like the song so much, but it has become the fourth rated song of the summer, behind "Blurred Lines", "Get Lucky" and "We Can't Stop", to my utter annoyance. This song is like every other country (and every hip-hop) song about cars and sluts. So here's a short rundown: They're standing there, with a bunch of women in skimpy clothing dancing like strippers (or normally) and then Nelly comes out. The same as their last live performances. I didn't like it. I hated it.

One of the the best performances of the night for me went to Demi Lovato with "Made in the USA". Although I'm a sucker for So-Happy-to-be-An-American-I-Could-Sing-About-It songs like "Born in the USA" and "God Bless America", this technically probably wasn't one in that context. This song is about being patriotic, yes, but in a good relationship. I like this song because it puts a twist on the ever-so-legendary songs about being American by singing about being an American in love, which is genius. She sang beautifully here, and that's what mattered here. I don't care what Demi wore, I don't care what 'do Demi had and I don't even care if Nick Jonas was on drums. Demi was great and that's what mattered.

And finally, Paramore (whose only songs I heard were Decode and Only Exception [Both of which I love]) sang yet another song I never heard of tonight {I should listen to the radio more}, "Still Into You". It was energetic from the beginning. Haley Williams was amazing singing the song and doing whatever she was doing there. Although I was wondering what was on her legs, Then a flash mob of people wearing black clothes and colored wigs erupted on the stage. And then they showed their asses. Yup, good way to battle the censors, Fox. Anyway, it was an awesome performance from start to finish, and ended the show with an explosion. And this is a show that is really annoying and suckish most of the time.

The music performances were wonderful, but the biggest and the best moment of all that night was when Lea Michele made her first public appearance since since the death of her Glee co-star and real life boyfriend Cory Monteith. She was brave to come out on stage after a very painful time in her life, and I commend her for that. To lose someone you loved and cared for so much, and more over for that to be so focused on in the public eye, she must have the balls to come out on TV and thank the fans for their love and support. And of course, that was when Glee won best comedy, but that time is better than no time at all.

Oh and then there was...twerking. Oh yeah, that's right. twerking. This tweet shares my anger and embarrassment for this country.

"Tonight: we set a world record for twerking!" --An actual thing the announcer just said. MY GOD. #TeenChoice

— Ryan McGee (@TVMcGee) August 12, 2013

And this is what I would rather watch than that. Notice how the rakes Sideshow Bob hits represent the facepalms I made after hearing that. And the grunts I made after said facepalms:


And now this years' winners. They get a surfboard. No, seriously, a surfboard. Something that looks they can't surf on. But it is better than a piece of metal. Also, I kinda wasn't surprised at some of the winners, because whatever adults find horrible, teens find amazing. In fact, someone has actually blown the lid on voting. And he happened to win one in 2010. Shane Dawson, popular comedian on YouTube, posted this tweet about 45 minutes into the show:

I hate to shock you but the teen choice awards are fake. They don't count your votes. And this is coming from me, a guy who's won one b4

— Shane Dawson (@shanedawson) August 12, 2013

You guys voting is just marketing ploy. So if ur fave artist didnt win tonight no worries, support them by buying their music instead :)

— Shane Dawson (@shanedawson) August 12, 2013

I was shocked at first, but quickly knew he was probably right. Some of the winners were either the same winners from last year or those who were expected to win. And the producers probably made the choices for the winners, not the teens who voted on the website.
Which led to this.

PROOF the teen choice awards are fake. BAM lol don't believe Hollywood. Ps. Just lookin out for u guys!! <3 http://t.co/2hvVoOJGfS

— Shane Dawson (@shanedawson) August 12, 2013

Such smart investigating, Shane. Anyway, here they are in particular order:

Choice MOVIE
Action: “Iron Man 3”
Actor Action: Robert Downey, Jr. - “Iron Man 3”
Actress Action: Anne Hathaway - “The Dark Knight Rises”
Drama: "The Perks of Being a Wallflower"
Actor Drama: Logan Lerman - "The Perks of Being a Wallflower"
Actress Drama: Emma Watson - “The Perks of Being a Wallflower”
Comedy: "Pitch Perfect"
Actor Comedy: Skylar Astin - "Pitch Perfect"
Actress Comedy: Rebel Wilson - "Pitch Perfect"
Romance: “The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part 2”
Actor Romance: Robert Pattinson - “The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part 2”
Actress Romance: Kristen Stewart - “The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part 2”
Sci-Fi/Fantasy: “The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part 2” (Of course)
Actor Sci-Fi/Fantasy: Taylor Lautner, “The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part 2” (Of Course)
Actress Sci-Fi/Fantasy: Kristen Stewart - “The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part 2” (OF COURSE)
Breakout: Adam DeVine - "Pitch Perfect"
Scene Stealer: Kellan Lutz - “The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn - Part 2"
Best Villain: Adam DeVine - “Pitch Perfect”
Summer Movie: Action: "Fast & Furious 6"
Summer Movie: Comedy: "Grown Ups 2"
Summer Movie Star: Male: Johnny Depp - "The Lone Ranger"
Summer Movie Star: Female: Sandra Bullock - "The Heat"

Choice MUSIC
Male Artist: Justin Bieber
Female Artist: Demi Lovato
Choice Single: Male Artist: Justin Bieber featuring Nicki Minaj - “Beauty And A Beat"
Choice Single: Female Artist: Demi Lovato - “Heart Attack”
Choice Single: Group: One Direction - “Live While We're Young”
Group: One Direction
R&B Artist: Bruno Mars
Hip-Hop/Rap Artist: Macklemore & Ryan Lewis
Rock Group: Paramore
Electronic Dance Music (EDM) Artist: David Guetta
Country Group: Lady Antebellum
Male Country Artist: Hunter Hayes
Female Country Artist: Taylor Swift (Since when is she still a country artist?)
Rock Song: Imagine Dragons - “Radioactive”
Love Song: One Direction-"Little Things"
Break-Up Song: Selena Gomez-"Come and get It"
R&B/Hip-Hop Song: Macklemore & Ryan Lewis featuring Ray Dalton - “Can't Hold Us'
Breakout Artist: Ed Sheeran
Breakout Group: Emblem3
Country Song: Taylor Swift - “We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together” (Wow you people are idiots)
Summer Song: Miley Cyrus - “We Can't Stop”
Summer Music Star: Female: Selena Gomez
Summer Music Star: Male: Bruno Mars
Summer Music Star: Group:
Choice Summer Tour: One Direction-“Take Me Home Tour”

