Saturday, May 09, 2015

303rd POST OF ALL TIME: Short/Long Song Review: Chains & Jealous (#MaroonMay)


Hey, everyone. Welcome to the first Short/Long Song Review of Maroon May 2015.
And just my luck, I'm reviewing two songs by an artist that I'm happy to listen to. Not only does he have talent in his genre, he also has the charisma and appeal to carry himself in the industry. Unsurprisingly, he's been doing so since he was a child when he and his brothers Kevin and Joe started their band, and before then too, when he started as a solo act at 7 years old and even went on Broadway.

After their band's quick reunion and disbandment in 2013, the brothers set out in different directions: Joe began his own solo career (which so far, has been moderately successful), Kevin got married with kids and is starring in a reality show called Married to Jonas (which didn't last long) and little Nick has gone to television (starring in Kingdom on DirecTV's Audience Network) and (for a while) Broadway, and also gone into solo work as well.

And because of that, he's become the bigger bro as of late, with his music becoming a big success and throwing him high into the music stratosphere. His self-titled album peaked in the Top 10 of the Billboard 200, and the singles released so far have been doing very well, with both heating up the charts in many countries and reaching Top 20's in some. So I'm going to take the time to review those singles, "Chains" and "Jealous", and give you guys where both fare with me. But because I love both songs, this will be a "Lesser of Two Evils"-type review, so this won't be me laying crap on them.

Let's start with "Chains", because I feel like this is the better track.



The song is about Nick going in a relationship with a girl who treats him like dirt, but he loves her (and the way she treats him) so much, that he can't break up with her.

To me, the lyrics are real and raw. I could totally feel the emotion through Jonas' vocals. They are short, but they do leave some impact and are very catchy, especially the chorus, which is short but bittersweet. The sweet part being Jonas' vocals.

And speaking of, let's talk about Jonas' vocals. They sound soft, haunting and weak, with substance and personality layered in. It also feels like the type of "guy-asks-girl-why-she's-treating-him-wrong" song that's done right. It's what "Grenade", and by extension "Rude", tries and fails to do. Those songs have the guy sound dickish and whiney, with the lyrics not helping him at all. And when he says "Baby, tell me why/why did you/do me wrooong?", that's a simple line that Jonas added substance into. Although the way he says it is a bit irritating to my ears, like he's a baby or Elmer Fudd. And it gets a little worse when the chorus comes in, as it features this line twice more.

So yeah, this is a great song about falling in love with a crazy bitch, yet trying to keep the flame alive.

As for his other song "Jealous", this may be the wrong song on some levels.



Let's start with the lyrics...
"I don't like the way he's looking at'chu
I'm starting to think you want him, too
"
Ahh, there's a line every man would relate to.
I mean, crazy men who believe women have 12 eyes and use them for every man (and some women) with
"Am I crazy, have I lost yuh/
Even though I know you love me/can't help it
"
Yes. You really are. Even more than guys who do this shit to girls when they break up.


"I wish you didn't have to post it all/
I wish you'd save a little bit, just for meeee
"
Umm, aren't you her boyfriend? Don't you think she would save you some at any point in the relationship? As in ALL OF IT? Come on, Nick. Even if this was her job, I think she would be faithful enough to not show off as much off her body to other guys as po--

Damn.
"Addictive, I'm possessive/Yeah
Call it passive and aggressive
"
Addictive? Possessive?? Aggessive?!?
No wonder many people don't like this song. You sound like a freaking sadist/domestic abuser! How dare you make us feel like she's in the wrong for being (GASP) attractive?!? When you look like a whiny asshole for being so possessive of her. She's not a mint-conditioned action-figure, you mint-conditioned action-figure-body type tool!

"I turn my chin, music up/
And I'm puffin' my chest"


Before I get to my sorta-funny responce, there are lyric websites that prove different lines. Some say "cheek", others say "chin"; so I can't tell which word makes the official lyric. That's the major fuck-up with these things. I blame the music industry for not giving out the lyric sheet.