Choice TELEVISION
Drama Show: Pretty Little Liars
Actor: Drama: Ian Harding - “Pretty Little Liars”
Actress: Drama: Troian Bellisario, “Pretty Little Liars”
Fantasy/Sci-Fi Show: "The Vampire Diaries"
Actor: Fantasy/Sci-Fi: Ian Somerhalder - "The Vampire Diaries"
Actress: Fantasy/Sci-Fi: Nina Dobrev - "The Vampire Diaries"
Action Show: “NCIS: Los Angeles”
Actor: Action: LL Cool J - “NCIS: Los Angeles”
Actress: Action: Lucy Liu - “Elementary”
Comedy Show: "Glee" (WHY??)
Actor: Comedy: Jim Parsons - "The Big Bang Theory"
Actress: Comedy: Lea Michele - "Glee" (I don't see why.)
Animated Show: "The Simpsons"
Male Personality: Simon Cowell - "The X Factor"
Female Personality: Demi Lovato - "The X Factor" (Not a shocker, but I don't mind.)
Reality Competition Show: "The X Factor" (It just had to. They share a network.)
Reality Show: “Keeping Up with the Kardashians” (I hate this country.)
Female Reality Star: The Kardashians & Jenners - “Keeping Up with the Kardashians” (Don't want to live here anymore.)
Male Reality Star": Kevin Jonas, “Married to Jonas”
Breakout Show: “The Fosters”
Breakout StarBlake Jenner - "Glee"
Scene Stealer: Male: Chord Overstreet - "Glee"
Scene Stealer: Female: Miley Cyrus - “Two and a Half Men” (She's not even a main chara--oh, I don't care.)
Villain: Janel Parrish “Pretty Little Liars”
Summer TV Show: "Pretty Little Liars"
Summer TV Star: Male: Keegan Allen - "Pretty Little Liars"
Summer TV Star: Female: Lucy Hale, "Pretty Little Liars"

I wanted to do more, bur I couldn't take any more of this. It was already a nightmare copying this from Wikipedia. So I wondered what happened if I typed every single letter of every single word of every single category. Then I stopped and went to sleep because it felt like I was at this for hours. I feel sorry for however made the website.

Anyway, it was a nice show, but they need to put it together and I can't wait for next year. I'll see you next month for the VMAs review.

Oh and if I mess up, I was frustrated at all this. Sue me.

SLMR: We Can't Stop and Pom Poms

Welcome to Short/Long Music Review, where I find songs (I either love or hate) to review them in a short review that took a long time to review.

Today I'm working on two hits from four former Disney Channel stars that become something close to J.Lo and The Wanted. These artists have changed their images because they wanted to, not because they had to. They're growing, and so are their fanbases. So they had to make songs to prove those changes: songs about girls with big butts and having fun like it's no one's business. It's "We Can't Stop" by Miley Cyrus and "Pom Poms" by The Jonas Brothers.

First up, "We Can't Stop".

As you all know, Miley Cyrus began her career as the star of Disney Channel's Disney Hannah Montana.

During that time, she has sang every other cliched teeny-bopper song under the sun about breakups, makeups, best friends, going out, kissing, and other crap through the world-famous alias of Hannah Montana, becoming one of the most cleanest, holiest, smells-like-lemon-est singers and actors in the world. Even after Hannah changed her look to something from a thrift store, she still looks clean. After the show's end, Miley has gone through a big change in her life; dropping the Walmart shirts and Target pants and going straight to the Hollister tank tops and H&M short-shorts. She has gone through a big phase and boy, has she impressed us with it. And she has put this change into song form with "We Can't Stop".


When I first read about this song, I thought "Oh God, am I gonna hate this song". Because it's about adolescents doing God knows what, going God know where, putting things where God (and the other person) know where to put them, and saying that they don't care what anybody else thinks like teenage girls on The Maury Show, you can understand what I mean. But when I first heard it...well, It's kinda surprising. As it turns out, I actually like it. (I know, I know. I may be as shocked as you are.) But there can be a good reason why. Now I like Miley's music, even all the way back to her Hannah Montana phase. Sounds poppy, lyrics are clean, and the beat is sugary, but danceable. And like that music, it's catchy, with beats to dance to, and it's not really too sugar-coated. And as her image matured, so did her music. She did have a few missteps here and there ("Moving my hips like yeah" Really?) but she gradually gotten better. Which leads to "We Can't Stop". The beat is perfect (it was produced by Mike WILL Made It; not a typical choice for a white female pop artist, but surprisingly nice choice indeed), the lyrics are super catchy (although some including "Everybody in line in the bathroom/Trying to get a line in the bathroom} are questionably weird), and the popularity may be well-deserved. It is yet another poppy dance/club song about getting sweaty and finding love in a club, but at least it's not set to an electronic beat with creepy sounds or human noises slapped in, because I really hate them.
Now the video...it's interesting. Dancing with a giant teddy bear on your back? Check.
Colored mist coming from your nether regions? Check.
Cutting your fingers to spew pink liquid? Check.
Kissing a doll version of yourself? Check.

And twerking on blast in skin-tight clothes?

Double check. Make that part of the list of components for the weirdest and most off-putting music video I've seen this year so far. Yes, it involves dancing and falling in love (or lust) and being with friends...even though it's in an really odd setting. Some critics have said that the video is a desperate attempt by Miley to be popular and relevant again. I don't know about them but I really like the video, but it's best that I watch in small doses. I can't have nightmares about that...moving computer head.

And now, "Pom Poms".

That's right, guys. The JoBros are back, and they're better than ever! Now, before you ask me, yes, the Jonas Brothers were also Disney Channel stars. After they became teen heart-throbs (with their skinny suits and their promise rings), their first television appearance was on Hannah Montana, before being randomly chosen (like every other DC star appearing in every other DC show) by Disney Channel to star in their own show, Disney JONAS.

It about the three spending time away from being pop-rock stars and kicking back to become regular teenagers. And with that, there is also wacky scenes, goofy transitions and an awesome soundtrack. Sometimes I thought Nick was a player, Joe was goofy, and Kevin was gay. (It was actually really good.)
(Yes, the Disney logo appears on all the DC shows' logo; and the Disney (program name) thing is a joke to show my annoyance of such)

After the show ended (it got cancelled), the brothers went back to music, and were nothing like I thought. After another album, a sudden breakup, side projects (Nick with The Administration, Joe went solo, and Kevin had a kid), the trio decided to patch things up, get back together, break up with the label, start their own, and make more music, which led to "Pom Poms".


Now this song is different from their earlier work, mostly because it's about a guy's desire to see a girl's booty go boing. Normally, if I hear any song about this description, I'd think about beaning myself with a can opener. But this time I won't. This one's actually a pretty enjoyable song about such. In fact, as I admit, hearing this song, the JBs makes this look innocent, although they probably wouldn't admit it. Also the line "I want you on my team/Want you like a kid just wants a milkshake" is kinda cute, but hilarious. The beat is amazing; the addition of college sports marching band music is an awesome touch and using "put you pom poms down for me" is a clever euphemism for "shake dat ass for me, mommy", although no one is supposed to be fooled. In fact, the more I hear this song, I more I know that they're trying to be more mature, but I just see this as adorable.
As for the video, it looks like a exciting extension: Telling girls to put their pom poms down on a football field. Get it, because cheerleaders shake pom poms on a football field.

It's a--never mind. And to make it more exciting, throw in hot skinny girls in skimpy clothing (maybe from Hollister or H&M), a real marching band and a church choir to accentuate the "Revival" line. (GLORY!) And, oh, the kid and the milkshake are here too. So this video for "Pom Poms" better to look at than "We Can't Stop". To me it looks like the visual is set in Gravity Falls, making "We Can't Stop" look like it's set in Elmore. There's no finger-cutting, doll-kissing, money-eating or hot dog pinatas here. Keep going somewhere else.
But both videos are enjoyable, as are these songs. These songs are great to dance to at the club or at home by yourself. Either way, these songs are wonderful to hear, but don't listen too close to the lyrics.

And there they are: two songs I didn't have to review but I did, because-well-someone had to. The hooks are catchy, but the lyrics are about Running things before things run we (GULP) and feeling happy some girl's hands are free to run all over you. But it's up to you if you want to listen. And next time I will be back to find another song to review (I hope it's good; who am I kidding, it's probably bad)
See you next time.

MLB Suspends Druggie Players

Hey everyone. If you have a job, thank God that you do. Because the next post will involve a group of people who aren't so lucky. This and last year, there has been a major scandal involving performance-enhancing drugs among the professional sports companies. The Major Baseball League has announced a trackdown of players using PEDs that will be suspended for predetermined amount of games and months with the suspensions coming into affect immediately.

Aahhh, Baseball. America's pastime. The only place where where two teams face against each other and not break the others' spirits and bones. Also, it's the place where people can have a good time watching a ball fly toward them wishing to catch it. Also at the end of a game, you see the losing team take their loss with grace and dignity. You never see bullcrap like what you see in other sports. But you can see bullcrap outside the sport, like this:

The MLB has announced that it is suspending 13 players for using performance enhancing drugs while playing. The following players are:
Philadelphia Phillies pitcher Antonio Bastardo
San Diego Padres shortstop Everth Cabrera
New York Yankees catcher Francisco Cervelli
Texas Rangers outfielder Nelson Cruz
Padres pitcher Fautino De Los Santos, who is currently on the roster of the Double-A San Antonio Missions of the Texas League
Houston Astros pitcher Sergio Escalona, who is currently of the roster of the Double-A Corpus Christi Hooks of the Texas League
Yankees outfielder Fernando Martinez, who is currently on the roster of the Triple-A Scranton/Wilkes-Barre RailRiders of the International League
Seattle Mariners catcher Jesus Montero, who is currently on the roster of the Triple-A Tacoma Rainiers of the Pacific Coast League
Free agent pitcher Jordan Norberto
Detroit Tigers shortstop Jhonny Peralta
New York Mets outfielder Cesar Puello, who is currently on the roster of the Double-A Binghamton Mets of the Eastern League
Mets infielder/outfielder Jordany Valdespin, who is currently on the roster of the Triple-A Las Vegas 51s of the Pacific Coast League and, the biggest one of the group,
New York Yankees baseman Alex Rodriguez, who has been suspended for a whopping 211 games, and might come back to baseball in 2015.
The MLB says the Rodriguez ban is 'based on his use and possession of numerous forms of prohibited performance-enhancing substances, including testosterone and human growth hormone, over the course of multiple years.'

While all other suspended players have accepted the suspension and decided not to appeal, A-Rod responded to this, because he wants to continue his career and because he loves his fans as much as his job, vowing to appeal the MLB's decision to start the ban, saying in a statement "I am disappointed with the penalty and intend to appeal and fight this through the process". The suspension (and his appeal) starts Thursday.

Really, Alexander? You're disappointed, huh? You're disappointed that you have no longer have to play baseball and and hear the loud cheers of young fans looking up to you for your perseverance to the sport and love of the pe--Oh who am I kidding? Are you disappointed that you won't make more money and endorsement deals?
Well, so am I. I'm disappointed...that you're an uppity dickhead who can't wait a several months to play baseball again and that you're pissed at the MLB for doing you a favor. It's your fault you shot yourself in the ass to make yourself better than your own teammates and be more popular and more richer than any other player in Baseball. You know, I used to not like you because you were on another team. Now I just hate you. All the other players also suspended all accepted suspension. Apparently, they did a noble thing for the horrible things they done. And they were also smart enough not to embarrass themselves by going forward with an appeal. You, however, are an idiot for actually believing you could get away with doping while being a baseball player without thinking that a piss test still exists. You think people want you to appeal because they know you love them? No. They know you want to appeal because want the bread you'll earn to keep your empire (and your house) afloat. You suck, A-Rod. You suck so hard--

Okay, does anyone else think this is well-deserved? Of course taking drugs is one thing (and it's bad itself) but taking steroids while being a baseball player, or football player or even cricket player is a really stupid thing. I ask you, A-Rod and others: Is your career really important to you? So important to take steroids that you went to some dude in a clinic and get shot in the ass for to make money for you and your team and get so popular that that you would push back even your own family? Anywho, I'm not really surprised that the MLB suspended these players for doping because where I come from, cheating with HGH use may get you in some slut's bed, yes, but will also get you into serious trouble. Not only with the MLB, but also the law. You can be paid a fine, stripped from your rings and championships or even go to jail. Oh course I won't care, because I follow people who don't shoot drugs in their chests. And those fans who stand with A-Rod are just in denial (or just plain stupid). Oh and you'll also get a few serious side effects, including:
Breasts
Baldness
Smaller testicles
Infertility (inability to produce sperm or reproduce) and
Impotence (inability to maintain an erection during intercourse)

So, A-Rod, and all the other players who took PEDs at this time and deserve enjoy life without a ball, bat, the fans, and the needle, as much as you won't enjoy bigger tits, baldness, a smaller nutsack, and the inability to get sperm or get hard. Because you'll have a lot less people to love you when you come back. Well, except druggies maybe.

If you have thought or comments about this scandal and aftermath, go the comments section or tell me on Twitter and Facebook. See you next time. And A-Rod, we'll see you in two years...or on the basketball court.

Eagles player Riley Cooper Caught Saying N-Word (Remind You of Something?)

Well, folks, this is Great. Another day, and another white person using the N-word.

This is what happened on Wednesday when Philadelphia Eagles player Riley Cooper (Who?) was caught on cellphone video at a concert from country superstar Kenny Chesney saying the N-word while being intoxicated. Here's some video, from CrossingBroad.com:

He then got into a fight with someone else in the parking lot at the same venue. This vid is also form CrossingBroad:

He later apologized, made a few tweets saying he'll accept charges

and held a short press conference about it to drive the point home.
He was later fined by Eagles owner Jeffrey Lurie.

Eagles owner Jeffrey Lurie announced his team fined WR Riley Cooper for his racist remarks.