Chin? As strange as it sounds, I could know almost immediately that it means that Nick has decided to turn the other cheek, put the jealousy aside and continue his relationship with his lady, drama-free and love-filled. Or this:

If he meant the second option, I would've called bullshit and called his ass a woman beater.

This would not help.
"It's not your fault, that they're hovering/I mean no disrespect"
It isn't? Suuure. On the outside, you say that; but inside, it's like you're saying "It is your fault you're so damn hot, that so many guys are breathing down your neck, so I have to be a roadblock".

"It's my right to be hellish"
Yeah, sure, it's your right. But you sound a bit--wait. What?! Hellish? What the hell is "hellish"?! Who the hell says "hellish"? How in the hell is "hellish" a word?? I don't think I heard any man say "hellish" when it comes to relationships. They would admit to cheating before saying "hellish". They'd call a woman a bitch more than saying "hellish". I even have a feeling more men would have their nuts removed before ever saying "hellish" for any reason in their lives.
...I guess I'm too late, thank God.

"I still get Jealous"
Sure, you get jealous. That's fine, but you sound like a whiny dick for that. Which is ironic because you really don't don't look one.
"You're too sexy, beautiful/ And everybody wants a taste/
That's whyyyy...I still get Jealous
"
Uhh, about the "dickish and whiney" line I said a while back? Yeah, I guess I could throw Lil' Nicky in too. So, I can see why is everyone giving this song shit.
Dude is acting like a child because his girl is hot and every guy looks her way, so he acts like a bodyguard and a hype man. I do agree with them on this.
But I have a question: Is it wrong for a man bare his feelings? I don't think so. Are men not supposed to do that?? Not really. We already have women singing on about their relationships problems, but when suddenly someone with a dick croons about with his problems, we all just point and laugh? That's a double standard right there. But...

Do I still like this song? Yeah.
Do I find it catchy? Yeah.
Is it great musically? Hell yeah! It's got a great 80's Pop vibe that can go back to Lionel Richie, Prince, Michael Jackson and George Michael, among others. It's a nice touch of retro, while still sounding modern. So people find it boring. Hey, I didn't judge you all when All of Me, Happy, Drunk in Love, Cool Kids, Chandelier, Birthday and others like them last years all became Top 10 hits, so don't throw dirt on him because of it. And another thing: How can you tell which song is boring when you listen to them? Because to me, they sound mid-tempo at best.
Do I regret putting it on my Top Ten Best Hip-Hop/R&B List? No. I like this song and I stand by my pick.

Lyrically, these songs differ greatly. "Jealous" is about a whiny man wondering why her other men want her (idiot), while "Chains" is about a guy who's in a relationship with a frozen bitch, but wants to continue it. Musically, both songs are astounding. "Jealous" sound like a perfect 80's R&B song remastered in Dolby Digital, and "Chains" is what a Bruno Mars relationship track should be.

And their music videos couldn't be any MORE different, too.
Chains is dark and haunting, while Jealous is light and colorful. And...
Chains features dogs and brutality, while Jealous has an old man with money watching a hot girl be hot.
And for better visuals, I think that "Chains" is the better video. "Jealous" has some corny-ass special effects that wouldn't be out of place in a parody video of any popular song. I know it isn't a big deal, but the look feels really off to me. "Chains' has a nice dark look and concept that would give you near-intense feels halfway through. Plus the choreography is amazing and feels like something on a CW show.


I love both songs and will continue to enjoy them both. Nick Jonas is a really talented musician and I hope his career will continue for years to come, to say nothing of his other brothers, who are probably just costing from the royalties checks they still get from songs like "SOS" and "Burnin' Up", ahem, ahem, Joe.

Thanks for joining me in this first edition of Short/Long Song Review during Maroon May 2015. tune in next week, where I have another song planned for review. It's all during the event, and I hope you enjoy it It's how a post a bey. Until then...I need to find a girl who won't treat me like shit, physically and psychologically. Hmm...I guess it won't hurt to experiment.

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