— Adam Schefter (@AdamSchefter) July 31, 2013

Hey. Wait. Hmmm...Doesn't this remind you of something? If you do, then you may have watched the news in the last month of two, are may have read a post I did last June.
Here's a hint:

Now here's the funny thing: a woman admitted to saying it years ago, apologized for it and even begged for forgiveness on live television, and yet she gets treated like crap by the media and her sponsors, while her empire is crumbling to the ground. Meanwhile a white man uses it, believing he wouldn't get caught for it, but did on cellphone video, and he gets away with it by only getting his ass kicked off practice and events?? He should be suspended off the team and/or taking a pay cut for this. This is a huge double standard. I'm not saying this because I'm black, but because it isn't fair...at all. You people should be ashamed of yourselves for letting an unknown football player get less scrutiny than Paula Deen for using this word. He said it and should be in trouble for it. This behavior is unacceptable. Even for football players. When you are successful, you should live like, act like, and be an adult. Although it's 2013, you should act like it's 1943. Well, without the N-word thing. And Paula Deen shouldn't have deserved that much scrutiny to begin with. It's just a word, people.

Now let me tell you a story about myself: When I was a kid, I hated the N-word. With a passion. I hated hearing other black kids (even my brothers) saying the word because it's supposed to make them scared and inferior like their ancestors. Sometimes I even wished the word would go away. Because I was told by mom and dad that the word is bad, and shouldn't be said. But as time gone by and I got older, I got more used to hearing it more and, I admit, I myself used it a few times. That's because people use it in a different context to explain them as their close friend or relative. I couldn't understand this. I didn't also understand why whites could use it, but quickly learned why; it's because they're white. People say this word, and they get away with it. There shouldn't be a problem with that. And we should keep it that way.

So that's why I'm writing this. The words nigger, nigga, or even Negro, will not go away. People will keep using it and won't care if others (even blacks themselves) will try to remove from the English lexicon. It will still be there, whether people like it or not. So let's not start a rally or fundraiser to get rid of the N-word. If a White person said, just shrug your arms and do your business. It's not like anything would go wrong if a Black person gets caught calling a White person a "cracker". Right?

Right??

Oh and by the way Eagles, you guys shouldn't worry about what's off the field, but what's on the field. Like the fact that the ball is in the other team's hands.

Simon Cowell Fathers Friend's Wife's Baby: Some Maury Povich Shit

Hi everyone. Need a shocker? Then watch FearNet. But here's the closest thing to real-life Trash TV drama.

The X Factor judge Simon Cowell is in big trouble today, as it is revealed that he may be the father of someone's baby... the wife of close friend Andrew (hey, that's my name) Silverman.

36-year-old socialite Lauren Silverman — who is still legally married to Silverman, New York real estate giant — is, as of posting this, 10 weeks pregnant with 53-year-old Simon's first child. Here's what led to the affair: Simon was close friends with the rich and ritzy Silvermans. He has gone with them on expensive vacations and lavish parties, being all the more closer with Lauren while Andrew was busy with other things. Recently, their marriage was on the rocks, and Lauren felt emotionally and romantically detached, so she ran into the arms of Simon, and they allegedly had a sexual affair behind Sir Silverman's back, which led to the love child. Simon didn't even know that the baby existed until July 10, with some saying "He was tricked" into the affair and conception of the child. Now all the tabloids in the US and UK are blowing up with this story and everyone's talking about it. Even his co-judge on America's Got Talent's cross-country counterpart Britain's Got Talent, David Walliams, made a splash with this, tweeting:

Oh yeah, and @SimonCowell is doing a baby with a lady.

— David Walliams (@davidwalliams) July 31, 2013

I LMAO'ed at this. It would've been funnier if he said, "Doing a baby with a baby".

Sir Silverman would speak on the matter, saying “My top priority is protecting my 7-year-old son while working to resolve all outstanding issues with my wife"..."Hopefully people can respect the interest of our child during this process." Miss Lauren would also break her silence saying in a separate statement, "I am committed to sorting things out with Andrew as amicably as possible to ensure the well-being of our son. I would hope for some space and privacy in order to work through this." The couple filled for divorce on July 15.
Simon would also speak respond to the matter, by only dodging the question during a press release for The X Factor at The Television Critics Summer Press Tour, joking "I haven't read the newspapers. Am I missing something?" and later said "Unfortunately I have to keep this, for the moment, private, but... it's just one of those things, but thank you very much anyway," So Simon, who really is aware of the baby he may or may not be having, will not say anything about it...but I'm going to.

This is not right. Maybe this is karma at Simon for all the damning criticism to all the contestants on American Idol and wearing that ugly black T-shirt all the time. That's what you get for being a Brit, Simon! Better than us at everything; smarts, physique, monetary posterity...uhh, hot voice--okay that's too for me.
But seriously, this is so wrong here. Like Maury Show wrong. At least you weren't black, because if so, everyone would find this considered to be a laughing matter; a ratchety laughing matter. But these days, news like this is a laughing matter anyway, and I scoffed at this the first Time I read this. Even if you're not the father, you ought to be ashamed and embarrassed of yourself. Because to me, a baby is considered to be a big, living, breathing reminder of an affair and regret. Also, Silverman should leave Lauren, because cheating breaks marriage vows, and breaking vows--well--cheating's just bad, okay? The fact that this rich couple can't go to marriage counseling and fix this union (which probably is as his fault as was her's too) was also baffling. If they really love each other, they shouldn't be together in the first place.
And I hope Mario Lopez makes a joke about this at the first live X Factor show, because...actually that's what the show needs, counting it's ratings log and network's desperate need to fill a schedule. (*cough FOX cough*)

SLMR: I Love This Shit & Beat It (the Sean Kingston one) & Tapout

Welcome to Short/Long Music Review, where I find songs (I either love or hate) to review them in a short review that took a long time to review.

Today I review three songs that are about metaphorically hurting some poor slut's vagina, having money we poor folk could never have in a million days, stealing women in other relationships, and smoking illegal drugs like Freddie Prinze. All three are, in my taste, mediocre to various degrees, and I hate four of the participating artists (all featured) so here they are:
I Love This S#!t  by August Alsina featuring Trinidad James, Beat It by Sean Kingston feat. Chris Brown and Wiz Khalifa, and Tapout by Rich Gang featuring Future.

So we start with "I Love This Sh!t" by August Alsina featuring Trinidad James.

This is basically a generic modern R&B song about drinking, sleeping with random women, smoking illegal drugs and loving it like it's your last days on Earth. I like August's voice; he's pretty talented for a Chris Brown or Usher wannabe. But his voice should not mesh with these shit lyrics and chorus.
And then there's Trinidad James. You may remember him for his song "All Gold Everything". I hated it; just like I hate him. He is untalented, lucky to be in the  business, and is really funny-looking. In fact he looks like the product of Bootsy Collins and some black girl from Fat Albert and the Cosby Kids. But...as bad as it was, his featured performance here is better than the one on "All Gold Everything", which is like saying rotting garbage is better than battery acid.



So August needs to find better better material to sing with, because the usual R&B ditty of drinking, smoking and fucking is getting older by the day...and Trinidad needs to get all new everything.

And now, another song about the three C's: Cunts, Coitus and Coke, "Beat It" by Sean Kingston feat. Chris Brown and Wiz Khalifa.

Now at least this is better than "Love This Shit" in it's approach to Women. The guys see girls with with other men, and the girl wants to leave because she wants a better and spicier and raunchier--okay I lied. This is no better. It's just a song about stealing another guy's girl and freak with her, treating her like a disposable cellphone. They just think she's leaving him for one of them. Which is a joke, because the girl would rather be safe with him than life-threatening with them (Chris). Although the hook is, as I admit, pretty damn catchy. As repetitive as it is (saying Beat It over and over), it's something that can be a good earworm with a beat you can dance to. That is until Wiz comes in. In short, it's lyrics about getting high, saying her "nigga" needs to step his game up and getting her wet (like the ocean...heh heh heh).



So it's just another of these. These rappers and singers new to find things to rap or sing about, but they're too absent-minded and in the green to do so. And the people like this. SMH

And now to the final song of the three (and probably the creepiest), Tapout by Rich Gang featuring Future.

And you thought this was about wrestling.
Honey Mustard? (Shiver) Thanks Lil Wayne. You help me lose my interest in that. Before I begin, Rich Gang is a super group featuring members of record labels Cash Money and Young Money
So where the f*ck to begin? As usual, Lil Wayne has usual dic-I mean schtick about sex and his choice of women with low self-esteem and standards with men. And his voice? Dear God. Birdman has his million-dollar (blank) thing, Mack Maine is suckish at best and Nicki Minaj (with her Anjelica Pickles voice) talking about someone's ass (I don't know if it's her's, but who cares?). And everyone says "pussy" more than once. It was nasty for me to hear it in past few years in this context, but now it's just annoying. Future is great here, fortunately because he only does the hook. And speaking of, the second half of it is sadly and undeniably catchy.



And there they are: three songs I didn't have to review but I did, because-well-someone had to. The hooks are catchy, but the lyrics suck (on that) ass. But it's up to you if you want to listen. And next time I will be back to find another song to review (I hope it's good; who am I kidding, it's probably bad)
See you next time.

1 Season Wonder - Hercules: The Animated Series

Hello everyone and welcome to 1 Season Wonder, a segment at Maroon Mondays - where I take a look into the annals of Television and find some of the best TV shows--with one season--and bring them to you for your enjoyment.

Since this is the first edition, I will tell you what this segment is all about. I scour across the Internet and find TV shows with only 1 season, watch them, see if I enjoyed them, talk about them here and put them in a list of 1-Season Wonders. It sounds easy as it looks, right? No, you actually have to find these shows, watch through them hoping they're not as painful as they were the first time, and debate with yourself to see if it makes the list. If that sounds challenging and you want it that way, then let's do it.

Our first show is one of those great cartoons from Disney that you both loved and learned from. Not only can you get a nice lesson in Greek Mythology, you also get a laugh from its great humor and the nods of stuff from the modern era producers add to keep young viewers from being bored. It's based on the movie that you also loved that you also loved and learned from It's Hercules: The Animated Series.

During the 1990s, the Walt Disney Company was on a huge roll--not only with its movies, but also with its animated television series; particularly the ones that aired in syndication. DuckTales, Goof Troop, Darkwing Duck, TaleSpin, Gargoyles, Aladdin--they've all became hits and eventual classics, both in the mainstream and in cult followings. Another of these shows is Hercules: The Animated Series. The show had the usual animated series episode number: 65 episodes. Why? Because, at the time, Disney believes that this many episodes makes for enough material to achieve a few seasons. Except this show had only one. The series is produced by Tad Stones, who also produced other Disney syndicated animated shows. As you know this show is based on the classic 1997 Disney film of the same name, but is actually the prequel to the film; here, Herc goes to High School, hangs out with his friends Icarus and Cassandra and is in training to become a hero, as mentioned in the theme song. Also, there is a huge plot, among many contradictions with the film, where Hades is aware that Hercules is alive, which didn't happen in the movie. Also the series isn't in the film's canon, making for new stories as the show progresses.

The show reunites most of the voice cast including Tate Donovan as Herc himself and James Woods as Hades. In fact, Woods won a Daytime Emmy award for his role as Hades in 2000. If that doesn't prove how impressive his commitment to his role is, then I don't know what is.
Also, the show has an impressive guest voice cast list. The list involves over 150 celebrities from movies, TV and music. Where else can you find Merv Griffin voicing a talk show host...who is a griffin, or Wink Martindale as a sphinx who is great at riddles, Idina Menzel as a woman who's all over men like lotion all over ashy people, Ben Stein as Trivia (that's pronounced Try-VEE-ah), Kathie Lee Gifford and Regis Philbin as (respectively) a mother of very scary monsters and her numerous headed mate, and Dan Castellaneta as a reporter named...Homer. The producers really did know how to tie celebrities to the well-known people of Greek Mythology.

What I love about the series is the humor that comes with the mythology of the characters and settings, even though some are just in name. Even more with the the fact with when guest stars are involved. I don't really mind the history gags, as long as they're accurate. Also the fact that James Woods really commits to his role as Hades, making him a goofy dick than an evil son of a b*tch. Most of the characters are either humorous or humble, with a few being both. The series' art is also amazing: the color is bright, lush and meshes well with each other. And then there's the Muses. They are five women who basically sing songs during each episode. Some are fine, while others are really catchy. One thing I hate about them is that they always seem to kiss Herc's butt, every chance they get. That annoys me. I'm aware that there's a point to that, but there are episodes that doesn't have them do that, which I'm glad to watch sometimes just because of that. But they all are super hot, and that you gotta admit.

After all 65 episodes aired...that's it. Disney usually goes to the next production and sorta-kinda forgets about the last. After the show has ended, Disney made another movie, a midquel (whatever that is) Hercules: Zero to Hero, which is basically four episodes of this show mashed together with original bridging to show what happened during Hercules' teen years while he's spooning with Meg. Herc: TAS went to reruns on Disney Channel and Toon Disney for the next decade and is now for your viewing pleasure on YouTube. (Speaking of Toon Disney, it should've never left. Disney XD sucks. No matter what success it gets.)

So why is it a Wonder?: Because it is one of the many great syndicated Disney animated series. And yes, there many. Basically a individual work of art among the many a individual works of art Disney has put apon the world from the late 80s, throughout the 90s and the turn of the millenium. Also, JAMES FREAKING WOODS.

Favorite Character: Tie between Icarus and Hades. Because both are hilarious in their own ways -- Icarus for talking before thinking (his brain is fried for flying too close to the sun), being his hammy self 24/7, and throwing himself at Cassandra, who doesn't give a sweet f*ck about him, and Hades for being more funny than evil, being his hammy self 24/7, making the rude but comical one-liners every chance he gets.

Favorite Episode: Hercules and the Bacchanal: Because--well, come on, who doesn't find Bacchus hilarious?

And there it is, Hercules: The Animated Series, the first addition of the 1 Season Wonder segment, added to the list of 1 Season Wonders and will forever be known as the spin-off of some Disney film lampooning Greek Mythology, but you know, in a great hilarious and absolutely awesome way-with James Woods.

Next time, I review a classic show starring Sally Field everyone forgotten--until now. It's the first show where surfing, hot guys, dancing when the sun goes down, and the goofy best friend were the priority--before Disney Channel ran it to the ground.

I'll see you next time, but until then, keep your television shows close and the pieces of crap closer.

HW Shaves Head for Little Cancer Patient, My Heart Warms

Hi everyone. If you love a good story to end the week (or close to the end of the week), here it is.

Former President George HW Bush shaved his head in solidarity for the son of a member of his Secret Service detail. The boy, 2-year-old "Patrick" (as identified by the former president's office; his last name withheld at the request of his family), has leukemia and has his hair removed because of treatment. HW got the idea to cut it all off by his other SSd members, who also shaved their heads in honor of the cute little boy.

The office also announced that Bush's Protective Division has "launched a website at to assist with Patrick's medical bills, and organized the Inaugural Patrick's Pals Motorcycle Benefit Run on August 10th in Kennebunkport -- a 50-mile motorcycle ride through the Maine countryside followed by a lunch and silent auction to raise funds for Patrick's treatments." Bush and his wife Barbara's daughter Robin, who also had leukemia, died from the disease 60 years this October.

This is such a beautiful story. For the former president to shave his head, along with his Secret Service detail, in solidarity with this young child, this is really heart-tugging. No child, let alone Patrick, should bear the pain of being diagnosed with leukemia and going through treatment, not even thinking of the fact that every breath could be his last. I hope the boy beats leukemia and lives a really nice, long and healthy life.
And I usually hate Republicans for some of the things they do, but I commend HW for such a very good thing. I also am sorry for the loss of his daughter to leukemia. Again, no child should bear the pain of being diagnosed with leukemia. May this man be forever thanked from me (and probably the rest of the country) for such a great deed for such a young boy.

Paula Deen Breaks America's Buttered-up Heart for Racial Slur Use

Hi everyone.

Earlier this month, Paula Deen gotten into hot water when she revealed in a taped interview that she used the N-word a few times before in her life. Since then, many sponsors have dropped deals with her, including K-mart, Walmart, Target, Sears, and the Home Depot. Her shows were dropped was dropped by the Food Network and she was also dropped by Random House as publisher for her latest cookbook. Since then, her life is in terrible ruins.

This is just really sad here, both literally and figuratively. This woman has had a huge empire that she built for decades, only to see it implode in a week. Her many sponsors leaving her for saying the N-word, of all things, in a taped interview, have become pussies in response. She later went to Today where, in an interview with the always curmudgeonly classy Matt Lauer, she wanted to apologize for this for the tenthteen time and wants to past in the past and begin anew. She even said "I is what I is". I actually understood what she said, being from the South, even though this sentence is a stupid punchline for a really stupid joke; this was probably said on Inside Edition to screw her even further, but I don't know.

This ridiculous behavior towards her needs to stop. We black people used the word as a greeting to each other with no problems for decades. But when a white person says it, we all are up in arms; but this makes us hypocrites. Yes even I feel bad when a white person says it, but don't call the NAACP for it. Paula Deen admitted she used the word once at a robbery at gunpoint. Why are we still bitching about it? And why is she losing sponsorship for it? She didn't do anything worse like killing someone, or raping a child, committing a major conspiracy involving some of the nation's top secrets! Yes she said the N-word, but for me, that's considered a gasp and a talking-to in the my neighborhood. It's 2013, for God's sakes. We should be taking this in a little shock, then in stride, and then move on. This has been going on for more than two weeks and is getting stupider by the day.

Target, Walmart, Home Depot, and whatever else Ms. Deen has as a sponsor, you did a stupid thing dropping her. There are actors, athletes, authors, ect. who do even worse things than that, and they still get sponsorships, at least for a few more weeks. To think that saying the N-word is equivalent to killing a child, you're are sad pathetic excuses of human beings. What you've done will probably make you lose customers who all the way support Deen (women, people with a brain, Republicans, I don't know), including me; although I admit, I usually go with my mom to those stores. But if you don't re-sponsor Paula, I will never shop there again, which is rare, as I don't do that already. I only go for the air conditioning. And Food Network, you lost a viewer in me, and I only watch your shows because watching people make food entertains me.

Ms. Deen, you have my utmost respect as a black person. This bullcrap is downright dumb and I hope, for your sake and the sake of all that's smart and sane, that this "We Cut Paula Deen Because She Said the Word Nigger" crap ends soon. I may need a new shirt.

The Navy: Cap'n Crunch Not a Real Captain (FACEPALM)

Hiya, mates.

So I didn't read the news online that the George Zimmerman trial has began--or Edward Snowden has escaped US borders with top secret files--or even that over a 100 people died in India while all the talk was on Demi Lovato's deadbeat father died. Nope. I read the news that the United States Navy has declared that Cap'n Crunch, a very popular cereal mascot of the same-name brand from Quaker Oats, is not a real captain.



Yes, really. You see, their argument, as flimsy as I have ever heard, is that they said the Cap'n has three stripes on his uniform, instead of four as a real captain of any US law enforcement would have on his/her uniform, making the Cap'n a commander, leading them say that the Cap'n is--GASP--a fraud!! Even the Pentagon actually went so far as to say it had "no record of a Cap'n Crunch ever serving in the U.S. Navy," and they're going to have to investigate this potential "serious offense." (ugh) Apparently, this news has gone so viral, that it has gotten talk on many real news programs across the country, whether local, national, or even international. Everyone has talked about this for weeks more than any other horrible story in the world actually worth talking about. In fact the Cap'n himself has spoken about this in this video:

So there. If that should prove it. The Cap'n actually taking time to say he's still a Captain no matter what anybody says otherwise. And now, I would like to rant for a sec...

So, first off...WHY THE GODDAMN HELL IS THIS NEWS?!! This is not something the local and national news shows should be talking about or even mentioning like they're up in arms. And yes, some news sites are actually pissed at this. So what's next? The Trix rabbit's not a real rabbit, but a cat with a birth defect? Lucky the Lucky Charms leprechaun isn't really a leprechaun, but a man in a Halloween costume possessed by witches? Or, for kicks, Cheerios aren't little O's, but wheat-based ingredients shaped like vaginas? This isn't news, but it should be to show how stupid and screwed up the the Navy is for opening their mouths on this dumb subject. This is the biggest embarrassment for the US military since the CIA fired David Petraeus for having an affair on his wife behind her and his family's backs.
Secondly, why is the freaking Navy actually talking about this?! The Cap'n isn't real. He's a cartoon used for commercial and promotional use by Quaker Oats to sell Cap'n Crunch boxes. They shouldn't care about what's on his uniform, but what's in their stomach when they're eating his cereal. And like he said, he's four-fingered, eyebrows-on-hat-wearing man with a talking dog for first mate, for Crunch sakes. The Navy whining about the stripes on his uniform makes me want to facepalm as hard as I can, along with the rest of the nation, who finds this really sad on their part. And Pentagon, What the F*ck? You really, really believe that it's worth it to say that the Cap'n, a fake character to begin with, has no record of serving in the U.S. Navy and that you're launching an investigation of this potential "serious offense"? Oh My God, I hate this... This moment will be a perfect black eye on their reputation. They should have more important things to do, like send cadets to battlefield, or check if the enemy says hello with a missile strike, or worry about which cadet died so you can tell their families and forget about it later on. Make that another reason for Conan O'Brien to say Why China is Kicking our Ass. Unless I hope this is a publicity stunt. Yes, it's weird, but at least it makes sense.

And here's the hilarious and heartwarming part. People have went to social media to sing their praises to the Cap'n for being their cereal hero. Tweets, posts on Facebook, videos on YouTube, they have done it all. Even I myself have done it. I know we're all falling for a fake cereal box mascot, but it's worth it. We've all loved him in commercials for years and begged our parents to buy boxes of those delicious crunchy morsels. Here is some Tweets from the actual Cap'n Crunch Twitter page:

@RealCapnCrunch is a real captain! Only real captains can defeat the Soggies AND make a great cereal!

— Jason hyman (@Smashfan64) June 23, 2013

Do not question @RealCapnCrunch's rank. He has all authority over Crunchberries. What more proof do you need? #TeamCrunch

— Charlie Ratcliff (@SeeCharlieTweet) June 22, 2013

I'll say it again, Horatio Magellan Crunch will always be a Cap'n to me. Crunchitize me, @RealCapnCrunch !

— Zak Hlavna (@blahdiddy2003) June 23, 2013

So @RealCapnCrunch could be the Captain of a paddle boat & I still won't care. His cereal is AMAZING! #CapnCrunchForLife

— Millie Rocklage (@LadyMillieRock) June 23, 2013

Who agrees that @RealCapnCrunch is a real captain?? I stand by the #teamcrunch. #mysonslovethecrunch

— Melissa Joan Hart (@MelissaJoanHart) June 21, 2013

@RealCapnCrunch I don't care about what's your uniform or if you're a commander. You're still a cap'n to me. #StripesDontMatter #CrunchLove

— #AndrewPollard (@AndrewPollard_) June 20, 2013

That's right, all these people and more have tweeted their support for the Cap'n, and he tweeted back his appreciation with this tweet:

I'd like to thank all those on #TeamCrunch these last few days… your loyalty shall not be in vain! Stay tuned. pic.twitter.com/iY93EuGwkF

— Cap'n Crunch (@RealCapnCrunch) June 21, 2013

So Cap'n Crunch, ignore the talk and stupid stuff the Navy and Pentagon have put apon you and please stay your true self. We'd love it that way. Stay the Cap'n. Oh, and go f*ck yourself, Navy and Pentagon.

Now, excuse me while the Cap'n crunchitizes me. See ye next time.

SLMR: Chris Brown's Fine China & Robin #Thicke's Blurred Lines: Irony Personofied

Well it's been awhile since I last reviewed a song, except it wasn't a song; it was a snippet. And I still hate it. This time it's two songs that I actually like. One of them by an R&B singer known for almost all of his singles being about sex and treating a girl like a love slave...and the other being Robin #Thicke. These songs are catchy, the lyrics are saucy, and the appeal is obvious, but I still like them pretty well. These songs are "Blurred Lines" by #Thicke and "Fine China" by Chris Brown.

Let me start with "Fine China". This may be Chris Brown's best single in a long time for me. Not only is it catchy, but also infectious. What makes this so ironic is that the guy singing this is Chris Brown, the guy who treated ex-girlfriend Rihanna...not like fine china. But here, he wants to date a foreign girl and wants to do right by her, despite the objections of her father. Chris proves his point by trying to be a good gentleman...and dance and flip around with a bunch of random people who somehow know the same dance. And of course, he makes the girl immediately fall in love with him. And it works. Just like the song, which also works, as Chris goes back to his pure R&B roots.
What does annoy me about this song is the most obvious, that Chris tries to be Michael Jackson. Clearly he's not and shouldn't be. Also he does some high pitch crap in some of the verses and does what I think is stuttering at the bridge, which I should mute the next times I hear this. Other than that, this was a great song. This coming from a guy who really hates most of his singles and...basically everything he makes that isn't catchy to him in the least. At least it's not yet another explicitly sex-laden song that makes the ladies go "Gaaahhh".


Speaking of explicitly sex-laden songs that makes the ladies go "Gaaahhh", there is one that's burning up the Billboard charts in the form of "Blurred Lines" by Robin #Thicke.

Robin is known as the knock-off of Justin Timberlake, making songs that make women wet and make his record label money. Except the difference between them is that Justin is subtle in his approach to romance, while Robin goes straight for the heart (or vagina) in his, setting them completely apart. And Blurred Lines could be that one song that destroys that talk to the ground. It's all about asking a good girl (who, as he claimed, was close to being trapped in a plastic, boring relationship) to have sex with Robin #Thicke, something I assume no woman would want to say No to unless they're married or a feminist. Although I could do without some of the lyrics, the beat is addictive and, I admit, the line "I know you want it" cannot escape my mind as much as "DuckTales, woo-ooo". And TI and Pharell were there, but I couldn't understand his spitting to review and Pharell just says "Hey Hey Hey" over and over like he's a Fat Albert record.
And speaking of the lyrics, they are very saucy, along with the video, which involves three hot models with no tops (or even a bra) on, showing their breasts throughout almost the whole thing, besides the #Thicke hashtag popping up in every other frame. This was subject to scrutiny from more than a few feminist websites, one of whom called it "sexism under the guise of 'liberating good girls'” or basically it's 3 minutes of rape and bestiality. But in my case, all they did was stand and pose in the half-nude. I don't see what's wrong there. Yes, I'm a guy, you figure out what I was feeling here. But this video is tame compared to others involving girls as objects, which are all creepy as an understatement. I like the video just because it's all having fun and dancing your cares away, even if the song says otherwise.


So there it is. Two songs full of love in different places. I hope you enjoy them and this short review. Any thoughts on these songs, go to the comments section. See you later.

Taylor Swift's Fans: We Knew A&F Was Trouble

I know this me condescending to this kind of nonsense, but I have to. I gotta keep this blog.\

As you know, I ripped into Abercrombie and Fitch previously for their decision to stop making clothes for plus-sized women customers. This decision was because its CEO wanted to appeal to "the cool kids" This rip is well-deserved. But this post is completely different.
You see, A&F began selling a shirt for female customers that said this quote: "# more boyfriends than T.S.", the T.S. initials obviously being Taylor Swift. Apparently, this shirt became a hot topic online, yet I found this as funny as Phineas and Ferb The Movie. And Phineas and Ferb The Movie was extremely funny. And everyone else did too, most definitely because of Taylor Swift's well-know horrible love life and how she turns them into hit songs. This always becomes a big topic for comedians, talk show hosts and basically everyone else to yuk about. Since then, everyone has made this into a laugh fest.

But at the other end of the spectrum, a few hundred thousand people did not find this funny. At all. Who are these people, you ask? Swift's fans, who else? Apparently they found this so offensive that they began to curse A&F for being the horrible, sick, Devil-run company it is and began to boycott its stores for selling the shirt. They even took to social media to stop the sales of it, creating a petition on Change.org and called the service line to complain. One of them made a video about complaining to the service line.
Surprisingly, they even won this ensuing "war" between them and the company. So the shirt isn't sold anymore and the Swifties can call this a victory as they go tell their leader Torson about it on the planet Swork and once and again profess their love for their leader, once and again annoyed by this.

Seriously, can they take a joke? It is true that Taylor Swift has dated a few famous men, broke up with them, and wrote songs with this as if she's the victim, and they will feel sorry for her her and comfort her by covering her songs on YouTube, making fan art and doing their damnest to make her notice. But even they know that Taylor Swift sucks at finding the right guy, and making only songs about breaking up and falling in love with some random guy is just annoying. And what's even more annoying, at least to me, is the fact that they find anyone (or anything) criticizing her and defend her by shooting them down as if she means more to them than their own lives or eating, when in reality, Taylor Swift doesn't give a jack sh!t about them, only sees them as walking potentials of being rich, and her record label will do anything to make her record more songs for more exposure and (of course) more money. If she says she loves them, that's it; she loves them, but she doesn't really care about them.

It's kinda like the "Console Wars of 2013" except it doesn't matter who wins; both Microsoft and Sony win because you're spending hundred of dollars on something you don't really need, and when someone criticizes it, you somehow feel offended and must defend it, when Microsoft and Sony don't give a sweet f^ck about you, only your money. It's just like A&F and this shirt; they don't give a crap about Swifties, only their money and what they want to buy. They don't care who going to the store as long as they buy something. At least the girl with the YouTube video was a little aware of that, stating she still wouldn't want to shop there even after they took down the shirt.
And as for Abercrombie, don't be a pussy by taking down a certain shirt just because a few hundred thousand people don't like it. They're just Taylor Swift's fans; they don't really matter. And for every Taylor Swift fan, there's a Taylor Swift hater, and there are a lot more Taylor Swift haters out there who get the joke more and its value and would have loved to buy it. If only I were a woman.
Well, if you have a comment, send them down to to the comments section. And if you're a Swiftie, unload right now. I need the exposure. Until next time.

Kimye Goes "North" for Baby's Stupid Name

Guttentag, everyone.

Last week, Kim Kardashian and Kanye West gave birth to their first (and probably last) child, a girl, a month early. A;though she is healthy, she was born premature from labor pains Kim has suffered during the pregnancy. Now more of the baby's information has been released, mainly her name. As reported by TMZ, the name Kim and Kanye have given for the baby girl is...get ready...here it comes...her name is...North. That's right. The girl's name is North.

What. The. Serious. F#!&?

Of all the names they could've have given the baby, why did they gave her North? What kind of "intellectual" thoughts have been running in Kanye's head that would lead to that name? And what thoughts were in Kim's head at all? I'm sorry, but this is a stupid name baby, let alone for a girl. Even if it were a boy, it's still stupid. This name might seem creative for some, but not for me. And I've seen girls name more ghetto than this, and even they make sense.

What makes this rumor stem is from those jokes from Late-Night talk show hosts and people on Twitter about what name the baby might have. Whether it starts with a K or a direction. They even made jokes about the girl's butt and how big it would be, coming from a mother with an ass as big as a Whopper and father who likes to chase said asses as big as a Whopper. And of course, as you have guessed, I really didn't care; I just laughed. But why am I talking about it anyway, you asked? Because I wanted to say how stupid this name is and that people who will actually comment and say that it's not and that I'm just "hating" on them are either in denial or looking for attention and are also stupid.

I'm hoping this isn't some kind of theme going on. My family has a theme of names that start with A, my name Andrew included. Names by the letter A are clever. Names by directions aren't that clever. But if you still want to go that direc--no--way, then a better name for sweet baby "North" should be "Easton". Yes, it's a direction name and it's still a girl, but at least it's a real name. The only way I'd find North is on a compass, street sign, or on a poster for "North by Northwest". Speaking of "North by Northwest", this tweet by BET was hilarious.

movie buffs will know how this relates to #kimye pic.twitter.com/D4l2XvDS7I

— BET (@BET) June 21, 2013

And if you want to add "North" into the mix, try "Easton North West", or even "Easton Northby North West" (Northby pronounced North-BEE or North-BY, whatever). Kim and Kanye, I hope this report isn't true and that "North" isn't the baby name. I rarely care about you two or the money-grabbing, attention-hungry, always-annoying Kardashian clan.


(By the way, Kim, congrats on your mom Kris' talk show coming in July. I wish her good luck...or not.)
But anyway, nice try Kimye (I really hate this mashed name), you two aren't fooling anyone. Especially me. Alright, I've had enough. If you like or hate the Kimye baby's name, or have any thoughts on it, please say so in the comments section below or on Twitter. I'll see ya later.

Man Threatens Sister's Life Because He Wants J. Cole to Notice Him

You know, guys, this also had my jaw dropping too. And yes, you read right. Some crazy nutcase wants to kill his own sister if rapper J. Cole didn't retweet a tweet of him buying a copy of Cole's album Born Sinner. Here's the deets:
The asshole named @_TzC_ thought it was a great idea to take a picture of himself holding a gun toward his little sister and tweet it with this caption (and I quote): "@JColeNC retweet me and I'll buy Born Sinner. Don't retweet me and I'll kill my lil sister ȁd" . That would seem like a genius idea, right? Of course...IF YOU'RE A F*CKING PSYCHOPATH!!!

I don't know if he thought this is funny or worth a look at, but this is just sick. To get attention by making a tweet stating you'll kill your relative if a famous celebrity didn't retweet it really makes you a scumbag. A dirty, sleazy, rotten, disgusting scumbag. Twitter would later delete his account for good.

J. Cole later did retweet the tweet with this tweet:

Understandably, he may have been shocked at seeing this and wanted the poor girl's life to be okay. If he could believe it. Also some people that the tweet was for getting attention and called out Cole for believing it and retweeting. One of the people, @ItsMrKingz, sent out this:

@JColeNC WHY WOULD YOU RT THIS DAMN FOOL POINTING A GUN AT A CHILD? LIKE THAT SH*T FUNNY?

— I. King (@ItsMrKingz) June 18, 2013

Hey, it's not J. Cole's fault some dumbass wanted to get noticed this way and it's not his fault that he was worried about the girl. Maybe he knew this was some asshat who wanted attention and wanted everyone to see it, or maybe not. You can't blame him for that. It should be the idiot's fault.
And if that wasn't enough, the moron would make these statements on Facebook:

And then he makes this:

"Um...Johnnie Cochran is DEAD, dumbass!", is what I said.

Anyway, he should be lucky he's not in prison for this crap. They should lock him up for 20+ years for assault and battery, attempted murder, endangering the welfare of a child, and simply being an idiot. As for the little girl, feel very sorry for her. To be related to...that is just wow. And J. Cole, don't fall for bullcrap. You're better than that.